#seems im not done talking about gortash | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seldaryne · 5 months

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haven't finished the durge pt yet (idc about spoiling anything though that has 0 impact on me enjoying the game fdgh) but i've been thinking Thoughts.

edit okay as i was writing this i went ahead and just read up on the backstory so i could continue my thoughts in a coherent manner lmfao

(lots of info here, apparently ive gotten Very attached to her in the last uh. three weeks give or take. kinda sorta chronological?? idk it makes sense to me lmao)

velrith probably definitely only settled on that name in act 2. prior that she was just called whatever people drifted to if they needed her attention. & she didn't really care, having a void for memories will do that to a bitch, but it can make introductions awkward or give them a weird 'im too good to even give you my identity' energy. not super great when paired with someone who doesn't really emote or put a ton of effort into masking tonal inflections. she pointedly allowed other people to do more of the talking as a result for a while & would get roped into conversations that way.

i'd like to go ahead and tie in astarion's frequent use of pet names here to this too. he's got a goal here, and can't just drop a 'hey you' every time he's angling for something. it's easier to fill in the blanks that way & make sure it doesn't come across as cold and calculated as the seduction actually is for a time. of course, the mental gymnastics weren't necessary here. aside from the fact that she's extremely intense about her oath & therefore is legally obligated to send cazador straight to hell on sight, he'd also have the same luck with a low-effort, straightforward 'do you want to have sex?' the lines are... usually fine, never actually crossing boundaries, but she does find a lot of them to be really goddamn weird & unnecessary when the point could be made in less than 10 words.

picture a distraught-looking sighthound & you have the general idea of the face she makes when he lays it on thick. she's giving her best shot at a socially appropriate expression. it's not working.

also on names, she can't say for sure if that's who she was before or if she just pieced together syllables that sounded like Something from memory. again, doesn't really matter either way, since she's not in any hurry to reclaim her former self. it's fine.

ketheric felt straightforward. a tragic figure who she did extend an olive branch towards, but ultimately felt nothing when it came time to bring her blade down (besides, isobel seemed like she knew what she was talking about when velrith confessed [suddenly coming back into her room just to point-blank tell her about the desire to spill her blood] certain thoughts of violence towards the cleric, and it felt like the sort of assurance she should be trusting, right? more than any of her own emotions, anyway.)

gortash gives her the ick. like, there's no other way to describe that one. he actually probably still would even without all the history (and the fact that he needed to repent for what he'd done to karlach), but the slimy over-familiarity was really the nail in the coffin there. velrith isn't smooth nor particularly socially gifted, but she has a certain air of formal pride she carries herself with. acting like you know her better than she does herself (even if it may very well be the truth!) is so beyond an overstep of what she's able to function with. stripping away everything else, if he even tried to touch her casually on the shoulder, he would have been liable to lose that hand.

orin troubles her. for the obvious reasons, but she also just... pities her. almost. pre-tadpole, velrith was honestly relatively similar compared to her current personality. colder and more able to justify slaughter, sure, but still staunchly refusing to compromise her own feelings for social games. she understood how the game pieces moved when she watched other people, even when she was younger, but if asked to copy the same techniques, she was only ever able to bludgeon straight through in a line. consequently, people don't really care how strange you are if you're just that good at your job. orin made a one-sided rivalry out of someone who otherwise just regarded her as a peer in the same arena, and now sees her as someone who wouldn't have been able to take the chance at redemption even if it had been on the table. she was too far gone, unable to stand on her own or cope with the fact that she would always be lesser than someone who genuinely could not have cared less about standings. maybe if velrith had feigned some interest, there wouldn't have been so much hatred. or maybe there would have.

either way, she sees orin in a depressing light. someone who had nothing and no one but the prospect of power, and who crumbled as soon as that chance at power was taken away. to let her live would have been to co-sign on her projecting those emotions outwards. velrith isn't stupid and knows there's a good chance she might have gone the same way if she hadn't been lucky enough to receive her parasite. in another life, she thinks that maybe she could have found a connection, and they might have saved each other (either genuinely or in a twisted version of the word). this isn't a thought she shares with anyone. she thinks about that death and their interactions for a long time afterwards.

her 'normal' childhood sometimes comes to her in fleeting memories that disappear out of her periphery if she focuses too hard. she thinks she liked her parents, and they seemed like nice people from what she can semi-recall. but she can also tell that there's always just been something wrong with her if she compares herself to other people. many of these snippets feature her looking anywhere but at her parents' faces, unable to express herself verbally in a way they could understand (the words were right, they way she used them was... her own, shall we say?). something flipped at some point, and all of the sudden she would stare too much at them, not blinking or looking away at the right moments. they'd seemed to squirm a bit under this. they always seemed a bit sad when they looked at her, as if they'd loved her but she was never quite as they hoped she would be.

she had to be taught what to do during a hug as an older child instead of leaving her arms limp at her sides. she knows that.

she doesn't remember killing them. she doesn't remember how it would have felt to receive her first order or how she was unable to do anything but listen to the violent urges.

there's more guilt for not feeling much towards them than there is for the killing.

the staring hasn't shifted again. she knows she looks at people too hard and/or too long, looks at them dead in the eyes and studies their faces, but she can't help it. one, it's good to be aware and alert. two, looking away doesn't seem to be the answer either. at least this way they know she's paying attention, right?

she thinks she shouldn't care about these things, that it's so ridiculous coming from her blood-soaked past, laughable that she'd wonder what it meant to have people relax in your presence instead of becoming more visibly anxious. but she wants to be good, she really, really does. she wants to be able to join a group like everyone else, slipping seamlessly into their words and laughing how they laugh instead of her own (the faintest of smiles and a soft rush of air running past her lips, blink-and-you'll-miss-it laughter that may as well not exist outside of her head). she doesn't hate herself for these things, because she doesn't know how else to be, but she does wonder. she wants to know what it's like for these things to be easy. bhaal's favourite hadn't been blessed with charisma, apparently.

consequently, she has a very hard time now figuring out how to actually connect with anyone, or what it should feel like to have friends.

it made her somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning to be asked questions by these people on a regular basis. not even personal questions, just things to signal that she existed to them in some capacity. gale remembers when she'd wrinkled her nose at a certain seasoning, and leaves it off her plate when he makes dinner going forward. lae'zel likes how she fights and asks her questions on technique, asking to spar so she could better understand the answers. shadowheart thinks they're alike with similar holes in their memories, and seeks out her company because of it. she doesn't understand, and for a while she even feels a bit suffocated by it. exposure therapy is really the only remedy here.

initially there are some reasonable assumptions on whether she just dislikes them all that much, or if she thinks she's better than them, or some other nasty reason. it takes approximately two conversations with her for everyone to understand that's not the case. it's like speaking to someone who only every studied social behaviour from an incomplete textbook and was visibly struggling to fill in the gaps in real-time. is she scary? yes, a bit. does she stare at you Way too much when you're speaking to her (at her, really, because you will be carrying that conversation until she's gotten her footing)? also yes. but she's really earnestly trying to sort herself out for the sake of the people around her, brain twisting around itself to learn things that were as easy as breathing to most. and it's sort of sweet, in its own way.

over time, she stops simply caring about these people based on her code of ethics. she starts to remember things about them too, her love language starts to show itself through gift-giving at an absolutely glacial pace, but it's noticeable to literally everyone despite that. a small trinket picked up at the market matching shadowheart's usual taste is pressed into her hand with only a nod before velrith is turning on her heel and almost running away. a tome is thrust at wyll with such startling intensity that the kindness actually comes off as a bit of a threat, but she looks visibly relieved when he takes it with a smile. so on and so forth. every incident like this, every blunt display of 'i notice you. i think you would like this. i thought of you today,' is accompanied by a hasty exit. task accomplished, but now the script has run out, so she's doing the same. she also finds it hard to look at people once the exchange has taken place, and is pretty sure this is an affliction only she suffers from.

she's going to push through it anyway, even if it makes her skin feel like its trying to recoil off her bones.

it also comes out in the protection. again, it's expected as a paladin of devotion, but no one is quite prepared for the molten fury that burns in her eyes or the weight of her voice whenever ghosts from the past arise. not only has she sworn her protection to those suffering from harm (and names like orin, gortash, cazador, viconia & more absolutely qualify as those who cause harm), but it feels personal. acting as shield and guillotine is when velrith is truly in her element, standing tall and embodying the virtues laid out in her tenets.

she is fighting internally just as much as externally, pushing back against base instincts to continue her sworn oath. driving her sword through the flesh of the emperor is just as much about defeating him as it is proving to herself that she is still capable of goodness. if she falls here, she can at least die knowing she was dedicated to rebellion until her very last breath.

this does not mean that she actually registers it when people like her, though. in fact, once she pieces together what her true nature is (she hadn't wanted to kick that poor animal, or make a spectacle of that nice bard's corpse, or try to rip out astarion's throat as he slept--but she had done those things, and more, and what's worse, some of them don't even to her like they would anyone else) she's pretty sure that the unanimous, logical choice would be to put her at a distance.

so she braces, prepares, makes peace with returning to the status quo & starts pulling away before staging her little ted talk. jaheira catches her first, though, and it gets to her. she's not spoken much to the woman, but she's... incredibly understanding, actually. so much so that it leaves velrith with a profound ache in her chest when she rolls over and tries to sleep again (jaheira's insistence, and her promise to stand watch all night in case she lost control again). being around jaheira hurts like hell, but she still seeks her out after that incident. she looks at her kindly but doesn't treat her with any more fragility than before. she's good-humoured when answering question after question about bhaalspawn, and stays honest the whole time too. she seeks her out when she isolates as much as she can on the outside of camp, dropping a sack of potatoes at velrith's feet and sitting beside her so that they can peel them in easy silence.

she likes that the most. sometimes it feels like velrith's head is too full; not from the parasite or the echoes of a murderous god, but from--she's not sure, actually, but it makes thinking hard, and speech tends to take a temporary leave as well. no amount of coaxing makes a difference, it'll return when it decides to. that's the bad sort of silence, the type that other people feel like they should fix so that everyone can be comfortable again. except jaheira, who apparently can figure out what she needs before velrith can even process that question. and sometimes, she just needs to peel some potatoes for a bit.

standing before everyone else, she prepares for the logical choice of rejection again. instead, she's greeted with shrugs, support, sympathy, but overall--not much of a change. that's the part that sends her off, only pausing just long enough to take a breath before excusing herself to the surrounding woods. it hurts so damn much, being loved like this. she wonders if any technicalities in her oath actually require her to slay herself at this point, just based on the implications alone. they should be appalled. fearful. cold. and she'd wound herself up so much inside determining this to already be the only end to her confession. bare your soul, lose what you'd only started to ease into, return to your duty.

the other shoe never does drop, though. it's gone so catastrophically well that she can't even make the tears flow properly (she's only done it once before that she remembers, but that should be adequate). instead, her sobs are muffled gasps against her hands, choking on her own confusion as she sinks to the ground, shaking.

of course, this comes out after the "incident", in the underdark, which means astarion has already seen her cry precisely once of something that seemed to her a similar scale. he's got a better handle on it, he'd like to believe, and he can sense that he's being silently volunteered for the 'fetch our bhaalspawn' quest. she's not hard to find either, an ice-white tiefling amongst the greenery with her head hidden in her arms, folded in on herself like she's not worth the weight of her own bones. it's sad, and a little annoying, actually, because if she was to insist that he possessed worth like it was the most obvious fact in the world, like he was strange for not feeling the same way, why shouldn't that same sentiment extend in her direction.

of course, there's little he can say to soothe in a way that matters, he's not going to make that mistake again, but he's at least able to bring her up for air. yes my love, perhaps it is foolish and unwise for any of us to stay around something so dangerous, but that argument can be made in many directions, not just yours. you would be the first among us to dismiss those very notions if they were coming from someone else, and have done so--multiple times, may i add--as bhaalspawn. if there's upset about the reveal, i'm confident that it's more to do with how you feel than anything else.

and really, what's she supposed to do with that aside from break even more (from relief, maybe? tension and fear of rejection that she hadn't known how to recognize, hadn't known she was holding onto? the understanding that this is not just from him, but on behalf of everyone else too?) and crumble into him.

against all odds, she is worthy of loving. despite her bloodline and her personal shortcomings, she is worthy of that much.

nothing in half-measures, as most paladins tend to be. does she remember when or why or even how she took the oath? not even a bit. but it's the only thing in her head when she wakes up on the mind flayer ship, the sole thing she's sure of, the only guiding direction she has. it should be enough to understand right and wrong, but it isn't for her. following the oath is a choice, something she can steady herself on when nothing else makes sense. devotion to her cause of protection, restoring some of the balance in the world that she lost before orin killed her. maybe that was why she lived; something needed her to right some of her sins before death arrived. or maybe a divine power was looking for someone who wouldn't be missed if they were lost in stopping the ithilids.

whatever it is, she does everything in her power to stick to it. until, of course, life happens (as it tends to) and she does something in the underdark. what did she do? she doesn't know, because she thought she was helping--that myconid was going to betray the colony that took him in when he lost all others. she raised her sword when it was clear a scolding wouldn't change his mind. and then... the sinking feeling that something was wrong.

something was missing. the only part of her that felt like it was anything was gone, and for the first time (maybe ever?) she gets emotional. there's no anchor anymore, no calming guide of tenets to follow.

the oathbreaker knight will find her later, she knows. at camp, she's distraught, and the little bit she dared interact goes out the window entirely. there's nothing anyone could actually say that would help, anyway. this does not stop astarion from trying.

glib as ever, were she in a more normal headspace she would have seen the dismissive comment for the hand-waving attempt at comfort it was. he probably knows there's nothing he can actually say to bring her down, but surely a joke (meant to reassure that she would be fine regardless, whether the oath stayed broken or was re-taken, she was competent on the field and he at least trusted her that much) would be alright?

it was not.

for all that he carried, he could not--did not--understand. of course he could be cavalier about it; despite all that was taken from him, he still had his own gods-damned name. he knew who he was, wasn't scrambling to put together fragments of his own ghost just to make some unimpressive small talk like she was. she has not yet chosen her name at this point, and that oath is where she begins & ends as a person.

he's silent when she snaps, unexpected. like a cornered animal about to tear its own leg out of a trap, daring anyone to come closer to 'help' so that they too can be maimed. a total loss for words, even when she stalks off to keep herself from acting out even further (who knows how prone she would be to violence now? not her!), raising her voice for the first time at him in pure grief.

he doesn't really get it, but he understand more in the middle of all that. the pieces click together in his mind, working themselves out during the berating. the gods never answered his cries, and so his outlook remained fairly bleak on the whole pantheon. paladins occupied a space at the opposite end of the spectrum, and he'd assumed that her more uptight habits were an offshoot from that (it's not like she gave him a ton to work with, either. he did his best from what he was allowed to see). for her, there may as well have been no gods involved in any capacity. it was simply the thing that kept her from fracturing entirely, now gone thanks to a misunderstood line in the agreement.

she still refuses to speak to him, even after she's begged for the oath back--she'll be good this time, really, she'll be good, she promises, it won't happen again, please--and received it successfully. she's not talking much to anyone, feeling both too exhausted and over-sensitive to even contemplate that. his apology isn't... good, exactly. but it's honest and that's really all she gives a shit about. things are still weird and cold for a bit, manifesting in a physical distance & reinforcing just how off his initial read on her was. but it's her first real brush with interpersonal conflict, so learning curves are expected. time and circumstance eventually help things settle, with there being bigger things to worry about.

she's quiet during sex. responsive and hyper-aware of her body, definitely, but still restrained. she enjoys the act, however, despite the lack of volume, and this shows through a readiness to explore and feel things. the ability to feel physical pleasure is something that at least seems to be something she has in common with most people. but she's overly permissive too, sometimes uncomfortably so; she's simply not attached enough to her body to have real concerns or strong preferences. at first glance, this seems to be deference, the need to be agreeable in every situation lest she tip the scales too much in her own direction.

he puts his finger on that after the third encounter, and finds himself taking a break from her for a while after as a result (once again, an act that she's absolutely fine with--god, has the thought of challenging him ever even crossed her mind in this department?). Further observation, however, reveals something else. her actions are exploratory. experimental. there's no frame of reference, she needs to establish preferences all over again for this version of herself. in fact, he sees that this extends to other tasks people ask of her as well. every action or accompaniment is met with the same reserved curiosity, considering what's being asked of her before ultimately deciding to try something new. perhaps that was why he felt like he was being intensely studied if he squints.

there's no doubt that she does see him. but she only sees enough to know that she lacks the connections to actually do anything with that. an unbalanced, vexing sort of safety net. (still, there was probably no one better for him to glue himself to than a paladin, and he tells himself that's why he spends so long trying to figure her out. because surely, her motivations can't be as obviously honest as they come across--can they?)

it's only after she tells him on the name she's privately decided to give herself (private for now, since everyone else will be informed in the morning) that he starts to realize just how much he enjoys kissing her. she's not nearly as practiced as he is, but gods, there's such a single-mindedness to the kisses it actually leaves him dizzy. her focus is so all-encompassing, the world around them may as well have been unravelling at its seams and she still wouldn't break contact. chasing pleasure but holding back just enough to keep her head above the water, prolonging the act as much as she can. he's been kissed before. many times, actually, but not like this.

there is... so much disappointment when rejecting bhaal doesn't actually change anything fundamental in her. on one hand, that really does mean that it's been her personality the entire time. that the good choices she made were hers, and they were worth fighting for.

on the other hand, fostering even that small seed of hope that she might become less of herself and more like other people had been a dangerous game. the distance remains, along with the lack of understanding and knowledge that some things would always be more hard-won for her, while others would simply be entirely beyond her reach. knowing this logically is one thing. accepting it is... entirely different. it will take time, and she will at least allow herself as much so as to properly grieve a version of herself whose body knew how to laugh freely.

she'll be okay.

#bg3 durge #oc tag #velrith #screams this got away from meeeee fdghj #trying her absolute best. doesnt understand people doesnt understand how to Be a person but by god. she is trying.#bg3

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kosmo-politan · 7 months

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Hiiiii kosmo my mutual kosmo. I’m sitting in a waiting room and bored out of my mind so I’m sending you an ask because I need Enrichment. You should talk about your ocs Right Now please /lh

OHGHHSGSG. I JUST GOT THIS YOU ARE OPENING PANDORAS BOX I FEAR,. .. I DONOT KNOW IF YOU MEAN BG3 OR REGULAR OCS SO . BG3 ITIS

ASSORTED MELCHIOR THOUGHTS . THE PROFESSIONAL FAILBOYFRIEND...

two guys bringing their team down <3 from the beginning melchior felt the need to one up him because well. he didnt remember anything and was attached to what little skills he did remember and felt like if someone else was better that he was losing that too you know. would rather die than say that out loud though so he starts this petty thing with the only other rogue. to everyones dismay.

at first melchior tries to one up him and whatnot but when he genuinely fucks something up and astarion does it for him he has a jimmy neutron brain blast moment. i can get this sucker to do my job for me. and it all goes downhill from there <3

two guys trying to manipulate eeach other ! love really does lose....

astarion is. not very good at manipulating melchior. ill be honest. and that isnt in the like. Melchior Is Simply That Good and Smart way. unless you say something Directly To His Face his ass is NOT gonna get it!!!!!!!

all the flirting registers as Witty Banter to mel because. well if he was flirting he should just say that to me.

yes h e is autistic. because i heart projection yousee.

on an unrelated note he thinks hes sooo good at eyecontact because he just Stares At People. doesnt look away. bores into their retinas with his big hot pink eyes.

anyway when Thee whole Blood Drinking Event happens mel aint even mad. confused above all else if im fully honest. like if you wanted my blood you can,. just ask ? i can make more.

also makes a huge melodramatic deal about it . for funsies. ex: do u think its bad. is my blood bad. is it like gales*. do i have galeblood. NO. dont say it. i couldnt bear... anyway.

*he does like gale he just makes fun of his friends youknow. gale probably doesnt care for melchior. Stresses Him Out.

prior to The Confession Scene after moonrise melchiors attitude towards That Vampire is that i have feelings for you. not saying which ones. post you know the one

Finally Comes To Terms with how he feels about that stupid vampire at moonrise. gets So Mad during the araj thing. perhaps unreasonably so.

sososo afraid to confront how he feels because. Dark Urge youknow. he doesnt WANT to be like that but hes also far too afraid of what it means if he Frees Himself Of It yknow. like what if i still have these compulsions. whatif im still Like This. i have a very loose grasp on durge but wtver. if the shit i make up doesnt fit i shall simply reshape bg3 lore to fit /lh

got his top surgery done by orin during a girls night or something silly like that.

i have so many thoughts about that vampire that i shall spare you. neway heres melchiors thoughts on the others <3

thinks gale is kindof funny and has a weird desire to seem. Less Foolish around him because he thinks gale is one of The Smarter Ones. makes fun of him for being kindof a loser with those wack ass old man jammies.

also likes wyll ! deeply envious of him because he sees all the desire he has to be Good and Help Everyone and wishes he could be Like That

thinks halsin is.Large. doesnt like him because hes only 5'5

little miss warrior cats... calls her shart because he thinks itis funny. (melchior is like 40 bear in mind) kindof afraid to talk to her because hes an absolute goober of a guy and thinks shes Thee Smart One

KARLACH <33333 also kindof envious of her for similar reasons to wyll. wants to impress her so bad because he thinks shes So Cool... after meeting gortash his ass WILL NOT talk to her. Afraid To. lots going on there but in general he thinks shes so cool and wishes he could be like her.

lae'zel... Frightened By Her. thinks shes cool though ! wants 2 be her friend but. again hes a goober and WILL make a fool of himself.

astarion. melchior voice well hes just that guy. i saw him trip and bust his ass on a trap the other day... kindof a loser if u ask me.... embarrassin.....

weird feelings towards gort. on one hand he was mels only friend (from what he remembers) but. he doesnt want to be That Person anymore. he doesnt Want to accept the whole bhaal thing. he wants a shot at a normal life. also this dude fucking sucks my god. comically evil. melchior voice i can excuse bombs in teddy bears but you did WHAT to karlach !!!

i ghave so many thoughts on . gort. unfortunately. the whole thing hes got where he foils the main 6 and the themes of redemption and breaking the cycle is sogood i love a good foil. fascinating man i want to blow him up with grenades

REAGHHHH THANKYOU FOR ASKING ILL WRAP IT UP HERE BUT FEEL FREE 2 ASK MORE I LOVE TALKING...

ALSO. quick notes 4 aldente. ill spare you their lore here because Theres Years Worth of it. however if you are inch rested it is. a bit edgy there at the beginning ill be honesyt </3

1) i started this story ages ago as like. A Token Edgy middle schooler. and built So Much more worldbuilding upon it that i cannot change it now youknow. it may be cringe </3

2) may reflect the age at which i wrote it with how edgy some of it is. so like. theres murder in there .

3) i stole demons from the bible and so on and made them ocs. the demonology special interest goes crazy in here.

#THNAK YOU FOR ASKING SOSORRY ITS A WHILE AFTER YOU ASKED. I DIDNT GET THENOTIF UNTIL LIKE. 9PM.#ANYWAY THERES SO MUCH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS BUT IM SO AFRAIF OF BEING CRINGE.#YOUSHOULD ALSO TELL ME ABOUT YOURS... BTW.... BG3 OR OTHERWISE THEYRE LIKE INLAWS TO ME YOU KNOW

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kimmkitsuragi · 4 months

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OH GOD OH FUCK IT'S OVER

a looooooong dump post with a lot of screenshots and commentary :) mainly doing this to myself but well if anyone wants to read my silly ramblings ~

starting from right after the gortash fight- i already posted about karlach's incredible :((( cutscene there. but also this:

inconsolable.......... the similarities between their backstories was my first reason for being so invested in starlach from early on- but the sadness in his voice here. god. dont worry my love, i will have an origin run w u where you can go to avernus with her and wyll :((( wyllachstarion will win yet again (YES i am seriously already planning for this- but not immediately because i think i focused on them too much in my first run lmaoooo. but i will do this!!!! they are my babiessss)

alright now the ELDER BRAIN FIGHTS UGHHHHHHHHHHHH i enjoyed all of the endgame sequences sooooo muchhhhhhhhhh

as i already said in other posts, i made laezel a little mad. just a little. i didnt free orpheus 😭😭 i am so curious to see how it plays out in my next runs!! but in this one, i felt like this was the choice Lou would make. and now, let's break down wyllachstarion's reactions to the alternative decisions ~

firstly, we already knew astarion says no to becoming an illithid himself, and his reaction to u possibly becoming one is so sad too... he really keeps urging you to reconsider. and i loved how he prefers freeing orpheus, but he's also fine with the emperor route as long as you dont end up as an illithid. his voice and face in these scenes made me so !!!! it was very well done, i loved it

wyll just being okay with whatever u choose... he stands with you and trusts u in all options. wylllllllllllllllll :( it is such a wyll thing, but i also wish he had a longer dialogue here

and karlach........ god of courseee she sees it as her only way out. i hate this i hate it hereeeeeeeee it's very good writing and acting but karlach!!! i dont want u to be an illithid :((( i ofc picked those options, and she was still supportive- i kinda wished to see her a little more hurt/mad at this but :(((( that would've been a lot harder for me to say no to her lmao. i just want karlach to be happy, is that too much to ask?????

but anyway, in the end i chose to trust the emperor and let him handle the stones. it was fun to have him around in fights ngl :) i never used illithid powers in this run on purpose for rp reasons, so im looking forward to exploring them later. lou's relationship with the emperor have been very umm.... shaky? lmao 😭 lou tried to kill him once, but also otherwise he was a professional ally i think. the emperor didnt even asked to fuck lou :( (lou wouldve said no but sdfbdhbfsd) he never trusted the guy, but also most of the game, he didnt trust many people anyway so it wasnt personal for the emperor lol. he was honestly planning to help laezel and free orpheus until the moment he had to make a decision, but the choices presented at that moment......... man. siding with the emperor felt the safest option at that time, so that's what we went with. it was definitely an interesting allyship!! it was a fun one to experience tho (sidenote, since im talking about the emperor umm. he and ansur definitely had a thing right? yes? alright moving on)

THEN everyone i helped just coming togetherrrrrrrrr awwww 😭😭 even the ox came!! sdnmdshfs i ended up summoning the harpers, the gur, nine fingers' guys, rolan's spell, and dame aylin before i made it to the brain itself lol it was a fun fight too!! it came in phases and i enjoyed all phases tbh. courtyard was v crowded but fun, then trying to climb up to the brain was STRESSFULL honestly but also fun!! the last part seemed intimidating but it was fine in the end. fuck you huge brain. also, i remember fighting the mind flayers at the end of act 2 in moonrise, and they gave me such a hard time i was scared of them lmaoooo and now my lvl12 ass is like huh. astarion can take u out in one turn with his 4 attacks in a row. bitch. sdfhjsfdgs (as always astarion carries the combat so hard for me- whatever will i do without relying on him all the time in my next runs???

and now THE CUTSCENES!!!!!!

astarion on copium.......... he was so happy too. ON GOD WE WILL FIX YOUR SUN ALLERGY (in my mind) - and then having him run off towards the end of this scene :((((((((( alright not to make everything about the same trio jsfdhfdsf but! wonder how that plays out in astarion origin spawn ending?? because i NEED him in the next cutscene with karlach 😤 guess we will find out in some months lol

but for now! wyll and karlach are off to avernus :<<<< and im off with astarion to hopefully find a cure lol. and laezel got mad at me a little (seriously. just a little compared to what i was expecting sdhfhd) and left to go to space and stuff. which is very fair honestly, good luck and sorry girl :( (i wish there was an option to apologize to her for that decision because i really did want to help her, but.......... the choices that i have to make......... so hard)

i ofc said let it gooooo about the crown to gale lol (does this mean i got the "happy" ending for everyone except laezel? :<<<<)

also im obsessed how there are 4 good answers and then just "let's break up" 😭😭 no in between here

alsoooo im very happy to have an epilogue party, but i wish there was a celebration right after the victory party as well!!

nowwww the party!!! my guys arriving to the party <3

(another thing that i realized, i got so attached to playing a "big drow man" character LMAO so i will really need to push myself in character creation the next time. big drow man so lovely and so welcoming to me im sorry. i mean LOOK at my guy here 👇 isnt he so babygirl???)

and i hugged astarion and all i got was this shitty screenshot :<< i am so bad at taking these sometimes dfhdhfd i tried so hard so many times to get the good kissing ones lmao... good thing i have a hard save at the epilogue so i can go hug him again

and his dialogue ending with "i'll always be here, love"................... stop this nonsense why did this make me genuinely emotional............... promise??? promise??????????????? 😭😭😭

laezel is learning about friendship :ooooo im so obsessed with her honestly im so sorry i did you dirty girl 😭😭 i will romance you hopefully soon!!! and we will free orpheus this time!! (as i said, her showing up after not doing that is seriously so big for me lmao. i was worried she'd ditch us!! i love u bestie)

also!!!! really really cute how there were letters from our friends at the chest!!! i really liked reading them. BUT. look who else is here 🙄 miss araj u are not my friend 😒 you CANNOT reclaim darling. do not ever call me darling. goodbye. dont write again.

okay WHY does every line other than hugging him is kinda mean to gale 😭😭 it's true he is my least used companion in this run along with halsin but like.... i dont hate gale at all lmao im planning on using him more in my next run (the same with the other less used companions) (although so far i really do not care for halsin sorry bro) but yeah so i hugged gale...

tara is judging me (another thing is, i literally saw tara once in this run, im guessing she would show up more if i focused on gale more??? please say it happens because i wanna see tara more too lol)

also chose this option just for the chaos of it. can you even imagine. do we want astarion near impressionable young pupils. (gale was pretty okay with it but sir, reconsider please)

i also hugged karlach!!!!!!! well of course!!!! she's glowing blue 🥺🥺🥺 i LOVE how karlach is optimistic about fixing her engine. girl pleaseeeeee dont die the world need you :((((( i loved her epilogue scene so much oughhhhhhh how she's playful but also so emotional!!!! mama k i need youuuuu

and wyllllllllllll i wish i could hug him too ://////// but i love how he's going after mizora KILL HERRRRR let's kill her ughhh let wyll do things for himself!! i love it here!! and he became a ranger 🥺🥺 ranger buddies!!!! lou and wyll and minsc and honorary member astarion (he multiclassed into gloom stalker lol)

speaking of minsc, i want to use him more in my next run too!! this run i recruited him a little too late, and im already a ranger so... i find him genuinely amusing honestly, i dont know the general opinion on his silliness but i feel like i will really enjoy his character!! i especially want him and jaheira in the same party to have more fun lol

seriously the most important character in the game btw ☝

scratch playing with the prism was also soooo 🥺 my little friends... the cub calls scratch big brother 😭😭

and hugged shart too :)

press x to doubt tho 💀

lmaooo can't believe this is a real line:

i like how they look like they're having a conversation here. badass women i need u (also i know i said it already but, more jaheira pls?????? more jaheira im begging??????? she needs voicelines and idle animation at the party pleaseeeeeeee)

weird bug with astarion and his knife tricks made me laugh here:

also, volo literally inviting himself to the party 💀 withers dialogues and ending cutscene was fun too lmao

MY FRIENDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

thank you for listening to my ted talk fr if anyone read all this, you're my friend too let's go to fae-run and take tadpoles together 🤝

#wow this is long. can you believe this game took me 3 months. im kinda proud that i didnt lose myself completely and took my time lmao #playing bg3

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