#sappy love struck wolfstar are my babies

[lexithwrites]

Hi :) 80 + wolfstar

hi izzy!!

prompts

80. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”

slight TW for this one, just Sirius having negative thoughts about himself but just in case anyone is upset by that the warning is here!

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"I love you."

Sirius stared at him, eyes darting across his face to try and read any ounce of humour or deceit, but there was nothing there. Remus was being genuine, but how? How could he love him?

It was Sirius.

"You've had too much to drink, Moons." Sirius snorted, shaking hands moving to grab his wine glass and fill it up. Slightly contradictory, since Sirius had drank most of the wine that night. Maybe that's what it was; he was drunk and he misheard him.

"No, I haven't," Remus was frowning at him from across the kitchen island. "I mean it, Sirius—"

"No you don't,"

"Yes I do!"

"Stop it!" Sirius voice sent Remus back a step and he swallowed. The glass in his hand was shaking now, too, and Sirius put down the wine bottle before he accidentally dropped it on the floor. "You...you don't mean that, Remus. And it's fine, really, I'm not mad at you—"

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't love me, no, you don't love me," Sirius shook his head and took a long gulp, wincing at the burn in his throat. He fucking hated white wine. "We're friends,"

"If that's how you feel about me that's fine—" Remus tried to step closer to him again but Sirius backed up and against the counter.

"No, don't do that," he mumbled, his voice trembling. Remus was playing a cruel trick on him now, that's all it was. He felt sorry for him because Sirius couldn't hold a healthy relationship down and Remus had never dated anyone. It was all too convenient and it wasn't true. Remus didn't love him. "You're being mean."

He could never love him. He was a fucking mess.

"I"m telling you how I feel, how is that mean?" Remus didn't understand. He saw how Sirius looked at him, how often he touched him. He knew. He knew he wanted this so why was he denying it? "Sirius—"

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because why would you love me, Remus? What good am I to you?" Sirius spat and that made Remus pause.

"You don't think you're good enough?" He whispered. Sirius hated being vulnerable, fuck. But now he had backed himself into a corner and couldn't escape. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”

"Stop it—"

"I've always loved you,"

"Moony, please—"

"I mean it, Sirius. Ever since we first met I've been mental for you and I'm sorry but I need to tell you before I explode because I know—" Remus took his hand and Sirius jumped at how close they were. "—I know you feel something for me. I know I'm plain, and all I do is read my books and mind my own business, and I wear these ugly fucking jumpers and I smoke too much, but I know you feel it too, Pads. I see it in your eyes when you look at me."

Sirius looked up. Guess he wasn't as slick as he thought. He watched as Remus' soft brown eyes scanned his own face for something, anything, and he let out a whimper.

"But it's me," Sirius mumbled, putting down the glass and fisting Remus' jumper. They were always so soft and smelt so good, like sandalwood and pine cigarettes and him. "I don't deserve someone as good as you, Moony. I never have. S'why I never said anything."

"You silly git," Remus chuckled, tears welling in his eyes that made Sirius' mouth part in shock. He never saw Remus cry. "You say everything that's on your mind but that?"

Sirius' cheeks flushed. "Well, you know how I hate rejection—"

Remus pulled him against his chest and Sirius melted. Just like he always did. Then it slowly started to sink in that Remus loved him. He loved him. All these years of pining for him in secret—or as secret as telling James as often as he could was—just for Remus to love him back. Maybe he was a silly git.

"Can we promise to just tell each other everything from now on?" Remus mumbled into his hair and Sirius shivered. His voice always did that to him.

"Yeah, okay." He nodded and nuzzled his jumper. "S'always been you, Moony."

"I know," Remus replied, "and it's always been you."