#same with shadow mitsuo on both points-

[kumakuma-circus]

,,, lost to shadow teddie cuz his dialogue interrupted the attack pattern. 😔

[detectiveseapancake]

I'll talk a bit about my experiences playing P4G so far, though be warned that I haven't finished the game yet. Spoilers under the cut for up until early November. Mostly talk about Kanji, Yosuke and Naoto.

I started playing this game on very hard and while p5 and, especially, p3 were challenging, I got to the Shadow Mitsuo fight and changed the difficulty to normal because it was both an absolute pain in the ass and lacked any and all appeal to me.

Friends of course warned me that the game has a ton of issues with homophobia and transphobia, but this was insane. The ridiculous back and forth is just off-putting. I think I personally had less gripes with Kanji's whole arc than most people, though I still see a ton of issues with it.

I truly believe that the shadow selves are an incredibly overdrawn version of your worst fears and that, since they are represented in a fantastical world where anything is possible, they are put to the extreme by the way they can be visualised in. They show how you view your "worst" parts deep down as opposed to how others view you, so they're made visible to other people how the original self sees them. It's something private nobody other than yourself would usually be able to see.

The same applies to Kanji of course. However you view him he's at the very least gender non-conforming and into men, and his shadow self revolves around all those parts. Did they go completely over the top with this? Yes. Is it all without merit? No. Kanji truly wishes for his attractions and self-expression to be accepted by other people and for him to be able to fully embrace who he is.

There are many ways to be into masculine people and men. Where heteronormative ideals are applied to the relationship between two men or masc people, the stereotype of a gay relationship is that one of the two is overly masculine and the other is overly feminine to imitate the "woman" in the relationship. I don't need to point out how it matters exactly fuckall how people present and identify themselves and how bigots use this to make fun of and discriminate against us either way. There are also many people out there who like to present themselves in a more masc/fem way, and that's as valid as any other gay relationship.

However, I think it is also important to note that some people try to appeal to this stereotype in order to cope with internalised homophobia. I think Kanji's shadow self deals with many of these aspects. He tackles questions of sexuality in his teenage years, where many people begin to explore it in a healthy way, but he is ostracised by the people around him for it and additionally has no one like him to turn to. He has many interests that are traditionally seen as feminine, that he views as feminine too, and ultimately this just combines into this hot mess that is his shadow self.

Atlus absolutely made a Choice by presenting him this way - that's what I mean by saying there's a bunch of shit wrong with it but it isn't without merit. The worst part really is how everyone around him treats him for it, most notably Yosuke. I think with Yosuke, it really fucking sucks! Because Yosuke is very much into men too and in complete denial over it. (I don't need to mention how frustrated I am that they took out his confession last second.)

Of course someone like him would feel grossed out upon being confronted with Shadow Kanji, because it also confronts him with his own attractions that he has been taught to find disgusting! But instead of making a narrative about how he comes to terms with this or by giving him some proper backlash, Kanji is continuously treated as a joke and Yosuke is used as a main vehicle for this. I am still playing Kanji's SL as of now, but I really hope they will continue the route of him accepting himself further, even in the face of adversity.

Next, I of course have to talk about Naoto. Looking back, I remember how many times I've been told about him and how people would portray his arc in such a vastly different light to what it is in reality. I've seen people here on tumblr as well as former friends tell me about how his narrative is about a poor girl charading as a boy in order to escape misogyny in a largely male-dominated field. It was described to me in grand detail how his struggles are absolutely not that of a transmasc because his focus is so greatly on wanting to be a girl but being treated like absolute shit over it. Him supposedly embracing his female self is therefore painted as a great act of revolution and courage.

I am so glad I am older and wiser now, to be honest. I wonder how many other young transmascs without proper support or self-reflection have fallen for this stupid narrative- but that's a question that answers itself. The narrative of "poor girl who thinks she is a boy but was actually misled by by her own silly feelings and other queer people" is one of the most used anti trans male rethorics out there.

And where do I even start with this? The fact that Naoto surrounded himself with typically seen as boyish toys since he was little? Or that his ideal vision of himself was a male detective? "Oh, but there were no novels about female detectives he could read!" What an absolute joke. You know very well how many people make female self-inserts or original characters for stories long before they're acquainted with the concept of fanfic.

Naoto's story also very much tackles the issue of how mistreated many children are by adults on a casual basis. But I think long before he is "revealed to be a girl", this struggle is much more emphasised. The gap between children and adults is not only a metaphor, but it also serves as one. The clear difference is that someday soon he will be an adult, but him being mistreated for being trans is not something that will change as easily.

Another friend has said this to me and I fully agree with it, Naoto as a narrative about sexism against women instead of a narrative about transness is just wholly ineffective. The people who are making the most misogynist comments towards him are all part of the Investigations Squad, but never shown by the people who are in his field of work.

I think the most baffling part really was how from the very beginning in his dungeon, the "Procedure" is the supposed threat against Naoto here. But this procedure is never once talked about. So his shadow self looks completely the same as his real self as opposed to looking more feminine (I mean, they even made a point of saying Rise's chest was far bigger in the shadow world as compared to her real self, so that clearly wasn't the obstacle here.) Shadow Naoto showcases Naoto's greatest fears and desires, and what does Shadow Naoto want? The "procedure." As comically as it is represented here, what else would it mean that gender-affirming surgery?

The real Naoto describes in great detail how he always admired male detectives, how that was his ideal vision of himself, but then he got hindered and ostracised by the adults in the work force. Shadow Naoto points out how cool of a name "Naoto" is, as opposed to cute! And I can't fucking believe the audacity- Yukiko asks him if he doesn't want to be a girl and if he wants to be a boy, if that's why he is dressing and behaving like this, and he nods! His damn! Head! Only for Yukiko, two sentences later, to say "Oh but you already know you don't truly want to be a guy, you want to be a girl" and then Naoto nods again.

The direct clash between these two statements compared to everything else about Naoto's character makes it so blatantly obvious. Atlus pointed a finger and went, look! This character wants to be a boy and behaves like a boy! He needs to be fixed, and we'll show you how.

Finally, after struggling so hard with the stupid Shadow Mitsuo boss I might have actually dropped the game or at least taken a break of many months if I hadn't turned down the difficulty. Sure, I could have kept grinding to make it work, but for me personally there was nothing interesting about Mitsuo. His dungeon and the boss sucked absolute ass with no fun to be had. It was a waste of my living hours and I regret even having tried. But I know better now.

I think the biggest reason I continued playing was because my friends said it's good/worth it and because Nanako. I think Nanako was the bigger one. I love Nanako so much and I would die for her. Doujima is fucking lucky that Nanako loves him otherwise I would have already killed him in a cold, bloody, autistic rage.

[shadowtarot]

Wild Card Theory: Forced Awakenings and The Toll

I think a lot about Yu Narukami. Being the only Protag in Persona to not gain his Persona via the same method as his friends, it makes him stand out among Nagoya, Tatsuya, Minato and Ren. And like with my Ryuji post before, PQ2 has given me something to go off of that may help hold water to a theory I’ve had for a long while.

Izanagi is slowly killing Yu until he accepts his own faults.

Now you might read that and think “Wait how the hell does that work? Yu’s able to use Izanagi with no problems no matter the game he’s in. How can Izanagi be killing him?” Well to answer that we need to look at a few things made Canon by Persona 4 the Animation, namely, Yu facing his own shadow in the fight against Margret when he was sucked up in Izanami’s fog.

It’s a big point of Character development for Yu as a character, the second of two with the first being the Mitsuo fight which got echos in P3. But this the first time, at that stage, that Yu’s shadow was ever shown. But when you fight him in Arena and Ultimax? One of his entrances takes on the appearance of the TV Yus seen in the anime. And in a few endings, Yu much like Yosuke, avoids talking about his shadow. 

All this is to establish that, Yu did face his shadow in the end. But it was through a lot of struggle that it even came into being. 

Because Yu was quietly fighting against his own other self just to be able to save and protect his friends. Not out of care, but out of desperation. He had no friends until they came, and the Mitsuo and Fog Inaba moments both show how clingy and needy Yu is when it comes to his friends. 

Which is exactly what his Shadow points out during the Margret fight.To paraphrase his speech: “I didn’t care if is was some illusion created by the fog! I just don’t want to be alone again!”

But this happens so late in the Journey, that one has to wonder...what was Yu going through prior?

Well, Yu tries to not worry his friends a lot right? He keeps their happiness at the forefront, caring about his own well being second. Every spin-off, Managa and the Animes have shown that Yu isn’t very open at expressing his own feelings out of fear of bringing down the group’s morale. Which means he can’t show weakness. Ever. 

A huge example is when Nanako ‘dies’ in Persona 4 the Animation. Of course he’s hurting, given how close the two of them were. And he almost snapped prior when trying to kill Namatame, only to spare his life in the end out of his own morality. Yu tells his teamates to head on home, saying he’ll be fine. Only to wait until they all leave to start crying.

So taking that into account, Yu could have been very well hiding how much pain he was in from just having Izanagi prematurely. 

“But what about Adachi? He got his prematurely too!” Well in his case, he came to accept how he views himself and the world as truth. Sure it’s not in a good guy way, but he still acknowledged it. Magestu Izanagi never shows any signs of rebellion against it’s user and Adachi never seems to be in pain.

Which brings me into how PQ2 fits into all of this. After fighting all of the attendants, you’re given access to gain everyone’s ultimate Persona just like in PQ. But the cutscene that shows this, gives us something that seems harmless at first but...is actually important.

At first, this seems nothing more then one Wild Card showing a reaction to a change within their soul. But here’s the deal: True Awakenings are never painful. Not even for Wild Cards.

To add onto that, Minato and Hamuko don’t show any sort of pain afterwords, but Yu doesn’t talk at all for the rest of the event. 

Reason being? He evolved his Persona without even acknowledging his Shadow.

Yu is as much of an Artificial Persona user as Strega is. With the only thing keeping Izanagi/Izanagi-no-Okami in check is his Power of the Wild Card and the other Personas it grants him. 

And what if Yu does the Accomplice Ending? Going that route he’d never face his Shadow. So Izanagi would be able to keep harming Yu in small bites at a time, with Yu having no indicator that he needs to face himself. 

But..perhaps he is aware he needs to for most of his Journey. But the one thing holding him back, is fear. Fear of what he’d hear. Fear of the words coming from his own voice. 

And fear of his friends hearing it all.

Would they still look up to him? Would they still be his friends? These are the very things that his shadow brings up.

So by facing it alone, only then is he able to take a handle on Izanagi. Lest one day, Izanagi may come for his own head. 

[obeysword]

more thoughts on yu & adachi’s relationship. going off the game for this one because i think there’s just A LOT that yu questions in regards to this guy.

yu considered adachi a good friend, a trusted comrade. sure he saw him as lazy, single-minded, a slacker. but still thought he was a decent person underneath his sloth-nature. by the time yu even met adachi, he’d already assaulted & killed two women. their bodies were strung up in what looks to an onlooker examining the crime-scene, to be an act of humiliation, even though this is just what happens if you die in the other world. & he pushed those two women into the tv world because they refused to sleep with him. mayumi yamano was what lead him to realize his powers, which he later used again on saki konishi in the same fashion because he tried to abuse his position of power & tried get her to sleep with him. he took both of these rejections personally, a very: if you won’t have me, then no one will have you. i think in the beginning, it was spite that fueled adachi to kill saki konishi & mayumi yamano. he admits he had ‘a little crush’ on mayumi yamano & her refusal along with the scandal, pushed him off the deep end. meanwhile messing with namatame was fun for him & a game that was taken too far. golden!adachi has a lot of layers beyond selfishness which makes him an amazingly written villain, espiscally in the anime, & not a one-note like how video games & media can present them. he has humanity, despite monstrous sides too.

yu offered to make adachi dinner, cooked for him twice. maybe out of pity, maybe he saw adachi as lonely, pathetic, & how being in a tiny town like inaba wasn’t what he had hoped. he got demoted out into the sticks & really sees this as a form of punishment because he was so intelligent & pushed to the top of his academy in school. but there’s just nothing out here & his income is horrible. as the confidant goes on, yu does have some sympathy for him. maybe because he wanted to get closer to adachi because adachi was always around dojima, adachi also had loose-lips & shared a lot of information regarding the case that the IT couldn’t have known without him. & maybe yu thought he should be his friend too since they’d be seeing each other often in this case. either way, he genuinely wanted to be his friend. for whatever reason, he did.

because of adachi’s humanity, this makes it complicated for yu’s feelings toward him. he wants to believe adachi can be redeemed, that it wasn’t all an atrocious lie concocted out of boredom or out of loneliness. did he mean everything he said in the other world? was he just so drunk off power & desperation because the gang found out, had his back against the wall with no escape, that he was finally at the end of his rope in all this? did he really see the world as so pathetic that a world encased in shadow was a better option? for almost a year, he’d played all of them until his slip confirmed their suspicions.

when he’s confronted, he runs. scrambling to make excuses & even says he forgot to send the letter yu received over to the lab. classic adachi, he’s always misplacing things & he’s done this time & again to dojima. but they’re not falling for it this time.

adachi tried to kill himself with his own gun until yu stopped him. he even says yu should kill him now that he found out the truth, but he isn’t going to get out of this that easily. yu really questions what was truth & what was lie for adachi’s character. he said he didn’t think adachi was capable of firing his gun so he just keeps taunting him with it. but he was scared of adachi in that moment, brought down to his knees while a man he thought he’d known got sick satisfaction as he & his friends fended for their lives. even if adachi wouldn’t fire & kill him, it’s still terrifying to have a gun pointed at your forehead & by a guy whose sanity isn’t in check anymore. yukiko says he’s just a child throwing a tantrum, & given adachi’s repressed & stunted emotional growth, it really is a fitting metaphor.

adachi sent yu letters as threats that he would hurt someone close to him if the IT didn’t stop saving people. was this a part of the game? was he really going to hurt someone? was he just prompting them? was this because he knew namatame was going after another now that nanako had been on the tv? was it to rile them up? frame namatame more? yu has so many questions & a lot of anger because nanako had to die. she came back, but it doesn’t erase the pain, the emptiness, the agony he & dojima felt. dojima admitted he would be dead after his wife if he didn’t have nanako to live for. yu will never forget he said that. namatame was the one who took her into that world, but only through adachi’s manipulation saying he needs to be the one to save people because the police won’t believe him. he started namatame’s path to saviorism. did adachi care at all about any of them? did he care what happened to nanako? yu didn’t see him cry when everyone else was broken in that hospital room. when did he get so lonely & depressed, that eventually his sanity started to slip. does he really regret any of what he did? or does he just regret it because they discovered he was the one behind everything? - this is what yu asks himself.

adachi, with mayumi yamano, didn’t seem to realize what happened to the people he killed in the tv world. he didn’t think there would be a body to appear. but hers & saki’s did. it’s another reason why king moron’s body doesn’t fit with the other two. the other two were connected to a form of electrical technology, phone pole & tv antennae. king moron was found upside down on a water tower. adachi even shoved mitsuo inside the tv when mitsuo confessed to everything.

as much as yu would want to trust adachi again, so much of that perception he had of adachi is shattered. adachi is so pathetic yet he still manages to bring yu anxiety & anger because of how monstrous his insides were. working or being around him again would lead to such distrust because adachi is now an unpredictable character. yu can’t not hold him responsable. it’s icy, shaky ground.

i think, for a good while, because of adachi’s lies, yu really starts to question how many people are his friend? how many people close to him could be like that & are just waiting to hurt someone for entertainment because their lives feel so pathetic. how many people are willing to abuse & manipulate others just because they’re in a place of power & how many people that he trusts could murder someone or admit something like: i only ever wanted to be a police officer so i could carry a gun. he made a lot of attachments in inaba, more than he ever had anywhere else in his whole life. i’m not sure yu had trust issues before this. if he did, they weren’t very high. because he never got close to people or wanted to be close to others. there was no way to hurt him & ruin his expectations if he didn’t set himself up for potential disappointment. again, he really wants to believe adachi can redeem himself, doesn’t want to think their friendship was a total fabrication as apart of his game. adachi even fooled dojima, though, & he was with him like all the time as his errand boy & partner.

[doktorpeace]

I think I’m close enough to the ending to make my definitive P3 and P4 comparison post. I’ll do it quite simply, I’ll list one game’s Pros and Cons and then the other’s. Each subject will get a little bit of discussion but I don’t want this to be a thesis paper so. It’s still going to be long though. Needless to say this will contain relatively heavy spoilers from both games.

P3: Pros -  Stronger party members and inter-party dynamics. SEES is much more well fleshed out than The Investigation Team even despite that over half of them do not have Social Links. The characters all living in one dorm together means there’s a lot more opportunity to see them and also to see them interact with each other. P3P furthers this gap by adding social links for the boys. In P4 the party members dynamics with each other don’t change that much over the course of the game, where the cast of P3 has their relationships change around you regardless of your decisions. The game also has a lot of cutscenes showing their interactions without you, and that’s something P4 sorely misses, everything in P4 has to have Yu in the shot and it’s gets in the way of that. A stronger story. The story of P3 has much better pacing because it spends mandatory time developing your party members and there’s a consistent build of tension even within each month as a Full Moon approaches. This then works into the overarcing story of tension building higher and higher as you defeat more and more of the 12 Full Moon Shadows. Because of this it builds at a very good and reasonable pace.  P3′s story also goes right for the gut in terms of emotional impact, it doesn’t pull its punches and you’re going to be sad. While this may not be positive for everyone it certainly leaves a stronger impact. More consistent difficulty scaling. The game challenges you with bosses at a regular rate throughout Tartarus to ensure you’re ready for the next story boss. That said sometimes they’re overzealous in doing this, a few times I found the Tartarus midbosses to be more difficult than the actual Full Moon Shadows. Better critical hit animations and more dynamic Persona Summoning animations. While the latter is more subjective P3′s critical hits pack more of a punch, they feel weighty, it’s good. While a couple are oddly long (Mitsuru, Junpei) it’s not bad enough to take away from it. Character portraits are more dynamic, they are in multiple poses that suit the emotion they’re conveying. While each character has a standard ‘pose’ where their expression simply changes having their ‘pose’ change as well helps a lot in keeping them feel alive and and engaged. A more consistent commitment to the game’s themes and style. The soundtrack and mood of each scene work together much better and the game generally avoids mood whiplash problems. This even extends to the game’s core colors and UI design, overall a very sleek looking game. With how severe the game’s central story themes are this is a huge plus imo. Neutral -  A higher difficulty. P3 is harder than P4 without question especially early on. This can be a good or a bad thing depending on who you ask. All of the side quests are obtained from Elizabeth. From a gameplay perspective I find this superior since I actually did all of the sidequests in P3 simply because they were easy to access and commit to. Tatsumi Port Island is bigger than Inaba. In some ways this is nice since there’s more places to look around, but if you have a poor memory or sense of direction this could be a negative. A tighter schedule. The game only has something like 6 spare days on a fresh file if you want to complete every social link. That’s unforgiving to a ridiculous degree. Cons -  Easier to abuse mechanics. Fusion Spells are broken, being able to directly buff your Persona’s stats is also broken especially when in the last 3-4 months there’s nothing better to do with your evenings. Having your SP fully restored when returning to Tartarus’ ground floor is super abusable especially once Fuuka learns Escape Route. The last 50-60 floors or so of Tartarus I breezed through by spamming Thunder Call and retreating back to the entrance anytime I happened to get low on SP. Makoto is not very compelling as a protagonist compared to Yu, he’s needlessly perfect and while this comes up in game as a source of jealousy for other characters it really doesn’t mesh with how Makoto is allegedly a cowardly dumbass with no game when you start. Makoto’s dialogue options tend to be very neutral or negative to his conversation partner as well, so it’s often very obvious which dialogue option is correct, which is to say whichever dialogue option isn’t those things usually. If you don’t like stories with Messianic main characters on principle you’ll also not like Makoto. Some blocks of Tartarus are a fucking eyesore dude. Block 5 in particular is horrible. Some of the social links really suck. Like, really bad. Moon and Magician in particular fucking suck dude. Also you can’t complete all the social links without cheating on 5 girls and the game in no way punishes you for it. That’s fucked up dude. Some of the shadows are fucking ridiculous. They’re immune to everything except one damage type or they’re just flat out immune to everything except Megido skills. It’s bullshit sometimes. Not often enough to be a huge hassle since running away in this game is easy, but it sucks dude. P4: Pros -  Better social sim elements. More interactions require you to have a certain level of a social stat and more interactions raise your social stats as well. It’s a good change. Your social stats also progress at a more reasonable pace. It’s a very good change overall. Better social links. 4′s social links are more involved, requiring more social skill checks to take the best dialogue options while generally being longer and more deeply exploring the characters in question. It’s great how memorable and interesting each one is. They really hammered out this system a lot better and you meet a lot of people from a lot of walks of life, it’s great. Additionally party member’s social links get them more involved in combat which assists with reducing the RNG factor RPGs can have. After just a couple levels they’ll take one mortal blow for the protagonist in a fight, though this won’t affect spread moves so it doesn’t negate difficulty. Mostly it just saves you from random crits or from a Hamaon or Mudoon that decided it wanted to fuck your day. You have more to actually do with your evenings. In P3 only two social links took place at night and in P4 there’s 4 that do. You can also do several social stat raising activities, but you can’t grind out your persona’s stats. It’s good. Varied dungeon designs and more consistent internal difficulty with each one. Each dungeon has a unique theme which directly pertains to who you’re rescuing and what difficulty they’re facing and they’re all 8-12 floors long. This is a great change because it lets the developers really know the pace the player is going to generally have getting through it and it helps build some player tension for what each boss could be like. Each one also has 1-2 minibosses before the main boss, which helps the player gauge if they’re a the right strength for the next major Shadow Boss. They also made use of 2-3 set design floors for every dungeon, this allowed them to include minor puzzle elements in each one ranging from pretty good (Naoto, Adachi) to Really Annoying (Mitsuo). P4 is less difficult but a much more consistent experience. P4 has a way stronger supporting cast. There’s not characters like Jin who just kind of exist but never have any part of their character explored. Dojima, Adachi, Namatame, Nanako and others are very well fleshed out. Where of P3′s side cast Elizabeth really steals the show (not that I mind too much cause she’s such a good character) P4′s are all well developed and I like them a lot. It helps that several of them are social links I guess but still, P4′s side cast is way better than P3′s. Yu is a more fleshed out protagonist, thanks in no small part to being in future content, but even aside from that he’s a better character just in the game itself. His dialogue options are much more varied and good partially because of the higher involvement of the social stats. You can directly control your party members holy SHIT this alone is such a huge boon to gameplay. P3′s companions have good AI mostly but god is it annoying when they elect to just kill one thing they knocked down instead of knocking down all the enemies. The plot is really well set up overall. The twists all make sense but are very hard to foresee. I like the game’s story a lot it’s just mostly held back by its pacing and hands off nature in terms of developing the Investigation Team. Nothing feels like it came out of nowhere or doesn’t make sense, which is very good for a murder mystery. Neutral -  The Fusion Forecast is a neat, but largely unimportant as an addition to the game. Sometimes it lets you make stupid bullshit though and that’s cool. The side quests are obtained from a variety of NPCs at varying points in the game. This helps the setting feel more alive and breathes some life into Inaba and from a worldbuilding perspective I like this better. That said I only did about a quarter of the sidequests in P4 in my second run and only like 3/4 in my first one and I think that speaks for itself. Cons -  The main cast is weaker generally, but by no means bad except Yosuke. Yosuke and Teddie in particularly are very weak characters after the first third of the game is complete. There’s not much to say on it that hasn’t been said on this blog already though. Sucks that Yosuke starts off pretty good and has a pretty good social link but then just goes to shit and stays that way in the spinoffs. The story’s pacing is kinda janky. It isn’t bad by any stretch, but it is about 3/4 of the game doing the same thing then it suddenly escalating and escalating and escalating all at once near the end. It builds tension certainly but not as well. Also any given story encounter is relatively easily solved all in one day, which makes the pacing feel weaker since then you spend 2-4 in game weeks just going through the motions of doing social links and raising your social stats. Party member’s Personas advancing via social link rather than through the story is lame. It basically forced them to shove all of their actual growth off to the side. While most of them have really really good social links that advance their character meaningfully this cannot be reflected in the story at all, which is a huge negative. It also means nothing of major importance can happen to any of them that would cause their persona to develop naturally either. A couple party member’s social links really double back on the advancement they had from confronting their Shadows. While Rise and Yukiko have very good social links they ultimately just end up back on square one, just with a new lens to view the world through. It’s kinda cool but makes the cast feel more stagnant than it needs to. The Biggest Con of them All is that they chickened out of making Naoto a trans guy. Genuinely and honestly the worst fuck up the game makes is this. Cutting Yosuke’s gay romance (WHICH IS STILL IN THE GAME AND FULLY VOICED IN ENGLISH) is also lame as shit but I can deal without that. Seriously though they set Naoto up to be trans so well and genuinely look at some trans themes but even though Kanji’s shadow is about Attraction To Dudes and Yukiko’s is about lamenting her life being out of her hands because of her genealogy and Teddie’s is about emptiness and not knowing what you really are and Rise’s is about owning your own image and ALL OF THOSE are genuine and really part of them I guess the parts where Naoto’s shadow explicitly talks about wanting to surgically transition and to be a man are the exception, huh Atlus. In Persona 4 Arena+Ultimax and Persona Q they take small steps towards making Naoto still questioning and leaning towards wanting to transition than they are at the end of their (otherwise good) social link. But i’m just waiting for a like, 25 year old Naoto to show up in Persona 5 Arena or Persona 6 or whatever and to just be a guy. And also dating Kanji but that’s neither here nor there. In Closing: I like P3 better but mostly for the writing and main characters. As a gameplay experience P4 is better by a wide margin.

[shadowtarot]

Hidden Pain: A Persona 4 Drabble

Read this for context. 

Junes Food Court, mid-day, Sunday. The Investigation Team had called for a day of training before the next possible event could happen. But so far only Kanji, Yosuke, Teddie and Yu were at their normal meeting spot.

Yosuke drapes his arms onto the table as he sinks his face into them slowly. “What’s taking the girls so long? We only have a few hours until that huge sale hits, and when it does it’ll be near impossible for us to slip into the TV...”

“They’re getting medical supplies, man. Yu-senpai mentioned we were low.” Kanji closes his phone as he stashes it away in his pocket before glancing at his leader who’s using this downtime to fold a few origami cranes.

“I said I was going to grab them on my way here, but I had to help Nanako with something and ran out of time...” Yu states, not even glancing up from his work as he sets the crane down on the table.

“Well I know you can’t refuse anything when it comes to Nanako-chan, so I get it.” Yosuke nods. “Also how many of those do you plan to make?!”

“Sensei’s got some real skill with that!” Teddie states, his bright blue eyes watching closely as Yu begins another one.

“That just made wonder something, hey Kanji are you able to do origami as well?” Yosuke glances over at the younger teen.

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s easy enough once you figure it all out, but it’s not really my niche if you catch my drift.” Kanji shrugs. “It’s right up his alley though.”

“It’s relaxing...” Yu smiles a bit.

But as he’s beginning the first few folds, Yu suddenly jolts, enough for the paper in his hands to tear. 

“Yu?! Everything alright?” Yosuke gets up from his seat and walks to his best friend’s side.

Yu is wincing slightly, setting down the paper before looking up at his three friends. “Yeah, I think an old injury from the TV just popped up suddenly is all.”

“Really? Lemme know where it is when we get into the TV and I’ll heal it up for you. Could have sworn Yukiko took care of all the major ones last week....” Yosuke mutters.

“If Yosuke’s heals don’t do that much, I’ll help!” Teddie beats his chest once, smiling.

Yu chuckles, nodding. “Thanks you guys, but I think I’ll be fine. If it gets too bad, I’ll just heal myself.”

Yosuke focuses his gaze slightly before letting out a sigh. “If you say so...but don’t get too shocked if the girls start freaking out and try to heal you themselves.”

“heeeey! Sorry we’re late!” Chie calls out, waving her arm as she and the other girls walk up.

“Apolgies, but there was an issue with the cash register at the store where we normally get our medicine from.” Naoto explains, placing a hand in her pocket. “I hope we didn’t keep you four waiting too long.”

Rise starts counting the cranes Yu made before shrugging. “Seems he made twelve before we showed up. So they weren’t waiting that long.”

“Pffft, you can tell how bored they were by the amount of cranes? What if...we told time that way? ahahaha!” And there goes Yukiko on one of her laughing fits again.

“Geez, well if everyone’s ready we better hurry up and get in. Two more hours until the electronics sale starts. Plan to be in there for a few hours guys, we have to wait out the traffic.” Yosuke looks to everyone in the group.

“Let’s get going.” Yu puts all of his cranes away in a cloth bag before patting his hidden Katana with a small smirk.

Slipping through the currently average sized crowds, the group makes it to the TV they always use. Everyone puts their glasses on and slips into the TV World undetected.

Teddie slips into his bear suit, which he had left right at the hub area before looking at everyone present. “Alright! So who’s dungeon are gonna train in today Sensei?” 

“Well, I was actually thinking we might want to try tackling that Reaper you mentioned before. So it really doesn’t matter what area we go into right?”

“Are you serious Senpai?!” Rise stomps on her right foot hard on the ground. “You guys almost got killed by a Reaper back in Mitsuo’s! I’m not going to sit back and watch you guys actively hunt something that strong!”

“....it was a joke.” Yu rubs the back of his neck.

“Dude...your sense of humor needs some serious work.” Yosuke shakes his head. “Well if I could offer something, you guys know those Treasure Hands we keep running into? What if we went after those?”

“Oooh! We can make it a competition!” Chie raises her hand and bounces a bit as she speaks. “First one to kill ten of them gets...uhh...”

“First ten gets to have the others cook for them!” Yukiko smiles.

Yosuke and Yu wince. “H-How’s about first to ten gets to request something from the losers...that isn’t cooked.”

Yosuke nods. “What Yu said.”

Rise nods, writing that down. “If you all are each hunting ten then that’s going to be a lot of gold hands to hunt for.”

“They’re good money makers though, so no matter who wins we’ll all benefit in the end right?” Kanji crosses his arms. “Why don’t we do it in Yukiko-sempai’s Castle? It’s a small enough place that we won’t loose each other.”

“Sounds good, let’s move out guys!” Yu leads the way to the castle.

“Treasure hands spotted! Wow...for rare shadows there sure are a lot of them right now!”

“Let’s do this! I’m not passing up a chance for a request!” Yosuke smirks, dashing at a treasure hand.

“...for our sakes let’s hope Yu at least wins...” Chie sighs as she goes after one as well.

Everyone begins fighting the hand hoard, but Yu keeps switching Persona as he fights.

“Black Frost!” Ice shatters and destroys a treasure hand with retaliative ease. 

“That’s one for Senpai!”

“Perhaps we should bump the number up to twenty?” Naoto suggests. “Yu-senpai is having far too easy of a time right now.”

“Yeah, because he’s got more of an arsenal of Persona compared to us.” Kanji launches a treasure hand with a hard strike from his chair. “Just means we gotta work harder to keep up, yeah?”

“I’m with Kanji! No way I’m gonna lose to Sensei! KENTOKI-DOJI!”

Yosuke laughs. “Hell no, I’m not letting you take that one Ted! Jiryaya!” 

Both Persona charge at the one Treasure hand, closing in before...

“Konahana-Sakuya!” 

The hand bursts into flames as Yukiko cockily fans herself. “Oh I’m sorry, did you boys want that one?”

“One point for Yukiko-senpai!”

“ARGH! I’m not coming in last place here!” Yosuke goes after another one with increasecd speed, not wanting to be one upped again.

“If you’re getting serious then maybe I should too...Partner.” Yu adjusts his glasses. “IZANAGI!”

Yu runs right up beside Yosuke, using his Persona’s lightning to keep pace. The two smirk at eachother.

“This one’s mine, no doubt.” Yu gives Yosuke a small laugh as they rush at the shadow.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Yosuke has Jiryaya attack the shadow, and Izanagi does the exact same...but then...

Yu falls to the ground on one knee, coughing badly as Izanagi vanishes back into it’s tarot card. Everyone stops what they’re doing to look at their leader. 

“Yu?” Yosuke kneels down beside him. “Dude, you don’t look so hot...”

“I’m fine...really.” Yu starts to get up, but Kanji places a hand on his shoulder.

“Like hell you are. You had that sharp ass pain before the girl’s showed up and now you’re coughing this badly? Stop trying to act cool with this kinda shit going on, man!”

Rise does a scan on Yu, focusing intensely. Yu starts coughing again, this time blood coming up as he does so. 

“I can’t see any sort of spell on him...” Rise sighs, shaking her head.

“And my nose can’t sniff out anything abnormal either...” Teddie looks worried.

“Guys really, I’m okay...” Yu pushes Kanji’s hand away from his shoulder. “Let’s just go back to-”

“I’m sorry Senpai but I have to respectfully refuse.” Naoto states, arms folded. “It’s quite clear you’re not in the right condition to fight, despite your claims. Coughing up blood like you just did is not a sign of a healthy individual.”

“Yu...if something is going on, you know you can tell us right?” Chie pouts a bit as she speaks. “We’re your friends after all.”

“...I’d tell you...if I fully understood it myself...” Yu mutters a bit. “I’m going to hang around here a bit longer before heading back. That sale is still going on, so leaving now wouldn’t be wise anyway.”

Yosuke sighs, nodding. “Yu has a point. Well...we’ll all hang out around the hub. Ted’ll get you once the coast is clear.” 

The others walk off, giving Yu some space. He holds his chest tight, as blue static seems to shock him before subsiding. 

“It’s gotten worse...as he’s gotten stronger. I don’t know...how much longer I can hold out like this...but if I try to do what they did...will they even..NGH!” The static starts up again, but Yu sinks his katana into the ground as he closes his eyes...and the surge comes to a halt. “No...I refuse to lose the one thing tying me with them...not now...not ever.”

Yosuke watches from a safe distance away, seeing just how much pain his best friend is in. He may not fully understand what’s going on but...

“Maybe he’s just as scared of accepting a part of himself....like me.” Yosuke shakes his head. “I’ll stay by your side as long as I can. And maybe one day...we can all help you face yourself...like you have for us.”