#replace it.... wheres the bypass machine thingy.... (<- not a med student)

[nonranghaes]

heads up! vernon performs fake surgery on med student!reader to cheer them up. he's just silly <3

"scalpel."

you have no idea what your boyfriend is doing. you've been slumped over the dinner table for the past who-knows-how-long because studying has turned your brain to mush (you're in med school, that's the medical term, you swear). vernon hums to himself, and then you can feel his index finger trailing down your back as he makes his own sound effects in the form of a steady beep... beep... beep... to simulate a heart monitor. his fingers trail across your back, as though searching for something, and the "beep"s turn a little more frantic.

"vernon, what are you--"

"patient's getting better," he says, and then immediately goes back to those faster 'beep--beep--beep's. "i think. heart rate is increasing. that's good right?"

you don't answer, burying your face in your arms again. you can't let him see you smile. he'll know whatever he's doing is working, and you kinda wanna see where he's going with this. he grabs a fistful of the back of your shirt, letting go as he draws his hand away, still making those beeps.

"the surgery is a success..." he says. "i've removed the heart... i've saved the patient."

you turn your face. "baby. you can't live without a heart. i think the patient's dead."

"nah," his hands rest on your shoulders, already kneading at them. "i stole your heart and you're still alive--"

immediately, you let out the loudest groan--although whether it's out of disgust for the cheesy line or amusement because he managed to entertain you, he can't be sure. he thinks its a mix of both, actually--but it doesn't matter. you're smiling now, and that's what he set out to do.

he leans over you, pressing a quick peck against your forehead. "food's here, by the way. gotta support my future doctor somehow."

(you don't have the heart to tell him that making you laugh is always enough... and not because he stole it.)