#repressionpatton

[nonbinaryroyalty43]

Repression!Patton, logan x janus x emile, jewel

Characters: Emile, Repression!Patton, Logan, mentions of Janus

Pairings: Logan x Janus x Emile

Warnings: Repression, insomnia ish, bad childhood, family splitting up

Summary: Emile has a cartoon reference for every scenario. And this time it’s Patton who needs it.

Tell me if I need to add any warnings. Also, I made up the cartoon mentioned in the fic. It sucks.

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Every since Emile’s appearance, the general mental health of all the Sides has increased dramatically. Emile was wonderful at helping the others work through their issues. He got the Sides to open up and accept each other.

One Side, unfortunately, proved very hard to reach. Emile tried multiple times to get Patton to open up, but it was nearly impossible. He was Repression for a reason.

That changed very early one morning. Emile woke up around four and couldn’t get back to sleep, so he gently untangled himself from Janus and Logan, who immediately snuggled closer to each other, and went to the kitchen.

To his surprise, Patton was already up, sitting at the table with a mug in front of him. He looked....exhausted.

“Patton? Is everything okay?” 

The Side’s head jerked up, obviously caught off guard. “Y-yes, I’m fine. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Ditto. Decided to have some tea and relax before everyone woke up.”

“There’s hot water in the kettle,” Patton mumbled, laying his head on the table. Emile noted his odd behavior, but went about making his tea as though nothing was amiss. 

When the tea was finished, Emile sat across from Patton. Patton pulled his head off the table and their eyes locked. Emile was surprised as the tiredness he found written in every line of Patton’s face. He looked only seconds away from passing out.

“Are you sure nothing is wrong? You don’t look very well.”

Patton opened his mouth to say something, probably another assurance that he was fine, but hesitated. He let out a long sigh and seemed to crumple slightly. “I can’t make it stop.”

Emile fought to keep the shock off his face. Was Patton finally going to open up to him? “Can’t make what stop?”

“The feelings. I’m responsible for making sure Thomas doesn’t receive or acknowledge feelings he isn’t ready to face yet. I get so used to doing it for him, I do it, too. Every a bad thing I feel- jealousy, anger, sadness- I push it down and pretend it isn’t there. But the feelings keep coming back and I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Emile listened to his rant, nodding every so often. “Patton, have you ever seen the cartoon, Wolf Riders?”

Patton shook his head. “No, not really.”

“Well, the cartoon is about this group of teens who manage to tame a pack of wild wolves and journey through this forest to deal with issues that arise. One of the main characters, Jewel, had a pretty bad childhood and repressed all the bad memories so she didn’t have to deal with any bad feelings. As a result, when she saw her brother years after they’d been separated, she didn’t understand why their family had been split up.”

Patton slowly nodded. “I think I get what you’re trying to say. Repressing emotions and bad memories is common, but can ultimately be bad?”

“That’s right. I’m not saying you have to let it all out at once, but I would find some healthy way to channel your emotions. That might be by doing something physical, like gardening, or even talking to someone. I know everyone here would be willing to listen, including me.”

For the first time that morning, Patton smiled. “I might just take you up on that.” He took a long sip from his mug before standing up to put it in the sink. He started to leave, but paused in the doorway. “Thanks, Emile.”

“Anytime.”

Once the room was empty, Emile allowed himself a small celebratory dance. Finally, after so long, Patton was starting to open up.

So when Logan came down half an hour later and asked Emile if something was wrong, Emile smiled. “Everything’s just fine, Logan.”

And at that moment, everything was.