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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Note

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties.

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol.

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

#imsocatastrophic

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survivor-rebelsvsroyals · 5 years

Text

RITES OF PASSAGE

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BACKGROUND MUSIC!!

Before we move into the final phases of the game, it’s time for a look back at the players who have fallen.

Asya - This is not the first game we’ve played together and I doubt it’ll be the last. Because you were one of the few people I knew coming into this, I was hoping that you and I might be able to work together. Sadly, I know you were really busy during the first round and there was really nothing I could’ve done to turn that train around without risking my own neck.

Dan - I was so sad we lost that first challenge because I would have loved to work with you. This is a classic “just submit SOMETHING” scenario and I’m so sorry you were the first to go.

Dane - You were crazy but cool

Lachie - sorry you couldn’t submit a puzzle, better luck next time

Asya - So, from the start you were one of the people I had the weakest relationships with. It wasn’t anything personal, but we just didn’t have a close game relationship. Then I heard that you were throwing my name out - which may or may not have been true, that whole situation was very unclear because for the first half of that day I thought it was Raffy who’d been saying my name - and so when I heard you were the counter vote, I immediately jumped on board. If I was wrong, then I’m sorry, but with how high tensions were on that tribe, I really just had to go with my gut.

Dan - I’m not gonna lie, I really loved the OG tumblr vibe of seeing you, and then I remembered just how persistent you are. It’s so intimidating and that’s why voting you out was the best for my personal game. I feel like you were well connected and keeping you may have led to my downfall.

Dane - Whew

Lachie - It was nice getting to know you, I actually enjoyed chatting with you and you seemed like a v cool person. Sadly you had crackhead tendencies and you had to leave early :((

Asya - Brien, gone too soon. I wanted to work with you, because you expressed a lot of interest in working with me. However, I never really trusted Nic and Trace, so that made working with you incredibly difficult. Then you started throwing Dan under the bus and I couldn’t have that, so it had to be you at that point.

Dan - You’re such a sweetheart, even if you tried to VOTE ME OUT!!!! I really enjoyed getting to know you and you have a huge heart. Thanks for being awesome!

Dane - Sorry for attacking you so much in paintball

Lachie - no shade but don’t really remember you, sure your a babe tho xx

Asya - Hi Trace! You and were never super close in the game. Your vote out was super unfortunate because I know you saw it coming and I really appreciated your pitch to stay, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t go out on a limb for something I wasn’t 100% sure on, and I needed to stick with the people who I had full trust in.

Dan - Your vote hurt me the most. I loved being hosted by you previously and I really enjoyed getting to know you this game on a personal level. The way things landed, I needed to remain loyal to my group and unfortunately we just didn’t talk to the same people.

Dane - :((( I’m so sad you weren’t able to vote me out again

Lachie - I love u Trace!! I was so happy to see you were in this season because I loved you sm in I Love Money, ngl I was ready to work with you for the long haul but you are too good and had to die ://

Asya - Chloe, my love, I was seriously heartbroken when I saw the way the swap turned out. I truly meant what I said when I told you I wanted to stick together day one. If I had my way, it would’ve been you me and Dan going into the merge together, but I figured it was pretty much curtains when I saw the way you got fucked over numbers wise. You deserved to go farther and I’m sad our dream of losing together in FTC again died so soon.

Dan - ROBBBBBBBBBT. Why do you always get robbed in games we play together??? You were definitely one of my closest allies in the early game and I would love to have continued our working relationship. Getting swap fucked sucks, but I’m sure you went down swinging ❤️

Dane - sorry you got the boot early you seemed fun

Lachie - I was worried about playing with you again ngl because I’m BBUK our relationship was a MESS! We kinda just assumed we still didn’t really like eachother but I’m glad we spoke and actually sorted things out and got to know each other more. Sadly the tribe swap fucked you, really thought you were gunna go all the way tbh babe xx

Asya - Okay, so, Raffy. First impression of you was that you were the loud type who was gonna get himself into trouble. I liked you so much on a personal level, but I wasn’t sure how well that was gonna mesh with my game. In the second round when I was told you were throwing me UTB I had no reason not to believe it. In hindsight, though, I really do believe you were being honest with me, and I’m glad I didn’t vote you out. Would’ve loved to have had you in the merge because I really think you would’ve made it more exciting, but I hope me and the rest of the rebel squad made you proud.

Dan - YOU CRACKHEAD. I was so sad to see you go on one hand, but on the other I was ready to not have you delegate every single task! You have a heart of gold and you always do your best. Sorry you got swap fucked too.

Dane - damn I’m lowkey surprised you got that far

Lachie - you were a lot ngl

Asya - Hi Glo! So, firstly, I meant what I said when I told you I was really happy to be meeting you. I’ve only ever heard really nice things about you from my time in the community so I was really excited to play with you. Unfortunately, I was put in a really bad position in the swap and when it came down to it, I was gonna do whatever I had to do to save my own neck. Hope you understand and I still think you’re a legend.

Dan - Lying to you about the vote was one of the hardest things I had to do. It wasn’t easy because you’re truly the heart of the community. Know that you are loved and that we love you. Nothing personal, only game, and if you hadn’t gone, who knows what placement I would have gotten.

Dane - I’m so sorry I had to lie to you and vote you out! I assumed you had the idol and you were working with the royal majority alliance, when in reality it was the person that helped me take you out.

Lachie - sadly didn’t get to have a alola reunion with you :(

Asya - Okay so the fact that we didn’t get to interact in this game is SO ugly. I really didn’t expect to see you go so soon, though I get why you did, coming hot off Indonesia. Still sad we came that short of playing together again. Either way, I’ll talk to you soon. Hopefully not too soon but beggars can’t be choosers.

Dan - Hey! We never met so I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I was hoping we would be on the same tribe at some point. I’ve heard many great things about you, and even if we wouldn’t have worked together it would have been at least nice to meet! Hopefully I’ll see you in the reunion chat!

Dane - ROBBED QUEEN JFCCCCCC I’m so upset that they snaked you but I hope you’re living your life to the fullest bc you deserve it <3

Lachie - hope your drawing skills have improved x

Asya - Alright, here’s where things get tough. Amanda, I really had every intention of trying to play with you in the merge. Obviously I knew you and Dan were close and since I’d been working with him all game, you’re someone I also wanted a game relationship with. The second I heard my name, I knew I was gonna play one of my idols. Who I was gonna idol out, I wasn’t really sure. I talked in circles before coming to the conclusion that you were the one pushing so heavily for me to go, so I knew that long term, you leaving was what needed to be done. Hope you understand it was all self preservation.

Dan - I love you so much. You’ve been one of my best friends for over a decade now. You mean the absolute world for me and these games are the WORST possible thing for in real life relationships. I hope you know that you going was not ideal, but it did allow me to really establish an individual game. One of us was probably going to be booted early just because of our relationship and I’m so sorry it was you. ❤️

Dane Slightly upset you didn’t want to work with me after we worked well together in HoS but I understand since I’m a crackhead. Literally had no clue you were being idol’d out I just wanted to show loyalty to Asya but WHEW a moment ....

Lachie - never really spoke to you but I’m sure ur a star. Sorry Asya killed you

Asya - Well.

Here’s the skinny, Seamus. From the second I saw you in the cast I knew it was bad news for me. You know I think you’re great, but you’re also a crackhead, and I just couldn’t see a scenario where you and I worked together successfully. That alone wasn’t a reason to vote you out, because I was notoriously planning to vote out John that round, but a lot changed after that. Firstly, on the call I had with RTP, he more or less said that you and Linus were the kingpins on old Arioi and that was something I found easy to believe. Secondly, I heard you were the one pushing for Dane to go, which you then confirmed to me when we talked about it. Thirdly, after dropping some hints in her pms, Pippa said to me “I wish there was a way we could take Seamus out.” I knew I was gonna play my idol either way, but I wanted to have four solid votes just in case the majority split between Dane and Dan or Dane and John. In your words “I’m not gonna say I’m sorry for voting for you but good game,” because I’m not sorry, but only because I really believe you would’ve kicked my ass if I left you in the game any longer.

Dan - SKSKSKSKSKSK. Your blindside was satisfying for a lot of us. You’re just a good ass player and honestly we were all a little shook. I’m pretty sure you were way better connected than you led on, so getting you out early merge I think advanced my personal game pretty far. We’d always be crass and inappropriate in PMs and I thank you for making me laugh, and being such a dynamic character in this game, even if we didn’t work together.

Dane - GOD you were the second biggest crackhead this game and I’m truly surprised people went along with your plans as far as you got! All you did was take information from others and never create a mutual trust and that’s why you got idol’d out.

Lachie - a legend ugh the flavour. Actually really liked speaking to you for the short time we did, wish you could’ve gone further because I was excited to work with you.

Asya - So, I feel like coming into this game I had this super weird perception of you from like community lore and whatever, and it had me on my guard in basically every conversation we ever had. That started to melt away a bit after that one phone call we had, and I fully thought that was gonna be the start of a really strong alliance, but we both know how that ended. In general, you were just always a very scary player to me, and I really expected to be voted out the round you left. As a person, I think you’re awesome, but I’d be happy to never play a game with you again. All love <3

Dan - I love that we both fangirled a little bit at merge when we finally got to say hi to one another. Your old series really got me into games so I was so excited to see you. I am sad that we didn’t start on the same tribe because I think we would have definitely been working together. The numbers weren’t there for us and I’m so sorry that we couldn’t make more work!

Dane - Sorry for blowing up your game HNNNNNN. Asya said before Seamus’s tribal “I have no more idols so we have to come up with something,” and I did fkfkfkfmf. You were truly a huge social threat in this game and I had to expose it. It was very nice to play with you again!

Lachie - I love you I was excited to be reunited with you again 🥺 sadly your just too good and ya had to go. Mwah 💖💖

Asya - The amount of stress I was under trying to keep you in this game Miss Pippa. Whew. When I told you I was gonna die in the sword for you as my ally I meant it, I really did. I didn’t expect you to become the majority’s target so fast, then all of a sudden there were rumors flying about god knows what, and you were busy that night, and I really tried up to the Very last second, but ultimately there was nothing I could do. It sucks, and I thought that it was gonna be the end of my game, but I had to lose big at some point. You know I adore you outside the game and I’m really glad you (probably) don’t hate me.

Dan - You��re such a crackhead and I love that about you. Whether you were going around trying to stir up trouble, or just talking to me about how busy our lives were, I appreciate you as a player. This isn’t a suck up, but honestly you’re so funny and keep people on their toes. You’re gonna be forward and blunt, and working with you, albeit, for only like one and a half rounds, really showed me how you can play and be a little snake. Loved playing with you!

Dane - THE BIGGEST CRACKHEAD OF THE SEASON! A QUEEEEEEEEN! You were a HOT mess and I lived for every second of it. Literally you were SET and then you started spreading lies to your allies and it got so messy fkfkfkfkfkf. I’m truly sorry you had to leave the game but it was so much fun working with you for the short time

Lachie - sorry you couldn’t get me out babe x

Asya - I’m very grateful you voted to keep me on NuArioi, but after that… I really don’t know what happened. You said you were worried about me flipping once we got to the merge, then you flipped on me without a word. I tried to work with you after that too, but despite you saying you didn’t wanna hurt mine or Dane’s game, we never saw eye to eye. I’m sorry our needs never aligned, and I’m sorry things went the way that they did in the end.

Dan - Linusssssss. I was so happy when we swapped together and started working together. You’re somebody that I knew I could and would work with if given the opportunity. I think a combination of you going when you did was partial bitterness from our old alliance, and a real fear of your ability to socially and strategically work people. You were sitting pretty and that was super threatening. It was only a compliment to your game, going when you did.

Dane - whew the biggest snake in the mf game. I truly don’t know what to say except I’m glad I got Nigel out xoxoxo BAAAAAAAAAH

Lachie - legend status. Another robbed king that had to leave because of and idol. You got done dirty and I was excited to play this game with you. Something about speaking to a non US player just hits different

Asya - Ryan, you and I didn’t have that much of a relationship at all. We might’ve spoken the least of everyone, which is on me as much as on you, but it meant it was very easy for us. I think we probably spoke the most the night you were voted out which is unfortunate, and essentially why I wanted you out for such a long time. That and I’m pretty sure you had a way better relationship with most of the jury than I did. I think you’re a super cool guy though and I’m glad we got at least one ½ tribals together before you left.

Dan - Thank you for putting the past in the past for us. And most importantly, thank you for holding me accountable for when I say stupid heat of the moment shit. I need more people to do that for me. You showed me that regardless of what the past is, you can only change the future. I hope you know that I appreciated it so much and it meant the world to me to just have a normal convo with you.

Dane - You’re the only one who truly appreciated my memes this game ty king xo glad to have played another game with you!

Lachie - an evil slut that I adore. Can’t help it that ur popular and people felt intimidated by that :((

Asya - John, I’m honestly surprised that you and I both made it as far as we did. It seemed like we were totally on the same page all of the first phase of the game, then come the swap we just were fully out of sync. We finally came together again on the RTP vote, but sadly, that was the end of our individual interests aligning I think you’re such a good and kind person, and I hope we can be cool after the game because I’m really happy that I got to meet you.

Dan - Legend. I feel like we were so awkward in this game for now reason!!! I got the vibe that we wanted to work together we just didn’t know how. We were trusting different people, Amanda went early, and we just lost what we had going. Socially you’re an incredible player and you leaving was a huge jury threat out for everyone, which only speaks to your personality and gameplay.

Dane - Joe my man in every game we truly never end up on the same side and it sucked to have to go against you again. I do commend you though for starting a Snapchat streak with me after you realized you weren’t with the numbers and then ending it after you got voted out ckfkfkfkfk

Lachie - another BBUK legend, another robbed legend. I really wanted you to stay but sadly nobody wanted to risk rocks. I really didn’t think you’d be the rebel I ended up being closest to but ummm it happened lmao. Ur a sweetheart and I enjoyed every sec of play with ya again xx

Asya - Ruthie, I’m so glad I got to meet you in this game. I think you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever played with. I enjoyed talking to you when we did, and I’m sorry we never seemed to click on a game level. I never fully felt like you and I were able to be completely honest with one another, and so it was hard to strategize or anything like that, especially in the late game. I wish you all the best and I hope you’re not too upset.

Dan - OOOOOOOF. Girl, voting you out was hands down the hardest thing I’ve done this whole game. You’re so kind and I enjoyed getting to know you better. Loyalty to the people I’m with the earliest in the game unfortunately superseded what we had. I hope that you’re not upset with me or bitter about it. I just thank you for helping me get to this point and I definitely need you to know that given different circumstances, you’d be going all the way to the end with me.

Dane - god talking to you was so hard this game because Dan would tell Asya and I what you were saying but when I’d ask you you’d just straight up lie to me fkfkfkfkgkgkg there were so many times that I just wanted to call you out but I needed you to not COMPLETELY despise me and be helpful in a couple votes. On the other hand though it was very refreshing to talk to you since you were actually nice to people in this game. Sorry we had to vote you out !

Lachie - ROBBED!! Wish you were still here, i was SO excited to finally play a game with you after seeing you around for ages. And you sure did live up to the hype, you’re just so nice and real ugh a breath of fresh air in these games tbh. Sorry people felt the need to lie right up until the end :(( luv ya

#announcement #rites of passage

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