#ryemblings

[localrye]

I'm the birthday boy today!!!

[localrye]

I saw Respire

[localrye]

Tagged by @stillforests, thank you!

My top 10 albums of all time:

Touché Amoré - Is Survived By

Good Luck - Into Lake Griffy

Respire - Black Line

Nana Grizol - Ursa Minor

Snag - Snag.

The Pogues - Rum, Sodomy & The Lash

Blackbird Raum - Destroying

Jungbluth - Part Ache

Lankum - Between the Earth and Sky

Ye Vagabonds - The Hare's Lament

tagging (only if you want!): @rogue-driv3r @quartzprinz, @kradljivac-kostiju, @les-derniers-jours, @speed-metal-punk, @forestovblasphemy, @lakegriffy

[localrye]

went to my first local gig (they started a few months ago), saw 1 and a half band till nazis raided us. They managed to destroy the door, break the window and throw large rocks inside bruising some people and destroying the floor and chairs before our guys chased them off. I was too far away to even realise what's happening initially. It was fucking wild, like I've heard about stuff like that happening in 2005 not 2025

[localrye]

We had a grove in front of my building. These trees were about 30-35 years old, I was growing up with them, used to play there when I was a little boy and often walked around them as an adult. My parents told me that when they moved here in 1990, it was empty, just an empty grass field. No birds, no other animals. And they watched the trees grow over the years with delight because they gave us so much. In the past years we had so many birds, we had roe deer, foxes, martens, so many insects. We had such a nice area to go for a short walk with your dog or on your own. Or just to chill amongst the trees. Today they cut down like 60% of these trees. Including my favourite ash tree that I loved to photograph because it looked so interesting compared to the birches behind it. It looked wonderful each season but especially in the autumn and winter when there was snow on the ground and its dark bark was giving a strong contrast to everything else around it. They also cut dozens of birches and aspens. They were healthy, young and still growing taller every year, making our area look so pretty. I was observing the buds growing on them past two weeks. I knew these trees so personally. Now everything looks so empty and depressing. Tall aspen corpses are lying on the grass. My favourite ash tree lying on the birches cut before it. I literally don't know how to go on about my day, it's all I can think about and I see it every time I look out the window.

I don't even know why they did it. I don't understand the reason. The mayor has been successively spending money on cutting the trees all around my town since her first term. And people apparently want the trees gone? A bunch of my senior neighbours from mine and the next building came up to the workers to ask them if they could cut out more because "they obstruct the view (on the mountains and fields) and are useless self-sown trees that got out of control". Because apparently only trees sown by humans in controlled areas have a right to live. I hope they all fucking suffer in the next heatwave, coz our grove won't be able to cool out the air in the area, there will be just burnt yellow grass and dead mice on the pavement. Hope they will enjoy the view.

[localrye]

Had a good week, I spent time with my best friend and saw Touché Amoré!! The gig was great, I was excited to see them again and I was standing right under the stage so I saw the band very well! At some point Jeremy noticed I'm recording and singing so he sang the verse at me and it was real nice, I got a good grade at concert lmao I also bought a gig poster as a birthday gift from my brother and his wife and I can't wait to put it up on my wall! I'm glad I was feeling okay mentally that day. I still feel upset after the Lankum concert in September coz my memory of it remained fuzzy coz of how bad I've felt back then. I'm glad this time it was good and I could actually experience the concert and feel present. I remember everything clearly! As usual tho, they barely played anything from Is Survived By while playing a lot from other albums; they're treating my special album so poorly on every tour, no justice for Is Survived By lmao

Next week is my birthday and I'm not doing anything special for it, since this concert was my birthday gift but if it won't be freezing cold I may go on an early spring walk. There are rumours of snowdrops in my area so I must investigate……

Also super good news - Respire is coming to Europe in May!!!! RESPIRE! They're one of my most important bands!!!! And I already got the ticket and I'm so happy I'm gonna see them live! Their music always makes me feel very emotional so I wonder how the live experience will feel! I really hope it can be one of the highlights of 2025 and that I won't have a depressive episode around that time!

[localrye]

For some reason I've been feeling lots of anxiety about posting on tumblr lately, idk I suspect it's coz I've stumbled upon many cynical mean people on this site in December and early January (not anyone I follow but people in my *circles*) and it just made me feel bad coz of my past with being bullied and I had to step away from it for a while. And also block some people lmao

But I'd like to come back in February, I care about my blog coz it's like my picture and music collecting journal and a safe space for me. This weekend I'm leaving for a week to visit my best friend and to see Touché Amoré (!!!), so I'll try to get back to more regular posting once I'm back home.

Unfortunately the nerves in my arm are doing bad again, it's been bad since November (though it never really got much better for the entire 2024) and it's not getting better. I started physiotherapy 1,5 week ago and idk if it'll be successful but the physio said I'll need to do the exercise set I got for at least a month to see if my arm improves so we'll see in March I guess. But obviously it makes me feel bad mentally too coz I can't really do much, I can't work, I can't play video games, can't play music, can't text-chat with friends, can't do shit only watch films and youtube and occasionally do something else being aware there will be *consequences* Using the mouse and the keyboard also makes my arm stiff and tired so reblogging on tumblr is also a bit difficult but I want to have at least that lmao

[localrye]

Ok I decided to write a personal (very predictable) music summary for my blog, focused on hardcore, screamo and adjacent music, since it's what I generally post on here. I usually do that in my journal but I guess it'd be nice to have it accessible here too for reference. (+ in my journal I do it for other music genres as well)

I'm not like. knowledgeable about music as much as all the punx I follow here, I can't explain why I'm drawn to certain sounds or talk about music in more technical way coz I don't make my own music nor play in any bands or know anyone who does irl and it's not the way in which I interact with music, I just listen to stuff and it either makes me feel something or inspires me or stimulates my brain in a specific way and I can't stop listening. So I just like what I like and don't know how to explain it yknow!

So The best band I saw live this year was Dauðyflin. Inside the venue there was a wobbly makeshift platform that you could climb and since I'm short and can't see much in the crowd and I can't mosh anyway, I climbed it and sat there and man. That was such a good experience!! Very good energy, loved observing the band members and I also always love observing moshpits so I could see it kind of from above and it looked insane. It was I think around 23 o clock but I was very energised, fucking love Dauðyflin, great performance. Got a cassette from them but unfortunately couldn't talk to any band member coz no one was at the table for a long time so I just left the money under the cassette pile lmao

Absolutely no one will be surprised that my fav album this year was Spiral In A Straight Line by Touché Amoré. I feel like I don't even have to explain, you all know I just love TA, Jeremy's lyrics always feel like anxiety, ocd and autism and is for me. But I also loved the debut EP by Pluto The Racer!!! Was very excited for my boys, got it on vinyl and really hope I get to see them live in 2025! They just sound so sunny and make me feel like skating or just being outside! And a song from this EP (Rails) joined my long-term fav songs, it's incredibly relatable for me. I also really loved the split between ONLY and Barabbas, du förtappade. ONLY's EP from 2022 is a release I regularly listen to, so I was very excited to hear something new from them and I've been waiting for this split since autumn last year! Listened to it so much on the trains this year, it will always feel comforting! Also loved the debut EP of State Power, I listen to their pop punk band and was very excited to find out they're also playing hardcore! And Full of Hell's Coagulated Bliss, I think it's my favourite album from FoH so far?? Listened to it on a loop for like 2 weeks straight, I was obsessed.

Honorary mentions: Headlights EP by Kid, Feral (been listening to it so much this month, I love it, makes me feel like standing on the mossy boulders in my local forests and looking at the snowy mountains! or like looking up in the sky when the thick snowflakes are falling down! or like Pleiades in Taurus constellation!) Hiraeth by Respire (Respire is one of the most important bands for me and even though Hiraeth didn't make me feel like Black Line did, I still found a lot of comfort in it) Arcos, b​ó​vedas, p​ó​rticos by Tenue Universal Tension by Wonderful World Pain Without Hope Of Healing by basque

my favourite tracks this year were Recisione by Put Pùrana and Mezzanine by Touché Amoré

my favourite physical release I got this year was Colisi​ó​n's S/T EP, the vinyl has such pretty colours and I love the cover art so I was very happy to find the insert with it inside!

ok guess that's that? I don't remember if I'm waiting for anything in particular in 2025 coz I generally forget about album releases till bands start to regularly release singles or talk about it all the time so no idea lmao

[localrye]

APPARENTLY WE HAVE A LOCAL HARDCORE COLLECTIVE SINCE FOUR MONTHS AND I HAD NO IDEA?!?!?!? Not in my town since I live in Upper Nowhereberg in the middle of the forest but in the county's capital 30 min away! And they've already had like 3 powerviolence shows?!?!?

[localrye]

I got tagged by @stillforests to choose four album covers with the same colour palette. I chose deep orange, teal and grey for myself. albums: Boneflower - Armour; Full Of Hell - Coagulated Bliss; Pillow Queens - Leave The Light On; Frail Body - Artificial Bouquet tagging: @rogue-driv3r @lakegriffy @sadboyporvida @simulation-swarms @kradljivac-kostiju (only if you want and do tag games, feel free to ignore)

[localrye]

It was very aromantic of me to be born one day before valentine's day

[localrye]

lads since 2 weeks I'm going through the worst nerve injury since a while and it fucking sucks. It will probably take some more time, won't be very active on here till it starts to feel normal again coz using the mouse hurts :/

[localrye]

IM BACK (ish) hopefully my hand (and whole arm) is better. Not back to normal yet (I expect that will take months) but better. I know it may regress again, but I'm trying extra hard to not overwork it in any way. I'm pretty paranoid about it actually lmao

[localrye]

None of ye are gonna believe this but I actually made a friend on a screamo gig this weekend. I never assumed it would happen to me as a very Anxious and Autistic™ person that is unable to talk to anyone, but he just came up to me and asked if I know the schedule and if I'm a member of one of the bands that were playing that night and we started chatting and then he was looking for me on each break to talk more and we even walked to the tram stop together!! And he said he totally can go with me for other hardcore gigs that will be happening in that town when I visit! I haven't made an irl friend since…. high school, I think. Aboslutely unbelievable.

[localrye]

LADS I'M BACK AGAIN! Kind of! My nerves are fucked again! c': (personal ramblings ahead)

I had a big three weeks since like mid-June till early July So first I went to this hardcore fest I mentioned last month, and it was fine, but I found that fests aren't really for me. I'm glad I went because now I know. I guess I may attend again but buy only one-day ticket in the future but idk if I'll want to honestly, maybe only if some band I really like would play. Guess the only fest I'm still interested in is K-Town but that'd be different coz I would be sleeping at my friend's house in a town nearby, so at least I'd get some *peace and quiet* far away from people and only come to the fest for the bands. But yea, it was kind of overwhelming and uncomfortable. Completely unlike venue gigs, which feel intimate and comfortable and make me feel very present and like I'm a part of this scene. Fest was just chaotic, and since there was no breaks in-between sets I feel like all bands blent into one, I literally don't feel like I made any memories beside discomfort. And also almost everyone was drunk, which of course was to be expected and I know that getting wasted is the point of fests for many people and it's fine, but just not a space for me and it definitely contributed to the discomfort; I'm really glad my friend who was there with me also doesn't drink alcohol. But I got cassettes and a vinyl from bands and distros so that's nice!!

Then after I came back, I only had 3 days before leaving again to visit my best friend to go to some Pride events, a Xiao & Speedway gig and a bonfire on which I was supposed to play mandolin. Pride was nice as usual, I think I looked pretty faggy at the main parade but I'm def getting some chained harness for the next year, I'm brave enough for that by now lmao But neither the gig or the bonfire happened!!! :/ The gig was cancelled like 3 hours before it was supposed to happen coz bands' plane was delayed. And bonfire didn't happen coz one person couldn't attend and I couldn't play mando coz my fucking...... nerve issues in the right arm came back...... But it was still great, I love my best friend, we had such a lovely time, love just spending time with them!! Heals my accumulated mental damage lmao

And since I came back I've been waiting for my nerves to heal, not doing much, which is very annoying coz I got only like, 3 months since the last time I couldn't use my hand. It's really difficult to accept new disabilities, especially when they're still pretty new and you don't know what you can and can't do yet. But I guess I know a bit better now. Definitely can't spend a few days in a row writing down the chords and playing an instrument, definitely can't do any strength-based activities like lifting heavy objects multiple times a day or doing push-ups and I definitely need a longer stick for my aro flag so I don't have to raise my hands at all!

Honestly I'm still pretty upset about the gig not happening coz like I said, the fest just blurred into one, so I feel like I haven't been at any actual show this summer! (and also I REALLY wanted to see Xiao) Thank fuck Frail Body plays here at the beginning of August coz I wouldn't go at any gig before October otherwise!! But it sucks to live in the middle of nowhere, having to travel 2 to 4 hours to see a gig, pay a lot of fucking money for the train tickets and having to always figure out the place to sleep coz no trains go back to my county from the cities past like, 19:30 lmao

But anyway, guess I can try to come back on tumblr again, I miss my blog!! My hand is still doing bad, it'll probably take at least one month till it's fine again. I hope only a month!

[localrye]

going away for a few days after a very intense week with no time spent with myself and my interests, feeling extremely drained mentally and all the fun autism stuff, and when I'm back I get just a few days before an anxiety-inducing Family Event™ Difficult times, wish me luck lads