#schitt's creek fic

[wordthieve]

David is quitting. He’s had enough of working for a photography company with an off-the-books philosophy of "sleaze and cheese", he's had enough of getting forced into assignments at the last minute when the company president decides he's flitting off to party with D-list celebrities instead. He’s quitting. This is, in fact, his last job. At least it's an easy shoot - a puff piece on some up-and-coming Canadian singer-songwriter on the indie circuit who's just been catapaulted to widespread fame. No complications, no controversy. He'll be in his apartment and wallowing in his bamboo-silk sheets before he knows it. A PhotographerDavid fic inspired by THAT photo shoot by Vanessa Heins.

It's finally finished! Chapter 1 should be up on ao3 as we speak.

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

We love a good surprise, like finding money in our pockets or a special sale on eye of newt. But even more than that, we love a plot twist or a fic moment that makes our jaw drop.

Check out these didn't-see-that-coming moments and leave the authors some love!

-----------------

Body Count ( @weathereyehorizon) "I don't really even know how to talk about this one without giving the good stuff away. It's just so fun and clever and funny. It's a mistaken identity matchmaking dream."

The heat between me and you ( @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3) "The tags look misleading if you read them too fast on this one, but the dove is not so dead, nor so dove. It's actually very fun and pretty spicy!"

Let me paint you a picture (houdini74/ @mostlyinthemorning) "The whole premise of this fic is fantastic, but I was very much surprised by the not your typical roles that David and Patrick played. It's all so good!"

Quick and dirty ( @smallumbrella369) "A totally believable version of what happens when David and Patrick decide to stay at Jake's whiskey night."

Rescued by the farmer ( @dinnfameron) "I would pay actual real money to have scene this go down on the show. It's David and Patrick, but with more Harlequin vibes."

Schittier than fiction ( @delilah-mcmuffin) "This is a gem. The premise is great and it's a little bit wacky, but that's what makes the whole thing so perfect."

Start Spreading the News (PandorasDaydream) "The angst was HUGE! Probably the saddest fic I’ve read and certainly the one I cried the most at. HOWEVER, they do get their happily ever after, and it was beautiful so it made the angst worth it. I was surprised at the premise- David and Patrick divorce! But ultimately so satisfying when they reunited after time apart. Such a well written story and for those who love angst fics, this is one of the best there is!"

There it is on the tip of my tongue ( @designatedgrape) "But what about an AU where David is still running RA, but Patrick has a coffee shop across the street? And it's really hot."

[sits-bound]

Bound: Favored Nations by @blueink3

This was a fun one! This fic is beloved in the Schitt's Creek fandom, for good reason. It's one of the few times I've read along with a WIP and didn't wait until the end. I would eagerly await the release of each new chapter on Sunday. I knew I'd be binding it at some point, it's too good not to.

It's also a CHONK. 270k words and 720ish pages. That's 23 8-page signatures.

A few firsts for this one:

First time using real, purchased bookcloth. Not sure I want to go back to the homemade kind, but seeing as bookcloth isn't cheap nor easy to get, that's not realistic.

It was also the first time I used an oxford hollow. I thought it would help support the massive heft of this volume. Time will tell, I suppose! I followed the tutorial in this excellent video.

And despite my best intentions, it was my first time using the foil quill on the cover because HTV is the devil and the cover got all forked up but I just leaned into it a bit and used the foil quill to fill in bits, and also to do the spine.

Details:

Bookcloth: Arrestox Bookcloth Field (Blue) Green Body font and book title: Arno Pro Chapter headings: DrSugiyama Pro  Story art by @mostlyinthemorning

Bonus: A little book-turning asmr for ya. (don't you just love that sound?)

[schittscreekficrec]

Goodbye Post

Hello, beloved friends! We are sad to announce that we will be retiring this blog. We have so loved providing you with recs over the past two years. In that time, we've recced 1,335 fics (913 unique!) and 251 authors across 45 round-ups and 59 asks.

As a parting gift, here are a few of our all-time personal favorites:

liv’s recs: On Solid Ground by @trueillusion82 [david/patrick, multiple ratings, series]

Strike Anywhere by @madlori [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

An Unexpected Series by @agoodpersonrose [david/patrick, multiple ratings, series]

Bound by Symmetry by barelypink [david/patrick, M, multi-chapter]

julie’s recs: favored nations by @blueink3 [david/patrick, multiple ratings, series]

Incorrect by @lisamc-21 [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

Time until the end of time by @kiwiana-writes @ships-to-sail [david/patrick, M, multi-chapter]

The Seven Husbands of Alexis Rose by @sarahlevys @hagface [twylexis, T, multi-chapter]

ali’s recs: I'd Swing With You for the Fences by @nontoxic-writes [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

Kink-verse by @kiwiana-writes [david/patrick, E, series]

Score by @samwhambam [david/patrick, multiple ratings, series]

To the Great Unknown by @deenerann [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

jette’s recs: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman [david/patrick, M, multi-chapter]

My Heart is like Paper (yours is like a flame) by smallumbrella @smallumbrella369 [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

Molten Glass Hearts by @januarium [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

The Enchantment Umbrage by khughes830 and railmedaddy @rmd-writes [david/patrick, E, multi-chapter]

[rmd-writes]

'tis the season

@stereopticons tagged me to share my winter/holiday fics because 'tis the damn season! I love a winter/holiday fic despite the fact that I live in the southern hemisphere and today is 1 December and the temperature hit 35C today 😰

Schitt's Creek

and then one day, everything changed | T | 9.1k | canon divergence

All David wants to do is sign Marcy Brewer on to sell her amazing fudge at Rose Apothecary. Unfortunately for him, her very snippy, business consultant son gets involved. In an effort to win both Marcy and Patrick over, David invites Patrick to spend some time in the store and on a vendor trip. There’s snow forecast for the day of the vendor trip, but it’s Schitt’s Creek and it never snows. Right?

it's just for snow | E | 18.1k | coffee shop / fake dating AU

When David gets a last minute wedding invitation and Stevie refuses to go with him, he needs to find another date - he needs to show his so-called 'friends' (and Sebastien Raine) that he's thriving now. Enter: David's new favourite barista... — aka the coffee shop / fake dating / road trip / snowed in / there was only one bed fic no one asked for

since we've got no place to go | E | 6k | canon compliant

Patrick books a winter weekend away so that he and David can connect.

Red, White & Royal Blue

you're all that i need | M | 3.9k | coffee shop/book store AU

“Alex.” Henry leans against the wall behind the counter with his arms folded, wearing a pale blue cable knit sweater with the sleeves pushed up and navy chinos. Alex wishes he wouldn’t because it only emphasises his forearms.

He crosses his own arms in response. “Henry.”

“Are you actually looking for a book?” Henry asks with a sigh. “Or are you just wasting my staff’s time?”

“That staff member is my sister.”

“I’m well aware,” Henry says drily. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably wasting her time. Which book are you looking for?”

“Oh.” Alex grimaces slightly. “I’m not actually–” He exhales. “Hunter is in the coffee shop, so I got the fuck out.”

yours for the afternoon | T | 4.6k | coffee shop / fake dating AU

Henry is quietly minding his own business in his favourite coffee shop, when he’s rudely interrupted by an insufferable man attempting to flirt with him. He’s rescued by none other than Alex – a fellow cafe regular who he’s long admired from a distance – posing as his date.

Snowed In? Snow Problem | E | 7.3k | college AU

Henry and Alex get snowed in at their dorm for the holidays, whatever will they do?

911 Lone Star

Make the Yuletide Gay | M | 19.6k | college / fake dating AU

"I'll be your boyfriend for Christmas."

Carlos stares at him like his brain is struggling to comprehend what TK is offering. It's a shared feeling, given that sometimes TK's brain engages before his filter does, and this is definitely one of those times. There’s no room for regrets, though, and he’s not really sure he regrets making the suggestion.

“TK,” Carlos starts softly. "What you're suggesting is— Well, it's a little crazy but also very generous. I can’t ask you to do that for me. It’s really too much to ask of anyone."

TK gets up off his bed and crouches in front of Carlos, his hands on Carlos’s knees. “Firstly, you're not asking, I’m offering. Secondly, consider it a social experiment, like the ones you learn about in class. Except this one directly involves you and me...as your fake boyfriend. You know, for science." --

Fake boyfriends. For science.

Your Place or Mine? | E | 4.5k | college AU

(the sequel to Make the Yuletide Gay)

From best friends to fake boyfriends to real boyfriends, it’s been an eventful few days for TK and Carlos, but now they’re finally back home and alone.

Whatever will they do?

Tagging @welcometololaland @liminalmemories21 @strandnreyes @three-drink-amy @everwitch-magiks @indomitable-love @cha-melodius @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @inexplicablymine @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @iboatedhere @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader @indestructibleheart @lilythesilly @maxbegone @mostlyinthemorning and anyone else who wants to play to share their own winter/holiday fics!

[flowertrigger]

Favourite Line Game

Rules: share your favorite lines or paragraph you’ve written from your fics, posted or wip.

Thank you for tagging me @a-noble-dragon 💚🐉💚

one week is seven days too long 

Patrick is on knees and elbows, forehead resting on the bed as if supplicating to the gods or David himself. His generous ass is high in the air waiting, waiting.

[Sorry this is just 4k of porn.]

in finding myself, i found you

Patrick brings his hands up from David’s hips, the silky material of his blouse whispers under his palms, and settles on his warm back clutching him even tighter. Their hips are in sync, just shy of full on grinding as they move to the heavy beat. As they shift and sway, Patrick loses himself in David’s arms, surrounded by his smell, his heat, his body. It isn’t until he hears David whisper his name that he realises.

He’s aroused.

He’s so hard that he can feel himself pressing against David’s thigh. Heat of a different kind shoots through him, his face aflame with embarrassment as he ceases all movement. Fuck, they’ve only been dancing for mere moments. What must David think of him? A pitiful, small town boy with his first sexual experience.

“Oh my god, David. I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, throat tight with shame. His hands quickly leave David’s back as he tries to step away but David holds tight.

[I still can't believe I wrote something this long. I know it's peanuts compared to most people but it's a lot for me.]

silent in the summer air with you

“Wh-where did the lube come from?” He stutters. Firm fingers drum unrelentingly on his prostate, stealing his breath and heating his skin.

“Pocket. I’ve been carrying it around all day. Statistically, if I fuck you in the morning you usually want it again before the day is done.” He’s so matter of fact about it, like he’s talking about stock rotation at work. David cannot believe this is his life.

“Statistically?” He squawks objectionably. If he doesn’t nip this in the bud now who knows how far Patrick will take it. “Are you seriously talking about statistics while you’re three knuckles deep in me?”

[The idea of Patrick carrying around anticipatory lube is v amusing to me.]

dessert

“Use your words, honey.”

He can’t.

There’s a gag in his mouth, suffocating and subduing.

His lips stretch too thin, jaw locked too tight.

Saliva drips from his chin and pools between his sore knees.

I'll no pressure tag @ramonaflow @beaiola @chelle-68 @jamilas-pen @smallumbrella369

@mostlyinthemorning @obsessedwithdavrick @trickiwooao3 if they have any favourites they'd like to share. 🖤🤍

It took me a week to feel comfortable doing this. The conflicting emotions between pride and amazement that I actually finished writing something with the crippling fear of being so shit actually, is so strong that picking favourite parts of my stories is a lot. You know when you see someone proud about something that objectively is in fact really bad and you're just embarrassed for them? That's how I feel. Why am I like this?

[sc-passions-and-pastimes]

COMING SOON: P&P23

The people have spoken...

And 93% of the people want to see Passions & Pastimes return, so here we are!

P&P23 Important Dates:

Prompting Opens: July 7

Prompts Close & Claims Open: July 21

Works Due: September 22

Works Posted: September 25-29

[stereopticons]

a long winter of indifference [david/patrick, T, 1.7k]

The resulting infinitesimal shift in their marriage grew and swelled with each little stressor—the anemic sales throughout December putting a strain on their savings, the damage the cottage sustained in an early January snowstorm, all the little swipes and jabs they’ve taken at each other in the intervening months—and now David is staring at the rigid line of his husband’s back, afraid that something’s been irreparably damaged.

[smblmn]

You dropped this

My first 5+1 fic! Enjoy!

“You dropped this” reads the post-it note stuck to the snippy guy’s card. A card that the snippy guy himself just slid on the table where David was peacefully eating until his disruption. And now, the snippy guy is looking down at him from where he’s standing beside David’s booth, wearing a sort-of-smile that is, unfortunately, not not doing things for him. “I didn’t drop it,” David replies, chin lifted upwards in defiance. “I threw it away.” “Ah.” Snippy guy sits down across from him, even though David didn’t invite him to, and grins –the audacity of this guy is astounding– “Then that’s littering, and not very nice of you.”

[missgeevious]

Holiday/Winter Fics

Thanks to @mostlyinthemorning for tagging me to share my holiday fics. I stretched this to include wintertime stories as well.

Hurt for the Holidays David and Patrick meet by accident on Christmas Eve. (Featuring Patrick flirting while under the influence.)

Nothing About This Was Proper Bear Grylls once told David that body heat is the best cure for hypothermia. He never thought he’d have a reason to use that knowledge, but he’s here now. (Featuring wet boys trying to get warm.)

Snow Day If you are looking for a short, snuggly story that is so sweet it'll give you a cavity, this is your fic. (Featuring fireside wrestling and egregious use of Mariah.)

Thank God. It's You. David finds more than he expected at a bathhouse. (Featuring the author reeeeeaaalllly stretching to include this as a holiday fic.)

*naked jake included only to get your attention (i do not apologize)

Tagging @rmd-writes @codswalloping @doublel27 @orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and anyone else who wants to share their holiday/winter fics.

[wordthieve]

I've been writing. No, really. I'm actually feeling interested and doing the work and it's coming together. Slowly, but it is. Anyway, here's a snippet.

The first print is done. Clipping it to the line, David stands back to view the slowly sharpening image of a grinning Patrick. White teeth bite down onto the edge of his jacket collar. Laugh lines stretch out in tributaries from where one eye is squeezed shut in a wink; the other eye looks right at David.

For a long time, David looks back. He pulls in a lungful of air and lets it out slowly, cautiously.

It’s Patrick, he thinks. Something about Patrick is making him feel a little … wobbly. Like he’s looking at David instead of the plates he's spinning.

He’s not sure why that thought sends a shiver up his spine.

He tells himself he doesn’t have the energy for a hookup. That Patrick probably wouldn’t want one. He doesn’t seem the type.

He’s still trying to get a handle on what Patrick’s type is.

The thing is, all the interview clips he’s pulled on Patrick seem to use some variation of the same phrase, referring in one way or another to his boy-next-door charm. David gets it—it’s an easy descriptor to fall back on, and it’s not a million miles off.

Except …

He looks up at the print again. It winks right back at him.

To paraphrase a film he knows very, very well: boys next door don’t look at you like that.

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Farm witch friends, you have done the coven proud.

We've got so many good recs it's going to take a few weeks to share them all!

Starting with these that were recommended more than once, if you haven't spend some time with these fan favorites, you should check them out now! And leave the authors some love, of course.

========

Everyday Magic (houdini74/@mostlyinthemorning)

Each magic story is so unique, so sweet, so... D&P! 

I couldn’t pick just one of these wonderfully variable scenarios that all include just a little (or maybe a lot of) magic added to the perfect scene setting and banter. 

Favored Nations (@blueink3)

ALL OF IT! It’s my go-to when I’m feeling down, when I need to revise our boys. The characters, writing, and plot are all amazing. 

Amazing world building, very in character slow burn.

The ultimate slow burn, the perfect love story set amongst the wonders of Broadway and NYC.

It’s just so, so good!  I am a sucker for secret romance fics, and this one has that and so much more.  Add in some Shakespearean theater with a twist and just the right amount of angst and sexiness, it’s just perfect! I love it so much.  

This author knows David, Patrick, and the NY theater world inside and out. The volume and level of specificity, volume, tenderness, anxiety, and love of these characters and worlds is astounding. The characterization is so vivid, it's the easiest fic to forget isn't canon.

Fifteen hundred miles (morehuman)

I go back to this fic a lot! I just love the idea of them both challenging themselves and finding out what they are capable of.

The most incredible journey, a gift to go along with them in it.

I carry these heart-shapes only for you (@ladyflowdi and @ships-to-sail)

I love this transportative, visual feast of historic fiction. Luscious WW2 Paris is so vividly portayed and David’s wild, wealthy, LGBTIQ+out flamboyance juxtaposed to the farm-boy turned military-man Patrick is sexy and sweet. It undoes me every time. I actually first came to the piece via FairManor’s outstanding podfic. Both the text and the podfic are high art. It’s not just one of my favorite fan-fics. It’s one of my favorite stories of ALL time in any genre. I read/listen and I am at the Gaston, riding on the back of Patrick’s motorcycle, kissing in windmills, eating crepes, touring junk shops & dancing naked to 40’s blues. I’d give anything to see this as a film with Dan & Noah & cast. I want a leather bound print copy of it. Also - The epilogue is progressive, heartbreaking thoughtful genius. I’ve just finished rereading & listening to it again. Each time there are new Easter eggs to be found. Joyous. 

It's just the most beautiful piece of writing ever written. Descriptive, lyrical, hot, stunning, heartbreaking. It has everything. 

I’d swing with you for the fences (@nontoxic-writes)

Achingly sweet and fluffy all set in the perfect baseball/famous AU with secret relationship AND musician Patrick. I come back to reread this one a lot!

What isn't there to love?  Baseball, long distance relationship, sex, songs, coming out to the parents, coming out to the team, coming out to the world, excellent use of side characters....I could go on and on.  There are so many amazing fics out there, but I've read this one at least a dozen times! 

Incorrect (@lisamc-21)

You can hear David saying it, but now picture the Maldives.

A beautifully written story of our boys meeting on vacation. Their trip is so sweet and so hot, and when they say goodbye, it's heartbreaking. The twist- they are both famous in their own worlds but don’t recognize each other so don’t realize who the other has hooked up with. When their week ends, they try to maintain a long-distance friendship as they learn who the other is. What was a hot hookup becomes a slow burn, and it’s amazing!!

The Last Rose Video (@distractivate)

Gorgeous writing, the perfect mix of canon and AU, clever plot, great dialogue.  The fic I read over and over.  It’s as comforting as a warm blanket. 

Swoon. SWOON.

Strike Anywhere (@madlori)

Hot firefighters. Hot sex. Hot romance. But like in a Sandra loves Keanu sliding out of a speeding bus kind of way.

Hot hot hot!  That’s the first work. Then- the author developed a prequel that is also hot but is also funny, loving, sweet. Love fireman Patrick!

This enemies-to-lovers-to-secret-husbands story featuring Patrick Brewer as a firefighter, is deliciously tropey and blazing hot, but also it’s written with such authentic emotion and perfect banter that it keeps me coming back to read it whenever I need a mood lift. 

Such great heights (@likerealpeopledo-on-ao3)

Great story, the very best jokes, and the wedding date chapter is so good it would work as a stand alone fic. 

It's got the mother of all fake dating scenarios, and Stevie in this in among the best I've ever read her. It's also very very funny. All the times when they say Feel The Air crack me up every time!

Sustineo (@rockinhamburger)

This is a perfectly paced one-shot AU that builds a world in which David is a brilliant, stormy, reclusive artist whose whose treatment by the press (and one Sebastien Raine) has made him unwilling to engage with the world…. Until he meets an intuitive and kind art writer who sees him for everything that he is (and can be). All of characters here are perfect and I love the descriptions of David’s art. 

Incredibly hot art fic.

You can fall (sweetsirius/@wordthieve)

It takes the David and Patrick rescue each other theme of the show and makes the stakes even higher. Plus it's just a genuinely beautiful piece of writing.

The story arc and pacing are fantastic. I love how David and Patrick's relationship develops and how Patrick learns to open himself up again after grief. It's incredibly well written. I've read it so many times, from full read thrus to dipping in and out of my favorite moments and chapters.

Patrick is so heartbroken, but then he meets David. So romantic, and feels lived in.

[sits-bound]

Bound: You Can Fall by @wordthieve

Yay, the author copy finally arrived at its destination, so I can post about this bind that I did earlier this month.

Well, first of all, this is one of my favorite fics, definitely in the top 3 of Schitt's Creek fics. The angst is top notch. It was always on my list to bind, so I'm happy to have it on my shelf now.

And, as a bonus, I included the chapters from the follow-up fic that fit in between the chapters of You Can Fall.

The cover for this is paper (with a cloth spine) and I love the freedom that gives me with the design. I laser printed heavy paper and foiled the design.

God, I love those endpapers. (Ink Drops by Craft Consortium)

Fonts used:

Titles and chapter heads and drop caps: Chandler42 Body text: Corundum Text my beloved

[schittscreekficrec]

Did you make a resolution to read more fic in 2024? Let us help you out with some recommendations from @scfrozenover! This was a great fest, gifting us with fantastic content to spend our holidays with. Thanks to the mods and writers and podficcers for bringing us so much wonderful content!

A Cold Winter's Night by TrueIllusion @trueillusion82 [david/patrick, T, one shot]

Merry Christmas, David Rose by lonely_ampersand @smblmn [david/patrick, E, one shot]

Late Fees and Future Dreams by @queenmabcreates [Patrick & Johnny, G, one shot]

Unexpected Places by iola17 @beaiola [david/patrick, M, one shot]

A Rose for Christmas by @lizzie-bennetdarcy [david/patrick, M, one shot]

Holiday Rosé by AuthorByNight @wearpersistencewell [david/patrick, T, one shot]

You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination by Characterassassination @characterassassination-at-9am [david/patrick, T, one shot]

A Schitty Blizzard Chronicle by @sasstrick [david/patrick, E, one shot]

Picture This by Turkey_Virgin @tyfinn [david/patrick, T, one shot]

@stereopticons also participated in the fest:

we’ll take a cup of kindness yet [david & rachel, G, one shot]

We hope you have a great 2024!

[stargazer56]

Something Blue, day 2

I commented on 6 fics today. A few I had previously read and kudosed, but had not left a comment (I'm assuming from my early days in the fandom when I was too scared to comment).

I'm too tired to post links and summaries, but here is today's list.

Blue Hydrangeas by @mammameesh

All the Blue Shirts by FrizzleNox

heart of blue by LoveAndAttention

Silver & Gold by thelightwitch

It's Excel-lent by @stereopticons

How You Know by Distractivate

What did everyone else read today?

[flowertrigger]

Schitt's Creek Coloured Themed Drabble Challenge - Blue

The stocky man had been defensive—fists raised, eyes blazing. But now he’s a limpet in David’s arms all heaving breaths and rapid heartbeats, pupils wide with fear as he struggles to fight off the Compulsion.

He smells delicious.

The thick blue vein is stark against the milky white column of his throat, bulging and ripe for the taking. The sweat he licks up is salty, tainted with terror, panic, disbelief and the long finish of confused arousal.

David smirks.

With honed precision his fangs pierces yielding flesh and the loud carnal moan from his victim drowns out David’s own.

Also up on my ao3.