#schemastuck

[starlitfunkster]

Not Sure How to Title This

I guess it can be a slight mobsterswitch AU thing since it includes all of the Meddlesome Company and Twilight Scoundrels (which I need help with thinking of a monster for AD and NB... it can’t be like the originals though). And also Felt because I found it clever that they’d all be different kinds of demons, though I haven’t finished that one yet (will show all the finished ones though). 

These are just what I found most fitting, and nothing more. Furthermore I tried to do opposite to what the main Problem Sleuth character’s counterparts are.

Will not talk about all the Twilight Scoundrel’s because I have no idea what Angry Delinquent would be.. and maybe also Nefarious Bawd.

Oh yeah and Mobsterswitch was made by @selanpike I think. I don’t recall if other people helped. Also I did this on a whim because I got nearly as bored as the Scofflaw does in this universe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meddlesome Company:

Snooping Scout - I had a weird daydream where he and a fan character of mine Artistic Magician (shadow mage in mobsterswitch) were moon rabbits. Scoot hides his ears and tail better than AM does, but that’s mostly because AM has an excuse (being, you know, a magician). He originally lived on the moon before moving down to earth, and after Scoff got bored and tried to blow up the moon Artsy moved down to earth due to her home being blown up (and maybe kicking Scoff in the kneecaps).

Deadeye Detective - I had issues coming up with his monster. He was (I think) agreed on to be a Siren in the Scemastuck AU, so I went with something similar yet different. So uh, yeah he’s basically a half-kelpie centaur. But he can leave his home and go solve mysteries whenever he wants to (or whenever his ‘crush’ decides to leave him alone).

Cheerful Demoman - Another one from a weird daydream, even though it doesn’t match what people had Clubs Deuce be, I chose to make him a Bakeneko. Who mostly stays in feline form to be nearby AM at all times. Also maybe to be a thorn in Clover’s side.

Heavy Brawler - So I am confused on Hearts Boxcars too, since one I saw him be described as a Dullahan, but another was an Incubus... so I went with friendly Wendigo who likes nature. Hopefully nobody murders me for this decision (hey if I had Demo make no sense then why not Brawler?).

Twilight Scoundrels (Incomplete):

Peccant Scofflaw - I.. I actually just wanted him to be a banished moon god because he kept trying to blow up the moon. Even after he is banished he still attempts to blow up the moon out of boredom. Don’t make him bored if you value your lives, as he could easily smite you with his (totally not stolen) scythe. Oh yeah and his cloaks inside looks a lot like the inside of Lunala’s wings. Yes I went there, but that’s mostly because Lunala’s wings are so beautiful..

Pernicious Innovator - Hooray more things that make no sense, because Pickle Inspector was a frankenstein. I basically went with ‘wisps of wind that cannot be fully comprehended as an angelic being unless you are of his group or bloodline’. He still doesn’t understand with Artsy can fully see him despite not being of his group (the Twilight Scoundrels) or of his bloodline (that is, being his adopted daughter (Nepeta is a feral nekomata try and change my mind-)).

Angry Delinquent - To explain what a Dragonborne is: A man or woman born from a dragon that has the powers of a dragon and can even shapeshift into a dragon if they are powerful enough. Just don’t try to anger him for no reason, since you will regret it. He mostly uses his fire powers to either scare people into not harassing him, or to you know.. threaten people. He never turns into a dragon unless there is a ton of people attacking him. Also don’t ask about his wings, he can’t hide them and he ain’t a demon.

Heinous Doxy - Since the opposite of a witch would technically also still use magic but not be human... I went with making her a beautiful siren that mostly flirts with Scoff. Who also owns a chainsaw and taser, both of which are waterproof. She also can leave water for a few moments, though she must stay hydrated unless she wants to die... not! Whenever her bodies dry she gains legs, which was a recent thing she discovered. Unfortunately this leads her to meeting two of The Fuzz members.

Nefarious Bawd - She may be a demon, but she’s just a fallen angel. She is always worried about Inny being discovered by a total stranger (even though he cannot) or whenever Scoff tries to blow up the moon. She owns a lot of different weapons, though she mostly uses a dagger, a freaking flamethrower and a large paper fan that is used to smack some sense into Scofflaw.

Felt / Fuzz (Has Completed ones but not the Incomplete ones):

01 / Itchy - He is a speed demon (duh) who’s hair sparks electricity when he runs really fast. He can turn into a thunder bird if he needs to fly, as while he was born without wings he can still shapeshift into the mythical thunder bird.

02 / Doze - He’s a male jinn, starting as a simple flame left behind when his body was placed in the graveyard. After Scratch put the flame into a jar for weeks, it gained a humanoid appearance, however it also gained free will. He crafted his own lamp to sleep within, which seems really roomy if he decides your a threat and to use his magic to trap you inside of the lamp.

03 / Trace - I decided for him to be a Male Gorgon, the problem was that I had no idea where to go from there. Other then that he is the one probably luring people towards Fin so that way his boyfriend- I mean coworker can have a ‘snack’.

04 / Clover - Yeah I got into one of my giggly fits when deciding what demon to make Clover. It mostly came from his ability and how he keeps trying to make people dance in the source material (Homestuck, specifically Paradox Space’s ‘The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven’). So uh yeah... Incubus Clover. He’s stated to be cute enough to melt people’s hearts, and yet targets ladies the most because they are most susceptible to cute things. He is also Artsy’s waking nightmare for... reasons...

05 / Fin - I didn’t have a problem making him an Umi-Bozu (aka having no human form.. at first). He bargained with Scratch which led to him getting trapped underwater as this tentacled thing with mouths on the underneath of the tentacles. Only artists renditions are seen of this monster form in action (all drawn by either Trace or Itchy (who I headcanon in this universe can’t keep the lines straight due to caffeine)).

06 / Die - I just imagined Die as a Fallen Angel, with chicken wings large enough to make him fly, but he never does this as he is more prone to hiding in the shadows and observing the other demons... and also caring for chickens. He lives near a well where he can see humanity’s history through it. Sometimes he can be caught smiling gently at the waters of the well whenever he sees mankind being good in dark times. His halo may be cracked, but it’s still supported by his horns.

07 / Crowbar - A humanoid Karasu who used to teach people the art of the blades. He now is mostly there to make sure that AM stays safe, and that Snowman never dies. Sometimes he will kill to give souls to the other demons, though it’s mostly just to keep the demons away from the humans. Maybe that’s to not cause a war between angels and demons like a very long time ago.

08 / Snowman - I decided deep down that she would be able to cause solar eclipses around the globe that are permanent and signs that the demons have taken control of that area. She is kind of like Lilith, except nobody, not even the other demons have ever seen her true form that’s hidden by her darkness.

09 / Stitch - I did this since the theme of peacocks fits into colors, and that he has effigies and yet.. someone attacked him one day, plucking the feathers off his tail, leaving only one left. His wings were also damaged from the attack, and one of his horns was sliced apart.

10 / Sawbuck - At first I had no idea what to make Sawbuck, but then I thought about Ent’s. In a way, Ent’s are more peaceful, but this one is a demon. He is non-harmful to the humans, only draining them whenever he needs to survive. He can control this draining power, and he also lives within the forests nearby the city so nobody knows of his existence. Though whenever he is nearby he will definitely help them unless they are malevolent to nature... except for Scofflaw since he is aware that Scofflaw is immortal.

11 / Matchsticks - A fire demon (duh) that actually used to be a man who kept watch over a young witch. Unfortunately she was dragged into another dimension, and Matchsticks was cursed to become a demon with no memory of his past. He is still a bit of a jokester, and may or may not be ignoring fire safety because he can’t exactly control the flames that are his hair and tail tip.

12 / Eggs - He is a demon with slimy wings and tail. It’s advised not to touch them as he will be enticed to seal you within a slimy cocoon. This turns you into one of his own species, which means it kills you and then morphs you. He is pretty dangerous when paired up with Biscuits since he could seal many people in a slimy cocoon, put it in Biscuits magic oven and then they would come out transformed in the future.

13 / Biscuits - He is one of the few demons that seems to have knowledge about cooking and baking, but that’s only so then he can keep his magical oven to help out Eggs. And maybe other people. The good news with him is that he doesn’t like standing in one place, and mostly will go to watch Eggs or the monitor showing AM’s house and rooms.

14 / Quarters -

15 / Cans - There is a reason nobody has ever seen Cans in action. He has the most fully human form, but that’s because his demon form is literally strong enough to knock people into next Tuesday.. or maybe next month, or maybe even out of the calendar entirely!

1/2 / Artsy Magician - As I said before, she too is a moon rabbit in this universe. Only problem is, is that I never got around to drawing her. I might just sketch her, and then post an image later, but she is quite the cutie in this universe. She also is unfortunately the one that the demons decided to well.. force her to live in the mansion until she dies. She is a young adult in this universe instead of being a teen (aka Adept Maiden).

[askthemusecloset]

[ringMaster [RM] created a memo titled: Asks are Open]

[currentringMaster [CRM] just responded to the memo]

[CRM]: Greetings everyone!

[CRM]: I have the list of muses that you can ask for the month of October!

You can ask the following characters within the tags. Some of which are available in their own costumes for Halloween!

An ask meme themed to Halloween will be coming later today, so you can send me asks relating to the ask meme!

[entropic-introspection]

I had a thought about stabdads/sleuthdads+schemastuck

Because I headcanon HD as a witch for rn, and I mean obv Sleuth's a vampire, which really all I can think of is Granny Weatherwax's very practical attitude towards vamps

But then I thought about Kanaya/Rose, which can also be seen as a witch+a vampire

And for some reason that pissed me off like oh my god? How did I not see this? But then it started being funny to me because like

Imagine a young Sleuth trying to date HD, but she's really not putting up with him getting way too into the 'dark creature of the night' schtick and just dumps his ass and his heart is broken forever and always (except not really and they become great friends after a few years of awkwardness)

And then Sleuth sees Kanaya and Rose and immediately goes into parental worry overdrive because oh fuck how much did he influence his kid did he somehow set her up for heartbreak oh god he has to help her but at the same time respect her agency he doesn't know how to teenage girl

So there's Sleuth, just awkwardly, "So, witches, you know? They're, um, very witchy and oh my demigoddess Kanaya don't make the same mistakes I did trying to be like your old man isn't worth it"

And Kanaya is just very confused and "Father Thank You But I Think I Am Making My Own Mistakes? Not That I Would Call Dating Rose A Mistake"

And Rose is very delighted when she learns about all of this and insists on asking Sleuth a lot of very uncomfortable psych questions and smiles at him at random moments just to see him panic

[starlitfunkster]

And now for random doodles.

1. Early Scoff cape design. I would need to be on my desk for better mobility and also for the image of Lunala so I can design a more open cape. I honestly made I personal headcanon for this AU where Scoff ends up sleeping in it sometimes, and mostly had too before he was banished.

2. Doze snoring loudly. He sometimes forgets that he is outside his lamp sometimes...

3. Early Artistic Magician design. I might try again later when I get a better idea on how dresses work.

4. Just Clover being Clover. Only in this AU he has four horns (at maximum the members can have 4, with only 3 members having four horns. Itchy is the only one with 1 horn, and most of the members have two or three horns.) and also for some reason uses stilts to make himself seem taller.

[askthemusecloset]

Submissions are locked until then! For now enjoy the tag dump of the characters being plopped into relevance once again... with the gift of gab.

[starlitfunkster]

That Moment When You Have A Very Long Text Post For Those Who Want To Give You A Gift

So if you don’t want to do this and just want to do one of my OC’s, its the ones that I have shown off so that way you don’t confuse anyone who hasn’t been here in a long time. In short, the first part of this post is my OC’s, as it is a shorter list. The read more will have all of my favorite characters from all of my favorite franchises (including Bomberman).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OC’s

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Problem Sleuth (most recent): Masterful Leader, Antique Ace, Runned Starchild, Nihilistic Void (Can be in Heinoustuck for AA, I haven’t finished with ML, RS and NV yet)

MLP (even if she’s just a joke): Minty Fresh

MHS (oh boy here we go (don’t worry i will post some of them on the archive blog)): Bijue, Yuuri, Limonca, Staff, Beu, Eclair, Frost, Kitsaru, Tangy/Margo, Oracu, Vimian, Habbit, Bakeneko, Yami

Bomberman: Petal Bomber, Spirit Bomber

Homestuck Intermissions: Yeol, Deceit, Netta, N, Bisy

Isle of Objects (which is being rebooted on Quotev, with archive images going onto the archive account one at a time): Illumina, Chamomile, Cocoa, Sunhat, Pluggy, Jewel, Cakepop, Sweetie, Sketchbook, Muggy, Savepoint, B-Day Cake, Candle, Silk, Rocket, Egg Putty, Prince Antennae, Dog Bowl, Blueberry, Bubble Wand, Nagatama, Addie, Subbie, Log, and Carde

Homestuck Fantrolls (will be posted on the archive account): Pamina Lovlou, Dollia Jonezz, Zolzen Acerui, Masara Lucend, Lumare Slithr, Riseta Gloria

Homestar Runner Series: Bubbles, Fructosians, Coach X, Coach Y, Flame, Whispy, King Cobra, Kira Miracuru, Kay-T, Seraphock, Wendy the Weatherdoll, Kasairo, and The Artist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Favorite Characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Problem Sleuth: Problem Sleuth, Pickle Inspector, Hysterical Dame, Nervous Broad, Death, Godhead Pickle Inspector, Demimonde Semigoddess (You can also draw these in Schemastuck and in Mobsterswitch if you so wish)

Homestuck (oh boy): John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Nepeta Leijon, Davesprite, Dave Strider, Dirk Strider, Fefetasprite, Erisolsprite, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Aranea Serket, Sollux Captor, Mituna Captor, Jake English, Lil Hal, Karkat Vantas, Kankri Vantas, Damara Megido, Aradia Megido, Meulin Leijon, and more in the Intermissions!

MHS: Hikky, Liddy, Chaps, Dokky, Inky, Juno, Rosso, Tubee

MLP: Apple Jack, Rarity, Princess Cadence

BFB (OH BOY): Gelatin, Firey, Coiny, Puffball, Needle, Pen (i mean ben), Ice Cube, Balloony, Woody, Bubble, Ruby, Nickel, Fries, Remote, Tree, Liy, Stapy, Foldy, Marker, Flower, Robot Flower, Bell, Taco, Grassy, Cake and Loser

Inanimate Insanity: Lightbulb, Marshmallow, Paintbrush, Bow (Inanimate Insanity II Bow is a little less annoying in my eyes), Test Tube, Taco, Fan, Yin-Yang, MePhone 4, Balloon, Soap, OJ, Pickle, and Pepper

Homestuck Intermissions (mostly Felt): Clubs Deuce, Itchy, Doze, Trace, Fin, Clover, Crowbar, Matchsticks, Eggs, Biscuits (You can draw these guys in Trickster Mode, though thats only if you want to-)

Bomberman: Plasma Bomber, Any of the Bomberman Brothers, Pretty Bomber

Fan Characters: While I normally don’t choose favorites, I have come to the conclusion that if people wanted to draw them with my characters you can as well. Representation of yourself is the best, especially if they are a Felt or MLP OC.

Pokemon: My favorites are Meloetta, Ribombee, the Popplio family, the Snivy family, Steenee, Floette, Aromatisse, and Sylveon

Sonic Series: Tails, Cosmo, Cream, Chaos (just any chao because they are all wholesome and cute)

Kirby Series: Knuckle Joe, Kirby, Meta Knight, Poppy Bros Jr

Homestar Runner Series: Strong Sad, Homestar, Marzipan, Pom Pom, and Coach Z

[entropic-introspection]

Wow this is kind of absolute shit and probably needs editing. Maybe we can count this as a look at my writing process rather than my writing proper.

But anyways, Happy Halloween, everyone! Have supernatural staboyfriends to celebrate. 

            “Come again?” Sleuth asked, stopping in the middle of drying the dishes.

            Slick viciously shoved a plate underwater and repeated himself in a low mutter.

            “Oh,” Sleuth said. “I thought you said that. Well, if that’s all.”

            Slick stared at Sleuth, who had resumed drying the dishes. “That’s all?” he said hollowly. “THAT’S ALL?”

            “Problem?” Sleuth asked. “I mean, you’re getting a bit loud there.”

            “I’m sorry, I just tell you that I’m a fucking werewolf and your response is ‘that’s all’?!”

            “Well,” Sleuth said meditatively, running the dishtowel around the edge of a plate, “What you’re saying is, sometimes you’re short, hairy, and can disembowel me in ten different ways. Except for other times, when you’re a bit taller, hairier, and can probably only eviscerate me with claws or teeth. I think I’m getting a pretty good deal here.”

            “You are irritating,” Slick said.

            Sleuth grinned, his fangs catching the light. “I’ve heard. Were you expecting me to run screaming?”

            Slick shrugged, and shoved the freshly scrubbed plate into Sleuth’s waiting hands. “Pretty much. Thought vamps weren’t fond of the furries. Logistics of keepin’ ‘em separate ‘s a nightmare.”

            Sleuth snorted. “I’ve got pulchritude out the roof and I’m still a licensed Arbitor. You think I don’t know how to deal with people I don’t like?”

            “You mean like how you hide behind me anytime Droog comes into the room?” Slick asked cheerfully.

            “Completely different,” Sleuth said. “That guy is scary as fuck.”

            “Yeah, well, next time don’t dodge his cue stick,” Slick advised. “Bad form, that.”

            “I dodged the first swing on instinct,” Sleuth said. “The second one convinced me that I made the right choice. Vampires aren’t supposed to bruise, you know.”

            “Not my fault you have a crap genetic code,” Slick said.

            Sleuth hefted a plate experimentally. “Y’know, I can now hit you at full strength without having to worry about it,” he said. “Wolves have the nice regeneration, don’t they?”

            “It’s your plate,” Slick said. “And you get so pissy about me breakin’ your stuff.” He sniffed disdainfully.

            Sleuth chuckled and put the plate away. “I get pissy ‘cause you break my nice things. Did you not see how ugly that plate was?”

            “No uglier than your mug,” Slick said.

            Casually, Sleuth reached over and grabbed the sink sprayer. “Wanna repeat that?”

            Slick sighed theatrically, shoving another plate underwater. “Your coffee mug, doofus.”

            “I like that coffee mug,” Sleuth informed him, pulling the trigger on the sink sprayer.

            “Sleuth!” Slick howled, trying to use the plate as a shield. “I will fucking kill you you miserable excuse for a human being!”

            “I technically count as already dead,” Sleuth said amusedly, letting the sprayer hang loosely in his hand. “So good luck with that.”

            Slick leapt forward, smashing the plate over Sleuth’s head. “You jackass,” he snarled, pinning him against the counter.

            “Oooh, granny, look at those chompers,” Sleuth whistled appreciatively. He twisted with inhuman speed, throwing Slick off of him and moving to the empty space in the middle of the room. “Too bad you’re all bark and no bite.”

            “Too bad you suck,” Slick snapped, leaping for Sleuth again.

            Sleuth dodged. “Sorry, did puppy not like getting a bath? Or am I just that good at yanking your tail?” He smiled cheerfully, which was not something a vampire should do when attempting to look friendly.

            “Son of a bitch,” Slick swore.

            “I think that’s you, actually,” Sleuth said helpfully.

            Slick leapt again, this time crashing into Sleuth, sending them both sprawling to the floor. “Bite me.”

            “Do you know how disgusting you’ll taste?” Sleuth says teasingly. He ruffled Slick’s hair. “How did I miss this? Look at how shaggy you get when you’re mad. Do you get cute little ears too?”

            “Nah, I get great big ears,” Slick said with a grin. “To match my great big-“

            Sleuth grinned. “Bestiality ain’t my thing!” he sang out, shoving Slick off of him. “But tell you what, catch me if you can, and we’ll talk about doing things doggy style.”

            “That all?” Slick asked, propping himself up. “Tell you what, five second head start.”

            “So generous,” Sleuth joked, walking over to the door.

            “Four,” Slick said with a grin. “Three.”

            Sleuth blew him a kiss as he pulled the door open. He promptly disappeared into the night with full vampiric speed.

            “One,” Slick said. He got up and sauntered over to the door. “If I lock this, does that count as denying you entry?” he asked casually.

            A hand slapped Slick across the face, accompanied by a burst of wind.

            “Snippy tonight,” Slick said, stretching. “Or should I say, nippy?”

            “It’s the middle of the summer, you ass,” Sleuth called, sitting on the edge of the rooftop. “You can’t say nippy unless it’s cold out.”

            “No, no, I’ve heard some people use nippy to mean nimble,” Slick said.

            “You are so lying,” Sleuth said accusingly.

            “Come down here and say that to my face, coffin stuffer!” Slick yelled.

            Sleuth snorted. “Come up here and make me, puppy.”             Slick grinned slowly. “Ooh. Think you’re safe up there, do ya, sucker?”

            Sleuth shrugged. “I dunno. You’d think wolves couldn’t jump all that high.”

            Slick shook his head slowly. “And you’d think detectives, no, Arbitors, would know things like this.” He ducked back inside, carefully setting his hat down. By the time he came back outside, he was a blur of fur that proved in very short order that Sleuth had completely misjudged how high werewolves could jump.

            Mostly.

            “Did no one teach you about trying to jump people who have the high ground?” Sleuth yelled.

            Slick popped out of the garbage bin, growling. He barked furiously.

            Sleuth wrinkled his nose. “Aw, you can’t talk anymore. Dammit, this is going to be boring.”

            Slick huffed and stalked out of the alley.

            “It wasn’t that boring!” Sleuth yelled. He sat back on the edge of the building, crossing his arms. “Bluh bluh, huge bitch.”

            Vampires are renown for many things. Their sense of hearing is not one of these things. That honor would go to the werewolves, such as the fluffy black one that leapt from one rooftop to another and completely blindsided Sleuth.

            “Gah!” he yelled thrashing about. “I am swallowing hair!”

            Slick panted happily and remained on top of Sleuth. The moment Sleuth stopped spitting out fur, Slick leaned over and licked him from his chin to his forehead.

            “Ew,” Sleuth said. “Mutt slobber. Ew. Isn’t this stuff poisonous to me?”

            Slick rolled his eyes.

            “Okay, so poisonous is not the same as acidic,” Sleuth conceded. “But still. Do you know how disgusting this is? You probably have fleas.” He tried to shove Slick off of him. “Come on, fur bag. Scootch. You feel like a bag of concrete.”

            Slick yawned widely and flopped down, lying on top of Sleuth.

            “You,” Sleuth said. “You fucking bastard. Off.”

            Slick licked him again.

            “I cannot taste that good!” Sleuth sputtered, wiping his face off with his sleeve. “Fuck it all, am I going to have to play fetch to get you off of me?”

            Slick tilted his head, ears cocked.

            “Play ball?” Sleuth tried.

            “What sort of balls we talking about?” Slick asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

            Sleuth made a sort of strained noise.

            “Oh, you big baby,” Slick said fondly, ruffling Sleuth’s hair, “The transformation doesn’t look that bad. You get used to it. I think. I’m still not supposed to transform in front of Boxcars. Says it makes him squeamish.”

            “You are elbowing my stomach,” Sleuth ground out.

            “Whoops,” Slick said. He did not change his position. “So, about that promise.”

            “We’re talking about it when you’re off me and have some clothes on,” Sleuth said, pointedly looking away.

            “That,” Slick said, playing with the buttons on Sleuth’s shirt, “Is going backwards, you deadbeat. Getting our clothes off is kind of the point.”

            “Slick,” Sleuth said patiently, whapping Slick’s elbow out from under him. “My neighbors are watching through their curtains. You are naked.”

            “I admit, that’s a minor sticking point,” Slick said, righting himself “But you’ll have to do better than that.”

            Sleuth lifted himself up just enough to whisper in Slick’s ear. “They keep a shotgun loaded with blessed lead and silver.” He flung Slick aside and rolled across the roof just as a loud bang echoed through the alleyways.

            “The fuck kind of neighbors do you have?” Slick screeched.

            “Paranoid ones!” Sleuth yelled, grinning. “They keep a stake in hand any time I come over!”

            “The fuck?”

            “Might wanna get off the roof,” Sleuth advised him. “I mean, her aim isn’t great, but she can get lucky. Besides which, I am free, and I am running like the fucking wind. Catch me if you can, puppy! No cheating this time!”

            Slick stared open mouthed as Sleuth simply hopped off the edge of the roof and hit the ground running.

            “Cheeky bastard,” Slick muttered, changing back. He howled up at the moon and leapt off in pursuit.

--

            “Trees,” Sleuth said smugly as dawn rose over the horizon. “Your greatest weakness is trees.”

            “Shouldn’t you start burning?” Slick snapped, flopping against the trunk.

            “Nah,” Sleuth said laconically, lazing about on his branch some thirty feet off the ground. “You know that’s a totally fakey bullshit myth. Spontaneous combustion due to sunlight only happens in some vampires. Most of them are dead.”

            “I totally caught you,” Slick complained.

            “I totally got away,” Sleuth said. He dropped an acorn on Slick’s head. “Deal with it.”

            “Wolves are not made for climbing trees,” Slick said stiffly. “Cheater.”

            “You cheated first,” Sleuth said.

            “Did not, you liar.”

            “I said we’d talk about it,” Sleuth pointed out. “We did.”

            “Oh for fuck’s sake,” Slick said, annoyed.

            Sleuth rolled off of his branch and dropped lightly to the ground. “Sorry, friend, I’m beat. Need some sleep, see you later.”

            He began to saunter off, when his shirt collar was abruptly seized by large teeth. Sleuth squeaked as he was lifted off the ground. Slick made an odd sound low in his throat, and Sleuth realized he was laughing.

            “You are hilarious,” he deadpanned, kicking his legs. “Now put me down.”

            Instead, Slick picked up the pace, moving across town in leaps and bounds.

            “Slick, this is what cats do,” Sleuth said. “You are not a cat. Nor am I. This is not cute. Slick, put me down. Put me down before I hurt you. You are drooling on me, Slick.”

            Eventually, they made it all the way out to the docks. Slick trotted over to one particular warehouse and nudged the door open with his nose. With a disdainful chuff he tossed Sleuth aside and kicked the door shut.

            Sleuth pulled himself to his feet. “Nice hideout,” he said, marching for the door. “Now it you’ll excuse me, I’ll bust this later.”

            Slick grabbed Sleuth’s arm in his mouth and pulled him back.

            Sleuth flicked his nose. “Stop it. Bad boy.”

            Slick sighed noisily and pulled Sleuth over to a corner where there was a large conglomeration of what looked like canvas pillows. Twisting his head, he pulled Sleuth down into the pile. Slick barked with satisfaction and then collapsed on top of Sleuth, this time conscientiously avoiding his face.

            “Argh,” Sleuth groaned, rubbing his eyes. “If you wanted to be all sappy, just say so.”

            Slick opened one eye to glare at Sleuth reproachfully before yawning and settling in to sleep.

            “I’m sure this is comfy for you,” Sleuth muttered. “I’ve got a giant wolf on top of me. A giant, hairy, smelly wolf. I don’t even like dogs.”

            Slick nosed at Sleuth until he gave up and started scratching Slick’s ears. “You’re a wolf. Not a dog. Do wolves like this?” he asked.

            Slick sighed happily, not opening his eyes.

            “Whatever,” Sleuth said. “I just… sleep. Fine. I’ll sleep here. I’m going to stop scratching when I do.”

            Slick was already asleep.

            Sleuth shook his head, but he kept scratching until he fell asleep.