#screaming crying throwing up i cant deal with this. sorry this is all fucking nonsense i prommy i actually have good thoughts on things

[melto]

good lord maybe im just a little crazy but bad buddy really just. god. my homosexual bestie pran has really really gotten to me. literally something something about the cycle of fated love and doom.

like. i think most people agree that the thing that sticks out with bad buddy compared to others that it does such a good job with showing that characters have a history together rather than just saying it and putting none of the work in it really does feel like pat and pran have known each other for so long and that they are so integral to one another outside of the basic haha they have been rivals since birth because their parents hate each other and all with like. idk other shows that want us to believe people have had this long and impactful relationship it is rarely there. like the people are literally strangers and nothing about their shared history has truly effected one another but pat and pran do very clearly remember each other in a way that informs how they act towards one another, you can see why they argue the way they do but also now why it is so easy for them to actually get along and be friendly

it especially shines with pran because he is so genuinely affected by things, because its always been him who's life getting all fucked up because of things that happen between him and pat like in the ep when he's just. miserable and crying under that bed while pat's dad is just going off about how 3 years ago pran always was following pat around and copying him and saying how he's just an awful and jealous boy and like pat's not agreeing but its been said, and even if pat doesnt believe that its something that pran does seem to believe, because he takes the blame and says its true and he's sorry and that he will leave so that he doesnt cause issues again which is like. god. and then the flashback happens about their misunderstanding 3 years ago with them getting along, even being more than friendly. its that exact thing pat's dad is calling pran jealous for and they are doing it together knowingly and having fun with it and then suddenly it gets ruined with parents showing up and pran's being transferred while pat stays and even though the flashback only shows pat being blamed by their friends for pran having to leave its so clear that pran feels the other way around, because he had to leave and he always needs to be ready to leave because he's the real problem and pat has seemed unaffected every time by whats happening so it has to be him like im assuming he wasnt supposed to play at the concert with pat specially and then being friends/in love with him ofc too but pran like going against his parents to do that with pat and all.

its something that has affected the way pran still is today, clearly, and the way pat responds is informed by that same history and it shows! their shared history has such a weight with it to them and they literally cant seem to escape each other (from birth, everything that happened in their childhood, pran transferring back without knowing theyd be at the same college, their friend groups always at each others throats, living across the hall from one another, etcetcetc) and they know that they will never be able to get away from one another but they are also scared that history will continue to repeat itself and they will be punished for their proximity to each other and the fondness but they cant do anything about it, because the connection is supposed to be there and they want it so bad but they feel doomed about what that means and like with them always saying stuff like you're my bad luck it always happens when i'm with you its just. they are so aware of it but truly arent making any moves to stop it from happening like always.

they’ve been forced to be rivals since birth so the only time they were ever allowed to spend together was when they were competing so its something that has become so truly important for both of them but neither are able to come out and say it. its all about this fucking competition its all about how their relationship is supposed to be all competing its all about how the love they shared in the last cycle was ruined at a music competition in highschool its all about well maybe maybe this time it will turn out different. there is just something so overwhelming for both of them AND me with them feeling like they are fated to be together but doomed to repeat a cycle that will never allow them to be.

and literally like everything i learn about pran and pat’s like shared history makes me evil. everything is so much. the fact they used to have a cans on a string to talk and pat’s kept it still despite pran being gone for 3 years and just threw it thru his window bcuz pran wldnt pick up his calls. pat keeping pran’s guitar safe all these years and waiting to give it back to him to see if he missed it missed playing wanted it back (easily read as if pran missed him missed what they had wanted him back). pat trying to make pran a guitar pick out of his student id and when pran wouldnt let him making it out of his own bcuz he really didnt want pran to get hurt (and it specifically being of his face which is just :|). pran’s repeated jealously over the same girl with pat, the flashback of him being so !!! when pat was like i’ll see you there and him getting that second drink only to hand both away to the first person he sees bcuz pat is in with her and he wasnt waiting specifically for pran like he had hoped. etcetc.

and then with ink... there is something that is just so much about her being introduced to be a point of conflict giving pran a bracelet she wanted to give him back then before he moved away and also having given pat one years ago so now they have matching ones with little 'p' charms followed by pran asking her if she liked pat and her saying no and that hes just a friend like pran and when she asks if pran wanted to know so he could hit on her and he avoids answering and struggles to find a reason as to why he wouldnt want to hit on her as an excuse because he cant just. come out and say why without having to truly confirm that he’s gay and has feelings for pat (which. basically happens at the end of this ep to himself. kms)

and the. god the ending of ep 4. i feel like shit!!! i really do!!! like them both asking if the other likes ink and pran is obviously so worried about the answer but so is pat and pran really thinks that the reason pat is worried is the same reason that pran is but the countdown happens and pran says no while pat says yes and pran just. seems so devastated. and then pat goes on to try and ask that if pran was her if he would like him and pran is like no you dont have good qualities why would i.

and then pat starts listing off things he's done for pran, rather than things that are just good about himself in general (which is like dude. cmon. even if pat doesnt really realize he wants to know if pran as himself would like him bcuz well. ur in love with him and u want him to like you back) and he keeps pushing it while pran is having flashbacks from highschool to present of all those moments and his eyes are glassy and pat is pushing and pushing would you like me would you like me and pran just goes i... hate you. and turns around

and for a moment it seems like pat is heartbroken bcuz for a second he really thought he would get the answer he wanted to hear much like pran before but he snaps back so fast and starts going like okay dude so mean<3 and says 'even i like myself' (which, arough bcuz pran very obviously hates himself and a handful of it stems from everything that has happened surrounding pat bcuz hes the one who has been punished the most by it all. i have a lot of thoughts about it obvi and im suffering) and then after a few seconds pran turns back around to look at pat and he's literally. you can see he started crying and then he covers his face to keep crying.

it sucks it sucks!!! he really thought for a moment that pat felt the same way back and then it felt like he was being mocked and he feels stupid and heartbroken bcuz for pran, the cycles of fated love and doom that come with his feelings towards pat is a one sided thing. its always completely his fault in his mind bcuz again, he's the one who's always losing. he had to move away, he's the one who's in love with him, he's the one who's misreading signals, he's the one who's like this while pat is just living his life and pran is what is causing all the problems bcuz the problem is and always will be pran's one sided feelings for pat. even if its like not true really, thats what is and always has been true to pran and i feel like shit and i wanna scream.

this is like probably incomprehensible nonsense i am just constantly full of feelings and thoughts about the cycles and fate and love and doom and my homosexual bestie pran.

[drterminal]

the umbrella academy s1 reactions - part 3

lets go umbrella gang!

part 1: https://casey-brinkes.tumblr.com/post/182841103516/umbrella-academy-s1-reactions-part-1

part 2: https://casey-brinkes.tumblr.com/post/182861701786/umbrella-academy-s1-reactions-part-2-ep-2-3

this part covers episodes 4 through 7 uwu

EPISODE FOUR

- i love how pogo’s just ready,,, holding the serum,,, hsbjndfhn

- luther “okay so basically,, im monky” hargreeves

- “poor diego” hahaha if only you knew

- luther is so edgy sdhjbfkksfhbdns 

- “for one day i think you'll be fine” SHUT UP LEONARD MEDS ARE IMPORTANT!!!!

- leonard is really pushing his relationship w vanya and I Don't Like It

- i hope the rest of the fandom hates leonard as much as i do

- “no wonder we didnt last” were diego and eudora in a relationship in the past??????? did they really make police mans a woman to give diego a relationship??? 

- why does this show make everything romantic

- like i get luther/allison bc that was a thing in the comics (which i don't like anyway), but vanya/leonard and diego/eudora make me ://////

- leonard’s being a creepy weirdo again but when isn't he

- diego i know you have a rivalry with your brother but calling him a monster is a little too far

- oh shit they got the eyes

- okay but. how do they think hazel and cha-cha killed grace?? they didn’t know she was a robot (the academy obviously doesn't know this but their kills aren’t clean. just look at their victims later in the episode)

- NYFSJKDHBD NUMBER FIVE PASSED OUT WITH DELORES

- “you know what’s funny? i'm going through puberty. twice” trans people be like

- IOHDFNSFGFREIOGLFJ HE TOOK HER FUCKING MEDS

- FUCK LEONARD LIVES

- EUDORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- klaus winking at the lady on the bus hjsndshfb

- “YOU THROW ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN KNIVES AT ME, I’M PRESSING CHARGES”

- HBDNSFJSB LUTHER PATTING DELORES

EPISODE FIVE

- oh look its kate walsh

- i love my angry boy, diego hargreeves

- so the handler = carmichael??

- okay so the whole deal with the handler and the kennedy assassination is weird because in dallas number five is trying to stop his older self from killing the people involved in the kennedy assassination bc tua takes place in this alternate universe where kennedy never died (bc older five stopped them) BUT in that timeline the world ends bc kennedy meets hargreeves and gives him nukes and the nukes end up in hazel and cha-cha’s hands and they go boom SO in order to make sure the world doesn’t end allison assassinates kennedy. but in the netflix show kennedy dies? i think? bc older five never stopped the assassins bc he wanted to get back to his time? so i don’t know how that’s going to work. of course things are VERY different from the comics and im aware of that but im just wondering how shit is gonna work out with everything changed yknow. SORRY FOR THE HUGE PARAGRAPH 

- DID VANYA JUST FUCKING PUT SALT IN HER COFFEE???? (update: yes she did)

- these dumbasses and their food choices (vanya was just out of it BUT DIEGO AND KLAUS WERE NOT)

- YES POGO PLEASE SAVE GRACE

- “you know i can't drive” that's how u know klaus is really lgbt

- i also love klaus and diego’s relationship

- “wearing grace’s heels” klaus hargreeves, a nonbinary icon since age twelve

- is klaus okay???? like there’s all this shit that’s already happened to him PLUS now he has ptsd from war and a dead boyfriend

- i love hazel not being able to comprehend peaceful bird watching

- agnes is iconic

- FUCK NUMBER FIVE WHY

- F U C K

- IS THAT FUCKING BEN’S BODY WHAT HEUFJC

- THE B OO K

- MOTHERFUCKER

- no. what i think is about to happen better not fucking happen

- OKAY SO WHAT I WAS THINKING DIDNT HAPPEN BUT I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED INSTEAD

- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH GRACE AND POGO

EPISODE SIX

- the little scream when the umbrella popped in hfjdksfk

- “terminate hazel” OH NOOOOO

- @ comic fans did y'all notice the temps aeternalis masks on the wall of the briefcase room

- VNAYAAYD ADNJK POWERS. VANYA. POWERS.

- yay hazel is alive! thank u cha-cha

- but im interested in what actually made her not kill him. cha-cha’s the no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase one. she wouldn’t hesitate in terminating someone for the commission, so why hesitate now? because hazel’s been her parter for, hell, who knows how long? or did he sway her in his little speech?

- let me tell you i love analyzing this series

- BHDSJAKKHBFKJNSFB JNS JNAFSNJKAL DIEGO SUPPORTING HIS BROTHER WITHOUT HESITATION!!!!!!! “well dave must have been a very special person to put up with all your weird-ass shit” DO YOU HEAR ME CRYING

- “what an asshole” we been knew buddy

- “to finish the feast” allison. honey. that food has been there for years

- everyone in the academy is an idiot and you know what? that's valid

- OH Y<M GFODPSMF SHES BURNING IT

- diego geniunely cares for klaus. i love them

- THE TRANSITION FROM KLAUS FALLING OVER AAA

- dave D’:

- SHE HAS A PLANE TO GET TO. YALL DONT HAVE TIME TO DANCE

- THE TRANSITIONS IN THIS EPISODE ARE REALLY GOOD THO

- “im an idiot” yes, yes you are. you all are

- OHN YMTNJ FDISJAKNDJFIJOSFBHSDOKSJBH XBJOA CHA-CHA

- FUCKJGIHDFN IMAGINE. CHA-CHA DOESNT HAVE THE GUTS TO KILL HAZEL BUT HAZEL HAS THE GUTS TO KILL HER. IMAGINE

- WHAT A FUCKING POWER MOVE

- the “tough” one can’t kill her partner but the “distracted” one can

- i doubt hazel would go through w it but like. just imagine

- i'm so writing a fic for this now

- SHE IFPOHDJSFBS SHSE FOUND THE BOOK

- D A V E

- SDJFLJKLDLND KILLING HER (she isn't dead tho) WITH HER OWN GRENADES. P O W E R  M O V E

- OH NO EVERYTHING’S FUCKED UP

- HSDBJN “WHO THE HELL IS HAROLD JENKINS”

- but really who the fuck is that

EPISODE SEVEN

- “i'll save you from the evil dr terminal!” 

- HARGREEVES IS SUCH A DICK

- OH MY FUCKIGNF GOD HE JUST MURDERED HIS DAD

- his dad was a dick too but JESUS 

- “money money money money” HBJSDBHKJN KLAUS

- OKAY I SUSPECTED IT BEFORE BUT SJKFDJBFKNKL 

- NO WONDER LEONARD’S SO OBSESSED WITH VANYA

- AND THATS WHY LEONARD HAS NO RECORDS, BC ITS NOT HIS REAL NAME

- LITHERHEORKFJDSLB:UTHER LIUTHER :LUTHER LUTHER 

- PUT KLAUS DOWN

- i LOVE klaus’s relationships w all his brothers 

- SEEING THIS DAY FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE IS SO COOL

- “yeah, he didnt seem dangerous when i first saw him. looked kinda scrawny” “yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. i mean, look at him” “thanks”

- DIEGO JUST BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR SJNDFJKBDLFB

- “you know the door was unlocked?” KSHDFJLFJHBDJLAHsb

- JKHDSJ SHE CANT REACH THE ATTIC

- FIVE YOU DUMB IDIOT TELL YOUR FUCKING SIBLINGS WHEN YOURE DYING

- why does leonard / harold get stuck with such an ugly name BOTH times

- oh god they're kissing

- :(

- this such a good scene tho... (the ben & klaus one)

- LUTHER ARE YOU OKAY?????????????

- “huge fan of the furries” FSHBDJKNBHDKNBHADWKNL

- “WHY’D YOU DO THAT??” “I HAVE NO IDEA”

- klaus :(

- “did you?” “no, no, no, of course not, why would you ask that about me?”

- OH MY GODN IS THIS WHERE KLAUS MEETS COWBOY GOD???

- aw its little girl god not cowboy god

- y'all are missing out in cowboy god

- oh worm leonard’s all beat up BUT. VANYA. POWERS.

[http-peachjimin]

Unrequited

7: Run

You woke up, a crick in your neck and soreness between your legs. You felt stiff as a board and everything seemed to hurt, including your head.

Although it was fall, you felt oddly warm. Why had you been outside anyway? You couldn't remember. Finally mustering the strength to sit up you realized you were naked and on the roof of your and Jimin's favourite hang out spot.

It didn't occur to you what had happened until Jimin sat up as well rubbing his sleepy eyes.

He was naked. You were naked.

No, it couldn't have been, this is impossible...

That's why your parts hurt...

Fuck.

FUCK!

"Ahhh!!!" You screamed, it all clicking to you.

"Y/N?! Why are you naked?!"

"Why are you naked!?" You retorted.

"Well 'cause I.... I can't remember."

You saw the gears in his head turn. Even though you had already figured it out it was too embarrassing to tell him.

"No. W-we didn't do this...right?" He asked confused.

You pointed to your still sticky stomach.

"Unfortunately...the evidence is still here." You cringed, not wanting to touch it.

"Well at least I know how to fucking pull out I guess. For fucks sake... This is bad. Really bad." He grumbled running a stressed hand through his brown hair.

"We have class! Shit what time is it?" You questioned rushing to put your clothes back on.

"Forget it. It's twelve thirty already. There's no point." Jimin stated.

"Do you know how bad this is gonna look?! They're gonna think we fucked!" You cried.

"Technically we did..." He mumbled.

"I know that Jimin! God what am I gonna do? Cheol-min will kill me." You stated.

"Why do you even care about him?" Jimin mumbled under his breath.

"The fuck do you mean?! I cheated on him!" You yelled at Jimin.

"I mean yeah but... You weren't happy with him anyway." He stated.

Had he lost his mind?!

"Jimin!!! I'm a fucking cheater! It doesn't matter that my boyfriend is an asshat! I'm still in the wrong! I'm- I can't, I gotta go get my underwear, I'll be back.

You walked down the old stairs and put on your underwear and pants finally being fully dressed.

Once that was done, you went back to Jimin.

"I'm sorry for speaking nonsense. This really is juat a big mess isn't it?" He chuckled awkwardly.

"It's okay let's just go so that-"

"Freeze!"

You both jumped, almost falling through the hole in the roof.

"You're on private property and you both are supposed to be in school!" The cop yelled at you both.

"We're sorry! We'll be down immediately!" You called.

You pulled Jimin through the hole and down the stairs.

"You kids are in big trouble. What made you think it was okay to skip school? You're Park Jimin and Y/N Y/L, right?"

You nodded and gulped.

"You're looking at... three days of suspension for the both of you." The officer threatened.

Jimin bit his lip and darted his eyes from the cop, to the outstreching road, to his silver vehicle.

Making his final decision, he took your hand and squeezed.

"RUN!!!!" He yelled.

You both bolted down the street and took off.

The cop tried to chase after you but by the time he'd gotten into his vehicle you had shuffled down an ally, making him loose your path.

You panted looking at Jimin.

"W-what the fuck was that for?"

"He can't prove it if he doesn't have us." The boy replied.

"Why would it even matter? We've been suspended before." You pointed out.

You and Jimin used to be a bit more wild in your sophomore days.

"If you wanna go to prom, you can't have any offenses, and I didn't pay 150 dollars for a dress to not fucking go." He grumbled.

What about Jiae? I thought he'd be going to her, not the money he spent on her dress.

Maybe you were over thinking it.

"Come on, we've been here for a solid half hour. I'm sure the cop is gone." He stated and tugged you with him back to his car.

The cop gave Jimin a ticket which he begrudgingly intended to pay and went on his merry way not wanting to deal with two rebel teens.

"I'll drop you at home." Jimin said breaking the silence that had been suffocating you two.

"No. I can't go. I cant go home he'll kill me for sure." You sighed.

"Well... You're welcome at my place, but I cant guarantee it'll be peaceful either."

You nodded.

"What are we gonna do? We either divise a plan or come clean..." You mumbled.

For you, coming clean was hardly even an option. No way in hell were you going to subject yourself to that demon you called your boyfriend.

On the other hand Jimin already got enough yapping as it was. He couldn't stand to hear another jealous, venom coated, envious word come out of her mouth about you nor your relationship.

"So what's the plan?" He questioned, already knowing which route you had chosen.

"I don't know but all that alcohol on an empty stomach is making me-" You bolted out of Jimin's car and got sick in the grass.

"Making me sick. I was going to say making me sick." You complained, the killer headache overtaking you.

"That's it! You got sick!"

"Yeah asshole, as if you didn't just see me puke on an ant hill." You grumbled, making your way back to the carseat.

"No I mean, I'll say I arrived late to school and saw you running in the girl's bathroom and a wretching noise soon after. And since your parents don't live with you, I decided as your bestfriend to take care of you." He stated his well formulated plan.

"Okay, so what do we do right now?" You asked still burbbleing on the verge of vomiting once more.

"I get you to my place. You are sick after all. And I really would like you to not throw up in my car." He chuckled pulling out of his space.

Once there, Jimin carried you inside, grateful you didn't blow chuncks in his vehicle and safely put you on the couch, with a clean garbage bin of course.

Jimin, although it may not seem like it from his small stature, was really good at holding his alcohol, even if he drank to much.

You on the other hand wanted to be that one hard chick that could down 50 vodka shots and not be phased. But that wasn't the case. You were the queen of weak stomachs, always claiming you could handle more when you knew you'd regret it later.

"How ya doing sweetheart?" Jimin asked, coming to check on you after everything had been settled.

"Three words. Kill me now." You sighed.

"Well I have a couple pain killers for you. And some ginger ale. Hopefully that will pick you up." He offered.

You nodded as he guided you to sit up. You threw the two pills back and quickly drank the soda to wash them down.

The ginger helped soothe your stomach and you were soon back to chuckling at shows on Netflix, all while lying down of course. You didn't want to push your luck with the nausea.

Jimin had allowed you to borrow his spare charger and you phone had finally lit up.

15 text from Minnie

2 missed calls from Minnie

Holy shit were you in for it.

And the last two texts scared you.

You're over his house aren't you?

I'm coming, this is the last time I'll catch you cheating Y/N.

Tears sprung from your eyes. The way he typed that, you knew he was going to be ruthless and not just verbally any more. Most importantly, at least in your eyes, he was going to hurt Jimin. You were the target, he was the obsticle. You couldn't let that happen so you picked up you thing and bolted towards the door.

"Y/N? Where are you going?" He asked tenderly grabbing your sleeve.

"I can't stay here, he'll hurt you too! Don't follow me please!" You begged.

You dashed out the door, Jimin chasing after you. You weren't sure where you were going but you knew it had to be alone.

Let’s run run run again! I can’t stop running

Let’s run run run again! I can’t help running

Only thing I can do is run

Only thing I can do is love you

Jimin was worried sick, you'd turned a sharp corner and he couldn't find you anymore and that's when he began to panic. His house was now far away but it was getting dark and he had to find you before the nasty streets of Seoul did. With all the strength he still had he ran the other direction towards his residence. He'd left his phone and everything at home chasing after you.

Let’s run run run again! It’s ok to be injured

I am happy enough even though I can’t get you

Once he reached his front porch he caught his breath but not for long as he realized he didn't have much time.

He walked in, reached for his phone, and called the police.

They said it would take at least 30 minutes for them to round up a search party, which Jimin was less than pleased with. He wanted to see you. He wanted to know you were safe.

Run... Don’t tell me bye bye Run... You make me cry cry Run... Love is a lie lie Don’t tell me, don’t tell me Don’t tell me bye bye

please be okay