#san reactions

[seonghwaddict]

one more minute — choi san

in which you indulge in some midnight snacks and kisses in the kitchen.

bf!choi san x fem!reader. genre. established relationship. fluff. warnings. a little, tiny make out sesh but nothing else. wc. 0.6k.

lilo's notes. i’m a little sick so updates on both the event and nsn will be a bit slow. but anyways, here’s a little san drabble i wrote at 3 am :>

listening to. rises the moon, liana flores.

masterlist.

your eyes fluttered open to be met with darkness, the first thing you noticed was the arm draped around your waist. turning your head to look behind you, you caught sight of your dear boyfriend, san, sleeping soundly, his face lit by the dim moonlight seeping in through the gaps in the curtains.

silent snores left his mouth and you smiled, wondering how on earth you were lucky enough to call this perfect man yours. but the silent moment of admiring him was ruined when your stomach grumbled quietly, reminding you what you woke up for. after taking one last look at san and pressing a light kiss to his forehead, you wiggled yourself out of his grip without waking him up and walked down to the kitchen for some food.

you grabbed a paper plate and put a slice of pizza from the night before on it, placing it in the microwave. then you grabbed a mug, filled it with water and set it next to the paper plate before closing the microwave's door, pressing some buttons and starting it up.

a familiar arm wrapped around your waist from the back as san’s other arm brushed your hair away from your neck, nuzzling his face into it as he dropped the hand to wrap it around your waist as well. he placed gentle pecks on your neck and shoulder, nudging the fabric of your neckline to the side to access as much of your soft skin as possible.

you chuckled and turned your face to the side, your eyes meeting his soft brown ones. without averting your eyes, you turned in his grip and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug. he smelled faintly of peppermint and the shampoo you keep in your bathroom.

you pulled away from each other and he moved his fingertips under your shirt, his knuckles brushing against your sides. his touch sent sparks and goosebumps travelling through your whole body, a feeling you were well acquainted with.

“i love you," he whispered, lips brushing against yours.

you smiled, muttering a heartfelt, "i love you, too."

he leaned his face in and your lips connected in a kiss, moving in a slow and synchronised rhythm, lips slotting together like perfect puzzle pieces. instinctively, your hands travelled up and tangled themselves in his already messy chestnut locks of hair. his grip on your waist tightened, trying to close every remaining millimetre of space between your bodies.

he bit down on your bottom lip, his hands simultaneously gliding up and down your waist, fingertips brushing just beneath your breasts before dropping to your hips and squeezing twice. knowing what that meant with him, you jumped up and warped your legs around his torso, his firm hands supporting you under your thighs. as if you had done this multiple times before—which you have—he turned and set you on the empty counter behind him, standing between your legs.

you continued, your kisses turning desperate and bruising. but before he could take it any further, the microwave's timer rang and you pulled away with a mischievous smile and flushed cheeks. your boyfriend groaned as you inched your way around him and got off the counter to grab your food.

"baby," he whined, drawing out the last syllable, "just… one more minute?"

"i don't want my food to get cold," you laughed and took a bite of the pizza, a playful pout on your lips. "you’re very needy when you're tired."

"at least give me some of the pizza?"

you considered it for a moment before turning and walking to the living room with a broad grin. "i’m not your mom, you can get it yourself, love," you called over her shoulder, resisting the urge to giggly at his dumbfounded expression.

networks. @cromernet @blankjournal

taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu

[atinycafe]

San traces gentle patterns on the exposed part of your waist, his gaze fixed on the subtle shift of your breathing. With your back turned to him, he can't see your face, but he's certain you're fast asleep. If you were awake, he wouldn't dare to touch you. Arranged marriages aren't uncommon, especially among royal families. They serve to solidify bonds, bringing prosperity and peace to kingdoms, but not necessarily to the individuals involved - the groom and the bride.

It wouldn't be truthful to say that you two love each other or even that you are friends. Even after two years of marriage, your professionalism remains the primary barrier. Since childhood, you've been immersed in rigorous studies to prepare for your role as the empress of the nation. Your life was predetermined long before you were born. Hence, San comprehends completely why you maintain such a cold demeanor toward him.

But, he can't help but yearn for you. His thoughts constantly gravitate toward you, in a way that should be ordinary for a husband but not in your circumstances. He shouldn't love you, but you're making it incredibly difficult for him. Your conduct with those around you, the way you carry yourself, and the genuine kindness you extend, even to those beneath your station, it all makes it harder for him. He sees how you pay attention to your advisors during crucial meetings, noticing the subtle furrowing of your brows when issues with the crops or markets are brought up. Your effortless thoughtfulness is simply captivating; how could he not fall for you?

San places a quivering hand on your hair, toying with a curl between his fingers. He leans in to plant a tender kiss on it, but as you stir slightly, he withdraws his hand abruptly, pretending to be asleep, shutting his eyes tight.

You turn, still in your slumber, but San doesn't open his eyes. He knows you'll wake soon, as the sun begins to filter through the balcony, altering the hues of the sky. You emit a soft murmur, and San senses your eyes opening as you let out a gentle gasp. He feels you shift away slightly, understandable since your noses were nearly touching. San remains motionless, his eyes closed, his breath held.

He remains that way for several minutes until he feels you sit up on the bed. You sigh and stay put. San softly opens his eyes, stealing a glance at your profile. Your gaze is fixed on the horizon, the soft morning light accentuating the curve of your cheek.

"I need to get pregnant," you murmur softly, a tender hand caressing your belly, your eyes glazing over, lost in thought as usual.

"What?" San blurts out, rising to his knees, his eyes wide. "What did you just say?"

You turn to him, embarrassment flushing your face. You open your mouth, then close it, resembling a fish caught off guard. You didn't expect him to be awake this early. "No—I—I just—"

"I'll give you a son," he interrupts, his voice trembling, his hand running through his hair. "If you let me, I'll give you anything." His tone carries a hint of desperation. He had refrained from any physical contact since the beginning of your marriage. It would have created more distance between you, rather than bringing you closer. He didn't want your first night together to be the result of obligations. That would have been too cruel for his heart—feeling you so close, yet your heart so far away. No.

Your face flushes, and the overwhelming urge to conceal yourself becomes unbearable. You shake your head, swiftly discarding the golden covers from your body. "You must have misheard me," you hastily interject, planting your bare soles on the chilly floor. Before you can rise from the bed, San seizes your forearm and gently guides you back, prompting an unqueenly gasp to escape your lips.

He remains silent as he caresses your hairline with a tender hand, peering at you beneath his long lashes. Both of you linger in silence for a moment, locking gazes. The room is so quiet that you can almost discern the rhythmic thumping of his heart, although you can only feel it through the thin fabric of your nightgown.

"I like you," he murmurs into the void. You part your lips to reply, but he doesn't allow you to continue. "I don't know you, but I like you. I would say I love you, but I don't want to push you. So I'll settle for 'I like you.'" He concludes, his lips pressed together in an anxious frown.

You remain silent for a while, simply gazing at him, your eyelashes fluttering. San senses that he might be on the verge of being sick, until you break into a faint smile. Your hands find their way to his face, both of them cradling his cheeks, as your thumbs stroke gently.

"I don't… I don't know you," you mumble, and it's the truth. You hadn't taken the effort to learn more about him beyond the superficial information an empress should possess about her emperor, essential for ruling over a country by his side. "But I can learn. I can try."

Your voice barely rises above a whisper, and you both chuckle like children discovering something shiny.

He leans down over your body, planting a gentle kiss on the gold earring adorning your left ear and then another at the juncture of your ear and neck. He lingers for a few moments, inhaling your natural scent as he feels you shudder at the touch of his lips against your skin. A smirk tugs at his lips before he swiftly jumps out of bed, leaving you alone in the opulent chamber. You hear him exuberantly cheering with the knights outside the door, and you can't help but smile at his youthful enthusiasm. He's making a complete fool of himself, and you turn in the bed, burying your face in his pillow, releasing your own muffled scream of excitement, your feet kicking up in the air. You find yourself laughing, carried away by the rush of adrenaline.

Suddenly, someone clears their throat from behind you. You turn to find the rotation of maids, poised and ready for your daily morning routine. Flustered, you promptly compose yourself, rising to sit and smoothing down your hair. The youngest maids attempt to stifle their laughter behind their sleeves, while you attempt not to perish from embarrassment.

masterlist | taglist in comments

[mybelovedwoo]

choi san as boyfriend, please 🥺🙏🏻

choi san as boyfriend - headcanon

headcanon, romance, fluff, smut

gn!reader x bf!atz

wc. ~0.9k

an: this one was so much fun to write, thank u some much for requesting it. you can request headcanons if you want to!! if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

masterlist

-he is the definition of "the perfect boyfriend" and I'm not even overexaggerating

-this boy is so sweet with you, he acts as if you are made out of glass, he's so gentle and caring

-the biggest cuddle bug, is attached to you in some form in every given opportunity

-he likes to pick you up when you hug, and you wrap your legs around him, and after that, you can't go anywhere, he carries you around

-he is the type of boyfriend who hugs you from behind while you pay at the cashier, or when you do something in the kitchen

-he loves to hold your hands, he just thinks it's so cute, he even pecks it every here and there

-he also loves kissing you, and he's an excellent kisser, definitely knows what he's doing, he's giving you butterflies all the time

-he loves when you hold him in your arms, he feels the safest there

-he prefers to be the little spoon, but ever since he got this big it's just impossible for you to hold him in your arms as you used to

-he's a bit sad about it, but doesn't mind it that much as long as he can hold you instead, he is just not able to sleep without hugging you

-he rather stays home with you, where there's just the two of you, sharing intimate moments, he's a homeboy

-gives you all his attention, you never catch him being on his phone when you're there, he thinks every moment with you is precious, and he appreciates all of it

-he expects the same from you, gets all whiny and pouty when you aren't paying attention to him

-loves watching movies with you, cause when he goes abroad he watches them again and he thinks of you all the time, it comforts him

-loves it when you sit on his lap when he plays video games, he always strokes your back with one of his hands, and you always fall asleep hugging him tightly so you don't fall off (although he would never let that happen)

-his texting you all day long, even when he's at work, he always finds 5 minutes so he can check on you, and can send cute little texts

-at the end of the day, if you can't meet up, he's calling you, because he can't live a day without hearing your voice, you most definitely fall asleep still being on the call

-he is just so soft, nurturing, loving and he cares deeply for you, he makes sure you get all the love you deserve

-he is very supportive, he open-mindedly listens to your views and problems, he wants you to know that you can always rely on him

-he motivates and boosts your confidence, there's not a single day he doesn't tell you how beautiful you are inside and out

-he remembers every special occasion, date, and fact about you, your family, and even your friends

-he can be quite moody though, every activity depends on his mood, one moment he only wants to stay home with you, and the next he takes you on the craziest date ever, like going on a rollercoaster in an amusement park or bungee jumping 

- he doesn't show his soft spot to anyone, he prefers to cry and get emotional only with you

-he feels that you are the one in the first month of your relationship, he is very family-oriented, so he's been thinking about having a family with you early on in your relationship

-he's really romantic, sometimes he just lights candles and makes a warm bath for you with roses and champagne, because he thinks you deserve it

- he calls you really cute names like, sunshine, bunny, or gorgeous, although, in front of his family and friends, he likes to call you his wife, even when you aren't married yet

nsfw +18!!!

-i think he's a soft dom, I don't care what anyone says

-he loves to control you, but would never do something you don't like, and he could never hurt you, his heart could not bare it

-his sex drive is crazy, you have sex almost every time you meet, and can go multiple rounds, he has a lot of stamina

-he's worshipping your body every minute of it, he says things like "god, you're perfect" and "I want to kiss every part of you"

- and there's definitely not a single part on your body he hasn't kissed yet

-respect and trust are very important for him in the bedroom too, he would never say something to you he wouldn't say out of it, and he makes sure you feel safe and respected

-he loves to make you feel good more than himself, sometimes it's enough for him if he gives you head, and he doesn't want anything in return

-something that is a huge turn-off for him is when he's seeing you being hurt, either physically or verbally, so that's a no-no

-he asks you every here and there if you are enjoying yourself or you're feeling good, likes to know what you are thinking

- he always starts off slow and affectionate, but after some time he loses it and gets more and more faster and a little rougher (as I said he has a lot of stamina and needs to let it out somewhere)

-he's not too loud, he just groans and moans a lot into your ears

-he loves it when you sit on his lap and ride him though, he always holds your hand and tells you that you're doing good

-he's so soft and sweet after, aftercare is really important for him, first, he likes to cuddle, and after he likes to clean up with you, maybe taking a shower with you while you cuddle and wash off each other

[pocketjoong]

❥𓂃𓏧DESIRE

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS): You give San a backless jacket to wear for a performance, but San seems to have everything but the performance in mind.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING) idol!San x fem!Stylist!Reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS) smut. pwp. unprotected sex (DON'T DO THIS IRL)! use of pet names. San calls reader noona. Hints of a forbidden relationship/romance. lmk if I am missing something. MDNI.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT) 2.3k

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (NOTES) Seems familiar? I wrote and published this on my previous account (hoonieversed). This is an edited (and a better, imo) version hehe~ I always enjoy feedback, reviews, and asks so don't hesitate to comment/send an ask!

“Noona,” San’s voice, tinged with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty, echoes through the mostly empty room as he calls you from behind the door of the changing area. “I might need help wearing this… Whatever this is?”

A knowing chuckle escapes your lips at the confusion in his voice.

“Just a moment, Sannie,” you call out, absentmindedly brushing off the imaginary dust from Yunho’s outfit. With a mischievous grin, you make the taller male twirl around so that you can double-check the fit one last time.

Yunho's eyes sparkle with amusement as he watches you deliberately take your time with his outfit. “What have you given him, noona? He has never sounded this bewildered before,” his voice carries a playful curiosity.

The corner of your lip quirks up into a sly smile, and you wink at him, “You’ll find out soon enough. Now sit down somewhere while you wait for Jiyeon to help you with your mic pack. And, please don’t mess around with the gloves too much, they’re delicate.”

“Yes ma'am,” Yunho gives you a salute and plops next to Mingi, who’s taking a nap on the couch.

You knock on the door of the small room—calling it a room is quite generous of you, for it is barely big enough to be a closet. San is on the other side, and he cracks open the door a smidge, peeking from behind it. When he sees you, he pushes the door wider for you to step in.

The first thing you see when you enter is the male’s adorable pout. San is sporting the jacket he’s supposed to wear alright, but he is holding out the belt that goes with it, seemingly unaware of its use.

“Why do I even need a belt? And isn’t it too small for my waist?” He questions, his brows furrowing in confusion. His innocent curiosity causes you to let out an involuntary laugh.

“Noona!” He protests with a playful whine, his pout deepening, and you chuckle again, shaking your head at him affectionately. “Why are you making fun of me like this?”

With the belt firmly in place, you look at San with a playful glint in your eyes. “Can you do a twirl for me, Sannie?”

“I promise I’m not teasing, honey. Your expression is hilarious; now, if you don’t mind, would you turn around, for me please?” You smile, gently taking the belt from San’s hands.

You begin to secure the ends on the sides of his jacket, tugging it once to check its stability. As you work on his outfit, one of your hands brushes the younger male’s back, and you don’t miss the way his breath hitches nor do you miss the faint shiver that courses through him in response to the unexpected touch.

He clears his throat, and with a breathy ’yes,’ San obligingly turns around, granting you full access to inspect his outfit. You smile proudly as you assess your handiwork, happy that the outfits you’ve chosen for everyone are nothing short of amazing. This stage outfit, in particular, succeeds in bringing out the hard edges of San’s on-stage persona while complimenting his inherent gentleness.

“You look perfect, now all that’s left is for you to get your mic pack connected, and you’ll be all set for the show,” you say, your smile brimming with enthusiasm. However, you can’t resist adding a touch of playful admonishment as you glare at him, “And for heaven’s sake, don’t treat the belt with the same energy you handle your mics. This is the only one, and I will not repair it for you if you come back with it ripped.”

A mischievous grin creeps across San's face as he observes you. “You look so cute trying to threaten me, like a cute, angry kitten,” he muses before leaning down in an unexpected move to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

“San,” you protest softly as his kisses become more intense, attempting to halfheartedly push him away. You don’t want to risk ruining the outfit you had put so much effort into.

“Am I not allowed to kiss my partner just because it can ruin my outfit?” He speaks against your lips, his tone teasing. San's hands find their way to the exposed sliver of your back that is peeking through the crop top you’re wearing today, leaving you momentarily breathless.

“I can't have that, not when you're about to ruin all of my hard work,” you reply shakily when he pulls away for a brief moment to roll his eyes at you, only to swoop in for yet another passionate kiss. His hands travel downward, drawing you nearer with an abrupt pull, and you whine against his mouth when you feel his clothed length pressed against yourself.

“I promise to be careful,” he assures you with a wicked grin that sends shivers down your spine.

He makes quick work and rids you of your crop top, your lips detaching for a moment. As you glace at him, you can see how much you’ve affected San. Gone is your sweet Sannie, and in his place is the demon you usually see on stage, his pupils blown wide as his chest rises and falls to make up for the lack of oxygen.

In the blink of an aye, he bends down and lifts you up by your thighs, positioning your legs around his waist. Your own hands find firm purchase against his broad shoulders, as you try to keep yourself steady as San begins to carry you.

You’re so preoccupied with tasting his mouth and biting playfully at his lips that you let out a gasp when you feel your back pressed against the cold surface of the mirror. San doesn’t waste this opportunity to deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth.

Once he's sure that you won’t slip from your position against the mirror, his hand leaves your thigh and he chooses to gently caress your chest through the fabric of your crop top. San eagerly swallows your whine and you feel him smirk against your lips, causing you to nip at his lips in retaliation.

San licks his lips, leaving you so dazed that before you can even comprehend what’s happening, his deft hands have removed your bra, sending it carelessly flying behind himself. Without a moment’s hesitation, he takes one of your pebbled nipples in his mouth, his tongue tracing tantalizing circles around your sensitive bud, while his hand eagerly pinches the other. Your back arches due to the pleasure coursing through you, giving him all the access he wants.

San’s skillful ministrations elicit the sweetest of whimpers out of you, prompting him to let go of your breasts with a pop, his finger coming to tenderly press over your parted lips. “Hush, darling,” he admonishes, his voice low and tinged with a possessive growl. His eyes darken even further when he notices your fucked out expression. A wicked smirk dances at the edges of his lips as he speaks, “Don’t be so loud. I don’t want others hearing the delectable sounds you make. They’re just for me to hear.”

His smirk borders evil when he sits you down on the table and sinks to his knees, his warm palms gentle but firm as he encourages you to part your trembling thighs for him. You offer mild resistance, torn between pleasure and a vague worry that his fervor might ruin his outfit. You don’t have time for that.

“Sweetheart… please,” your lover implores, voice soft and earnest. With his chin rested against your knees, he gazes up at you with an endearing vulnerability. “I promised that I would be careful; we don’t have much time till I have to go out,” he reminds you.

With a sigh, you relent, giving him a nod of approval. “Alright, just be careful,” you tell him, parting your legs to grant him access. A smile plays on his lips as he leans in, placing tender kisses along the inner curve of your thigh. Your breath hitches when his fingers glide over your clothed folds, igniting a warmth in you.

You muffle your whimper against your palm when San slides off your skirt deftly, taking your panties off in the same swoop. “You’re always so beautiful for me,” he murmurs, letting one palm slide up from your knee to give your thigh a gentle, appreciative squeeze.

His touch sends shivers down your spine as he runs his fingers over you, parting your delicate folds. A content hum escapes San’s lips when he feels your arousal coating his fingertips. “Already so wet for me?” He teases, adding a bit more pressure, causing you to hiss appreciatively.

San starts a deliberate, rhythmic motion, sliding his fingers in and out while curling them inside you. You gasp, clutching onto his shoulder for support as he watches you squirm beneath his watchful gaze. You can feel the tips of his fingers grafting your sweet spot, adding to your pleasure. But just as you’re on the precipice of release, he withdraws, never breaking eye contact with you. With sensual deliberation, he brings his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean while emitting a throaty hum at the taste.

You struggle to stifle any sounds that might betray your pleasure, your hand reaching out for him. “C’mere, I want you,” you purr, your voice laced with desire. “Just… Take off your pants, please. I don’t want to ruin them before you go on stage.”

San mumbles something along the lines of ‘damn the pants’ but proceeds to remove them, and gently places them on the ground. You lick your lips when you see that the head of his member is already leaking with precum. He locks eyes with you, his gaze heavy-lidded with desire as he draws closer to you. When your nails lightly grazed his bare back, he lets out a hiss of pleasure, his eyes squeezing shut.

“Is that why you always give me backless outfits to wear?” He questions with a low, throaty growl, “You sly, cunning vixen.”

Your shiver in anticipation as you feel his touch, warm and intimate, igniting a fiery desire within. He tenderly rubs against your wetness, and your breath hitches in anticipation. Both of your moans are smothered by the urgency of your lips meeting in a fervent, needy kiss as his head gently slides into your core.

As he pushes deeper, the world seems to blur around you as your senses are consumed by the intoxicating feeling of San’s member moving against your walls. A shuddering sigh escapes your lips as he stills once he is fully sheathed, allowing you a moment to get used to the intense sensation, both of you immersed in the electric intimacy of the moment.

You grind against him, pressing your body closer, wordlessly urging him to continue. San takes a deep, steadying breath and withdraws, only to slide back inside you. The angle is so perfect that you have to bite down on your lips to stifle the passionate moans threatening to escape. He, too, buries his face into the crook of your neck, sucking on the tender flesh, leaving marks you’re sure you will have to cover up.

“Yes, Sannie, please, you feel so good,” A seductive, breathy plea, escapes your lips. You feel, rather than see, his wolfish grin against your skin. In response, you clench your muscles, causing a deep, throaty groan to tumble from his lips.

“Shh, my love,” you whisper, a cautionary tone in your voice as your fingernails trace a tantalising path down his scalp. “We wouldn't want everyone to catch wind of our little secret, now, would we?”

In response, he shakes his head, voice reduced to a choked, “No, noona.”

“Such a good boy for me,” you purr, a sultry smile playing at your lips. San preens at your praise, and you spread your legs further apart in an attempt to bring him closer to you. Sensing that you’re close, he lets go of your thigh, and his hands blaze a fiery trail down your stomach to rub teasingly at your clit.

Stimulated by his fingers, you’re unable to hold off any longer. You come against him, your walls clenching and unclenching against his cock. You ride your high as he maintains a relentless pace, each powerful thrust pushing him closer to his own peak while ensuring your climax soared even higher. 

“Fuck, you are so tight,” His voice is a husky whisper in your ear. “You’re so good for me, noona.”

It doesn’t take him long to reach his own high, and with a few more fervent thrusts, he’s spilling inside you. San’s head rolls forwards against your shoulder, and his mouth opens in fucked out bliss.

Slowly he lets himself lean into your body, the pleasure leaving his body weak. He smiles radiantly when you kiss his cheek and nuzzles his nose into your own in an affectionate gesture that reminds you of a kitten. The two of you stay like that for a few moments, just basking in each other’s presence.

A soft whimper escapes your lips as San withdraws from you, leaving you acutely aware of his warmth. You can feel his release, mingled with your own, trickle down, and you watch in stillness as San reaches for a few wet tissues to clean himself before helping you tidy up.

His lips press against your forehead, and the two of you hurriedly begin dressing up, the urgency of the moment settling upon you. It dawns on you that it won’t be long before someone will call for San, reminding you both of the demands of the world looming over you.

As you swiftly assist him with his outfit, making a few final adjustments with nimble fingers, you complete your task in the nick of time. The very next second, a knock echoes through the room, and Hongjoong’s voice filters in, signaling that San is needed as they are supposed to get ready for standby.

[yunhobug]

San NSFW Alphabet

San x Gn!reader

w: it’s a bit filthy i’ll be honest with you

Requested: yess, by anon

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

San is quite attentive with aftercare, he’ll make sure you’re cleaned up and ask if you’d like any thing to eat or drink

but honestly he just wants to hold you

he’d also love if you returned the favor

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself he loves his shoulders and chest area, he likes how broad he is and loves when you compliment him on how hard he’s worked out to achieve them

on you, he loves your legs and ass, listen i’m gonna be blunt, San is an ass man through and through

also loves to put your legs up onto his shoulders

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He prefers to cum on your stomach and back, but he secretly, loves to cum on your face

he would also love if you licked it off your lips when he does

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So i’m my head San is a dom about 90% of the time but he LOVES when he subs

He wants to be degraded and overstimulated till he cries but he isn’t sure how comfortable you would be doing that so he doesn’t want to bring it up

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s pretty experienced, he has had a few partners and he’s definitely seen enough porn

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Back to the San ass man agenda, he loves doggy

he also loves to bend you over things, desk, kitchen counter, bathroom sink you name it

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s not super goofy, there’s times where if an accident happens he can laugh it off but he’s serious majority of the time

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t shave, but he tries to keep everything clean and trimmed, as an idol he just doesn’t always have the time to stay fully bare

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

SUPER ROMANTIC!

sex with sannie gets better as your relationship continues

he’s an emotional lover and ties romantic and emotional attraction to sexual attraction

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

please he’s a man in his early 20’s

probably a few times a week, more if he hasn’t seen you in awhile

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OKAY HERE WE GO

like i said he’s more dominant than submissive, but i also think he would want to try everything at least once so there’s not really one specific thing i would pinpoint but..

degradation mixed with praise (the faux sympathy type of stuff)

also loves sensory play, likes to blindfold you and have you guess what he’s going to do, where he’s going to touch you, and when

also loves when you beg for him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

literally anywhere, likes the risk of getting you off in public

but loves to fuck you in the practice room, knowing any of the other members could find you guys makes him go crazy

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

honestly just you in general, but he loves when you get more touchy and clingy with him, knowing you want him is enough to get him turned on

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing super pain inducing, he likes to spank you but he won’t go too far with it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes when you sit on his face, especially when you lean down to take his cock into your own mouth

a true 69 lover

but i think he’d enjoy receiving more, loves to watch tears fill your eyes as you try and take all of his cock into your mouth

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough is the usual way to go unless he’s trying to be more on the romantic side

he enjoys watching your facial expressions when he’s fucking into

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesn’t mind them!

he knows he’s good and can get both of you to cum quickly so he doesn’t stress too much about it

plus it just means he knows he can fuck you again later in the day

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

like i said above he likes the idea of someone walking in on you guys

san is one of the more possessive members so he wouldn’t want anybody to stick around but loves the thrill of his members knowing how well he fucks you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

have y’all seen him perform? i think that explain it haha

He has a surprisingly short refractory period and is quick to jump into another round with you

I wanna say 2-4 depending on the day

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

likes to use vibrators on the both of you

he likes how much it adds to both of your guys’ pleasure and loves to edge you with them

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Literally LOVES to tease you

he’s not super mean about it though

loves to hear you beg for his cock but after hearing your pleas for long enough he’ll make sure to give you what you want

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

San isn’t super loud but he’ll make every sound in the book

grunts, groans, moans, whimpers you name it

but also LIVES FOR DIRTY TALK

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

San never quite realized how much he loved to watch you guys in the mirror until one morning when he bent you over the bathroom counter

looking up into the mirror and being able to see the way his cock drills into you and the facial expressions you make will forever be engraved into his mind

“just fucking look at yourself angel, look at how well you take me”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I wanna say about 5” but he’s pretty girthy

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

it’s quite high, probably the highest out of the members

he probably would want to have sex 5 times a week

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets pretty tired but he’s going to make sure you’re taken care of first, as long as you are comfortable and content he just wants to hold you and take a nap

[thewonandonly]

09:30 — don't know where you are right now, did you see me on tv? i'll try not to starve myself, just because you're mad at me, and i'll be in denial for at least a little while, what about the plans we made? | tv by billie eilish

san sat in the dressing room, using the towel given to him to wipe his forehead from his sweat, pulling out his phone from his bag to look at his messages; if there were any.

only to his disappointment to see that there were none.

not a single message from you, even telling him how amazing he performed like you normally did. he felt nauseous.

it was really over.

his fingers lingered on the home screen, frowning to himself before he tossed his phone aside, feeling anger and resentment towards you.

but he loved and missed you so much. please don't take his thoughts the wrong way.

he just needed you.

copyright © 2023 thewonandonly. all rights reserved.

[astroyongie]

Wet Castle

Note: This took me a while, I hope you guys enjoy it ! 

pairings: Wooyoung x YN and San x YN 

synopsis: After growing up in one of the most dangerous Seoul Gangs, a strange accident made you decide to cut ties with your affiliation and leave the gang you were so attached with. You moved to Itaewon, doing small works for money, until the day you met Wooyoung, a nice guy next door who worked right under a small coffee shop. You can’t help getting closer to Wooyoung, knowing fairly well that your past life will never leave you alone.. 

Triggers:  harsh language, mentions of traumatic pasts, guns and alcohol 

Read Part Two: Here

Part Three

You had followed Wooyoung to one of his favorite bars. It was a small place, hidden between the small streets in Itaewon. Neon lights decorated the walls, providing lights mingled in pallets of green, blue and purple. To your surprise, the streets were not as crowded as the main street. For once it felt nice, the usual drunkyard noises long gone.

As the night poured its darkness over Seoul, you started to feel more chilly. Wrapping your arms around your body, you followed Wooyoung inside the small bar. The soft music played in the background. The place wasn't full, probably only 10 people were around, along with the two bartenders. The atmosphere wasn't as dark as other pubs. Instead the artificial lights provided a warm cozy vibe. 

You both sat at one of the tables, facing each other. Here, the usual chairs had been replaced with small red couches, allowing you to relax your body on them. You looked around, taking in the sight and immersing yourself on the place. By reflex, you were quick to identify the way outs of the bar, the people that were around and their vibe. Identifying enemies in the public had been something that you had been taught ever since you were a child. Some habits were hard to die.

“You okay?” Wooyoung asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah sorry.” you said brushing him off. “I never came here before”

“They serve the best margaritas”

You looked at Wooyoung with a dumb expression. He was serious. You chuckled. “Do you seriously have margaritas when you go out to drink?”

“Yeah” he said naturally and you cuffed in amusement.

“That's why you are single, brat”

His embarrassment made you smirked. As the bartender came to your table, you allowed Wooyoung to order for both. Pulling one of your cigarettes on your lips, you light it up, taking the first hit. 

“You were mocking my taste in alcohol and yet, there you are allowing me to choose for you”

“I need to get to know the taste on my enemy”

“Oh?” he asked, amused this time. “Do I look like a menace”

“A menace for taste buds”

He laughed, pushing his hair out of his face. A pathetic move that made you gazed at the boy intensely, more than you had wished for. You were here for a good time and you would rather drink whatever he would have, than pouring yourself strong alcohols. You couldn't allow yourself to get drunk while being around Wooyoung. For his sake, and yours.

Without any surprise, Wooyoung was a very easy guy to talk to. Each time you spoke he would watch you with bright eyes, swallowing any word that you throw at him, despite most of them being insults and critics to his tastes. 

But he didn’t complain.

In return, he spoke to you about his studies. You learnt that he had pursued an art career but he hadn't found any job that suited him, hence his current part time job. You made a mental note of that. With your connections, you were sure that you could find him a good job. 

You drank. Such thoughts weren’t something that you should allow yourself to have, especially considering your current situation. Wooyoung made everything seem easy and attainable. His personality was a contrast of the violent life you had known all your life, and you couldn't help but be drawn to that kind of feeling.

Wooyoung laughed loudly, his dimples poking. You didn’t know why he was laughing. Hell, you had not been listening to him, your mind was lost on the possibilities you could have around him to fully pay attention to his words. You had no clue if he had caught your inattention, but if he had, he hasn't said anything. Shit, he was too good. 

Taking sips of his drink, his eyes became half lidded, his body curving to your side as if he was trying to get closer to you. It was adorable to be honest, despite your initial annoyance with him.

“So tell me more about you” Wooyoung said, putting an end to his monologue as he took a gulp from what seemed to be a tonic gin. You grimaced at his drink of choice, playing with the straw of your own drink. A negroni. His taste really was awful. You crossed your legs, and let out a little sigh.

“There’s nothing important or interesting to say”

“That’s up to me to judge” He said, his body leaning more toward you.

“Are you trying to dig shit on me, brat?”

“Of course not. But I have shared about my life and I only know about your name” he explained.

You took a sip of the negroni, humming. “I don’t know anything interesting about you other than your art studies and your awful alcohol taste.”

“Well that's not true” Wooyoung said, his eyes studying you. He did seem a little hurt by the lack of engagement on your part which made you internal wince.  “You know that I am a gentleman that saves ladies from drunkyards and that I have a good job at Pirate Coffee Shop” you chuckled at his outcome, trying to lighten up the mood. You took another sip. 

“Are you paid well at least?” 

“Enough” he admitted with a grin “the old man is a friend of my grandpa, gotta keep around”

“I see” you answered before exchanging a long silence. Your eyes were on him and he didnt dodge either. You have to admit, Wooyoung was a good flirt with his eyes and he had proven himself a rather good company. You wanted to tell him about you. But there was nothing worth sharing, nothing that would have made him stay anyway. And you wanted to be greedy just a little longer, keep him just a little longer. 

“It’s okay” Wooyoung finally broke the silence, a little smile on his face “you don't have to tell me about yourself, if you don't feel comfortable”

Ah, shit. you wanted to slap him. Fuck, you wanted to kiss him too. 

“You just like being a green flag, don't you?” you asked and Wooyoung gave you a questioning look. “I mean, you are quite considered for a guy”

“I was raised by my mother. She taught me well, I guess” he shrugged.

“No, Wooyoung,” You corrected. “you just have basic human decency”

“I will take that as a compliment” 

You both chuckle before exchanging another rather long gaze. He didn't seem to battle one eyelash and you also didn't want to lose this stupid little content. You felt your body lean into his, searching for more contact. Before doing anything you would regret later, the loud noises inside the bar caught both your attention. On the small stage at the corner of the bar, two people had microphones in their hands. They started what seemed to be a session of karaoke, cheered by the other people inside the bar. As the loud music starts playing and the voices of the two strangers resonated, you massaged your temples. This truly wasn't the type of bar you had the habit of visiting.  This was low taste and rather cheap. 

Looking at Wooyoung, you saw the meanest grin plastered on his face. It made you frown. 

“What?” you asked

“Wanna sing?”

“You out of your mind” you said, grabbing your drink and taking a rather long gulp, until it was finished. Smalling the glass on the table, he leaned his head on his hand, a playful smirk on dancing on his plum lips.

“What? didn't know the almighty Y/N was scared of the crowd”

“I am not scared!” you quickly defended yourself, your eyes on him. Shit.. he was playing you and you were falling on it. “I just don't do this type of shit”

“Yeah whatever, you can just admit you are terrified”

You looked at him, and Wooyoung smiled at you. The way his dimples were showing was making your stomach twist interestingly. You looked away and groaned, torn between wiping off the grin of his face or kissing him right there and here

“Buy me two tequila shots and I will humiliate you on stage”

His grin grew impossibly wider. “Bet on”

It didn't take long. Wooyoung stood up and fetched the drinks. You both drank together, your tongue burning at the strong alcohol. You had never sang karaoke in your entire life, you like hell you would let this bastard win and make fun of you. 

You had no idea how things had happened. One second you were settling the alcohol on your stomach and the other second, Wooyoung had his hand wrapped on yours, dragging you to the stage. you prayed the alcohol was making his appearance quick. 

But you had to admit. For the first time in your pathetic mafia life, you were having fun without a care in the world. One song became two and two became three until you lost count of the songs and drinks you had. 

On the stage, you sang loudly, drink in hand and a pair of sunglasses on your face that you had probably stolen from someone in the audience. You and Wooyoung poured everything out, singing out of key and probably sounding like dying goats. But people were claiming you both, cheering you on as you both sang song after song. At one point in the evening, you were singing with unknown people, sharing drinks and by the end of it, you were lying flat on one of the couches. 

You felt your mind dizzy from the alcohol, your head laying on Wooyoung’s shoulders. He caressed your tight every so slightly, his free hand raised in the air, singing along to the song that was being sung by random people on stage. 

You closed your eyes, taking in his peppermint scent. It was fresh yet musky enough to make you feel comfortable. His jacket was tightly wrapped around your shoulders and you didn’t remember when he had landed you his clothing. You felt Wooyoung's fingers brushing against your hair, awakening you from your semi unconscious state. Suddenly aware of your surroundings, you quickly recoil, pushing away from Wooyoung. Then, both of you exchanged eye contact and you felt your cheeks reddened in embarrassment. No way this man had made you completely lose the awareness of your surroundings.

“You okay?” he asked amused

“Yeah, sorry didn't mean to be a dead weight on you” you said, rubbing your neck and chuckling to get rid of your own shyness.

“It's fine” he brushed it off with a smile, his dimples showing full force. “wanna get out of here?”

You looked at Wooyoung in disbelief, trying to catch any sign of sub-intentos. But as always his eyes were soft, almost innocent and that annoyed you. One part of you wished he would be more assertive and give you what you had been craving since he had been this close to you. The fact he was so close yet so distant drove you insane.

“Yeah, let's go. It's getting late anyway. Don't you have to work tomorrow?” you asked as you stood up from your seat. Wooyoung mimicked you.

“I do”

“Shit, we should have gone home sooner” you said as you looked at your watch, indicating that it was already past 3 in the morning. Wooyoung grinned before taking your hand to get out of the bar. He gently pushed you to the front, his hand resting on the smaller of your back to guide you through the crowd. Once you both reach outside, your lungs breathe in the fresh cold air. It felt refreshing, yet you were already missing the intoxicating smell of nicotine. Or perhaps of peppermint.

“Can I take you home?” Wooyoung asked and you looked at him, a grin plastered on your face.

“What a gentleman-way to ask me to get inside my pants, brat”

“What? No!” he quickly said, a shade of pink tinting his cheeks as you both walked down the street “I would never”

“You would never fuck me?” you asked in a teasing manner and he groaned, rubbing his face in embarrassment. Despite the darkness, you could still see how his face was lit up, probably helped by the alcohol.

“Y/n just stop teasing me, I am too drunk for that”

“You walking straight bastard, you ain’t drunk enough” You pointed out, as you grabbed his arm for support

He simply smiled, walking by your side as you both remained silent, enjoying the company of each other. The streets were empty, but you didn't feel alone. The warmth of Wooyoung’s body makes you feel comfortable. As you were reaching to the staircase of your apartment, your body shifted. You noticed the black tinted windows car stopped in the street. You felt the awareness crawling in your spine. Shit, they were here again. 

You heard Wooyoung talking to you, but you didn't hear a word. Instead you grabbed his arm in urgency, hushing him from his own words. He looked down at you confused.

“Get out of here” you said in the most cold, quiet voice you could master. “don't ask why, don't turn back, just get straight home”

“what? Y/n is something wro–”

“Y/n”

You cursed under your breath as you heard Yeosang’s voice calling you. The man who had been standing in the shadows, walked toward you, his eyes discarding the existence of Wooyoung. You couldn’t believe your luck. Letting go of Wooyoung, you stepped in front of him, hoping that it would be enough to shield him from Yeosang. 

“What are you doing here? I told you not to come back here again”

“I am just doing my job” Yeosang spoke, as he threw the butt of his unfinished cigarette on the ground.

“Well it's fucking annoying” you said, your face warmign up from the conflicted emotion. Yeosang wasn’t loyal to you, he was loyal to San. Despite your higher rank, you were currently not in the gang to mean anything to him and therefore, Wooyoung could be caught in the fire. 

Yeosang sighed. “Please, get in the car, Sa–”

“Fuck off, Yeosang” you murmured, sending a death glare his way. Yeosang retributed the gesture, taking a step closer to you. But as he did so, Wooyoung pushed you behind his back. Your eyes widen, anxiety rushing through your veins.

“Hey dude, I don't know what your problem is, but she doesn't want to speak to you. So please, move on” Wooyoung's voice got slightly threatening, his gaze sustaining Yeosang’s. You cursed under your breath, the damn brat not taking a freaking hint of your warning. Yeosang looked at him uninterested, before looking at you from behind Wooyoung’s shoulders. 

“Are you going to fuck this one too? Your standard have reach quite low–”

You wanted to rip Yeosang’s face out, stab his fucking neck for the lack of respect he had been treating you ever since you had quit the gang. You deserved it, you knew you did. But it made you angry nonetheless. 

“Hey!!” Woyyoung's voice got louder, his body shifting. You could tell he was getting genuinely upset “I don't know who the hell you are, but–”

You let out a loud gasp when Yeosang took his gun out of his holder and pointed it to Wooyoung, his eyes hinting that your friend’s existence was unspoken for. Wooyoung froze in place, shock overwhelming him. You quickly got in front again, your hand going to Yeosang’s gun and pulling it close to your own body. You knew he wouldn't dare to shoot you.

“The fuck you think you are doing?!” you screamed at him, anger making your body shiver “You out of your fucking mind, Yeosang?”

He did not answer, instead he groaned, pulling his gun back to his holder. “San wants to talk to you. Please, get into the car.”

You bit your tongue in rage, weighing your options. You had no weapon on you and you couldn't lose control in front of Wooyoung. You didn't want to, that would terminate something you earned for. Wooyoung’s safety came first, and you needed to act based on that. 

Fuck. You cursed out loud, sending a glare to the car parked on the other side. Turning around, you looked at Wooyoung whose face was blank. Probably in confusion and fear. You couldn't blame him. Pushing your hand inside your pocket, you reached for your keys. 

“Wooyoung” you called but he did not answer you, his eyes still on your Yeosang “Hey, brat, listen to me!” you called, pulling at his shoulder until he looked down at you “This is the keys to my flat. It’s the 301. Get in, lock in. I will be back. Don't come out until I come back” 

Wooyoung looked at you and you felt all the questions dancing behind his eyes. You felt his anger, his indignation and his confusion. 

“I won't be letting you with this psycho!” He yelled, reaching for his phone “I will call the cops–”

“Stop it” You said aggressively, which startled him. “I am fine! Just do what you are told, please” you reassured him, squeezing his lower arm, before pursing your lips together “Please, just go”

He stood there silent, exchanging his gaze between you and Yeosang. You sighed in relief when he nodded. Then, grabbing the keys from your hands, Wooyoung walked past you and Yeosang in direction to the staircases. You waited, your eyes following the boy as he walked up before disappearing inside the complex. 

Your eyes went straight to Yeosang who seemed to be more relaxed, his hands going to his pockets. You walked to him while he was gazing at the ground.

“San wants to–”

Yeosang yelped, taking a few steps back as he felt the impact of your fist connect against his jaw. He groaned in discomfort, holding his chin as you looked at him with spite. “Point a gun at what's mine and I will fucking rip your head. Are we clear?”

Yeosang spat blood on the ground, before recomposing himself, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. “Don't be so damn sensitive about a random guy”

“It's not about a random guy, it’s about you not knocking your place and fucking disrespecting me, you dipshit”

After these words you turned around, walking toward the car that was still parked there. Before you got inside you turned your body, looking at Yeosang who already had his eyes on the staircase that led to your flat.

“Yeosang” you called “I hereby forbid you to touch that boy. If you do, you will lose more than just your hands”

Yeosang looked at you almost uninterested but you knew by the glow of his eye that he had understood the threat. Even if he wasn’t working under you, he worked for San. And San wouldn't tolerate you being upset, or thus, you hoped. Pulling at the door’s handle, you opened the car, before climbing in. The scent of expensive cologne hit your nose as you closed the door. The immersive presence of San overwhelmed your senses and you felt your body crisp. Looking at him, his eyes were already on you, his face stern. 

“The fuck you want?” you asked, wrapping Wooyoung’s jacket around your body in a stupid attempt to stop the shivers that this man gave you, each time his eyes landed on you. 

“Quite a spectacle you did out there”

“I swear to fucking god if you have nothing interesting to tell me, I am leaving and setting you all fuckers on fire!”

San snickered at your nasty mood, before giving the driver some instructions. The man nodded, starting the car smoothly. The engine purred, setting the vehicle into motion. You tried to relax against the expensive leather but it was impossible when San was eyeing you with such an intense stare. His blond hair was falling over his eyes, hiding the menace that he truly represented.

“Where’s my greeting kiss?” He asked, his voice dripping with tease. You felt your patience run thin.

“I am going to punch you” You said, feeling your hands trembling in rage. San studied you, before humming understanding that his reading wasn’t going to ease you.

“I was expecting you to come to the corporation, after my visit yesterday” He said, reaching for his blazer pocket, getting himself a smoke.

“Why would I ever do that? You can't take a hint?”

“You are the one who can take a hint,” San said as he put the butt of the cigarette against his lips, lighting it up. 

“I told you i was out, San” you said, your voice dropping to a neutral timber as you looked over at the window. You were about to exit Itaewon, getting into the highway.

“You are needed. Your father left a testimony behind, as you are aware. Our sponsors won’t accept to do business unless you are the one signing the contracts”

You looked at San with the most obvious face you could master. All this scene for this? You laughed, rubbing your face in your hands as he blew the smoke inside the car. His eyes gently looked at you. He pitied you. You felt your stomach take a twist.

“I made it clear, I don't want the Corporation. Didn’t you take matters into your own hands? As far as I know, you own Zeeta”

San sighed, his hand rubbing his own temples as he took another hit of his expensive tobacco. “I do. Just not officially. Everything is still under your name”

“I will fucking sell it to you, San” You said, looking at him. You were becoming nauseous the more you spoke of this matter. 3 months you had run away from this and very damn time it seemed like this cursed corporation didn't want to let you go.

“You know that's not possible,” San said, sighing once again. His free hand went to your face, caressing your skin. The touch paralyzed you, his burning skin feeling like a perpetuated memory. He brushed a few pieces of your hair out of your face, mastering a sympathetic smile as you were struggling to keep your tears in your eyes from rolling. 

Fuck, the power this man had over you was a no joke. He was capable of making you feel like falling in pieces and then he would build you up again, just to watch you crumble underneath his fingers once more.

“Zeeta was made by your grandfather under a strict code. The Corporation, all the casinos, hotels and illegal trafficking will always belong to the Zeeta family and at this moment you are the one who owns it. With your father’s and brother’s death–” “Shut up” you said through gritted teeth, breathing loudly through your nose to recompose yourself. San gave you a few seconds before continuing. He was cruel, poking at open wounds, watching it bleeding for his own expenses. 

“I have power on it at the moment, but I can't make any decisive decisions without your consent. If I did so, we would lose our sponsors your grandfather built  and that would make us lose a bunch of money.” He murmured, his voice so low it felt like it came from inside your skull. You closed your eyes for a second as you felt his fingers brush against your cheek. “There’s only one way–”

“Kill me” you said, this time looking at San. Looking deeply into the numbness of his eyes, San’s smile faded. Those were words he didn't want to hear ever again. But you saw him master behind his feelings as he grinned. He pushed himself away from you, taking another hit of his cigarette.

“I could never. That would make me a traitor.”

“I will do it myself”

“Pointless. Zeeta would just pass the business to one of your cousins, the ones that your father chased away. That would be pissing on his grave and his memory, don’t you think love?”

You felt your anger boiling again. The audacity he had to speak of your father like this, after all the shit he had done made you want to murder him. Perhaps you should.

“The fuck you want me to do?” you asked in fury, desperation crawling into your voice “I won't come back, I can't come back!” You yelled, not caring that the driver was listening to the whole conversation. You felt your chest tighten with a well known anxiety that you had tried to deny for the past few months. San stayed quiet, his eyes analyzing you again.

“Marry me” He blurbed out and you looked at him offended. What the fuck was he trying to do? “I would allow you to be wherever you want, be whoever you want. You would be protected and not an outcast. I would have the Zeeta name and proceed with the business and you wouldn't have to worry about a thing”

You knew San too well. This wasn't an act of mercy, this wasn't him trying to help a friend, a lover. This was him setting a trap, playing with your vulnerabilities and fears to get you exactly where he wanted you. Marrying him wasn't a solution, it was a doomed ending.

“Fuck you san”

He sighed, grimacing as if he was hurt by your answer “Perhaps I should have kneeled during my proposal, I apologize”

“Get fucked!”

“Please, understand that I am trying my hardest to protect you. It's only a matter of time until our enemies find you and hang you. If they feel merciful. 

“Like I care” 

“If that happens the whole Corporation would be at war”

You knew that. You know he wasn’t wrong but you couldn't bring yourself to accept his demands. You hated him too much, despite your love for him, and you still couldn't forgive him for what he had done. 

Looking through the window, your eyes went to the big skyscrapers, reaching up through the starlight night sky. You missed your father terribly but you also hated him for putting all this on you. You had grown up in the corporation, trained to be second in hand with your brother. But then, you fell in love with San and one thing led to another, until San had destroyed your whole life. You felt the pain hitting your chest. It was hard to breathe. You couldn't remember that day without feeling like you were being swallowed whole. 

The pain was too much. 

The first sob left your lips before you felt San reached for you. He pulled you close to him and instead of comforting you with a hug, he connected his lips to yours. Unable to breathe, you close your eyes firmly, focusing on the kiss and allowing your heartbeat to adjust to the sudden aggression on your mouth. He held your face with his colossal hands, his lips skillfully moving against your. Once he broke the kiss, he connected your forehead, breathing deeply. Unconsciously you mimicked him, your breathing getting back to normal. His thumb rubbed gentle circles under your eyes, waiting for you to be calm.

“I need you to come back, y/n”

“I need time to think”

San groaned in discontentment, pulling his face away from yours before looking down at you. You felt your body getting more relaxed, the tears that threatened to escape drying on the corner of your eyes. 

“One week.” 

You nodded at his words. That was enough time to allow you to come up with a plan that would make you disappear from this damned country. Just enough for no one to find you and enough time to fix your shit and make sure no one would be in danger. You watched as San kept his eyes on your body this time, a stern look becoming more frustrated

“What’s wrong?”

You asked but instead of answering you, he opened the window of his side, the cold air making you shiver. Without any word, San leaned forward, ripping the jacket around your shoulders and throwing it out through the window.

“San!!” you yelled trying to reach for him but it was too late “The fuck you doing?!”

“You wearing that fucker clothing as if he owned you”

“For fuck sakes, I was just cold” 

San glared at you. “one week, y/n. Don't abuse the love I have for you”

You bit the inside of your cheek, the good mood long gone. As always, the rollercoaster of emotions with San’s obnoxious and double personality was complicated. He was as considered as he was cruel. 

“I already agreed to that week”

“Good. I will take care of that bastard too, to keep you from distractions” 

You glared at San this time, pulling at his shirt. You got him close to you, his eyes widen slightly before he composed himself, a grin plastered on his face. 

“Oh?”

“You ain't touching a shit” you threatened. You wouldn't allow Wooyoung to get caught midfire. Usually you wouldn't mind casualties, that's how your world worked anyway. But Wooyoung had been nothing but good and you couldn't allow him to get hurt because of you. San had already taken all the joys of your life and you would rather burn than allow it to happen again.

“Don't say it like that” San purred, closing the little space between your faces “seeing you angry and desperate makes me want to rip his throat”

Capturing your lips again, he kissed you with passion, the exchange getting him in a mood you had no intention to play on tonight. You are forced to pull away, the intoxicating feeling of his lips on yours making you dizzy.

You hissed. “I am serious San, if anything happens to him, I will make sure you regret your whole existence” 

San hummed, stealing a fury kiss from you. You bit his bottom lip in warning and he groaned lowly against you. You felt your core pulse from the sound and you hated that the situation was making you this excited. again, he had you exactly where he wanted.

“Whether I hurt him or not will depend on your answer, White Tiger”

You looked into his half lidded eyes, a smirk painted on his face. The need of murdering him was excruciating and yet you found yourself leaning against his lips again, drinking away his low sounds that made you feel loved and wanted. You wanted to run away from your past, but as long as San, the Red Dragon was alive, these chains would never shatter.

[shyxcherry]

Drinking Games | San

summary: when you need an easy way to make money during your last semester of college, your friend gets you a job at a local bar. you wish that didn't include the cute singer who won't leave you alone, but when do things ever go your way.

pairing: Singer!San x Bartender!Reader

genre/warning: fluff, angst, smut, drunk men as reader does work in a bar, San is an idiot, but we love him anyway

Word count: 10.9k

note: My biggest fic i’ve ever written. i hope you enjoy it. there may or may not be a part two in the works.

You tie your hair up in a knot as you open your locker door. You throw your bag and phone into the locker before shutting it. You put your lock back onto the locker, so no one steals your stuff. This room may be locked by a code and only accessible to employees, but you wouldn't put it past anyone to steal your things. This was a bar after all.

You had gotten this job about a week ago. You needed a way to make money so you could pay your way through your last semester of college. You had tried working during the day, but between your classes and studying, you were mentally and physically exhausted. When your roommate Chae suggested a night job at the job where she works, you were against it. But you needed money, and what better way to make money than being a bartender?

Chae and another bartender, Miyoung, had spent the last few days teaching you the basics of drink making. You were in college, so of course you did know the basics. You and Chae would also practice drink making one your weekly movie nights. So, you at least knew your way around the bar.

You felt the heavy bass under your feet as you make your way to the bar. You nod your head greeting Jungho, one of the security guards who worked here. He was quite tall and looked like your typical scary guard, but Chae assured you that he was a big Teddy bear. Both him and Yunho, who was a guard as well.

You had some unspoken rules that Chae and Miyoung had told you about. One: Don't wear your hair down. Drunk man will grab it when you don't give them what they want. Two: Don't be afraid to show some skin. It will get you more tips. And three: Don't get involved with San. He was the leader of the group Purple Rose. You didn't have to ask what that meant since Chae had told you when it happened a few months ago.

Apparently, the last female bartender they hired thought she had a thing with San. They did sleep together, but San said that it was a one-night stand. That caused her to go 'crazy' according to Chae. There was even a rumor that she slashed his tires.

Today was your first day working without the help of Chae or Miyoung. You were working with a man named Hongjoong. You had met him when you were hired here. He was nice from what you could tell. He had some facial piercings and a sleeve of tattoos. Your favorite thing about him was his hair. It was split dyed black and white.

"What's up, short cake?" You heard Hongjoong yell at you over the loud music. They had just opened the doors, so people were starting to flood in.

"Like you're the one to talk." You joke. He was one of the shortest guys who worked at the bar. He hated when people rubbed that in. He bumped your hip as he brushed past you.

"Shut up."

The two of you get the bar prepared as people started to line up. You put on a smile as you started taking orders. You and Hongjoong worked around the bar nicely together. He told you that the two of you make a good team.

"Hey (Y/N)!" You look over to see Yeosang. He was the waiter of the VIP lounge. He would take drink orders and bring them back. The VIP lounge isn't very large, so Yeosang could manage it well on his own. "A round of vodka shots and a martini please."

You take the some shot glasses and place them on the tray he was holding. You pour a generously large amount of vodka in the glasses. You then work on making the martini. You place the mixed drink in a cute glass before placing an olive spear in it. You give it to Yeosang. He thanked you before walking off.

You look up from making a drink as the people of the dance floor start cheering. There you saw the owner of the bar standing on the stage. You knew what was about to happen. Purple Rose was about to play. The band was very popular for a small group. According to Chae, they are the main reason this bar stays afloat. The lead singer, San, had been sick, so they haven't played the last few days. This would be your first time watching them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you having a good night tonight." The owner, who told you to call him Red, spoke into the microphone. "It's about to get even better. Give it up for Purple Rose."

The crowd went crazy as four men walked onto the stage. You knew a little about them from Chae. The drummer was first. His name was Mingi. He was tall with gray hair. You smile as he jumped around the stage getting everyone hyped up.

Next were the two guitarists. On the bass was Seonghwa. He had black hair that was slicked back. He sported a leather jacket, which was his signature look. The other guitarist was Wooyoung. His hair was similar to Hongjoong's with the black in white, but the white was tucked underneath the black.

The last to come out was San, the singer. You felt like your ears were going to shatter with how loud the girls were screaming. His hair was slicked back like Seonghwa, but he had a red streak going down the middle.

"Thank everyone for coming out tonight. We are Purple Rose, and we're going to play some songs for you if that's okay?" San spoke into the microphone. The audience responded with cheers and whistles.

You did your best to watch them perform while you served drinks to people at the bar. You couldn't take your eyes off of San. The way he moved around the stage. It is like he belonged there. His voice was amazing as well. He had a natural growl to his voice.

You knew better than to interact with him though. He looked like the type who could make girls fall in love with him with one conversation. You weren't going to be one of them. You needed this job.

The group played for another half hour before announcing that their set was done for the night. You noticed that the four of them got off the stage and took pictures with the women who were waiting for them. You rolled your eyes before looking away as one girl, who barely had any clothes on, threw herself at them.

"Hello there, angel. I haven't seen you before." You heard someone say from behind you. You turn to see San leaning onto the counter with a smirk on his face. "Are you new?"

"Yes, I just started here last week." You answer shortly as you handed some guy his fifth beer.

"My name is San." He held out his hand for you to shake. You looked at his hand for a moment before leaning over and shaking his hand.

"(Y/N)."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful woman." He replied to you. You rolled your eyes at him before crossing your arms over your chest. You didn't miss him glancing at your chest.

"What can I get you to drink?"

"Trying to get rid of me so soon?"

"How did you guess?" You answered him. A loud laugh came out of his mouth, almost startling you. San liked you so far. A woman who fights back and doesn't just throw herself at him. It made him want to fight back.

"Just a beer."

You make him a glass of beer before sitting the tall glass in front of him. He thanked you before taking a long sip of the beer. He reached in his pocket and pulled out some money, but that's where you stopped him.

"It's on the house."

He should know this. All four of the band members get free drinks. Red said that it was one of his form of payments for them performing for him.

"It's a tip, angel. I only tip the pretty ones."

"And that's supposed to make me feel good?" You question him. Before he could respond, Hongjoong yelled from behind you.

"Is that why you never tip me?"

"You're not a pretty girl." San replied with an eye roll upset that he was interrupting his conversation with you.

"That's hurtful." You laughed as Hongjoong placed his hand over his heart.

"Don't worry. I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen." You reply.

"Thank you." Hongjoong smiled at you before glaring at San. "That's how you compliment someone."

You felt San grab your hand gently. He placed the money in your hand. Before you could throw it back at him, he chugged the rest of his drink before walking away.

"See you around, angel."

You grumbled under your breath before shoving the money in your back pocket. You weren't going to say no if he wanted you to have it so bad.

"I don't need to warn you, do I?" Hongjoong warned. "I mean, he's a good friend of mine, but he doesn't have the best history when it comes to women."

"Don't worry. I've already been warned." You tell him. You didn't have any interest in him. You had too much on your plate to be worried about a guy.

"Good. I don't need my new partner quitting over a broken heart."

"Not a chance."

You kick a rock down the sidewalk. This was your weekend off of work, so you were able to spend the weekend studying for you finance test on Monday. You decided to take a small break and go get some food. Thankfully, you lived down the street from a convenience store. Perfect for a college student.

You pull the door open as you step inside the quite store. It was 11 at night, so the store was empty besides the cashier. You grab a basket and make your way down the aisles. After you had gotten everything you wanted, you made your way to the front of the store. You pay for your food before walking over the tables.

You pull out your phone out of your pocket as you heat up your food. You continue to watch a drama that you had gotten interested in while you eat your food. You were enjoying yourself. That was until someone sat in front of you.

"Hello, angel."

You look up to meet the dark eyes of San. You held the urge to roll your eyes as he sits his bag of food down. Out of all the chairs, why did he sit here?

It's been three weeks since you started working at the bar. Since then, San has bothered you every night since he met you. And by 'bothering' you, you meant he's been trying to ask you on a date. You spent the first week completely ignoring him, but that got tiring very quickly.

You had told Chae about this. She said something similar to Hongjoong. That you needed to be careful around him. But there was something that she also said that you couldn't forget. According to her, San doesn't chase after woman like he has with you. Most of the time when San asks someone out, they say yes. But on the rare occasion they say no, he will leave them alone. You have said no a total of 12 time. You counted, but he hasn't taken no for an answer. Maybe it's the fact that you aren't afraid to put up a fight.

"What are the odds?" You mumble as you continue watching your show.

San let you continue to watch your show as he set up his meal. You looked away from your screen as he concentrated on his food. Your eyes drifted to his lips as he bit it. You heard him chuckle as you meet his eyes. Instead of being embarrassed like San had thought, you held eye contact with him.

"Like what you see?"

You shook your head as you rubbed at your lips. "Your lips are really dry. You should fix that. Your side chicks wouldn't like that."

"Don't worry, angel. You're the only one." You roll your eyes at him. Of course, that's the only thing he would get out that. "You know what would make this even better?"

"Don't say it." You interrupt him.

"If this was a date." You roll your eyes as he ignores you.

"You wish."

"I do. I spend all of my time wishing you would go on a date with me." San told you.

"You're such a liar." You laugh at him.

"Just one date?" San asked.

"No thanks."

"Please."

"San."

"(Y/N)."

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes." He answered quickly.

"Just one date." You warn him.

"Unless you want more." He winked. Before you could respond to him, he interrupted you. "Just one date. If you don't enjoy it, I wound bug you again."

"Okay." You agree.

San pulled his phone out of his pocket. He pulled up the contacts before handing you the phone. You hesitated to give this man your phone number. Worst case scenario, you'll block him. You enter your number and send yourself a quick text. You hand his phone back to him.

"I'll let you know the next time I'm free." You tell him.

"You won't regret this, angel."

"I better not."

Due to your hectic schedule, it took almost two weeks before you and San could schedule your date. At first, he thought you were purposely pushing it back, but when you sent him a picture of your full color-coded schedule, he started to understand. It also made him admire you. You worked full time at a bar while you were a full-time student. San had tried that before, but he had failed. So, he understood partially. Until then, he was okay with texting you until your first date.

You also didn’t mind texting him. He wasn’t as annoying over text. He was very offended when you told him that. The more you texted, the more you got to know about him. The two of you were very similar. You both had a love for music, except you couldn’t sing for the life of you. That didn’t stop you though.

It was a Friday night that you scheduled your date. He had told you to dress casually. He had hinted at the idea of you wearing a dress, but you turned that down quickly. You still dressed cute though. Chae had whistled at you when you exited your room. She loved the fact that you were finally going on a date. She had tried to set you up many times before, but none of them have worked out. She did let you know how she had felt about it being San who you were going out with.

“Be careful.” She warned you.

“I will.” You assured her. “I’m just doing this to get him to leave me alone.”

“Okay. I just don’t want him to hurt you. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces. After I murder him.”

You laughed at your friend. “You watch to many crime shows.”

You grab your bag and phone before walking out the door when San had texted you stating that he was there. When you get outside, you see San in front of the building leaning on his car. When he sees you, a big smile covers his face. You smile at him as you stop in front of him.

"You look beautiful (Y/N)." He compliments you.

"Thank you. You look nice as well."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm trying to impress this cute girl I work with." San said as he opened the door for you. You slide in before he closes the door. He walks around to the other side and gets in.

"Do I know her?" You play along.

"You should." He answers. "It's hard to miss her. She looks like an angel."

"Alright Mr. Cheese. Where are we going?" San laughed at your response.

"It's a surprise." San winked at you.

"I hope it's a good one because I hate surprises." You tell him.

"It's a good one. I promise."

San starts the car and drives off. The two of you listen to music in silence while you drive to your date location. At least it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. That was until San spoke up.

"So (Y/N), if you could live anywhere, where would it be any why?"

You could help but burst out laughing. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I was trying to start a conversation with you." San laughed. He liked the sound of your laugh.

"I know that. I wasn't expecting a question like that." You told him.

"I may have looked up good conversation starters." San admitted. You looked at him to see if he was telling the truth. His red face gave it away. At least he was trying. You would give him that.

"I've never thought about it." You finally answered his question. "I would want to stay somewhere remote. Preferably in the mountains somewhere."

"Why the mountains?"

"I used to go on hikes with my parents when I was younger. We also camped a lot." You tell him.

"The Forrest kind of creeps me out." San says. "There's bears and stuff. I prefer the beach."

"There are sharks in the ocean." You chuckle when San huffs.

"You have a point."

"There's always a risk of danger when you go out into the world. Especially nature. I think that it's worth it."

San looked over at you. Beauty and brains. You weren't afraid to tell him your opinion, even when it didn't match with his. He appreciated that. It made conversations more interesting.

"Here we are."

You looked around. "Where are we?"

"My apartment." San answered. You looked at him skeptically.

"You brought me to your apartment?"

"Yes and no." He answered. "You have to trust me."

"Okay."

Both you and San got out of the car. San grabbed your hand as he guided you unto the building. He half expected you to let go of his hand, but when you didn't and held onto his hand, he felt his heart race. He really didn't want to mess this up. He had Seonghwa help him plan this since he was the only one who had a girlfriend.

The two of you waited for the elevator after San had hit the button. When the doors opened, you stepped in. San hit the button for the top floor.

"Do you live on the top floor?" You asked.

"No, I live on the third floor." San answered.

"Then why are we going to the top?"

"Patience angel."

The door opened and the two of you stepped out. San led you to the stair that led to the roof. San held the door open so you could walk through first. You held your hair back as a burst of cool wind blew around you. It was then you could see the beautiful view he had from his roof. Being able to see the stars without hearing the traffic was nice.

"Right this way, my lady." San's arm wrapped around your waist as he led you to your date spot.

On the other side of the staircase, there was a small gazebo. It was covered in string lights. There was a blanket laid out for you to sit on. Right in the middle of the blanket there was a picnic basket and some wine. There were also some blankets to cover yourself with. San remember when you told him that you get cold easily. He set out some pillows for you to sit on.

San watched your reaction. "Do you like it?"

"I do." You smiled at him. San let out the breath that he was holding.

"Then let’s eat."

The two of you sit down as San pulls out the food. He had one of your favorite foods that you had told him. He also had his favorite food. He also brought some snacks and wine glasses to drink the wine in.

The two of you had some small talk while the two of you ate. You made San pull up the website with those questions. You both answered a few of them. After you were done eating, you leaned back and covered yourself up.

"Earlier you said you went hiking with you parents, were you close with them?" San asked you.

"We were." You answered. "I was the only child, so the three of us hung out almost every weekend. They didn't want me being lonely."

"Are you still close?"

You shook your head. "Not anymore. As I got older, I didn't share the same values as my parents. They wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer, and I didn't."

"What did you want to be?" San asked.

"At that point I didn't know." You answered. "I took a couple different college classes when I found out I liked business and finance. My parents didn't like that when I told them. They said that either I go to school for what they want, or they didn't want to see me again."

"What did you end up doing?"

"I'm a bartender. What do you think?" You laugh. "It's been three years since I've seen them, but they'll message me every once in a while to make sure I'm not dead."

"I'm sorry." San apologized.

"Don't be. I had to do what was going to make me happy." You told him. "What about you and you parents?"

"We've always been close. Especially my sister and me. At first, they weren't the blighted fan of me singing. I did what they asked and have college a go, but I ended up flunking out. It was after that they gave me their blessing." You watched San as he told you about his family. You noticed while you two were similar, your backgrounds were completely different.

The two of you lost track of time up there. Around midnight, San brought you back home. He parked his car before getting out to meet you.

"I had a good time with you San." You confess.

"Enough for a second date." San asked hopefully.

"Maybe." You tease.

San finds himself leaning in. Against all of what you previously thought of him, you lean on as well. San cups your cheeks as his lips meet yours. It was a short and sweet kiss. When he pulls away, he leans his forehead on yours.

It was then you felt it. The pit in your stomach. The ugly thing you call anxiety. You weren't used to being intimate. You haven't had many boyfriends, and you were still a virgin. You knew that San wasn't. What if you didn't meet his expectations? What if he realized he didn't want you because of your lack of experience?

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" San noticed something was off when you pulled away from him. You weren't acting like this before the kiss. Did he do something wrong?

"Nothing. Um..." You trailed off as you lost your train of thought.

"If I did something wrong, you can tell me." San told you. You shook your head.

"It's not anything you did. Can we just... Can we take it slow?"

San blinked as he finally understood the situation. He felt bad for not understanding earlier. "We can go however slow or fast you want. I won't push you. And I will never make you do anything you're not comfortable with."

San watched you relax some. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." San interrupted.

"Thank you for tonight." You tell him.

"I'll text you in the morning." San tells you. You nod at him.

"Okay."

After the first date that San took you on, you agreed to another date. That second date turned into five dates. You didn’t want to admit it, but he was nothing like you first thought of him. He was kind to you, and he never made you uncomfortable in any way. You told him that you wanted to take it slow because of your lack of experience with guys and schoolwork. He respected that. He never pushed you. He always waited for you to make the first move. Then he would take the lead.

At first, you held yourself back. You were scared to get too involved with him just in case he was like you thought. But the longer you hung out with him, the more you found yourself letting go with him. San couldn’t hide his emotions well, that you learned early on. You could tell how happy he was when you opened up to him. He always listened to you with such an intensity in his eyes. Even when you were talking about boring things like your studies. He even asked questions. He never interrupted you. He made you feel cared for which was a new feeling with you. That also scared you.

Tonight, the two of you were hanging out at his apartment. You often hung out here because the two of you had privacy. You lived with Chae, and you loved her, but she was the nosiest person you knew. The first and last time you brought him over, Chae interrogated you for a solid three hours. You had to lock yourself in your room to get away from her. You also loved the view from his apartment. He didn’t live to far from the bar you worked at. The neon lights from the restaurants and bars were all you could see.

The two of you started out watching a movie. You ordered pizza that was left half eaten on the table. All was forgotten as you sat on San’s lap. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist as the two of you made out. This wasn’t how you planned on the night to go. But when San saw you putting on a new strawberry lip balm, he just couldn’t help himself. One quick kiss turned into this.

You felt yourself getting carried away the more you kissed him. And the more you kissed him, the more turned on you got. You wanted him so badly. You hoped that he felt the same. You ground your hips against San’s. You felt yourself becoming wet when San let out a deep groan. You also could feel him become hard against your bare leg.

San pulled away from you making you whine. He smiled before placing his forehead on yours. “Angel, if you don’t want to take things further, we need to stop.”

“What if I want to continue?”

“I would love nothing more, but are you sure?” San asked you. As happy as he was to finally have you, he wasn’t going to push you. He would wait for as long as you said. He knew that you were a virgin. He would be honored if you trusted him enough for him to be the one to take your virginity.

“I want to be yours.” You told him. His hands reached up to brush against your cheeks. He pulled you into a kiss. You grip the collar of his shirt as you pour all of your emotions into the kiss. He continued to brush your cheeks as he pulled away again.

“We can stop at any point.” San assured you.

When he was completely sure that this was what you wanted, he stood up with you in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he made his way to his bedroom. You felt your back hit the soft mattress as he laid you on his bed. You sit up on your elbows as you watch him remove his shirt. You rake your eyes down his body. He was very fit, which didn’t shock you. What did shock you were the nipple piercings. You felt your heart race as he stared at you.

“You like what you see?”

You lean up and grab his hand. “I’d like it better if you were on top of me.”

“You’re wish is my command.”

You lay back has San hovers over you. You wrap your arms around San’s neck as he pulls you into another kiss. You feel a shiver as San’s hand start to pull up your shirt, exposing your stomach. You break the kiss before lifting yourself up as he pulls your shirt over your head, leaving you in only a bra. You felt yourself blush as San admired you.

“So beautiful.”

San pressed a kiss to your red cheek before he slowly made his way down your body. You tilted your head as he kissed down your neck. San felt himself grow impossibly hard when you let out a soft moan as he sucked on your neck. He didn’t think he had heard a more beautiful sound. He wouldn’t mind hearing that for the rest of his life.

His hands brushed over your bra. You stiffened for a second before relaxing. He paused and looked up at you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You told him. “I’m just not used to having anyone touch me like this.”

He pressed his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. “You’re safe with me.”

“I know. I trust you.”

San felt his heart swell as you said that. He knew that he hadn’t had the best past with women. You knew that. That’s why it was so hard for you to open up to him. He was so glad you did. You were the most beautiful woman, inside and out. And he was going to spend the rest of your time together telling you that.

“Can I take this off?” His hands brushed your chest once again.

You didn’t flinch this time as you nodded your head. You lifted up your back some as his hands slid around your back as he unhooked your bra. He slid the bra down your arms before tossing it to the side. You felt yourself turn shy once again as your hands rested on top of your breasts. San noticed this. He kissed your cheek before speaking.

“You don’t have to hide from me.” He whispered. “Especially when you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You let him guide your arms to the side of the bed. When he looked down at your chest, he couldn’t help the smile that overcome his face. He laughed as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. You laughed along with him.

“I guess we really are made for each other, aren’t we?”

You had a matching set of nipple piercings. You went out partying one night with Chae and some other friends. After spending half the night drinking, someone had the idea of getting piercings. Some didn’t agree, but most did. That included you. You already had a few piercings in your ears, so you wanted something else. That’s when Chae said she was getting her nipple pierced. The two of you went in together and held each other’s hands as you got them. Once you saw them the new morning, you instantly regretted them. That was until you saw the way that San stared at them.

“I guess so.” You laugh.

San pulled away from your neck with one last kiss. He kissed his way down your chest. You jumped in shock when San placed your left nipple in his mouth, your hand instantly going into his hair. You let out a moan when he started to suck on your nipple. His other hand went up to play with the other nipple. You hadn’t felt anything like this before. San could tell how much you were enjoying it by the sounds you were making.

“Does my baby like that?”

You looked down to meet San’s eyes. They were filled with lust as he placed your other nipple in his mouth. You thought you would be uncomfortable looking into his eyes while you were being intimate, but it actually calmed you if that made any sense. It also turned you on even more if possible. You whimpered as San released your nipple with a loud ‘pop.’ He started to make his way down your body, kissing every inch his lips could reach.

“So soft.” You heard him mumble. Once he got to the hem of your bottoms, he looked up at you once again for permission. “May I?”

“Please.”

San unbuttoned your bottoms before sliding both them and your underwear down your legs. Before you could close your legs, San laid in between them. His lips caught yours in a passionate kiss. Your hands rested on his face as he kissed you. He held your lip between his teeth as he pulled away. As he let go of your lip, he placed a sweet kiss on your nose that had you smile.

“Are you ready for me to continue?” He asked you. You nodded your head at him, but he wanted you to actually answer him. “I want you to use your words, angel.”

“Please.”

“Please what?” San teased you.

“Please touch me.” You answered him. Gave you one last kiss before making his way between your legs. He places a kiss to your inner thigh as you try to relax.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” He placed more kisses to your inner thigh as he made his way to your heat. “Since the first time I laid my eyes on you, I’ve wanted you more than anything. I knew I had to make you mine. And now that you are, I’m never letting you go.”

He placed a kiss on your clit making you jump. You had never felt so sensitive down there. You could feel every breath as San watched your reaction to him. You looked beautiful. Your eyes scrunched shut as he licked a strip up your heat. The moan that came out of your mouth made him think he was in heaven.

You gripped the bedsheets as San started to suck on your clit. You felt yourself moan louder the more San pleasured you. As soon as you felt yourself getting lost in pleasure, San released your clit. A loud whine came out of your mouth as you opened your eyes.

“Why did you stop?”

“I’m sorry, angel.” He apologized, but the smirk on his face said otherwise. “I just wanted to prepare you.”

“Prepare me for what?” You asked.

“My fingers.” You gulped at his answer. San could see the fear in your eyes. “I going to take it slow. It may be uncomfortable at first.”

“What if it hurts?” You ask.

“If it hurts, you let me know, and I will stop, okay?” You nod at Sans answer. You watch him as he goes back to your heat.

You felt yourself relax as San continue to kiss and suck on your clit. You felt him shift, so you knew what was going to come next. You tried to stay relaxed as San enter one finger into you. You shifted at the feeling. It wasn’t painful, but it was slightly uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” San asked.

You nodded your head. “I’m okay. You can keep going.”

San watched your face as he started moving his finger in and out of you. He could tell that you were starting to enjoy it. Your mouth parted as a soft moan came from your lips. He decided to take it further.

“I’m going to add a second finger.” San warned you. You let out a small ‘okay.’

San continued to lick at your clit as he added a second finger. You threw your head back as he stretched you out. It felt oddly good. San continued to watch how you reacted. He could tell when you liked something by how loud your moans were. He continued to make sure he was only causing you pleasure, not pain.

“Does it feel good?”

“S-So good.” You moan out. You could barely talk because of the pleasure. You felt him enter a third finger causing you to moan again. It wasn’t long before you felt a familiar pit in your stomach. “San, I’m close.”

“I know baby. Go ahead and cum. I’ve got you.”

You arch your back as San sucks even harder on your clit. Between that and his fingers pumping out of you, you reached your climax. You griped his hair as you moaned out his name. San almost felt like he could climax just from watching you orgasm. The way your eyes scrunched up. Your head was thrown back as his name came from your lips repeatedly. He would never forget the image.

San pulled his fingers from you as you came down from your high. You watched as he placed his fingers in his mouth before sucking them clean. When he released his fingers from his mouth, you grabbed his neck before pulling him to you. Your lips crashed in a messy kiss. You could taste him on you as you continued to kiss him, which wasn’t as disgusting as you thought it would be.

“How did that feel?” San asked as he pulled away from you.

“Amazing.” You answer still out of breath.

You run your hands down his chest as you make your way to the bulge in his jeans. His head falls onto your shoulder as he lets out a moan when you start palming him through his jeans. You were barely touching him, and he felt like he was going to cum. It was when you started to undo his pants that he stopped you.

“Not tonight.” He told you. “Tonight, is all about you. We can do that another time, okay?”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You could see how much he was straining in his jeans. He placed his hands on your cheeks as he raised your face to meet his in a kiss.

“All I want is to be inside of you.”

You blushed at his words. “Okay.”

You laid there as San got up from the bed. You weren’t ashamed as you watched him unbutton his pants. His length jumped out as he pulled his pants down his legs. You felt yourself almost moan at the sight of him. You had never seen someone so beautiful.

“How are you from this world?” You question. You smile as you finally made him blush for a change.

“You can’t just say things like that out of nowhere.”

“Well, it’s the truth.” You tell him. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

San sits on the side of the bed as he pulls you into another kiss. While he kisses you, he reaches over to his bedside table. He opens it and pulls out a condom. He pulls away from you for a second before opening the packet and sliding the condom on. He lays in between your legs once again as he kisses you. You stiffen when you felt his length brush against your heat. San pulled away before looking at you.

“Do you want to keep going? We can stop right now. I won’t be upset.” San assured you. You could tell he meant that, but you didn’t want to stop. You meant it when you said you wanted to be his.

“I don’t want to stop.”

“Are you sure?” He asked again.

“I am. Just be gentle.” You laughed. San kissed your cheek as he promised he would.

He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist. “I need you to relax for me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay.” You nod at him. He waits until you relax some before he continues.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

San lines himself up at your entrance. He waits before you nod your head at him before he slowly pushes into you. You clench around him as he stretches you. You burry you head into his neck. San continues to ask if you’re okay, even though your answer is the same every time. You’re finally able to relax enough for him to insert himself the rest of the way in.

He kisses your forehead as you try to adjust to him. “You’re doing so good, angel.”

“I don’t know about that, but thanks for the compliment.” He chuckles at your response. Even if you were in pain, you were still cracking jokes. You pull away from his neck and give him a kiss. His hand goes to the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss. As he kisses you, he feels you relax around him. You pull away and lay your head back on the pillow. “You can move now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

San pulls himself back before slowly thrusting into you. It didn’t hurt as much then at first. The more he continued, the better it got. It went from pain, to an uncomfortable feeling, and finally to pleasure. Even if it was torture for San to go so slow, he would until you told him otherwise. He could tell it was starting to get better for you by the way your fingernails dug into his back.

“San?” You get his attention.

“Yes, my baby.” San looks at you.

“Can you go faster?”

“As you wish.”

This time San buries his head into your neck as he speeds up. He was trying to hold off for you, but he didn’t know if he could. You felt so good wrapped around him. And the moans that were coming out of your mouth weren’t helping him.

“You feel so good baby. I don’t know how long I’m going to last.” San groaned when you clenched around him.

You could tell that he was close because his speed picked up. You knew he couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t used to going slow, but you didn’t mind the speed up. As long as he didn’t mind the marks on his back from you.

“San, I’m close.” You moan out.

“Me to baby.” San’s hand made his way down your body. Your body jolted as his hand rubbed at your clit. You let out a loud moan as he brought you over the edge. “Cum for me.”

You threw your head back as you came to your climax. San was right behind you as he finally got his release. He sloppy thrusted into you as the two of you came down from your highs. San laid his head on your shoulder as he pulled out of you. You moan at the loss.

San was careful to not put all of his weight on you as he collapsed on you. You didn’t seem to mind as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You started to play with the hair on the back of his neck as the two of you laid in silence. That was until you spoke up.

“Thank you.”

He lifted his head up to look at you. “Thank me for what?”

“For being my first.” You answer. “I couldn’t have imagined it going anymore perfect than that.”

San felt his heart swell as he placed a kiss on your lips. You responded instantly. When he pulled back, you could feel a new emotion that you haven’t felt before. One that scared you.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

San felt his eyes widen as you confessed that to him. He then whined when he realized what you said. “I wanted to be the first one to confess.”

“Way to ruin the moment.” You laugh. San gasped at you.

“I ruined the moment?”

“Just a little.” You hold your hand up with your fingers almost touching.

“Take that back.”

“Make me.” You smile. You let out a scream as San’s hands tickle your side. You slap his hands as you try to make him stop tickling him.

“Take it back.”

“Okay!” San’s hands freeze for a moment. He leaned close to you.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“You didn’t ruin the moment.” You smile at him. He placed a kiss on your cheek as the two of you catch your breaths.

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.”

You pull your hair out of your clip as you walk in the locker room. Tonight, was one of the nights that Purple Kiss didn't perform. San wasn't the biggest fan of it. Since the two of you slept together, he didn't like you being at work without him. You brushed him off saying that you knew how to take care of yourself.

He begged you to let him at least come pick you up, but you told him no. You had a test in the morning, and you didn't need any distractions. San understood that, but he wasn't happy. He sent you a pouty face just to make sure you knew.

When you walk to your locker, you furrow your eyes. The lock that was on your locker was cut off and was laying on the floor. You rush over and open your locker. You dig through your bag. Your phone, wallet, and car keys are still in the bag. Nothing was stolen, so why did someone cut the lock? It was then you saw it.

There was a package laying on the bottom of the locker. You picked it up and opened it. Out of it fell a USB and a note that said play me.

"This is some horror movie level shit." You mumble. "Oh well."

You throw the package in your bag before slamming your locker shut. Watching that could wait until tomorrow after your test. And it did because you forgot about it.

You were lounging on the couch doing schoolwork and watching Gossip Girl when Chae come into the apartment. As she fixed herself a bowl of cereal, she turned to you.

"Didn't you want to show me something?"

You looked at her in confusion until it hits you. "Oh. Look at this."

You explained to her how your lock had been cut at work and how you found the package inside. You watched her as she opened the package.

"This is something you'd find in a horror movie."

"That's what I said." You told her. "Wanna watch it together?"

"Hell yeah I do."

You saved your schoolwork before closing it out. You put in the USB. On it was only one thing.

"The real San? Maybe it's one of his stalker exs." Chae told you.

"Only one way to find out."

You click on the video. The screen was black, but there was audio. You could clearly make out San and Wooyoung arguing.

"Have you seen the new girl?" San asked.

"The one that's out of your league?" Mingi responds. You could hear Wooyoung laughing before you're assuming San hit him.

"Why would you say that?"

"Seonghwa's girl said that she was way too smart for me." Wooyound said. He wanted you as well. You couldn't figure out why though. The girls that threw themselves at them were more attractive than you.

"So?"

"You have a worst track record than I do with women."

"She's different though." San told him.

"Which is why she would never go for you." Mingi told him.

"You know you guys are supposed to be my friends, right?"

"We are." Wooyoung said. "We're just being honest."

"I think you're wrong." San said. You paused the video before looking at Chae. It seems like she had the same idea you did.

"Is this going where I think it's going, is it?" You ask.

"I really hope not." Chae answers. "I really thought San changed because of you."

You hit play on the video hoping that the two of you were wrong.

"You know what this mean?" Wooyoung says. "A bet."

"Really?" San asked.

"You have one month to sleep with her."

"And if not?"

"You owe me $500." Your eyes widened at Wooyoung's statement. Is that why San tried so hard to get you to go out with him? You felt like you were going to be sick.

"Let's be fair." Mingi said. "You have to let him get a first date before the timer starts."

"Are you in on the too, Mingi?" Wooyoung asked.

"Yes, but I don't think he's going to even get a first date."

"I don't even know why you bet on these things Mingi. You always lose." Wooyoung said.

"Shut the hell up."

"Alright. Winner gets one grand. You in San?"

Please say no.

"You're on."

Chae closes the laptop as the video ends. You stare at your lap, playing with a string on your shirt. You felt your eyes burn with unshed tears.

"You can say I told you so. I won't be mad." You tell her.

"Come here."

When Chae pulled you into a hug, you let out a sob as you cried into her shoulder. She held onto you tight.

"I feel like an idiot."

"He's the idiot if he didn't realize what he was doing." Chae told you.

"I slept with him Chae." Chae eyes widened at your statement. She knew how important losing your virginity to the right person was to you. "I told him I loved him."

"I'm going to kill him." Chae threatened. She couldn't just sit around and what you cry over some guy who didn't deserve it. She's going to make sure he regrets ever talking to you. She's going to make his life a living hell.

"You're going to have to beat me to it." You tell her.

"Well, I did just watch this good documentary on how to properly hide a body without getting caught." You laughed at Chae's statement. You pulled back and wiped your face. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to confront him." You answer. "After I pull myself together."

You put the USB and paper back in the envelope before taking a long, warm shower. You do what you said and pull yourself together. You put on some makeup and a cute outfit. He didn't deserve to see your tears. He doesn't deserve to see how much he hurt you.

"Kick his ass for me!" Chae yells as you leave the apartment.

You make the drive over to his place. You weren't sure if he was home or not. You had his spare key though, so you would just wait. You had half the thought of being petty and trashing his apartment. You knock on his door and wait a minute. The door opens revealing a half-asleep San. His smile bright when he sees it's you.

"Angel." He pulls you into a hug. He places a kiss on your cheek before pulling back. "What did I do to be blessed with your presence?"

You roll your eyes as you pull the envelope out of your bag. "Something happened at work last night, and I wanted to show you."

"Did someone hurt you? You should've let me come-"

"Calm down. No one hurt me." You interrupted him. "Except for you."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." You smiled. "Anyway, my locker was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but I found this."

You hand the envelope. He opens it before looking at you. "What is this?"

"A video that I want you to watch." You answer.

San looks at you questionably. You weren't acting like your normal self. You were shutting yourself off from him like you did when you first met. But he did what you asked and played the video on his laptop. You didn't move as you watched him. As the video ended, San reacted similar to you and just stared at the black screen.

"Let me help you out here." San looked at you when you started speaking. "(Y/n), let me explain. This isn't what it looks like."

"I'm sorry." San told you.

"I don't want an apology. I want an explanation." You raise your voice. "Was I a fucking bet?"

"At first yes." San said. That was all you needed to know as you turned to leave. "But I told them I didn't want to be a part of it anymore."

"And I'm supposed to believe you?"

"It's the truth." San told you. "After the first date, I realized that you were some one-night stand. I wanted to get to know you. The more I found out, the more I fell for you. Nothing I ever told you was a lie."

"Our whole relationship is a fucking lie!" You yell at him. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

San was quiet for a moment which answered your question. You run your hand through your hair as you blow out a frustrated sigh.

"I should have listened to everyone when they said to stay away from you."

"(Y/N)-"

"I never want to see you again."

"Please don't do this." San begged. You could see the tears start to form in his eyes. "I love you."

"You should've thought about that before you broke my heart."

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this? I can still pick up your shift.”

“Chae, I need the money.”

It has been almost a week since you had your breakup with San. You were trying to heal from the whole thing, but San was making it very hard. First it was phone calls. Then it was texts. You ended up blocking him on everything possible, but he still would give up. He never showed up to your place which you were grateful for. You know you couldn’t avoid him completely since he performs where you work, but you were still going to try. He did; however, send some sort of apology gift every day. Flowers and food would be at your doorstep every morning. He was persistent you would give him that.

“How much longer do you have?”

“2 months.”

You were so close to graduating. But in order to graduate, your fees had to be paid. Paying that on top of rent and bills had you struggling a lot. You and Chae go half on paying rent. You were even able to pay your half this month. Chae said that it was okay because she knew how hard you were working, but you still felt bad. You just needed to hold up for two more months. You know this wouldn’t be the end of your money issues, but it would help. You already had a job lined up for after graduation.

You looked at the time on the wall. “I’ll talk to you when I get home.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You threw your phone in your locker before slamming it shut. You open the new lock you had bought and placed in on the locker. Hopefully this time someone wouldn’t break into it. You didn’t have much to lose at this point either.

You start your normal routine of pulling your hair up before walking out of the locker room. It was quiet at the moment since the bar had another hour before it opened. Hongjoong had texted you earlier asking if you would because he was having some car trouble. You told him that you would come in early to set up the bar. Especially when he said that he would do his best to keep San away from you.

You listen to the DJ setting up his playlist as you polished the drink glasses all while you ignored the security guards. You knew that they were friends of San’s. You didn’t know if they knew, but by the way they were looking at you, San told them. You didn’t want any questions.

You were almost done setting up the bar when someone past you. You turn to see Hongjoong with a towel finishing up the glasses. You give him a smile which he returned.

“New hair, Papa Smurf?”

“You know. I had some mild life change, so I decided to change up my look.” You let out a laugh at his reason for dying his hair. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great.” You lie. He looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“The truth please.”

“What do you want me to say? I found out my first love only got with me for a bet. I can’t even afford my tuition anymore. And I have to make an A on my next exam, or I’m not even going to graduate.”

The two of you jumped when loud music started playing. People were starting to be let into the bar. Hongjoong couldn’t respond to you as people started to line. You put on a fake smile as you started to serve people their drinks.

You heard the familiar screams of the crowd, so you knew what was coming. You took a deep breath as you willed yourself not to look up and to keep serving. You didn’t know what would happen if you looked at San. Would you get sad and cry? Or would you get angry and yell at him?

You bobbed your head to the music as you polished some glasses. You get a small break while Purple Rose performs because everyone wants to watch them. You felt someone staring at you, so you looked up. You made the mistake of looking up towards the stage. Your heart dropped as you made eye contact with San. He was looking at you the whole time. His eye contact never waivered even after you looked at him. He wanted you to know that you were the only person he wanted. Even if you didn’t want him anymore.

“Hey, Princess!” You turn to see Yeosang standing next to a new guy with black hair. You smile wide as you walk over.

“What can I get for you sweetheart?” You question. Yeosang motions to the new guy next to him.

“This is Jihoon. I’m training him.”

“Hello Jihoon. I’m (Y/N).” You hold your hand out for him. He shakes your hand mirroring your smile.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Tell her what we need.” Yeosang nudges him.

“Um, a round of tequila shots.”

“Coming right up.” You walk off to fulfill the order. You come back with a tray full of tequila shots and lemons. They had salt at the table, so you didn’t have to get any. You hand the tray to Jihoon before sending them off.

“Thank you.”

You get back to working completely ignoring San singing. You didn’t want to look at him again. You just wanted to forget him. Why was that so hard? He hurt you, so why do you still love him?

You didn’t notice that the band had finished playing until Hongjoong had pushed you to his side of the bar. You didn’t realize why until you saw San walk up to where he normally stands next to you. You watched the two argue before someone got your attention.

You something wet hit your arm causing you to look. Some guy had spilt his beer all over the bar, you, and some girl. The girl shrieks before walking off to what you assume is the bathroom. You grab a wet towel and start to clean up the mess. That was until the drunk man grabbed your wrist.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing behind the bar?”

“What the fuck do you think?” You question. “Working. Now let me go.”

You try to yank your arm away from him, but he had a tight grip on you. One that was starting to hurt.

“I can show you a better way of making money. Especially with a body like that.”

“You wish. Let me go.”

You motioned for security to escort him out. That was until you saw a flash of black fly towards the man. You watch in shock as San punches the man so hard, he fell out of his seat. People gathered around as they watched San repeatedly punch the guy. Security and Red arrived and pulled San off of him. Security pulled the drunk guy out of the bar while Red yelled at San.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“He was assaulting your employee.” San yelled back at him. You looked down as the two men looked at you. Red started to understand why San had become so violent, but he still couldn’t have something like this happening in his bar.

“That’s why we have security guards.” Red told him. “My office now.”

Red shoved San as he didn’t want to listen at first. San looked at you one last time hoping that you would look back at him, but you didn’t. Your eyes stayed glued to the ground. That was until Hongjoong got your attention. He watched you nod at him before walking off for a break. He waited until you went to a safe area before walking off with Red.

You make your way to the employee bathroom. You turn on the cold water before splashing your face with it, trying to calm yourself down. You don’t understand why San was acting like this. He shouldn’t be acting hurt when he was the reason all of this happened. Even if he was regretful, he couldn’t change what he did. The only reason why he talked to you was for a bet. You knew that could’ve changed somewhere along the way. He could’ve ended things after you slept together, but he didn’t. He stayed with you for 3 weeks after that.

After drying off your face and sitting in the locker room for a good 10 minutes, you got up to continue your job. You pat Hongjoong on the back as you past him letting him know you were okay. You continued to put on a brave face as you served people for the rest of your shift. Last call was an hour later. Everyone got their last drinks before you two started to clean the bar. As you were cleaning, you heard someone clear their voice from behind you. You both turn to see Red standing there.

“You mind if I borrow you for a moment?” Red asked you. You turn to look at Hongjoong. You didn’t want him to clean up by himself.

“Go. I’ll handle it.”

You took at deep breath as you followed Red to his office. He opens the door letting you enter first. You sit in the chair in front of the desk while he sits behind it. You decided to speak first.

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Red told you. “It wasn’t your fault, but someone does have to deal with the consequences.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“You know my rules. No fighting in my bar. Now, do I fire the guy who makes me money? Or the girl who I pay to work here?” Your heart dropped at his questions. He can’t fire you. You need this job.

“Please don’t.” You plead. “I need this job.”

Red looked unbothered as he shrugged his shoulders. “Not my problem.”

Red pulled out an envelope and handed it to you. You opened it to see your paycheck. You scoff as you look back up at him. He really was firing you for something you didn’t even do. You stood up from his chair as you made your way out of his office. Red said something as you opened the door.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

You turn to look at him. “Go fuck yourself.”

You slam the door shut before you walk to the locker room. You hurry over to your locker before pulling your stuff out. You were going to let anyone in this bar see you cry. You could hold it in until you got to your car. You throw your bag over your shoulder as you exit the building. You walk over to your car but stop when you see who’s leaning on the driver’s side.

“What do you want?”

San turned to look at you. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he.”

“No. I’m pretty sure the only one hurting me is you.” You respond. San’s shoulders dropped as you said that.

“Can we talk? Please.”

“I thought me blocking you was my answer to that.”

“You know me. I’m stubborn.”

“That you are.” You tell him. “Let me start by asking you something.”

San looked excited to talk to you. “Ask me anything.”

“Why do you keep hurting me?” You ask him. You could see him deflate when you ask him that.

“Angel, you have to understand that hurting you was something I never wanted to do.”

“But you did, and you keep doing it.” You blink, feeling the tears hit your cheeks. “Using me enough apparently. You got me fired San.”

“What?” He looked at you shocked.

“Someone had to pay for your stupid actions, and once again it was me.”

“I didn’t- Why would he do that?” San questioned. You shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

“I know you’re struggling. Let me help you.”

“No, San.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Please leave me alone. I’m begging you.”

“Is that really what you want?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” San sighed. You could see his tears match yours. “I won’t contact you again. But just know that I never lied to you, not once. Especially when I say I love you. And that won’t change.”

“Goodbye San.”

“Goodbye Angel.”

[jungwnies]

𝐬𝐚𝐧 ― 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

𝐀 = affection (how affectionate is he? how often does he show affection?)

san is quite affectionate. he never fails to show his love through hugging or having some sort of physical touch with you. not only that but he also tends to get you things while he’s out and surprise you but his main form of showing affection is hugging you and smiling around you. you know he’s happy and comfortable when he’s touchy and smiley.

𝐁 = beginning (what would he be like as a bsf; how would the friendship start?)

he would be such a good best friend. he’s always doing his best to make sure you’re happy and he’s your shoulder to lean on. he’s always there for you and he has never once left your side; even in arguments he is still there. the friend would most likely start because a random conversation sparked up; something about san radiates “im gonna talk to this person in line” and while he’s in line waiting to get whatever it is he starts a conversation with you and from there you guys exchanged numbers and became friends.

𝐂 = cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how would he cuddle?)

yes; he loves to cuddle. he is little a cuddle bug as much as he won’t verbally admit it everyone knows it once they feel his arms wrap around him. his touch is warm and his hug is quite inviting

𝐃 = domestic (does he want to settle down; how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

yes, yes, and yes. he wants to have a family so bad. he wants to marry and settle down sooo bad. he loves the thought of having something so precious and having something that is only his. he’s not bad at keeping things tidy and making some foods but there’s always room for improvement.

𝐄 = ending (if he had to break up with you; how would he do it?)

oh man, this is hard. this would be a tough pill to swallow; the thought of even mentioning breaking up breaks him. he would approach you in person and tell you everything and why.

𝐅 = fiance (how does he feel about commitment; would he want to get married quick?)

he loves the thought of it; but he wouldn’t want to rush anything.

𝐆 = gentle (how gentle is he; emotionally + physically?)

he’s super gentle. his touch is gentle, the way he treats you is gentle, he cares about you so much and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

𝐇 = hugs (does he likes hugs; how often does he hug you; what are his hugs like?)

all the time, i see san as someone who constantly craves physical touch so any time he gets to receive or give you a hug he’s going to take the chance; his hugs are warm and always inviting he’s never made you feel as if his hugs were nothing

𝐈 = i love you (how fast does he say he loves you?)

it takes him a while to confess his love; it's not that he doesn't love you but he wants the timing to be right; he would be completely shattered if he said it too soon that you don't like him enough to love him.

𝐉 = jealousy (how jealous does he get; what does he do when he is jealous?)

he is super jealous; he might even the epitome of jealous and possessive. he loves you in a way where you wouldn't want someone else and albeit he knows that he can't help but think that someone is going to want YOU; you are godly in his eyes so when he sees someone trying to hit on you he immediately grabs onto your hand and places a kiss on your lips.

𝐊 = kisses (what are his kisses like; where does he like to kiss you; where does he like to be kissed?)

lips, neck, somewhere on the upper body to be honest; he likes to leave soft longing kisses on your neck, especially when he's needy he will leave kisses on you; he likes to be kissed on his lips, he will pucker his lips in front of you and wait for a kiss.

𝐋 = little ones (how is he around children?)

i think he's good with children; but you wouldn't want him around children 24/7 because THAT might be a disaster

𝐌 = morning (how are mornings spent with him?)

he seems to be the type who wakes up early; if he's feeling energized then he will make breakfast; but sometimes he'll wake up, cuddle you a little closer and fall back asleep :')

𝐍 = night (how are nights spend with him?)

he sleeps well; some nights he's restless while some nights he's out like a light. he often keeps a show playing in the background or maybe even some white noise or some chill piano music in the background.

𝐎 = open (when would he open up; does he say everything at once or does he wait to reveal himself?)

he's not quick to open up; he takes awhile to open up but when he does he doesn't realize that he's telling you things about his life he's never told anyone. he doesn't say everything at once but things piece together as the relationship goes on.

𝐏 = patience (how easily angered is he?)

he's easily angered if you push the right buttons but he's usually pretty calm and willing to talk through any problems; although he often pretends to be angry when he's really not.

𝐐 = quizzes (how much would he remember about you; does he remember every little detail; or is he forgetful?)

he remembers everything from the little things to the big things he remembers EVERYTHING.

𝐑 = remember (what is his favorite moment in the relationship?)

he loves the moments where everything is just smiles and joy; the smile he gives you where his eyes are barely open and his cheeky smile is the brightest thing in the world. his sweet smile along with you sweet laugh that sounds like music to him is his favorite moment.

𝐒 = security (how protective is he; how does he protect you; how would he like to be protected?)

he is super super super super duper pooper super protective; he protects you by keeping you close but also reminding you that he will always pick you over himself; he doesn't feel the need to be protected but he feels safest when he's with you in general.

𝐓 = try (how much effort does he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he just wants you to be happy but he doesn't put his full effort into his dates; he's more of a let's see how the day goes kinda guy but on anniversaries he will go the extra mile without a doubt

𝐔 = ugly (what are some of his bad habits?)

his possessive might get the best of him at times but it's not too bad; albeit he can get quite annoying sometimes.

𝐕 = vanity (how concerned is he with his looks?)

he does not care an ounce of what he looks like; as long as he looks good in your eyes he is perfectly fine <3

𝐖 = whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

honestly, no. i don't think he's the type of guy who would rely on someone to feel complete since he wants to eliminate any chance of heart break or attachment.

𝐗 = xtra (random headcanon for him)

although he can be possessive and sometimes annoying he is undoubtedly the best boyfriend ever; he is the sweetest boyfriend and the cutest little love bug ever.

𝐘 = yuck (what are some things he wouldn't like; in general or in a partner?)

i don't think he would want someone who is inconsiderate or arrogant

𝐙 = zzz (what are his sleeping habits?)

i feel like he's the type of guy to sleep in like a full set of pajamas but he's also the type of guy who like... lightly snores ㅠㅠ

© 2022 ilyeonjns ― do not steal or repost

[sadienita]

you asked atz to send you reminders to drink water

hongjoong: okay i know its like 8pm but i just remembered that i havent had a sip of water all day so you probably need some too. go have some water.

seonghwa: Hi love ❤️ Please remember to drink some water soon! I love you!

yunho: Love Bug! It's 🥤 time! Please make sure to take care of yourself.

yeosang: betting you have yet to have any water today... js

san: ITS 🌊 🌊 TIME YOU THIRSTY lovely and respectable lady haha i love you so much ❤️ also i have def been drinking enough water dont check my water bottle tho

mingi: ahhhh i was going to send this 20 minutes ago!! i'm sorry i forgot 😔😔please have some water bb! I'll be on time for the next one. I promise!

wooyoung: r u 🥵 🥵 🥵 u need sum 💦 💦 💦 💦

jongho: Hey sweetie, it's time for some water. Also don't forget you've gotta take some meds with it too. I'm coming over with dinner tonight. ❤️ you

[seonghwaddict]

music to my ears — choi san PART THREE OF LILO'S 600 FOLLOWER EVENT

requested by anon. “congrats on 600 lovely !! <3 fluff list 2: “you wouldn’t, uh, maybe, want to stay the night, would you? i just really don’t want today to end.” & smut list 4: ❛ i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do. ❜ with san would be 🫠🫠” lilo’s notes. thank you for the request anon!! i agree this is an absolutely amazing request and the prompts are just *chefs kiss*. that being said, i had to change them very slightly (like one or two words) just to fit the scenario a bit, i hope you don’t mind. <33

prompts. “you wouldn’t, uh, maybe, want to stay the night, would you? i just really don’t want today to end.” ; “i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do.” pairing. choi san x fem!reader

warnings. smut below the cut, minors please dni, soft dom!san, soft sex, body worship, fuckbuddy!san, minimal dirty talk, praise, p in v, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this irl), nicknames (baby, love), slight overstimulation, aftercare, a lot of softness. wc. 1.7k.

he was supposed to be a one night stand, a stranger you’d have some fun with and then forget about later.

what he was not supposed to be was a repeated cycle of waking up in his bed. but that’s exactly what san became. you weren’t exactly sure how to describe your relationship with him—friends with benefits? no, you didn’t really talk enough about your personal lives to consider him close to you in any other way than physical. fuck buddy? that was definitely more fitting, but something about it still felt off.

after the first night you spent together, you were intrigued, eager to find out everything he could do but had not yet shown you. so, before you left in the morning, you grabbed a pen and paper from his desk and wrote down your number and name (you couldn’t even remember his name so you doubted you ever gave him yours).

it didn’t take him too long to contact you. only a week later and you received a text message where he introduced himself. once you were reminded of who he was, you couldn’t suppress your excitement at the prospect of seeing him again. you were completely right about his intentions for it was only a few messages later that he threw in the information that he was stressed and could really use relief. you were happy to assist him.

your little adventures in his sheets quickly became something constant in your life, seeing him every couple days. soon enough you figured out you were both std free, so you let him go in without protection. the pleasure of it all never really left either of you with a desire to sleep with anyone else, since you didn’t have to worry about diseases or pregnancy (thanks to you being on the pill). and after the first night, you stopped leaving as soon as you woke up while he was still fast asleep, and with each encounter you’d find yourself staying just a bit longer each time. san was always very sweet, though his personality in bed was a bit unpredictable.

sometimes he was merciless, pounding into you at an ungodly speed while he whispered the filthiest things into your ear. other times, like now for instance, he’d be gentle, taking his time with your body, hands and lips ghosting over sensitive areas and mapping them out.

he already made you cum three times and by the time he finally entered you, you were quivering with overstimulation but still eager to continue. one of his hands had your wrists crossed and pinned over your head while the other trailed all over your body, gently teasing before he held your thighs together and bent them over your chest, his hips rolling against you sensually.

he knew your body well, knew what angles got your head spinning and what touches got your pussy gushing. occasionally he let out groans, but he was rarely too focused on his own release, keen on making sure you felt good. this particular position was a favourite of yours, it helped him reach inside you deeper and it increased the tightness around his cock, stimulating both of you in the most delicious way.

“you know,” his tone was soft, almost as if he were talking to you while reading a newspaper over breakfast and not fucking you. “you’re always so pretty for me.”

san leaned down and pressed featherlight kisses to the back of your calves, trailing them down to the back of your knees and causing a stampede of butterflies you forcefully swallowed. the pace of his thrusts was almost frustratingly slow, making you feel how his length filled you so thoroughly.

his hands grasped the back of your thighs and moved your legs carefully, to hook them around his waist. when he was fucking you like this, with this gentleness, he liked missionary. he liked it because it gave him a clear view of how your face contorted with the pleasure only he can provide you with. because he could lean down and kiss you and swallow all your moans.

“o-oh san…” you whimpered against his lips as he gave a sharp thrust different from all the other ones.

in response, he bit your lip and pulled it slightly before releasing it. san brushed his fingers over your cheekbone as he leaned his face back to watch the muscles of your face twitch and go slack. “hm, did you like that, baby? your sounds are like music to my ears. all your whimpers and moans, i never want to stop hearing them.”

you felt your nails digging into his biceps as he increased his pace just a bit, the contrast between his sudden roughness and the featherlight touches of his hands sliding up and down your glistening body making your head spin. he hummed, his eyes rich with all kinds of emotions as they surveyed the moaning mess you were.

“i love that no one else gets to see you like this.” he angled his hips a little differently so his whole cock dragged along your most sensitive spots. he reached one of his hands down to let his thumb circled your swollen, abused clit. “that no one else gets to feel you or be inside you. they don’t get to have you… but i do.”

something about the way he whispered those words so possessively. it sent your mind reeling and had your walls clenching around him tightly as another orgasm washed over you. your body shook and writhed beneath him, overwhelmed for a moment. you opened your mouth in a silent moan, but his hand moved to your chin to nudge it shut so he could finish with his own groans muffled against you.

a little after that, he pulled out of you, both of you shuddering as he collapsed on top of you with his head between your breasts. san’s hands traced from your shoulder to your hands, holding them as if they were delicate and could break at any second, his hazy mind calming down as he listened to your heartbeat and felt the rise and fall of your chest. when you squeezed his hands, he sat up slightly dropping your right hand to hold onto your left one with both of his. he brought it up to his face and kissed your palm.

you let him, watching him silently as your cheeks warmed with heat and your stomach stirred with something other than arousal. he placed heartfelt pecks against your palm before he moved his lips to press more pecks on the inside of your wrist and then up your arm, all the way until he got to your shoulder. there, he lifted his lips, but not for very long as he placed a kiss against the spot over your heart and then continued travelling upwards. his tender kisses littered your neck and cheek until, finally, he pressed a firm kiss to your lips.

you shivered and held him close, not quite processing how intimate all of this was. but soon enough, he got up from the bed and returned with a fresh pair of boxers on and a wet towel. he took ahold of your ankles and pulled you to the edge of the bed so your knees hang off it. spreading your knees apart, he kneeled on the ground, eye level with the area he intended to clean.

as he wiped away all the cum and arousal, you twitched every now and then, stinging from the slight overstimulation. whenever you flinched, he’d pull his hand back and glance up at you, not continuing until he saw your discomfort eased. occasionally he’d press his lips against the inside of your thighs and your kneecaps, mumbling sweet words against them.

“you did so well, just relax now, love.” “does this feel okay, it’s not too much, is it?”

once he was done, san took the panties he had haphazardly tossed away from the bed and slid them up your legs, patting your hips once he got them on you. figuring you’d be cold, he also grabbed a shirt from his closet, slipping his hand under your back to help you sit up (though you weren’t that exhausted, but who were you to complain?) and dressing you in the soft, grey material. 

when you woke up the next morning, you were facing each other, legs tangled under the sheets. he was already awake, absentmindedly tracing shapes on the skin of your waist under the shirt as he looked at you. there a warm smile spread itself onto his face when he noticed you were awake. his hand moved to the small of your back and drew you closer, holding you tightly and kissing your forehead.

briefly you considered asking what he saw you as. sure, after you slept together he’d usually be very affectionate. but something was different last night; the lingering kisses, the intimacy, the shockingly affectionate tenderness of his eyes. you pushed those thoughts away. there was no way he thought of you the way you thought of him.

still, a part of your soul couldn’t help but stay hopeful as he hesitantly uttered his next words.

“you wouldn’t, uh, maybe, want to stay for the rest of the day, would you? i just really don’t want this to end.”

you stopped yourself from cooing at his nervousness, nodding slowly. “i’d love to stay.”

“good.”

a beat of silence followed that, neither of you sure of what to say next. it was an awkward or uncomfortable silence, it was calm. the few rays of sunlight that got past his curtains provided the room with a soft glow, the pair of you engulfed by the warmth of the blanket.

he brought your hand up to his face and, much like the night before, pressed a kiss to your palm and then your wrist. the sensation left tingles on your skin and your breath hitched, something he took note of with a smirk.

“can i have my hand back yet?” you asked jokingly, your chuckle ringing through his ears.

“hmmm,” he nipped at your wrist, “no.”

[ networks . . . ] @cromernet @blankjournal

[ perm taglist . . . ] @ad0rechuu @sankatchu

[whimsyeo]

norman f*cking rockwell

જ⁀➴ jeong yunho x fem!reader (ft. san)

❝love, as you knew it, began and ended with yunho. ❞

wc; 2.7k

cw; angst, infidelity, unhealthy relationship, crying, insecurity, slightest bit suggestive towards the end

🎧 norman fucking rockwell, pretty when you cry, national anthem, cinnamon girl, shades of cool by ldr

Jeong Yunho was a dream.

You often wondered, especially in the beginning, how you could ever be so lucky. Thought, why in the world had he noticed you in a room full of people with so many others much closer to him in status. Although three years ago, he wasn't quite yet the household name he has become now. But from the moment you meet him, you knew. What Yunho could be - what he would be someday.

From dating around in the city, your qualifications for a decent partner became more vague with each dead end, nothing-more-than-a-nice-dinner date. Don't be a complete jerk, was the only remaining requirement on your list when you first met Yunho. Perhaps made to be the slightest bit of a cynic by then because of so many bad experiences, you didn't so much as swoon when he directed his truly angelic smile at you. Complimenting your appearance only after he greeted you with a kiss on the back of your hand.

Stereotypical and overly chivalrous as he was, you didn't buy it. And you wouldn't have admitted it then, probably not even now - that the effect, still, was immediate.

You knew then you shouldn't get your hopes up. Yunho was still up and coming in the industry, but working as a writer had showed you just how little experience had to do with how any and every actor could walk around like the world owed them just by existing. But what was one more possible bad date story to tell San over a brunch debrief the morning after? What have you really to lose?

So when Yunho asks you once the party ends if you're free for lunch the next day, of course you say yes. Never would you have anticipated how quickly he could crumble your walls to dust and worm his way through your rib cage into hold such a vice grip on your heart. Maybe it was always supposed to happen that way, as you can't imagine falling any differently with Yunho on the other side of it.

Everyone he meets always falls a little in love by the end of the conversation, you were sure of it. So, in a way, there wasn't ever a timeline in which you didn't end up completely in love with Yunho. You were just fortunate enough to be living in the one where somehow, he did, too.

When you think of Yunho, you think of the sun. Fireworks lighting up the sky after it sets along the horizon and the summer breeze rushing past while you still feel warm to the touch. It's the little things, too. His hand on the small of your back when crossing the street. His insistence on opening every door you ever walk through. How he waits to pick up his own fork until you to take the first bite at dinner. The blinding smile that takes over his face after finding you in a crowd across the room.

When things had begun to change, you hadn't the slightest idea. Everything did, and yet nothing did, really. He still opened the car door for you, but no longer texted you random updates in between breaks for filming. He still swung your interlocked hands when you walked down the street, but now didn't ask to stop and take pictures together every few blocks. You still had date nights, however rare with his constantly packed schedules, but these days you spent most dinners at home like you had most nights as well. Alone.

You go to sleep and Yunho's not there, or wake up to him long gone - sometimes both. At one point he would leave cute little notes on your nightstand, apologizing for having to rush out and detailing his plans for the day, but even those had eventually stopped.

You don't talk about it. You can't, not really. Not when he goes about life as normal. Smiling at you gently on those hard to come by mornings you do have together, your coffee waiting for you on the counter, made just the way you like it. How can you say anything is wrong when he looks so happy to finally be able to share a meal with you, going on about the outtakes behind his latest drama, questioning you with the stars in his eyes about your recent works right after?

There's never a right time to admit you're hurting. Especially not when it appears you are the only one feeling this way.

"You're thinking too loud," Yunho grumbles from behind you, voice laced with sleep. He lazily throws his arm over your middle to pull you close.

At times you could almost forget you're still sharing the same bed. Even with your lover pressed against your back, it feels as though you really couldn't be further apart.

"Sorry," you mumble back. "Did I wake you?"

You feel his hair brush against your neck as he presumably shakes his head. His lips press against your bare shoulder. Not quite kissing, just resting them there.

"Want to talk about it?"

Your instinct is to say no, brush it off like you often do. Like when Yunho catches your dazed look drifting away from the conversation, or the brief lull that follows from cutting yourself off right when you are about to ask. The situation never seems right for it, and you're beginning to realize there likely won't ever be a good time if you don't just speak up now.

"I miss you," you start. Too vague, you realize, so you continue. "It's like we're always just missing each other, I guess. Going through the motions, but not together. It doesn't even feel like we're living in the same house anymore."

Yunho hums against your skin. You assume it's an encouragement to keep going, but you have nothing more to say. The pressure of those words lifted such weight off your chest that it seems like saying anything more about how you've felt recently would be too much, and you'd flounder.

"I'll be better," he promises. He makes a lot of those lately. You still believe them every time. "Filming finishes soon, and then I'll be all yours."

You should say something else, but what? You are both well aware that once filming ceases for his drama he goes straight into preparations for his next movie. And once the final episode for his current project airs in the coming weeks, there will be even more offers pouring in. For movies and shows and the likes. Everyone wants a piece of Jeong Yunho these days. You're not the only one.

Yunho adjusts his hold on you, not letting up as he moves to lay back down. It won't be long before he falls asleep again. You can only hope exhaustion will catch up to you eventually, before the burning behind your eyes finally form the tears you've been denying for what feels like forever now.

You think back to a comment San had made the last time you too had hung out. Some time has past since that cloudy morning you saw your best friend last, when he softly spoke words that would unknowingly stick with you for the weeks to come. He likely believed you hadn't even heard him over the hard rainfall against the café windows, but you did. Once you realized the cracks in your heart hadn’t yet filled, you wished you hadn’t.

"If things seem too good to be true, they probably are."

As he was with most things, San was right.

He had never liked Yunho, not from the very second San had met him at the very first group hangout he ever came to. San was polite at least, if not overly formally in a way that was telling to only you. As for why - he couldn't really explain it himself.

"It's just this feeling I get around him. I don't like it."

San's gut instincts were never wrong. And while you were already nothing short of completely enamored by Jeong Yunho, you weren't in too deep. Yet. It wasn't too late pull back, but San hadn't asked that of you. Wouldn't, either, without impeccably good reason.

Rather, he pulled back. Often missing outings with your other friends when he knew Yunho would be there. You saw less and less of him the more you and Yunho's lives became intertwined. It made you feel awful, but San insisted it was a him thing.

Being completely caught up in Yunho's web led you to accepting that fact much faster than you probably should have.

On the rare occasions you do hang out, one on one, no Yunho in sight - you never talk about him. Until one day, San's curiosity seemingly gets the better of him.

"How have you and lover boy been?" He would ask. And he always did, avoided saying Yunho's name like the plague.

"Don't ask questions you don't care about the answers to."

You can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Not having your boyfriend and closest friend get along is one thing, but San's seemingly unfounded detestation for Yunho is something else all together.

"I do care about you," he mumbles, continuously fiddling with his cup of iced coffee. He's done more passing it back and forth between his hands than ever drinking from it.

Your silence is all that answers him. There's not much you can say, when nothing is out right wrong, anyway. You don't trust yourself to not break down, either. Because saying it out loud will make it real.

San sighs, "I'm sorry for not spending much time with you these days." He finally takes a sip from his drink, no doubt long since watered down now from going untouched this whole time. "I try not to step in your time together, either. I know how hard it probably is to come by lately. He’s all over the place.”

There was a point in time, not even too long ago, that you would've told San everything. You find yourself fighting the very urge to now, to tell San that those days were more rare than he would believe. That you're beginning to doubt everything about yourself and your relationship. And that it seems like you are the only one bothered by it all.

Maybe you're also scared of proving San right, of hearing him say 'I told you so'. You're entirely too afraid to admit that you know something is going on and all the insecurities you had in the beginning of your relationship have come back a tenfold. San surely wouldn't leave you alone then, if he knew just the kind of downward spiral you were heading towards, being stuck in your own mind all the time.

So you bite your tongue, and reassure him that there's nothing to apologize for.

You don't anticipate ever opening up to San about the problems you're facing regarding Yunho. But one minute, you're sat alone at a table meant for two, hours after the time your reservation was made for. Then the next you're standing at San's apartment door, drenched from the pouring rain outside.

You barely remember the ride here or why you thought coming to San was the best first choice of action. Knocking before you can even stop yourself, and barley given the time to consider running away when San opens the door.

You meet his worried eyes, and the first brick of your carefully crafted walls fall.

You still haven't cried. Not even after you're sat on the couch with San, dressed in dry clothes, freshly made cup of coffee in hand. It's going cold and you haven't even taken a sip. Can't. It's not the way Yunho makes it.

San doesn't ask. Doesn't really have to, but he's always been the curious type, so you know he's only holding out for you. Which is why you start talking and don't stop.

A hand on your back, soft spoken reassurances in between your brief pauses for air. Even when you go quiet for extended periods of time San never says 'I told you so'.

Instead, "You don't deserve this."

You want to believe San. He was right about Yunho after all. But San could've never accounted for how hard you’d fall - how your heart would bend and mold to make a perfect Yunho shaped place in your chest, a spot only he could ever fill.

You hadn't know love before Yunho. Not like this. This feeling like if he ever stopped loving you, you'd be left afloat in the middle of an ocean’s storm, simply praying for the sun to come out again. Every fulfilling breath you could take now, not filled with salt water, is only because he loves you too.

It's almost comical. Cheesy enough to have been a moment pulled straight from one of Yunho's many drama scripts; the white button down in your hand, and the burgundy lipstick stain on it's collar.

For a reason you can't explain you just know this isn't a one off, possibly drunken after party mistake. It doesn't help that Yunho doesn't even jump to fill the silence with carefully crafted defenses of himself, only standing in the doorway to your bedroom with wide eyes, noting your every expression. You hope you don't look as defeated as you feel, but with how Yunho is walking towards you with slow steps while you remain entirely unmoving, you already know you've lost.

"Do you love her?"

There's no point in pretending anymore. The truth is out, and it hurts more than you ever thought it could. The prickly feeling of thorns that have been growing around your heart for what feels like forever now suddenly morph into bigger, sharpened blades, stabbing deeper with seemingly every breath you take.

"I love you."

You're eyes burn like never before. You think if the tears start now, they may never stop.

"Do you love her?"

The slightest pause, and then a baited breath.

"I love you more."

It's not enough, you want to shout. You want to do anything but sit there in silence, as Yunho's hands find purchase on your waist. You want to push him away when he starts pressing kisses on your cheek and then down to your neck. You don't want to love Yunho, not anymore.

But the love you feel won't go away overnight. It doesn't go away even now, with his indirect admission of not only infidelity, but deep affection for another. You were foolish to ever believe love was a word that could only ever exist between the two of you.

You briefly wonder, does he hold her chin when he kisses her, too? Does he buy her flowers? Does he send her silly pictures of himself during costume changes? Does he trace shapes on her back while they cuddle? God, does he talk about the future with her? All light eyes and giddy smiles, thrilled by the prospect of simpler days. With a wrap around porch and a dog and a garden?

The first tear falls, and Yunho is quick to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. His hands are all over you, so gently, as if a more lingering touch will lead you to break. You don't believe it will make a difference.

No, it only makes it worse. How quickly you melt into his embrace, clinging onto his shoulders like your life depends on it. In someways it does - because even if you can't have all of Yunho, any bit of him will suffice. You need the breath of fresh summer air he brings, not the salt water.

Like that of an addict finally getting their fix. His words are the only drug you could ever need. They keep you going if only for a little while, and when you start to fall all you need is the slightest taste - and you're reminded once more of what you could've been missing.

Jeong Yunho was always meant for great things. The world cannot contain him any better than love can. He has always been too good to be true.

"Let me love you," he begs. And you do.

[sxcret-garden]

Ateez Reaction ღ Asking them to teach you how to fuck [M]

ღ Ateez all members x fem-bodied!reader (some parts can be read with a gn!reader though) ღ genre: smut reaction (best friend!Ateez x inexperienced reader), (implied) friends to fwb/friends to lovers in one part ღ warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption

Author’s note: This is definitely not what I had planned to write today but oh well :’) I hope you guys enjoy~

Hongjoong:

when one day you somewhat shyly ask him if he would teach you how to please a guy he’s definitely surprised

but it’s also not like he sees a problem with friends hooking up? i mean - y’all know each other well and trust each other, so having sex shouldn’t be an issue

teaches you everything you wanted to know and then some more, until suddenly you can barely even remember that other guy who made you feel like you needed to practice so much anymore

he’ll be gentle with you, seeing how you don’t have much experience yet, and somehow he’ll end up pleasuring you first to help you relax

only when you’re about to cum on his fingers does he stop for a second to consider whether it’s really okay to go this far with you

but you’re enjoying yourself, and now you’re whining for him to keep going, so that’s what he does

makes you cum and then lets you rest for a bit, before he starts guiding your hands down his body

praises you for everything you do and gently nudges you in the right direction, until you have him cumming into your fist - but he won’t stop there

there’s just something insanely hot to him about having full control over what you do to him as he gives you instructions, and this is definitely also awakening some kind of corruption kink deep inside him

eventually you end up on top of him as he guides you down his cock and into a steady rhythm, having you ride him

and of course this becomes a regular thing between the two of you, both keeping up the pretense that you’re still just “practicing”, when really there’s a carnal need growing inside both of you that makes you always come back to each other for more

Seonghwa:

the first time you bring it up to him that you’ve been wondering if he could help you practice having sex he feels conflicted to say the least

of course he wants to help you!! but this is about having sex with one of his best friends, and he doesn’t know if he wants to cross that line with you

but at the same time it’s also apparent that your question is affecting him when you can see his ears turn red, and eventually he has to get out of there for a second to get himself a glass of water sakdfjlks

“So is that a yes?” you ask him when he comes back, and he almost spits the water back out aksdljfkjsd

“I-I’ll have to think about it, Y/N…” he somehow manages to stutter, before he forcibly changes topic

he needs a few days to calm down about this, but once some time has passed he figures it’s probably not a big issue if he helped you out a bit, right?

you agree one a few rules like no kissing, no actual intercourse, but he’s willing to let you touch him otherwise

and so you decide to start slow, with a simple handjob, and he actually finds himself enjoying the way he can tell you what to do, gently push you in the right direction, plus the sight of having your hands wrapped around his cock just does something very sinful to him - so it’s no surprise that you don’t have any trouble making him cum

but now he feels the need to pay you back, and so you let him finger you, and his skillful touches throw you over the edge in no time

you do this a few times, until eventually you find yourselves growing more needy, and you end up sucking him off while he eats you out, quietly turning it into a game of who can make the other cum faster in your mind

needless to say, now that you started casually hooking up you won’t be stopping anytime soon

Yunho:

he is SOSO flustered when you first ask him about whether he could teach you a bit about sex the first time and immediately says no aksjdklfsk

“Y/N, we’re just friends… shouldn’t you do that with an actual boyfriend?”

but you insist, admitting that you feel embarrassed about how inexperienced you are, and of course this guy reassures you that you’re fine the way you are, and once the right guy comes along he will surely be understanding with you

and as much as you want to believe his words, your insecurities prevail, until eventually you find an agreement that you can at least come ask him about stuff if you feel unsure about something so he could give you a verbal explanation

and you take him up on that offer pretty soon, simply because you’re curious kasjflkasdj

so when one day you ask him out of the blue whether guys prefer getting handjobs or blowjobs he’s a blushing mess first of all

“W-well, it depends on the guy…?” - so you ask him what he prefers and now he’s visibly uncomfortable

but he figures you’re just curious, so he tells you about how both is nice, it really depends on his mood, but he probably prefers a simply handjob most of the time

he loosens up a bit eventually, and as you continue talking about the topic and you ask him all kinds of questions, neither of you can deny that it’s affecting you

except nothing really happens afterwards, because you know he wouldn’t want to overstep that boundary

it’s only until a little later, when you’re both drunk at a party and he suddenly pulls you aside to tell you that he hasn’t been able to think about anything but what it would be like to have sex with you

and well, you pressing your body up against his does nothing to deflate that situation, and so you disappear in the nearest room where it’s just the two of you, and in no time clothes are flying off and your hands are all over each other

but despite the desperation that the both of you are feeling, he’s still careful with you, taking the lead as you spend the rest of the night fucking in that room

Yeosang:

he has no idea how to react when you ask him to teach you how to fuck, so it’s just awkward silence for a few moments

until he offers to treat you to a few hours with a sex worker instead ksajdflkjs

and well, that’s not exactly what you had in mind, because the point of you asking him was that he’s someone who’s known you for a long time and who knows you well

“Ahhh, I see… then sorry that I can’t be who you want me to be, but no.” (why does he have to say it so dramatically fksdjkfas)

you’re of course a bit disappointed, but it’s not like you don’t understand him - not everyone would want to cross that line with a friend - so you leave it at that for now

until one evening you’re together at your place, and you can tell something’s off about him - he seems fidgety and like he’s anxious about something, so eventually you decide to ask what’s up

and he doesn’t really want to give you an answer at first, but eventually he manages to force out an explanation

“Just… what you said to me a few days ago… I thought about it again… and maybe we can try it after all?” - you two talk a lot so it takes you a while to understand what he’s hinting at, but once you do, you’re immediately by his side

you reach for his hand as you’re sitting side by side, and somehow both your nerves are making it hard to do anything

“S-so… how do we start? Do we kiss?” he asks, and you agree that that might be a good idea, and weirdly enough as soon as your lips meet his and you fall into an unhurried pace, both your anxieties seem to be washed away

you get into his lap, and somehow you both just end up following your instincts, only breaking the kiss to tell each other what feels good, and then eventually in order to moan at the way you dry humping him is about to get the both of you off

you’re taking this very slow, but it becomes a regular thing for you to meet up in order to have sex from then on, both exploring and learning about each other’s body as you go

San:

another one who feels very conflicted the first time you bring it up to him

he doesn’t think mere friends should be doing this kind of thing with each other, but at the same time he can’t say he isn’t tempted

he says no at first, but the days after he just can’t stop thinking about you naked, on top of him, underneath him, you name it

until these thoughts start to haunt him in his dreams too, and he knows he can’t possibly be normal around you anymore if he doesn’t do anything about this

so he decides to help you out after all, under the premise that you won’t have any actual intercourse

instead, he teaches you how he likes to be touched with hands only, and eventually he also lets you suck him off

tells you exactly what to do that would drive any guy insane, gives you advice in between moans and at some point he will start rambling, until his high is coming so close that his train of thought just cuts off

and once he sees the state he put you in after cumming in your mouth - your glazed over eyes, his seed dripping down your lips before you lick it all up and swallow - he just can’t help himself anymore

“Shit, Y/N, let me fuck you, please,” he mutters, desperation in his voice

and as soon as you give him the okay this guy will be all over you, being rougher than you’d have expected him to be, fucking you as he’s led only by his instincts and his need to feel the warmth of your cunt wrapping around him

Mingi:

he’s another one who isn’t opposed to having sex with a good friend

actually, he feels a weird sense of relief when you ask him if you could practice with him, because he feels very comfortable with you and so he knows he too will be able to let go quickly

you start slow anyway, because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you - seeing how you don’t have much experience yet - and so he’s even more surprised when you reach for his dick pretty quickly

you ask if what you’re doing is good, and as you’re giving him a few strokes this guy is hard in no time

will put his hand onto yours to guide you into the pace he likes, but very soon he’ll simply leave it up to you, wanting to know exactly what you would do to him if he doesn’t interfere

and soon enough his sanity will start to slip away, and when he starts bucking his hips into your hand the dynamic shifts ever so slightly, because suddenly you don’t seem so inexperienced anymore at all as you dare to tease him about how needy he is

lets you make him cum onto his stomach, before you call it quits for the day, but you’ll be sure to come back for more soon

he’ll let you get him off in all kinds of ways, until eventually you two start experimenting with anything and everything you’re curious about, all under the premise of “practice”

and soon he too will feel the need to return the favour and get you off too, learning all about how your body reacts to his touch, and figuring out together what feels best for you

you’re gonna spend whole weekends at his place just fucking, and in no time you basically know each other’s bodies like the back of your own hand

and it’s more than likely that in the process this guy actually falls in love with you, and even though it’s still a whiiiile until he actually finds the courage to tell you that, he will make damn sure you won’t even think about wandering off to someone else

“You’re mine, Y/N,” - the words will repeatedly slip past his lips as he’s fucking you, and surely enough they do something to you too

Wooyoung:

you two tend to be very touchy to begin with - even though you’re definitely not in love he gives you kisses on the cheeks or your neck all the time, and when you’re having a sleepover you can be sure it will include a good amount of cuddling

so when one day he’s spooning you, focused on drawing random patterns on the skin on your arm, and you tell him that you’ve been thinking whether he would be okay with showing you how to properly please a guy he isn’t put off by the idea at all - though he is a little surprised, both because he was of the impression you had a lot more experience than you do, and because he didn’t think you’d ever consider him the right person to come to with a favour like this (like????? who else would be a better person??????)

and this guy is so gentle and respectful with you - he’ll ask exactly what you want him to show you, what you want him to do, will ask before whatever he does whether you’re okay with it or not,...

you just end up having really sweet sex as you help each other out of your clothes and you both get a little distracted worshipping each other’s body

there will be a lot of giggling as you slowly figure out what the other likes and what not, until you end up flat on your back, with his head between your legs, and suddenly all that light-hearted curiousity turns into a deep passion

he eats you out and makes you cum on his tongue multiple times, eager to please you and to see how many more of those sinful moans and whimpers he can draw out of you

until finally you grab him by the hair and pull him away so he would give you a break to catch your breath and to remind him that he was supposed to teach you how to do this stuff

“You asked me how to please a guy,” he replies. “This is how you please this guy right here.” - at this point he is absolutely pussy drunk, there’s no going back for him

will offer to get you off every single time you have a sleepover from now on (and mysteriously the amount of sleepovers you have is suddenly increasing drastically), but he will also exert some amount of self control beforehand and let you get him off too, before he makes you feel good

Jongho:

the first time you very awkwardly hint at him that you’ve been wondering if he’d be willing to teach you how to fuck he simply laughs

until he realizes you weren’t joking

panics internally as all the times he’s gotten off while thinking of you flash him by and he somehow manages to tell you that you’re just friends and you should really reconsider this!!!

he never actually gives you a proper answer on that day, and neither of you bring it up until like two weeks later

you’re both chilling with your phones in your hands, having made yourselves comfortable on his bed as you often do when you’re at his place, when he suddenly speaks up

“So… do you still want me to… teach you a few things?” he asks, not taking his eyes off his phone, and you can feel the nervousness radiating off of him - but as soon as you say yes that mood instantly gets replaced with confidence

“Then come here.” - he goes slow to figure out what you’re okay with and what not, but when you throw your arms around him once he starts scattering kisses in your neck as he hovers above you, he knows he can’t hold back anymore

gets you off on his fingers first, before he guides your hand to his cock and shows you exactly how he wants you to return the favour

“Wanna go all the way? Cause I’ve been thinking about this…” he admits, and when you say yes he doesn’t spare you any details

tells you about what he wants to do to you, and lets you decide which of his fantasies you want to recreate, until you end up in all kinds of positions, having him fucking one orgasm after the other out of you, until it becomes clear you’re getting tired and you really can’t take any more

you’re both very awkward after this, to the point you act weird around each other even in front of your other friends, who start wondering whether you had a fight

but as things normalize themselves between the two of you, you meet up again at his place

you decided prior to that that what happened several days ago was a one time thing, and you wouldn’t do it again

or so you thought, because as soon as you find yourselves side by side on his bed again, neither of you can deny that the only thing you’re thinking about is continuing where you had left off last time

[eightmakesonebraincell]

asking bf!ateez to draw you a flower

genre: ot8 x gn!reader, fluff, crack, fake texts

c/w: swearing, pet names, questionable drawing skills

a/n: happy valentines and stay delulu 😘🫰 tmi but jongho's flower took 1.5 hours to draw and mingi's took five seconds 💀 and if some of the flowers look hideous then blame @sorryimananti-romantic bc she probably told me to draw them :D

[kisshwa]

The house demands bf!ateez texts and putting them on a sex ban pls🥺

ask demand and you shall receive!

ATEEZ and PUTTING THEM ON A SEX BAN

pairing: bf!ateez x reader

warnings: a few curse words; mentions of toys, gaslighting/manipulation (all jokes)

[thewonandonly]

19:04 — i'm devoted. hours turn to minutes when i listen to you talkin'. never noticed, but you must've been a godsend, 'cause i needed you, yeah, i needed you. tellin' me i should've tied my ends, tellin' me i gotta watch my dosage, took too much that i thought that i was dead, and i thought of you, yeah, i thought of you | HELL/HEAVEN by keshi

san could listen to you talk for however long, because even if it was a one word story or thirty thousands, it always felt like it was seconds. he was so in love with you and he could listen to your voice for however long you wanted to talk.

there was one day, he was so sleep deprived, that even though he was exhausted, he sat there and listened to you tell him a story about that bitch at work. he's never met her, but if you said she was a bitch, she was already on his shit list.

but, now since you were gone, he didn't have anything left to listen to. all the songs were worn out, he's watched all the movies he could get through. the only way he was getting any idea of you off his mind, was by drowning his sorrows.

this particular evening, you was drunk off his ass, and the boys were beginning to worry as he went to the bathroom to lay on the floor while cuddling the bottle, imagining it was your warmth.

and in a panic, mingi called you, with fear dripping in his voice, saying that he thought san died while drinking.

you immediately headed over there. you both may have broken up, but you'd hate if he was this tore up about it that he would turn to the bottom of the bottle rather than his friends.

opening the door, mingi sat on the step and pointed behind him. kicking off your shoes, you opened the bathroom door and squatted down immediately.

you called his name, pulling the bottle from his arms.

and he came to, a giant smile on his face, "y/n?"

"yes, it's me." you rubbed his head, "what are you doing?"

san sighed, "drinking." he yawned, "i thought i died for a second. you have the voice of an angel."

you rolled your eyes, "san, you need to watch how much you drink. too much of this stuff especially can kill you."

san laughed, the smell of alcohol wafting up from his mouth, "i know, but, it just since you've been gone." he slurred, "i was remembering that time you told me about that bitch from your work. your voice is so beautiful."

you immediately started to help him up.

"i thought you this whole time." he nearly cried, "even when i thought i was on that bathroom floor dying, you're the last person i thought about." he weeped.

"get some rest." you whispered, sitting on the corner of the bed.

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