#she just sadly ended up outgrowing the relationship eventually

[gayvecchio]

My initial impression when I watched Eclipse for the first time (and what I still believe) is that Stella knew full well that Ray didn't humilate himself on purpose in the bank when they were kids. I always read it as Stella knowing how embarrased and ashamed Ray would feel for having wet himself, and instead of trying to console him and tell him that it was okay, she let him be the hero instead. Because even though in Ray's memory he thought that he was being 'John Lennon, James Bond, Joe Namath, all rolled into one', I don't think Stella actually fell in love with an illusion at all. Like Fraser said, 'I am willing to gamble that Stella looked beyond that one incident and saw the whole person'. I think she always saw Ray for who he really was, but Ray's own insecurities about himself made him believe that she had to be with him based on a lie. I think the person who doesn't see Ray clearly is Ray himself. He has such a low sense of himself that he can't imagine her falling for anything but a con. He can't imagine that Stella simply fell in love with little Ray Kowalski, because who the hell is even is that? He's convinced himself that he's been playing the part of 'the hero' all these years that he doesn't really see that he has actually become one. The person who recieved all those citations that Fraser recounts wasn't a lie or a con, it was Ray Kowalski, a good policeman, someone who one would be proud to call a partner and a friend. In my opinion Ray's biggest con was conning himself into believing he isn't good enough just the way he is.

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

So obviously alot of people (wrongly) didnt like Woody’s decision in Toy Story 4 and i’m here to tell you why you are wrong (and maybe why you should feel bad about it)

TS4 Spoilers, obviously

With the story being about toys its likely alot of us missed out on the major theme of the genre, which really only came to me recently.

Yes they are cute movies about toys with puns and gag humor.

alot of people try to play up the existential horror of being a toy, whos existence is at the whim of giants who will destroy you themselves or throw you away , blah blah blah.

But really the whole thing is a giant metaphor. its like a Black Mirror/Twilight Zone episode where the concept is “What if adults entire lives revolved around their kids”

See, the toys exist because of kids, are brought into their lives, get fulfillment out of helping the kids grow up and be happy, and while often fearing losing their kids overall accept the inevitability.

lots of people have tried to do some weird fanfictiony thing regarding woody and andy. especially with the heavy implication that Woody was inherited from his father. But i’m here to say Woody is Andy’s father.

No not his biological father, he’s not the reincarnated soul of his father. I’m saying within the confines of this story and metaphore he is Andy’s father. his step father, his father figure. Its, within canon BECAUSE he is an heirloom FROM his father that he’s so attatched to the Woody Doll.

Because each toy has their role. RC is Andy’s first car, Ham and Potatoe head are like Andy’s uncles. Bo Peep his Woody’s girlfiend.

See its cus of this relationship that Woody’s role is so important. What are fathers for? inspiring you. Playing games with you. being heroic. Being kind. protecting others. even falling in love. Andy doesnt have a father and for the sake of the story his mother is barely shown. He gets his fulfillment and plays with the values of heroism, emotion, and becoming a good person through his toys like so many kids. And woody is there to teach him, love him, be there for him and be someone to look up to.

but because of the Black mirrorness, his step dad (woody) and uncles and aunts and all that are objects , that while they exist outside of his perview, dont exist to HIM. To any of the kids in this world. Thats how parents and adults are to kids in the real world...only more literal. Kids dont think about their teachers outside of school. have a hard time comprehending the billions of adults doing things like having lives, working jobs, speaking other languages and doing adult things across the world. Even their own parents are easily forgotten until the kid has been away for awhile, or needs the parent the do somehting or comfort them. Thats JUST like these toys. kids are inspired by and love their toys but are easily distracted, or like with many kids and their parents, grow to dislike playing with those toys/adults. And similarly the toys and adults do have their OWN lives , thats both a good and bad thing. When not being played with the toys still exist and have lives of their own. but ultimately their lives REVOLVE around a kid.

So imagine in real life in Adults werent allowed to move (far), to travel, without their kids. That they COULD but they had to return to their positions by the time the kids got back. The thing you might have been wondering is that ALL the toys cant be parents but they arent they are adults. Look at all of andy’s toys there are some he never plays with and others he barely does. So like...Bo Peep being a toy he only plays with when he needs  a damsel in distress is like him going to his step dad’s girlfriend when he needs advice about girls or buying a gift for one. Ham is the weird nerdy uncle that only exists when you need to ask em weird facts on messenger or borrow money from.

So imagine in this black mirror world if like...the barista didnt make coffee all day, have breaks and made money. If they had to stay in their uniform in the coffee shop all day doing nothing but playing solitair and waiting for a kid to show up so they could play their small part.

And of course the major issue in toy story is the growing up and losing your kids.

In toy story 1 Woody gets upset when another step dad comes into Andy’s life. maybe metaphorical for his mom’s new boyfriend. like many kids ANdy is smitten by having the cool new dad who has lasers and takes him to put put and Pizza planet. Andy loved going to the ranche and horseback riding with Woody but all this NEW stuff is Amazing!. And like many adults Woody was sidelined for the new shiny stuff. If you live for your kids it can be heartbreaking when a new friend or hobby or adult comes into their life and they dont have time for you anymore. Heck every sitcome has like 5 episodes dedicated to the adults getting used to the idea that with growing up the kids dont have time for them anymore. And woody grows to accept the new adult in Andy’s life because him being an asshole about it made it so he almost LOST andy completely. Imagine a movie or sitcom where andy’s dad and his mom’s new boyfriend keep bickering and then the wife tells them if they cant stop yelling at each other in front of andy that neither of them can see him. (andy moving away)

In toy story 2 they are dealing with andy growing up. He’s grown out of most of his toys. just like how kids who are preteen spend most of their time with their family. going to friends house, playing with cousins, that as they grow older they dont want to go on 6 hour car rides to see grandma anymore. they arent interested in playing leggos with toddlers, or grow to dislike cousins. So andy’s likes and dislikes have shifted and he only has some of his favorite toys now, just like how a teenager will often be less involved with their parents, lose some friends, gain others and might interact less with extended relatives.

And then fearing losing andy himself, woody risks himself to keep another relative from losing andy. and he ends up in a new world, playing with the concept of moving on from his kid. See Jessie has already gone through this. Her kid grew into a teenager and like many mothers, was promptly forgotten about. her mom (jessie)  wasnt even embarrassing, she just wasnt on her radar, she was talking with friends, doing makeup , doing extra curriculars. She didnt have time for jessie and when she finally found her, immediately put her away. She’d grown up and her ‘mom’ wasnt in her life anymore, she still had the good memories, but sadly Jessie realized that all that time she waited for her daughter to come back to her so they could bond again, that her kid lost interest in ever being her friend a LONG time ago.

And woody saw that as his future. So when the entire reason you are alive is to help your kid, what do you do when your kid isnt gone, because they dont want you anymore? thats the problem he had to face. And the movie focuses on this. on extra bonus material we see the Prospector was happy now that he finally had his first kid, Woody talks to buzz not about NEVER losing andy, but that its STILL GOING TO HAPPEN. but its WORTH IT. THats just like what so many parents say. That its hard dealing wiht kids that are stressful and take up money and eventually they rebel and you lose them for the most part. but its WORTH IT to see them grow up and become amazing people.

And thats part of Toy Story 3. Andy’s all grown up and since parents/toys only exist for kids to play with then there is no reason for them. their lives are unfullfulling and pointless but they dredge on none the less because thought heir lives are dedicated to kids they dont immediately disappear when they dont have them. though its implied they do eventually fade away.

but some of these toys find an alternative. such a preschool. infinite kids forever. the connection isnt as strong but its something. just like adults who babysit or become teachers or caretakers. In this Bonnie is Woody’s and other toys second chance. their second child. the “we arent that old, maybe we can have another one?” and So they try again.

however, Toy story 4

in this extended metaphor kids dont NEED their parents/toys. the story doestn focus on real life for people. its just assumed that kids are taken care of , that they have food and a place to live. So its actually the ‘adults whos ENTIRE EXISTENCE revolves around being loved by a child” allegory that is at risk here

And see. in real life you have to accept like woody and andy that eventually even your most beloved kid will outgrow you. You have to accept like jessie that even before they grow up a child you love will no longer need you as much as you feel for them. That while you are important to a child if you get deployed, if you have to move away , if you are just at work all the time your child is home you can end up being ‘repalced’ by someone IN their lives.

 and Woody...thats whats happened to him. He’s there for Bonnie, bonnie cares about him but hes not her favorite toy. shes got this HUGE extended family and she gets enough love from her parents and her surogate parents (like dollie) and Woody is just one of dozens of ‘relatives” that help her out.

and So this LAST movie is about him finally learning that though loving a child is precious. that trying again is admirable. that when you love a child its about the CHILD not you, and that you WILL get hurt, but its WORTH IT. “this is what its all about” that helping create and nurture this kid is worth any heartbreak, of the kid outgrowing you, even the kid forgetting you.

BUT That its a choice and you can and SHOULD at some point CHOOSE to LIVE FOR YOURSELF. Woody has presumably spent all of Andy’s dad’s childhood, all of Andy’s childhood and a few years with Bonnie, raising kids, inspiring them. he’s existed for like 50 years. and He wouldnt trade those memories for the world. but He cant get that back. he cant relive the past. Its the past.

and so he decided to do what all parents should do, move on and find a fulfilling life for HIMSELF.

YOU DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE FOR YOURSELF.

and thats why it pisses me off that people are like “woody would never leave bonnie”

raising kids is great but you cant have a LIFE if you live only for that. You have to be your own person and EVENTUALLY even if you decide to dedicate your life to kids, EVENTUALLY you have to live for yourself

[coolseanobuseng]

New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-overcoming-myths-about-men/

Everything You Need To Know About Overcoming Myths About Men

This article about everything you need to know about overcoming myths about men won’t disappoint.

Have you ever found yourself making the same mistake over and over simply because you didn’t know any better at the time?

We’re all human’s from time to time we unintentionally make the occasional blunder due to a bunch of mistaken assumptions running in the back of our mind.

These false beliefs keep us blissfully unaware that our ill-informed decisions will actually lead us to disaster!

And you know what? This isn’t a bad thing in itself because learning from our mistakes adds to our body of knowledge. However, wouldn’t you want to AVOID making these boo-boos if you COULD?

This is why you need to UNLEARN any incorrect notions that could cloud your better judgment.

Sometimes, it just takes another pair of eyes to identify the mindsets that could drive you towards perfectly preventable mistakes. Gain some fresh insight by going here:

https://www.meetysweet.com – Everything you need to know about overcoming myths about men.

How many times have you gotten into a situation that yielded bad results? Because you had the wrong ideas in mind?

Certain perceptions of men can mess up your chances of having a great relationship with them. When we assume given things about the opposite sex, your actions could PREVENT the relationship from going in a healthy direction.

Everything you need to know about overcoming myths about men.

Thus, let’s take a look at a couple of the most common myths about men which you need to steer clear of:

#1: Guys are into “low maintenance” women.

Actually, this wouldn’t be a problem if the term “low maintenance” wasn’t misconstrued in the first place. Oftentimes, when some misguided women hear this adjective, they equate it to having no opinion of their own. And being a complete PUSHOVER.

This attitude reminds me of the 1950’s housewife archetype often portrayed in TV sitcoms of the same era.

You know what I’m talking about: Sugary-sweet on the outside, but brimming with unspoken emotions on the inside.

She’s the one who’s afraid to mess up a perfectly good relationship by speaking up too much. This is the kind of girl who has regrettably shut off her ability to express her feelings in a healthy way.

Sadly, this glaring misconception is unconsciously driving many women to behave in a very NEEDY way. In the back of their minds, they take the idea of being low-maintenance to such an EXTREME. That they’ve become a mere shadow of their former selves.

Being ‘low maintenance’ in the truest sense of the word is defined by REALISTIC qualities.

This is a well-adjusted, reasonable person who doesn’t throw a fit when her partner unwittingly makes the occasional offhand remark.

(And I emphasize ‘OCCASIONAL’, as opposed to ‘habitually’, but anyway’)

This is also the kind of girl who can properly manage her feelings MOST of the time. And keeps emotional meltdowns to a reasonable minimum. When it comes to mood swings, low maintenance women don’t often have these and only under the most stressful of circumstances.

All in all, this is an ideal picture of what low maintenance is all about.

Therefore, it’s NOT about being so laid-back to the point where you’re frazzled and out of breath from trying to please a guy’s every whim’ ‘or even TOLERATE selfishness.

And being low maintenance is definitely a far cry from transforming into a disturbingly submissive version of yourself.

Remember, there’s a difference between a cool girl that doesn’t get upset over the little things’

‘and the emotional SLAVE who doesn’t have any purpose aside from sacrificing her dignity and independence in the name of ‘love’.

The mentality you should have is that a relationship is NOT the only thing you have going for you.

If you would make a map of your life right now, would you say it’s dominated by huge chunks of land exclusively reserved for a boyfriend?

Or does this map have equally allocated areas meant for your family, friends, career and hobbies?

Even though we’re always talking about how to get into a good, healthy relationship, you have to understand that this is only ONE PART of your multi-faceted self.

The SUM of your pursuits in life defines who you are.

If you build your universe around whether you’re single or not, your resulting actions will create a very unattractive impression of neediness.

You wouldn’t want anyone to believe that having a boyfriend is the ONLY thing that motivates you in life, right? You know you’re TOO GOOD to act like that.

Don’t get me wrong ‘ it’s WONDERFUL to have a partner who adores and respects you. That crazy rush you feel when you fall in love can greatly inspire you. To great things in the other areas of your life.

However, my point is that you should still retain a good sense of PERSPECTIVE when you *do* get into a relationship. What that means is that you’d be just as fine even if you didn’t have a boyfriend at the moment.

Life was just as fine before you met him, and may certainly leave if you’re not being treated the way you should be.

Of course, I don’t mean this in an arrogant way nor am I suggesting that our partners should be the pushovers instead!

Please leave the comfort zone of your relationship if it isn’t helping your personal growth.

Also, in no way should you cover up your true feelings by waiving your right to SPEAK UP if you need to (i.e. when the terms are unfavorable).

A good relationship is always a TWO-WAY street, so don’t let the low-maintenance myth (or rather, misconception) tell you otherwise.

You may want to try these Love Texts to send to him. They’ll show you everything you need to know about overcoming myths about men.

#2: Falling in Love is Eternal Bliss Guaranteed

The other common trap women fall into is the assumption that those butterfly-in-the-stomach feelings you first get when you meet someone will remain CONSTANT in the relationship.

However, this just isn’t going to happen. Even happily married couples who’ve been together for decades know that their initial infatuation for each other evolved. Evolved into a deeper and more MATURE sense of loving.

This kind of love goes beyond the initial rush that all new couples go through. The love that’s weathered countless emotional storms, power struggles and other CHALLENGES.

The end result is a rock-solid relationship that doesn’t constantly require you to feel the heart-quickening rush found in infatuation.

But there’s no reason to panic over this fact of life. Can’t be afraid of outgrowing this primary stage in your relationship. Better things are headed your way.

Over time, the falling in love stage will eventually be replaced by something more powerful in the long run. It’s just that you’re going to go through a series of trials as a couple before you get there.

Don’t buy into the myth that loving your guy as you do now will be enough to get you through the years. Remember that neither of you are perfect; somewhere along the way, your ‘little’ differences are going to catch up to you.

(I’ve heard of couples breaking up over their brand of toothpaste, but hopefully your own relationship won’t go to that extreme!)

I’ll be honest with you here. You’re going to FIGHT tooth and nail over things like this, and you’re going to wake up and smell the coffee sooner or later. But power struggles are NORMAL after the familiarity settles in.

If you can accept the reality that love will inevitably undergo a transformation over time, then you’ll have no reason to worry about the growing pains in your relationship.

Otherwise, insisting that everything will run smoothly or take care of itself will BLIND you to speedbumps in the future.

Of course, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy the moment because being HAPPY is the point of having a relationship, right?

You just have to be aware that things will change eventually. However, you can stay happy as long as you’re cool with having to deal with the reality check phase in due time.

(No need to worry your pretty little self about stuff UNTIL you have to!)

All in all, finding happiness in a man’s arms is best done by keeping a REALISTIC perspective. No matter how head over heels you may feel at a given moment.

There are a lot of impractical beliefs and notions that we women are unnecessarily exposed to in these modern times. Like it or not, picking up unrealistic perceptions of love and dating is just a TV show or DVD rental away.

In this confusing sea of misinformation, a sassy girl definitely needs to keep her wits afloat!

For the most part, whatever is read in books or see onscreen are distilled versions of life at best. It doesn’t necessarily reflect what happens in REAL situations!

So we can’t project unrealistic fantasies onto real life and NOT expect to run into problems!

The real world naturally includes the complexities of human behavior. You need to keep this in mind when considering what men want from us and what we should expect from them. Hope you enjoyed everything you need to know about overcoming myths about men.

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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com

Are you serious about changing your love life success? The first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet’s Get a Guy Guide.

If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs. Yes, about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.

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