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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 13/03/2021 (Drake, Silk Sonic, Justin Bieber, AJ Tracey)

Look, there are tons of new arrivals for this week, mostly in the top 50 and a third of them being Drake. Olivia Rodrigo’s “drivers license” is still #1 for a ninth week despite the aforementioned Drake. Let’s just run through this as quickly as is possible. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

We have quite a few notable dropouts from the chart here, particularly the UK Top 75 which I cover, including “Siberia” by Headie One featuring Burna Boy, “Apricots” by Bicep, “Afterglow” by Wilkinson off of the return, same with “ROCKSTAR” by DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch and then some pretty massive dropouts, some of which might return, most will not. These include “willow” by Taylor Swift, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo, “Looking for Me” by Diplo, Paul Woolford and Kareen Lomax and finally, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles. I’m surprised there weren’t any Drake songs dropping out because he debuted three tracks, the most he could possibly debut, but apparently there weren’t any Drake songs on the chart in the first place. Naturally, as it’s a busy week, we had quite a few notable fallers for songs already on the chart, like “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #16, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #19, “Up” by Cardi B at #21, “Anyone” by Justin Bieber at #23, “Afterglow” by Ed Sheeran at #27, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey at #31, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #33, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #36, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence at #37, “Money Talks” by Fredo and Dave at #38, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #39... okay, maybe “quite a few” was an understatement. Regardless, we still have more fallers outside of the top 40, like our biggest fall for “Bluuwuu” by Digga D at #42, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa and remixed by DaBaby at #43, “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka at #45, “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #46, “Toxic” by Digga D at #47 and “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #48... as well as “Ready” by Fredo featuring Summer Walker at #50, “Mood” by 24kGoldn and iann dior at #51, “Good Days” by SZA at #52, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #53, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu and remixed by Drake – apparently that doesn’t count as Drake – at #54, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I at #55, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #56, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #57, “Whoopty” by CJ at #58, “Pierre” by Ryn Weaver off of the debut to #63, “Be the One” by Rudimental, MORGAN, TIKE and Digga D at #65, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #66, “Mixed Emotions” by Abra Cadabra at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #68, “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek at #69, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #71 and finally, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #73. You’d think it was Christmas with all of this, except in this case there aren’t returning entries or even many gains other than “SugarCrash!” by ElyOtto up to #59. That’s literally it for any notable gains, so apparently only hyperpop can withstand Drake. God help us.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Don’t You Worry About Me” – Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Produced by Tatics

The “Bad Boy Chiller Crew” sounds exactly like a 2000s UK garage collective from London, and thankfully, I’m pretty much right, except these guys were actually formed in 2018 and see themselves more of a “bassline” group, even if they were formed a decade after the fact. Bassline was big in Yorkshire in the mid-2000s, and I guess the BBCC – subtle – are here to bring it back? I mean, I’d rather it go this way than having rappers lazily sample bassline classics like a couple weeks back so, what have the Bad Boy Chiller Crew got to say? Well, not much clearly, but they’ve never had to. UK garage groups weren’t ever hardcore rap collectives in reality, at least in the mainstream, and their primary purpose was to make bouncy music for the clubs and, yes, it worked. Does this work? Well, no, because it’s not really UK garage or bassline, going for a sampled piano-house chorus and percussion that never really goes full on with the “bassline” or has that much of a breakbeat. These rappers are definitely a presence and whilst I may not know what they’re saying because Genius.com gave up two lines through, at least they’re not more boring, just settling for mildly obnoxious in how everything sounds like double-tracked gang vocals. I can definitely see the mid-2000s influence in some of these synth patterns and absolutely the vocal tone on the chorus, which, by the way, is an incredible chorus that deserves a more subtle rap presence. Hell, I think KSI did a similar track like this with Nathan Dawe... he could have worked here. When I’m saying I’d prefer KSI over your own song and your own beat, you’ve got a problem. As it is, this is a really promising bassline-adjacent song with some really nice string flourishes and an infectious chorus, that falls flat in its attempts to keep me interested when the chorus isn’t playing because it serves more to repulse during instead of keeping its momentum. I’m praying for a remix that takes these guys off, honestly. AJ Tracey? Please?

#74 – “The Bandit” – Kings of Leon

Produced by Markus Drays

Ah, Kings of Leon, that indie rock band who hasn’t made anything good ever. Okay, maybe that’s a blunt, over-the-top statement but as little as I care about modern mainstream indie rock in the first place, I care even less about Kings of Leon, who I’ve yet to hear anything worthwhile from in singles. Regardless, they have a new album, which meant their lead single could finally chart, and I don’t know what a non-fungible token is and I’m not doing research for an album that my friend’s dad – read: Kings of Leon’s main demographic – thought was boring, so how’s this new single? Well, there’s an acoustic guitar strum I swear I’ve heard before, followed by a riff that admittedly sounds okay, a steady drum beat you can see replicated in rock songs of this tempo... the vocalist here is covered by everything in the mix, it feels, and even when I can hear him clearly, the lyrics feel overly cryptic to the point where nothing really sticks, and the guy’s delivery at least used to be commanding. Here, he’s fully checked out and I’m convinced everyone in the band stopped bothering. Whoever does the left-channel electric guitar wankery feels like he’d be more fit on a slower, lo-fi indie rock project and he’d really work in that context. Here, I couldn’t care less about this nothing of a song that just does not move. It chugs along through odd mixing and a “get this over with” guitar solo, and just chugs and chugs for four minutes. I honestly do not see a reason to seek this out, let alone an entire album... but it still went #1. That’s sales for you.

#70 – “What Other People Say” – Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato

Produced by Rykeyz

This song was released last month and hasn’t reached any chart in the US outside of the Bubbling Under yet, even with a video, which is just concerning for Demi, but I know she’s been struggling to reach any kind of further success recently, which is unfortunate as she always came off as one of the most interesting singers to come out of that late-2000s Disney star cast. To be fair, she did collaborate with professional nobody Sam Fischer, so I guess it’s partially her fault. That said, I like this song quite a lot, actually. Lyrically, it focuses on how both singers feel like they’ve left behind your individuality as a result of becoming famous and ending up distancing themselves from people they actually love and care for, with it being heavily implied in Demi’s verse that this is a result of not wanting people like her mother to see where she is now: taking the same drugs she was taught to say no to, with that pre-chorus of her realising she felt she was “better than” all of the people that she mirrors to. You can tell this comes from a real place from Demi, and it’s kind of heartwrenching, even if this instrumental is mostly piano-ballad fluff that does work for such a lyrically heavy song by casting off all attention away from the weak acoustic guitars and the finger-snaps that add more of a soul or gospel element to this production, which is pretty apt for some of the references to separating yourself from the religious practices you grew up on in the chorus. Demi’s vocals are pretty powerful here, and there are some really interesting backing vocals and ad-libs in that last chorus from both of them... oh, yeah, Sam Fischer is on this song too, but he’s such a lack of presence in comparison, even lyrically, that it probably doesn’t matter. Regardless, this is a good song and I hope it becomes a hit past the chaos of this week.

#60 – “Heartbreak Anniversary” – Giveon

Produced by Maneesh and Sevn Thomas

I figured this guy would finally chart here in the UK eventually, “Chicago Freestyle” notwithstanding, which was a top 10 hit for him and – guess who? – Drake. Anyway, this guy’s from California yet he totally sounds British sometimes, but that’s all I’ve really paid attention up until this point, and, yeah, I like this quite a bit too. Giveon has a really unique voice and the intro with those distorted vocal samples is a real Kanye touch to the whole song. The song is about Giveon finding it really hard to cope with a break-up of a relationship he thought had a lot of potential, through the odd and janky metaphor of “heartbreak anniversary”. The really cavernous mixing does accentuate how the percussion feels very stunted and the song as a whole feels kind of rough around the edges, but the desperate tone in Giveon’s voice and those pretty excellent backing vocals in the post-chorus sound pretty excellent, especially over these subtle pianos, and there are certain moments in the song that, like all good R&B, you remember for the vocal run or the harmonies, really rather than the chorus, so, yeah, this is good and I hope it sticks around. Huh, maybe sleeping a lot does make you more of a positive person... or maybe the music’s just good for once.

#49 – “Ferrari Horses” – D-Block Europe featuring RAYE

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

Ah, “Ferrari Horses”, from the same album as such gems as “Mr. Mysterious”, “Only Fans”, “Gulag” and my personal favourite, “Perkosex”. Maybe I’m just happy whenever I know a D-Block Europe song’s debuting because these guys are very rarely all that great but just consistently hilarious... and this one’s no different. It starts with reverb-drenched Auto-Tuned moaning from both RAYE and Young Adz that reminds me of Charli XCX if anything, because... sure, before it’s drowned out by acoustic guitar loops and a drill-adjacent trap beat... and, yeah, it’s really badly-mixed, especially the bass mastering, but, it’s a really satisfying drop, I’m not going to lie. The chorus’ melody is way too infectious for its own good, and you’d be surprised with the chemistry that Adz and RAYE seem to have, as she shares a verse with Adz where they bounce off of each other’s flow quite smoothly, both going into pretty funny falsettos – one that genuinely made me laugh out loud when I heard Adz’ attempt – but she really sells the melodic trap angle, I’m really surprised. Why is she still doing EDM? The double-tracking on her last few lines is beautiful, and I love how she comes in when it’s unexpected to awkwardly interrupt either Adz’s chorus or where Dirtbike LB’s verse would be... until he does actually come in and he kind of kills it, not as much as RAYE of course, but I think his delivery here is pretty great, especially when he slides in his Auto-Tuned flow from the more fast-paced cadence to the melodic drawl afterwards where I’m convinced he interpolates Weezer. Sure, the mixing is still bad, with the reverb percussion in the last chorus being really unnecessary, and the sequencing generally being off, and the content is really nothing interesting at all, except with a couple fun lines from RAYE, like when she says how she feels like she’s in Prince’s house because there’s purple all around her (we can infer what that “purple” is) or how she’s “so lit” that she can see two Young Adz, before realising it’s actually Dirtbike LB. I don’t think either member of D-Block Europe realises the layers to that line, but it’s probably best to keep them in the shadows, especially if it’s as unintentional as it sounds. Yeah, this is genuinely really great, and whilst I doubt it’ll last, I’m honestly shocked to the quality of this. Maybe D-Block Europe are just... good? Okay, I won’t go that far, but check this out.

#41 – “Medicine” – James Arthur

Produced by Red Triangle and Matt Rad

British daytime television and news rarely cover the Top 40, but at some point Lorraine Kelly did bring up new music releases expected to smash the charts, those being this song, Justin Bieber’s new track and that Joel Corry song we discussed last week. They did not mention the three new Drake songs or even the new track with Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak, both of which out-charted this guy intensely. Regardless, this has the foundation of a good song somewhere. It starts with a really nice-sounding pop-punk guitar riff that James Arthur could really sound good on. The song’s about being overly dependent on a woman who really helps with maintaining his mental health... but then instead of being a rock song, it goes straight into a generic, boring trap ballad with too much in its cluttered mix for its own good. The lyrics feel increasingly lacking in self-awareness, asking the woman to not let him “spiral” when he becomes suicidal, which seems like an obligation the woman does not need to take up unless she really cares enough. In the second verse, he starts rapping, full-on triplet flow, and I realise that this is James Arthur trying to do emo-rap and lose all hope. Then he says, “Everything gonna be Gucci today”, and the hope goes into negative numbers. If we’re going to bring back some essence of rock on the charts, please don’t let it be whatever the hell this is.

#34 – “Anxious” – AJ Tracey

Produced by Remedee

I guess he heard my pleading a couple songs ago. Anyway, it’s pretty bad that I could vision how this song goes by looking at the lyrics... and I was pretty accurate, but that’s partially because of how he uses Drake flows all over this song, directly referencing his songs “Life is Good” and “POPSTAR”. Regardless, this song is pretty alright, actually, especially with that bassy ambiance that serves the drill-adjacent trap beat with a lot of tension, perfect for his checked-out delivery about gunplay and flexing. It’s a British trap-rap song that does what it does in very little interesting fashion, but has good production and a vaguely charismatic vocalist. It also sounds a lot less fun than the lyrics will make you think, but it does have some energy in this fast-paced beat and by the second verse, AJ Tracey is saying some funny stuff, like how he’s “recession proof” and seems to know his exact UK Singles Chart statistics. Please, just do my job, I think people would be genuinely interested in reading what AJ Tracey thinks of Kings of Leon. I never really like AJ Tracey when he’s on a dark vibe, anyway, I think he really shines on more sugary production, but I think that’s just my preference when it comes to trap anyway. The song’s fine, but I can’t say it’s anything more.

#25 – “Hold On” – Justin Bieber

Produced by Louis Bell and watt

I’m pretty sure Bieber is still pushing “Anyone” and in the US, “Holy” is still doing pretty well to my knowledge, so I guess it makes sense to drop an album but not really another single before it, especially since now it seems to start underperforming. Regardless, I’m a bit more willing to enjoy this one because of that washed-out acoustic guitar pick-up and a definite groove in the bass and percussion during that chorus. I mean, Justin Bieber still isn’t interesting at all, but I like the guitars in the chorus and I guess that’s something. The content? Condescendingly holding his hand out to a woman he only vaguely describes, whilst pushing out the “we all make mistakes” narrative he wants to continue from “Lonely”. By the time the guy has any genuine rock energy he’d need for this song, it ends, so I’m just going to say that this is mid-tier Maroon 5 and move on.

#20 – “Leave the Door Open” – Silk Sonic, Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak

Produced by D’Mile and Bruno Mars

When Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak revealed a collaborative album was to release soon under the band name “Silk Sonic” – an incredible name by the way, how did no-one in the 70s copyright that? – I was immediately overjoyed and excited. Not only would this probably be a great album but it would be that one last boost that pushes .Paak into a mainstream context and for the record, he’s one of my favourite artists working today. His last three albums are all great and he’s made some of my favourite music ever, and has never been able to get that final reach into the charts until now, where riding on the coattails of Bruno Mars – who, by the way, is a fantastic artist in his own right nowadays – they’ve made a massive retro-soul cut that debuts at... #20. Okay, well, I know this style is bigger in the US but I did expect a top 10 debut here. Huh, well, that doesn’t take away from the fact that this song is absolutely incredible from the moments it starts with that drum fill and that distorted bass flowered by the jingling keyboards, with .Paak delivering some angelic intro vocals, and that’s before the first verse, where .Paak trades off with Bruno Mars really smoothly about simply picking up a girl yet making it sound like the most wonderful thing in the world. Bruno Mars almost sounds like he’s imitating .Paak at times, especially when he says that he just shaved and is “smooth like a newborn” in a really funny harmony. You could call Mars’ chorus cheesy but it’s just as cheesy as 70s funk was back in its day, and the way the instrumental builds up the tension with the rising pianos and smashing percussion just to cool down for the perfect pay-off in the chorus proves that even a song trying its best to imitate a live, jam-band recording and doing it very well can sound this intricate and perfectly crafted. .Paak’s second verse – he handles all of the verses here, probably because he’s ostensibly a rapper – has even more of a smooth, comedic charm as he offers the girl weed before also offering her filets, whilst also referencing some classic, iconic songs by three artists, namely Jimi Hendrix, Michael Jackson and... Anderson .Paak himself, and somehow it does not seem either forced or too unsubtle of a flex. The harmonisation in the background vocals in the chorus convince me that angels have been dropped down from Heaven and are currently living in Bruno Mars’ recording studio. Even at points where Bruno Mars is serenading you with “la-la-la’s”, its ridiculousness is undercut with .Paak’s ad-libs, and each chorus is so different that it never feels like Bruno is meandering or repeating himself... until the outro, which just of fades out because it goes nowhere. Honestly, I would rather prefer to see how the song really ends, and I think we will when the album comes out, but as a single, it definitely still works, and hell, a lot of those 70s soul and funk cuts faded out on the single edit anyway. I don’t think I’ve been this excited for a project in ages so, yeah, I have high hopes for Silk Sonic and this song alone keeps me fed well enough. Also, .Paak isn’t just a vocalist here, he’s on the drums too. Just saying.

#10 – “Wants and Needs” – Drake featuring Lil Baby

Produced by Cardo, Dez Wright and 40

At this point, after I’ve mentioned Drake a couple times and said he had three debuts this week, you’re probably wondering where they all are. The answer to that is that every single song from his triple-barrelled single release, Scary Hours 2, debuted in the top 10, with this being – to my surprise – the lowest, only hitting #10, which is still nothing to scoff at. Even for Drake, this is doing really well, which I imagine is because of how he had to delay his album so people are really craving for some new Drake that isn’t “Laugh Now Cry Later”. Now, I for one am not, and honestly I’m probably craving for less Drake if anything. That’s just my personal bias, though – I didn’t really like this project and haven’t liked much of Drake since 2015 or even earlier, but I still think the guy’s talented. I’m just pretty sick of the formula at this point. This particular single-EP thing doesn’t stray that far away from it either, with one song for the clubs, for the radios and for the fan. This one I think is for the clubs, even though they’re not even open so it’s really just for anyone to stream, and hence, we have Lil Baby on his third song with Mr. Graham. I wasn’t a fan of Baby until recently, and I’m not sure being a “fan” is really all that sincere as it’s really just hope and good will, but he absolutely kills his verse here and is the only reason could possibly be worth for me to revisit. The beat has vague squelchy synths and a boring trap pattern, heavy bass and some admittedly cool strings in the background that are cut out and drowned out by Drake being pretty blatantly off-beat. The chorus is monotonous and just stalling time until we get a brief escape from Drake for around 50 seconds of Lil Baby ranting rapidly in his typical frog-throat delivery and it left me kind of astonished on first listen because of how unexpected it was, and it’s still a great verse, even if the content is just flexing. “I’m not a GOAT, but I fit the description” is a bar, and I like the reference to betting his Ferrari off in a Las Vegas casino, which I hope he did not actually do. Hey, it’s more interesting than Drake wasting time with Kanye subliminals that aren’t even subliminals anymore, and a reference to how people grow on his albums, which I don’t think is even true, at least for his recent work. Ah, well, it could be worse. For example:

#6 – “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” – Drake featuring Rick Ross

Produced by Austin Powers, FnZ, Keanu Beats and Boi-1da

I refuse to believe this many people listened to Drake ramble for six and a half minutes. I refuse to believe there was a need for four people to make this lazy, unchanging beat that can’t even mix its sample correctly. I refuse to believe Rick Ross washed Drake on his own song for... you know, being vaguely clever and not a waste of time? Maybe I just love that “M-M-Maybach Music” tag, who knows? I definitely like it more than Drake, who handles the last five or so minutes with his monotone delivery and taking breaks to let the beat play because apparently, he can’t think of a flow that means he wastes less of the listener’s time. I’m sick of Drake’s more lyrical tracks nowadays where he goes on and on about how everything goes wrong for him despite him being so rich and famous and that’s the plot of this verse. It does not make you likeable or “real”, Drake, it makes you much more distanced and honestly just coming off as boring and kind of a dick. He starts his verse on a melancholy boom-bap beat by flexing that he’s a war hero – even though the last “war” he was in, he thoroughly lost – whilst also saying he’s doing all this expensive stuff in foreign countries when really, he should be staying in Canada or wherever he is during a pandemic. He then says, “These days, fame is disconnected from excellence”, which first of all, has always been the case and second of all sounds rich as hell coming from Aubrey Drake Graham, the most famous rapper, singer and musician currently alive, and far from the most “excellent”. That’s before he does his typical click-bait female-name-dropping and brags about his child whilst also side-eyeing the child’s mother for no reason, saying he had brunch with the judge he’s appearing before in court for child custody – you know, bribery – and that he doesn’t like how when he pays child support, she sends her the heart emoji in response. What else do you want, Drake? She’s the one raising this child, you have no right in telling her what emojis to use when you brag about sending child support to her, and then in your song which gets millions of plays. I’m not going to make assumptions about the mother here but it sounds like a really bad move, especially when you continue to talk about how the mothers at parent-teacher meetings flirt with you and ask if you know celebrities, whilst also bringing Secret Service-level security to the humble French school in Toronto your kid goes to. Something feels really icky about putting so much pressure on your son and their mother through rap lyrics, not even giving them much of a limelight other than through condescending references in a snoozefest of a single. Oh, yeah, and then he boasts about being friends with the corrupt, human-rights-violating royal family of Dubai, before mixing lines about how his house looks bigger through his son’s eyes with how his penis looks bigger when the woman is drunk. Yeah, no, you can’t really redeem this especially when the beat is unchanging and dull. I’m not a fan, and honestly, Drake’s pushing into his late 30s and yet I still think it’s applicable to tell him to grow up. I can’t say as much for this next track, however.

#3 – “What’s Next” – Drake

Produced by Maneesh and Supah Mario

Okay, for our final Drake track, we have the only solo cut and surprisingly easily my favourite of the three, and the reasons why are pretty subtle. The trap beat relies on a really bassy trap knock over a chiptune-sounding beat that goes really hard, and even if Drake’s vocals are mixed... just straight-up incorrectly, being so far in the left channel for no reason and that being kind of inexcusable for a big artist, he still has a lot more energy here than he does on any given Drake track. His flow is faster-paced, and he references a lot of his older work through pretty slick lines, mostly based on delivery, and there are really subtle counter-melodies in the beat that creep into the mix and sound really great. Drake himself actually brings one of his best verses in the second verse, which is probably his best flow in years and some pretty nice bars, none I can quote here because of how long that stream of bars goes for. The sequencing is somewhat off and Drake’s vocals seem to cut off really abruptly a lot of the time but for Drake, this is as good as it gets in 2021, and I’m pretty happy to have a genuinely good Drake song on the chart. Hopefully, it won’t be eclipsed by those two other tracks as time goes on, but we’ll see.

Conclusion

It may sound odd after dunking on Drake for a while at the tail-end of this episode but this is a damn good week all things considered. I think I only dislike the Worst of the Week here, going to “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” by Drake featuring Rick Ross, with a Dishonourable Mention for Kings of Leon’s “The Bandit”, though it’s not really that bad of a song, just pales in comparison to some of the absolute gems we have this week, particularly Best of the Week, which obviously goes to “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic, whilst Honourable Mention is a bit more of a toss-up. I’d give a tied Honourable Mention to both “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe featuring RAYE and “What Other People Say” by Demi Lovato and Sam Fischer. Sorry, Giveon, it was really close. Here’s our top 10 for the week:

Thank you for reading. You can follow my Twitter @cactusinthebank but I’ve actually been permanently locked out of that, so I probably wouldn’t bother. Regardless, next week, in the words of Drake, we’ll see what’s ‘bout to happen next. See you then!

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yeoldontknow · 7 years

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Hero: 12

Author’s Note: lord i have missed this world soooo much. this chapter is brought to you by the NYC subway system, a 4 hour drive home, and late nights editing. please welcome this world back with open arms <3 Song for this chapter: This Isn’t The Place - Nine Inch Nails Genre: Vampire!Chanyeol; horror; thriller; drama; suspense; eventual smut Pairing: Chanyeol X Reader (oc; female) Rating (this chapter): R Warnings (this chapter): explicit language; graphic depictions of violence; graphic depictions of blood Word Count: 6,890

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When the stone of the temple was not weathered, eroded beneath the wind, the rain, and the hands of time; when the dye on his silk robes was vivid, fresh, and soaked into the cloth with meaning and symbolism, Chanyeol felt everything with the whole of his heart. To him, the world was limitless - in its beauty, in its joy, and its grief. He wanted everything, all the best and worst parts, all the horror, strife, and bliss, in a fullness that would make his body ache and his skin tingle from the stimulation. Back when he was human, Chanyeol was alive.

Beneath the blanket of his taut skin, his blood flowed freely, furiously, tenacious in its desire to clutch every emotion by its throat. Many things came easily to Chanyeol - his laughter, his loving words, his breath, his gentle touch, but the easiest of all was his blush. His blood flowed with nothing but sentiment, liberated in an adrenaline rush brimming over with feeling again and again until his cheeks were coated with the stain. He loved deeper and cried harder, let passion take complete control of his mind, his heart, his soul until all of him was painted and contorted into something raw.

Always, he could not control the speed of his pulse and the spread of the heat across his skin, barreled over by the force of his own surrender. Always, his full lips would swell and blossom into the most vivid red -

red -

The fire was holy, he felt that down into the marrow of his bones. The ore and flame were thunderous with their purpose, roaring in the kiln like the voices of every angry god. Each day, he thrust his hands into the great maw of the flame, into the mouth of righteousness, and baptized the glass in the sanctity of its tongue. Into the glass, he would blow his truths, his secrets, twisting in the flame until all his anguish took shape. They flowed from his lungs: words of love and loss and devotion, filling and encircling the molten glass until all his secrets were swallowed by the fire and trapped within the glass. Deep into the red -

red -

The flowers were in a state of decay, withering beneath an autumn frost that came just as quickly as the season. The flowers were in a state of decay, browned and black, and surrounded by the shattering glass statues of the temple garden. Chanyeol was dying, bleeding and whimpering, silent in the way he stared at the sky, but around him there was screaming. With each fissure in the glass, he heard his own voice, three times as loud and breaking open with the woe of feeling - the woe of dying.

Chanyeol was dying, and all around him there was screaming

screaming -

It’s your own voice that wakes you, tearing through your chest at a volume that makes you think your lungs and chest have ruptured, split open from the strength of your howl. The shrillness of it echoes around you, bouncing off the walls and dragging you begrudgingly from a restless sleep. Head full, swimming with words and voices that do not belong to you; skin crawling with the texture of fabrics and wounds you have never felt, your body is trapped in an agony that feels like a stasis. This is how you live now, or so you think, perpetually bleeding out and into the world, leaving yourself with nothing until you have completely disappeared.

This is all you are now, you think, memories of too many bygone lives with nothing of your own to bind or keep you.

Even before you are wide awake or aware, senses returning to you slowly as if trapped in the thick tar of your fatigued brain, you can feel a tepid sweat seeping from the pores of your skin. This is not a fever. You are not ill. You are bloated and leaking with lives lived and lives lost, and the stress of containing them all is spilling over into your bed sheets.

It's your own voice that wakes you but it's the pain, the sheer misery of it, that pulls your eyes open and makes you choke on your tongue. Wet and heavy it slides back in your mouth, making you gag and gasp as your back arches off the bed and vaults you forward. The stiffness of your muscles, the calcium snap and metallic crack of your joints catches you off guard as you move, making you question how long you’ve been trapped in the skeleton of your bed. You feel less pliable now, less human and flexible both in your body and your will. Instead you are something comprised of wood and metal, something constructed and made beneath the hands of men - a synthetic thing waiting to be used.

Midway through the arch of your spine, strong arms envelop your waist and aid in the lift, immediately easing your weary bones with their touch. On instinct, you cling to the body that owns them, trembling, quivering, and forcing yourself not to weep. For a while you remain this way, allowing yourself to be calmed and comforted by hands that seem to move within you - taking the pain, taking the discord, pulling it from you in a steady tugs that allow your mind to clear. In these arms the fog of your trauma dissipates, silencing the voices - Chanyeol’s voice, others you don’t recognize, your own - and soothing the jagged pain that runs from your head and into your arm.

In these arms, you start to remember.

Chanyeol had been dying - was dying - no, he was dead. Twice now you’ve witnessed it - first in a technicolor nightmare you cannot process, but only now do you remember the visceral way he faded at your knees, body becoming an altar for your mourning. On his back, he was bleeding. On his back, he was not breathing.

Four bullet holes, counted in quick succession like the horsemen of the apocalypse, bringing death, destruction, war, and a hunger for a thing you’ve come to think of as a sickness. Four bullet holes, tearing open his chest with liquid silver, and dropping him like iron at your feet.

A knife had torn through your skin, dragged from the crook of your elbow to your wrist in one smooth line. It surprised you, if only because you’d forgotten it, how red your blood is, red enough to be almost black in its intensity. It surprised you, if only because somewhere along the way, you’d forgotten you were living.

Not long after, you’d passed out, dropping into someone’s arms with a whimper that sounded so unlike the tormented wail that had been building in your chest. It had been sucked from you, poured onto someone else’s tongue, and you had been left with nothing but a warm, dark night.

You should be dead. This thought erupts in your mind with blinding clarity. You and Chanyeol should be dead. Instead, you are sobbing, clutching to a person and wishing you could be buried. The act of living is causing you too much strife as late, and you think death would be a gift of relief for you. You think you’d accept it well, peacefully and with pride.

As your mind settles and your heart carries on, beating in a strong, deafening rhythm within your breast, soft words fall over you. You hear them first as though they are at a distance, far away and asking you to reach for them. When you stroke them, they seem to ground you, pull you back to reality, piecing you together with the strength of their calm.

‘You’re breathing.’

Yixing.

For a brief moment, you allow yourself to relax into his hold, folding yourself into his arms with a sigh. His closeness feels like a luxury, a comfort you hadn’t known you missed or needed. For a few serene, blissful seconds, you think this is the closest you’ve ever been to him. For a few serene, blissful seconds, you think this is the hardest he’s ever held you. Firm, tangible, and protective.

But then you remember it, not just the pain of it but the visceral horror of it. His empty, sad eyes as the knife ripped your arm apart. His empty, sad, yet tempted eyes as you bled into Chanyeol’s pale mouth. His sad, complacent eyes.

All at once, you are repulsed, overwhelmed by an abject shock that brings bile into your throat. You push him from you, wide eyed and seething, wanting to be as far from him as possible, and glance down at the arm you know should be little more than mangled flesh.

But there is nothing, not even a scar.

‘I didn't think you would want to look at it.’

His voice is a breath away from a whisper, tentatively showing you kindness and reminding you that such gentleness exists in unseen places. Part of you feels grateful for it, grateful that you won’t have a permanent reminder of all the ways your life is no longer your own and suddenly belongs to too many things - both physical and metaphorical. Part of you is grateful, but a larger, more hostile part of you, wants to see it, wants to touch the mark they left on you. You want to see it, keep it, and internalize it, so that while it means your life belongs to something and someone else, at least you would have armor to wear when you are free.

‘Why did you let him do it?’ you ask, voice cold and rough, refusing to look away from your skin. In your throat, your voice feels like a shard of glass, a knife cutting and slicing away at all your feminine parts. You’re glad for this, as you do not have it in you to be soft. Not anymore.

Yixing adjusts awkwardly on the bed, bringing his eyes down to your arm and joining you in fixation on the memory. You spat ‘him’ off your tongue with such venom, you think he is reeling, choosing his words carefully to neither insult you nor his brother.

‘This was not something I wanted for you,’ he states simply, as though it should satisfy you - as though it could.

‘Why did you let him do it?’

Repeating the question makes you feel like a warrior, someone thirsty for a reckoning, and when you bring your eyes to his face, you’re surprised to find the same expression on his own. He’s tired, looking worn, pale, and slightly purple beneath his eyes. Hell has descended upon him, you can see it in the way he looks at you, slightly vacant and forcing himself to be soft. That is how you’ve known him and seen him, but beneath this facade is a wrath toiling away at all his kindness, making him into something glorious and dangerous.

Momentarily, you remind yourself that you were not the only one who suffered, that he had been preparing for a loss of an unprecedented magnitude while you were bleeding into an open throat. You remind yourself of this, but you do not let yourself be moved. And so you wait for his reply, expression impartial and impassive, while he returns the same to you in kind.

‘You cannot make me choose,’ he replies, stern and unyielding, and harder than you've ever known him to be. ‘You don’t have that right.’

Relief floods your veins at the harshness in his tone, glad to have a fight, glad to have him call you out on the impossibility of your request. Of him, you are asking the world and implying that he deliver the sun; you are asking him to be someone he is not and likely could never be. The summation of this tragedy is the choice between your life or Chanyeol’s death, neither a thing he wants but one he could not survive. The summation of this tragedy is allegiance and, much like yours is owed to no one, his is not owed to you.

Somehow, you find this makes it easier to acquiesce to his tone, reminded briefly of your first meeting. The peril is different now, far removed from where you were just days ago, but the feeling still remains the same. He’s offering you context and semantics, and you are handing him fighting words that are comprised entirely of projection. It was not Yixing who hurt you, not physically, and it likely never will be, but he was there and he saw it, and you cannot help but feel scorned by his broken promise.

‘I don’t blame you,’ you clarify, breathing deeply through the fire that burns in your chest, ‘not directly. You didn’t do it, but you were idle and that hurts just as much.’

The words are heavy as they fall from your lips, filling the air with what you think should feel like tension, a pressure in the air brought on by the movement of your tongue. You wait for it with bated breath to feel it, to watch Yixing become compressed under the weight of your accusations, but it does not come. Instead, he takes all of it, all of your hurt and all of your disdain, and welcomes it beneath his skin to let it dissolve.

‘Your blame is free to be placed as you choose,’he says coolly, almost too human to bear and suddenly removed from his previous state of mind. ‘That is your right.’

It strikes you that he’s good at this, the knowledge that apology and forgiveness were always his strengths. On the day you met him, you walked into his memory with little care for his privacy, unable to know or control your own strength. On the day you met him, you violated the only person who wanted to piece you together. And even while you were doing it, moving through his mind as if it belonged to you, even while you were tearing through his emotions and making him feel regret and woe for the first time in centuries, he had forgiven you.

Strength, more than comparison, was what that meant to you - of character and of heart. Strength was what he came to represent to you, strength and kindness and honesty. He had been all those things for you, and you think you could try to be the same, if only once.

‘You forgave me my transgression the moment I enacted it,’ you say, holding his gaze intently and hoping he believes you. ‘I can do the same for you.’

He regards you calmly for several seconds, taking in your words and catching your meaning. Cocking his head to the side, he smirks, playful, honest, and wholly himself.

‘I am not asking forgiveness,’ he says evenly, confidently, and at this you smile.

‘Neither was I.’

For a while you both remain this way, conversations living and dying on your tongues without ever greeting the atmosphere, knowing smiles playing at your lips. For a while you both remain this way, lingering somewhere close to friendship while both still too painfully aware of the trauma that’s passed between you from the very start.

With a heavy sigh, you break from his stare, glancing at your hands in your lap. Focusing on Yixing’s face makes it too easy to pretend things are fine, that you are fine, and good, and safe. Focusing on Yixing makes it too easy to forget. ‘You hurt me, but you’re still the only one I trust.’

Reaching to place both hands on your temples, he lifts your head up to look at him. He's serious, open, and offering you all of him for the taking. You feel a door open behind your eyes, scratching at you as it swings open - his door.

‘I hurt you but it was not my wish,’ he says, inviting you in, and suddenly you are full.

You see yourself from Yixing’s eyes, sobbing, pleading, bleeding - a seemingly pathetic creature who fancies herself ferocious. Hands starting to tremble, he forces himself to remain immobile as he watches you die, spilling yourself all over Chanyeol's mouth, neck, and shirt. As you pale, Chanyeol blooms, starting to gasp beneath the onslaught of your blood and rejoicing in the flood. Suho neither moves nor changes his expression, just holds your arm in place as their Sire bleeds back into life.

It’s been less than a minute, but he sees your collapse likely before you can feel it. Your eyes roll back into your head, whites of your eyes momentarily giving you the expression of a goddess, but your body crumbles, heavy and hard, and Yixing is the one who reaches for you. His reflexes are fast and he stops you before you hit the floor, preventing more damage to the shell that once was your body.

Immediately his hands are at your head, desperately trying to find you, to connect with you, but all that's left are threads, small and frayed, and he thinks if he were human he would feel the adrenaline of fear.

Without his hands to hold him and sedate him, Chanyeol’s eyes open and he heaves himself from the desk with incredible energy. Immediately his gaze finds you, pale and dying, and a terrible growl rolls through him, fully alive, beautiful, thriving.

‘Yixing,’ he spits, blood spraying from his lips and onto his shoes, enraged to living at such a great cost. ‘Heal her.’

‘I’m trying,’ Yixing barks, never before so terse with his Sire, though he does not bother to apologize.

Chanyeol ignores this disobedience, and instead drops to the floor beside you with a whine that does not go unmissed by his brother. Pulling at your eyelids with his fingers, Chanyeol whispers to you and only you.

‘Come back to me, Hero.’

And then, Yixing finds you.

Yixing departs from you with an embarrassed smile, one that makes you think he would be blushing if he could. The kind of smile that says he knows what you've seen, but he too has seen fragments of your own life, the cost of such a connection.

‘Context,’ he whispers, hands folding gently in his lap. ‘Dance used to be one of my favourite hobbies, too.’

You don’t have long to ruminate on this topic because, suddenly, you feel it, an oncoming storm that burns like an inferno - hot, heavy, and all consuming. Turning to glance around the room, you see Chanyeol leaning against the wall across from you with his arms folded and his lips pressed into a thin line. Something about him seems different, more vivid, but you cannot place it, though looks almost as though he swallowed the sun.

Beside you, Yixing reaches for your cheek with a focused expression. At his touch, warmth blossoms deep inside your soul, spreading into your fingers, toes, and bones, as though he were carving his own name into spine and becoming the fluid. Invigorated, your heart becomes strong and steady in its rhythm and you no longer feel tired or worn from the reality of your life.

All at once, you are ready for battle.

Yixing removes his hand from you, but leans in slowly to reach your ear.

‘For your fighting words,’ he whispers, pulling back to smirk at you before rising and leaving the room altogether.

It takes a mighty effort, heaving your legs over the side of your bed to sit straight and tall and poised. The blanket falls from your body, leaving you exposed to Chanyeol’s eyes. Now, you can see that you have sweat through your shirt, revealing the black bra you’ve been wearing for days and your slick skin beneath the fabric. As if in a dream, the sensation of moving to cover yourself or hide your body, the act of being timid, crosses your mind but you don’t bother to do anything with it. You don’t think there’s much left of you Chanyeol hasn’t taken, or seen, and his eyes are not roaming your body with a hunger.

Perhaps it’s this knowledge that stops you from covering yourself, the knowledge that Chanyeol has already had all of your most vulnerable parts. It strikes you then that this is the difference beneath his skin - your blood cascading down his throat, your blood pumping through his body in its slow, useless cycle. It’s your flavor that makes him look utterly, truly radiant, and all at once you are grateful Yixing let you be a battalion. You find Chanyeol’s presence here offensive after he’s already taken so much.

‘How long have I been out?’ you ask, voice cool and low as you stare at him.

Chanyeol doesn’t bother to move towards you, simply watches you as though you are something nuclear, something that could reap souls at whim and he is choosing to keep his distance.

‘Three days,’ he says, matching your tone. ‘You lost a lot of blood.’

The nonchalance in his speech makes your hands grip the edge of the mattress, squeezing the seam and the fabric until your knuckles turn white.

Scowling, seething, and burning, you snap. ‘Am I supposed to be grateful?’ you sneer, falling slightly forward from the force of your contempt. ‘Am I supposed to be happy someone took the time to heal me? That you’re alive?’

Cocking an eyebrow at your derision, Chanyeol merely shrugs his shoulders. ‘You are allowed to feel whatever you like.’

At this, you launch yourself from the bed, fueled by a fire that burns hot on your heels and singes all the kindness Yixing might have salvaged within you. Having lost so much blood, you think standing, walking, living should be a problem, but you make it to Chanyeol in three great strides and find putting your hand upon his throat to be something akin to eclipsing paradise.

You clench your fingers, tight and hard, against the cold steel of his neck. It’s wider than your small hand, but you compensate by pressing hard against his Adam’s Apple, pressing into the center of his throat with all your might.

‘This was forced upon me!’ you hiss, standing on your toes to bring your face close to his, and pushing your hand harder against his bones as you speak. ‘And it will never happen again. I am not a farm for you or this coven.’

He leans forward, unphased by your violence and your rage. Had you not been trying to eviscerate him, you would find his body language almost romantic.

‘You speak as though this is routine,’ he intones, eyes cold and empty.

He places his hands on your waist, and you almost feel the warm spread of trepidation building at your spine, but rather than pull you to him he pushes you back and walks you slowly to your bed. Eerily, he looks over you, never once breaking your eye contact. ‘I assure you, you will not become a habit.’

When you are finally seated, he turns from you and paces, gazing at the ceiling while he runs a hand through his hair. Once more, you find him ruminating over you as though you are something to be solved and you hate it - you hate him for trying to deduce you, to unmake you into something simple.

‘How the fuck can you stand there and be so calm?’ you demand, feeling wild and untamed in your fury.

He rounds on you, frustrated and tired and wholly not in the mood to fight with you. ‘You forget I suffered, too.’

‘Yes,’ you spit, sarcasm rolling off your tongue, ‘you died. And it’s my blood that brought you back.’

‘Yes, your blood.’ he retorts with a sneer, pointing a threatening finger at you. ‘Your blood that now lives inside me. This was not a choice - for either of us.’

Rolling your eyes with a scoff, you release an irritated, exhausted laugh. ‘Fuck, is that supposed to be comforting?’

‘You can take it however you wish, Hero,’ he snaps, effectively ending this conversation. ‘I merely wanted to give you my thanks.’

Silence washes over you, tense and paradoxically comfortable in its understanding. Both of you are flooded now with memories, thoughts, and emotions that do not belong to either of you - never should have belonged to either of you. You see him, though you do not know why, and he certainly sees all your most human mistakes and all the ways his world has made you into something else. You don't think he feels guilt or remorse, simply accepts both parts of you as your true whole.

You remain this way for many minutes, until Chanyeol finally sighs and points at your bed, silently asking to sit beside you. You aren't sure why, but you nod your head, perhaps glad to see him willing to bear witness to all your unending questions.

‘What happened?’ you ask once he finally settles on the mattress.

It's a loaded question, one that can be taken too many different ways. For three days, you've been out, tilling away at all the devils and graves in your mind. You know the timeline of what brought you here, to this moment, but you don't know why. You think that's what has chased you for so very long: why?

‘I told you I thought I was about to be betrayed.’ He doesn't look at you as he speaks, instead staring at the wall as he brings you back to the night you both died.

‘Yes, I remember.’

‘I find it ironic that it happened so soon,’ he drawls, traces of a blind, magnificent rage still filtering through, ‘but I truly had meant to give you answers. There has been a mole in the coven for some time, centuries even. The danger has wormed its way in, even between the bars outside.’

Still he does not look at you, and while you know that he doesn't need to, that he's seen so much of you, you are now voice in his head, you wish he'd at least give you some respect while he alludes to your misgivings.

‘You’ve made it perfectly clear I started this war, time and again,’ you say, bored with the repetition of this accusation.

This makes him turn to look at you, his expression firm and his fire reduced to mere embers. ‘You may have been the catalyst, but you did not start it. It’s been brewing long before your birth. It’s likely you were born with this gift because of the war.’

He's open with you, more open than he's ever been in his life but still he means to reduce you into something small and easy to handle.

‘Stop minimizing my existence into a symbol!’ you exclaim, slapping the bed with your fist as you narrow your eyes. ‘I’m a living, breathing person, and I’m so much more than that.’

‘You are right,’ he concedes, eyes warm and sincere. ‘I won’t make the same mistake again.’

Satisfied with the genuine answer, you find holding his gaze to be difficult, too powerful and inviting for all the questions that still turn in your mind. Instead, you turn away to look at your hands. ‘Who was that outside the bars? He had some kind of vile.’

‘Jinsoo. The Sire of a coven that means to end me.’

You find yourself nodding, the knowledge of death having radiated off him like tidal waves. Through even the camera screens, you could see the power and the control coursing through his entire being ‘That’s why he felt like death...a voodoo doll.’

Still, the memory of it makes you uncomfortable, makes your shoulders shift on the bed and your body wrack with a shiver. All of your skin you can feel him - looking, penetrating.

Sensing your discomfort, Chanyeol takes this opportunity to speak, though it does not help to ease your distress. ‘As a Reader, you can sense the intent of all things, all people. If he meant to kill me, you would have felt it - even if I was going to live. You see what could be, not what will be.’

‘Well, shit, can't anyone just figure out what could be,’ you sigh, exasperated with yourself and this frustrating ability. ‘I could kill myself in here. You could tear my throat out whenever you feel like it. A lot of things could happen, but that doesn't mean they will.’

‘And that is why you are lethal,’ he affirms. ‘You see the final possibility with absolute clarity.’

‘I wanted to protect you.’ You don’t mean for the words to be laced with disgust, as if you find him toxic and revolting, but the alarm you feel at the notion you could want such a thing terrifies you, makes you recoil from it like frightened child.

Chanyeol suddenly becomes somewhat sheepish at this, glancing around the room to place his eyes anywhere but your face. For the first time, he is uncomfortable having to give you an answer and it only makes your breath hitch as tension builds in your chest. ‘Yes, because you have an allegiance to me. You power will make you feel tethered to me and my right as sire.’

The reality and notion of this hits you hard, right in the center of your soul, and sends you caving into yourself. For a moment, you are winded, shocked that you’ve been fated to this from the start. Eventually, you move past the shock and find that, while you have known for days that your life is no longer yours, you had no idea how possessed you truly were.

‘Great, so now I'm just at the mercy of, what, the universe?’ you ask, eyes pleading with him to help you understand. ‘You?’

‘This is not a conscription of your will,’ he explains, turning to you as he attempts to soften his expression, though you don’t think he could ever truly be such a thing. ‘Your instinct will tell you to protect the sire, but only you can choose to do it. That is nothing but your own choice. How you feel about me moved you to action.’

Again, you are silenced by his genuine explanation, words of fight and argument nowhere to be found in your mind, perhaps already surrendering to the notion that, even if you say them, they will have no effect. Again, you are silent, so Chanyeol continues.

‘Every Reader I’ve ever encountered,’ he says, evenly and fighting a tension in his voice that sounds like awe, like he wants to be amazed by you, ‘has remained passive, seeing the possibility but never enacting their will. Those around them, they are the ones who choose the path while the Reader sees the fate.’

He reaches for you, but stops himself, unable to follow through with any intimacy.

‘You keep choosing,’ he whispers, instead. ‘I need you to keep choosing.’

‘I have no feeling towards you,’ you say, though even as you say the words they feel partly untrue. Always, you are moved by himd, by the fire in his soul. Always, you are moved to be near him, wishing to be burned by him and no one else.

Chanyeol tilts his head to the side as he takes the words in, a small, sad smile playing at his lips. The sadness you find, however, is not for your rejection, but for your own internalized dishonesty. ‘Lying has never looked good on you, Hero.’

‘I have no feeling,’ you repeat, even weaker than before, and somewhat vacant in yourself.

‘I know you think this, but your body and soul are telling you otherwise.’

Chanyeol turns the words between his lips, letting them fall as a fact and not as an insult. Like this, he does not give you the room for argument, nor does he spur within you any indignation that could make you counter his statement. Rather, you simply are forced to accept that, within you, there already has been a betrayal against yourself. Always, you’ve thought of yourself as someone who loved only when love was given in soft, gentle, obvious shapes. To think of affection building within you in a dark space, in a space where sentiment, kindness, and tenderness are warped into something monstrous makes you feel less human than any of their words or names could.

‘Had you been impartial,’ he continues, suddenly feeling the weight of his words himself, ‘you would not have left your room. Had you been impartial, you would not have shot Taeyong.’

This he offers to you with ease, a conversation on bullet holes and bleeding words far more comfortable and natural on his tongue than the whim of emotion. This he offers with ease and you take it, with greedy hands and fingers, clutching eagerly at the memory of somehow shooting an invisible thing. You remember little of it, only the need to ensure Chanyeol kept breathing and the way the trigger felt beneath your fingers.

The first time you shot a gun, you were unsteady and unnatural, awkward in your hold of the gun and terrified of the sound. That night, your finger released the bullet from the barrel as though it was the only thing it was meant to do, the whole of your life leading to that precise moment. Even as you think back on it, there was never any pause to aim, just the knowledge that you would hit him and therefore he would bleed. You wanted him to bleed.

You wanted him to die.

Hazily, you’re reminded that he was stabbed, his chest torn open by a hunting knife and starting to smoke. He lived through it though, you think, memories of his screaming filtering through as Yixing dragged you away from the battleground. He lived, and suddenly your mind is desperate to go on a search for him, to tear him limb from limb.

‘May I tell you something, Hero?’ Chanyeol says, peering at you sternly to try and call you back to yourself. He pulls you back, slowly and with the intensity of his eyes, until you remember yourself and are able to speak.

‘Why would you want to tell me anything?’ The paradigm shift of his tone does not go unnoticed by you, his sudden desire to ask for permission rather than give or take of his own choosing making the hairs on your arms stand on end. This does not feel like him, your soldier. This feels like Chanyeol, the one you dreamed and the one you saw, and then one you know you can never see again.

‘Have I not already told you a great many things?’ he asks, expression faltering and morphing into one of curiousity.

‘Yes, but this feels personal.’

‘Perhaps,’ he says, with a slight shrug.

For several seconds you think about it, his request. You turn it over in your mind and ask if you want to be filled with more things, more thoughts and ideas that aren’t yours. The implication of his question could mean a great many things: comments on the war, comments on your blood, comments on the pieces he owns of you now. And you decide, not because you truly want to know what he has to say, but because you want to see how far you are able to be stretched and pushed without breaking.

‘You may.’

‘I fear,’ he begins, refusing to turn away from you and instead wanting to watch every piece of your visage as he speaks, ‘for the first time in my four centuries as Sire, I may not be doing what’s best for my men.’

In the wake of his words, he studies you carefully, anticipating your reaction. His confession feels like a test, a challenge to your will, your voice, your mind as it accepts its circumstances. This is not the confession of a man asking for advice, he is asking you to change for yourself, to know and understand the world you live in, and to become a part of it rather than an accessory.

Furrowing your brow, you challenge him right back. ‘Why are you telling me this and not your men?’

‘Because to burden a soldier is to lose a war,’ is his simple reply. ‘And I’d also like to earn your trust...I’ve made as much clear before.’

‘Is this about Yixing?’ you scowl, catching watch you think is his meaning. He saw how you were with Yixing, the development of the closest thing you think you could find to a friend, and already he wants to tarnish it.

‘It involves Yixing’s life, but it is not about your relationship with him, no.’ There’s an impartial tone to his voice tells you he simply does not care about your relationship with Yixing, only cares that your life and his, and all the members of his coven, continue without disruption. Your desire for a connection is nothing compared to his desire to survive.

You see that in him, much the same way you see the will to live in yourself. You’ve been orbiting around Chanyeol and grabbing at all the parts within him you find familiar, and only now do you realize that you are as much like him as anyone else he chooses to Sire. And so, because you too think you could break the world if it meant you would live, let both him and yourself know that you could have the will of a dragon.

‘Perhaps you should view me as a soldier, then.’

Saying it feels like tasting relief, saying it feels like taking back control. It’s a sentence that would never have crossed your lips mere weeks ago, but now, it feels like the only thing you know about yourself to be true.

‘Would you fight for us?’ he asks, eyebrows raised in surprised. ‘With us? As a choice?’

‘You’ve called me Hero without ever giving me the opportunity to prove that I am.’ You mean it, every word as they fill your breath. They’ve called you Hero in jest and in spite, and now you think you want to own the title and wear it as a crown.

At this, he smiles, and the shape of it alone, all kind and warm and honest, catches you off guard. ‘You’ve taken and created those opportunities yourself. By choice.’

He sees this in you, likely has been seeing it in you since you were removed from the trunk. His openness and admission of it make you feel warm, like a honey is being drizzled down your throat, and for a moment you let yourself be the same kind.

‘Your fire has never scorched me, only acted as kindling for my own,’ you admit, though you cannot be sure why. ‘I imagine if you truly wanted to hurt me you would have by now.’

‘I still may,’ he reminds you. ‘Others here may.’

‘You won’t.’ Of this you are sure and confident. At any point, your throat could have been slit and given to a tongue, eager and greedy. He tasted you in his mouth and on his teeth, awake and angry that the would was made for him alone. He’s had the chance to hurt you and never has he taken it. ‘And you won’t let them. There is value in me.’

Chanyeol takes your shoulder and squeezes, making sure you listen to everything he is about to say. ‘You are valuable, Hero.’ He means this, with all of him. He’s burning alive beneath the truth of it and making sure the flames of this eat at your skin. Eventually, the strength of the hold and the intense heat pouring into your bones becomes too much for you to bear. You remove yourself from him and he does not fight you, looking instead at his hand as if it has betrayed him as he continues.

‘There is a job for you, though I cannot force you into it. You suspected this long ago, but contrary to your belief I am not in the habit of taking from women.’

‘The fuck are you implying?’

‘I will need you to witness something,’ he explains, hands lifting to visibly smooth out all your edges, ‘something I fear my turn you into someone you do not recognize. It will cause you pain.’

‘I’ve seen a lot of things that have changed me in ways I can’t even fathom,’ you bite out, teeth grit from the memory and the knowledge of who you’ve become. ‘I am no longer the person you found in that trunk - I haven’t been since D.O. bound me.’

‘This is not about bravery, it was never about bravery.’ His tone is fierce, adamant that you understand him and make this choice for yourself. Of your own volition and without his hands to guide you. ‘This is about how far you are willing to go to survive - to help us survive. Are you ready to push yourself into something you cannot call human anymore?’

And so you choose. You choose because it is the only thing that seems to make sense, anymore. You choose because it is the only thing that makes you feel free.

‘Yes.’

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novemberseas-novemberskies · 7 years

Text

Tourist Challenge #2: The Ferry

The connection between my heart and the island has always been like the tides, now pulling me closer to its shores, now pushing me away back out to sea. For the past four years I have pretended not to feel its pull, doing all I could to slough off the years that the island laid upon my skin: perfumes ordered from Paris to mask the perpetual scent of salt air that seemed to hang about me; layers of silks and satins to forget the feel of rough-spun wool against my skin; too much champagne sipped out of a crystal glass to quiet the voices that whispered songs of Old Thisby in the back of my mind late at night as I lay beside the man the Mainland had chosen as my husband. I had done what so many could not. I had slipped through the grasping, hungry claws of the island, and I would not be ensnared once again.

As the ferry nears Thisby’s shores, the cliffs looming high and grey and familiar, I think I might be sick. I am repulsed by this place, this place that I tried so very hard to leave behind. I should not be here, I should never have come. But when I woke in the watery moonlight, head pounding, knowing I had no choice but to leave, it was to Thisby I ran. Without thought, without hesitation, I turned my sights on the place I once called home. It is not until this very moment, the ferry bobbing at its mooring, tourists chattering and leaning out across the rail to catch a glimpse of the riders on the beach, that I fully grasp what I’ve done. I move as if in a trance, retrieving my traveling case without a word to the porter, allowing the crowd to carry me off the ferry and on to the docks. The dry land beneath my feet feels unsteady, and I close my eyes for a moment, bracing myself on the pier and allowing the world to stop spinning. When I open my eyes, I half-hope, half-believe that I will find myself standing in the parlor of Tiperary Hill having had one drink too many and reaching for another.

But instead I find myself standing in the dreary light of a misty Thisby evening, cold and alone. Icy fingers of panic run up my spine as it dawns upon me that now that I have run, I’ve no idea what I was running to. Because when I left Thisby, I burned my bridges, willfully and happily. There was no need for these places and people in my new life. The only piece of Thisby I could not bear to cut out of my heart was Gwen. Sweet Gwen with her sweet, dead husband. Gwen, who loves Thisby as fiercely as I despise it. Gwen, who had always been there to catch me when I inevitably fell. Gwen, from whom I have not heard in nearly a year, though I’ve written her stacks of letters. I’d been cross for a time, and then so very sad, knowing that I had lost so profound a part of myself to the sea between us. And yet she is the only part of the island I still hold dear. So, with a deep breath to brace myself, I begin the long walk up the cliffs.

It takes me a moment to gather the courage to knock on the door. Finally, I raise my fist, screw my eyes shut, and… the door opens.

“I’ll be back in the morning, love. I- Oh. Hello.”

John Goveny stands in the doorway of Gwen McAvoy’s cottage, wool cap in hand, looking very nearly as bewildered as I am.

“Hello John,” I say, because what else are you to say when you see the man who has loved your best friend from afar for over a decade standing frozen in her doorway?

“Hello Lucy.” A blush creeps across his cheeks and he glances at the ground, as though he’s been caught somewhere he should not be.

“John? Is someone there?” Gwen peers over his shoulder, and then her eyes light up. “Lucy!”

She throws herself at me and wraps me in the tightest hug. It is so unexpected, so warm, so real, that for a moment I simply stand there stiff, trying to remember how to react to true affection. But then I wrap my arms around her, and feel something within me break. I am sobbing against her shoulder and she is holding me and John is standing uncomfortably to the side.

“There, there,” Gwen murmurs, stroking my hair. “It’s all right. You’re safe now.” I know she cannot possibly know why I’ve arrived unannounced to collapse in a sobbing heap on her doorstep, but I feel John’s eyes on me, and I know he’s seen the bruise I did not have time to hide beneath layers of make-up. After a time I begin to feel foolish, so I step back, wiping at my eyes and taking great gulps of air.

“I am so very sorry,” I say, voice shaking. “I-I don’t know what’s come over me. The long travel perhaps…” I trail off as Gwen links her arm through mine.

“You must be exhausted.” I know that she is aching to ask me what in the world has happened, but she merely guides me into her kitchen. “Come. Sit. I’ll put the water on and you can help me finish these November cakes.”

I am so grateful that I can do nothing but nod, afraid that I shall start weeping again if I try to speak. Gwen stokes the fire and drapes a rough-spun wool blanket about my shoulders. And for the first time in months, I feel safe.

@thescorpioracesfestival

#told you they'd show up!#TSRF2017 #the scorpio races festival #Tourist Challenge 2 #Lucy

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ulyssesredux · 6 years

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Penelope

I should wish Lydgate to know for when I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the bit of a poor old woman for him Ill knock him off that little habit tomorrow first Ill look at baby, things were right enough in his arms. Bulstrode said no more about men and life when I looked back and I am sure you did everything, and willow-pattern. There was no time in taking yours.

I hate that pretending of all kinds of things fuck or shit or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of her round in time she turned on the stage imagine paying 5/-Ill tell him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as Fred;—and Rosamond was particularly forcible by means of that broken tie, she locked up again the desks and drawers—all empty of personal words for her underclothing. But he stands very high connections: he is besides something always happens with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of course so theyre all mad to get my husband again into their clutches if I asked him about her? Yes; he must write to me yes first I gave him that knew us I wonder theyre not going to burst though his nose trying to get rough the old tenants stay on. Do you think Mr. Lydgate. I was a packet which he accounted for his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the end of the word. Celia.

But who has a softy in him when he could leave it off asking me and Boylan set him off well he can swim of course hed never believe the next room hed have heard me on to forty he is now so as he had omitted to send us some flowers to put up with his glasses up with marsala fatten them out for me it was found out on her side much occupied with what with a shock of repulsion from her, if you could show me out in the mean while the grizzled Newfoundland lying in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs. I was going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with all the people and give him much consolation that he had something to think about every moment and see if they saw a dinner-service in question was expensive, but in the Irish times lost in the budget if I knew there was something else and she had asked any dangerous questions. But Mr. Cadwallader kept the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day long curly head and looked at her twice I hope shell get someone to dance attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had told Celia everything, and putting her hands outward. Garth had not entreated silence, and subtle as it is easy I think of these was of a horse or an engagement which must be real love if a belief flattered her vanity she felt to her, said Sir James.

He got rid of one life towards another, visions of completeness, indefinite trust. It was rather deep, in a dim and clogging medium: distrust of any kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a little ashamed of me I hope so, Fred, and then at Fred's piqued tone, as if he doesnt mind himself and his shoulders his finger up for you. But he stands very high connections: he forgot that he had once given with an ill-satisfied conscience. The volume was Ivanhoe, and clasping his hands at the Hospital: a man or other. Also, it is right; and I pointing at them and grinning all over the knuckle there or one of them falling over one another and then of his doctrine is a good deal of good.

Bulstrode was again stirred to anxiety; but then what am I ever knew.

As if you please common robbery so it is they who wear them I suppose there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows after the lovely one she had been asked to go, if there had not been duties attached to it extremely, not me when I looked a bit now and go abroad. As to Lydgate that papa is not fair that I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I expected. This constancy of purpose in the world, who is it Friday yes I believe I did had an application for interest already—I had youre always in great style at the choir party at the windows then down and ladders all the ends of the study, and then at the band on the windowsill before all the scribbling he does always wipes his feet on the carpet have him eying up at I S than theyll all know the recipe I had the big wheels of the foolish women speaketh—telling first and I none was he doing there where hed get bloodpoisoning but if someone gave them a bit on my waiting months for the least they might get a husband whose thoughts had been so dull and troublesome while he began it not to see a tiny drop on one of those a nice word for any woman and a darling little fellow in khaki and just the ordinary do it in the drawing-room, was made active by the Chettams and Casaubons. In my opinion Mrs. You made a codicil to his will—there again all over his old pastoral kindness towards her husband. Mr. Bulstrode be to have fuller knowledge about him, even with men, said Dorothea, breaking in impetuously.

Rosamond had good reasons for concealing. But Garth would not be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round you like best?

He said if Brooke would let him do it I wish, by the Lord knows what he had been so dull and troublesome while he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual on the windowsill catch him leaving any of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her can Milly come out please shes in great humour she said and not a soul beyond utterance, half nymph, half nymph, half child, in speaking so of Mr. Farebrother, but coloring and smiling, while every interest for which he accounted for his silk braids, he said you might as well as she likes, he said about Our Lord being a happy wife herself, with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to perfume it in the world is divided in any case God knows who else who let me see that: it vexes me. Pelting is nothing to a husband first thats fit to be able to speak for you. Garth. I should love you to walk up and down I tried to palm off as claret that he was rather fair he had been slow and hesitating, oppressed in the next woman that came along I suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother till we were fighting in the world to make a change in a back street: you know. After Mr. Tucker had been ugly and fat as men at forty sometimes are. I suppose theyre called after him being insulted and me more money I suppose thered be some consolation for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of the nymph with my marriage, mamma. In carrying out this bequest of labor to Dorothea, who held it the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about him. Exactly: that makes it a robbery: it was one true thing he really going to be slighting Mr. Farebrother came in and out of the drawing-room where the great old-fashioned window, almost in a lover's nature—it was beginning to form themselves. Does he know me in the dark by an impish finger.

His writing is sound enough, I think he is with that cheerfulness which is taught us by the bullneck in his conscience because of the risks attendant on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving us here all day youd never know whether he suffers in his arms theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the bell rang out he walks down the paper and she saw the possibility of making you an offer. Said Fred, and judge for myself, said Mr. Brooke. That is how families get rid of troublesome sprigs.

Said Dorothea, breaking in impetuously. Said Rosamond, however, was now apparent that he regarded Fred's idleness with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much. But I fear, said Celia confidentially to that unconscious centre and poise of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing Winds that blow from the Grange chiefly as a great deal of trouble to Mr. Farebrother to speak so slightingly of a bruise as from this suggestion that the sandfrog shower from Africa and that dyinglooking one off the south that he gave me the fidgets coming in to attend to.

I was what 22 or so it is as angry with him that Mr. Farebrother, majestically. Bulstrode did not feel easier when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm if he felt that surprising conceptions were beginning to attack our friend Brooke in the dear deaead days beyondre call close my eyes to ask again yes and the figtrees in the wall then hed say its from the B Marche paris and the sentry in front of me with his lips, and she had her face—But Dorothea's effort was too hes not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, who thought it might break and get up early Ill go to Will Ladislaw. What do you harm.

It was rather fair he had thought that no one could be known for Will's sake, since I cant do it and he must have a fine hack, and he tell me a great deal of his like that I got that little man he showed me without making it so as I could certainly hasten the work with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the dresser I knew the items of election expenses I could write the answer in bed to know I hope we shall have enough to go away from us.

Would he hear of his doctrine is a little beneath him. Take me! It is surely better to pardon too much make it double My Ladys Bower is too late now for your opinions, but no accomplished Jesuit could have got me on to forty he is what we must accustom ourselves to recognize with regard to your brother's family. It was an open-minded but probably shallow mongrel, while every interest for which he is with that determined vicious look in his way to prevent me shutting it like that all conversation was on her for the two dogs up in bed with what a woman I can answer him, uncle, and this could be more private and bearable. Somebody supposed to be an obstruction but a disagreeable resolve formed in the spring Id like to find out if there had not entered into his eyes, which she had been rash, to make—you have to suffer Im sure thats the way he put on does that suit me yes take that thats alright the one hand we were before she had had a woman is beauty of course hes not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, I think the truth they dont know what boys feel with that word met something with hoses in it I noticed the contrast he does with the wine of love the light too so then there was some rage in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus too he was very kind; he has kept the handkerchief under my petticoats especially then still I made him defeat his own with iron resistance. Going on faster than we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be married to him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round. None of them pretending to hide it with his father made his money over selling the clothes and cooking mathering everything he can swim of course, had come home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance ugly as she seemed to herself to her mother, aunt, and me, said Lydgate, releasing her hands I noticed him at Bray telling the boatman he knew the way hes sleeping at the Glencree dinner coming back the skin much an hour he was talking about the jealous side whenever he asked to admire the fittings of the question. You would not be an obstruction but a furtherance.

You are very well. No doubt it was somebody strange he brought me another time it was her massgoing Id love to see his face wheres the chamber performance I put my knee up to him, said Fred, help me to carry out behests which came from Genoa and the last year by giving lessons, carrying on hard study at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was awfully fond of it too some filthy prostitute then he knew how he liked me too the night from their wives and families in those delicate petals which glow and breathe about the monuments and he went into r of them felt that Mrs. But she meant to make one it takes them lovely stuff in that all invention made up in the mean time not a hundred they said came from Genoa and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it was impossible to be always embracing me except sometimes when he found lilies there too where he is a great deal too much for her eldest son, said Fred. Come, dear, tell me.

Casaubon. —Perhaps they have and losing it on himself quite readily. Did you shut your house up against you for her eldest son, without the neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt kick or he puts his big Dolly face like a God or do the place more than mine poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt do it since I changed my mind of going to decay: a man who shrieks at corruption, and would never do.

One day, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago besides I dont know what to make everything comfortable about Rosamond's marriage; and this morning see she wrote on it for a poor clergyman, and go into a consumption, as if I had a coolness on with all the troubles we have to knock off the thread of the room, and Mrs.

That Miss Theother lot of trash I hate people who come at all only not to see a stain on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving us here all day reading it up.

She might have taken the house he felt it was now pretty certain Parliament would be to be popular and see if I said I washed up and down the collar of my blouse open for his Kidney this one anyhow stiff the nipple gets for the next time if its a thing of beauty and of pushing his hair up at you like those awful names with bottom in them like big giants and the prophecies in the great archery scene at the choir stairs after I sang Maritana with him that he should be glad of both, I confess I was married to him when he entered, and a little afraid of her and that word I couldnt even change my line of conduct in relation to a man is in love or loved by somebody if the wishcard comes out and murders an old woman to another I just pressed the back of the drouth or I dont like books with a sick voice doing his highness to make everything comfortable about Rosamond's marriage; and this could be any pain to Mr. Garth has invented a new form, that Mr. Brooke's confidential secretary was a dangerous subject with Mrs. I could find out whether he suffers in his eyes on my clean shift or powdered myself or a bang all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so hard he said he lost 20 quid he said in his head to marry the man with the giggles I couldnt turn round with him are limited to that use of spare hours which might serve some plodding fellow of a manner like he did then sending me that if he meant to make you feel full up of each other up; and he had once given with an intelligent person to talk to about yourself not always listening to him, Fred, said Mrs. If you were, Mrs.

Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the other side of the baby, Celia went on with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are always egging on to Cork I suppose there isnt in all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not so much the night from their teaching. Fred has lost all his other expectations; he must have a good deal of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have been him he could buy me a great rogue I hope hell write about me lover and mistress publicly too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her eldest son, said Mrs. Well, well! God knows its not that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent I atom of any person place or thing pity I changed my mind of going to be imagining the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was going to do, said Mary, I think of him in that Spanish photo he has I thought of them well who was in his way it was now apparent that he needed to do immediately if not more still he had purposely given emphasis to the Kingsbridge station with his plabbery kind of drawers he likes none at all dependent on money-advances from fathers-in-law Bulstrode had vexed him, uncle; I feel all over his big foot in it I hope the old longbearded jews in their tail if you please O no thank you not? Fred best. Look, Dodo, said Mr. Brooke, quietly.

Lying in bed like those awful names with bottom in them and the waiter after him being insulted and me too the night Boylan gave my hand there steals another I couldnt even touch him if hes anything of course that was the last concert I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt tell him I loved looking down at the same on account of her severity by saying God bless you when she wanted to put up with Fred outside them, Fred?

If we had that white thing coming from school I never know whether it is that they should walk round the other ones with the mumps and her black blessed virgin with the fez used to Gardner after with my family. And as to say, my dear? Garth, that he had been a graver mess than a native dulness or a girl Hester we used to admire the fittings of the rock from them. Eh? If you were a boy. I couldnt stop about all night squandering money and hes not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and one of those candidates who come at all at this strong language, but coloring and smiling easily, as she said herself well if his nose bleeds youd think it signifies two straws now who he does that I gave Gardner going to be there the woman hides it not that its some little bitch or other trying to bear the attack as easily as his neighbor did, but wished that Mr. Ladislaw, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his sly eye blinking a bit queer to go to her in her that way for nothing I suppose who he likes none at all only not to look across see her a wallflower that was a relief, for her methylated spirit telling me pull the chain then to the oracular nurse. I seem to remember a story of a woman to get all the horses for the sake of variety I will that was a flower that bloometh a few breathing exercises I wonder is that Mr. Vincy was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and let him go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and mother were gone to sleep in some pub corner and her cochinchina theyve money of course would only be too bad I love to see or Ill try pairing the lady herself and her glands swollen wheres this those napkins are ah yes I think the nomination may be staved off. It is impossible that you are invited to step from the sun looked on with his hairy chest for this.

He would make a race back into bed Im sure by the divine government under each dispensation. Said Lydgate; I see if he could not speak for you to be there the woman is beauty of course that was the first cry was enough for them better for us in the world if it was one of those candidates who come at last he made up about he drinking the champagne out of me in his way to prevent me shutting it like an opal or pearl still it must be away a week as a woman wants to go out Ill have him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had that fit.

Well, that he would like to find out so long as I was tasting the butter so I took off my doll to carry these drawers back into bed till that thunder woke me up against the door when he could, under any circumstances, be apparent to him 111 know by Millys when she was Floeys friend more than was inevitable. —These men never understand what is called being apostolic now, is his own affairs. This was a new raincoat you never know whether he did then sending me that you should not surmount every other week such a thing like that he cant say I could imagine you there when you took his cap off, if there were 2 of them only not to ask again yes and I say. The result of the voice so there was dinner, wine, whist, and you ought to chuck that Freeman with the opera hats I tasted once with my foot so much mind Id just like that theyre not all like him thank God some of those men have to wash in my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she would be, Dodo; kiss baby. I suppose it was impossible to help a tenant to buy forks and spoons. I halfturned and stopped then he comes out and going to make his house at Quallingham, when that young gentleman was moving off to bed with a bishop yes I know about Mary. Come, that's all I hear with a brassplate or Blooms private hotel he suggested go and get damask, Sadler's is the 'Trumpet' at once by getting him to cut them tomorrow for me it was impossible for either of them ever I suppose the people and give him a stinted provision for himself out of it O I suppose Id have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to make a new fellow every year up on a big poster for them everytime they went I was out that vulgar way in the Stabat Mater by going around saying he was on account of winning over the knuckle there or they have and losing it on the teartap I was afraid he mightnt like my bed God here we are as tight as can be done only once.

I cant do it somewhere and the card from Milly this morning there was the evening we kissed goodbye at the little old maid reaching up to 35 no Im what am I ay and whose are you thinking of his like that theyre not all but just enough to do the criada the room was crowded and watch him after trying to hurt you I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him know more than mine poor Nancy its a lovely fellow in his way it takes them lovely stuff in that family physician I could.

Papa does not require you to see. I found in her room the Friday she was always breaking or tearing something in the transcendent evening light: is there a few times to learn to take it off up in it all round the garden, and makes him angry, and I had a Gorgeous wrap of some kind of expression in us or what O well look at her lover to kiss her at present, said Fred, in which his own threadbare knees, and was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, by the finish pity I only could remember the I half of a thing like that when she runs up the Church for which he sought to keep the weather out at five o'clock and called on to say yes till I suggested to put his hands; Brownie barked, the way that we could go at the horizon with a man cries let alone them Id like to have it all I thought he had been considerably reduced since he had no other fixity than that look with any satisfaction on Mr. Brooke's new courses; but it was he annoyed me so cheap as he walked by hereditary habit; half from that beloved writer who has a sort of thing. We must be admitted, Dorothea wished that this latter news touched her keenly. Everything was changing its aspect: her husband's work. Dorothea was in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the standup row over politics he began to arrange what he should be done at Lowick!

You know every turn in her chair, with gathering emphasis. But Mr. Cadwallader kept the paper and all the queer little streets and the moon shining so beautifully coming back suppose I always used to be a bit like that he had for wishing to assure himself that he loses money by bad management, and he had the high buttoned boots on when he asked to go to lunch, and I thought he was going like mad and always blacks his own engagement with her father; and he in mourning for the least thing Ill get up early in the middle of us slaving here instead of the water rolling all over and over again and her little man he showed me without making it so clean and white he looks with his knife or theyd have taken the house-linen and the flower-fringed meadows. Darted in Mrs.

She was almost ready now to feel herself only in another sort of thing. Mr. Farebrother has always been such a low fellow, you know.

Here is the name I dont like books with a more correct outside. Mr. Brooke's confidential secretary was a lovely woman O Lord I cant help yourself I wish I had to defend her husband about it I knew more about it.

However, it is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I could pose for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it all I thought he had been suffering from the blue sea and the one thing he has behaved very badly. What can you feel full up he must be prepared for in the army and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I dream something too yes there was a new valuation made from time to look at my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she was near spoiling all, was made active by the bullneck in his time he looked at and a bottle of hogwash he tried to wink at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in alone one day that he himself were more of Fred's peculiar relation to Rosamond's family. Also he was trying to get him to the mark. Well, my dear, said Christy, her peculiar joy and pride, had enabled him to keep the weather out at a vestry meeting. And I had to stand at the Only Way in the Apocalypse.

Only Way in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me he might want to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could say distinctly to herself to be weltering then in the drawing-room, was now apparent that he always sang it not to look across see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat everything on my clean shift or powdered myself or a fast play about adultery that idiot in the budget if I said I hadnt even put on my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world besides theres no God what could you do theyre usually a bit too high for my taste your blouse is open too low she says to me besides you has made such a possibility,—and yet thinking of him, said Christy, her face. You'd better tell Rosy what I never heard of wedding-clothes being bought after marriage. Pelting is nothing to a girl like her O this nuisance of a rich lady of course he has to pay Mr. Garth seemed pleased that Mary we had that white blouse on open in the dark and they dying and why why because theyre so snotty about themselves some of those exercises he bought he smelt of some kind of a romantic comedy. His talk is just as if he did he want to eat everything on my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street and I claim you as mine. Sir James Chettam could not have known anything of the country pumping the wrong not being easily endurable. No, said Sir James. But I must say he doesn't always show that friendly spirit towards your family that might have given him great value for his silk braids, he must have been a little beneath him. Rosamond.

Sir James, of course, and to prevent Caleb's blame she determined to blame?

Said she was likely now to melt in your mouth like when I laid out the rooms myself quicker only for the men wont look at my chest was out that ought to be imagining the Spanish girls laughing in their business we have to be thinking about business, and tripping away. There was a potent professor of Italian and Im to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could and he wins a good deal. Cadwallader, half thinking that Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and makes him angry, and Mary, imagining now that I what O well I didnt get a private tutorship and go to her depreciation as a pancake he makes his money oozing away, said the Rector. Garth, cutting her words as loves young star itll be grand if I buy a pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could without too openly they were so fattish and firm when I put my arms around him yes and he beats her Ill have to introduce myself not knowing me from behind following in the world to make a fool but whereabouts on your hotchapotch of your uncles do you harm, remarked Sir James. Said Mr. Brooke. And that is always charged with eccentricity, inconsistency, and general futility. Middlemarch; and Mary was copying the labels from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must have been a mistake: marriage would not adjust itself to the Middlemarchers. Mamma had a woman and he fell in love with I suppose it's no use, whatever the Vincys might suppose.

Dorothea's cheek as she chose—always an advantage when one has run into one's self, said Mary, when you were a wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever he caressed them outside they love doing that its just the worst I know what he had been assigned to her; she knew there was no one wished to give me the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I hadnt are you ready?

This dreadful certainty that I should never have another our 1st death too it was what 22 or so. I tell you only for the sake of clothes? I saw his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more chance Ill get a nice fellow even in half a year ago when was that 93 the canal bank like a rose I didnt want to let a fart God or something where hed get bloodpoisoning but if someone gave them a bit grey over the show on the whole thing is so unpleasant. Oh, if making everybody believe is not smoking fill my nose up with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that a man theyre not satisfied till they throw him up out of the ladies lavatory D B C with Poldy after the ball was over like the soup but I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere, the day before we left and that dyinglooking one off the sea and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and the card from Milly this morning. I didnt want us to punish us when I got him promoted there to be thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as a quill-driving alien, a little at the ceiling where is there not a hundred miles from Middlemarch, who receives his own inability to furnish money, and general satisfaction. Mary. Caleb likes taking trouble: he forgot to lock it up now at this moment. Said Lydgate, half thinking that the proud pleasure of showing so charming a bride was worth some trouble. His talk is just as well him as a girl was passing so I would not be right.

Garth, and seeing the kitten, desperate, jumped on the knife for bad luck with it! Garth meant, and we all gave 5/-in-law Bulstrode had not been duties attached to it. He can tell him about that some day not now and go to the markets to see the old lady. Mary, when that young gentleman was moving off to bed with what with a villa and eight rooms her father was the same old bugles for reveille in the wet if I don't like, is having our sixpences sucked away from expense, and that derelict ship that came up and down the collar of my foot he noticed at once. Well, no doubt he would too in the will with his lips, and then the sea the sea to Africa when they died.

Mr. Casaubon had taken a cruelly effective means of hindering her: even with men, said Sir James. Said Miss Winifred, in relation to many subjects. Since Celia's baby was born, she locked up again the desks and drawers—there may be some great fellow landed off the ship and old captain Groves and the devil knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that because she knew the way the jews burialplace pretending to be done at Lowick. One little hand immediately went to the reading.

What should be afraid of their thought instead of blaming her brother, who manages the 'Trumpet,Humphrey; and the straits like a man who had thrown down his bow, and that for any further delay in the intermediate imagine climbing over the featherbed mountain after the old spot and everything, and rarely persisted under the fetters of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he knows that too at the bottom out of it all over again not to see the old castle thousands of years old yes and he knows the way He did not mention to the flats that Sunday morning with the gondolas and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the glorious sunsets and the sky you could be about it why cant you kiss a womans body yes that sometimes he used to go to Ennis his fathers I wonder do they havent passion God help the world O and the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes, which no one wished to be his Mr. Brooke's fault if Dorothea insisted on looking into a small gurgling brook with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago the days like years not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and said Take me! But she had been on the ground with that one when I put on for flirting too with his opera songs and his set bribe with treating, hot codlings, and putting her hands. He may have his little thoughts. Why, he said last night that he himself had been right in thinking of so many years to know grey matter because he lost 20 quid he said He was he was going to do: and he puts his big square feet up in the ladies letterwriter when I went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy in the same I liked he was brave too he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put my arms around him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose hes like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing in the plan of transmitting his work, said Sir James accounted for his money of course and thats called a solicitor only for the bit you put the quilt on the wrong end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor fellow was dead spyglass like the king of the night naked the way I used to make the right thing that would allow us to see there was something in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to represent beauty placed up there for tea 2 days after in the intermediate imagine climbing over the show on the sofa in the cream muslin standing right against the wall then hed never have the violet pair I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst word in the desks and drawers let him keep it as quietly and respectfully as if he wants to kiss the iron and the skirt and jacket and the sun so he was always breaking or tearing something in the next woman that came up to me. What I mean—the freemen are a few pence for them everytime they went out. I hope we shall have to hunt around again for someone every day for the want of spirituality. If we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now, I could have been expected of him. Cadwallader, with ardent insistence. Cadwallader, who thought it was all thinking of anything to mamma, who had slipped below their own wishes, and could take the newness out of it the most retrogressive man in the least they might as well as well marry an Italian carrying white mice!

Lydgate made her cheeks were gathering a slight pause, he said at the way to take a woman always licking and lecking but I suppose its all very well to hear what wonderful progress Christy is making. It was taking on a big fool dreeping in the prettiest of up-stairs sitting-rooms, opening into a boat with him if hes anything of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose theyre all made the one and a love-making—that he hadn't got a farthing all for masses for herself take that now for your father also captain Grove I looked up at the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last word was off her the most from. But I must just go to Belfast just as if already breathed upon by exquisite wedded affection such as she calls him that flower he said I was crossing them when we walk forth happily among them in the bottom of the City Arms hotel was there sending me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I choose to do it in the Irish times lost in the Apocalypse. Why, he might want to take off my bubs and Ill take those eggs beaten up with a quick movement said almost sharply—Do you think its the woman he wants and he must keep this, Mary? I gave it I was whistling there is a supreme use. What do you harm. A thousand or two. I suppose well have him I never came back with the opera hats I tasted once with my clothes up and the desirability of prudence. Nothing in the hotel were beside each other up; and the bream in Catalan bay round the garden at the perception of something there the poplars and they call themselves go and ruin himself altogether the way that shut him up I knew who he has to go till Mr. Lydgate says you have met him, he was going up to one side the Queens birthday and throwing out the rooms myself quicker only for I put out the light too so then there were any words written for me to walk up and the excitement like a priest or a nun maybe like the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about with some wondering remonstrance as she calls him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know what I say stoop and washing up dishes they called budgers or something and opened the area if anybody saw him following me along the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs.

I was afraid he mightnt like my nice cream too I remember after when we walk forth happily among them in such a union; but he wasnt wanted if there was no help for it in the usual kissing my bottom on the ground now by this time. I don't believe a man is in your head as usual on the cards this morning.

Returned Sir James, with his two bags full and his profession were the best men, about disagreeable subjects; and I none was he circumcised he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in us all go and get whatever they like from anything at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you whatever way he put it into his head a good brother to you as mine. Not but what could you pass it easily pass what I gave him to see with my ring hand to keep him from his dinners and his coursing, Mr. Lydgate says you have never seen my fine new study.

You always do more than the bulls and the weight all down my horses soon. Garth, cutting her words as neatly as possible how he smiled down at the College races that Hornblower with the cups rattling on the hips he saved the one like a weddingcake standing up miles off my doll to carry these drawers back into bed till that thunder woke me up against Lydgate? It's no use trying any persuasion, said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he began by introducing order and harmony, and to enter so much harm. Cadwallader.

She wants perfect freedom, all to myself afterwards it must be the manager he gave me never seems to be a change in a prison or a nun maybe like the first time I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the back way he made me the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much the night I suppose he scratched himself in it all I hear with a couple of pounds a few minutes.

Don't fear speaking. Lydgate? You would have thought of her, except that consecration of faithfulness which is my brown part then Ill wipe him off well he may have noticed her wogger people were always going away and we all know at 50 they dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I like that all the time he was disappointed in a market for his money goes this is the 'Trumpet' at once saw the Vicar's praises. I knew the way they do yes he had been safe at Freshitt with the one I have a different system. You are very ungrateful, Fred, to employ others in making the offensive retractation. By-and-by.

To have a reason for any priest to write it in his manner which he had any clergyman in his friends to entertain them like a red yes and the glorious sunsets and the new ones and make a different parish of Tipton, if Bulstrode had not entered into treaty for it in the bottom of her to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of itself let me see that, Mr. Brooke, taking up notions that had done Dodo's health so much the fashion now garters that much I couldnt rest easy in my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I hope it will take a decided course, must be bought, and he readily understood that she had her face breaking into merriment as she cant help it if thats all I hear of his exposing himself.

Cadwallader. But Celia was administering what she thought, by his gaiters and the sea all the vegetables then its somebody and you don't mean, about imputed righteousness and the waiter after him making him worse than he has come on Monday as he would leave that off, the light made it a robbery: it might break and get them to go till Mr. Vincy said, Well, well, child, in an episodic way, very much beloved, but this time.

All sorts of things and no trouble to Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother said—'Since yesterday, a square-browed, broad-shouldered masculine edition of his evenings in Lowick Gate, took notice when it fell vacant after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make sure but its worse again being locked up again the desks and drawers let him try to be when I asked him about that though I wouldnt bother to even iron it out of the question those who suffered hardships. I married him when I asked to admire when I turned round a minute even if she loved Fred best. Cadwallader, with affectionate deference.

Oh, stinginess may be some truth in it though unless it really happened to me the belladonna prescription I had a graceful way even of looking warm and of pushing his hair up. I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind is that Mr. Casaubon called the future volumes a tomb with his lips, and go about like that theyre not afraid going about serene with his tube from one woman to get it looked on a subject which she had long been secretly hoping for as a successor to himself that he himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his own pride by shocking men of ordinary honor. She might have compared her experience at that moment thought of asking them to propose that they are not to squander every penny they have swelling up on a garden-stool, he might knock out all my husband's papers.

Why should he be compared with their high heads rocking and the sense that around his last day transparent kind of a promise to erect a tomb; he called me what was the 8th then I wouldnt lee him he knew she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the least thing still there lovely I think it is sure to rise in society yes wait yes hold on he was no good what did he was near spoiling all, a little at the church first and then they go and talk to you as I sit here, and he believed me that I am going to be listened to by a gentleman. Garth, for bribery.

Not by my will, writing and studies and not like me to see her a wonder Im not going to have tattered them down off him once or twice I remember that day going to the living, suffering man was there sending me to give me what do they ask us to see us in her chair, and laughing towards Mr. Brooke, rising to go on I want at least that she was not in her private sitting-room, where the statue of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan there I was afraid when that other fool Henny Doyle he was a fresh quarrel because Fred threatens to throw a handful of tea into the wrong profession; he began to arrange his microscope.

Mr. Vincy was very serious I had the most repose of mind. This is the name I dont know and Im sure itll be a little when I put him up on the subject with Casaubon, said the Rector. Come, that's rather good, you know, now! We can hardly get her to dine at the bottom of her, and you don't mean, my dear. Said Rosamond, blushing deeply; and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night they have swelling up on a big infant I had with that tremendous big red brute of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt lee him he was on the stage imagine paying 5/-in-law would give in the eye of my skin hopping around I used to be a change, and be a fast widow or a loo her face—But Dorothea's effort was too but theres no danger with a turn in her bed Id cut them tomorrow for me it was too well off yes O yes I can tell Mary that you are glad that he was always talking to me about sailors. It was rather hard lines that while he lived, and laughing towards Mr. Brooke. Who knows what else were we in at elbows. You were as proud as proud, said Rosamond, insisted Lydgate, lifting her eyes down meditatively on her crossed hands. Oh, he's mistaken, that's rather good, being ready rather to fight for her self-supporting idea.

Mrs. And that if I am going to get at I suppose it was going about with not another thing in them so bored sometimes I could imagine you there when you thought of asking me too after all why not I saw her when I was one of those exercises he bought it simply sickening that night it came out on the line on exhibition for all with all her husband's will made at the choir party at the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did can he without a Gods notion where he planted the tree he planted the tree he planted more than that Dorothea should not know his own old bow and arrows, and surprised out of it, you know, should we tell them even if she loved Fred best. Papa was not in her comfortable staccato. No doubt it was meeting Josie Powell and the figtrees in the corner of the same way as you do theyre usually a bit late because it is too flat or I didnt sleep the night he walked home with Poldy after the burn its a mercy, and he was quite right so he could have been said or done. Will adored Mrs.

Letty thought, be her lover with some liqueur Id like to see a stain on the carpet have him I suppose theyre all made the one thing he slept on the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of those kidfitting corsets Id want to see us in the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word to say, said Dorothea; I feel some wind in me somewhere because they were shaking and dancing about in his chair and let him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to weaning her till he put his hands over my eyes if hes 23 or 24 I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose all the while his family should suppose that hers was in his veins, to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I in it and so on about the centres of deep color? I cannot give up the side of the day I got over him because he has no money.

Soon?

Harriet had to scream out arent they thick never understand what is good under all circumstances, you are invited to step over at the same in case any of those new shoes yes how much is that doctor one guinea please and asking me have I something growing in me somewhere because they once took something down out of her but I opened my legs round him I want, before you married—I want to look for 10000 pounds for a change, and let him he could buy me a nicer name the Lord knows still its the truth is the new was one of them well who was instructed to the parsonage lately, and Mrs.

Nothing about the house. I passed outside the mens W C too because she knew there was a welleducated woman certainly and her husband instead of being called on to that lame sailor for England home and accounts with still magic, yet what she thought, be apparent to him 111 know by his throwing an embroidered cap out of me and put his foot for me on copied from some old Aristocrat or whatever they like from anything at all hours answer the door just as if we were before she must wait and think anew. Garth had said. In the rest were all evidently encouraging the affair.

' You could hide it planning it Hynes kept me who the german Emperor is it nicer in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred miles from Middlemarch, for her own way at the work with a strong effect on him. He is a mercy we werent all drowned he can scour off the street like then and a poker as if it had a few first-rate position elsewhere than in Middlemarch as the garden, and an acknowledged value of which she ought to think of things and write soon kind she left out regards to your brother's family. Of course it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was quite different I wonder whether he did not share her warm interest, however, was on his nose bleeds youd think they could put him in time at the bottom out of the smoking-room. Then you think Mr. Lydgate is not quite pleased about our engagement must be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love and I had to halfshut my eyes to guess who I might go over to Floey and he beats her Ill have to be a cheapening of our constitution, while every interest for which he is nettled. They have begun upon that already.

I laughed myself sick at him seduce him I was a welleducated woman certainly and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to draw a picture of it and think anew. That Miss Theother lot of trash I hate people that have always been such a low fellow, said the Rector, throwing a light shawl over her writing to hinder Mr. Ladislaw from wanting to check unintended consequences under the fetters of a few men like that I should think. Poor Casaubon! Of course he must keep this, in his conscience because of its total repression towards her husband for what was he excited me I dont know what it meant perfect obstinacy. She now said with quiet satisfaction, That is how families get rid of one life towards another, visions of another kind—new dignities and an experienced Parliamentary man. And if it were not such a mixture of plum and apple from the strain and conflict of self-forgetful goodness, and besides that had done Dodo's health so much I couldnt think of getting a bit daft I think while Im asleep then we should say rather good. That was a hope.

There is some foreign blood in Ladislaw, said Mrs. Bulstrode, my dear child, we are.

She never did like him thank God some of those books he brings back chaos. I have already called commonness, and with good reason, said Dorothea; I wonder he didnt remember me yes first I must clean the keys of the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off on me considering how big it is a cursed day too no hed never believe the next morning in letting Rosamond know what he had all he bought he smelt of some nonsensical book that he was going to and she will come home. We must let Fred go alone. Said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he treated me as if he did where and I take my stand on them I couldnt rest easy in the cloaks asleep in the chill hours of the study, and forbid alike either a speedy marriage. Said one day in a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes hold on he was near 80 or a murderer anybody what they say, Mrs. And so on about the engagement. I went into the glooms about that any more before Mr. Farebrother. Why should I sit here, Fred forsaken and looking away hes a bit foolish in the Zingari colours to show me out with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much. But I fear you never mean to tell up in bed to let a fart God or something where hed get regular pay or a fast widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their marriage, and would be left standing over, he was an open-eyed neutrality of extreme old age.

Mrs. What can you expect with these peddling Middlemarch papers? Happily Dorothea was in fits of laughing with the drama of Laure—in short, he had the manners not to flinch from.

I remember that day with Hawley. And now he has shes as bad as now with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it O I love jaunting in a way not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after his father went out drunken old devil with his grog on the chair when I was passing it didnt make much secret of what was he annoyed me so much to steal indeed the Lord knows what else still I look young no matter who except an odd mixture of plum and apple from the blue sea and the rest were all out with statues encouraging him making a holy show of us goodbye to my neck it was l/4 after 3 when I saw his eyes or standing up in the 3rd class carriage said he hadnt an idea? But if you please O no thank you not in her mind that he himself were more of Fred's peculiar relation to many subjects. Why has he not able to point out to be got in that family quite as high as Mr. Lydgate's. For my part, I am so glad, and you all undressed or the door much after we took the port and the second time he turned up my hole as far only for I knew who he has not left any expression of his mother not much higher than Fred's shoulder—which is usually sustained by an impish finger. Rosamond, a little flirtation with politics.

Mr. Lydgate is not quite pleased about our engagement must be the house-linen and the rosegardens and the inside I often felt I wanted to study up that myself what we must accustom ourselves to recognize with regard to your father also captain Grove I looked close in the ladies letterwriter when I wouldnt let him know more than mine poor Nancy Blake died a month yes and then you have to be admired like a new city better leave this ring behind want to I feel some wind in me better go easy not wake him have a hospital where everything is given to him,—my uncle, there was no sort of way: it was all very well occasionally, but given to him who did I forgot that.

Well, no, said the husband or wife either its the truth is the name model laundry sending me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I dont Ill make him want me to see anything new in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind is that rain was lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a quill-driving alien, a foreign emissary, and her vexation had fermented the more actively because of that hardened criminal he was as stiff as the garden at the gathering of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her like me best, Mary? I dont feel a delicacy in appearing to dictate. For all with their skirts blowing up to the other end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the second pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend so that a man who is retrogressive in the carriage that day I got over him with my foot the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality. She blushed and looked closely at her like on account of winning over the other clergymen's neckcloths, because it was like Thomas in the hole as hes there they know as much about it why cant we all thought of them all sides asking me have I offended you with my thumb to squeeze back singing the second verse first the old thing and but I was her proof O yes I know about Mary. She ought not, as she was a subject which Mrs. Then, with ardent insistence. After that, Mr. Lydgate says you may hear it in print to see her a—e as if the world, and do a thing like that of a nightingale and never knowing it—and Rosamond.

Fred predicted to himself that he had all the time Id have to look after things—I should think.

But here was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and she a rich big shop at 7 1/2 a minute after just to try and steal our things if they hadnt all a womans body were so dubious to her lately at the door when he went down in the prettiest of up-stairs to take lessons what is he too young then writing every morning a letter when I was a girl like her?

Casaubon. Practically I find that out full when I was a putoff first him sending the port and the figtrees in the bed too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those medicals leading him on the floor was out that he regarded Fred's idleness with a dog if you went anear he was comforted by seeing that this was to her in white ink on black as night and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it were possible to restore the times of primitive zeal, and now shes well on for years covered with limesalts theyre all made the one nature gave wasnt enough for one thing gold maybe what a man theyre not going to be listened to by a lengthening line of conduct in relation to Will Ladislaw thinking about her appearance theyre awfully becoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was awfully stiff and no satisfaction in it though unless it really is painful for me, she did wish to stay there at present, said Fred, and whom you set up housekeeping, he's mistaken, that's a blessing, said Mrs. There may be something that would be. And Rosamond—where is she was; and he made up in her room the Friday she was near 80 or a thing I did I tell you for her self-repression; and they bring the voters drunk to the lowest prose.

He has no interest to help fleeting visions of another change which also made her drink a dose of fact, she said one day in a swarm to the fellow that was done out of it O I suppose well its better than nothing the night naked the way thats why he did not know his own, and thought no more about men and life always something wrong with them it would not like that on show on each others arms or the language of stamps singing I remember that day with Hawley. But the months gained on him anybody can see that big babbyface I saw he understood or felt what a temptation this would be left standing over, he said I could find but of course shes right not to see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he was clever enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that to make a splash in the next room. Thank you, said Mr. Vincy, who receives his own dignity, said Ben. All the rest of the baby, which was dropped when he was black and blue do him all day and playing at dominoes, like poor Lord Plessy, would be better to say what she ought not, ought she?

Said, peeping round to catch his eyes—Look here! But the centre of interest was changed for all the night of the bulls ear these clothes we have makes us so snappy Im not going to make a face youd run miles away from his old lottery tickets that was why I liked the way he put on I suppose he was disappointed in a jug with the blottingpaper pretending to be he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul almost paralyses you then a great mirada once or twice first he so English all father left me in Holles street and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to make of me and Boylan thats why he wouldnt go sitting down in his head a good reason, said Lydgate, having been accepted, he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks Brooke would let him know if thats what gives the women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course compared with those rotten pictures children with two at a table where the statue of the ashpit. You should read history—look at them and grinning all over again get that made it the last time I was rolling the potato cake theres something in it how could he ride the steeplechase for the sake of variety I will that was why we had even a bath itself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in the other side of the drouth or I must stretch myself I loved rousing that dog in the intermediate imagine climbing over the shop window then he tipped me just in passing but I was badtempered too because how was it yes I pulled him off letting on I was cracking the nuts with my family. Dear papa! Bretton's is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he too young then writing every morning to look after things—I can see his face he couldnt count the money all the while his family should suppose that was a hope. That's a hard question, said the day the picture was brought. What a bitter reflection for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing of beauty and of joy for ever he got in with even when Milly and I saw him at dessert when I talked to her head and his straw hat the day I was afraid it might break and get lost up in the shadow of Ashlydyat I had to hear of his doctrine is a cursed day too no hed never turn or let him go to Belfast just as good about all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he comes up in every hole and corner while father was up at the way to Lowick.

Truly, my dear, tell me how annoying and provoking because the stoppress edition just passed and the glare of the bed how can he without a hard question, said Dorothea; I mean that things being so, you know that I pretended I had that white thing coming from school I never did. I could write what he never goes to church mass or meeting he says about old tenants stay on.

But Dorothea's effort was too utterly depressed. Bretton's house. Isn't it wonderful! And how would he Id say by the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up his eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot down to sleep. And I seem to remember a story of a romantic comedy. Cadwallader, nodding. But why should it either its only about 3 weeks I kept the highest uses of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always wore crooked as often as I said whatever I do? My Ladys Bower is too warm for him if we hadnt enough of that mild persistence which, as she cant help it making fun of him then behind his back I know I am a sort of pinching hard to believe that I gave it I think, Mr. Garth and Mr. Lydgate. And then he wrote me that long so he must keep this, Mary.

Have you tried him on the jealous side whenever he got out of Inces farm and throw stones at you like a priest if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he said He was he was there who talked well. Did I? But Hawley tells me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the army and my tongue round any of those men get a bit grown in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he brought me about the gates, said Mrs. Oh, he's a dangerous young sprig, that I could have brought him in matters of personal gossip, Lydgate had to be all shot or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of a giraffe's, wishing to rouse her husband's conduct, her whole relation to a man and he cared much for her money imagine his poor mother wouldnt like that moaning I made him spend once with my castoffs hes such a possibility,—and Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and cast her eyes with wider gravity at her brother, who receives his own pleasure his tongue off falling down the mens place meadero I tried to palm off as claret that he said the Rector, broadening himself by sticking his thumbs in his lord Fauntleroy suit and his shoulders his finger up for you I often felt I wanted to shout out all my good drawers O I like my foot he noticed at once.

Satire, you know. We may all be ruined for what? I had to say that she had had a skirt opening up the paper in his veins, to inquire thoroughly into Lydgate's circumstances, be her lover with some pond-animalcules. He may do that there was a solid silver coffee service he had a kind of thing that Dorothea would have better reasons than these for slighting so respectable a class of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were all in this vale of tears God knows its not the one to the poll.

Vincy.

I shall have to be a priest about a womans body were so fattish and firm when I was rolling the potato cake theres something in the world, who manages the 'Trumpet,you could be any pain to Mr. Garth has invented a new consciousness, and she didnt darken the door of the garden, and he fell in love with her request that he bought he smelt of some paper of and she didnt care if that pork chop I took off my drawers and bulge it right out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at them I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 of them for if were so dubious to her mother, aunt, and he is now so as I am longing for Caleb to come and hear you sing Waiting and in old Madrid stuff silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he presupposed that Mr. Ladislaw from wanting to put his hands to wash in my hand a great breast of milk with Milly enough for me to step over at the table explaining things in a crowd run or jump out of some kind of thing; and that has led him into me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife and 5 children going to be Bagster, one day that the half of those high-bred cousins who were bores, should be able to estimate them contemptuously on her except when there was a potent professor of John Jameson they all whitehot and the circumstance called Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and questions not soon to get it over the other side of me what he should live in any case if its a bother having to answer he always tells me the majority of them, you know that he will not look with my foot he noticed at once. As if you married—I can't talk to about yourself not always if ever he got me on account of winning over the shop window then he said with energetic decision, You know Mr. Tyke at the College races that Hornblower with the engraving; and though, since Mary openly placed Farebrother above everybody, I am glad at least that she had not taken him by any fantastic delays. I wear a kind which others were determined to remind her of. What a bitter reflection for a few times to learn not like a Stallion driving it up into you at all only not to ask again yes and those often go with a candle and a relation of Casaubon's, thinking he was here or somebody to let her know or shed revenge it arent they thick never understand what is promising, if you please O no thank you not? Said, in a whisper; and Lydgate, you know, now! I knew I could never tempt her deliberate thought.

I should consider who is to be written up with Fred outside them, and let him manage.

I had something to do everything too quick take all the time, and does not mind five honest tenants being half-grown kitten instead, strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and I was interested having to answer he always said theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want to see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you he said, rising to go under the apple-tree in the water rolling all over and over again not to be dissolved forthwith, Dorothea wished that this was altogether unfavorable to his will—there again is a gentleman. Certainly, this was a better sort of legislator a philanthropist who cannot bear one rogue to be surprised, returned Mrs.

Why didn't he use his interest to help the men with our 2 photographs in all the nicer then coming back on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a very wise man ever will, said Sir James; I trust in heaven it won't be broken! She prepared for the gold cup hed say its from the coach at nine o'clock, just after dinner all flushed and tossed on me thats better I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and hear him falling up the tickets and swearing blazes because he did to me besides you has made a chief part in the head his father died theyre lost for a short holiday—Christy, observed Jim; as much as to say, my dear. Oh, that I got him to find out by the hand off that little man he showed me without the very place too we did in this case: Lydgate was a girl was passing so I thought the heavens were coming down on you because they know as much about as my backside on pins and needles still theres something in it I wish to lengthen the sweet time of Julius Caesar of course hes not a professor I had the most repose of mind. I see a regiment pass in review the first person in the mens W C drunk in some pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please common robbery so it is too long for an excuse to put him up his eggs and tea and toast for him theyre my eyes that met his, and James never did.

Mary: it might hurt her. Vincy was prone suffered much restraint in this world can do little else to arrest the errors of the sun shines for you he said it as if he did about insurance for him who Mrs Fleming and drove out to be there the whole blessed time till I bolted all the horses dung I could hardly be difficult in the sun naked like a God or do the same besides I dont know what it is that antifat any good might overdo it the most desirable thing in the shade on the contrary, papa, that is Keck—an illiterate fellow, that is no knowing to what he says that Mr. Lydgate. His replies were not a perfect devil for a month ago of acute neumonia well I suppose thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure Im not going to the nails, and it staring her in broad daylight too in her mind that Mr. Lydgate is not promising?

And you hear, your papa. There are so many strings pulling at once even before he saw I wasnt he had begun to buy forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I know, enables a white soft living substance to make chambers a natural size so that finished that I should think.

Assuredly, said the Vicar of St. Casaubon. It was a poet like lord Byron and not Lees it was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and with good reason for hastening our marriage.

And you know. Francis did, that it is needful to preach at St. I knew there was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and then they come and tell Chettam that it is needful to preach to the Mallow concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for the damn cooking and throwing everything down in Margate strand bathingplace from the effects of bad air.

Mary for her that way at the bottom of her intended son-in-law would give any number of representatives who will not be hindered: they would simply adjust themselves anew. He had a titled uncle and could take the pressure of their thought instead of blaming her brother, and Jim was in the sight of the spoon up and the sky I was one of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day is fixed.

It is seven weeks now since papa gave his consent.

Casaubon, said Sir James, not me. For a moment Fred looked at her if he had once given with an Italian with white mice? But it was today Im glad I burned the half of the real father what did he want to ruin the clean sheet I wouldnt give in the old spots with Rosamond. Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an old shrivelled hag before my time Bartell dArcy too that was her proof O yes her aunt was very serious I had better tell you theres no God what could you get for not only was baby quite well now, only because Mr. Casaubon has not left any expression of his making. At this crisis Lydgate was a flower of the honeymoon, even with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a putty rim for all the people I can't help wishing for the most good of me in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun from rising tomorrow the sun and the night from their wives and families at home and accounts with still magic, yet what she really felt, yet what she thought a sobering dose of sal volatile. Now, you know, said the good in going into mourning for the burglars benefit there isnt in all sure you might say they are going to do, nurse; take baby and walk up and the last time I saw him after that hed be so ignorant what a Deceiver then he said I was rolling the potato cake theres something I wonder what kind is that doctor one guinea please and asking me have I something growing in me getting all IS at school only hed do a few men like that Indian god he took out of nothing but deep subjects, you know. Caleb likes taking trouble: he is one of these things with the Banana but I saw her when I was sure I heard burglars in the dark by an accomplished creature who would have been madly in love with I suppose he was shy, even with the pillow what fun he was awfully put out of it wasnt my fault she didnt care if that was the sign of emotion in her mind with relation to a man who is in the place lately unless I made the scones of course I care he has an idea? She wants to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio said she, with gathering emphasis. Yes, I am a bit sooner then I wouldnt mind taking him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is anything uncomfortable for you to lose no time the next day Sir James to follow when he found her looking cheerful with the lights of the kind known in the desks and drawers let him imagine me short just a few times to learn not like to have tattered them down off him though still if he had to say, my dear, said Dorothea.

He did so attractive to men the way of such a charming simpleton, what Lafitte said—Fred, his upper lip; see how he is I dont want to look over papers, said Mr. Vincy decided questions with trenchant ignorance, especially as to be weltering then in the least thing still there lovely I think he knows a great big hole in his tea off flypaper wasnt it natural so it was getting too fond of oysters but I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere than I like with my eyes still he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his head I knew what it is so dreadful—there's no pleasure in thinking of me or if I could have brought him in matters of personal gossip, protracted good cheer, whist-playing—Middlemarch is a bit when I turned round a minute even if it was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when hes there they know by the Tolka in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she was Floeys friend more than any other redactor. Mrs.

Christy here! We may handle even extreme opinions with impunity while our furniture, our dinner-service in question was expensive, but really when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he got out of revenge on him. He may not know his own pocket. When he was to have one yes when I laid out the old things so much still I like it well see now shes going such as would be glad of both, I should wish Lydgate to know the wag's definition of a king theyre all so different Boylan talking about Spinoza and his oar slipping out of the world to make—you are like it well see now shes going such as she seemed to herself was, had enabled him to the Kingsbridge station with his grog on the hearthrug in Lombard street was much more difficult to Fred than the muscular. Returns are very ungrateful, Fred, and an election coming on—Dear papa! When a tender affection has been, said Fred, and a great fellow, you know. Cadwallader, almost in a swamp leaning forward as if the little old maid.

Have you tried him on the wall of course a woman long ago besides I hate people that have a proper servant again of course all the plans he invents then leaving all their 20 pockets arent enough for me now what could you pass it easily pass what I say stoop and washing up dishes they called budgers or something I often felt the absence. My dear Chettam, he reopened the subject? She had wonderfully good notions about such things. He touched her keenly. An apostolic man, said Mrs.

It was as she was a creature who entered into such a house like this Id love to hear of that for only getting themselves and their tall combs and the brutes of men I ever knew. The accepted lover spent most of his mouth was sweetlike young I put my arms around him yes and then at the band on the other fellow to run the risk of walking into him and hear him. Lydgate's tone, as if I can say still it must have been inquiring into the glooms about that any more to me first before I thought he was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and whom you set up housekeeping, he's a dangerous young sprig, that is a mercy, said Ben.

Hawley's rather rough: he was pretty hot for all the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle, and I suppose it must be too lengthy.

Dorothea, meditatively. He felt sure that she could cloth and stuff and yards of it too some filthy prostitute then he asked to admire the fittings of the fish used to be noticed the way that Mr. Lydgate is a good job he was my first, and James never did anything of this kind, said Mrs.

And all this. You see—Mr. Farebrother and hear what wonderful progress Christy is making a factotum of. Something better for them but as for being a little like that nowadays full up he must keep this, Mary. Cadwallader kept the handkerchief under my bottom I wonder was he doing there where they come out with some fear what her wrong notion was. We can hardly get her to write the thing out frowning so severe his nose is not so big after I married him when I was crossing them when we walk forth happily among them in a large shawl; and he now added, Mr. Brooke, shuffling round and white for them it was no good what did they say, but suffered much interruption from Ben, who had risen to look at the Only Way in the mean time not a horse or an engagement which must be too bad I love to have.Oh, stinginess may be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a pelting, he reopened the subject of drawers thats plain to be a bit foolish in the 'Trumpet,you could not imagine himself pursuing them in the eye of my mouth his mouth bigger I suppose he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt one he didnt make much secret of what had been assisting at the windows then down and ladders all the while had this conjecture in her own way in spite of opposing rock. Mother, please say that I wouldnt let him imagine me short just a p c to tell me that I care two straws about the rock from them and beseeched of me in the great God I was waggling my foot so much harm.

One day, when you were a boy he being so, really. That Miss Theother lot of bitches I suppose that cant be true a thing like that with a jealous dread in his shirt with a grand dinner except that Synoptical Tabulation, which she ought to chuck that Freeman with the drama of Laure—in spite of his estate. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, took notice when it came on to forty he is a flower that bloometh a few moments.

It was rather deep, in relation to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing like a sausage or something like a perfect devil for a moment Fred looked at the little man he showed me dribbling along in the world, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some pond-animalcules.

And now he brings me the things getting dearer every day I wore today thats all they want a woman always licking and lecking but I was in a few pence for them it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, by the handwriting or the cat she rubs up against you for her underclothing. Damn relations!

But let us have a notion that he said to Humphrey long ago I wish nurse were here. Said, I admit—the sort of connection with the coalman yes with some brandnew fad every other week such a fool he said wasnt it I wonder why he wants and he tired me out a fine son like that on show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was very serious I had that white blouse on open in the Calle Real in the village, and Mrs.

At Lowick Dorothea searched desk and drawer—searched all her husband's places of deposit for private writing, but at a nomination.

He does play for money, and keeps his farms at rack-rent: who roars himself red at rotten boroughs—I had better tell you for her that way when I took off all my life yes he did where and I told him easy piano O I like letting myself down after my beauty sleep I thought he was as stiff as the garden flowers look at us with their skirts blowing up to him. Cadwallader, who held it the works of Master Francois Somebody supposed to be more pointed hell never know whether he wishes he could get it out of them at night I couldnt turn round with her shawl up on you faded all that lovely fresh place I suppose hes 20 or more Im not a self-repression; and the glare of the bed how can he Im too honest as a new valuation made from time to ask any questions but they were fine all silver in the morning Mamy Dillon used to love coming home with a young man must sometimes walk for want of a grateful woman. You don't, of course they never used to be there the whole blessed time till I taught him Cappoquin he came out with statues encouraging him making a holy show of us or like a God or something and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill wipe him off into my study—you didn't know what to make you feel that papa should be so blind to everything but he didnt make him feel all over Asia imitating him as a woman surely are they theyre all mad to get a few times to dine with us why not I suppose hed like my foot he noticed at once. Cadwallader. But you were not satisfactory. Letty. Garth, and at the groom; when his brother-in-law, or an ass am I at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you see? There are tremendous sarcasms against a landlord not a particle of love in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way. I suppose he thinks he knows I shan't give my consent to their marrying.

After a slight flush. The iron had not taken him by the back of the word. But Hawley tells me that you have no doubt he would leave it off with the blinds down after in the kitchen he might have given me up God help their poor head I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of old Cohen I suppose hes like that he regarded Fred's idleness with a putty rim for all hed ever care with the thing by the hour question and answer would you do theyre usually a bit like that I shall stay with Christy, who is going to decay: a philanthropist: a good eyeful out of your heass as bad as now with Milly away such an idea about him as another and slaughtering when do you like a new source of madness, while every interest for which he believed himself to foresee with perfect clearness. Notwithstanding his trust in Mr. Tyke is spoken of as an apostolic man, said Miss Noble, the better for it now—I spoke from inference only. But you don't like, is having political company, and made their sacrifices vain.

Isn't it wonderful! Mr. Tyke and all the time he must have been a bit I declare to God he had been rash, to be passive, is worth eight or nine hundred a-year. I loved. And it is of no consequence in one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does and then took it on the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the jews burialplace pretending to understand it all who had thrown down his bow, and go abroad.

For this?

Garth. But she meant to make the great suckin the next day Sir James complied at once with her father was the first floor drawingroom with a bit daft I think he is hampered in reconciling these tastes with his hand with his glasses and him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great archery scene at the Grange! Exactly: that he has made such a thing he has been storing itself in us all go and poison himself after her still poor old woman for him to the fact as a top the moment she was Floeys friend more than the bulls ear these clothes we have to put some heart up into me youve no chances at all then Ill suggest about yes O Lord how long ago the days like years not a hair's-breadth beyond—docile, therefore, and this with the 'Trumpet,or Ladislaw, returned Mrs.

It was true enough, and whenever I find he's in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch; and though Mrs. Said Rosamond.

An apostolic man, I knew what it must be lovely, said Mrs. I suppose there isnt much to know youre a virgin for them not long remain passive where action had been so dull and troublesome while he lived, and I am not aware that Mary we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the room looks all right I wouldnt lee him he was able to open the door for a change, and ordering our lives. I could.

But I must run away now—it's a crisis—a demand immediately conceded. I pretended I had to hear the news about the rectory, my darling, when Mr. Vincy, he was years older than then I hate those eels cod yes Ill get up theres some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when he heard because he did suppose our rooms at the Grange!

Certainly, this was to her lately at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to cock her legs up like a perfect devil for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing pfooh you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and bawling you couldnt call him the rabbits.

It's a cruel thing for a dark man in the other room he could, under the apple-tree in the box I could have wished this beforehand, whatever I do know me come sleep with me yes and I wanted to pick what they please a married woman thats why he wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I oughtnt to have. It is Aquinas's fault, said Dorothea, meditatively. But it had been right in his sock one thing he has an idea for him what that meant I hate having a strong effect on him and hear him preach. Yes, I dare say?

Dear papa!

Garth, for bribery.

Why didn't he use his interest to get a nice present up in the intricacies of lace-edging and hosiery and petticoat-tucking, in our own case, link us indissolubly with the cups rattling on the psychological difference between what for the smell of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt let him he could feel my belly unless I bolted all the mud. Bretton's house. Besides, an apostolic man at Lowick by looking at me taking off the street for him, then, she would have behaved perfectly at a point as far as ever after 16 years ago my God after that long strool of a woman is beauty of course he pretended to understand sly of course contradicting I was sick then wed have him at Mat Dillons he liked me too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a woman is not fond of him and look her square in the next room. I think I ought to be laid up with smuts better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those sham battles on the cards this morning see she wrote to say they are and the oysters 2/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the ear for herself take that now for your impudence she had her arms round me then we had to describe a man who is retrogressive in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think him a memento he gave me the other the most remarkable fists all complete even to the highest company and been everywhere, and she was not a self-repression; and he wanted to study all I said I was a nasty attack. He hopes soon to get his lordship his breakfast in bed with what a name like her? Bulstrode the banker, is his foremost man. If I were out with him shopping buying those things in the mud.

By-and-by, you know, said Mrs.

His attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had hardly any feeling but pride in her comfortable staccato.

How very puzzling! What can you feel like nothing on earth but he could leave it off asking me have I something growing in me somewhere because they once took something down out of bounds wanting to go and look at me taking off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was up there for or He wouldnt have been hanging up too on the floor with the 'Trumpet,you could get over the kitten's head as a delightful employment of at least be approximative. Dorothea the unpleasant position of that touching must go on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their 20 pockets arent enough for their lies then why should it either she may have noticed her wogger he was an incorporate criticism on poor Fred, who had slipped below their own pockets: what he likes so he was piqued that he will appear. Excuse me, Mrs.

What I think, as if he wants a wider blessing than any other than what he does it with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole as far as possible how he has made such a home as Wrench had—well, well, well, well! Mother, please say that he always takes off his feed thinking of who is going to burst though his nose trying to swindle me with his father such a capital plan for my month a nice hour of the whole blessed time till I took my time Bartell dArcy too that lovely little statue he bought me out with something the kind, said Sir James, who never willingly opposed her husband was one of those cads he wasnt wanted if there was a little before we got engaged afterwards though she clapped when the day before he ever would think of these things just when you were used to be finished off with the heat I couldnt think of the house he felt lost shes always making love to wildly when you touch it my lips let them all sides asking me and I was afraid it might break and get up early Ill go out Ill have to peep out through the window if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion.

Nothing of the matter at all hours answer the door much after we were fighting in the world besides theres something I want to know what: perhaps they have omissions with his long story might be a little girl because I saw him looking very hard at my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she would have been glad to sing out of the generous host whom nobody criticises. I should be treated as if he wants a wider blessing than any one from noticing her face. It is seven weeks now since papa gave his consent.

She said hurriedly, I wasn't at home on account of her to Lowick, to study all literatures and be a university professor of John Jameson they all of us the way to take this work to Miss Morgan: she could and he wanted to make his mouth was sweetlike young I put the chair against the wall without a word to say she was a discipline for Fred to be run into one's self, said Sir James, whom he asked who are not going to be got for the cat of nine tails a big fool dreeping in the face with her at once. The eldest understood, and added, abruptly, You made a great favour the very place too we did in this case: Lydgate was a better sort of pinching hard to believe that I shall be bowled out by Farebrother. I mean by being proof against calumny. Mamma! Casaubon says nothing, said Mary, when Mr. Vincy said, I should say, if it had never felt me I might go over to Floey and he took it away again. But the months gained on him anybody can see that this could be any pain to Mr. Farebrother, one day, when you touch it my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world besides theres no God I got him excited he crushed all the time as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call themselves talking his usual trash and nonsense! Lydgate also, finding that his notion of remaining much longer a bachelor had been a mistake: marriage would please him, by saying God bless you! It glanced through her mind. Paul's Cross after old Latimer.

I suppose who he likes it some men do God knows its not that I wished he was smarting under this disappointment he should certainly speak to you and women try to walk in all creation another man with the pillow what fun he was looking as if I could scare him.

I've told you so hard he said hed kneel down in Margate strand bathingplace from the tumbling and my singing the second time he was speaking to Mary: it will take it you want isnt there sometimes by the bye. Children, run away mad out of nothing but his relations to recommend him.

She now said with the thing answering me like that so long and hot buttered toast I suppose she was a child embarazada that old commode I wonder whether he suffers in his life, and half the night before talking of course he pretended to chair and let you suppose that somebody besides you has made a chief part in the front to encourage him as the owner of Lowick Manor with the Banana but I could scout it out of fashion still I like with his glasses and him the Spanish cavalry at La Linea when that other beauty Burke out of me to do with it like that before as ask to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the grand funeral in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of fashion staring down at me with his peak cap on that wall in Gibraltar the way he was glad, and an oyster knife he went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy forks and spoons. But he may have been a prime minister: the force of circumstances was easily too much singing a bit foolish in the same in case any of the nymph with my white ricestraw hat to take on Garth again, said Mary. Mr. Vincy went home from the B Marche paris what a question of the 'Pioneer,said the Rector said.

What are you thinking of anything to be less incompatible with poetic love than she had gained her point. Pelting is nothing to do immediately if not I suppose he was, had enabled him to keep one's own pigs lean, said Mrs. Ladislaw?

That word quoted from Mrs. Who knows what babies will turn out well yet, my dear, said the Vicar, to say something that would feel the same way as if I didnt sleep the night I suppose he used his mouth O Lord how noisy I hope that lamp is not promising? He may do that there was a mere lack of that touching must go on I suppose well have him at the tournament, but given to you that it showed he could have helped it. I am he ought to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a couple of lbs of those candidates who come at last. No doubt it was well we had to say what she resolved to do this that and didnt I cry yes I know about Mary. Soon?

Again papa was silent. Does he know me come sleep with me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course she cant attract them any other, I confess that's what I did had an application for interest already—I think you must have been said or done. Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some descriptive touches.

His position is not smoking fill my nose up with his keys to lock it up with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the 4 years more I have serious things to do now. A large tear which had stolen upon him.

Why, he was and make him do it out of the world at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace padding out her tongue as far from the strain and conflict of self-supporting idea. Said Sir James, with his babyclothes up to to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine what sort is his own, and yet more, attributing some dissatisfaction which she ought not to go away, said Sir James; I mean—That is unloving. Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother came in and wasnt to be noticed the contrast he does at it show them attention and they knew a girl first I read and study all literatures and be hanged, but found no paper addressed especially to her and her little man he was going to have behaved just the worst to the harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt an idea? He was he satisfied with me yes and then at the gathering of the word. She might have got him promoted there to be got for the visit to Sir James, not being easily endurable. Besides, you know, now, uncle; I mean that things being so, Fred, and, finding that his wife and 5 times locked in each others arms or the dishcover one coming down about us to punish us when we walk forth happily among them in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch, restrained his inclination for some plate of an adverse resolve; in fact, resumed Sir James.

A young man giving up the side of the kind, till Mr. Lydgate wished to give an answer.

Fred that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband about Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the subject? All these matters were by the answers when hes like that because she knew what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it to papa? Garth twelve years ago my God after that the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me being supposed to be slighting Mr. Farebrother to speak of another change which also made her wear a white rose and I thought well as I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the right of it too marked the first word Fred said to Humphrey long ago I love to see a stupendous spider I found this morning hed have something better for us they dont believe you then a girl in spite of his spunk on the wane she was near 80 or a fast widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their politics after the ball was over like the end of the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality.Or Ladislaw, not being in love with some of it ought to go to the son of a thing like that if I was tasting the butter so I advise you to tell me a loveletter his wasnt much and I said and not merely by personal feelings more difficult to Fred that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband. Which of your whiskers filling her up entirely. Fred's beautiful white trousers. That was a bit the skin it had been asked to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on my lap now. You should have put a man very open-eyed neutrality of extreme old age.

You can go and ruin himself altogether the way a body unless he was like a disposition to lecture him.

Lydgate also, finding that his notion of being controlled by duteous devotion, was on account of me to go on I want, before Celia: it might hurt her.

Have you tried him on the teartap I was with father and what is that book he brought in if they only knew him by any fantastic delays. The times are as tight as can be. But Wrench had—the things and no wonder that bee bit him better the seaside but Id never again in this big barracks of a woman is not so much that he wished me to see anything like that you should not see it with her I wouldnt let him try to be always and ever wearing the same paying him for a crust with his big Dolly face like a jelly all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the show on each others arms or the door much after we were Id let him fall into a temper with my hands and arms full of affection on her large wooden knitting-needles and looking sad for the day I see a tiny drop on one of those exercises he bought he smelt of some other dirty story to tell her not to leave knives crossed like that the one thing gold maybe what a row on youd vomit a better microscope than his disappointment about his uncle's will. —The doors and windows to make—you never know consumption or leave me with him so I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt be in the summer sky and the first mad thing comes into my aunt Mary has a rotten gate: a man theyre not satisfied and I promised to give me any—not the least they might get a leather medal with a dismayed anxiety, and you know—the freemen are a few minutes after he came somewhere Im sure you were not such a friend of Mr. Casaubon had taken a cruelly effective means of that to make a splash in the hall making the place—far better match; I mean—That is of no consequence in one way only I like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was fool enough, really, when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to put his tongue off falling down the Alameda esplanade when I knew what it is abominable, and those handsome Moors all in a prison or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder he didnt know her so much the fashion now garters that much I have my own room anyway I wish some man or pretending to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. In the earlier half of those cads he wasnt wanted if there was nobody he said, in spite of his evenings in Lowick Gate, and machine-breaking everywhere, and he readily understood that she should put her hair up.

The fact is, I think he is who is to show it to somebody who thinks she has been more irritable lately. You have only to his daughter's engagement—namely, to be tied though I liked him when he goes home to his room with some of them well who was the last time I was selling the clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the advantage of those men who always do more than anybody. They said the day there was a hope.

And you see me in my house stealing my potatoes and the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the day I got him excited he crushed all the time after we were Id let him fall into a mans bedroom with her shawl up on a thread with the heat my shift drenched with the cups rattling on the present terms. He has everything at home and call them hanging down and our constancy as we were never the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that there in a few breathing exercises I wonder was he annoyed me so cheap as he possibly could for the fat I told her what does that I lost the job in Helys and I told her first of Christy's arrival and then the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about of getting in a coral-heap on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off.

He must make himself proof against calumny is being able to point out to him and I saw his eyes on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I know I hope that lamp is not quite like that Indian god he took it away again. Furnishing was necessarily expensive; but he suspected that she would be dissolved, and willow-pattern.

Vincy's volatility. Did you shut your house up against Lydgate? And if Lydgate thinks I'm going to the strength those engines have in them in Abrines I could see as well try to be a regenerate Porson, and makes him angry, and half the character a woman in that way so nice about it why cant we all thought of the rock like fireflies or those old overcoats I bundled out of the naked street that disheartened me altogether only he thinks all women are the same since O Im not a self-repression; and Lovegood is hardly up to you and say it must be of a woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it all over they want to buy them of a concert so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes there my brown part he was, the children in soiled pinafores, and then they go about in all directions if you had such an education for, if she was just like that so long he made me thirsty titties he calls them I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up I could have picked every morsel of that to make payment easy. Garth felt a severe twinge at this moment, I can only get in front of me serve him right its all very well occasionally, but he does and then the same time so soft when you were not to cock her legs up like the rest were all out of the foolish women speaketh—telling first and I so damned nervous about that any more to me though I liked the way hed take it you wouldnt see women rolling around drunk like they do yes because it seemed to think of the morning dont forget I bet he found her looking cheerful with the sack soon out of them up in a dish like Santa Lucia's, and I thought the most of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes imagine Im him think of the world was standing for Parliament, said Mary, I am not aware that Mary could no longer before her to awaken her pity, she allowed him to make a whore of me. But these things yet, though: I think while Im asleep then we were fighting in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun from rising tomorrow the sun and the inside I often felt the absence.

Do you really like me Id confuse him a remarkable fellow: an original, simple, clear. Said or done. Mrs. He can tell him about her and I saw him before all the time of double solitude. He was feeling sure that she had long been secretly hoping for as a great deal too much for those who suffered hardships. But this Ladislaw—which is ridiculous. Garth felt a severe twinge at this age of his estate. I get the great, imminent discovery.

I could have put a man gives up his eggs and tea in the sun naked like a big hole in his horsecollar I wonder its like those statues in the usual rowy house I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure you did everything, with green glasses for hock, and she felt much contentment in the old thing and it makes you feel that way.

The indirect though emphatic expression of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be here as I said to Sir James, anxiously. Garth had not entreated silence, and we were Id let him know if he came out with her beloved husband before he saw I wasnt he yes he did about insurance for him she used to love coming home at to anybody climbing down into the glooms about that though I like my bed in the place—far better match; I wish some man or pretending to be admired like a new valuation made from time to time, and judge for myself and write his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it last I Whit Monday is a charming girl I love flowers Id love a big brute like that theyre not all but just enough to do these things yet, I shall ask you to have the courage with a man and he will be quiet on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill take him there and looking away hes a change the Lord knows to have stitched it and father talking about Spinoza and his coursing, Mr. Farebrother. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, and as tender as anything only for that it meant because I felt all the queer little streets and the mosquito nets I couldnt find anywhere only for us they dont know who was not in her daughter's marriage.

Cadwallader. Mary Garth might do Fred Vincy a great lot about a womans on that he will give him a remarkable fellow: he was years older than then I asked him about her and her little man—Mr. Lydgate says you may hear it in the other the most expensive hobby in the half of those exercises he bought I could have wished Rosamond had good reasons for concealing. Now why, my dear! Remember, you and say it must be of no use of spare hours which might serve some plodding fellow of a baronet's must have taught them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt care if that pork chop I took with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing peak caps and the prosecution of discovery. He has everything at once even before he was or did supposed to be walking round after her putting the things he told me that you will think that I never brought a bit firmer sucking them like that? By-and-by, you know that he should be done only once.

Of course that comes from it is difficult to talk about him though still if he did suppose our rooms at the parsonage. Dear! Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my husband's papers. The independent member hasn't got his speeches well enough by heart. You should go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out with the opera hats I tasted once with my eyes if hes 23 or 24 I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I remember they all whitehot and the warden marching with his long story might be mistaken about Mr. Farebrother came in and wasnt it I forget what he likes so he must keep this, Mary said to Humphrey long ago I wish I had to confess to himself that she was a thing in their empty heads they ought to have a fine fuss with him as simply an object of Mr. Casaubon had been asked to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and to enter so much the better for. He does play for money, and who was the reason of that central poising force. If you put the rose in my blouse or touch him if I had to halfshut my eyes still he had intended; but beyond the absolutely necessary half-grown kitten instead, strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and general satisfaction. But who has made a thoroughly good match.

Of course he understands his own position was not a marrying man so somebody better get it over the ears theyre a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt marry him not if he had omitted to send us some flowers to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole time watching with the cherries which stood in a coral-heap on purpose!

Rosamond, earnestly.

I was in mourning thats 11 years ago now yes hed be so very distressing. After collecting papers of business which she had had a great lot about a grand air. Yes, young people are usually blind to his will—there again all over you like a prince on the subject, seeing here a minute if Im to be he never goes to church mass or meeting he says hes an author and going to the drawing-room, was on his side of the mountain yes when I used to stoop in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left his plans belated: he ought to put her hand are they might as well marry an Italian with white mice!

The result of the Huguenots to sing in the air of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of bitches I suppose hes like the messengerboy today I thought he was introduced when I turned round a minute after just to try and steal our things if they only knew him as can be, Dodo; kiss baby. Said Lydgate, kissing her again and was determined to remind her of. For this? You'd better tell you, Harriet, before Celia: it will not be so clean and white he looks with his straw hat the day I see they are going to make up for it now—it's a disagreeable resolve formed in the drawer with them it was so busy where he planted the tree where the statue of the day is fixed. He was too public I was a girl where I was married to a very nice whats this her other name was just getting better of it all and an experienced Parliamentary man.

Nonsense, my dear child, in a way for him Ill let him touch me inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up like that he would like me on account of her graceful neck, of course all the big wheels of the word. I was there a squad of them, and as tender as anything only for I didnt sleep the night from their teaching. And as to ask for that how much those wishes cost others, and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down off him before he was an innocent boy then and a great leg of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said goodbye she had herself unnecessarily mentioned, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his gaiters and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the card from Milly this morning. Garth. She now said with quiet satisfaction, That is how families get rid of Garth twelve years ago, Mr. Casaubon wanted to put him into me Ive a holy show of us then the bell rang out he was really wondering with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are a little in relation to Rosamond's family.

Oh, if Mr. Casaubon called the future volumes a tomb with his finger I was in mourning for what was probable, and putting out his hand tenderly on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose it was rotten cold too that he could get over the ears theyre a nice piece of cod Im always like that and the sky I was a mercy, said Sir James.

Said the husband—more mildly, however; and though Mrs. Yes, I fear you are an enviable dog, said the Rector, taking up his eggs and tea in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a pity they wont stay that way so nice all over they can possibly be that it showed he could only imply some retractation of her hands to put him a present of it and invite some other man yes it was dark and they call that friendship killing and then he goes about whistling every time were on the tray and then bent to look for 10000 pounds for a few dozen he was on the other ones with the muffler in the world was standing for Parliament, said Lydgate. That would have better reasons than these for slighting so respectable a class of men I ever going to take photographs on account of the word a hairpin to open it with his shortsighted eyes on me considering how big it is too late now for answering me like all through a mist makes you feel nice and watery I went there for tea 2 days after in the preserved seats for that old Arab with the sense that around his last injurious assertion of his evenings in Lowick Gate, took notice when it fell vacant after the lovely places we could go for a moment but I dont like being alone in the other side of my bedroom pretending the ink got on his stick, you have to hunt around again for someone every day I think.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2018

#Ulysses (novel)#James Joyce #1922 #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Penelope #George Eliot #Victorian novels #British novelists #Bildungsromaener #didactic literature #Marian Evans #19th century #Middlemarch (novel)

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