#rn it isn't the best time to visit France like

[godisasimp]

France acknowledged

[girltomboy]

My bf came to visit me last week, and we spent 4 days together. I took time off work specifically for that. It was great to see him again, we visited our friend, went out to celebrate our anniversary, went grocery shopping together, cooked celery soup together, and stayed in. Unfortunately I got a cold 2 days into our little home vacation type thing, and he had to take care of me, but it felt good to have him here. As soon as he got back home he started showing symptoms too, but his wasn't as bad as mine. He said he'd start applying to jobs again when he gets back home, hopefully that happens this week. I'm scared that if he gets a job we won't be able to go on holiday together this summer. He also tried to gaslight me and his mom that he never said he'd study/take exams this semester if he gets a job, which isn't true and I have the texts to prove that. Maybe he's backpedaling now because he's scared, and I get that he's had enough of this university, but he can't go back on his word by lying. Not when he's perpetually stuck in freeze mode like this, just doing nothing at all ever. I'm catastrophizing because I'm tired, haven't had enough food or water today, too much screen time, took a nap until 6pm and I got that awful Sunday feeling anndddd possibly some PMS as well. AND my bf did not call me at all and barely texted me. If I don't go on discord nowadays we don't spend time together at all, and if we do he doesn't talk to me and just sits on his laptop. Like, the weekend just ended and we didn't do anything together, he only called me to say goodnight, how can you even say "I miss you" to me and make that little of an effort to spend time with me? Again, I'm not in the best state rn. But that doesn't make anything I said any less true.

I finished the first season of Six Feet Under today, and watched the first episode of the second one. I love this show, it's deranged and funny and honest. I love that it's old. I'm obsessed with Frances Conroy, and would you believe that when I started watching I didn't imagine that I'd come to love her character so much? She and David have the most interesting arcs so far. I'm so excited to keep watching, I can't believe it's taken me this long, I'm talking over a decade, to decide to watch it.