#scotlan is noe

[nyaheum]

My Eurovision 2019 Ranking

Info: I grouped some lower places together, simply because I really dislike some songs and have no strong opinion on some others. This is basically five groups of songs I didn’t like or don’t care about too much and then a top sixteen ranking.

41 to 34) Songs I really, really don’t like at all.

Germany [S!sters - Sister] - This song actually isn’t that bad. It’s alright. I’m just mad that it won the national contest, because we had two much better songs competing - or at least I thought they were much better. I also think it’s a bit weird that they call themselves ‘Sisters’ even though they’ve only known each other for a few months (if I remember correctly)

Czech Republic [Lake Malawi - Friend Of A Friend] - I’m sure there’s a lot of people who really like this song, because they usually like the music that’s on the radio and such. I really dislike this song. It annoys me so much. I also dislike his talking-part a lot...also the high pitched voice in the chorus? I just really dislike everything about this, honestly. (Especially considering I loved Mikolas’ song last year.) The video is kinda cool, but that doesn’t matter live.

Slovenia [Zala Kralj & Gasper Santl - Sebi] - This will sound weird, but the music video looks like those russian meme-y ones. Apart from that, there’s not enough happening here for me. It’s straight up boring. Usually, I’m into songs sung in the native language, but...I guess this song has a message, but I don’t get it because I don’t speak Slovene, and therefore I’m left with a pretty boring song where I can’t even concentrate on the lyrics.

Denmark [Leonora - Love Is Forever] - First of all: why is she partly singing in French? (Language of love, and she’s also saying some stuff in other languages, I know - but still). Second of all: the way she’s looking at the camera for the first thirty seconds is making me incredibly uncomfortable. Third of all: It’s a pretty boring love song. Meh. The only thing I like is the fact that she’s sitting there next to a guy AND a girl, but I might just be interpreting a bit too much into that.

Moldova [Anna Odobescu - Stay] - This is the kind of song I’d turn off the radio for. The music video also has this very weird slow motion thing going on which is very distracting and very ridiculous. It makes no sense too - I’m speaking about the guy who leaves his turned on car here. What’s up with him. Oh, and the song is a break-up song, oh no. Her vocals are pretty nice, although there’s some parts near the end where she sounds very weird and I really dislike that.

Lithuania [Jurij Veklenko - Run With The Lions] - On the one hand, the song it pretty interesting. In theory. On the other hand, I really don’t like his voice? It sounds pretty strained on the high parts. And, after the chorus is over for the first time, I feel like the song loses it’s appeal. The first time, the pitch changes are interesting, but the second time, they just seem a bit...meh. I also don’t want to run with lions, as they tend to be kinda dangerous, but thank you anyway, Jurij.

North Macedonia [Tamara Todevska - Proud] - Listen, the message of the song is definitely something good. Doesn’t change the fact that I dislike the song though. There’s not a lot happening and I feel compared to the ‘epicness’ of the music, her voice is a bit...uninteresting. Don’t get me wrong, she has a good, strong voice, but I feel like it doesn’t really fit with the instrumental. I like the music video, because there’s definitely a lot of different women shown, but I’m unsure how she wants to show this live on stage. (The wind blowing is also a bit much for me.).

Montenegro [D mol - Heaven] - Nothing Montenegro does will ever be as good as Slavko in 2017 - other than that, it’s a love song. Yay. It’s pretty boring. I don’t really hate it, which is why it’s right at the bottom of this category, but I also can’t get myself to like it. Usually, I really love string instruments in modern songs, but the cello in this...sounds off to me. (I’m no musician, so I wouldn’t know for sure, but I personally just dislike it here).

33 and 32) Songs I dislike, but not passionately.

San Marino [Serhat - Say Na Na Na] - I’m always here for San Marino doing weird shit, but this is weird in all the wrong ways. Serhat and his accent are creeping me out, honestly. I also feel like he’s twenty years older than any woman in this video. I also feel like this song had potential, but it just straight up vanished sometime during the creative process. The lyrics are weird too, but I don’t hate it. I can listen to it...once.

Norway [KEiiNO - Spirit In The Sky] - Usually, this would be the kind of song I’d at least put in my Top 20, but there’s something about it I dislike. I can’t even pinpoint exactly what it is, I’m just not here for it.

31 to 26) Songs I don’t care about, in a negative way.

United Kingdom [Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us] - Oh, UK. Back with the generic songs I cannot like because I’m not a big fan of generic songs. It’s alright - his voice is nice, even though it feels like it’s lacking a bit during the chorus? It just sounds like the Instrumental is overpowering him a bit live. At this point, I have also seen the “#ScotlandIsNow”-Ad ten times and am fed up with the UK.

Serbia [Nevena Bozovic - Kruna] - It’s a ballad. Yay. Ballads are boring, I feel like everyone who isn’t the Jury can agree on that. She has a nice voice, which is why I don’t really mind the song - but I wouldn’t add it to my Spotify-Playlist.

Estonia [Victor Crone - Storm] - It’s a guy with medium length hair and a guitar! Hide your sons and daugthers! But in all seriousness, I don’t care about this song either. It’s something I’d hear in the radio and wouldn’t skip, but I would think “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind it to be over now, thanks.”. 

Latvia [Carousel - That Night] - She sounds like a german actress whose name I can’t remember right now, that’s all I can think about. Well, apart from the fact that the songs feels pretty generic. To be honest, it sounds a bit like Eurovision 2014 (except for France, Armenia, Iceland (y’all, Pollapönk was so good) and Poland). Yeah.

Sweden [John Kundvik - Too Late For Love] - I like the Gospel-thing he has going on, but I don’t like the song itself. I’m just not a fan of songs where the pre-chorus is slower than the rest of the song when they immediately continue singing in the chorus? It’s weird to describe, but a lot of songs do this and I basically dislike all of them.

Croatia [Roko - The Dream] - I actually don’t like this song at all. But I love his goddamn wings, so I tolerate it. I’m a huge supporter of weird Eurovision and this is definitely what I needed this year. We always need someone in a weird costume. (Like vampire-opera-man from Romania in 2013.)

25 to 21) Songs I don’t care about, period.

Finland [Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away] - I’m all here for the meme, but nothing more. The stage performance looks really cool, but I couldn’t care less about the song. There’s not much happening, and the drop is...lacking, at best.

Belgium [Eliot - Wake Up] - Catch me scroll through my phone during the whole duration of this song. It’s a good background noise, but I don’t particularly like it. I’m also still bitter Belgium didn’t win in 2015; they haven’t made it up to me yet when it comes to songs, and this one definitely doesn’t help either.

Austria [PAENDA - Limits] - There’s literally only one things I can say about this whole song: meh. (No, really, I have no feelings towards this song.)

Netherlands [Duncan Laurence - Arcade] - I like the floating-naked-underwater-aesthetic, but I don’t think he can do this live on stage... Song wise, I don’t really care - it’s somewhat nice - I like the start of the chorus, the short ‘boom’-moment, but that’s pretty much it.

Israel [Kobi Marimi - Home] - Okay, I’ll admit it’s hard to follow chicken dances and an absolute party on stage. But I don’t think a very slow song is the right choice. I definitely like his voice and he reminds me of someone so much, but I can’t think of the name. Generally, it’s pretty nice, but I wouldn’t vote for it.

20 to 17) Songs that are alright, but nothing more.

Belarus [ZENA - Like It] - It’s modern with a very very slight traditional touch, which I like, but the song doesn’t really go further for me. I feel like it should qualify for the final, but shouldn’t place high. At least it’s something modern...

Poland [Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali sie)] - It’s a bit weird, but I like it, I guess. I’m not sure if I like it, to be honest. I need to hear this one live. Depending on the live performance, this one could go up a few places or down a lot. It’s borderline annoying me, so it’s pretty hard actually judging this. I like the general sound of the song though. (There’s something about this music video that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but I don’t know what it is. Might just me being me.)

Georgia [Oto Nemsadze - Sul tsin iare] - He looks so grim, oh my god. I really like his voice, which is why he’s in this category, because I don’t really like the song all that much. It’s alright, definitely, and it might warm up to me - this type of song usually does - but currently I’m undecided.

Ireland [Sarah McTernan - 22] - It’s definitely alright. I mean, it’s still a love song, but most songs are, and at least this one has some things happening. The chorus is pretty catchy, although I was waiting for a bit more after the build-up.

16) Romania [Ester Peony - On A Sunday] - That music video is so confusing - when I first saw snippets from it, I thought it was a stage performance. The song itself is confusing me too - it’s weird, so I like it (like most songs from Romania, tbh) but it’s nearly a bit too much for me? I need to see this live, but so far, I’m optimistic about this one. 

15) Greece [Katerine Duska - Better Love] - I’m so here for the aesthetic. I really like her voice, it has this slight twang to it that I really like. I like that it’s very obvious outside of the chorus, but absent during the chorus. It gives the song in itself a nice contrast. Generally, it’s not exciting enough for my Top 10, but I definitely like it.

14) Albania [Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokes] - She’s singing in her native language, which is always a big plus for me. The song is a bit creepy and it has something I always call “ancient”, because I can’t describe it better. It sounds like they might’ve sung it a while back, only with a modern twist. Which means I automatically like it. (It’s also giving me strong 1944 (the song) vibes, just putting this out there.)

13) Azerbaijan [Chingiz - Truth] - And here we have our second guy floating through the water. I’m noticing a theme here. Both video and song are really weird for me here, and I cannot quite place why I like this, but I do. I’m pretty sure this will drop a bit once I hear it live though - I feel like it will be hard to not be overpowered by the music with the high voice he’s singing in during the chorus. He might surprise me though, so I’m placing the song here.

12) Hungary [Joci Pápai - Az én apám] - I was really happy when I heard he’d return, and although I actually prefer his first Eurovision song to this one, this is by no means bad. It’s actually pretty good, I definitely enjoy it. Bonus points for native language yet again; also, his voice is amazing, but I knew that already. I really like the whistling part in this.

11) Cyprus [Tamta - Replay] - Cyprus realized that they did something right last year and are sending another fun party song. I liked Fuego more than this one, although they sound pretty similar. The beat in this is pretty great though. (I feel like the thing I really liked about Fuego was Eleni’s hair, a department in which Tamta can’t compete, but...oh well. She looks so good for 38 btw.) 

TOP 10

10) Spain [Miki - La Venda] - Another fun song! You might notice I prefer these over the ballads a lot. This song really feels like summer - it basically sounds like Spain. I really like this for no deep reason - it’s just fun to listen to. Spain also deserves some love in Eurovision.

9) Switzerland [Luca Hänni - She Got Me] - Okay, so, as a German, I know who Luca Hänni is. He’s the only singer I’ve heard something about before the competition. And I wasn’t expecting anything. But hey, our boy grew up, didn’t he? I like this song quite a bit, for some reason. I feel like it’s been on the radio over here before and I’ve been conditioned to like it, but I can live with that. I also like his suit. I want it. (I’m also a sucker for dance sequences, so if they put that into the live performance, I might even move this up a bit. I’m sold.).

8) Portugal [Conan Osiris - Telemóveis] - Portugal thought: "Okay, we had a very heartfelt, serious song with minimal stage performance. We don’t want that anymore.” So they glued some spoons on a guys face, put him and his platonic male friend into feather suits and made them dance. As I said, I’m fully here for weird Eurovision, and I love traditional-ish songs, so I’m very into this. I actually really like the song, all jokes aside. This might actually be one of my Top Three stage performances. I just hope they qualify so I can see them in all their glory in the final. (Them and all their silverware.)

7) Australia [Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity] - I have complicated feelings towards this song. It’s very clearly inspired by Estonias song last year - only that they made it more modern. I actually really enjoy the first two minutes of the song. If it was just that, I would’ve been inclined to put it in my Top Three. But then there’s the last minute. It’s way too many different voices and different music at once. I feel like it doesn’t quite fit. I’m still hoping they’ll fix that part for the semi-finals, because I really can’t stand it. 

6) Armenia [Srbuk - Walking Out] - This song is the kind of music I usually listen to in my free time, so I obviously like it. I’m also really into the aesthetic. I just feel like the chorus could’ve used a bit more drama. Especially a different “drop” - they already did the pause before it, they might as well commit to it fully. Otherwise, I really like this. (And damn, those trumpets(?) were made for me.)

5) Malta [Michela - Chameleon] - I really have a soft spot for Malta. I’m just really glad to have a real party song among ballads and sad songs. I might be influenced by the music video here because I really like lyrics on screen by default, but we’ll see how this song sounds live. Depending on that, it might move down. (I feel like this will either do really well or really bad though.)

4) Russia  [Sergey Lazarev - Scream] - Okay, I loved his song back in 2016, so I am, again, biased, but I like it. It’s not quite as catchy as some of his other songs, but his voice sounds really good in this. I also really hope they will incorporate the imagery from the music video into the live performance, because it’s really nice.

3)  France [Bilal Hassani - Roi] - At first, I didn’t like this song at all, but it really warmed up to me. He has a nice voice - I only hope he can fully show it live, because I already felt that the music video version sounded a lot better than the live version I saw. But the chorus of this song is stuck in my head. I also love the mixture of English and French - especially because it’s full sentences in both languages, and not only single words. (I can’t stand that.). I’m probably biased here because I speak French, so I understand everything (as opposed to the Slovene song for example) but...damn, I really like this song. (It took me really long to realize that his hair was a wig, by the way. I just thought he naturally had Jeffree Star hair.)  

2) Iceland [Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra] - I can’t really explain myself here. This song is absolute madness and I’d be surprised if it survived through the semi-final. But they might surprise us and do what Lordi did before them. Honestly, it’s really refreshing Eurovision-wise and I’m so here for the Icelandic-metal-screaming. And yes, it’s another aesthetic-thing here. I just can’t help myself. (I’m also hearing “Aufstehen” in the end and I’m just wondering if that means “Stand up” in Icelandic...)

1) Italy [Mahmood - Soldi] - Honestly, Mahmood has no contest for me. This song is everything I ever wanted and more. It’s way too good for Eurovision, if that makes sense. There’s just nothing that bothers me about this song. The chorus sounds so incredibly good and the live vocals I heard from him sound so stable? I really hope they won’t do Italy dirty like they did with Occidentali’s Karma. This song is just way too good to go to waste on lower places. Did I mention I absolutely love this song? Oh, and native language bonus, of course! As if I could love this song any more.