#roseguided. . .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀dina levitt

[enslaughts]

@roseguided. . . liked.

fall fuckin' sucks. it starts off well enough, warm and crackling like a fire as the nights start to grow cold, flame - colored leaves painting the hilltops red and orange and yellow like a constant sunset. sunsets are never constant, though, and jackson's sets on harvest. apple trees shed and shake, children high in their branches ; cherries and pears, peaches, juice - stained sticky feet and hands fill up backets and then pots and pans and jars. everyone and their uncle begins the long and never slow process of storing up for the winter. all the redneck ingenuity they pulled to stay cool in the summer comes undone for the oncoming cold, the opposite of calm before the storm. it's jackson, so it's not a panic, but it's something close ; a frenzy, prey animal bustle, quickened heartbeat hum. a beehive at it's most busy.

and then— and then ! cold season kicks in. everyone's favorite time of year, and it's not life - altering, world - ending, sick - sick, but their double - time becomes over - time as slews of people close off in their homes to recover, boiling bitter herbs and hand - washing sweaty sheets. it's manageable enough, until patrolmen catch it. then, it's either double shifts for the others or less experienced volunteers, and— well. what was cat supposed to do when dina was the only patrolman left without a partner ? not volunteer just to see the look her face ? karma's a bitch, though, turnabouts fair play and all that. joke's on cat, 'cause now he's knee - deep in mountain mud leading a stupid horse through the worst of it. unfortunately, a broken ankle for cat will always cost jackson less than a beast of burden suffering the same. whatever. the look on dina's face last night definitely isn't worth the look on it now.

“   you know, clickers are gonna hear that stupid smile on your face from a mile away and come alll this way just to rip it off,   ” he explains between stupid - ly heavy breaths, gaze too heavy to keep up, downcast, tracking each step on the sloppy incline like it might be his last. at this rate, he fuckin' hopes so. “   and i will point and laugh, and gladly let them rip my adorable face off too.   ”

[ritiual]

@roseguided / starter call.

death is unavoidable in this world. teeth gorge on flesh, fungus grows where it shouldn't, and it consumes everything within its path. the only thing it has yet to destroy is the sensation of love. in their shared home, all ellie feels is love. warmth, protection, and home. she's aware going to santa barbara is a suicide mission, especially alone— there's no comfort offered in the thought. but she can't get tommy's words out of her head, no matter how hard she tries. everytime she closes her eyes, it's a flashing presentation of faces: joel, abby, tommy, dina, even marlene. she can't sleep, not until this is finished. she has to do this. [even if dina doesn't understand, there's a boil of ellie's blood that won't simmer until it's over.]

“i have to do this, dina. i have to. ever since seattle... i'm not sleeping. i barely get maybe... fucking two hours a night. all i can think about is her. she gets to fucking walk away, unscathed, from everything?” there's a realization dawning upon ellie as the words depart from her mouth— love can be a strong feeling, but revenge can be even stronger.

[causatum-a]

@roseguided​​​​ asks:  *  cuddles  ellie  in  bed  bc  they  deserve  it  *  /  random asks .

despite  the  light  peeking  in  from  the  window,  ellie  makes  no  effort  to  greet  the  day.  instead,  she  rolls  onto  her  side  and  shuffles  closer  to  dina,  her  forehead  nuzzling  into  the  other’s  shoulder.  she  could  remain  like  this  forever,  and  if  she  had  her  way  they  absolutely  would.  ❛  m’too  comfy,  ❜  she  mumbles,  voice  dripping  with  sleep.  she’s  certain  they  have  patrol  today,  but  that  can  wait.  at  least,  she’ll  make  it  wait.  she’ll  no  doubt  be  apologising  -  while  not  meaning  it,  of  course  -  for  that  later  on.  ❛  not  fuckin’  moving.  ❜

[ehlie]

@roseguided​   /   dina.

you’ve been quiet since you saw it   ;   the half moon gouge in the brunette’s shoulder,   blood beginning to dry around the edges.    the beating of your heart thumps so loud,   it’s the only thing you can hear.    the thumping becomes a war-drum you could memorize without hesitation,   only you know it won’t be the loudest sound of the night.    numbness creeps inside your stomach   &   crawls up your ribcage into your lungs,   your hands reaching where dina’s couldn’t   ;   between her shoulders,   down to the small of her back,   the wash-cloth in your grasp collecting the dirt   &   mud caked on her torso.    there’s a quiet reminder with every moment about how this will be the last time,   the whispering reminders becoming shouting that makes you want to grab a nearby gun   &   aim it at your temple to stop it.    you would do anything to make this stop.    you’d taken too many memories for granted,   everything too fuzzy in your mind to recall vivid details of your time together.    the dizziness made your stomach churn enough for yourself to keel over��  &   empty the contents of your stomach.    you didn’t want this to be the last sight dina saw of you   ;   you didn’t want to make this any harder for her   &   yourself.    deep breaths are inhaled shakily,   forearm wiping any remaining substance across your lips,   features wrinkling in agitation.    ❝    sorry.    ❞    it’s quiet enough for only her to hear,   your lips remaining parted as there’s a mutual exchange with her eyes.    the room becomes silent,   your hand extending to be taken for the last time,   a scorching inferno growing in the crevices of your eyes.    ❝    i’m sorry.    ❞

[antmounds]

@roseguided​ sent: “if it’s between me and the baby i- ... i choose the baby. i want this baby to live, do you understand?”

It’s something they hadn’t discussed yet   —   a thought that had wandered through both of their heads but had never been spoken from either of their mouths. When Dina called a family meeting when they’d both gotten back from a patrol, it was met with groans and sighs from both, but the lingering feeling in both of their guts over something they needed to talk about. 

When the topic was brought up, Ellie could feel the butterflies beginning to form in her stomach   —   she could feel them clawing at her stomach lining, trying to force their way out through her flesh. It was uncomfortable and a feeling she couldn’t push down, no matter how hard she tried. There’s still a part of her that believes she shouldn’t be here. Sure, she’s Dina’s girlfriend, but she’s not the baby’s mother   —   Dina and Jesse are the parents. They’ve had multiple conversations over it, explaining how she is a part of the child’s life and will be a part of their life, but it still doesn’t sit well with her. 

Maybe it’s because she saw Jesse get shot back in Seattle, and for a split moment, she thought she’d have to explain to the child one day how she saw their dad die right in front of her. Or maybe it’s because things haven’t been normal since Seattle. She isn’t sleeping well at night   —   whenever she closes her eyes, she’s brought back to that fucking theater, to the sight of Abby bleeding out right in front of her feet. It always makes her wake up in a sweat, fearing what could have happened in Seattle. 

In a way, they could’ve not been here   —   Abby could’ve killed Jesse, Dina, Tommy. She could’ve killed everyone. It’s a hard pill to swallow and an even harder pill to swallow in this room, gaze moving between the two. 

She barely hears anything Dina says in the whole conversation until the very end: if it’s between me and the baby, choose the baby. It makes Ellie glance up from the carpet she’s been staring at for so long and finally look up at Dina, discomfort evident on her features. She waits a moment, tracing over her girlfriend’s words. They’re hard to keep track of, them trying to slip away from her brain with every passing moment. Teeth sink down on her bottom lip, eyes fluttering shut momentarily before she finally speaks. 

“Okay.”   A pause, a deep breath being inhaled through her nostrils.   “Baby comes first.”   It’s spoken as a reminder to herself, head nodding as she speaks. 

Jesse’s gaze flickers between the two women, his head bobbing in unison with Ellie’s. When he looks at Dina, he doesn’t see his pregnant ex-girlfriend, he sees his best friend   —   the one who’s been around him the longest and knows nearly everything about him. Hell, there’s a chance she knows him better than he knows himself, which is what makes this conversation so hard. It makes him want to storm out of the house because they shouldn’t be having to have this conversation   —   if the world wasn’t so fucked up, they could be having a conversation like a semi-normal family. (None of their situation was normal, though.) They could be arguing over the different colors they painted the nursery’s in their separate homes   —   Jesse painted the nursery blue at his home, Dina and Ellie painted theirs yellow. 

Instead, here they are, talking about if a life or death situation. It makes him nauseous. 

He swallows, a hand running itself through his hair as he juts forward in the chair he’s currently sat in.   “Fuck, Dina. Couldn’t we have had talked about this another time?”   It’s quietly mumbled under his breath but he knows there’s no other conversation they could have. It was a necessity and one he needed to accept, whether he wanted to or not. 

His gaze is brought back directly to Dina, unable to stop his right leg from bouncing up and down. (A habit of whenever he’s nervous.)   “It’s the same thing for me, obviously. He’s my son. If something were to happen to me, I want you guys to pick him over me.”   There’s a crack forming in his heart, threatening to shatter with every word spoken through his lips.

[mortaem]

⸸    tags    /    ellie williams.

[nimphs]

»          @roseguided      (    dina  levitt    )   sent  :        things   you   said   at   one   am.        to   ellie  williams.                           ↳      things   you   said.      

ellie   sits   shoulder   to   shoulder    with   dina   on   the   ragged   little   couch  ,    knees   drawn   to   her   chest   and   forehead   resting   atop   them.      when   ellie   had   woken  ,    a   scream   caught   in   her   throat   and   dina’s   hands   on   her   shoulders  ,    they’d   gone   downstairs   to   avoid   waking   the   tiny   soul   sleeping   between   them.      even   now   her   breath   hitches   in   her   throat  ,    trying   to   work   its   way   into   panic.      she’s   hanging   by   a   thread  ,    nails   pressing   red   crescents   into   her   palms.

“      i’m   sorry   it   woke   you   up   again  ,    dina.      ”        she   can’t   bring   herself   to   look   at   the   other   girl  ,    but   she   doesn’t   shrug   off   the   hand   rubbing   circles   into   her   back.        “      i   still   see   it  ,    almost   every   fucking   night.      it’s   been      --      fucking   months.      it’s   over.      when   will   it   stop?      ”      

[effigy-blog]

jesse   mccarty   for   @roseguided    (  dina   levitt  )    /    sc

“      i   know   you   don’t   wanna   leave   without   ellie.      ”        palm   moves   in   gentle   circles   across   her   back  ,    words   soft.        “      but   dina  ,    please      --      this   vendetta   she’s   got      --      god   knows   when   she’s   gonna   find   this   girl  ,    and   the   baby  ...      you   need   proper   care.      please   think   about   it.      ”

[mortaem-a]

eventually,  as i get character docs done,  their mains and exclusives will be listed on there.  at some point this week, i might temporarily add them to my main doc.  but for now, this is my list of mains : 

penny  docker   (  agent sangria  )  ,    @statesangria      --      for  tony  stark.

dina  levitt  ,    @roseguided      --      for  ellie  williams. 

leia  organa  ,    @aldereign      --      for  bail  organa.

john  murphy  ,    @straength      --      for  bellamy  blake.

viviana  deluca ,  @viciousheart      --      for  bellamy  blake.

bellamy  blake  ,    @hisagony      --      for  octavia  blake.

obi - wan  kenobi  ,    @khenobi      --      for  padme  amidala.

[chmerical-a]

𝗦𝗛𝗘'𝗗  𝗦𝗘𝗘𝗡  𝗛𝗜𝗦  𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘  𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡,  broken,  bloodied,  helpless;  a  flash of  a  memory  that  seized  ellie  up,  waking  her  with  a  jolt.  a shaky  hand  reached  up  to  brush  sticky  brown  tresses  from  her face.  shit,  she'd  had  a  few  nights  reprieve,  a  few  nights  of blissful,  dreamless  sleep,  enough  of  them  to  lull  her  into  a sense  of  comfort,  leaning  into  the  security  of  her  new  life.  𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦  𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴  𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵  𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺  𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳,  𝘢𝘳𝘦  𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺?  with  breath  hitched in  throat,  the  brunette  crept  out  of  bed,  doing  her  best  to minimize  any  creaks  and  groans.  once  she  was  out  of  the  room, breath  could  finally  escape,  her  shoulders  could  finally  drop,  and those  tears  could  begin  to  well  up  and  up.  but  no,  they couldn't  escape.  not  yet.  not  here.  tip  toe-ing  about,  she  made her  way  down  the  stairs.  it  wasn't  until  she'd  tucked  herself away  into  the  spare,  hands  gripping  the  framed  drawing  she'd gifted  joel  years  ago,  that  trickling  tears  began  to  fall.  regret, guilt,  anger,  all  swirled  about,  stabbing  at  her  chest  with  every breath  she  took,  every  quiet  sob  let  out.  it's  a  steady  stream  of tears,  not  just  for  him,  for  joel,  but  for  them,  for  the  icy  cruelty she  let  take  over,  a  sadistic  sort  she  didn't  think  she'd  ever  be capable  of.

oh,  but  there's  creaks,  footsteps  above.  and  one  ellie  below, 𝗛𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗘𝗡,  𝙐𝙉𝙍𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙇𝙀𝘿.  there'd  be  no  use  for  pretenses,  dina's too  sharp  for  that,  always  has  been  despite  the  thick  walls she'd  been  hiding  behind.  the  tightness  stays  squeezing  at  her chest,  but  she'll  wipe  at  her  face,  drying  stubborn  tears.  panic will  come  and  go  in  a  flash,  fear  of  vulnerability  squashed  down by  the  peace  of  her  presence.  a  sense  of  peace  that  only  grows when  she  hears  dina's  voice,  soft.  her  touch  brings  a  jump  out of  the  taller  girl,  her  hand  instinctively  reaching  up  to  hold dina's,  ❝  yeah,  i'm  here.  sorry  i..  i  didn't  mean  to  wake  you  up. ❞  a  sniff,  quiet,  before  turning  around  to  face  her,  ❝  bad dreams.  nothing  i  can't  survive.  ❞  a  light  tone,  clashing  with  her glossy,  pained  gaze,  ❝  you'd  think..  seeing  them  so  much..  you'd think  it'd  get  easier.  ❞

ft. @roseguided // ellie williams & dina levitt

@chmerical LIKED for a starter ! ft dina levitt

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍’𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 & find ellie not at her side. however , that didn’t make dina any less concerned when it did happen. waking up in the middle of the night to jj in the middle & no one on the other end made her heart skip , it made her mind puzzle itself , & it made limbs more likely to arise & go looking ! just as she was now as she often does. carefully , dina pushes the covers aside making sure that jj isn’t moved or disturbed. getting out of bed , feet press against the cold wooden flooring of their bedroom & notice the open window next to the door. walking through , down the stairs , & into the living room dina’s head glances to both sides. ; with no sign of ellie in the immediate area, dina calls out quietly: ❛ el ? el, are you down here ? ❜ bare feed tread into the kitchen to find no one. turning around , feet make their way down a skinny hallway & into a spare living room where jj’s toys are kept. there, the woman finally sees her & sighs a breath of relief. ❛ ellie, there you are. ❜ dina walks over & places hands on her shoulders. ❛ what’s wrong , babe, what woke you up ? ❜

[causatum-a]

*  ♢  endless  𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒  edits  ›  @roseguided  may  reblog  .