#rumblespheres

[you-hate-time-travel]

sometimes when you're making a fandesign, like alien or just another outfit, you just gotta willfully misinterpret the original a bit. whether that be text or visuals

[tgcg]

tell your loved ones

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:01 --

TG: hey im on the john

JOHN: hey, dave is taking a dump.

TG: taking a shit just so were clear

JADE: jeez!!!!!!! even when im not online i have to hear about it

TG: i know you care so youre first to know

JOHN: i'm just giving you a heads up for the bajillion messages you will definitely have about this when you get home.

EB: god, thank you. that is awesome. dave fans everywhere are gonna go NUTS for this truth nugget.

EB: hey, i am at the store with jade!

TG: tell her the news

EB: i did as soon as you first pinged me, don't worry.

TG: hell yeah see you just fucking get it

JADE: well tell him i say congrats!

EB: she says congrats.

EB: also that you left your "yeah! woo!" machine at her place.

EB: and that you are gross and smell like a dog took a dump on a fart even when you aren't crapping during our conversations.

TG: goddamn

EB: jk that last bit was me heheh. but she nodded!

EB: so anyways, a yeah woo machine?

EB: what the hell even IS that?

JADE: its more or less a machine that yeahs and woos

TG: its basically a machine that yeahs and woos

EB: ok, yeah, that is pretty much exactly what jade said too. apparently this is supposed to be obvious.

JADE: its pretty self explanatory!

TG: pretty self explanatory stuff

TG: anyways im gonna tell karkat this time i think im ready for that

EB: oh shit (LOL), that's a pretty big deal, right? good luck dude.

--

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:03 --

TG: ok karkat can i be unbelievably candid with you is dj crabapple ready for this

TG: this is a really big deal for me but like no pressure

CG: SHIT, IS EVERYTHING OK?

CG: DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE.

TG: no no its good i just really need to confess something

CG: WHATEVER IT IS, TELL ME. I'M HERE.

TG: alright

TG: deep breath strider

--

TG: im dropping mad logs like bars in the ablution block vantas

TG: shit is on fire

TG: downright heretical like a shat outta hell

TG: and since im feeling penitent i figure our pesterlogs are pretty much akin to a confessional booth right

CG:

--

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:04 --

TT: Hey Dave.

TT: Are you, by any chance, taking a shit right now?

TG: damn word spreads fast on the information superhighway

TT: Yes, I have had the news forwarded to me via this bountiful virtual dimension of knowledge and culture we call the World Wide Web by a fellow enthusiast, one ectoBiologist.

TT: Frankly I'm heartbroken you didn't come to me about it first.

TT: Please, divulge to your loving sister the nature of your bowel movements, in exhaustive detail. Highlights in a notarized list, an overall ranking grade of your experience, whether you would recommend it to your friends, et cetera. These would be among my most pertinent avenues of inquiry.

TG: you were next on the mailing list rose im already on it

TG: boutta weave a verbal tapestry no holds barred just for you about my rambunctious foray down in brown town

TG: stay tubed

TT: Thank god. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't peruse your commodal follies like the morning gazette.

TG: dont act like this has educational value rose

TG: we all know my daily bullshit has got a laugh track

TG: like damn what kind of gazettes are you getting

TT: The best kind, Dave. Only the best kind.

TG: thanks for the vote of confidence

TG: wait gimme a sec karkat pinged

TT: Of course. I understand it's quite a big deal for you.

--

CG: OK.

CG: SINCE THIS APPARENTLY SKIRTS THE FRESHEST BUDS OF OUR BRO-DOM'S BURGEONING FROND NUB, I *ALSO* HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHARE.

CG: I HOPE YOUR REFLECTIVE ABLUTION VAULT IS STOCKED WITH FUCKING RUMBLESPHERE TRANQUILIZERS, BECAUSE THIS EXCHANGE IS ABOUT TO GET SHITHIVE MAGGOTS.

CG: LISTEN CAREFULLY.

TG: whats up

--

CG: I AM ALSO ON THE LOAD GAPER RIGHT NOW.

TG: oh shiiit

CG: DON'T UNCLENCH YOUR EXPLOSIVE FUCKING SEED FLAP JUST YET, BECAUSE THERE'S *MORE*!

CG: I AM *ALSO* TAKING A CRAP.

TG: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

CG: OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

[mysterioushistorian]

the return of peloswap! i decided to redraw some of his doodle comics this time. ogs under cut

about that first one. marsti's rumblespheres would change ardata's mind.

[artbyifer]

Hello, hope you're doing well. What's that black thing at the bottom of your HS troll's feet? Is it padding or shoes?

I am indeed doing well, thank you! :)

Good question, and good guesses! I took a lot of inspiration from spider and beetle feet for my trolls.

It is particularly clear on the beetle feet (right) that the bottom of the foot has a pad of thickly packed hairs (setae). While in tiny arthropods these are largely used to stick to stuff, Trolls benefit more from the padding function.

In mammals, we've got nice big fat pads on our soles to cushion our bones from impacts. You can really see it on the elephant (right).

(forgive the quick sketch) The setae on troll feet does the same thing. They're dense, thick and springy. They also provide a barrier from sharp rocks and stuff, add surface area and friction for gripping, and give sensory feedback on what kinda stuff they're standing on, like whiskers. They've probably got a bit of movement to them too, to better adapt to different surfaces and the like by tightening or loosening the spread between hairs or changing how tense the spring is.

You may have noticed that I rarely draw Trolls with shoes on. Part of that is just I put a lot of effort into the feet to just cover them up (and I think they're cool), and part of it's that it's hard to design clothing for an alien species (shirts and neckwear is especially irritating with the way the rumblespheres are positioned in the front as opposed to humans' side shoulders, plus the sensitivity of the gillslits) but also any shoes would have to give a definite bonus over what bare feet would give them.

So you'd still want access to your toeclaws for both weaponry, grip, and mobility. And you'd want a lot more protection from the elements than the setae give you if you're going to sacrifice the sensory and movement aspects to put something with a sole on, plus you need to be able to put them on and keep them on without damaging the hairs or getting snagged on the claws, and anything that straps underneath is going to be awkward if the hairs can go on either side of the straps (though between the two toes is probably a good anchor).

I have done it a few times though! The ergonomics aren't perfect, but here the Distrait Life of Mistakes (@temporaldecay [deactivated]) crew aresacrificing that for fashion; theming their shoes for their misc/redrom, palerom, and blackrom rave gear respectively. (occurs to me the palewear shoes would be even more provocative with claw covers or softpaw nail tips; really lower your damage capacity. Oh well, too late :) )

Thank you so much for the question, anon <3!!

[mmmmalo]

Also "clam your rumblespheres" is obviously a play on the old tumblr shibboleth "calm your tits" but it also points to concealment, within the clam shell. Meulin declaring they will remain gleefully unclammed is some Free The Nipple shit that goes alongside that sneaky lactation emoji... though at the same time, the scene's emphasis on damaged sensory organs and Meulin slamming the #UNSEE button when Kurloz mimes something weird makes it sound like a way of saying "close your eyes" too, kind of blurring whether the obscene object or the crying elf is getting shielded.

[badlydrawncronus]

which of your friends are your favs and why

CA: definitely kan and por

CA: i mean, havwe you seen kans ass??? and pors rumblespheres?

[davekat-sucks]

And if someone argues that Homestuck was always like since the series also mentions stuff like piss, shit, dicks, bulges, and rumblespheres and tits because it's still a comic that was made for older teens and up, I don't think it went as far to be depicted as sexual sexual. At best, most it was used as an insult towards someone/somebody, a means of sarcasm, shock like WHAT THE FUCK, and a Little Monsters reference. The closest that does hint of borderline sexual intimacy would be when Gamzee says BiTcHtItS around Terezi, with her showing a bit weirded out. And they say Eridan was the perverted creep when he barely uttered anything about boobs. He'd probably be like Caliborn and find handholding the lewdest form of flushed connection.

[birchbow]

Did these start as pinups?? yes, so they do get the mature tag, lol. But also I got really excited while I was drawing them about the concept of "ratemyprofessor" for clown aliens, so here's a bunch of various chests of various genders lol

Karkat has the highest positive rating in the fleet. is it partially because he's new and has less ratings?? yes. Is he also going to stay very highly rated, to everybody's annoyance??? yes obviously lol.

Transcripts of my chickenscratch below the cut

UDERAK, IANCHE - "INQUIRER", 55% positive, 45% negative

"Kind of a creep, but he does know what he's talking about." "Don't get on his bad side. Motherfucker holds a grudge." "Great ass and he knows it. 9/10 because you can't honk it." "Finding his schoolfeed is the hardest part of taking it." "Fucking douche just likes to piss people off." "Don't even joke about girls being better laughsassins/ contorturenists, he'll chew your fucking face off."

KRELLE, VENENO - "UNTOXXIC, 73% positive, 27% negative

"Hard to tell what they're saying." "They won't go easy on you, but they have their shit on fucking lock." "If this was smash or pass, I'd smash." "I heard anyone they kiss dies." "Thinkpan like a steel fucking trap, just let them talk their own pace or they'll kick you out of class."

STELOS, ARELUX - "SUNGAZER", 82% positive, 18% negative

"Great feeder! Bring sponge-clot protectors." "Best schoolfeeding you'll ever have screamed at you." "She'll tell your fortune if you ask her! Know your patron saint first, she'll ask." "Do NOT try anything. Her matesprit's fucking cracked." "Don't try it. She's just as cracked as her matesprit."

TRAVYE, HALORE - "STÆDFAST", 43% positive, 57% negative

"Hardass motherfucker!" "You'll sure the fuck learn the scriptures, if you survive." "Best rumblespheres and worst bitchface on the Dark Carnival." "I have never once seen this motherfucker smile." "Bluh bluh, huge bitch." "Best scripture feeder in the fleet, you guys are just mean. And weak. Get good."

VANTAS, KARKAT - (UNTITLED), 98% positive, 2% negative

"This motherfucker can TALK, holy shit." "Prepare to get hot for feeder. He'll say some steamy-ass shit straight up and you'll get stupid." "Heretic overstepping piece of shit doesn't belong here." "^^^ Eat my nook, feeder Vantas knows what's up." "Watch as many old romcoms as you can now, or he'll make you do it later." "I wanna put my face in his rumblespheres." "Seconded but stay the fuck on topic."

[aita-alternia]

oh gawg ii remember the last time hiic came tow grublr a few years agow. she outlawed all “female-presenting rumblespheres” except her own

I H^VE H^D SOME TRE^SONOUS THOUGHTS I WILL BE KEEPING TO MYSELF!!!!

[kayforpay]

Rubs my little rat hands I think Gamjane could fit good for the worship square on that bingo chart...

Despite the inherent issues related to a new world, one thing that had been shockingly easy was settling into Jane's hive. Or, their hive, together, now. Jane always said our place when she talked to people about it, and Gamzee, for the first time, really enjoyed that someone gave him ownership of something he never directly asked for.

Granted, this was something he actually wanted to own.

"My prettiest fuckin' gal." Gamzee's face pressed into the soft skin at the side of Jane's neck, and she giggled, wrapping a hand around the base of his horn. "Flush'a my life. Darlin'."

The kitchen chair he was sitting in when he pulled her into his lap creaked when she wiggled in his hold. "Gamzee, your hands are cold! And I was making something, you know." Jane turned to kiss his ear, her lipstick smearing on his skin.

He hummed, squeezing her stomach and nuzzling his face against her. She was right, his hands were cold, but they were quickly warming against her skin. Humans ran much hotter than trolls, even warmbloods, probably. He hadn't really tested it. The squeezy thing on Jane's rumblespheres rolled up, pulling the edge of her shirt up as it went, and she yelped between laughs as he wrapped his hands around her spheres, fingers brushing over her nipples.

"Gam, honey, what're you doing?" Jane asked, sliding one hand up his arm to cover his own hand. Her hand was so much smaller than his, her palms softer. He pulled it up to kiss her knuckles, purring. "Are you gonna let me turn the oven off before you finish taking my shirt off?"

Gamzee hummed, teeth dragging against her neck. "Mmmmmmaybe. Gonna have to carry you somewhere nice'n soft to keep this up." He slid his other hand down her front, over the soft swell of her stomach, to pull her skirt up.

"What got you so riled up, anyway?" As she slipped out of his hold, Jane peeled her own shirt over her head, dropping it and the undershirt thing she wore on the floor. The oven beeped to let her know it was off, and she turned just before he was clinging to her again, and caught his face between her palms. "Not that I mind, my silly valentine."

His face split in a wide, silly grin, and he leaned down to kiss her, licking the taste of her lipstick and then into her mouth. She broke away when he lifted her up, pulling her legs around his hips with both hands on her ass to hold her up. "Cuz you're so pretty, Janey. Specially when you're hummin' to yourself while ya cook." He purred, slowly stepping away from the counter she was trying to lean on.

"G-Gamzee, I'm too heavy, I'll fall!" She hissed, pushing at his shoulders until he froze, letting her lean on the counter again. "L-let me walk, okay?"

He lifted her a little higher, pouting. "I'm not gonna drop you, Janey. You're not too heavy for me to carry." He flexed his arms, and stepped back, so all she could do was lean into his chest. "See, baby? I got you."

Jane's face was hot, flushed against his neck. "I just don't want you to strain yourself. I'm not light." She tightened her hold around his waist, fingers digging into his skinny back.

"I'm not. And even if I was--" Gamzee stopped, one foot up on the stairs towards their bedroom, and kissed her again, lightly. "It'd be worth it, gettin' to hold onto a gal as sweet'n fine as you."

Her face was still hot when he set her on the bed, but she was smiling again, and ran a hand through the messy curls on his head. "You're making me blush, Gamzee. You don't have to say it so much." She closed her eyes when he pulled her glasses off, and opened them when he kissed her forehead.

"D'you not like it? I'll stop if you don't like it, but I just, y'know." He set her glasses aside, and slid to his knees between hers. The zipper on the side of her skirt clicked as he pulled it down, and she lifted her hips to let him pull it down. "I just think you're so fuckin' pretty. So cute." He breathed, leaning in to press open-mouthed kisses to her collar and chest. "Love you s'much, Janey."

Jane's thighs pressed against his ribs, like she was trying to squirm them closed, and he dragged his tongue over her rumblesphere, pulling her nipple into his mouth. "I don't dislike it, it's just embarrassing." Her voice pitched slightly higher when he cupped his hand against her crotch, pressing base of his palm against her.

He trailed kisses over her chest, and bit her side, careful not to bruise, before moving to her other breast with a soft whimper, nosing against her skin. "Nothin' embarrassing 'bout bein' so fucking gorgeous. Hard to keep my hands offa you, Janey." Gamzee's other hand slid up her side, and stroked her bottom lip with his thumb.

She bit her bottom lip, and held his hand while she laughed sheepishly. “You’re cute, Gamzee.” Jane’s lips were curled into a smile when they pressed to his palm, and her eyes were half-lidded when Gamzee peeked up at her from where he was kissing her tummy.

“Thank you, Janeybug. Always so sweet t'me." He leaned his cheek on her knee, and stroked her thighs, after he took his hand back from her hold. "Wanna lay down?"

Jane laid back, and laughed again when Gamzee pulled her knees over his shoulders. She was about to say something when he pressed his open mouth to the front of her panties, letting his tongue drag over the silky fabric, and she squealed. Her hands dug into Gamzee's hair, nails dragging around the bases of his horns. He purred against her, hands wrapped tight around her thighs to hold her still when she squirmed.

"W-wait, let me take these off, Gam." She mumbled, each breath she took coming out in a soft sigh. He hooked one of his fangs over the seam of the leg hole, and ripped them open. "Gamzee--"

Her voice trailed off into a husky moan while Gamzee pressed his mouth against her, and she pulled his head against her more firmly. The hardest part of this, Gamzee had learned, was that he wanted to cling onto her with all his strength, squeeze her and hold her still so she couldn't wiggle out of his hold. He wanted to sink his fingers into the soft flesh of her thighs, but he couldn't do that. Jane bruised, and bled, and although she never complained or told him that he couldn't do it, he felt bad.

Instead, he satisfied himself with running his hands over her body while he pressed his tongue into her nook. He couldn't remember what she called it, and it was similar enough to a nook that he didn't really think it was that important. Her back bent, pushing her hips up into Gamzee's mouth, and her hands brushed into his own as she moved to grope her chest, her voice getting higher. He licked a stripe up her nook, circling it around the nub up above it before taking a second to tear her panties off the rest of the way.

"So pretty, Janey. So good." He mumbled, mouth leaving messy trails on her thigh when he kissed it. "Love you. You're so fuckin' hot, feel like I could spill just lookin' at you."

Jane's hands moved back into his hair, and she slid her knees off his shoulders. "I love you, Gamzee. Are you not gonna join me?" She cupped his cheeks, and he crawled over her as she sat back the rest of the way.

"Always spoilin' me, Janey." He mumbled, smiling against the plush curve of her shoulder. Jane pushed his pants down his skinny hips, and Gamzee breathed a little sigh when her hand pressed to his sheatheslit. "Motherfuck, you're so warm."

Not that it was a surprise, which she reminded him of every time it came up, including this time. At least, until he kissed her again, and she couldn't talk. It didn't take much for his bulge to snake out and wrap around her wrist, and she didn't hesitate in leading it towards her nook. Gamzee's fingers sunk into the bedspread while his bulge's blunted diamond-shaped tip slid against her folds before finally pressing into her.

Jane moaned, her head falling back, while Gamzee's bulge moved deeper into her. His own breath was coming short by the time they were flush together, and Jane's voice was low and rolling in moans. She had mentioned once, when he had pestered her into telling him what she liked, that the way he would mostly grind against her, as opposed to thrusting, was a plus. His bulge writhed and twisted, and he did his best not to bruise her ass when he held her.

Her lips brushed his ear with each moan, her arms tight around his shoulders. Most of her moans were soft, restrained, but she said his name, over and over. He couldn't think past how she sounded when she said it, pleased and breathless and gods her breath was so warm against his skin, her skin was so hot, her nook was almost burning.

When she came, her nails dug into his back, dragging deep furrows into his back while she clenched around him, hips jerking against his. Her wetness slid against his pelvis, and before he even had to ask, she bit his ear, just as hard as she ever dared, just hard enough. He whimpered, twitching, and spilled into her.

"S'good." He mumbled, thighs twitching. He fell to the side to avoid landing on her, and tucked is face into her neck again. "What were you makin'?"

Jane hummed, running one hand over his back in soothing circles. "Spaghetti. Are you hungry now?" She wiggled, pushing herself away from the edge of the bed.

"Mm. A little. Did just have a snack."

[alterniatifu]

TIFU by stuffing my face with edibles befΩre dinner with my matesprit's (ridiculΩusly strait-laced) mΩirail.

Recently, I traveled tΩ the city with my matesprit tΩ meet up with her mΩirail. As a resident Ωf a VERY rural area -- and as sΩmeΩne whΩ dΩes nΩt have the patience fΩr the lΩwblΩΩd drΩne delivery system -- the thing I was lΩΩking fΩrward tΩ mΩst was the chance tΩ buy fancy highblΩΩd drugs. What cΩuld pΩssibly gΩ wrΩng? 

SΩ the first thing I dΩ upΩn arriving (after ditching the quad cΩrner) is drag my matesprit tΩ a nearby alley fΩr a shΩpping spree. And Ωh my gΩd, it was just like in my dreams. TΩns Ωf different ΩptiΩns in neat little sample jars and a helpful delinquent walking me thrΩugh the variΩus ΩptiΩns: 

"Looking for a meLLow body high? or do you want something with a bit more... energy? or are you just after something Light to take the edge off?"  

"Yes, yes and yes!" I reply eagerly, like a grub in an empΩrium dedicated tΩ the sale Ωf sugary substances, and request an eighth-Ωunce Ωf abΩut 7 different ΩptiΩns. In hindsight, if I learned anything frΩm this experience, it is that my math and science schΩΩlfeeds never taught me basic infΩrmatiΩn, like "what is an Ωunce?" Ωr "hΩw much trΩll weed can a brΩnzeblΩΩd cΩnsume in a single weekend?" Sure, I can tell yΩu when twΩ speeding trains leaving separate statiΩns will cΩllide Ωr recite trΩll AvΩgadrΩ's Number, but it turns Ωut that nΩne Ωf that infΩrmatiΩn is particularly relevant tΩ getting high in a respΩnsible and efficient manner. 

And it was at this alley that I alsΩ learned that lΩwblΩΩds can't actually smΩke in public places if they dΩn't want tΩ be culled. As a result, befΩre leaving, I begged my matesprit tΩ buy sΩme edibles that I cΩuld munch Ωn until we fΩund a place tΩ prΩperly get lit. After expressing shΩck as tΩ the absurd vΩlume Ωf drugs that we were buying (unlike me, she understands the Imperial measurement system) she relents, and we walk Ωut Ωf the stΩre with what felt like a dump truck Ωf trΩll weed plus a small package Ωf seemingly-innΩcuΩus cΩΩkies. 

When we finally get back tΩ the hΩtel rΩΩm, I tear thΩse bad bΩys Ωpen... Ωnly tΩ find abΩut a dΩzen tiny cΩΩkies rΩughly the size Ωf a quarter. What the fuck, Thrashthrust? Seeing the skepticism (and hunger) in my eyes, my matesprit warns me that I shΩuld gΩ easy and lΩΩk at the back Ωf the package first befΩre trying Ωne. 

"DΩse size: 1/2 cΩΩkie," I read silently as I start taking micrΩ-bites frΩm the edges, like a glacial treetrudger gnawing at the wΩrld's tiniest, mΩst succulent leaf. But what kind Ωf a savage Ωnly eats half a cΩΩkie? SΩ a secΩnd later, I cΩvertly pΩp the remainder intΩ my mΩuth. 

And then I quickly stuff anΩther twΩ cΩΩkies in my mΩuth the mΩment my matesprit turns her back. We may nΩt have trΩll weed back hΩme, but I rΩutinely devΩur an entire package Ωf miniature chΩcΩlate sandwich cΩΩkies in Ωne sitting withΩut breaking a sweat. YΩur mΩve, edibles. 

AbΩut 30 minutes later we are in the backseat Ωf her mΩirails' scuttlebuggy Ωn the way tΩ dinner. And that's when things start tΩ gΩ rumblespheres-up. My digestive bladder grΩwls. LΩudly and angrily. My matesprit lΩΩks at me with inquisitive eyes that seem tΩ say "DIαRRHEα?" But I merely clutch my tummy and mumble sΩmething abΩut altitude sickness. 

"YOU DIDN'T EαT α WHOLE COOKIE, DID YOU?" she asks, 10% in genuine cΩncern and 90% in seething irritatiΩn. 

"Ωf cΩurse nΩt." I respΩnd, avΩiding eye cΩntact fΩr the remainder Ωf the scuttlebuggy ride. 

A few minutes later we are climbing Ωut Ωf her mΩirails' scuttlebuggy and heading intΩ sΩme trendy midblΩΩd restaurant. I dΩn't remember hΩw I made it tΩ my seat, and I dΩn't remember even lΩΩking at the menu, but I dΩ remember the cΩncerned lΩΩk Ωn the waiter's face as he asked me if I was dΩing alright. 

"Keep it tΩgether, man," I say tΩ myself. But my matesprit's sudden grΩan suggests that I may have alsΩ said that tΩ the waiter. Things are gΩing dΩwnhill fast. 

The waiter nΩds sympathetically, takes Ωur Ωrders, and then heads tΩ the next table. 

The mΩment he walks away, my matesprit is staring daggers at me. I start tΩ wΩrry that the jig is up. 

"YOU αRE SWEαTING... FROM YOUR ENTIRE FαCE," she says with bΩth pity and disgust. NΩt quite knΩwing what tΩ dΩ, I reach fΩr a neatly fΩlded slice Ωf absΩrbency paper and prΩceed tΩ blΩt my cheeks, nΩse, neck, chin and fΩrehead. 

At this pΩint, my matesprit's mΩirail lΩΩks Ωver at me with sΩme cΩncern. "...are you alright?" he asks, not unkindly. 

"Yeah, the fΩΩd's just a bit spicy," I reply, far tΩΩ quick tΩ realize that we had literally just Ωrdered and that there is nΩthing Ωn the table except fΩr a basket Ωf dinner rΩlls. 

My matesprit kicks me under the table tΩ grab my attentiΩn. "PUBLIC αBLUTION BLOCK. NOW." She hisses. "GET IT TOGETHER." 

I reluctantly get up frΩm the table and head fΩr the public ablutiΩn blΩck. After splashing several handfuls Ωf water Ωn my face, I apprΩach a wall-mΩunted lΩad gaper and start tΩ pee. 

NΩw, Ωne Ωf the mΩre discΩncerting effects Ωf thΩse miniature edible mΩnstrΩsities is the feeling that time has becΩme untethered frΩm reality. As I am peeing, I start tΩ get the very unsettling feeling that I have been taking a piss fΩr the better part Ωf an hΩur and that my matesprit must be pacing arΩund the restaurant wΩrried abΩut me. 

But deep dΩwn I knΩw that is absurd: I've been peeing all my life, sΩmetimes multiple times a day. I've prΩbably taken mΩre than 50,000 leaks, and it usually Ωnly takes abΩut a minute at mΩst. SΩ given that my typical pee is nΩ mΩre than 60 secΩnds -- and given that it feels like I am abΩut half way dΩne -- that means that I've prΩbably Ωnly been standing here abΩut 30 secΩnds, right? 

But the trΩll at the wall-mΩunted lΩad gaper next tΩ me dΩesn't respΩnd, and instead starts shuffling away frΩm me mid-stream, like a nervΩus supplikatydid. I try, albeit unsuccessfully, tΩ break eye-cΩntact. 

After finally finishing, I again splash sΩme water Ωn my face and return tΩ my seat, making sure tΩ apΩlΩgize tΩ the table "fΩr being gΩne such a lΩng time" just in case my math was Ωff. 

Next, I try briefly tΩ engage in small talk with my matesprit's mΩirail, but I am far tΩΩ high tΩ understand what either Ωf us are saying. NΩt wanting tΩ start laughing uncΩntrΩllably at the wrΩng mΩment -- Ωr, really, at any mΩment -- I figure the safest idea is tΩ nΩd my head periΩdically and drink a tΩn Ωf water. NΩthing cures mental fatigue like water, right? TΩ my matesprit's hΩrrΩr, I stand up, grab my water glass and thrust it Ωut tΩ the waiter, whΩ unfΩrtunately is Ωn the ΩppΩsite side Ωf the restaurant. But he turns Ωut tΩ be really cΩΩl and, after making his way Ωver tΩ Ωur table, tells me that he'll dΩ his best tΩ keep me stΩcked with ice water fΩr the rest Ωf the meal. He alsΩ helpfully suggests that if the dinner rΩlls aren't tΩΩ spicy fΩr me, I shΩuld prΩbably eat Ωne Ωr twΩ sΩ that I'm nΩt sitting there Ωn an empty stΩmach. 

Smart man. 

HΩwever, after gΩing thrΩugh all Ωf the bread Ωn the table and three glasses Ωf water, I start tΩ get wΩrried that I need actual fΩΩd tΩ Ωffset the grΩwing paranΩia frΩm thΩse tiny deliciΩus devils. "DΩ yΩu think I shΩuld flag dΩwn the waiter again and ask what's taking sΩ lΩng?" I suggest helpfully tΩ my matesprit's mΩirail. 

"...what? βut we just ordered three minutes ago." 

And at this exchange, my matesprit lΩses her cΩΩl. "HOW MαNY COOKIES DID YOU EαT?!" she demands. 

"WhΩa, easy there, trΩll TΩrquemada," I respΩnd, sΩmewhat hΩrrified at her Ωutburst. "I had a few cΩΩkies, but keep it dΩwn. I dΩn't want yΩur mΩirail tΩ knΩw hΩw fucked up I am right nΩw." 

"REαLLY?! REαLLY?!?! HE'S SITTING TWO FEET αWAY FROM YOU! HE KNOWS!" 

I am never, ever, ever living this dΩwn.

.

[stuckstucktrolls]

no one asked but I figure I should specify how Teagan would be the same and different physically had he been AFAB

He'd actually be a bit taller, though with softer features, still having a fairly thin/athletic build but a little curvy. Obviously he has rumblespheres now, but outside of either cultural or hormonal differences that would affect behavior, trolls aren't as strongly sex dimorphic so I don't see any other changes.

He also still has the bionic arm and eye, along with any other major scars he's gotten.

[kanayanonymous]

Well Now My Rumblespheres Are Covered In Festive Holinight Frosting

[mycrappyrpsideblog]

Teagan flops onto Oz, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. "I'm back To normal. kinda going To miss The rumblespheres Tho...."

They help to adjust Teags so they'll both be comfortable before slipping a hand under his shirt before sighing heavily.

"I will also miss your boobs. Maybe I'll feed you a bunch so you get chubby and soft. I'd feel both incredibly powerful and proud should I succeed."

[big-mfing-clown]

What sorta things are you into?

im noT a complicaTed Troll. i don'T give a fuck abouT clouT, or kill counT, or who pails the mosT wiTh whoever.

i like scrapbooking. Taking picTures. going on walks. The occasional beaTdown of some poor moTherfucker. empTying my gianT lower rumblespheres inTo some poor seadweller or someThing.

The simple Things.

:o)

(I'll have a kink list going on here somewhere soon enough, but for now if you see me posting it or liking it, you can assume I'm into it! Or you can just ask!)

[dignationisdominatrix]

💦

Send 💦 for a sexual fantasy my muse has had about yours.

demoting you from bossy glubbin heiress to brainless trollcow aint wearing a fin except for a latex hood an drooling through the mouth hole whenebber you think my bulge is around dribbling milk down outta your giant rumblespheres

no moor backtalk just 'mooooo'