#right around public breakups (x2)

[jlf23tumble]

What does coachella I will survive make you think?

It makes me think thoughts about break ups!

[bisluthq]

ok so this is what I think and wrote it somewhere else the other day so it's a bit long. Also I'm not accounting for other problems behind the scenes. This is more about the tour thing.

I don't buy this whole she wasn't being bejeweled or free and whatever. I don't even think she wants to be as public and out there as most fans seem to think, with the whole chained in the basement thing. I do think there was something more she wanted in terms of public events and work events, but like I also think there's an overcorrection and the narrative being pushed is not accidental.

I think she was pretty pissed and hurt Joe wasn't there for the first tour shows. I mean him not being there kind of ruined the picture of her life just being perfect in all fronts. The thing missing was the cheering boyfriend there on tour with her. And that has been her focus since then, having a boyfriend in the audience (will extend on this in a bit).

Now I don't have Joe's filming schedule to say with 100% certainty he could easily have made it or not really. But from an outside perspective, unless he wasn't filming everyday it seems a bit contraproductive to expect your boyfriend to wrap up his friday shoot probably kind of tired, fly for 13 hours, just the enough to make one concert, fly other 13 hours and then having to wake up early the next day to work all in the middle of a big timezone change. Unless he didn't talk to her after the first big show or made an acknowledgement whatsoever, it seemed to be far better to wait until the shoot wrapped up so he had no other focus.

I mean sure the first show is specially nerve wrecking, but you can provide support from afar and there would be dozens of other dates he could have made instead. I also wonder if that photo with Emma which triggered the unfollows, to her it felt like oh so you weren't here to hang out with her kind of thing. Sometimes we can be irrational, when we're hurt yk.

If you were attentive to her Betty speeches last year, there were quite a few pointed ones about showing up to make things right, apologizing etc I can see how for Taylor would be all about this big sacrifice for her that he didn't do (I'm sure there were probably other issues going on that didn't help the motivation to do a big sacrifice either). Which brings me to the whole thing I said earlier of her chasing the having a boyfriend in the audience.

So her boyfriend was missing right, a while after they breakup. Enter the Matty era, the white knight in shining armor promising her the world, flying 20 hours straight from his concert for her. Oh yeah, the big sacrifice she wanted you see (cause she was feeling like an old cardigan and he said you're my favorite iykyk). Also if you check the articles the whole we're proud of each other etc narrative was already being curated at the time. Matty played his part of the boyfriend in the audience, sang her songs, dramatically acted out during Lover and followed her around for the whole month he had free like a sidekick. Then he has to leave and things end. And cue to how things are now. Same style of cheerleader boyfriend, same narrative (but x2 because not even with Matty she was doing this much, don't think he was as ok with the showmance as much as she needed him to either) and emphasis on being a cheerleader boyfriend *in public, that's an important disclaimer.

Notice how we also had nearly constant update articles on them, but outside of her concerts we actually only saw them twice together I think. He was also papped alone and leaving her house. No way to know how that would have evolved, had they stayed together longer.

All of this to say, this whole private-public thing to me is both an overcorrection due to the sour spot of his absence on the tour; But also that in general what she wanted to change was them being front and center at work events, and not just backstage. A bit of parading around you know what I mean (even though I'm not sure if she really wanted it to the extent of now or this is just going a bit to the opposite extreme).

Had Joe attended the tour I think he would have preferred to be in a suite so less eyes and cameras would be on him, definately not being announced in advance, definately not run and kissing in front of everyone...

I think Taylor wanted the Joe from the Reputation tour who was a bit more whipped for her and willing to put up with his blushing being on TV and cameras recording them hugging for a documentary, and I'm guessing even a little more than just that since she was expecting them to be more open. But people change, the honeymoon phase fades and our own priorities change.

I mean exactly - people change and to stay as in lurve as you are in the first few months/year or whatever takes active effort and it doesn’t seem like either of them were necessarily making it.