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glowingspence · 3 years

Text

Extended Family

"What if Cat had Spencer's child and Spencer is left to take care of it? At least he has an old friend to help him.”

Chapter 2

Summary: Savannah and Derek take them back to their house.

Word count: 1854

Warnings: Self-harm

Ao3

Chapter 2:

"He seems to like driving in the car" Spencer assumes when his son falls asleep quickly after driving off. He sits next to him on the backseat, facing him and having one hand on his stomach. "Where will he sleep?"

"We still have the crip we used for Hank in our bedroom we never came around to put it away"

"I wanna sleep next to him."

"You can, pretty boy. You can sleep in our bed for the night and tomorrow we will rearrange stuff okay?" Derek offers and takes the next turn. "How long has he been with you?"

"This morning"

"And he drank the bottle?" Savannah questions.

"Yes, the nurses at the hospital taught me what to do and JJ was with me."

"That's good, where is Cat now?"

"Hospital and then back to prison."

"Did you see her?"

"Yes, she didn't even cry when they took him away from her." Spencer tells them. "She would have gotten sick of him pretty quickly."

"He has you so that won't happen."

"What do I do when he becomes like her?"

"That won't happen. I know you will make sure of it."

"What if he becomes like me?"

"That's a good thing don't you think?"

"No, I mean what if he is autistic to. And what if- what if schizophrenia passed onto him-"

"When he is autistic, he is lucky to be growing up with you. If someone would understand him then that's you." Savannah assures him. "And for the schizophrenia, you would know the signs and get him help but these are huge things to worry about for a one week old child, right now he seems perfectly healthy and everything else we will see."

There is silence for a few minutes. Morgan after some time recognizes what it's about. "Spencer, you won't become your father. You aren't capable. You won't hurt him on purpose I know that,kid."

"You don't know that"

"I know you, that's enough."

"He is smiling in his sleep" Spencer exclaims seconds later, flapping his hands in excitement. "Look he is smiling"

"My mom would now say that he is flirting with the angels." Savannah tells him. "Hank would do it all the time."

"You do too, pretty boy" Morgan adds. "You talk and you have strong facial expressions when you dream."

"Really?"

"Yes, sometimes I would wake up to you just bubbling in your sleep."

"You never told me that." Spencer states with a frown not taking his eyes off Theo. "I never said anything embarrassing right?"

"Of course not." There are actually a lot of moments that Morgan recalls to just have laughed at. "Maybe I should trade stories with Luke once in a while."

"No please don't make fun of me. We aren't there yet again." Hesitant Spencer touches Theo's face, let's his finger run over the tiny nose. "He is so small"

"Be aware you close your eyes once and you already feel like he grew again. Can't believe Hank can walk and talk already."

"Do you think he is going to be smart?" Spencer questions, not taking his eyes off him.

"Cat may be a bitch but she is smart as hell not even talking about your brain. I doubt that that didn't pass down on him." Morgan comments. "Besides, even if he isn't, he is gonna be one boy to fool with that father of his."

"I am gonna protect you" Spencer whispers. "Your mom isn't gonna get to you,you will always be safe"

"Come on in" Morgan opens the door to their cozy home. A light burning in the living room. "Mrs Sanchez watched Hank for the evening" He explains when the elderly woman walks into the hallway.

"Thank you again for doing this."

"Everything for that boy" She lives next to them, her grandchildren play with Hank when they are over and by now the Morgan's are invited to the family celebrations over there as well. "Oh look at that." Mrs Sanchez walks towards Spencer but he turns away facing the corner between door and wall and using himself as a protection for the kid.

Apologetic Savannah smiles at her when she takes a step back and Derek approaches Spencer putting one arm around him, making sure he isn't panicking. "It was a long night, I am sure he will love to introduce you two another day"

"Of course, call me if you need anything."

"We will, thank you again. We owe you a lovely dinner and some wine."

"I will come back to that." She responds with a wink and leaves through the door.

"Spencer, why don't you go upstairs with Derek and take a shower and I get Theo to his crip?" Savannah offers with a warm smile.

"No"

"You can trust her" Derek tries encouraging him and wipes his hair back behind his ear, it's greasy from the days he spent at the hospital, fearing that Cat is gonna hurt their child. "It's okay, give him to her. She is gonna make sure he feels safe okay?"

"No"

"Okay, we can show you how to do that? Is that okay? Can we get him to bed together?" Savannah offers.

"Yes"

"Then we need to go upstairs okay?" Concerned Derek looks at him, his whole body is shaking, his pale face isn't helping his imagine. He is pretty sure Spencer has done nothing to make sure he is okay himself over the last few days. He can't imagine the terror Spencer must have gone through while staying at the hospital, a place he hates with every cell of his body. "Do you want Savannah to carry him upstairs?"

"Please"

"Alright she is gonna take him from you."

"But give him back." Spencer pleads not letting go.

"Of course, we are just gonna get upstairs okay?"

"Yes" Sceptical he let's Savannah take him.

"Spencer I need to ask you this-" Derek starts and gently turns him towards him holding both of his arms. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I want to follow Savannah"

"We can, just give your attention to me for a moment because you don't look very healthy right now."

"I need to get to my baby"

"Spencer!" Derek calls out louder, making him flinch and finally look at him. "When was the last time you took your medication?"

"Don't take them anymore. Stopped a while ago."

"Is this discussed with your therapist?"

"Hate her, don't wanna go back there." Spencer starts rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Kid-"

"Don't wanna take them again."

"How long have you been of them?"

"Since prison." He admits and looks at the stairs waiting for Derek to allow him to follow his baby.

"I think they would help you right now. I think they would help a lot."

"I am not taking them again! And I am not going back to her she doesn't understand." Spencer steps back with force and starts hitting his head against the wall. "She doesn't understand. No one understands. No one understands. Only Garcia understands."

"What do we not understand?"

"Don't understand." He repeats and keeps on hitting his head while Morgan holds onto him. "Garcia understands."

"Okay do you want me to call Garcia?"

"No, Garcia understands."

"You mean your autism?"

"Dr Preece wanted to fix me. Don't wanna be fixed. Luke said she shouldn’t be a therapist. Luke said not to listen to everything she says. Don't wanna be fixed like that."

"I know, I am not fixing you I promise come on, you are safe. You are safe here, kid. We aren't doing anything with you you don't want. We are gonna keep you two safe. I promise you, it's okay." He wraps his arms around him, pulling him close and pushing his hand between his head and wall. "I've got you. I've got you, you are safe with me."

Spencer struggles for a moment longer until quiet barks ring through the room and Spencer stops dead I tracks. "We have a puppy" interested Spencer looks in the direction of the sound. “You wanna see her?”

"Puppy"

"Come with me. Her name is Patch"

"Does she bite?"

"No she doesn't." Morgan leads Spencer through their kitchen holding his hand and then steps into the dining room that is the closest room to the backyard and turns on the light. "She is in a cage. We can get her out if you want."

"We can get her out if you want"

"Alright" Derek crouches down next to the cage and opens it, while Spencer kneels down. "Come here sweetie we got a guest who likes to meet you."

"Come here." Hesitantly Spencer hits the floor with his palm. "Do you have any treats?"

"Sure"

"Can I have some to feed to her?"

"If course give me a second." He hears Theo crying when he walks into the kitchen to get them and just hopes Spencer doesn't. "There you go"

He hands Spencer the small bag with treats and crouches down behind him, steadying himself with one arm at Spencer's waist, feeling him flinch away first.

"Come here" Spencer holds the treat out and Peach slowly pats towards her. "Good girl."

"If it were up to Hank she would be fed all day with this"

"I always sneak in snacks for Roxy"

"Who is Roxy?"

"Roxy is Luke's dog. Sometimes he brings her in for office days and I can have her at my desk all day." He tells him while patting the puppy.

"That must be nice"

"It is" He watches Spencer lean down and cuddle his cheek against his fur and sighting comfortably and Derek wants to slap himself for not thinking about taking Clooney to the office back then. It's obvious that it seems like dogs have a calming effect on him. "She is very adorable."

"I love her too." Derek carefully pats her and is positive that Spencer at this point ignores the crying from Theo. If it's on purpose or not he can't tell. "What do you think about getting to bed? We can do everything else tomorrow okay? Slowly."

"With Peach?"

"We are gonna leave her downstairs but tomorrow she will walk around in the house the cage just for overnight and for when we aren't here until she is old enough."

"Alright" Spencer pats her one last time and then places her into the cage. "Sleep tight, I will see you tomorrow."

"Let's get you to bed too." He leads him upstairs and into their bedroom where Theo is laying in the crip, whines coming from him while Savannah tries comforting him and Spencer passes by them, sitting down on the bed his back turned towards him. "Alright, here is something you can change into okay?"

"Thank you" Tired he starts unbuttoning his shirt and slips into Morgan's shirt while he ignores the scratches over his chest and then changes into sweatpants before laying down on the bed letting Morgan tuck him in.

"Just sleep we are gonna take care of him."

"I never wanted him."

"I know we will figure this out."

#my writing #extended family au #spencer reid #derek morgan #platonic moreid #savannah hayes #autistic spencer reid #cm fic

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years

Text

MerMay 2021 Day Fourteen TridentCorp

This was no place for children to be running around. While there was nothing particularly dangerous in the rooms of the Institute, researchers kept giving the pair of twelve year olds sideways looks. They might break one of the tanks and cause water to pour out onto the floor, or mess around with some of the files and get them all out of order. Nobody actively stopped them, but everyone had an expression of “whose kids are those and why are they here?”

“Okay, I’m bored,” Sereia declared, hanging off the doorknob of a nearby door and causing it to swing on its hinges. “Do you wanna go see what Mom and Dad are doing, or do you want to look at more nerd stuff?”

“Nah, I’m bored, too.” Muirin had been staring at a tank of starfish, but they weren’t exactly doing anything. “We’ve seen everything.”

“Alright, c’mon then.”

The two of them left, heading over to an area near the back of the Institute, far away from any entrances. They slipped past a few secure-looking doors, seeming quite proud of themselves for being able to do so, until they came to a room near the corner. This room was made to look as friendly as possible, with wide windows, walls painted a pale blue, and a pair of sofas. Though perhaps this cheerful appearance was undermined by the large tank of water in the center, surrounded by various strange equipment. Next to it was a smaller tank on wheels, with a tarp on the floor that had been used to cover it.

“We’re back!” Sereia announced, slamming the door behind her and Muirin. “What’s up?”

Stacy immediately looked up. “Everything went alright? You didn’t get in any trouble?”

“Mom, please, would we tell you if we did?” Sereia said.

The other woman in the room, wearing a bright yellow shirt underneath a jacket with the words ‘Institute of Marine Biology’ written on the back, laughed. “Ah, Reia, you get sassier every time I see you.”

Sereia looked proud at that. “Thanks, Aunt Roxy!”

“Nothing happened,” Muirin said, playing with the visitor’s pass in a lanyard around his neck. “Except people looking at us weird. Did anything happen in here?”

“Not much,” Stacy assured them. “Right, Chase?”

Chase was in the smaller tank, the one with wheels—or, well, actually, he was half out of it, pretty much leaving only his tail in the water, and leaning over into the other tank. For a moment, he didn’t look away from the merm floating in the other tank. Jack. Asleep as ever, tethered to those strange machines that served a variety of purposes, from nutrition to monitoring his condition. There hadn’t been any change in the past few months. Chase had been chattering to him in the strange merm language, but he’d gone silent a few minutes ago and just held Jack’s hand. It took a solid few seconds for Stacy’s question to register. “Hmm?” Chase looked up, and nodded, waving at the kids. “Hi, shellies. Have fun?”

“Yeah, Dad, don’t worry,” Muirin said. “It was pretty cool.”

“Well the fish were cool, when we saw them,” Sereia modified.

Roxy looked troubled. “You didn’t touch any of the tanks, did you? A lot of the fish and sea creatures we have are being kept because they were found injured. Tapping or anything wouldn’t be good for them.”

“No, we know that, don’t worry!” Muirin hurried to add.

Stacy laughed a bit.

“Oh? What’s so funny?” Roxy asked.

“It just occurred to me that it’s strange how we both went into the fish business,” Stacy chuckled, shaking her head. “I mean, I had a good reason to be interested in fish—” Chase made a clicking sound, like an amused dolphin. “—but you? Well, I guess you just had to do everything I did.”

“But better,” Roxy rebutted. “I am a scientist, and you are an aquarium lady.”

“Well, guess who’s dating the actual merman out of the two of us?”

“Yeah, well. I guess you win on that end.” Roxy looked upset, but behind her back, the two kids looked at each other and rolled their eyes in unison, knowing it wasn’t that serious. “Anyway, let me know when you guys are ready to head ou—”

A radio on Roxy’s belt crackled. “Hey Roxanne? You there? I think something’s up.”

Roxy frowned, and picked up. “What is it, Dan?”

“There’s this weird group of visitors that showed up. They’re heading your way. We’ve tried to distract them, but the lady in charge is insisting she sees you, and someone told her where you were. She’s getting really close to, uh...that room.”

Roxy paled. “Don’t worry, I got it.” She hung her radio back on the belt. “You guys be careful, okay?”

The family nodded silently, and Chase squeezed Jack’s hand harder.

Quickly, Roxy left the room, and was barely out in the hall when she saw the group that she’d been told about. About five of them, all unfamiliar, with four of them wearing dark blue jackets with silver highlights, and the woman in front wearing a long blue coat. Hiding any nervousness she might’ve felt, Roxy walked over to greet them with a smile, not noticing the small form of a twelve-year-old girl following her.

“Hello!” Roxy said cheerfully. “I don’t think I recognize any of you? Did we do a partnership I wasn’t aware of?”

The woman in front stopped, and the rest of her group along with her. “Roxanne Aguado?” She asked.

“Yes, that’s me. What can I do for you?”

“I’m Dr. Lise Ester, we are from TridentCorp.” Ester smiled. Her voice was slightly accented. “We hear you are doing great things at this institute.”

“Me? Specifically?” Roxy laughed. “I’m flattered, but it’s not just me. We have a whole team here studying ocean life and helping them out. Um...if I may ask, what is TridentCorp? I’ve never heard of it.”

“TridentCorp,” Ester repeated, tapping the lapel of her coat. There was a small logo there, a blue patch with a silver trident and a ring of circling fish. “We are oceanographers and marine biologists, much like here. We seek to understand the sea and all its creatures. I am surprised you have not heard of us, Dr. Aguado. We are well known, particularly in Europe.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.” Roxy cleared her throat. “Would you like a tour?”

“No thank you, we have already received offers, and declined them.”

“Oh, are you sure? I’d love to show you some of our work. What are your specialties? We aren’t equipped for too many large animals, so there aren’t any dolphins or whales, but of course we have a lot of smaller fish—”

“We have heard a great deal about this location, Dr. Aguado,” Ester interrupted. “And we have heard you have made large discoveries in sea life.”

“Discoveries? I wouldn’t say that.” Roxy tried very hard not to glance over her shoulder at the room. “We haven’t found any new species or anything like that.”

“Really? Are you sure?” Ester insisted. “I was told you would know something about it.”

“No, afraid not. Who did you hear that from?”

“A coworker of yours.” Ester leaned around Roxy and glanced further down the hall. “What is in this area?”

“Well, if you’d let me give you a tour, you’d know,” Roxy laughed, a bit too loud. “Um, it’s mostly staff stuff, like breakrooms, you know.”

“Unusual that the staff areas would be in the section of the building over the water,” Ester hummed. “Usually, they would make use of that, and put many large tanks here, or pump water to smaller ones, at least.”

“Well, I...guess you do things differently over in Europe,” Roxy said. This wasn’t working. Ester was very much leaning forward, and the rest of her group was getting impatient, shuffling about and gradually moving closer. She really needed to distract them, but—

“Hey! Where are you from?!”

Luckily, a distraction arrived in the form of a very energetic twelve-year-old. Sereia, who’d been hiding and listening from behind Roxy, had also picked up on the vibes Ester and her TridentCorp group were giving off. So she burst forth, practically jumping up and down as she let her mouth run a million miles a minute. “You said you’re from Europe, right? Are you, like, French? Why is your company name in English if you’re French? How’d you get here, on an airplane?”

Ester looked taken aback. Her expression practically screamed ‘what’s with this sassy lost child?’ “Ah...your...daughter, Dr. Aguado?”

“Oh, uh, this is my niece,” Roxy said. “She and her brother are visiting today.”

“I’m Sereia Aguado, twelve and a half, nice to meet you!” Sereia said loudly. “Did you fly first class on your airplane from France? I want to fly first class one day, I hear you get a foot rest!”

“I—young lady, I am German, not French,” Ester said haltingly. “Though not everyone on our staff is. And our company name is in English because—”

“Oh do you speak German, then? I want to take German as an elective in junior high! Mom says I should take Spanish but I already know some Spanish ‘cause my grandma and grandpa speak it a lot, and if I can understand it, I think it’s good enough. School is already boring, anyway, I don’t want to be even more bored. But Muirin, he’s my brother, weirdly likes school, but actually I think he just says that, he’s probably just okay with it but since he’s smart he’s supposed to like it—”

“Well, thank you for your time, Dr. Aguado,” Ester suddenly said, backing up and indicating for the rest of the group to follow her. “It is clear you are busy today, so we will return and discuss this another time. Does next week work for you?”

“Yeah, sure.” Roxy tried not to sound too relieved. “Feel free to make an appointment with us!”

“Yes, of course.” Ester and the group from TridentCorp turned and left back the way they came, though Ester continued to look back over her shoulder occasionally, as if expecting to see something.

The moment they were out of sight, Roxy breathed a sigh of relief. “Reia, that was amazing,” she whispered.

Sereia beamed. “Thanks!”

The two of them turned and reentered the room, surprised to see it changed a bit. The tarp on the floor had been flung over the tanks, but being meant for only one, it only half-covered both of them. Stacy and Muirin were lying on the floor, trying to physically block the bottoms of the tanks visible. But upon seeing Roxy and Sereia, they relaxed a bit. “No one’s coming, then?” Stacy asked.

“Nope,” Roxy shook her head. “Thanks to Reia, here. Get the kids a treat on the way home.”

Relieved, Stacy stood up and started pulling the tarp off the tanks. Muirin raised a corner and said, “It’s fine, no one’s here!” That caused a flurry of motion from under the tarp, inside the tank, and with some splashing Chase managed to push the tarp off. “All fine?” He asked, expression drawn and worried.

Roxy nodded. “All fine. I’ll take care of it if they ever come back, which...they might.” She hesitated. “Listen, uh...Chase. I think they know about your friend here. The woman in charge, Dr. Ester, she made comments about sea life ‘discoveries.’ I...can’t think of anything else that could mean.”

Chase went even paler than usual. He leaned back over to the other tank, looking down at Jack, asleep and defenseless. A few whistling, chattering words full of vowels came from his mouth, and the others didn’t have to speak the language to pick up on the fearful tone. “We need...to wake him up,” Chase decided. “Now.”

Stacy nodded, and looked over at Roxy. “Have you figured out anything?”

Roxy shook her head sadly. “We’re unfamiliar with their biologies in the first place, but it just seems like he’s...asleep.”

Muirin and Sereia wandered over, joining Chase in staring at Jack. “Dad...?” Muirin said quietly. “What about—I-I think it’s a bad idea, but...the way he got like this...has to be reversed in the same way...you know. Right?”

Chase nodded absentmindedly, eyes flicking up to a screen on one of the weird machines. He had no idea what they did, but he knew what that green line, going up and down, meant. “Maybe. I’ll ask the others.”

Roxy cleared her throat. “I’m not sure what that means, but in any case, you shouldn’t leave right at this moment. We should make sure those guys from TridentCorp are completely gone first.”

The others all murmured in agreement.

Outside, a couple of black vans were pulling away from the Institute building, all with the logo of a silver trident and fish on a blue background stamped onto their sides. Dr. Ester sat inside one of them, talking on the phone. “Sie haben definitiv einen. Aguado verhielt sich furchtbar misstrauisch. Sie bemühte sich sehr, nicht in die Halle hinter sich zu schauen.” She paused. “Nein, wir sollten ein wenig warten. We don't want to look strange.” Another pause. “Mach dir keine Sorgen, Sir. Sie werden unserem Streben nach Wissenschaft nicht im Wege stehen.” And with that, she hung up. She wasn’t about to lose this second one.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticeye au #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #brigid writes fanfiction #mermay snippets

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bahrlee · 4 years

Text

Suck the blood from my Wound

Enter: Raph the Womf

🦇🦇🦇chapter 5: Impossible🦇🦇🦇

The next day, the three girls were reported as dead due to…. Throat related injuries. They didnt go into much detail as to not disgust or trigger their viewer's, they just mentioned the basics---they were found in the woods with their throats ripped out, bitemarks present---but still. It left him a little nauseous, and nervous. They were only in kindergarten, and here they were, viciously mangled buy someone in the woods during probably one of the happiest day of their lives. He tried to connect Dook too the crime, that would so obviously point to him, but there was just something so off about it in the first place. Were vampire fangs that strong enough to pull out a little girls trachea? Mitzi would definitely think so, in fact he remembered she said so.

Even though it was still offputting, he didnt let that ruin his day. He needed to get his house back to its former glory since that weird night. He found it hard to go on with his day, however, since there was an unpleasantness in the air that couldnt be ignored. Everyone all day was looking over their shoulders, hugging themselves, holding their children close to them as they walked down the streets. He has never seen a mother walk so quickly from him, a man with long blonde hair wearing cargo shorts a a shirt with flamingos on it. They were scared of any man, he guessed, since men always seemed to be the killers. Even ones who look like theyd surfed since they were toddlers. Which reminded him that he needed to surf again soon. Ever since Fatz left, he never found the motivation to hop on a board for awhile. But for now, today's goal: paint over the scratches on the wall. He was so happy it was only the paint that chipped, no actually wall damage, because he didnt know how to fix something like that. He wasnt good at fixing things.

The inside of the store was just as somber. Mothers pulling their kids from the toy isle when they usually let them explore it by themselves, the newspaper wrack was completely empty, things were just so different. It was only one murder, and everyone was losing it, like Ted Bundy was on the loose. And it was only one murder. Well, three, but it was all done at once. Who knows what would happen when or if another one happened? Who knows what would happen if they found out that a possible culprit was a vampire? That was too scary to think about, so he stopped and went to go get him some paint. He didnt even know what to do about the carpet yet.

Heck, what was he going to do about anything anymore since the possibilities seemed endless, now that there was a vampire loose through town.

🦇🦇🦇

He stayed up late, but for the last couple days hes been staying up TOO late, trying to contemplate what he has learned. He just lived his life. Making a deal to become some sort of spy, getting himself involved in a rivalry between two different cryptids who treated it as though it were the civil war, except one of the sides wasnt even aware of what was happening and what the other was planned against them.

Just like he predicted, he didnt see him that much. For the first day, he once again had nothing to report to Mitzi. The next day, same thing. He hasn't seen him since their conversation at Roxys. She did return her part of the deal, providing the conversations you usually had with a friend. He even sat in the water with her, so she didnt have to be in such shallow places. That case if anyone walked by they wouldnt see the rest of her. They didnt get too deep, just stories, small talk, interesting things about being a sea monster and vice versa since even though she lived a double life she didnt exactly know too much, the normal stuff. She seemed a little upset he hasn't seen him, but it's not like he was seeking him out every single day. He wasnt a stalker. What a funny turn of events that would be though, if the HUMAN turned out to be the stalker instead of the vampire. That would be interesting. He hoped she didnt cut the deal off, and kept explaining to her why stalking is actually a bad thing, feeling shamefully desperate. But he couldnt help it, he had no friends.

He crossed his fingers, however, that they would cross paths again, both to satisfy Mitzi, and to see him again. He was so torn, when he spotted him acrossed the room at a comedy club while out with Fatz, he didnt know if he should go up to him.

🦇🦇🦇

He preferred to sit in the back of everywhere, appearently. Maybe because it was so dark, and secluded, that he wouldnt be called out by the comic onstage at this particular place. Although it felt so out of place for him to be anywhere in town, or anywhere around town, really. Maybe theres this whole council of vampires, and hes on a mission right now given to him by them. Maybe he just liked to hang out at relatively dark places, or examine the nature of mortals. Or…. Maybe he was looking for his next victim, adult and in the next town this time, to mix it up a little.

His shoes were glowing this time. Similar to the vintage boots he wore, but this time the stars and crescent moons lit up. That was enough to mesmerize him.

"Whatcha looking at there, Beach?" Fatz asked, noticing his glances.

"Well obviously that boy over there." Esmeralda answered him instead of Beach. That was the thing with her, she answered all of Fatz' questions, even when directed to him, or somebody else.

"Hes a new guy. Met him at the movies once." Beach explained.

"Guess we didnt have to order you food tonight then," Esmeralda quipped. "You got yourself a nice meal right over there."

"Esme, I tried to flirt with him, okay? It's like flirting with Wednesday Addams child if she had a baby with the Willy Wonka from Tim Burtons awful adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." He angrily drank his coke.

"Maybe you're just a bad flirt, you know?"

"Oh be quiet, Esmeralda. Beach is fine. Hes charming!" Fatz retorted enthusiastically.

"If you're so charming, go up to him. Say hi. Buy him a drink." Esmeralda advised.

"He doesnt drink." Beach quickly reverbed.

"Well now why doesnt he drink?"

Because hes a vampire, future Mrs. Geronimo.

"I dont know. I jus know hes not much for actually living in the moment you know, he just…." He turned and looked at him again, his head so obviously in the clouds. "....Kind of observes everything."

"You always go for the types that just sit there and look pretty, dont you?" Fatz said. He always questioned his type. The very monotone, 'too cool for school' men who tended to be more introverted and less talkative, two opposites of Beach. He liked his conversations. He was one of the best people to converse with because he kept it going. But he always went for the guys who's social skills were a bit stale. At least that's what Fatz thought, the truth was hes been with men of all kinds, Fztz only saw the shy guys, who were much less sh the more you got to know them. Fatz just tended to hold onto first impressions a little longer than he should.

"Shut up, quit acting like you know my type." He glowered.

"Cant deny it, Beach." He shrugged.

Some friend he was.

Esmeralda checked the time on her phone. "Fatz, its 10."

"Oh, what? Its 10 already?" He said.

"Yeah! We gotta go Beach, we're sorry. We gotta get sleep so we catch our flight to Louisiana for my family reunion tomorrow." She said.

A little mad that they were leaving, but understanding he had no control over it, he let them leave. He wasnt going to be too petty about it. Speak of Louisiana, however… he turned and saw Dook there, legs crossed, shows glowing---he still couldnt get over that, he wanted glowing shoes now---his eyes fixated on nothing.

Now that he was alone, he could probably try to talk with him. Mustering up his courage, he stood up, forgetting how tall he was for a moment and feeling a bit clumsy, and walked over to him. He seemed to be really deep in his own mind, because when he said hello, he jumped.

"Jesus christ!" He exclaimed. "What?!"

He held up a hand and waved. "Hello."

He exhaled loudly, giving him the stink eye, genuinely annoyed by his presence. "What the hell are you everywhere I go?" He spoke, putting emphasis on every word.

"Just find it funny that we find each other everywhere."

"No, you come up to me, say your shit, trying to get into my pants or whatever."

These non-mortals sure had some big mouths on them. But he guessed if they cant even get along within their world, of course they dont put any care into their interactions with humans. Was this his life now? Getting yelled at by two overgrown leeches for the rest of his days?

"No, I just came over here to say I like your shoes." He said. "You dont drink alcohol, but do you drink soda?" He recalled him drinking something at the movies.

Dook pointed to the soda on the table. "Little too late for that, man."

Dangit.

"Why are you so rude?" He asked him. "Why cant you just talk to me like a normal person without everything coming out of your mouth being a nasty comment? Why cant I just treat you nicely and be treated nicely back, huh?"

Dook slightly smirked at him. "Ficety."

Beach was a tad frustrated, but it only made him want to try harder. "No, you're ficety. I'm just trying to talk to you."

"You a nice guy?"

"No, I'm Beach."

And he finally heard him legitimately laugh. He was surprised at how audacious it was, and how much it revealed about him---he was a pretty goofy person. He seemed to be one for jokes, and humor. "Oh my god, alright, you're pretty funny, you can stay I guess. Sit down."

He obliged, feeling like he just achieved something impossible.

"So, Beach, if that's even you're real name, which I know it isnt, go ahead. Make this a speed date. Tell me a-a bit about yourself."

"Um…. Well…. I like surfing, and writing---I was an english major, actually---"

"Oh, interesting. Tell me something smart."

His mind drew a blank.

"Oh yes, wonderful. Did you uh, drop out or anything?"

"No, finished all four years. First one in my family not to drop out to persue a career as a rockstar, actually." He babbled, just excited to be getting through to him in any way.

"Huh. Interesting. I never went to college." He stirred the straw in his soft drink, smiling modestly.

"Did you drop out to become a rockstar?"

He thought for a moment. "Eh, kinda just happened. My dad forced me to play in a band when I was a sophmore. Actually, uh, enjoyed it and decided to stick with it for awhile. After that, I sang with my sister for a bit, and then something happened, and now I'm here."

"Huh." He knew what the thing was. He was immortalized. "Tell me about her."

"She lives back home. Three kids. A bit older than me, that's why she already has three. School music teacher." He said.

"Cool. I have a brother who's much older than me. Not as cool, kinda mean." He sighed.

"Hm, not very close to anyone, are you? I always see you alone. Guess that's why you bother me a lot."

He shook his head. "Yeah, my one friend who was just here a moment ago left, and hes been drifting away a bit. Everyone else is a workmate or an acquaintance."

Dook pulled the sleeves to his shirt over his hands and placed them under head chin. He was so obsessed with the way he dressed he couldnt handle it. "No wonder you're up the new guys ass."

Beach couldnt help be giggle. He was glad he was funny.

Dook reached over and grabbed one of those tiny pencils used to fill in Keno cards, and a napkin, and wrote something down. "Guess I'll amuse you for now." He slid it over to him. It was his number.

"Oh my god." He did it. It was out of pity, so obviously out of pity, but he got his number.

And finally, the late night comedy club announced its next act, after a long while of radio silence. The emcee came on stage, everyone cheered, well except for Dook who just glared up at him---well not really glare, he just seemed to have a case of a resting tired face, which wasnt necessarily a bad thing, but it still looked funny---seemingly board of every comedy routines seen tonight.

"Sorry for the delay everyone, we just had a minor difficulty with some of our guest comics tonight. But thankfully, one of them came prepared. Please everyone, give it up for Rolfe DeWolfe, and his no-so-friendly sidekick, little Earl Schmerle.

Once again everyone cheered accept Dook, who's eyes widened, a little stunned by his presence. The comedian, clad in a plaid vest and black undershirt, with a wacky voice and a yellow puppet on his hand, smiled and thanked the audience for being there.

"I knew he was here." Dook murmured.

"What---"

"Beach."

"Yeah?"

He leaned down, and turned his shoes off. "Can we leave?"

"Why?"

His eyes were locked on the comedian in a strange, prey-like state. "Hes not that funny."

It was very obvious it was not because of that reason, but of course he couldnt point it out.

He stood up slowly, creeping quietly (or as quietly one could walk in heels) through the dim room, as Rolfe and the puppet began their routine. Yes, Dook was actually correct, the routine was…. Meh. It made you smile, not laugh. But of course that wasnt the point if the whole thing going on right now, was it? He copied his moves, standing up and moving quietly, this time actually quiet because of the fact he was wearing actual shoes.

Beach Bear copied him, slinking out of his seat and following him to the door. They slipped out, into the warm night. The way he just…. Stared at him. He was going to take note of that. If only he remembered the name of whomever was onstage.

"So um…. What are we doing now?" He asked him.

"Ummm…. I dont really know." He laughed nervously.

"What do you know about that person in there?" He asked. "Seemed a little more than 'hes not funny.'"

He sighed. "You dont wanna know." He said.

Beach had a few guesses.

Dook shrugged and looked around, still a little alert. "We can just…."

"Take a walk?" He guessed.

"I mean…. Why not?"

The more time to get to know him.

🦇🦇🦇

He dodged any personal questions, and the ones he did answer, he didnt go too deep into it. Simple, vague answers. No names of people, no small anecdotes, no detail. They did just meet anyways, of course he was valid for keeping most things for himself. Beach already knew things he was keeping from him anyways. He seemed a bit more anxious than usual, however, seeing that puppeteer onstage seemed to shake him a bit. Genuinely worried about how disoriented he seemed, he asked him if he were okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. If-if I go into it, itll just…" he trailed off.

"Oh, okay. Just…. Making sure. You need to sit down or something?"

He shook his head. "I said I'm fine." He repeated.

"Like I said, just making sure." He sighed.

He hoped that not every moment between them would have some kind of stale silence between them. It was starting to get annoying at this point.

"Wait." Dook stopped, so he stopped, a little confused.

Dook crouched down and turned back on his shoes. "There. Better." He smiled, as if those shoes were the source of his pride and joy.

"Whered you even get those shoes?" He asked him.

"Goodwill."

"Huh. Are they battery powered or something?"

"Yeah. Batteries go in the heels." He said.

"You dress very cool."

"Um…. Okay, uh, thanks I guess." He laughed modestly. "You dress like you play beer pong."

He snorted, realizing it was entirely true. "But I'm serious. You're just… unapologetically bold in the way you dress. And I can tell you dress because you like it and not for attention, because you certainly dont seem like the type who likes all eyes on them." He explained.

"Well, yeah. Nobody can tell me what to wear, so…" he shrugged. "Many people think I'm a girl at first, but…. You know, whatever. I-I like it."

"Same thing about the mullet?"

He laughed again, covering his mouth shyly. "I mean…"

"It looks good on you though, not everyone can pull off a look like that."

Dook shrugged, grabbing the long part of his hair. "Yeah. I guess."

The streets were so serene when they were empty. Even though there was the abduction of three little girls who were found dead the next morning, and he might be standing next to the culprit, the night still felt so welcoming, and calm. Something about the street lights shining down on the sidewalk, the neon of the open signs in almost every window, the clearness of the night sky which he caught Dook glimpsing up at in awe once every few minutes.

"You like space?" He asked.

"Yeah. When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut." He said. "When um… playing with the band I always said I was gonna play with them until I could go to space." He said. "Didn't happen, though."

"Do you still wanna go there?"

"I mean, yeah, it would be cool."

The way the stars glistened in his eyes as he looked up at them in complete amazement.

"I feel the same way about the sea. I wanted to go underwater, like, in a submarine, for my whole life, just to explore. Don't you think it's weird how we know our moon better than our sea?"

He thought for a moment, looking a little hazed, maybe from the way the waning moon was shining down on them, distracting him from the real world. He seemed to be the type with an imagination.

"I can't believe every single one of those is a star up there. Every single one." Dook said. He began wiggling his fingers a bit in excitement.

He's never seen him impressed before. Maybe he should try and use space theme pick up lines to flirt, maybe then he'll notice him. But the only one he could think of was the classic your ass is out of this world joke, which he didn't think was a very cool one to throw his way. He might get punched in the face. He also was way too tired of thinking of something. These late night outings were really starting to get to him. It wasn't even that late out, compared to how late he usually stayed out.

"How close were you to achieving your submarine dream?" He asked him.

"I surf. That's about as close. I love it." He responded.

"Ah. The closest I got was space camp as a kid." He ran his fingers through the bangs and his mullet.

Beach put his hands in his pockets and kicked a rock into the road.

"Didya try going into biology or something to get into the ocean?" He asked.

"Oh no, my science grades were…. Not too good. I majored in english." He answered.

"How old are you?"

"23." He said. "What about you?"

Dook froze for a moment, thinking. Probably doing math in his head, which he probably wasn't very good at, from the way he snuck his fingers out to count. He didn't know why he was assuming so much from the little things, but he was.

"21." He finally said.

So he must've been 21 when he was turned into a vampire. And from the looks, it was in the 80s. Now he was wondering a lot. How did one even get turned into a vampire? He tried remembering back to Stoker's Dracula, Sookie Stackhouse, vampire chronicles, heck, even twilight. A bite? Excessive drinking of the blood? Canoodling with your partner, accidentally killing her, because vampires are apparently that strong (he hoped that wasn't the way, if anything that happened in twilight was true he'd probably run over to Stephanie Meyers house and drink HER blood)? All these questions he couldn't ask, because he didn't tell him. It was probably a very hard thing to tell in the first place. Mitzi was always incognito, and had a human end a close friendship with her once they found out about her secret, so he wasn't too surprised Dook was the same way. Mitzi was merely a teen, but Dook has been around for awhile---how many times was his heart broken by both partners and friends fearing him once they found out?

"So you're a drummer, right?" Beach asked. He couldn't be in his own head for too long.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Howd you get into drumming?"

"Band. You know…. School band."

"Huh, cool. I played Tenor sax."

"So you like Rush and have a strong disliking towards cornets." He assumed.

"Stereotypes, really?"

He shrugged. "What? You know it's true."

"Well then…. Since you're a percussionist I believe that you yell yeehaw any chance you get, have weak lungs, and have an affinity for Oingo Boingo."

He looked to his side with a knowing smile. "I mean I do like Oingo Boingo---"

"HA!"

"What? You just proved my point!"

They both started laughing, the feeling of their bond growing a bit stronger.

"What chair were you?" He asked.

"Always like…. Second. Third. I'm not the best. And…. Lemme guess, you were first chair a-and got all the solos?"

He shrugged. "We only had two in the top band, what can I say?"

He liked the constant laughter between them. It was a good sign, he believed. Laughter was an important step to any kind of relationship. If you couldn't see yourselves traveling the world as a comedic duo, what was the point? So his Hope's were set high, just as a love sick gay person should be.

🦇🦇🦇

When they walked back to the club (both of their cars were there, they couldn't just walk home), Dooks goodbye was surprisingly hasty. Maybe he didn't want to encounter that guy that was here earlier, in case he was still loitering about, because his eyes carried the same alertness they did at the moment he spotted him. But he had his number now, an all powerful thing that Mitzi would be very happy to hear. He went to his car, very proud of what he accomplished, happy he finally got through to him enough to get to know a little more. When he had his hand on the handle, however, he heard something… interesting. A struggle of a woman was what he could compare it most to. He heard a male voice, one that wasn't Dooks, saying something. Remembering Dooks quick exit off of centerstage, he was inclined to follow the sound. He followed it to the side of the building, where he could clearly hear a woman's muffled screams. He could also hear the words from the other, currently disembodied voice, urging on whomever had her pinned.

"You want to starve, Dook? You can't just not feed for three months then go purge on woodland creatures for the next week!" The voice scolded.

Against the wall, he peaked over the corner, and saw the sight of Dook with a terrified blonde against the wall, fangs out, the pure look of struggle, and willpower in his face as he bit his lip, as to resist his urge to plunge them into her neck. The other dude was the comedy man, mister Ralph whats-his-name (man no wonder he was performing in a small comedy parlor in a small town in florida), was trying to egg him on to make the kill. Dook opened his mouth, obviously starving, but unwilling to bring harm upon the poor, unsuspecting patron, and turned away, dropping her to the ground. She shot up and scrambled away, probably scared for life. He turned back around the corner, hoping he wasn't spotted.

"Come on, Dook!" Comedian guy huffed at him. "Why can't you just be like every other vampire planet? Why do I have to force I yoh human blood?!"

"I mean…. ED?" He responded, scared but able to respond in his usual way.

"You were turned into a vampire to get rid of that." He groaned, tired, but seemingly used to his sass.

"Well that didn't work, did it---" there was a thump against the wall.

He turned to peak again. This time it was Dook against the wall. He had a hold of him with his shirt. He pulled out something in his pocket, and from closer examination, he made out the classic---a wooden stake, fit to kill any vampire with a stab to the heart. He lightly placed it against his chest, Dook visibly shaking, and struggling with all his might.

"You'll reap what you sow, Dook. If you don't follow orders, if you don't keep yourself alive for the better of your kind, you'll pay." He threatened.

Dook brought up his leg and kicked his stomach, the comedian losing grip on him and falling back, the stake falling to the ground.

"My kind is human, got it? I'm not doing anything for a vampire, or a werewolf, or-or for anyone, really!"

"Was human, Dook. You're one of us now, and you have to accept it. You do the duties bestowed upon you, I wouldn't be on your tail all the time!" He got up.

"Fuck you." He replied. The comedian screamed and threw his fists at him, only smacking against the brick as Dook flew out of the way.

"I can't believe I was assigned to you, my god!" He seethed.

"Then LEAVE!" He shouted.

"I won't, because I'm not disobeying my orders! It's my job to keep people like you in check and I'm sticking by it until the end of time, like what i'm supposed to do. I'm going to keep following you until you feed on humans, turn humans, and be grateful you died in our hands."

They both stared at each other silently, eyes fixed on the other with intimidating adrenaline.

"If you don't, you're dead. And I'll make sure of it. I'll make sure you don't up and head out of town this time."

"You wish."

He grabbed him by the shirt again, and began pulling him to the front.

Terrified, he turned back around, eyes wide.

Mitzi was gonna have a ball, hearing this.

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ooihcnoiwlerh · 5 years

Text

The Dirt!Tommy Lee imagine Pt 1

So I made a post a week ago mentioning a dream I had that inspired this very long fic of which I’m posting this first part. I want to preface this by saying that while I really enjoyed The Dirt as a movie, I also don’t want to glamorize or ignore the faults of the men behind Motley Crue. I’ve also never written fanfiction about a musician, let alone fanfiction about a slightly fictionalized version of a musician. And this is definitely more about the film version of Tommy Lee than the man himself.

She was fresh out of college and brand new in LA, applying for work and living on someone’s couch when she first heard them, and she was hooked.

Sher certainly enjoyed the sound, which reminded her a little of the independent punk scene back in New York, but the look of it—the theatricality of it—inspired her. Four years studying production design with the hopes of applying it to a film and theatre career, she decided, led her here to these people. They had massive budget ideas with limited money for a limited space and she wanted to help them expand.

She kept trying to work up the courage to speak with them, and found herself choking up every time. She, unlike they, was not a performer, not comfortable inserting herself into a group. She lacked the confidence of some of the other women in the crowd who slipped their way into dressing rooms and raised their skirt just so. Part of her had thought about emulating them—after her first concert she found herself paying more attention to the gangly, animated drummer over the strutting blond lead singer before dismissing the thought. She had something these other women couldn’t offer. The band wouldn’t take her seriously if she offered to fuck them first. She continued on sending her resume out, and, just to widen her prospects, started applying to record labels.

Tom Zutaut sought her out first—he felt that her youth and interest in the music scene would lend her some credibility with the band once they signed over to Elektra. He assured her that they would appreciate her vision.

She sat down and spoke with them for the first time at a restaurant with her portfolio tucked under her arm and her nerves ringing as she prepared her speech on how she appreciated the band’s vision and how her visual style would work well for them on tour. She glanced between every face: Mick Mars and his aloof, unimpressed demeanor and folded arms; Nikki Sixx and his quirked brow and slight smirk; Vince Neil and his smug grin; Tommy Lee and his frenetic energy and eager smile. She focused on him and what she saw as a friendly, open face as she opened her portfolio to show her rough sketches…

…and felt a pair of hands slide along the inside of her thighs and push her knees apart.

She flinched and rose, but not before the men at the table snickered and a woman poked her head out from under the table.

“I’m used to sucking dick,” the woman said, grinning, “but I could go either way.”

Y/N glanced at the men at the table and realized this was a test of sorts. Could she handle this environment? She was certain of it. She also knew she didn’t want a stranger to go down on her in semi-public.

Y/N cleared her throat. “You know, sweetheart, I am so flattered. But these are leather pants I’d have to push down to my knees and I just don’t know if I want my bare ass on this seat,” she said as she sat back down.

It was the best she could do, and apparently it was enough. After a round of shots and some cursory glances at some of Y/N’s plans, Motley Crue had an artist ready to go on tour with them.

………..

“You sure you can handle this?” Doc asks as they get ready; the boys have their own accommodations, better rooms and first class on the monstrosity that the company calls a tour bus. There are no other women present save for Vince’s latest girlfriend—all seamstresses and make-up artists are present at each venue. They don’t travel with the band.

Y/N laughs. “I’m from New Jersey, Doc. I’ll be fine.”

Doc doesn’t look convinced. “Listen, obviously I spoke to the guys and they do have some respect for you; see you as more than, you know...”

“A groupie.” She hopes there’s no venom behind those words; she doesn’t hate any of the women that cling to the band and she imagines it would be pointless to get angry over how frequently they stay and how disposable they become. To get angry with a band for having groupies, she reasons, is like getting angry at a Western movie for having horses.

She doesn’t hate them, at least, she thinks she doesn’t. But she likes Tommy’s unmatched energy and lanky body and playful grin. She hears stories about his stamina and size and it is more difficult to ignore the whispers about him than it is about Vince and Nikki. Mick, it seems, dismisses any sort of physical contact. Y/N imagines it would be prudent to do the same. She’s the only woman on the production team and is fully aware how easy it would be for everyone to resent her more than they already do.

“Yeah. Exactly,” Doc says. “You’re not like them. You’re here to work.”

“I know, Doc.” Y/N gestures towards her books of sketches and layouts. “I know.”

……..

None of this is to say that Y/N doesn’t interact with the band at all. As she anticipated, it’s something of a collaborative effort. Nikki in particular has a lot of ideas about staging and costumes that go into effect. Granted, Motley Crue itself appears to be his brainchild, and he’s in charge of most of the creative decisions. He’s smart (although he’d be loath to describe himself as such) he’s attractive; he’s talented. Y/N imagines that in another world she would be more drawn to him than she is. But she’s not; she appreciates his mind and the work, and she hopes that he thinks the same of her.

She wears long pants and jackets most of the time; she seldom wears more than the slightest bit of makeup on tour and she doesn’t try to give the appearance of curves to her slight frame where there aren’t any. She never gives off the impression that she is sexually available, and as a result she’s left alone.

Vince ignores her. Mick is about as pleasant towards her as he is capable of being towards anyone, and Y/N appreciates his candor. She’s told he has a condition that causes constant, often excruciating pain and isn’t sure how to design a set to accommodate him, as if he’d ever accept the help. Nikki is usually somewhat well-behaved around her, even as he knows he doesn’t have to censor himself and that Doc will sometimes complain to her about his coke binges and public indecency. She doesn’t need him to tell her; she stays in the same hotels and when one or more is up to a set of antics she can plainly hear it from her room.

Tommy is playful; there are times she could swear he was flirting, and she cannot tell if he’s joking or not. She also can’t tell if, if he is flirting, whether it’s because he’s attracted to her or because any woman of an appropriate age and decent appearance is a potential one-night stand. A cum dumpster.

She should separate herself. She should keep a professional distance.

She goes to parties with them sometimes and does shots with them that have her staggering and slurring her words long before they’re down for the count and wakes up with hangovers that make her fear opening her mouth. She’s still tamer than they are and abstains from hard drugs and day drinking. She wishes Tommy luck before shows and listens to all of his ideas, good and bad. There’s no greater feeling than his excitement when she puts one of his ideas into practice.

She has sex one night with a tall man with long dark hair who isn’t Tommy but in the dark and after whiskey could be close enough for a few minutes. She can pretend, for a moment, that it’s he who’s inside her, gasping as he comes and holding her hips in a bruising grip. She sneaks out of his room at five AM and heads back to her hotel.

When there she pulls her pants down and brings her fingers to her clit and thinks about him; his tongue, his cock inside of her and his lips on her clit everything finally being right. Alone in a hotel she finds the release she couldn’t get with a pale imitation of what she wanted.

The shame sets in seconds after her climax. She groans as she wipes her fingers off on her inner thigh and tries to ignore the pull in her gut as she kicks her pants off the rest of the way and somehow manages to sleep.

……….

Tommy starts dating a girl named Roxie. Tommy has had casual girlfriends as long as Y/N can remember. He seems to fall for every girl who shows him attention and soon forgets each one.

Y/N could say that she doesn’t like Roxie because it’s clear Roxie doesn’t really care about him, that she doesn’t know him and just wants to cling to someone with fame and power. And all those things are true; she doesn’t trust Roxie nor does she expect her to stick around. She says nothing, though, because what really eats at her is how much she resents the hell out of Tommy being so devoted to her.

Tommy introduces his parents to Y/N first, though. Not because she’s the most important, of course, but because she’s the first familiar face he sees after Doc as he’s giving his parents a tour of the set.

Tommy has mentioned his parents; his mother, a Greek immigrant and former beauty contestant and his father, an army vet. They seem too polite, too conventional for this place and yet Y/N can immediately see how someone like Tommy was able to emerge from what appeared to be a typical suburban upbringing; they clearly love him for everything he is. So she likes them and tries to stay composed when Tommy brushes his hand along the small of her back to introduce her.

“This is Y/N. She makes the magic happen. The lights, the dancers, the backdrop, all her ideas.”

Y/N laughs. “Not entirely true; it’s more collaborative than that. I just draw up the plans and make sure we have the right people and equipment to make them possible.”

“You storyboarded our first music video. Take some credit!” Tommy insists.

Y/N preens under the attention even as she tries to avoid what must be Mrs. Bass’s knowing gaze. “If you insist,” she says. “The business card says ‘production designer,’” she adds for the parents’s benefit.

“And you’re not married?” Tommy’s mother asks.

Y/N can feel herself blush. “Oh, no. Not at all!” she tries to laugh it off. “Got hired for the portfolio and I’ve been on board since.” She hears distantly Tommy gently admonish his mother and it doesn’t quite register. She should get out of here. His mother can probably tell what she thinks of her son and could easily bring it up. “Well, it was wonderful meeting you both,” she adds before finding an excuse to leave.

………..

“Did you hear Tommy proposed to Roxie?” Nikki asks as Y/N shows him several plans for the next leg of their tour.

Y/N feels like she’s been kicked in the gut. She keeps her face in repose and manages to speak.

“You think it’s gonna last?” she asks.

Nikki sighs. “I didn’t think it was gonna last this long. You know Tommy’s mom called her a groupie to her face?”

Y/N laughs; it’s cruel and she relishes in it. She has so few petty comforts she’s sure she can have this. “She’s not wrong,” she says as she packs up her drawings. “I mean, it’s not like she’d be interested in him if he wasn’t famous.”

Nikki sits back and watches her. “You would, though,” he tells her, and of course he notices her pause. Of course he noticed how she looks at his bandmate.

Y/N can’t look back at him. She manages to find her voice. “Does Tommy know?” she asks.

“Nah. He’s completely oblivious,” Nikki says.

“Well, good,” Y/N says faintly, and after setting everything into her portfolio briefcase, stands. “I think I need a drink.”

Nikki grins. “You joined the right band for it.”

……………………………

Tommy calls off the engagement as abruptly as he began it. Y/N didn’t see it, but apparently there was a fight involving him being stabbed in the back with a pen, him punching his fiancée in the face, and liberal use of the word “cunt.” Specifically, Roxie referring to Tommy’s mother as one. The driver drops Roxie off at a Phoenix bus stop with a bag filled with her clothes and no one speaks of her for the rest of the trip to the next venue.

The show goes off without difficulty and Y/N manages to find Tommy afterwards before he can disappear with a mountain of coke, a bottle of Jack, and a girl who looks nothing like Roxie to take his mind off of the dumb decision he’d been about to make.

“Hey, you alright?” she asks. She’s closer to him than she’d normally dare and as he turns around, she remembers just how much taller he is than she.

His eyes are wide but he seems neither upset nor inebriated. He looks her over once and asks, a little louder than Y/N would like, “Are you wearing make-up?”

Y/N shrugs and takes a step back, forcing herself to meet Tommy’s gaze. “One of the ladies was bored and offered to do some work on me before packing up,” she says. “Anyway, let me buy you a drink.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Tommy says, and for a moment, Y/N shrinks back, gets ready to apologize, to back away, to hide in her hotel room. It lasts only a moment. “But yeah, I’ll grab a drink with you.” He smiles at her and it seems genuine; everything he says and does feels earnest.

He leads her to the bar closest the venue, and packed as it is the patrons and bartenders make room for the two of them as they sidle up to the bar.

“A Jameson and ginger ale for me and whatever this guy wants,” Y/N says, and glances over at Tommy, who orders a double shot of Jack Daniels. They won’t have much time to themselves, of course. The other guys will join him and drag him to a private table, and before that fans are already lining up and getting ready for autographs.

“So, I guess you heard what happened,” Tommy says.

“Yeah.” Y/N takes a sip from her drink. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine, I guess.” He finishes his shot and signals for another. Y/N waits for him to say something else; Tommy always has something else to say.

He looks down at the bar, at his right hand as it rests against the polish wood. “I hit her,” he says, finally.

“I know,” Y/N tells him. Tommy glances up, looking alarmed. “I also know she screamed at you, cursed at you, cursed your mother, and tried to stab you with a pen before you did.” Y/N rubs her thumb along the condensation forming on the outside of her glass. “I’m not saying you did the right thing; I don’t condone punching people in the face. I am saying she provoked you, that she would have continued trying to provoke you, and that it’s good that you’re not together anymore.” She takes a sip from her drink.

Tommy keeps looking at her. “You didn’t like her, did you?” he asks.

Y/N leans her elbow on the bar and faces him; his eyes are very blue. “You’re right. I didn’t.”

“Why’s that?”

Y/N exhales. “I didn’t believe for a second that she loved you,” she says. “I thought she was using you.

“Listen, I get it. I get that you guys sleep with whoever and it’s no big deal. It’s casual and that’s how it’s supposed to be. But that’s for all the times there isn’t an emotional investment. When there is, though, if you decide to give that to someone, they sure as hell better deserve it. And she didn’t.”

It’s then that Y/N realizes she doesn’t remember the moment her favorite part of the job ceased to be seeing her designs and sketches put onstage, but instead every moment she gets to see Tommy. The crazy lifestyle, the weirdness, it doesn’t matter. She can take it. She wants this, wants every part of him. If she says anything else she’ll burst forth and say everything. For a few agonizing moments they sit in silence and she wants to lean forward, wants to bridge the inches between them. She could kiss him so easily.

“T-Bone!”

Why did neither of them notice Nikki come up to them?

“Come on, man. We got a room set up back. Bottle service, strippers, the works.” Nikki claps Tommy on the shoulder. “Gonna get you back on the horse in no time.”

Tommy looks over at Y/N. Y/N feels her throat constrict, wonders how she can possibly speak, and simply raises her glass in cheers and forces a little smile.

“I…” Tommy stands and motions for the bartender.

“I want you to put this on our tab. This and anything else the lady might want tonight,” he says, patting Y/N on the back.

“Have a good night,” he tells her as he follows Nikki to the back of the bar, and Y/N raises her glass once again before knocking back the rest of her drink.

“Another?”

Y/N pushes her glass forward. “Please.”

The bartender gets to work. “You know those guys?” he asks.

“I work for them,” Y/N tells him.

“Sounds like fun.”

She forces a smile. “It has its moments.”

She leaves two hours later after making very small talk with the bartender, ignoring horny barflies, and ordering several more drinks. She eventually gets a cab to the hotel before stumbling to her room and collapsing fully clothed on the bed. Good thing sober her made sure to schedule a wake up call with the front desk, because drunk her wouldn’t dream of waking up at eight AM—in five hours and presumably hungover.

#the dirt #the dirt movie #tommy lee #mgk!tommy lee #motley crue #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee imagine

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okimargarvez · 6 years

Text

UNDER PRESSURE

Original title: Sotto pressione.

Prompt: post 13x15.

Warning : none. Genre: angst, romantic, family.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 25 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🔦.

Song mentioned: La tua vita non passerà, Tiziano Ferro.

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

UNDER PRESSURE

They talk, they talk, they talk, they say that I dream, but they lie, they lie...

The woman drives away the frustration while her eye burns them terribly. She throws the contact lens into the appropriate container and finally wears the old and beloved glasses again. Forced to be who she is not, for almost ten hours a day. Yes, it's true that she always had to put a good face on it, but not with them, not with her team.

No, she doesn't have to think about it. It was the initial mistake, that of wanting... everything... everything...

This is her life now. Probably it will be until she takes her last breath. She rinses her face with cold water, remove any layer of makeup. She looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize herself. Those short hair don't belong to her.

I resemble the world in many aspects and in its most evident faults...

She sits on the bed. She removes the shoes, only five centimeters high heel, black paint color. She throws them into one side of the room. She also removes the suit. Beige. It's the only nuance that is not good for her, it is unshakable, it has no personality. She is depriving her of her way of being, as if it were the wedding garment that Medea has given to her Jason's bride, to take revenge. Or the robe worn by Heracles, soaked with the ointment that the centaur Nessus gave to Deianira, succeeding in this way to kill one of the greatest demigods of ancient mythology... ok, she reads too much, in the evening. She has too much free time available.

I made too many things wrong, roads, I entered a few churches so rarely, tomorrow I will leave even if you don't want to...

She also removes the bra, while she laughs alone. Her laughter spreads across the room, bounces off the walls and comes back. The emptiness surrounds her and soon, will be able to incorporate her, make her disappear. She will become one of the many who work without passion, without knowing why she do it. She will repeat the same gestures indefinitely, until she becomes not even more aware. Soon there will not be much difference between her and whatever piece of furniture in her office.

Your life will not pass, it will not pass, it will not pass, I will not give up your life at every failure ...

She wears a pink nightgown, decorated with various images of unicorns. She closes her eyes and tries to feel that scent, something, anything that she remembers who it is. But she doesn't hear anything.

The vibration of the cell phone on the bedside table makes her jump. She grabs it by praying that there is no case. Once (and yet it has been two months since that day, it seems 2 or 20 years) she would have been happy to have to run to work. Because here she would find...

She reads the name in the sender. Cool Hand Luke.

Another giggle escapes from her, then she wonders why he texts her. Will he have a wrong number? Something will not happen to JJ or Matt or... She opens it holding her breath. I entrust your life to the wind, which changes the terms and derails them, takes people and dazzles them because often the world makes mistakes...

Hey, Garcia, how are you? I hope I'm not bothering you. I wanted to ask you if you want to get some tea. I should talk to you about something. She smiles, her lips bent gently upwards. Only he could be so careful to detail. Not a coffee, but a tea. Damn Newbie. She sighs and stares the screen until it turns off.

Hey, obviously she omits answering his first question, ok, is it something serious? When would you like to go? She deletes the last sentence. In this way it seems like a date, while it's simply about... it's definitely about work. She sees no other reason why he should contact her. Damn, they have not seen each other for two months. Two months. No one in the new workplace has ever looked at her like him, in this time frame. No one called her chica, nor even flirted just for fun with her. Nobody ever told her she did a great job. She deletes the entire message.

Has something bad happened? Don't make me worry, Alvez. She presses send before changing her mind again. As if she were on a precipice waiting for the right moment to throw herself. What a bad image.

No, not really. Are you free, then? Tomorrow night? The man' response arrives very quickly. As if he were in front of the screen, as if he were waiting... she is going too many mental journeys. This haven't stopped, at least some things don't change.

Yes, if I don't have a case. Same goes for you, I guess. I'll let you know at the time. This time at least one-minute passes before the screen lights up again.

Ok. From O'Keef at eight? Reading that name destabilizes her much more than everything else. It's a happy place, full of good memories, carefree evenings...

No, please, let's choose another place. Any one, but not that. I'm not ready. Now, that she doesn't see him every day, it's useless to keep showing herself cold and indifferent, not allowing him to glimpse not even a small part of her weakness.

Of course, Penelope, there is no problem. I know a nice place, very colorful and noisy. I'll send you the address tomorrow. Good night. He manages to snatch almost a moan from her. How the heck does he is so sweet and so smart to guess always? Why can he understand that what she needed was noise, confusion, something that didn't make her feel the weight of the loneliness she brought with her from that blessed day?

Thank you. Night.

They talk, they talk, they talk, and they say that I dream, however, they lie, they lie...

The man opens the door of his apartment and enters. The sheepdog runs towards him, showing him how much she missed him. -Hello, girl, I know, I missed you too.- he kneels, crouching to sink the face in the thick fur of the animal and inhales her scent strongly. This gesture has always calmed him, ever since he came back from Iraq and he never stopped doing it, every time he found himself in crisis, he risked to relapse... for example after seeing Penelope in tears for Reid and having had two small talk with Shawn. Or after seeing Scratch falling without doing anything. And surely when he found out that a bastard had shot Garcia during a date. And from that day, when Linda Barnes had decided to destroy everything... well, it had become increasingly necessary.

I'll go back, when I want, because you know, who doesn't have a life... dreams...

The jet landed at six in Quantico. He has all the time in the world to get ready. She has already assured him that the coast is clear, nothing fish to fry. She tried to show the usual Garcia, but she didn't succeed very well. He understood that there is something different, that she is forced, yes, even by the way she wrote those texts. Not that before (as it sounds, even in his head, this adverb of time, as if it were about centuries ago) had exchanged who knows how many messages. But those few times she didn't miss an opportunity to prick him, just a little. To provoke him. And he certainly didn't pull back. Yesterday evening, instead...

Yesterday she has sounded shut off. She even showed herself to be weak, telling him she didn't want to go to O'Keef. It was obvious that she would not like it, he had to guess it. What a fool!

I mistook day and night by dreaming and I can't sleep ...

He pulls himself up and prepares Roxy's dinner quickly. Another gesture that calms him, because so habitual, so reassuring in its repeating smoothly. Here it can't happen that a Linda (Spencer was right, Linda was a problem) suddenly arrives and destroys everything in her path. Two years of hard work wiped away in a second, to be able to integrate himself, to trust others...

He goes to the bathroom and gets naked, getting rid of anxiety alongside sweaty clothes. First, he removes the boots, putting them on the side, then the shirt, the red one amaranth, the dark trousers, the underwear and the white socks. He opens the water and slips under the jet of hot water, the steam rises, enveloping his body. He grabs the shampoo bottle and puts some liquid in one hand, rubs his hair, long as when he had known her, he closes his eyes and tries not to tremble at the thought that, in less than an hour, he'll see her again.

Two months, sixty days without a misplaced joke, a zinger, eyes turned to the sky, unbecoming nicknames... even if the last time she had called him cool guy. Yeah, he had made progress. Finally, she realized that he wasn't the playboy she wanted so much... and Barnes had to intrude herself by sending everything to hell. Thank you very much. But perhaps something positive could sprout from this mess.

While passing the sponge on the back and chest he remembers the dialogue with JJ. She had told him that she hadn't talk to Penelope for a century. She was practically gone. The same was true of Tara and Emily; the girls had tried to invite her to one of their women' nights, but nothing, she hadn't even answered, if not the next day with I’m sorry, I was overworked. Overworked. Not a term she would use. Obsolete and weird, yes, but not in the sense in which she usually expressed herself. Not even Reid, who found the experience of teaching rather formative (more humanly than unprofessionally), or Rossi, engaged in the drafting of a novel where the supreme head of a team, a bureaucrat without the slightest training on the field, she went to a lot of trouble... but even Matt was no longer able to contact her.

He had been thinking about it for a while. All this mysterious situation had made him definitively worry. They were in the same damn building and they had never even crossed their streets. Not in the parking lot, not in the elevator, nothing. He knew in which unit she had been transferred. He had heard about it. And just he couldn't imagine her among those people, each interested exclusively in their careers, to add a plaque on the desk.

That's why he was surprised, yesterday, when she answered him. Why he and not the others? Maybe he just caught her at the right time, for once. He decided he wanted to believe this.

It's made of prohibitions and all of our things, life is always beautiful because life doesn't rest...

All the foam flows in to the drain. He closes the tap and goes out, grabs a towel and puts it around his waist. He threads a pair of terry slippers, walking towards the bedroom. He opens the wardrobe and pulls out a shirt. Blue. This time he doesn't need to ask for a second opinion, that of Roxy, of course. He knows (without knowing why) that this is the right choice. When he thinks he is dry enough, he puts on a tight white shirt. It's not too hot outside. But not even inside (inside him). Another pair of trousers, not jeans, without front pockets, clear, which stand out the muscles of his calves. And casual shoes but not completely elegant.

Back in the bathroom, he looks in the mirror. He passes a hand through his hair, already dry. He combs them quickly, glances at the clock nearby. He has still just five minutes. He puts on his wrist the bracelet that Phil gave him. Spray deodorant and even a scent, but delicate and almost imperceptible.

He grabs the jacket, then changes his mind to the last and opt for the denim jacket. Better.

He sighs, takes wallet, house keys, car keys and cell phone. The bare minimum.

I'm leaving home now. Are you already there? He is afraid of receiving in reply that she will not be there, that in the end some unforeseen will prevent her from reaching him, that he has only deluded himself... instead, quite the contrary.

No, but I'm almost there. It's not even from her, to be on time. There is definitely something wrong. He turns to Roxy. -Hey, girl, now I have to go. But if all goes well, I will not go back alone.- the dog almost seems to nod. -I bring Penelope back home, I promise.-

He enters in the bar and looks around. He immediately meets the gaze of a blonde woman, as confused as he is. He approaches frowning. -Garcia?- now it is certain, it is her. The hair is short, very short, smooth, cut into an almost military bowl haircut that leaves uncovered a good part of her neck. She wears a strange, dark suit that makes her look like a lawyer. The make-up is light, no eyeliner, not even lipstick. And no colorful glasses; probably she wears contact lenses. He had never noticed before how big her eyes were.

-Luke.- she doesn't move, doesn't stand up to greet him, she just looks at him. It is however strange and significant that she decided to call him by name. He takes off his jacket, leans it on the chair and positions himself in front of her. -I'm sorry for the clothes, but I just got out of work. A colleague of mine left early and I also had to finish his part. I didn't have time to change. I hope you don't mind.- the really Garcia, two months ago, would have known how to make some good joke from a situation like that. The woman who is before him now, however, limited to expose her justification with a flat and aseptic tone. She, who cared so much to every detail, who personally chose every accessory to wear combined with the clothes...

-No, it's just that... You're... you're so... weird.- the truth escapes from him, he just can't hold it. His upheaval certainly doesn't go unnoticed. The woman finds herself giggling and shaking her head, as if he had made a joke.

-I'm with you from a second, and I already seem to be back home.- here, this looks even more like the original Garcia. But still, her eyes are definitely less bright and lively, less mischievous. -So... what did you want to talk to me, cool guy?- she had say it again. She used that nickname. Penelope bites her tongue, cursing herself. But the impact wasn't strong just for him. Luke is beautiful, as always. But there's something strange about him too. He didn't shave perfectly, he cut his own cheek, if she'll put her finger on his skin, she could follow all the way...

-Nothing, it's just that... you're disappeared.- he decides to go slowly, to not did further pressure to her. After all, she is the one who was thrown in the middle of the sharks without life preservers. She is alone, but she has to continue to do what she did before, without being herself. -We work in the same building but never see each other.- he is aware of what may seem, what truly is, but he doesn't want her to know and he's hurry to continue -I mean, also with JJ and Matt.- he can't prevent his cheeks from turning red. -It's not strange? I know that you don't even be in touch with others.- at the end he says everything, without filters. It seems as if he is blaming her, that he is accusing her of something. At least it is in this sense that she perceives it.

-Well, I've been very busy.- she justifies herself by crossing her arms over her chest. It is certainly the first time that not even a small part of her breast is exposed to sight. He gives himself to the maniac, but that thought doesn't leave him free anyway. The woman notices the insistence of his gaze, but the war is temporarily interrupted by a very attractive waitress who takes their orders. Luke ignores her almost completely.

-Do you like what you do? How are you?- he asks as soon as they are alone again. He was right, the place is very welcoming, there is a strange atmosphere, as if time were suspended; the tables are all wooden, the walls covered with posters that date back to the late 1980s, a persistent music fills every empty space. And then there is the cheerful voice of other people. As he speaks, he approaches her a little.

For a while, she seems not to have heard the two questions. -Oh, Newbie, I missed your interrogation!- she is happy that he didn't ask her why she clearly avoided talking to others. And once again she wonders why she has answered him affirmatively, why she is here. Should not. This goes against the pact that she was forced to sign. She lets the nickname slip on her tongue as if she couldn't avoid it in any way. She smiles almost maliciously. -Anyway... it's not that bad. It's not the first time that I collaborate with a different team.- she adds in a professional tone, not without some uncertainty that leads man to understand that she is lying, or at least omitting part of the truth.

-I missed being called in this way.- he says this purposefully. In another situation, if they were in their offices, miles away, one in a country and one in another, this could also seem like a joke, a flirtation to ease the accumulated tension in trying to save as many human lives as possible.

But she deliberately decides to ignore these implications. -What do you really want, Alvez?- the waitress returns and settles their drinks on the table. -You can't have called me just for a chat.- she decrees, raising an eyebrow. -Do you feel lonely? Lisa is not enough for you?- here, he seems to feel a tiny pinch of jealousy. Luke chuckles, because he doesn't see Dr. Douglas from that date when they have play at the foosball table a century ago. Yet, she didn't seem particularly worried when she broke their first date. Of course, she had begun to deliriously as usual... but this is not all that significant.

He sighs and leans a hand towards the mug of beer. Look at the yellow liquid, similar to the color of the hair of his ex-colleague. -It didn't work. But basically, it's better this way.- the pure truth, nothing more and nothing less. The tone of man is not displeased, it shows no shade of sadness, although this implies exactly what Garcia has asked him, only to provoke him: solitude.

-Oh, I'm sorry.- she's honest too, and he believes her easily. The lips, so clear in their natural color, bend slightly downwards and a wrinkle appears on her forehead. But he can't stop staring at those brown eyes. Yes, they are definitely big, huge. -How is Phil?- apparently the interrogation has turned over. Now she is the one who asks the questions. -And Roxy?- hearing the name of his dog he can't help but smile gently.

-Phil is fine, he's making some progress...- he says before taking a sip of his beer. Bitter. But perhaps it is he who perceives everything in that perspective, since the hag had cast her spell. -And Roxy...- he hesitates a moment, but then he remembers the promise made to his girl. -...why don't you come see her? I'm sure she'd like it...- using his dog has always been the best way to get positive attention from the blonde. A bit 'sneaky and even incorrect, but he cares little.

Garcia takes an eternity before opening her mouth again. He watches her drink her drink, turning the little colored umbrella, pulls it out to use it as a toothpick and sticks the lemon slice, then she brings it to the mouth and suck the liquid, without producing any vulgar or annoying noise. He remains as enchanted by these simple gestures. -No.- she finally says. -I don't think it's the case.- her lips are wet from a few drops of lemon.

Who knows what flavor they have, if they would have had a bitter taste too. -Is that all you had to tell me?- he is silent. She finishes drinking and puts the empty glass on the table. -Then, I have to go.- she stands up and turns to take the jacket. At that moment Luke notices two things at the same time: first the shoes, black and without heel, well, only a few centimeters, practically slippers for the computer technician's standards; and then he notices how much she looks smaller, in those clothes so unusual for her, she also lost weight. Stress, definitely.

In a second, he is standing next to her and his fingers wrapped like coils, like handcuffs, albeit gently, around the woman's wrist. -Hey, wait.- Garcia looks at him but without protesting. -The unit needs you, Penelope.- this is only the easy half of the matter. -I, I need you.- he finally exclaims, emphasizing the personal pronoun. She almost abandons herself on the chair. He too returns to settle in front of her. The mug is still half full. He feels like freed from a burden. BAU needed Penelope Garcia because no one had her abilities, her speed in identifying the right information. About this no one would have nothing to say.

-You?- her huge brown eyes, doe eyes (he must have read this in some novel, such kind of expression, but he had never happened to apply it in the real world) are opened, exactly as when this wild animal at night is on a dangerous road and the headlights of a car illuminate it before the possible impact. -Why?- Penelope falters, her head spinning and the whole room becomes blurred. Damn contact lenses, she hates them. If at least she was able to remove...

Luke decides that by now he did the first important step, he can't hide his hand after throwing the stone. So, he reaches out and grabs her hand, without even looking. His body automatically moves in the right direction, almost guided by a superior force. -This job is empty, without your jokes that have nothing to do with the case.- well, it was just this. Newbie lacked someone to joke with, someone who could smile despite everything, nothing more. This, she was for him: a fool who made a clown.

Penelope feels anger increasing and clenching her throat, tears sting her eyes and wet her eyelashes. She can't cry, not only because Luke is in front of her, but mostly because the damned lenses get dirty, if she does. -BAU also need Reid's intelligence, Rossi's experience, Emily's loyalty, Tara's insights. Not just my jokes.- she growls, listing the other members of the team. It's immediately obvious to the man that she misinterpreted his sentence. She felt diminished, while his goal is to make her understand how important she is, but not just for the team.

Luke shakes his head, annoyed. -It's not just that, you know what I meant...- he looks at her directly in the way he has always looked at her, his hand still on hers, even the partially intertwined fingers, although she tried to get rid of it, but he is too strong, or the woman's attempts have been weak. -However, you're right.- he doesn't made any effort to admit it. Garcia doesn't smile in a victorious gesture. -But I, I only need you.- again that underlining. -Before, I was a loner, I thought it was better this way, it was simpler, nobody worried about me, but now I love this group, we are a family, I love everyone, but I love you a little bit more.- he's never let himself go with her so much on such a subject. She had sensed something when she had met Phil. From behind the column she had heard him explain to his friend how hard it was to start a normal life again, after returning from Iraq and how much Roxy had helped him. Because he needed a reason for wanting to live. Before this, she had never really thought, that Luke could have such pains within himself. Her ingenuity and her security system prevented her from getting there. She couldn't really imagine him, in a context like war. She had wondered what kind of thoughts could ever crossing his head in such a period. And how much lonely he was felt. And now he is clearly saying it, he is writing black and white that, apart from Lisa's parenthesis, he has neither wanted no one for a long time. And that now he is ready to have it. And he wants her.

The clarity of this thought strikes her like an invisible fist in her stomach, stealing the air from her. She nods and grabs the man's glass, taking a sip, before Luke's uncertain gaze. She's not a beer-type, but she needed to swallow that lump in her throat. -Why are you telling me these things? Why exactly now?- one question after another, to silence the thousand voices in her head. Her voice sounds like that of a child. Finally, she manages to free her hand and carried it on her ribs, as in the period shortly after she had been shot. -The team is gone, Luke. It's over.- she almost hears a crack as she says it.

Your life will not pass, it will not pass, it will not pass... your life will be stronger, of what they sometimes told you... -No, look at me, Penelope, please.- when she executes that simple request she realizes that even the Luke's eyes are shiny. The last time she saw him like that, it was at Walker's funeral. -Do you remember what I told you when Reid was in trouble?- he asks in a caressing, delicate, low, and extremely deep voice. And sexy. Damn it, how can he be so exciting in such a dramatic moment? Such an intense gaze like his should be forbidden. -that we will get Reid through this, we will have managed it, and so it has been.- he answers by himself, then he observes the mug and end its contents in a single sip. He stands up, wears his jacket and is imitated by a completely distraught Penelope. When she's ok he takes her by the arm and heads for the bar to pay.

Only when they are out in the cool evening air, she seems able to talk again. -It was different, he was innocent, while we...- she silences, shakes her head and looks around, as if she were looking for someone or something. An escape route.

-What is it that you don't want to say?- Garcia doesn't answer. -There's something you didn't tell me, I see it.- he reads in her big eyes how much she hates the fact that he's a profiler. But work has nothing to do with it.

Finally, like a dormant volcano that has managed to convince everyone that it's non-dangerous, she suddenly erupts. -Ok, all right!- she shouts loudly. -If you really want to know... Barnes made me promise to close relations with all of you. Well, it's not that she really made me promise, let's say she has "warmly" recommended me...- for a moment she loses herself in trifling matters, like her usual did, before that day. -If I hadn't, she would have sent me to prison. And she would have forced all of you to leave...- she didn't want that he discover this part, but she didn't make it. She can't keep secrets or things of this kind only for herself. They also made fun of her for this. But she doesn't want to be a martyr. She absolutely doesn't want his compassion and even worse his pity.

-In prison?- finally he is the one seriously upset. She enjoys the triumph in silence. -What?- man can't conceive of such a possibility. Or the reasons why a person like Penelope can end up behind bars. For excess of sweetness? Behavior too uninhibited? Illegal distribution of tea? And then, late, the other consideration also hits him. She sacrificed herself for them. She couldn't talk to them, with any one of her old team, she was forced into exile. And this is not absolutely right.

Penelope emits a bitter laugh. -I'm a hacker, Luke.- she decides to be magnanimous and not wait that him arrives on his own to the right conclusion. He could very well do it, she knows how clever and perceptive he is, more than she wanted to admit. But for certain things, he seems almost as naive as she is. All the pieces find their place in the man head. -How do you believe I know certain tricks? Why do you think I ended up working for the BAU?- this was really a too loud bomb and she shot him straight in the face. Despite the jacket, the woman getting cold. She shudders only a little.

-Penelope, you can't carry this weight alone.- a third question enlightens his mind. Why had she decided to break that sort of contract and see him, why him, the one who had known her for less time, and not the others? A slight flame is re-ignited. But she is quick to turn it off.

-Never mind.- she shrugs like if it were nothing. She has always done so, grin and bear it. When Reid was arrested she and JJ carred about his mother's, she worried that she always had a hot meal, to cite just one example. - Now I have to go.- again that phrase, which breaks into his thoughts.

-No.- he stops her only with that monosyllable, without needing to grasp her physically or add more. -Are you dating anyone?- now that this threshold has passed, he can afford to be jealous of the idea that she, in these two months, has found someone else. And maybe right at work. Perhaps one who didn't limit himself to sraring her as if she was a miracle on this earth, but has found the courage to ask her a date, without fear of ending up incinerated like Anchise with Aphrodite.

-This argument has never been your business.- she defends herself as she can, but she no longer has any strength. She's about to give in, it's obvious now. Luke approaches her a step. She hears the slight rustling of his shoes, it's still early but few cars pass by the street. She has her eyes closed. She can't cry.

-Unfortunately you're right, could you answer however?- she feels his breath create like a cloud of steam that comes directly into her face. The heat is too much, the last straw. When she tries to lift her eyelids, she realizes that he is much closer than she believed. She never got the chance to observe his dark eyes at such a distance. She takes advantage of it to capture a thousand details, nuances. She is so close to that scratch on his cheek... just a caress, just one...

-No, I'm not dating anyone.- she responds without being able to look away from the male. She's like hypnotized, in a trance. -My life is work, Luke. It will always be like that.- she explains. But the words don't agree with the subdued tone. She sees the great hands of him rise and reach her cheeks and she knows in advance what he is about to do. She literally abandons herself, allowing him to grasp her lips with his own, to slightly bite the lower one, to the point of shaking her along the spine, to make her mouth open to intrude his tongue in and start a wild fight with hers.

Yet she is conscious of every action of her own, she doesn't lose the sense of reality. She feels her own arms moving, a hand resting on the man's back, on his shoulder blade and bringing him closer to her, as if she needs more heat. The other instead ends right on the cheek of the man, she feels the roughness of the shaved beard hairs and she identify the scratch, following the path.

When he detaches her lips from the female ones, exclusively for lack of oxygen, he still can't stay too far from her. He lays his forehead against hers. Since Garcia doesn't wear her usual stilts, the difference in height between them is even more noticeable. -If I managed to do this, all together we can save the team, don't you think?- he tries a joke, but he is extremely serious.

-Starting a clandestine relationship that goes against the regulation, is not v the best of the ideas you've had, Newbie.- and she seems to understand it, because she responds in the same way. As if Luke's lips had been able to restore her true essence, what she was beginning to forget. He wiped out all the beige with a single gesture.

-That means that you liked the others?- that grimace, that crooked smile, all leaning to the left, the white teeth partially visible. How much did she miss it, without realizing it? She also had the courage to wonder why he and not the others.

-You always twist my words against me!- but it's a protest for play, to see how far he can get, to pretend that the BAU is still together, that she shouldn't return in the cold, cold and impersonal apartment that they had gave to her. Where cats aren't allowed. It was the last time she saw Emily, when she gave Sergio gave back to her. Heck, how much she misses everyone.

-That's why you like me so much, don't you?- he satisfies her, answering her jokingly and as their noses touch, before a second kiss, Penelope realizes that even if they were to get married, this thing will not change between them. They will continue to prick each other even when he has to help himself with the stick and she will be almost completely blind and maybe even deaf as a post.

It was absolutely not a rational thought. They aren't even together, and she already imagines their eternity? The man realizes that one of the moans is too much like a sob. -Luke...- she is crying. Her whole body is shaken by unstoppable sobs.

Luke puts a hand on the woman's back and pushes her against his chest. She puts her head in but doesn't stop sobbing. -Sorry, I didn't want to make you cry, I'm so stupid.- he believes it's his fault. She enjoys those caresses on the hair, behind the ear (how the hell does he know it's one of her sensitive spots?) and on her back.

-It's not for you, it's ... this whole situation.- finally she manages to calm down enough to formulate some coherent and meaningful sentence. -I kept the pain inside for these two months, I didn't allow myself to cry even a tear, because then I would have admitted that it was really over. I missed all of you, so much, yes, you too.- they laugh together. A few drops also fall down from man's face, until the scratch, then on the neck, left naked by those too short hair.

Even when they shout to you, run, bastard, run, your life stays in here, I defend it, I defend it...

-You missed me too, Penelope. I can't imagine you in another team, all alone. Dressed like that... I guess they don't even allow you to make your own jokes.- she doesn't detach herself from that embrace that they both pursued at least from the trial for the detention of Reid, certainly since he had found her in tears in her office. She wraps her arms around Luke's mighty back.

-The paragon of professionalism.- words that seem to come from another timing. -Luke, you have no idea. She forced me to wear civilian clothes because... because I also have to take care of the support of the victims' relatives. I can't do everything, I can't do it.- he's about to open his mouth but she raises her head in his direction making him understand that she hasn't finished yet. -She also forced me to put these damned contact lenses, which my eyes deeply dislike. And... I live in a tiny apartment, in a complex, very close to the office, because at least in that way I can't be late.- another sob, though no more salty drops growing in her eyes. She sinks her face into Luke's jacket and inhales his scent. -I had to give up Sergio.- a phrase that corresponds to a long groan.

-Oh, baby, we'll get through this.- he takes her face in his hands and she gets up on the tips to reach his lips in a kiss less passionate than the first two, but decidedly more intense and full of responsibility. Both linger one suspended on the other's mouth. -You will not have to endure this situation for a long time. Do you believe me? - the mind rationally should suggest her to respond negatively.

Instead for the first time it agrees with the heart. -Yes.- he smiles, still holding her in his arms. They need both external and internal heat.

-What would you like to do now? Do you prefer to see others or...- there has never been a quicker and simpler answer to give. Of course, as they both said, it's not just him who needs her back in the BAU, but the whole team, who they consider as a family. This is absolutely true. But then there are only them and they can't see beyond their noses.

- Well, you don’t told me that Roxy misses me...?-

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @janiedreams88 @kiki-krakatoa @yessenia993 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke @gcchic @arses21434 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @maziikeen92 @lovelukealvez @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @ichooseno @ megs2219 @rkt3357 @franklintrixie @thinitta @chewwy123 @skisun @maba84 @saisnarry @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #criminal minds #cm #13x15 #tiziano ferro #la tua vita non passerà

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imagine-upon-a-star · 7 years

Photo

TW: swearing, mentions of past sexual encounter

‘I fucked’ Eggsy said falling on the chair in front of Roxy and Merlin.

‘What did you do this time?’ Roxy asked wiping her glasses. She brought them up and examined closely before returning to her task.

‘It’s about the princess’ Eggsy groaned ‘I fucked’

‘Oh I’ve seen’ Merlin sighed.

‘What?’ Eggsy sat up straight.

‘The glasses’ Merlin didn’t even look at him too occupied with the computer in front of him ‘They work the certain way. Thank God I could disconnect’

Eggsy opened his mouth trying to say something but when he heard Roxy’s giggle he just cleared his throat and loosened his tie. The blush that at first appeared on his cheeks went down his neck. ‘It’s not what I mean. It’s about Y/N’

‘I hope you took off your glasses then. We don’t need to scar our Merlin anymore’ Roxy smiled putting her own spectacles on her nose and winking when she caught her friends gaze.

‘For fucks sake that’s not what it is about!’ Eggsy tried again. ‘Y/N found out about my....’ he moved his hand around looking for a word. ‘political meeting’

Roxy scoffed. ‘I’m sure you were deep in the topic’ she smirked tapping her fingers on the table.‘From all sides’

‘With well prepared oral presentation’ Merlin added moving to another screen to cheek all the data.

‘Okay hahaha’ Eggsy stood up taking his glasses off ‘Very fuckin funny. I’m out so you two can be thirsty together’ he turned around and started moving towards metal door at the end of the room.

‘Oh calm down!’ Roxy laughed. ‘What’s wrong?’

Eggsy’s step faltered and he slowly leaned against the nearest wall. ‘Y/N found out about it’

‘So what? You two aren’t a thing’ Roxy said slowly raising an eyebrow ‘And as I recall you didn’t want to be’ she bit her lip waiting for her friend’s answer.

Young agent turned around to face her, his shoulder’s dropping. ‘Yeah...it was bullshit wasn’t it?’

‘I know’ Roxy gave him a half-smile. ‘It wasn’t that hard to notice’

Eggsy looked down at his shoes smiling a little bit. Oh it wan’t hard to notice at all. Everyone was pretty aware about the feelings that might have blossomed between you too. And if it wasn’t enough Eggsy being constantly a bad flirt or tong-tied when you were near or a silly smile crossing his features at every mention of your name didn’t help to hide his crush on you very well. The man himself was pretty much aware of it.

He played a little bit with his shoes until Merlin asked him to continue.

Unwin took a deep breath before straightening his posture. ‘And she thinks that it is a thing now. That me and the princess are a thing’ he put his back against the wall. ‘Especially now that Tilde invited me to her country’

‘And you didn’t want it to go this far’ Roxy chimed in.

‘I didn’t want it to go anywhere at all....I just...when we beat up Valentine I was this hero and I was pretty amazing and truly remarkable....I mean like really! Anyway...’ he stopped upon seeing his friends’ faces ‘I was high on adrenaline and she was pretty and a freaking princess. I was just dumb...’

‘That’s what happens when you don’t think with your brain but with your little friend over there’ Roxy nodded putting her legs on the table in front of her. ‘Let me guess - Y/N decided to put a stop on your little flirting and wished you all the best with the princess’

‘Yeah pretty much’ Eggsy sighed ‘Tilde called when I was talking with Y/N so she heard how much her parents want to meet me and stuff’

‘Oh dear’ Merlin leaned in his chair. ‘Lost situation’

‘Thanks Merlin’ the agent glared at the older man ‘Is there a way to fix it?’

‘Maybe just talk with her? Why people don’t talk?!’ Roxy raised her hands up. ‘It’s not like it’s hard’

‘And what am I gonna say hmm?’ Eggsy laughed humorlessly ‘Oh hi Y/N I know that we’ve had this thing not really a thing but something going on and then you found out I slept with someone else and I am probably in relationship with her but hey! Let’s forget that’s ever happened and come back to our flirting for the next years. Good plan? Yeah thanks’ he huffed out the air.

‘So maybe it’s a time to finally do something with this “something” you’ve got’ Merlin said tapping with his fingers on his computer desk.

‘No...I don’t think...Y/N doesn’t....’ Eggsy started.

‘Damn it!’ Roxy hit her palms on the table’You’re always a smart-ass but the moment you need to do something to be with a woman you love you turn into a coward!’

‘Woah! WOAH!’ Eggsy shouted backing away from Lancelot. ‘I’m not in love with Y/N!’

Both Merlin and Roxy groaned.

‘For fuck’s sake’ Merlin whispered taking off his classes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘Are you even serious?!’ Roxy brushed her hair with her fingers. ‘Okay...I’m not getting into this just stop this bullshit and we can move on’

‘Denial will not help your situation Galahad’ the other man in the room added.

‘I....’ Eggsy tried to say something.

‘Shut up. Stop lying to us and yourself’ Roxy interrupted quickly ‘You wooed a princess the moment she laid her eyes on you. A princess! What makes Y/N different?’

Eggsy took a deep breath ‘It’s Y/N’

‘Wow...’ Roxy rolled her eyes.

‘No! It’s just Y/N. It’s that simple. She’s just her.... And she’s good and amazing and smart and kind. She likes those stupid spy novels and leaves them for me to read so later we can laugh at them together. She hums songs from old musicals when she sees me after I told her how much I like them. She always fixes my tie before missions and wipes my glasses on her shirts. She always waits until I come back from wherever the hell you guys sent me and it’s so...great to have someone who cares that much. It’s so effortless to be with her. You don’t have to talk nor do anything really. Even JB doesn’t want to leave her side’ he chuckled.

Eggsy looked at his friends scratching the back of his head. ‘That’s why it’s different’

Roxy smiled at him nodding. ‘Not in love my ass’

Eggsy gently rolled her eyes turing sideways to hide a small blush that dusted his cheeks.

‘Wanna know a secret?’ Roxy added. Unwin looked at her with raised eyebrow.

‘Y/N loves you too’ the girl laughed ‘Don’t blew it over some princess. As you said yourself - it’s Y/N’

Roxy’s laughter echoed on the corridor when the doors leading to the room they were in opened and Eggsy left in hurry.

gif 1 gif 2

#eggsy unwin #eggsy x reader #eggsy unwin x reader #eggsy imagine #eggsy unwin imagine #kingsman imagine #kingsman #gary unwin x reader #gary unwin imagine #gary unwin #galahad #galahad x reader #galahad imagine

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thing-you-do-with-that-thing · 7 years

Text

Dream Life

Characters: Y/N (reader), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, unnamed OC

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Mention of previous character death, it’s a bit angsty but not to bad, implied smut

Word Count: 1400ish

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble. I am sure I will learn how to eventually! But you guys told me which character, prompt and gif you wanted me to use. Gif is in the fic and prompt is highlighted. Character was Dean :D

Thanks a billion to the sweet, amazing @emilywritesaboutdean for betaing this for me on short notice.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Dean felt so hopeless as he watched her run for her room as soon as they got back to the Bunker. She hadn’t said a word the entire drive back, which wasn’t like her. Still Dean understood better than anyone what she was going through. Coming back to reality after being stuck in a Djinn’s dream world was brutal. Dean only wished she would talk to him or Sam at least. Sam didn’t push her though, he just ignored Dean’s looks and headed for his own room as soon as they got back, leaving Dean in the library with a bottle of whiskey.

Sitting in the dark of the library, Dean thought about all the things he should have said to her. All the ways he should have forced her to confide in him, but he knew he couldn’t. Y/N didn’t bottle things up like he did. She was a talker and her keeping quiet meant something bad was going on in her head. He felt her slipping aways from him fast and he had no idea what to do about it.

He loved her. Not that he had ever told her or showed her, but still he had no idea how to live this life without her. She was his best friend and the reason he was still able to smile. She forced him to share his crap with her and it had helped. He felt lighter. Stronger, with her around. But Dean had always known none of this would last forever. She wasn’t born into this life or even raised in it. She had been a grieving widow when he had first met her. A damn smart one and tough as hell, but still she had been a civilian. Dean should never had let her follow them or even let her into this life in the first place, but that was 3 years ago now. There was nothing he could do about that decision now. Nothing he could do to change the darkness he had inflicted upon her life, but he could have let her go when he saw her shape cross the library and walk up the stairs carrying her back.

He was going to let her go. Let her walk out of his life forever, but he couldn’t. His every instinct told him she was better off and that he should pretend as if he hadn’t seen her. She wanted to go and he should let her. He just couldn’t.

Without of ever being aware he ever moved, Dean rose from his chair, ran up the stairs and into the rain after her. He told himself he needed to know she was going to be okay and that was all. Dean knew he was lying to himself but he wasn’t ready to face that lie. Having her leave was one thing, but ruining their friendship was not something he was prepared to do.

“Y/N!” Dean called after her and she froze, slowly turning around to face him. Dean’s heart broke when he saw the tears streaming down her face, mixing with the rain.

“I can’t stay. I can’t do this anymore,” she sobbed and Dean had to fight to not run to her and pull her against his chest. He had no right to ask her to stay. He had nothing to offer her. She deserved an apple pie life, a husband that could keep her safe and not put her in danger by merely loving her. She deserved everything Dean wished he could give her, but would never come close to possessing.

“It’s okay. Just… just promise me you are going to be okay,” Dean begged, desperately wanting to ask her to stay, but he couldn’t.

“I can’t. I don’t know that I will be. All I know is it beats the alternative. I can’t stay here with you without really staying with you,” she was full on crying now and Dean’s eyes opened wide in shock. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying.

“Would you be okay if you stayed with me?” Dean asked carefully, using her words, afraid he had misunderstood her. He didn’t want to cause her more pain that she was already going through.

“Dean… please don’t make this any harder. This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she pleaded with him, but Dean couldn’t stop. Not now. Not if there was a chance he had been what she had hallucinated about. Not if there was a chance he could make it real for her.

“Y/N/N sweetheart, just tell me,” Dean carefully took a step forward, no longer paying attention to the cold or the rain. All he saw was the girl standing right in front of him, looking as scared as he felt.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with my best friend okay! I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the only person I have ever been sure about since I lost everything. I am not supposed to be happy that any of this happened, because if it hadn’t I wouldn’t have met him!” she was screaming at him now, but Dean just looked at her. His heart broke for her and he had no idea how to make it better. He had no idea what to say so he said the three words that kept repeating themselves over and over in his mind as his eyes rested upon her.

“I love you,” the words fell from his lips and Y/N stopped. She stopped screaming. She stopped moving. She just stood there staring at him, so Dean swallowed harshly before taking a deep breath, slowly walking towards her.

“I can’t give you a normal life or any of the things that were in that dream of yours, but I love you. If you stay I promise you that will never change and I will do anything to keep you safe. Y/N I…”

Before he could say another word Y/N interrupted him. “I dreamed of this. Here. The Bunker. Sam. Cas. The only change was us. I love you too Dean.”

Dean felt as if the wind had been knocked from his lungs. Of everything she could have said, those words had been the last he expected. Then a smile slid across his face as he took a last step towards her. “That doesn’t have to be a dream sweetheart,” Dean promised her. He had no idea who of them moved first. All he felt was his arms around her and hers around his neck as he kissed her. He kissed her with everything he had been holding back for years and he felt her do the same. They were both out of breath when the broke apart and Dean tenderly rested his forehead against hers, laughing when she whispered, asking him if this was real.

“It’s very real Y/N/N and so will our colds be if we don’t get our asses back inside soon,” he teased making her laugh with him.Their eyes met and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t remember anyone looking at him like she did in that moment. Like he was her entire world. It was terrifying and intoxicating at the same time.

“I love you Dean Winchester. You and this life is all I want,” she promised as if she read his mind and Dean smiled kissing her again. He wasn’t going to screw this up. Not this time. Not with her. He was going to be there for her and keep her safe. She was going to keep him sane and human.

Dean wrapped his arms around her, making her squeal and laugh as he lifted her off ground along with her bag, carrying her back inside the Bunker with him, promising himself tonight would be the last time he’d ever even come close to losing her. Dean would give up his life before he let anything happen to her and he would make sure every monster knew it would be the end of theirs if they as much as looked at her wrong.

“Stop worrying and take me to bed,” Y/N spoke softly in his arms, her hand playing with the hairline on his neck. He smiled and shook his head, impressed she always seemed to know what he was thinking.

The bag fell to the floor at the bottom of the stairs but Y/N stayed in Dean’s arms for the rest of the night, as he proved his love for her over and over again, making Sam wish he had gone to a motel for the night.

Dean Tag Team

@mysupernaturalfics @blacktithe7 @percywinchester27 @torn-and-frayed @iamnotsaneatall @naadestiel @jpadjackles @flufy07 @crushing83 @sleep-silent-angel @thewhisperingfox @fuckyeahfeysand @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @d-s-winchester @akshi8278 @feelmyroarrrr @kayteonline @hexparker @docharleythegeekqueen @starswirlblitz @faith-in-dean @knittingknerdy @quiddy-writes @lenaabs @mysteriouslyme81 @petrovadixon @blanketmadeofstar @arryn-nyxx @winchesters-flannels @winchester-writes @ruprecht0420 @tas898 @emilywritesaboutdean @salvachester @emoryhemsworth @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @mogaruke @supernatural-jackles @jojo-nz @riakie @riakie @adriellej @michirutenshi @dance4angels @castielsbecky @charliebradbury1104 @jayankles @mouselovesmusic @jensenackesl @twistnshoutx @im-most-definitely-fangirling @dudalleo @ivvitm1109 @kathaswings @sinbadcat83 @winchestdiaries @thebunkerismyhome @iwriteaboutdean @winchesterprincessbride @captainradicalpassion @mrswhozeewhatsis @zanthiasplace @redunicorn10 @brooke-supernatural16 @purgatoan @haleyhay96 @covarrubiasalex @becauseimawinchester @deansbaekaz2y5 @mamapeterson @spn-fan-girl-173 @secretlyfurrydragon @be-amaziing @winchesterswoonathon @sandlee44 @roxy-davenport @profkmoriarty13 @bringmesomepie56 @sonofabitch-spn

#dean x reader #dean fluff #dean angst #dean flangst #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester flangst #dean winchester angst #dean imagine #dean winchester imagine #dean fanfiction #spn angst #spn fluff #spn flangst #spn imagine #spn fanfiction #spn family

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ts-seychelles · 5 years

Text

EP. 7 - “It’s Not What I Wanted, But It’s What We Get” - ASYA

https://youtu.be/KygetX1CM98

This is a short confessional as I’m in sunny San Clemente California. This DTC gives me anxiety. Jared’s been very quiet to me since the Zach boot but I gotta put my trust in the ginger. I love our third wheel alliance though. And Roxy is targeting me first like wtf. I had nothing to do with Zach going so don’t try and put it on me. And regan knocked me out of the challenge first so I’m also nervous about that. Overall I could be going tonight and it stinks that I need to put my fate into someone else’s hands. It’s not fun.

Okay so honestly this round is going to be a whole bundle of yikes. I am really trying to make sure that Ashen goes this round. Love Ashen to death, they seem like a very very nice person, but they haven't spoken to me at all, haven't attempted to form a game relationship or a connection, and I have a feeling someone from the OG Lazare is going to go home at their tribal tonight, so I've gotta make sure it's an OG Malabar, and I cannot lose an OG Lazare because then we're going to be going into a merge 6-6 with original numbers, and I lowkey don't count Nicole as an OG Lazare at this point, so I'm not feeling too confident. I also had a long talk with Augusto last night, and we spoke about a lot of things, particularly what we're going to do when we get to the merge, and we know that there are some demons we're going to have to face,,,, we spoke about Regan potentially being an ally of mine (which I actually really want to happen), and then people wanting to immediately go after the power couple of Jared/Nicole, so idkkkkkkkkkkk I know Ricky is another option because Augusto was trying to split up relationships with the original OG Lazare ladies, who apparently had an alliance bc Nicole told Vilma, and then Vilma told Augusto that there was an alliance between Asya, Nicole, Ricky and Roxy, so I know that's definitely something to worry about, letting all four of them get to merge..... BUT I am semi confident in my relationships with all of them. I'm just not too sure. I know I have my own four person alliance to combat this, because I am trying to get something together between Vilma, Dan, Augusto and myself, which I think is just really smart because all four of us seem to be middle of the road players, and we aren't drawing too much attention to ourselves in general, and there are no obvious ties that are being talked about that involve any of the four of us (or so I think), so I think it's a good foursome. I really do feel kinda confident in the merge, but I also know that there is a very good chance I'm one of the first few toast at the merge (even with my idol), but I also know I have the skill to go very deep.................... idk. This merge is going to be interesting, especially with my worrisome relationship with Jared AND Regan, so it's going to be interesting because I see both of them making the merge. SOOOOOOOO back to the plan tonight. I gotta just rationalize with the other OG Lazares (which won't be too hard) to make it seem like we're 4-3ing this bitch, but I know that Dan and Augusto are already down to get Ashen, and I just need them to go simply so I can maximize the amount of relationships I have going into the merge. I am not feeling the strongest about where I am in the game right now, but I am still alive and breathing, and if I just make myself an option to a lot of people, I think that I can make this go well for myself to at least get to that mid jury range :))

(A LITTLE LATER)

It seems like we've gotten to that point of the day today where we've all come to the general consensus that Ashen is going home today. I know we didn't get to talk, and you seem VERY nice, but you've gotta TALK to people after being on a tribe with them for 12 days or so? It isn't the fact that you've been removed from the community this whole time that is causing you to go home, it's your social game :/

I got tons to catch up on cause your resident flop here didn’t make any confessionals last round, so there’s that! From the tribal where Zach went home, I’m surprised that it went the way it did but not at the same time? The way I perceived their tribe when we first swapped was Nicole and Jared grouping together alongside Regan and JG as Malabar was low in numbers, plus Nicole felt a connection to Regan and Jared/JG have been on every tribe together so far. That being said, I totally expected it to be Alex Crooks since Nicole spoke about him really negatively when we were on NuLazare together. I am incredibly happy that sending Ruben to Ghost Island paid off because being honest, I was terrified that Regan would go home since she’s one of my closest people out here, personally and strategically so it would’ve been a massive loss. What the future holds for Nicole/Jared/JG/Regan will be interesting because I can also see Nicole/Jared flipping to the Lazares on that tribe since they are so much in the middle, moreso Nicole than anyone else.

(AFTER NUMEROUS ATTEMPTS TO RETRIEVE OUR CAMERA)

As far as the tribal council I went to last round, Vi leaving was not my PREFERRED plan, but I am also here to play a long term game, so I can’t be hellbent on making crazy moves that benefit me in a short term setting. I did think it was a good time to get rid of Ricky as Vi could’ve been used as a scapegoat for that vote and we could’ve kept Asya on her toes and gotten rid of Vi right after, but it is what it is. Will I try to keep going for Ricky/Asya ths vote? I’m not really sure because I don’t want to seem like a limited player that doesn’t see every perspective, especially if we’re heading into a merge soon.

(WE OBVIOUSLY FAILED)

Tea, tea, tea, tea, and more TEA! I really think my alliance/Final 2 with Johnny is paying off because he STAYS telling me information, so that’s exciting! For starters, there’s an alliance between himself, Vilma, and Asya. That worries me just a tad because Asya also has Ricky, so she’s kinda well protected but ngl, her social game with me is kinda ass so I’m wondering how that’ll be with other people if we merge. Johnny also let me know that Vilma found the idol clue in her beer, which she totally lied to me about but I’m not surprised cause I’d do the same thing. Said clue led her to find the Takamaka Idol however, which makes me sad because I was super close to finding it myself as it was at the Wheel at the Shipwreck, a location that I’ve been looking in for quite some time so yay for me being an unlucky dumbass. I am aware now that both Johnny and Vilma have idols, which is good for me since I’m the only person outside of Johnny to know who owns 2 idols. When I went on call with Johnny, he was telling me about his good connections with Ruben, his somewhat okay relationship with Crooks, and how he thinks Roxy is shady which was good to know. He also told me tea on how Zach tried to initiate an alliance early on in OG Lazare. It’s good to have all this tea, but Johnny is my supplier and that makes me a bit nervous that in our Final 2, he holds the reins. That’s like late game thinking and it’s too early for that, but I just gotta be realistic and keep it in the back of my mind.

(GOOD GOD)

Get your popcorn folks because tonight we’re having a Double Tribal Feature! Yeah, Double Tribals really spook me since a large part of why I have unfinished business is because I went home at a Double Tribal in Great Lakes. Hopefully, I can move past this little speedbump to race closer to the end! <3 As much as I would’ve loved a clue to the idol, it’s already been found so being put on the spot and exposed for getting a clue didn’t seem all that worth it to me, but I guess everyone else on my tribe felt the same! With no one having immunity, my odds of staying increased a bit so that’s cute, but for whatever reason I’m nervous. With me being the messy ass that I am, I did talk to Ashen about maybe voting Ricky last round and Ashen very much tried to not do that by even telling me that Ricky and them discussed how Ricky is only close to Asya from OG Lazare and how he doesn’t really fuck with anyone else. Ultimately, we all voted for Vi and that discussion died down, but I am afraid that Ashen told Ricky. Johnny also told me that Ricky was beginning to think I was the reason for his tribal anxiousness and I fear that has to do with what I told Ashen. Thankfully, Johnny deflected and Ricky isn’t TOO spooked by me. It just further shows that I can’t be trusting people with valuable information; another part of my unfinished business.

(JEFF PROBST RECAP WHO?)

Finally, a sis is in an alliance! The one with Ashen, Drake, and Samantha doesn’t really count imo so yeah. The Golden Girls is an alliance with myself, Johnny, Dan, and Vilma in it and like, I love it? It’s been in the works ever since the first or second night of this swap since we all just sorta vibed with one another but I think it’s good that we formally came together, especially for this vote as it determines the potential merge. The consensus we’ve agreed on is doing Ashen this vote, which is like good and bad for me? The only negative is that it gives Johnny and Vilma more flexibility to go between The Golden Girls and the alliance with Asya, plus the fact that we’re keeping a duo in the game. However, Ricky/Asya can be a meat shield during the merge (or a key component in a move but whatever hbgfjdks) so there’s that. Ashen is someone who has always been shady to me, so getting rid of that should lift a weight off of my shoulders. It’s been two votes where Ashen has sort of put their foot down and caused me to go in another direction, so heading into a merge with that type of player is a spell for disaster. I could also use this vote to build a bridge with Ricky and Asya since like, I might need them! Communication is a two way street and I’ve tried to cross it many times, but they usually put a stop to any convo in the past so let’s hope we can build that a bit more. As for the other tribe, I hope Ruben or Crooks leave so that I can have more options at the merge since it’s looking like I might not have all that many.

https://youtu.be/xWiMmEe2QYo

well idk what to do. I want to keep Alex but JG does not. jg is not budging like tf

So me and Johnny are playing everyone HA my life is good. I don’t feel nervous which probably means I’m donezo. I really don’t like playing the middle but ts the safest bet rn. I just am doing my best not to get caught but I’m sure I’ll be found out soon enough!!!

So going into this round I’ve been a huge ass fucking mess. First I wanted to get Jg regan and Roxy together to split up the duo but because of JG not helping me win immunity I went to Jared for help. He told me if I voted Roxy then I’ll prove my loyalty. Only thing is I risk being at the bottom of that trio by doing that

(A LITTLE LATER)

On the flip side of it regan JG and Roxy begged me saying they are loyal to that 4. They say they wanna vote Alex. So unless I’m being played which there is a huge ass chance of that I’m the swing. Part of me wants to vote out Alex but the issue is that if any of those 3 don’t vote Alex and he stays I lose my chance to prove myself and if they aren’t already voting me I go to merge with nobody

(EVEN LATER)

But I’m a risk taker and honestly this trio needs to be divided ASAP

So this round has been... wild. I'm playing so risky this round because I don't want any votes against me. I would have a lot more room to play if I didn't give a shit about that but I'm crackt and uhhhh.... here we are. I had a call with Ruben last night where I basically forced him into voting for Roxy, because I said she will already have a majority of the votes on her, so voting her would be a sign of loyalty to me, and then I will have his back in the future. I told him I was being honest and it opened up more options for him. - 1, he can take that information to gather votes against me, and if it works, good on him! - 2, if he tries that and it doesn't work, I can't trust him and he will be super fucked at merge. Then, I was honest with Alex about who I wanted out, because I want him to see I am true to my word. I told JG and Regan the plan. Roxy is voting Alex TO MY KNOWLEDGE, and Ruben has a chat with Regan and JG where he said he will vote me or Alex. I told Regan to make him think it's Alex, so I can see where his loyalty lies, AND because Alex is not actually going home----- Alex will hold a bigggg vendetta against Ruben. And IIIIIIIIIII didn't lie to Ruben, SO WE GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! That's if it all works out. There is potential for Roxy to play an advantage and the votes to actually be on me. If so, good on them.

https://youtu.be/LKXlhMBUhyw

Tonight is the double tribal night and it has been strangely quiet these past few hours even though tribal is already starting in a little over an hour. As far as I know Ashen is getting voted out tonight, and I was originally against the plan because Ashen was the main person who wanted to help me stay in the game a few rounds ago. I know I'm going to feel really shitty voting for them after all that happened. :''''''''''''''''''''''( It sucks. But upon reflecting I decided that I'm not going to go out of my way to save Ashen because both sides (Dan&Augusto vs. Ricky&Asya) were surprisingly okay with the idea of voting out Ashen tonight, and I want to stay on everyone's good side going to the merge. I don't want to make any big enemies just yet, since I'm sure the first merge rounds will be super intense and the alliance lines seem to be really fuzzy right now. I'm currently kinda trying to play the middle with Johnny, and it's definitely risky, but exciting at the same time! I've never really been in this middle position before. I'm still paranoid that I'm going to get blindsided tonight, but that's nothing new honestly. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hold on to my idol for another round. But I will play it as soon as I start getting any weird vibes, I definitely don't want to go home with it! Respectfully yours with sincere gratitude, Vilma666

https://youtu.be/S0UjIBwTsiE

I TOLD JARED AND THEN NICOLE I HAVE THE IDOL WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. ugh

#itsgametimekids

0 notes

ruthkgjornary93insurance-blog · 5 years

Text

Car insurance is wasting my money?

I have been paying for my car insurance for over three years. I spent over 5000$ or more. what should i do i m sick of paying them please helpppppp. I work my a** up everyday and then i only get half of my salary cuz of them.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecostfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

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