#shangqi crack fic

[wint3r-h3art]

--commission open !

Why I’m doing commissions?

I have a lot of things happening in my life right now, and financially I’m in need of extra income. I am opening commissions. If anyone interested please feel free to message me.

Pricing:

2K-3K words: 25 USD

3K-4K words: 35 USD

4K-5K words: 45 USD

additional 5 USD/1,000 words will be added.

Payment via Venmo / Kofi / PayPal

Sample of my works can be found here on my masterlist

Rules:

I write fluff, crack, angst, smut, & darker theme  fics. 

Must be 18 and up to request smut and/or dark content, and I will need confirmation from you.

Because this is self-insert specifically commission, you must be comfortable with giving me your name and/or age so I can write specifically for you

I only ask for payment when the work is finished. 

the copy sent to you will be in PDF format.

I ask that you don’t distribute the work that written for you unless we discuss on the back end.

I will be slow, so I ask that you don’t rush me. Again, I won’t charge you until the work is finished.

Characters:

Namor

Attuma

Miguel O’Hara

Stephen Strange

Matt Murdock

Frank Castle

TASM!Peter Parker

Steve Rogers

Moon Boys (Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley)

Loki Odinson

Thor Odinson

Shang-Chi/Shangqi

[blackbat05]

Prank Wars

Shangqi x Reader

A/N: Thought it was time for some chaotic fun! Enjoy and feedback always appreciated!

Genre: PG-13

Notes: If you recognize the Penguin, kudos. Heh. Credits to @crazycookiecrumbles for the idea! One swear word? lol✌🏽

***

‘You sure this is gonna work?’ Peter sets the package down, the rest of the avengers gathering around it.

‘Positive.’ You worked to unseal the package, excited for what’s to come. ‘This is revenge for what he’s done. You guys ready?’

‘Remind me why I’m here again?’ Shangqi groans.

‘Because you lost the bet.’ Sam reminds him. ‘And you’re the newbie. It’s kinda like an initiation you know?’

‘You mean slavery.’ Shangqi mutters under his breath. The Captain pretends not to hear, taking a basket to enter the supermarket.

‘We’ll divide and conquer. I’ll do frozen foods, you do toiletries.’ Sam instructs, leaving Shangqi to his own devices.

Shangqi scans the list that Sam had thrust into his hands, deciding which product he should look for first.

Moving down the aisles, he decides to search for shavers that Bruce had requested. Durable ones - was written by the Doctor himself.

Examining each brand, he finally decides on one. Placing it in the basket, Shangqi prepares to move on to the next item, when -

Was that a… penguin?

Shangqi rubs his eyes, wondering if the sparring with Yelena yesterday had took more than his energy.

But no - there it was again. Big and white, Shangqi sees a life sized penguin down the aisle, staring at him with unblinking eyes.

Shangqi does a double take and the next moment, the strange creature was gone.

What the heck? Shangqi shrugs, positive that his fatigue was just getting the better of him.

***

‘Alright Y/N! Shangqi is moving towards the hair care section.’ Scott tells you through your in ear monitor.

Little did Shangqi know, Scott was running around the supermarket unnoticed, as he spied on the unsuspecting newest Avenger through shelves.

Time to move to the next phase.

Shangqi grabs a bottle of shampoo and conditioner, accidentally knocking over a bottle of hand soap onto the floor in the process. He bends down, preparing to pick it up, until a hand reaches out first to grab the bottle.

A feathered hand.

‘Oh thank y-’ Shangqi stops midway, face to face with the penguin that was actually you in disguise.

You hand the bottle back to him, waddling away in the suit as if it was the most normal thing in the world. If only Shangqi could see you how, as you held yourself back from bursting into laughter.

‘Yo Shangqi! Where ya at?’ Sam calls, appearing at the exact spot you had left.

‘What’s got your pants in a twist man?’ But Sam already knew the reason. Poor dude, he chuckles to himself.

‘Did you not see the penguin?’ Shangqi asks.

‘What? Penguin?’

Shangqi wonders if he has officially lost his marbles.

‘Yes! The giant penguin! With those big eyes that doesn’t blink! Like a goldfish!’ Shangqi waves his hands in exasperation. Did anyone not see the strange creature walking about the supermarket?

‘You need to rest Shangqi,’ Sam pats him on the shoulder. ‘Looks like that training session did a solid one on you.’

Before Shangqi could retort back, the Captain walks away with the basket in hand.

***

Shangqi wildly stares around, flinching at the slightest unusual movement. Sam was actually starting to feel sorry for the poor dude and made a mental note to never put wasabi in your sushi as a joke.

The things you do for revenge.

As they sit at a nearby cafe, waiting to pick up Wanda’s cake order, Sam spots a feathered fur peeking out from a bush just a few feet away.

‘I’ll go get us some drinks.’ Sam said loudly enough for you to hear. ‘Coffee?’

Shangqi nods, grateful for the caffeine. Maybe that was what he just needed. An extra boost from caffeine-

No fucking way.

Moments after Sam entered, the door opens, revealing the exact same penguin. This time, you waddled in a red sling back and ear muffs, cup of coffee perched in your “wing”.

A child with his mother at the next table sees this, waving innocently at you.

Beaming on the inside, you returned the wave cheerfully. Once satisfying the young child, you returned your focus to Shangi, staring at him straight in the eye.

Shangqi is positive that he has lost it.

Just who the hell was this creature? And why was it following him?

***

‘Good work Shangqi!’ Yelena catches her breath, holding a thumbs up. The pair walks towards the benches, eager to take a break.

‘Oh!’ Yelena realizes. ‘I need to return something to Katy but I’m going on a mission later. Would you mind helping me return it?’ She passes him a brown paper bag.

As Shangqi bids her goodbye, he moves in the opposite direction towards Katy’s room. Too absorbed in his thoughts, he bumps into someone, causing the contents to spill.

‘Ah, shit. I’m sorry.’ He bends down to pick them up, about to thank the person that he had bumped into.

Or so he thinks.

You pick up the brown bag in your penguin disguise, causally returning it to him before going on your own way.

Before Shangqi can recollect his mind, you were long gone.

***

‘Hey Katy!’ Shangqi knocks on the door. ‘You in?’

No response.

Shrugging to himself, Shangqi thinks that Katy wouldn’t mind him just leaving the package on the table. So he let’s himself him.

He sees that door to the toilet is closed. Maybe Katy’s still in there. He walks further into the room, preparing to leave Yelena’s package on the desk.

‘Hey! I didn’t hear you come in!’

He turns around to see the very same penguin donning glasses and holding a large pencil, scribbling away at the notebook in front of it.

Shangqi doesn’t know what happened next as he blacks out there and then.

***

‘What the hell?’ Shangqi wakes up, blinking his eyes to adjust to the light. He is back in his room.

That was one crazy dream-

‘AHHHH!!!!’

He sees the penguin sitting at his bedside, staring at him curiously.

‘WHAT THE HELL- KATY HELP!’

‘Calm down dumbass! It’s me!’ You finally decide to end the prank once and for all, sparing him. Shangqi pauses, unsure of what you meant until you removed the costume.

‘Wait. Y/N?’ He finally connects the dots together. ‘What the hell man? That was you?’

You nod proudly.

‘Yeap! At the supermarket, the training compound…’ You counted with your fingers.

‘And Katy’s room?’

‘Oh no. That was actually Katy herself.’ You added brightly, enjoying the look of shock on his face.

‘So… lesson learnt?’ You cheekily questioned.

‘Never put extra wasabi in your sushi.’

‘And?’

Shangqi looks at you in disbelief, as if there was more to this madness. He finally caves in under your stare.

‘Never do a jump scare on you after watching Nightmare on Elm Street.’

‘Good!’ You beamed, satisfied with the outcome of the prank war, having the last laugh. You stand up, leaving the suit on the chair.

‘Wait!’ Shangqi tries to get out of bed but winces immediately due to his blackout. ‘Aren’t you going to take this with you?’

‘Nah! Figured you could use some watching over! Bye!’ You skipped out of the room, ignoring Shangqi’s protests.

Needless to say, he was well watched over that night.

***

A/N: This literally screams crack and chaos LOL. Guess I needed it since I’m starting my second term before I’m done with Year 3?😂

Also credits to @wint3r-h3art for endorsing this idea. Hope it made you have the lols😬

[tom-whore-dleston]

I realized I never did a May fic rec list so I figured I'll combine both May and June fics I loved! Some of these works are 18+ only so please be respectful of their warnings and boundaries! Make sure to reblog and comment on these amazing fics! Your feedback and responses are what motivate them to continue writing such beautiful works 💖💖💖

✩May✩

Sweet Payback by @blackbat05

Xu Shangqi x reader | crack

Strength by @/blackbat05

Steven Grant x reader | angst

Mi Vida by @wint3r-h3art

Jake Lockley x reader | smut

To Not Interfere by @starryevermore

Druig x reader | angst

Blind Trust by @/starryevermore

Druig x reader | angst

Portofino by @buckybleu

mafia!Bucky Barnes x reader | fluff

His Sacrifice by @crazycookiecrumbles

Stephen Strange | angst

✩June✩

Midnight Snack by @/wint3r-h3art

Stephen Strange x reader | smut

Sharing Her by @mischievoushiddleston

mafia!Tom Hiddleston x reader x mafia!Oscar Isaac | smut

Between You by @thatblackravenclaw

Xu Shangqi x reader | smut

A New Fear by @/crazycookiecrumbles

Xu Shangqi x reader | angst

Heavy Metal Lover by @ozarkthedog

Steven Grant x reader | smut

Every Little Thing by @graysonshaven

Jonathan Levy x reader | smut

Clean Success by @/blackbat05

Xu Shangqi x reader | fluff

Coveted Facade by @inklore

Hangman x reader | smut

No Romeo by @burnthoneymint

Matt Murdock x reader | angst

Rainy Days and Pancakes by @redheadspark

Xu Shangqi x reader | fluff

You Appearing by @/burnthoneymint

Steven Grant x reader | fluff/angst

Not Alone by @/blackbat05

multiple avengers x reader | angst

[blackbat05]

Sweet Payback

Shang-Chi x Reader

A/N: A short piece to reflect my current mental state🤟🏽 Hope this makes you laugh if you’re having a tough time like I am🙂

Genre: Pure Crack (I got inspired by someone farting on the train, but I guess inspiration comes from the wildest of places right?)

***

‘Come on Shang-Chi! We’re gonna be late!’ You knocked on the door for what you think is the umpteenth time.

‘Ugh… what the hell did they put in that thing?’

You shake your head in amusement. By “thing”, Shang-Chi meant the Tom Yum Soup you two had for dinner yesterday. Little did you know what trouble this spicy cuisine would bring to your morning.

‘I’m going to bring some medicine okay?’ You were concerned that your boyfriend would soon shit his intestines out together with whatever was causing this.

The door unlocks, and Shang-Chi appears a little paler than usual.

‘I’m good.’ He gasps, stumbling out of the bathroom. ‘Let’s go before Fury kicks both of our asses for being late.’

***

‘Agent L/N! Shang-Chi! Good to see you finally on time!’ Fury addresses the two of you as you made it into the meeting room where the other Avengers were waiting.

Kate Bishop gives you a sympathetic stare, passing the briefs along to you.

‘Morning troubles huh?’

‘More like bowel troubles with this one.’ You pointed to Shang-Chi who was in brief conversation with Marc Spector before being interrupted by Fury.

Engaged in strategy tactics and training schedules for the newer recruits, you don’t see the subtle change in Shang-Chi’s expression.

Damn it. Not now! He thinks.

It felt like his stomach was being twisted on the inside, imaginary hands not ready to let go soon. He sees Fury deeply engrossed in his newest strategy - man would be pissed if his momentum was stopped.

Shang-Chi had to do something soon before his insides explode. If only he could silently release a little bit…

Oh to heck with it!

The difference relieves Shang-Chi of his anguish. Now he had to think fast before the group of Avengers caught on to him.

Why didn’t he think of it earlier?

Peter is the first one to catch the putrid smell wafting around the room. ‘Uh… I don’t mean to be rude but would someone mind opening the windows please?’ The poor boy looked like he was going to suffocate if this was prolonged a minute longer.

‘God! What is that smell!’ Yelena pinches the bridge of her nose, standing up to fulfil Peter’s request. Despite the windows now being opened, the damage was done.

‘Feels like that nasty burrito we had yesterday.’ A British accent pips up from beside Shang-Chi who almost gave the mercenary the stank eye.

‘Steven?’

‘Yeah. For the first time Marc is willing to let me have the body!’ Steven pouts in his chair, holding his nose. ‘So much for a bloody mercenary. Gosh where is the air freshener when you need one!’

Shang-Chi quickly does the same, turning to his unsuspecting scapegoat. You.

‘Uh, babe? You want to take a time out for this one?’

You blink at him, momentarily confused. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Aw come on!’

‘Y/N! What the hell did you eat?’

‘Please chill on the garlic would you?’

A series of chorus rang throughout the room as you attempt to figure out what was going on. Slowly connecting the dots, your eyes land on your boyfriend who was conveniently avoiding eye contact with you.

‘Oh no you didn’t…’ You mumbled it loudly enough for Shang-Chi to hear.

He springs out from his seat, surprisingly agile for someone who had a stomachache a few hours ago.

‘COME HERE YOU SNIVELLING COWARD!’

He quickly runs behind Steven who was looking very lost for protection.

Scanning the room, your eyes land on the perfect weapon. You march over to Frank Castle himself who was quietly watching the chaotic scene in amusement.

‘Pellets?’

‘Non lethal.’ Frank nods.

‘Perfect.’

Before any of the Avengers could react, you whipped out Frank’s gun, aiming it at Shang-Chi who had been abandoned by Steven.

‘This will ought to teach you not to be a liar!’ Releasing the trigger, the pellet flies towards Shang-Chi’s direction who expertly dodges it with much ease.

Only to smack the boss man right in the face.

The whole room had went collectively silent, watching the whole fiasco go down. Pellet dropping in front of Fury’s foot, Avengers started to move their chairs, making excuses from needing to go on a mission to feeding their dog.

‘Agent?’

‘Yes sir?’ You respond meekly, knowing what was about to come next.

‘My office. Now.’

***

Shang-Chi hears the door to your shared apartment open. You walk in, absolutely exhausted.

‘Not. Another. Word.’

Shang-Chi carefully approaches you, before you fall towards him.

‘Was it that bad?’

‘Try cleaning the entire quinjet by hand.’ You counter back, making him flinch slightly.

‘Sorry babe, I had two strikes from Fury this month. If I get another one-’

You cut him off. ‘You owe me. Big time.’

‘Anything you say.’

He was so going to regret that. ‘Anything?’

Shang-Chi nods.

‘You’re doing laundry and dishes for the whole month.’

Getting up from his embrace, you leave his stunned figure behind. Shang-Chi follows you a few seconds later.

‘Y/N? Come on we can negotiate this! Pleaseee? Did you forget how I shrunk my combat suit?’

‘Maybe you should consider a crop top for battle then!’

‘COME ON BABE!’

***

A/N: Will be taking a break on writing for a while! I’ll still be here😊

[wint3r-h3art]

Established Relationship!Reader x Bucky Shangqi | Reader meets a Shang-Chi who awakens from his surgery and is so filled with painkillers that he can’t help flirting with his girlfriend — the reader.

Fluff amidst all the heartbreaking, tearful angst😩🤌

A/N: this is just crack, y'all. I don't even know what I'm doing. But this is my amend to all the pain I caused y'all yesterday. I believe this is based off this video? Also I'm in a bit in a writing slump as work and my grad course work is kind of kicking my butt right now, so ya girl is a bit stressed out. I hope you like this. Your like, comment, and reblogs are greatly appreciate it.💛

Warning: None. Just fluffy, funny (I hope) crack fic

“Oh, my God who are you?”

Your eyes shift to Shangqi who just woke up from his surgery. His eyes are still sleepy, his voice is slurry mostly from just waking up for the anesthesia. His liquid brown scans your features as if he forgot who you are. His poor little face looks a bit puffy, but he’s still your sweet Shangqi.

“Um, who do you think I am?” you ask as you sit there, peeling an apple for him.

“I don’t know but you’re really hot.”

You almost choke at that. You’re trying very hard to contain your giggle, but the more you look at your boyfriend, the funnier this gets. Despite the fact that he's still half awake, he manages to make your face warm from just a few words.

“Come again now?”

“Did the doctor send you here?” he asks again. His brows pulled into a deep frown as his eyes glance at you briefly then back to the ceiling as if he’s trying to watch something float around the room. His hand reaches up, but you quickly pull it down to his side.

“No. I came here on my own,” you say, trying to stifle laughter.

“Really?!”

You nod. “Yeah, I bring you some snacks, some milk tea for you. The doctor said no boba for at least another hours”

“Whoah. Whoah. You bring me food too? How do you know I like boba tea” he asks again, his eyes still in a daze as he glances at your face then he starts chuckling to himself. “Oh my God, you’re so cute and you’re bringing me food. How do I get so lucky?”

You laugh now. “Well, I don’t know Shangqi, you tell me.”

“What’s your name? Can I get your number, please?”

He looks too cute. You tell him your name, followed by “Well, I’m your girlfriend, Shangqi.”

“You’re my girlfriend?!” His eyes widen at the revelation as if he cannot believe himself. “You’re really my girlfriend?! Holy shit, how do I get so lucky?” Then he clamps his mouth as he catches himself swearing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to swear in front of you, but you’re so damn gorgeous. I can’t believe that you’re my girlfriend.”

You laugh. “It’s ok, baby. You’re just waking up. I heard you said the worst thing.”

He sniffles a bit, not from crying of course. “Oh my god, you call me baby. I’m so lucky. Wow. I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend.”

You giggle before patting his head. “It's ok baby. You're definitely not the only lucky one here.”

[wint3r-h3art]

“I’m Shangqi, bitch” | Shangqi x f!reader

Anonymous asked: Hii (23 here) If you are still accepting Dirty and dark prompts then can I request for a 11.“You got me so hard right now in that skirt…” with Shang-chi and a human avenger gf who doesnt dress up a lot? I hope it isnt too much!! (Also your angsty fics are so good for a crying session😅) Thank you so much

Summary: You & Shangqi are going undercover to steal some intel in Madripoor about the mysterious Power Broker. But they sure as hell got distracted.

⚠️Warning: Smut. This is intends for 18 and over. Minor DNI. Blogs with no age or blank blogs will be blocked. Contains: dirty talk, praise kink, authority kink, grinding, fingering, oral (f receiving). Shangqi may also a bit out of character too, so....😬

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: I do hope this is good because i’m struggling today. I’ve been dealing with migraine all day today ahah!  It’s slight smutty, but kind turn into crack at the end. It’s not my best work and I do apologize for that.  I hope you like it maybe a little. 🥺 Reblog and comments are always appreciated.

You take a deep breath as you push the heavy glass door open. Loud electronic music rumbles loudly as the smell of sweat, perfumed and liquor linger in the air. Adjusting your short tight skirt, you step inside the nightclub, your stiletto heels clicking on the marble floor as you make way to the bar. You feel eyes on you as you sit yourself down.

“Yamazaki on the rocks,” you look at him under your lashes as you hand him your fake ID. You’re making sure that the fake Ten Rings tattoo on your forearm is visible to the bartender as he reaches out to take the card from you. He eyes you briefly before handing the card back to you. You can see the slight nervousness in his eyes. 

“Mam, he’s expecting you tonight,” the bartender says lowly as he hands you your drink.

“Is he now?” you smirk slyly. 

“I am,” comes his low, deep voice as you can feel his palm stroking your bareback. The sudden contact makes your skin prick with goosebumps as you feel your back straighten. The bartender offers him a respective nod before going back to taking care of other patrons. 

“Sir,” clearing your throat you finally turn and look at your boyfriend for the very first time in 3 months. You want to throw yourself in his arms then, but that would throw both of your covers.

Shangqi's gaze softens momentarily as he looks longingly at you. How many nights has he been sleeping by himself, wishing that you were there with him? Of course, a mission is a mission, and the fact that it was given by Captain America, Sam Wilson himself, he’d like to take it seriously. He was tasked to go undercover as his father in order to investigate the Power Broker's whereabouts. This leads to Shangqi acquiring many of Xialing’s connections throughout the Southeastern part of Asia. You know he has “his people” embedded throughout the club tonight, acting as his protection. But you and he know that it’s just another favor that Shangqi owes his sister for.

“You look gorgeous tonight, kitten,” he purrs as he shifts back into his role as the Mandarin. His ten rings gleam beneath the stropping lights of the club. You can feel passerby eyeing you curiously, but no one dares to approach him, knowing full well seeing those ten golden rings gleaming oh so slightly whenever he clench and unclench his fists.

“All for you sir,” you say softly before bringing the expensive drink up to your deep red lips and taking a quick sip of it, watching the way his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip as he stares at you not so subtly. 

“Are you now?” he leans in, taking the drink from your hand and chugging it down in one go. You watch at the way his Adam’s apple bobble, making your mouth goes dry.

“Yes sir. Always for you,” you mumble, your thighs clench together as you try to sate that growing ache between your thighs. That doesn't go unnoticed of course. He eyes you dangerously when he slams the glass down. 

“Walk with me,” he says as he offers you his hand. You gladly take it. Once again, you can feel eyes on your as the club patrons observe not so subtly. Not at you of course. At Shangqi, or should you say at the Great Mandarin himself. You feel yourself holding on to him tighter as you slowly get closer to the private room that he bought out for the night.

Once you hear the door slam shut, you turn, your expression suddenly changes. “Any intel of who this Power Broker is?”  

Shangqi takes off his jacket and drapes it on the leather sofa. The Ten Rings cling slightly at his movement. “Really babe, we haven’t seen each other in three months and no ‘I miss you’? I’m hurt,” he says sarcastically.

“You know why you were sent here.”

“Yeah?” he says as he slowly backs you until your back hits the wall. His callus palm slowly rub up and down your bare thighs, making you shiver slightly. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’ve missed you.”

You breathe shakily as you gaze up into his deep, liquid amber. You suddenly hiss when he lifts your thigh up, allowing him to press his growing bulge against your mound. Shangqi sucks in a breath as he stares down at you.

“Fuck,” he cusses out lowly. His voice reverberates through his chest as he slowly grinds himself against your bare pussy. “You got me so hard right now in that skirt…I know you don’t wear it often, but Goddamn, babe. You’re not even wearing anything underneath it...Are you trying to get in trouble?”

Your eyes flutter at the way his movements spark jolts of pleasure coursing through you, making your head spins. 

“Shangqi...” you mutter shakily.

“Yes, kitten?” his amber eyes stare into yours as he continues to grind his hips into yours. You can feel your slick slowly rolling down your thigh.

“Please…”

“Please what?” he smirks as he leans in. You can smell the whiskey on his breath as his lips are merely a few centimeters away from yours. “I thought you want all the intel of this mission.”

“Shangqi,” you plead softly as you clutch at his bicep. “If you don’t fuck me now, I will go out there and fuck the first guy I find.”

“The fuck you’re not,” he grunts before his lips crush against your with a harsh kiss. You moan into his mouth as his teeth scrape lightly against your lip. His tongue is everywhere and anyway all at once. He palms your bare ass a few times, squeezing it before giving you a loud smack. “I should punish you for even thinking about it,” he hisses against your lips as he stares at you with those dark eyes.

“Urg, please sir.” The words came out of your mouth without much of your realization as you grind yourself against him. “Please, I’ll be a good girl.”

He knows so damn well that you’re playing dirty right now. He knows so damn well that he can’t deny you. “Oh yeah? Then stand still and don’t move,” he warns you as he pulls away from you. You tilt your head slightly as you watch him sinking down to his knees. Your mouth goes dry when you can feel his breath against your aching pussy.

“Shangqi…”

“Sh...it’s sir now, isn’t it, kitten?”

You bite your lips and nod your heads as you watch him hiking your skirt further up your thigh. His dark, amber eyes stare directly into wetness. “Fuck, kitten. You’re so wet for me,” he says softly as he leans in and takes a long swipe along your slit. You whimper softly as your thighs threaten to shakily clench together, but his strong hands keep your legs pinned in place. “What did I say about being a good girl, huh? If you do that again, I will stop this.”

You whimper at this and promise him that you won’t do it again. A sly smirk quirks at the corner of his lips as he leans in again, this time he licks you with the flat of his tongue, gathering all of your wetness right into his mouth. He slurps loudly as if it’s the best thing he has ever tasted. “Fuck your pussy still tastes so fucking good, kitten,” he purrs as his fingers rub the small bundle of nerves in a slow, lazy circle, eliciting a soft mewling sound right out of you. “I’ve missed you so much.”

His fingers plunge into your warm, velvety wetness as he continues to suck at your clit. Your head is thrown back by the bombardment of the overwhelming pleasure he’s giving you. Every part of your body is shaking as the pressure is slowly building up at the pit of your stomach.

As you can feel yourself inching closer, a loud knock on the door makes both of you stop. Shangqi slowly gets up, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He gestures you to lower your skirt down as he slowly turns. “What do you want?”

“We know you’re in there, imposter,” a deep, male voice calling from the other side of the door.He turns to you briefly before you walk over to the large mahogany desk that sits directly in front of the bookcase. You quickly pull out a large, leather-bound encyclopedia and open it to find your G19 hiding in there. The door rattle a couple of more times. Then you can hear the sound of chainsaws trying to cut through the wooden door. You tap the small earpiece a couple of times before you can hear the static noise on the other side. “

Hey Sam, we need a backup...like right now.”

With a bang, the doors fly open, revealing a large group of men, all equipped with a variety of guns. “We got words that you’re ain’t the real Mandarin, boy.”

“If I’m an imposter, why the hell do I got these bad boys?” Shangqi smirks. With a flick of his wrist, the rings start to glow red. 

“You better come with us, or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Be careful, boy. There’re only two of you, and there are many of us.”

Shangqi smirks as he slowly walks toward the group of men. “Yeah? Well, I got these and you only got guns...so who’s winning here?” 

With a swing of his arm, the rings extend out and the massive force behind it knocks down those men. A loud scream can be heard behind the door as the men groan loudly. 

“What the fuck are you?!”

Shangqi kneels down beside them as he’s picking through their shirt, looking for any clue at all as to who sent them. A smirk quirks at the corner of his lips as he stares at one of them. 

“I’m Shangqi, bitch.”

[blackbat05]

Wrong Foot

Shangqi x Reader (Frank Castle’s daughter)

A/N: I give the honor to my squad for contributing to the wonderful ideas that has blossomed into this fic😂 I hope you enjoy the wacky humor?🤪 My brain has been fermented lol.

Genre: What the heck should I even classify it as?

Warnings/Notes: Mention of daddy in ‘another’ way but it’s mostly a wacky (and a little crack) in it. Probably will raise this fic to 16 above just in case! Please read at your own discretion!

***

‘Is there anything I should know? Before your dad comes?’

You tried not to laugh at your boyfriend who was flustered on a Saturday evening. He was trying and you had to give that to him.

‘Baby, relax.’ You moved around the kitchen to stand in front of him. ‘There’s nothing to be worried about. It’s just dinner.’

Dinner. Yeah. Shangqi thinks inwardly to himself. Dinner with a former force recon Marine and a brutal vigilante to boot. He momentarily forgets his status as an Avenger.

‘Babe? BABE! The rice!’ Shangqi snaps himself out of his daze as he returns to the mentioned dish, nearly burning himself in the process.

To say he was nervous? That was an understatement.

***

‘Dad!’ You leap into opened arms.

Frank Castle, a man who could kill a person in his sleep had the biggest smile on his face as he lifts you a few inches from the ground.

‘Good to see you to princess,’ he chuckles before putting you back down. ‘Has he been treating you well? You’re so light that I could do a mountain march with you on my back!’ Your dad narrows his eyes at the thought of his lovely daughter being mistreated.

‘No dad! He’s been feeding me well! Speaking of which, he’s made dumplings for today’s dinner!’ You quickly averted the crisis, guiding him into the living room.

Frank places his duffel bag neatly beside the sofa, just the way you like it. Scanning the house, his eyes land on Shangqi who had just finished placing the dumplings onto a plate.

Likewise, Shangqi spots the older man and immediately rushes out of the kitchen, frilly white apron still tied to his waist.

‘Good evening sir- Mr Castle.’ He stumbles slightly over his words despite practicing it multiple times in front of the bathroom mirror yesterday evening while you were fast asleep.

‘Frank’s fine.’ Your father gruffly responds, shaking his hand.

You told Shangqi about your father before, not leaving out any details. So why was it still so intimidating as he came into contact with the older man’s calloused hands? Just what did he do?

Eyes darting between the two man, you let out a cough. ‘Well then, we can get started first. Your sister and Katy will be a little late,’ you tell Shangqi while directing him to the kitchen.

‘Can’t wait for you to meet them Dad!’ You don’t forget to holler over your shoulder. ‘Their great people!’

***

Twenty minutes later, you found yourself satisfied with the dumplings. It seems that your dad had arrived at the same consensus. Any traces of the military man at the front door had been quickly subdued by the juicy starter.

Excusing yourself to clear the dishes, you checked in on the remaining dishes - the Szechuan soup and fried rice. Opening the pot, you were satisfied to see the liquid boiling. Now, just to make sure that it tasted good…

Taking the time to savor the soup, you decided to add a little more pepper that was at the dining table where the two men were at.

‘Hey daddy? Could you pass me the pepper please?’

How you regretted the sentence that left your mouth.

At the same time, the two men reached for the pepper shaker that was sitting there in the middle of the dining table. You swore you could have heard a pin drop as both your father and Shangqi takes time to register what had just happened.

And it looked like your poor boyfriend was still processing the past few seconds while Frank turned borderline murderous. You didn’t need another warning.

‘Uh babe?’

‘Yeah?’ Shangqi responded meekly, finally realizing what was about to come next as Frank stands up, brandishing one of his many weapons.

‘RUN!’

***

‘Oh gosh I hope we’re aren’t late!’ Xialing trudges up the stairs to the shared apartment with Katy who was helping her with the drinks. ‘I can’t wait to meet Y/N’s father!’

‘Don’t get your pants in a twist, I’m sure they’ll understand!’ Katy waves her free hand dismissively, reaching the level of your apartment. As they walked to the door, they could hear a loud crash from the inside.

‘Uh what the hell was that?’ Katy asks. Xialing shrugs, carefully going to ring the bell. ‘I’m not sure but stand behind me.’

Katy had to hand it to Xialing for the woman had nerves of steel. The moment the sound of the bell went off, the door violently flung open, revealing a frazzled you that looked like you got run over by a large dog.

‘Oh thank god you’re here!’ You grabbed both their hands, dragging them inside the house before slamming the door. ‘I can’t stop them! They’ve been going at it for almost an hour!’

‘Who?’ Katy was confused.

‘Them!’ You point in the direction of the shared room that your dad was trying to currently break down. The two woman look at you for an explanation which honestly would have left you red in the face.

But desperate times calls for desperate measures.

‘Please! I’ll do anything!’

‘Anything?’ Katy was starting to enjoy the leverage over you.

‘Yes! I’ll get you free passes to the club you always wanted to go to! Unlimited karaoke!’

‘Mm…’ The young woman was just playing with you at this point while Xialing was secretly amused at the entertainment that her brother was unwillingly roped into.

‘PLEASE!’

‘Alright, fine!’ She beckons Xialing who moved towards the door where your father was still fuming.

‘Hi!’ Katy starts loudly. ‘Hello sir! Mr Castle!’ She extends a hand, momentarily distracting your father who flipped a switch, forgetting his ‘task’ of ripping your boyfriend to shreds.

‘Oh. Hello. Frank will do.’

‘Neat gear Frank! When Y/N told me you were special ops, I knew you were badass.’

‘It’s not- uh thanks.’

Katy’s boisterous tactic seemed to be working on your father who wondered how you managed to make friends with such a group of individuals until the door to the room had creaked opened slightly.

‘OH NO YOU DON’T BOY- GET OUT HERE AND FIGHT!’

Before you could stand in between the two men, Xialing had beaten you to it first.

‘Hello! Shangqi’s sister,’ Xialing had a smile on her face as she waved. ‘I don’t know what my clueless brother did this time so I apologize on his behalf. Unfortunately, I have yet to settle my scores with him abandoning me so until then, no one can kill him.’

Frank blinks, taking it Xialing’s statement, unsure if she was trying to pull a fast one on him. He stares at her for a few good seconds, before deciding that the woman in front of him was telling the truth. Placing his gun back in his holster, he doesn’t forget to give your boyfriend one last glare.

I’m watching you boy.

‘Finally! Gosh you two are a lifesaver!’ You hugged the two women who shrugged nonchalantly and requested dumplings as payment.

Now…

‘AND YOU TWO!’ You yelled at the two men who were trying to sneak away from the crowd. ‘I AM NOT DONE SPEAKING HERE. GET YOUR ASSESS OVER HERE.’

For the very first time, Shangqi finally understands the term ‘wrapped around one’s finger’. Frank Castle, a badass military man with an imposing physique that would scare most criminals away was walking to you like a kicked puppy in the rain.

‘Dad, I know you were just looking out for me and I appreciate that but what happens in my bedroom has nothing to do with you ok?’ You gave him a pointed look, only moving on when he grunted in acknowledgement. Turning to Shangqi, you were prepared to go on a full rant.

‘I don’t know what but- ah for god sake forget it! You two will be going out to help me get the cake that I ordered at the bakery- ah ah!’ You refused to hear any objections from the two of them. ‘This will be a good time for you to ya know - get to know each other better.’

‘Babe-’

‘Not hearing it. GO.’

As the door closes, Katy whispers to Xialing.

‘Well, should have bought popcorn don’t you think?’

***

Epilogue

The smell of freshly baked bread floated through the bakery. The bell of the door rings, with two men trudging in, deep in conversation.

‘You abandoned your sister?’

Shangqi sighs, ‘Well no- and yes. It’s a long story. I was trying to get away from my father who trained me to kill.’

‘Damn son. You’re a little rough and damaged but I guess Y/N was right. You are a good man.’ Frank pats him on the shoulder before heading to the counter with the ticket.

‘Uh… thanks?’

‘That doesn’t mean I’ll forget what happened today. Three strikes and you’re out son.’

‘Three?’

‘Actually make that one left. The other for abandoning your sister.’ Frank walks out with the box, leaving Shangqi very confused by the older man’s threat.

‘Sir? You’re kidding right? SIR!’

***

A/N: I would like to apologize for this😂 Just thought it’ll be stress reliving to write this and get this out of my head.

Tags (actually more like I give this honor to): @wint3r-h3art @crazycookiecrumbles 😘

(let me know if you want to be tagged too cuz I don’t want to tag unnecessarily for this!)

[tom-whore-dleston]

Jordan's 23rd Birthday Sleepover

My actual bday isn't until the 4th but imma just milk out the celebration as much as I can skskskdfghaa 🤣 this sleepover has nothing to do with Michael Jordan or basketball (I mean other than my name is Jordan and I am turning 23 lmfao)

Even tho Tumblr is a weird and oftentimes crappy place, I have met some pretty cool ass people on here and I wouldn't want it any other way :') Y'all make this place less dark and I wanna celebrate this special day with my besties!! Here's to another year of friendship, love, and unhinged hoe vibes 🤪🥂 let's pretend that I'm not recycling some stuff from my last sleepover 💀

Party Itinerary:

Starts: April 3 @ 12am (PST)

Ends: April 6 @ 11:59pm (PST)

You are welcome to send in asks before the sleepover starts, but I won't start responding to them until the start time.

As always, please be 18+ to participate! Y'all know how I feel about minors being on my blog so please don't give me a reason to block any of y'all. Please have some indication of your age in your bio.

You don't have to be following me to participate. Everyone is welcome 😊

I disabled anon feature to avoid meanies and minors.

Please send one emoji per ask. You don't have to worry about spamming my inbox, I will see everything ;)

I will not write/discuss anything revolving around non-con, underage, a/b/o, bathroom kinks, blood kinks (only exception is vampire AU if applicable), incest, step-cest, foot fetish.

I only write for female reader inserts with no specific race/ethnicity, hair/eye/skin color, body type, etc.

I reserve the right to deny writing/discussing any other things that make me uncomfortable.

Overall, let's just have fun and spread some love!!!

Thank you for the gift 🥰:

🍨 - Let's get personal. Ask me whatever you want.

🎂 - Let's play an ask game (cym, fmk, wyr, etc). Feel free to spice it up to your liking ;)

🍾 - Send me a hottie not on list and I'll rate them based on the scale below.

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

🥳 - Send me smutty, fluffy, and/or crack concepts that you think would fit in any of my AUs (Honey Baby, Teach Me Tonight, Rolling Dice and Rocking Hips)

🎉 - *Send a prompt from this list + hottie and I'll write a quick fic. Feel free to add AUs/tropes/etc.

🎈 - *Send me a movie + hottie and I will write a quick fic based on the movie

ex. Tangled + Xu Shangqi

🎁 - *Send a pic of one of my hotties and I will write a quick fic based on the pic.

🕯️ - *Send me a song or song lyrics + hottie and I will write a quick fic based on the song/lyrics

*Please note that the asks involving quick fics will take some time, so be patient as I write them! Remember that I reserve the right to deny any requests that 1. involve anything I previously stated I do not write for 2. I generally do not feel comfortable writing

You know who will be at the party 😏:

Real life hotties -

Simu Liu, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland, Austin Butler, Barry Keoghan, Andrew Garfield, Harry Styles, Oscar Isaac, Michael B. Jordan, Benedict Cumberbatch, Hayden Christensen

Fictional hotties -

Marvel: Loki Laufeyson, Xu Shang-Chi/Shangqi, Peter Parker (any variant), Xu Wenwu, Erik Kilmonger, Scott Lang, Thor, Druig, Eros/Starfox, Sam Wilson, Pietro Maximoff (Age of Ultron), Joaquin Torres, Bucky Barnes, Marc Spector/Steven Grant, Stephen Strange

Star Wars: Din Djarin, Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, Poe Dameron

Other: Kim Jung (Kim’s Convenience), any Sim Liu’s SNL characters (don't be shy, I know we all simped), Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive), Johnathan Pine (The Night Manager), Robert Laing (High Rise), James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island), Nathan Drake (Uncharted), Arvin Russel (The Devil All The Time), Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out), Jefferson/Mad Hatter (Once Upon a Time)

Gifts on the Table (oldest to newest):

🎉 - “Reality is even better than my dreams.” + Tom Hiddleston (@/huntress-artemiss)

🎈 - A Court of Mist and Fury + Simu Liu (@/littlestatesman)

🎈 - Meet the Robinsons + Xu Shangqi (@/blackbat05)

🎁 - Simu Liu (@/tonystarksfavoritedaughter)

🎁 - Adam OLLA (@/poetic-fiasco)

🎁 - Loki Laufeyson (@/frostbitten-written)

🎁 - Oscar Isaac (@/wint3r-h3art)

🎉 - “I’m not necessarily hungry for food right now.” + Stephen Strange (@/wint3r-h3art)

🍾 - Stephen Strange (@/wint3r-h3art)

🎉 - Austin Butler + “How about we stay here all day and cuddle?” (@/beakeoghan)

🥳 - Teach Me Tonight concept: prof! Shangqi testing your knowledge on X subject (or whatever major/minor is being tested) while testing you and your self control? (@/potatos-main)

🍨 - 3 things you want people to know about you (@/yummymatcha)

🎁 - Simu Liu (@/cyborg-cinderella)

🎉 - "You remembered my favorite food" + Adam OLLA (@/give-me-a-moose)

🕯️ - "So, baby, can you eat it from the back? Got me purrin' like I'm Doja Cat" + Simu's SNL character of choice (@/tmholland)

🎉 - “I know I should care about the reason why you’re naked in my bed, but I will just enjoy it for a moment.” & “I’ll take it that you like what you see.” + Xu Shangqi (@/hollandparkersx)

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[tom-whore-dleston]

500 Followers Writing Challenge

Wow, y'all! Thank you all again for another milestone! As wild as this site is, I am grateful to everyone that has supported and got to know me over the past few months ❤️

To celebrate, I will be hosting a writing challenge to showcase more amazing writers and share our love for it. I am sure many of you are familiar with the bingo writing challenge. However, I'll be adding my own twist on it.

In each square, I put some of my favorite fanfic AUs and tropes. For the challenge, you will have to sign up for which square you would like to write for. To sign up, you will have to send me an ASK for which square you would like to claim, along with the genre(s) & character(s)/real person(s) you would like to write for

Ex. #1: CEO + fluff & smut + Shang-Chi/Shangqi

Ex. #2: love triangle + angst + Druig & Loki

You can only sign up for one square and only two writers can occupy that square. Under the cut will include a constantly updated list of the squares that are taken. If you sign up for a square that is already taken by two writers, I will reach out to you via DMs and we will discuss other options for you. You can still incorporate the other AUs and tropes in your fic, however, the AU or trope you signed up for must be written into your fic. Sign ups for squares will end December 31st unless spots fill up quickly!

The Free Space square is reserved for me, but here is the catch. Y'all get to help me build a fic by voting for which character/person, AU, trope, and genre I will be writing for! The link to vote will be here and you will have until December 17th @ 11:59pm Cali time to vote for what kind of fic I should write. That's my last day of finals so after that I should be able to write it lol

This challenge is restricted to writers 18 years or older! You must have an age in your bio along with at least one post on your blog. Any blogs that do not have these will be turned away from participating. And all minors will be blocked!

I will accept all genres (fluff, angst, smut, crack, dark) of fanfic, but please tag accordingly if you write smut or dark pieces! I will NOT allow any pieces that include non-con, incest, step-cest, underage readers or characters, bathroom kinks, blood kink, or foot fetish. For this challenge, I want pairings to be male!character(s)/person(s) x fem!reader insert.

You can write either one-shots, series/multi-part fics (tag me in every part), or drabbles, but if your piece is longer than 500 words, please use a read more tag! If you need help with it, don't hesitate to ask. Deadline to submit your piece is February 28, 2022 at 11:59pm.

Please tag me [@tom-whore-dleston] in your piece and use the hashtags #jordans500followersbingochallenge and/or #jordansauandtropebingochallenge. I will also provide a link for you to submit your pieces in case I miss your tag.

CHECK OUT THE MASTERLIST OF ALL THE WORKS HERE

If you need an extension or will no longer be participating in the challenge, please let me know! I know life can get crazy and writing is so damn hard so I totally understand and will accommodate to your needs.

Below the cut, I have provided the bingo card, sign up list, and a list of characters/people to write for! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask or DM me and I will get back to you as soon as I can! Be as creative as you possibly can be and don't forget to have fun with it 😊😊😊

Sign Ups:

PWP:

Professor x Student: @little-diable

Love Triangle:

Coffee/Boba Barista:

Unresolved Sexual Tension:

Dad's Best Friend: @magicxc

Enemies to Lovers:

CEO:

Friends to Lovers:

Roommates:

Bed Sharing: @justseewherethisgoes @littlelioncub43

Therapist x Patient:

Fake Relationship/Marriage: @give-me-a-moose

Fairytale: @wint3r-h3art @ladyfallonavenger

Forbidden Love: @inklore

Monster:

Jealous/Possessive/Protective:

Time Period:

Idiots in Love: @kneel-bitches

Artist: @buckybleu

Drunk Confessions: @jbreenr @cloverrover

Adult Entertainer:

Trapped/Isolated: @blackbat05

Mafia/Mobster: @sparkledfirecracker

Who You Can Write For:

MCU characters: Loki, Shang-Chi/Shangqi, Peter Parker (aged up), Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Xu Wenwu, Erik Killmonger, Scott Lang, Thor, Druig, Eros/Starfox, Sam Wilson, Pietro Maximoff (Age of Ultron)

Non-MCU characters: Kim Jung (Kim's Convenience), any Sim Liu’s SNL characters (I’m dead serious lmfao), Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive), Johnathan Pine (The Night Manager), Robert Laing (High Rise), James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island), Arvin Russel (The Devil All The Time), Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out), Andy Barber (Defending Jacob), Lee Bodecker (The Devil All The Time), Jefferson/Mad Hatter (Once Upon a Time)

RPF: Simu Liu, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland, Harry Styles, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Barry Keoghan

Tagging some friends:

@wint3r-h3art @crazycookiecrumbles @cloverrover @blackbat05 @navybrat817-shares @littlelioncub43 @give-me-a-moose @tuiccim @magicxc @jbreenr @ladyfallonavenger @sparkledfirecracker @dreamlessinparis

[tom-whore-dleston]

hi baby! for the fanfic ask game: ❤️💕

Henlo bae Bea! Thank you for the ask 👉👈

Fanfic Ask Game

❤️ Who is your favorite character to write for and why?

I'm pretty sure this was predictable but it's hands down Shangqi 🙈 Other than being absolutely whipped for him (iykyk), I love exploring new ways to write him. He may have a small fan base, but I've met so many kind-hearted, fun, and sometimes-equally-h-word-as-me fans through him and I wouldn't change a thing about it 🥰🥰🥰

💕 What is the WIP that you are most excited about?

After much procrastination, I started writing the blonde!Shangqi I've been daydreaming about 😂😂 I orginally anticipated it being v smutty but it's turning out to be more crack fic than smut lol but I'm not complaining 🤣 I'll share a snippet bc I'm cracking myself up writing it:

When Shangqi finally revealed his blonde hair to everyone else in the compound, the roasts came flying faster than Xialing’s punches and kicks.

Xialing cackled, “Oh, if only mama and baba were to see you now.”

“Hate to break to you, bus boy, but you look like shit!” JonJon exclaimed, patting his back. Even Razor Fist put in his two cents, claiming Shangqi was better off having his hair chopped off by him.

When Katy received a picture of Shangqi sporting the bleach blonde hair, she texted back, “If you leave him now, I promise I won’t tell him where you ran away to.”

In response to all the heat he received the remainder of his visit, Shangqi simply shrugged his shoulders at them. “I know you all have your own opinions about my hair, but frankly, I don’t care. I actually like how I look and no one is gonna ruin that for me.” His words, on top of the tone of voice he spoke in, awoke something inside you that you had no idea was there before. Your thighs clenched together as your need for him ignited between your legs. Your mind betrayed you as it was filled with dirty thoughts of him with his dyed hair.

[wint3r-h3art]

Dad!Shangqi fics have a special place in my heart🥺 and ofc Frank Castle ones too👅😛

Anonymous or not, which is your fav stories I wrote

Ah I love dad!Shangqi to bit!! Every stories I wrote, I enjoyed writing them, even if it’s just pure crack!! 🤣 it’s been a while that I write Frank! Still love him tho, so I’m glad you liked them as much as I as well!!

[wint3r-h3art]

⭐️ - I’m curious about how you started any Dad! Shangqi fics! Because honestly it’s like you’re the pioneer that influenced me to start too😬

LMAO! Oh gosh thank you for thinking that! I can't take all the credits because it was an anon that send that imagine and I just expand it. Honestly, I just watch those videos of babies/toddler doing and saying the darnest things about their parents or to their parents and kind of expand from that..maybe crank it up to like 1000% of just crack and mess for the sake of humor. My process is just writing from observing ahahha!

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

[blackbat05]

Babe, it’s the Prank War and the one where Shangqi meets Frank for the first time!! I love these two fics to but!!! Hilarious and so well written!!

Dad!Frank and Bf!Shangqi is the duo we never knew we needed💋

And who can forget the giant penguin?🤪 we all need crack in our lives yes?

[blackbat05]

Term 2 gonna start tomorrow so gonna slow down on the fics again~ don’t worry, I’ll still be surfing around tumblr so if you ever wanna chat just leave a message!

Anyways managed to get a couple of ideas out during this short break so that’s good☺️

Will post a Shangqi crack fic before lesson starts tmr though! Hehehe😬