#rin is having tea with: nohrenvia

[zhongrin]

Rin rin, I got this idea when thinking of some imagines. So how about this?

You die.

Yes, you died.

And who is arranging your funeral? Well, of course, it's none other than the Wangsheng funeral parlor consultant, a.k.a your husband, Zhongli. The funeral hall is impeccable, Zhongli spared no expense when it comes to his spouse's funeral. Hu Tao is nothing but solemn as she tended to the funeral procession. Rare and exotic flowers from every corner of Teyvat, fragrant candles, expensive incense, and a beautifully crafted casket where your body was laid.

Zhongli already spent half of his fortune, his hard-earned mora, just to fund your funeral. He would have spent more, if not all, but Hu Tao stopped him from doing so. According to Liyuean custom, an elder should never show respect to someone younger, and since you died young, Zhongli would be lying if he said he was not hurt by the fact that you have to be buried in silence.

As the consultant gazed upon your body, he would've thought you were merely sleeping if not for the casket, Zhongli, your husband, the love of your life, the one you swore to spend an entire lifetime with, couldn't take his eyes away from his wife. Though in some cases, he would've broken a taboo about touching a dead person's body, but he doesn't care, this was his spouse we're talking about. And the funeral attendees couldn't help but feel pity at the sight of a husband losing his beloved wife.

"My dear, are you at peace up there in the heavens?" He whispered, using the back of his fingers to caress your pale cheeks.

"You have loved me until the end of your life," Zhongli grasped one of your folded hands, not minding the flowers faltering in your hold, placing a heartbroken kiss on the back of your hand, "Allow me to fulfill my end of the contract. I shall love you until my life perished."

The funeral attendants have finally left one by one until only a few stayed, including Zhongli and Hu Tao, the funeral director. Both of them had a silent conversation, Hu Tao knew that her employee wished to be the last to leave to pay respects, at least that is what Zhongli showed on the surface. The truth is, he doesn't want to leave, he wants to embrace you for as long as he could before you would be taken away from him. But, he can't. As much as painful that is, Zhongli has to accept reality.

...what's this? Did your hand just twitched? Oh!? Was that the colors returning to your once pale visage? No, that was just his imaginations. His mind playing tricks on him since he couldn't soothe his broken heart. Perhaps, the erosion will too eradicate his immortal soul so he could be reunited with you in the next world--

...wait, was that a scream? Why are the attendees screaming? Ah, so that's why.

You woke up.

It feels like you were having a long, long slumber. Your body may be tired but you still mustered the strength to rise and sit on the-- wait, why are you sitting inside a casket? That's not important, right now. What's more important is the first thing that you saw is the face of your husband-- oh wait, he looks mortified... and were those tears in his eyes?

"Lǎogōng, why are you crying?" Gently, you asked, wiping his tears with the sleeve of your burial robes, made from silk and the finest fabrics. Thank the archons more than half of the people left, if not, they would've seen the respectable gentleman known as Zhongli collapsing to his knees, half-wailing as he embraced you, thanking whatever higher being that brought you back from the dead that's a story for another day. Poor him, the staved off grief he felt because of your supposed death came pouring out at last. Even Hu Tao was speechless

But what came next out of your mouth was, "Alright, who's paying for my funeral?"

Hu Tao's face turned pale.

---

"So, technically, I am alive, right? I'm not dead, so can I get a refund?"

"No." Hu Tao deadpanned.

"A discount, maybe?"

"NO!"

Yeah, Zhongli tried to convince you to let it go since he already paid Hu Tao a whole ass mora for your funeral, but you decided to bitch about it because YOUR HUSBAND'S SPENDING IS OUT OF CONTROL, he wasted half of ya'll savings, Childe got dragged into it too.

Childe: Say sike right now

And no, Hu Tao isn't going to let go a big chunk of this month's income. Zhongli paid fair and square. Besides, that money is going back to him anyways some of it, maybe? in the form of his monthly wage.

Zhongli's lucky that you love him, he got away with only a bonk on his head

But, he couldn't help but smile. He doesn't regret spending the mora one bit. In fact, it's a bargain, he thought. Your life for half the price of his savings? It's free real estate /j 🤭

Just don't be surprised if half of Liyue Harbour pissed their pants when they saw your dead ass sliding down the neighborhood.

I'm sorry I tricked you to reading angst when it's actually crackhead content

For anyone asking how you came back to life... go figure, ehe~♡

HELLO????? NOHR?????? I NEED YOUR WRITING BLOG STAT OH MY GOD???? *grabby hands* URL PLEASE 🤲🏻

oh no zhongli’s silent grief and immense love in this are making me tear up… my bby. my beloved. my love. my darling. wo de xiang gong. wahhhhhhskdjsldjlsd

coincidentally, i am writing two others ‘reader is dead’ fics… is this some kind of a sign….. 👀

i just want to say 1) sorry for hoarding this ask i just needed to reread it like a hundred times before releasing this to the world, and 2) thank you for sending this in because i’ve been in a writing rut recently, but this made me write a little something! i hope you win all your 50/50s, your wanted character comes home at you within 10 pulls, and your genshin f/o visits you in your dream. take care, and don’t forget to drink water, eat your meals, and take breaks!!!

also i hope you like the little something i wrote in relation to this delicious delectable masterpiece <3

[zhongrin]

Trying to figure out who's Meirin's real husband, huh?

"It's me!" Wriothesley chuckled, meanwhile Zhongli is sitting with a soft smile, "It's most certainly me." Alhaitham gave a monotone It's me but won't let his eyes off a book.

*brings out a host flashcard* Who's ready to play 'I'm Meirin's True Love'!?

ghfalsdjfkladhflkajsd NOHR NO /lh

but but but. can't i. can't i have all of them. i can stack 3 wedding rings on my ring finger i'm sure-

[zhongrin]

Rin, think about it. Zhongli would be a walking encyclopedia in the modern AU. He's notorious for being that one guy who seems to know everything, it feels like you're talking to a grandpa. Imagine if our local Liyuean peepaw became a running joke in the neighborhood, if someone doesn't know something, the neighbors would only grin and points at his direction.

oh definitely. with that eidetic memory of his and his interest in history he could be a history professor (if he wasn't already one)....

actually this kinda hit me hard - can you imagine zhongli as a kindergarten teacher? he knows all these historical things and he loves listening to storytellers, yes? imagine him spinning the tales of old into some kind of a wonderful fairy tale for the kids... i think he would use those kind of eloquent words at first but when he sees the little ones going "??????" he'd try to simplify them so they can understand.... now he's the children's favorite before-naptime entertainment hsdlfjskldjf

[zhongrin]

Rin, dear...

It seems that my letters have been... blocked off by something.

Hm... that's strange. Someone has been killing off the ravens I sent to your location. My poor birdies...

Anyways, since you find this letter, it means my secret methods work.

So, anyways. Something is happening in my place and I—

the letter ends here, with splotches of blood near the last sentences, a trace of golden yellow is found on the bottom page.

dear nohr,

hey, is everything okay?? i received a blank letter from you and i thought it was strange, so just wanted to check in!

hugs and headpats, meirin

"are those... feathers?"

"hm? ah, yes. they have a fine sheen to them, don't you think?"

"what are you going to use it fo- sorry, stupid question. let me guess. alchemy."

"you know me well, starlight. i was also planning to try and ground them to use as paint. i think it would make a beautiful color when paired with red."

[zhongrin]

Zhongli's sister-wives association should be a thing by now... the problem is that the members are too many! but an archon deserves thousands of spouses, right?

oh believe me it is a thing and it's wonderful lol

thousands? you mean millions?

[zhongrin]

i got out of my hiatus just for this lmao

it was supposed to be crack but I dropped lore instead🤣

Anyways, hopefully the link worked for you, rinrin

[𝓏𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓇𝒾𝓃'𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭]

awwww!! sjdhflsjdklf your si/oc(?) is super cute, nohr!!!

although.... i'm wondering who this "someone cute from Sumeru City" is 👀

and yes the link worked no problem! <3

[zhongrin]

By the way, rin... zhongrin :)

Anyways, any news on how you got the name? I thought you would be loyal to Albedo and honor his name, hm? >:]

it's just my uh other chinese name ok dw about that 👍🏻

albedo is quite a private person so i didn't want to impose any burden to him so that's why i didn't incorporate him into my blog name <333

[zhongrin]

Sis, please. I am merely stating the truth~♡

In my humble opinion, Zhongli wants nothing but the best for you, mora be damned, dignity be damned, celestia be damned. He'll spoil you a lot, only taking the finer things in life, things that are worthy for the mate of the geo archon.

Nevertheless, Zhongli's a keeper. I could imagine him throwing the most tasteful, respectful, and elegant funeral for you. And when you got revived did we just became a new adeptus!? be prepared for a more protective hubby guarding you everywhere. Mr. Zhongli the local gentleman got traumatized by losing his spouse and getting you back fresh from the next world was a vibe check

Venti: Man, this party is dead

Zhongli: Bard, this is a funeral

zhongli spoiling his beloved so true *cries* he. he truly is a keeper. i mean sure he's got his flaws but he's so... akdjajdjsl idk he would be one of the most ideal husbands out there imo

hehehehehe maybe we did winkwink

it's like he's your shadow for the first few days cause he's literally tailing you everywhere. yk those cats and dogs who scratch the bathroom door when you're going to the bathroom? that's him.

he doesn't scratch on the bathroom door tho, he's too much of a gentleman for that... but he does knock every five minutes asking "dear? are you alright? you're taking a long time in there. do you need my help? are you in mortal danger-" like zhongli pls what kind of mortal danger would a bathroom have-

archons forbid you accidentally trip or hurt yourself in this fragile period. you're gonna have to persuade him hard to not turn full dragon mode to rush you to bubu pharmacy.

ALSO VENTI HAHAHAHHHAHAHHAH NOT AT MY FUNERAL PLS-

[zhongrin]

Don't worry, babygirl. No need to be jealous of Al Haitham on twitter, I'll be your sugar mommy any day🤣

i want to adopt that man i s2g

had i known you simp for kaveh i would've put your acc's cameo in shdlkfjskd

[ ⟡ teyvatweets ⟡ ]

[zhongrin]

Kopi? Apa itu?

In abah zhongli's house, we only have tea :)

WHEEZE

li... yang, tapi aku ga bisa hidup tanpa kopi....

yes sir we only serve steeped leaf here but not steeped grounded roasted beans-

[zhongrin]

WHO TOLD YOU TO MAKE ZHONGLI SMOKING A PIPE TO BE SEDUCTIVE!? Oh my god, rin. I suddenly want to sit on his lap while he lounges and smokes

you got your wish <3