#she should also be rude to michael because she's still upset about the breakup

[lovecolibri]

I agree about M*ria feeling trapped and unsatisfied with her life and how it makes her cling to her powers and lash out, but assuming it's directed at Michael because he's supposed to be a friend is a more generous interpretation than mine. To me, it reads like it's directed at Michael specifically because he's the one person who's life was supposed to be an even bigger waste than hers. Alex doesn't work in this context any more than Liz or Kyle does. They all left Roswell and came back highly accomplished. I think M*ria's description of Michael from her POV was exactly how she saw him until they started dating, and it worked for a while because she wasn't privy to how much he's done for others. All she saw was the bar fights and him doing odd jobs at the Pony. But that POV no longer holds up after their relationship, and she has to face the fact everyone else has way more going on than her, and not even Michael is spending time with her if alcohol isn't involved. Not to mention, her closest friends are wrapped up in big romances, and she's no one's first priority. They should have dug into M*ria's feelings about the lost decade back in S1 instead of having her handwave Liz's ghosting with an offhand comment and never bring her friendships into adulthood. Now, both Liz/M*ria and Alex/M*ria feel heavily rooted in high school nostalgia (pretty much all her relationships do) on all sides without the show ever engaging with who the characters became as adults. You can't say this about Kyliz or Kylex, or any other adult dynamic. I don't know if S3 will ultimately ever explore any of this (M*ria at least owes Michael one hell of an apology) or if we'll all have to rely on personal interpretations forever, but I am giving it a few more episodes.

So for everyone else, this is in response to this post that I reblogged about how m*ria is projecting her issues onto Michael.

Nonnie, I really like your take here because yes, absolutely, this is the vibe I get, though I will say seeing Michael as a drunk who just gets into bar fights isn't relegated to m*ria as both Max and Isobel have pretty short fuses when it comes to Michael's more raucous behavior (even though they at least have most of the story and should know better), and Alex feels responsible for what happened to Michael's hand and everything changing after that because he doesn't have some key parts to the story. But Max and Alex especially both seem to want better for Michael (even if they don't go about telling him that in the best ways) because they know the kind of brilliance Michael is capable of, and Alex especially knows that softer, sweeter side to Michael. But the writing doesn't give us that with m*ria, and instead of giving us a "why are you doing this to yourself, I know you have so much more potential", we get her making (incorrect) assumptions about what kind of person Michael truly is, and we get her talking down to and about him. Compare that with Alex who yeah, he tells Michael he's wasting his life (making sure Michael knows that it's still his choice what he does, because Michael is taking into account everyone else's needs instead of his own), but is also always defending Michael to other people, reminding them he's a good person, reminding m*ria that Michael bore the weight of Isobel's sins for a decade just so she wouldn't have to, because Michael thinks his life is expendable and hers isn't. (Sidebar, please don't make me think about Michael Guerin and Evan Buckley parallels right now and how much they both need hugs.)

And then we get to the crux of why her words hit so poorly and so much different that the frustrated but borne of love words from others: "it reads like it's directed at Michael specifically because he's the one person who's life was supposed to be an even bigger waste than hers." That's it. That's the issue. She still sees Michael as nothing more than someone who sits on a barstool wasting his life away and picking fights and the more she learns about his selfless actions, about his whole ass science lab he's been running in his bunker, about all the research, and alien artifacts he's found, bought, or stolen, about how he was the one that broke through Alex's hard shell he made to protect himself, about how he worked with Kyle and Liz (both people she knows are very smart and that she highly respects) to find a way to save Max and even built him a pacemaker in a matter of hours because he's a literal genius, the more she realizes she has no idea who he is, and he, over the course of the their "relationship" never really lets her in to see these things. It's all mostly learned second hand.

"she has to face the fact everyone else has way more going on than her, and not even Michael is spending time with her if alcohol isn't involved. Not to mention, her closest friends are wrapped up in big romances, and she's no one's first priority." Exactly! Season 1 she just played oracle to Liz, giving her info about Rosa and not gonna lie, even at the end of season 1 I was still pretty sure m*ria was in the grade ahead of Liz and was Rosa's friend more than anyone else's because that's all she was around to do besides being a person-shaped obstacle to Malex in a role that could have been filled by literally any other person, male or female with the same outcome. The way they didn't allow Alex to have any negative emotions towards m*ria about that whole thing, means the fact that it was her specifically and not a rando guest star makes absolutely no difference to the way it played out. So what was even the point? Season 2 still found her not being a priority for anyone except for Michael who is obviously trying to hide from things he doesn't want to deal with, and even with that, she's not his priority in a way that works for her. Which leads into season 3 and Liz is gone, Michael has been avoiding the Pony (or wait? Has she not seen him around in awhile, or has he spent the past year sitting on a barstool doing nothing? I don't remember 🙄🙃), and Kyle is lecturing her about refusing to take basic precautions for her medical condition, but Kyle is also lecturing Max, and staying on top of things with Rosa, and keeping up with Liz, and oh yeah! Being a full time doctor. So now it comes off like she's pushing so hard to have these visions because they are making her the center of attention and without them, what does she bring to the table? Especially now that Isobel is (and apparently always has been if Jones is to be believed?) the empath.

Which leads into your next point "They should have dug into M*ria's feelings about the lost decade back in S1 instead of having her handwave Liz's ghosting with an offhand comment and never bring her friendships into adulthood. Now, both Liz/M*ria and Alex/M*ria feel heavily rooted in high school nostalgia (pretty much all her relationships do) on all sides without the show ever engaging with who the characters became as adults." This sums up the issue so well. We have seen how everyone else has grown over the past decade, but all we know about her is she bought the bar and has made some improvements and is hustling to make ends meet while caring for her mom. But those things only seem to come up when they are convenient, instead we hear more about her going to Rosa's grave, and holding on to a high school grudge against Isobel and most of her and Liz's interactions are about Rosa and the past.

Michael may put on a surface show for everyone else, but he's never stopped working on his research because he doesn't need to go to college to keep learning and hey! having a job that keeps his hands busy but his mind fairly clear is probably really helpful for him. He has a roof over his head, he has his research, and he has Isobel sometimes Max, and sometimes Alex, and he occasionally gets to both punch people being racist dicks AND needle his brother with his behavior. Michael isn't feeling "stuck" in his life, he's still actively working on all sorts of things, and when m*ria learns that he isn't this sad-sack who has it worse than her, he isn't someone she can hold her yardstick against and say "hey at least I'm better than Wyatt Long or Michael Guerin", she lashes out. And it's a shame that the show keeps pushing this more and more with her behavior, while simultaneously having NO ONE call her out on it, and try and gaslight the audience into thinking her actions aren't bad and we shouldn't hate her because look! None of the characters do! 🙄🙄🙄

I'm not ready just yet to give up on the show, but I definitely gave up on liking m*ria a long time ago and after some of the frankly ridiculous stuff we've seen in season 3 with regards to her treatment of Michael being so hostile for no reason (with still no one saying anything) and the gross way they are pushing Alex worshiping her and how they are pushing her with Straight Alex in the form of Greg, I'm not holding out a lot of hope that they will even attempt to address her behavior. 🤷‍♀️ But that's fine, I wasn't going to like her anyway after last season, so at least now I don't have put up with the show trying to pretend that anything she does now could possibly make up for her gross, manipulative behavior.

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends ~ Even If It's A Lie (part 54)

A/N I really love this chapter

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she  friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

Warnings: nothing just sadness

***

It’s like I don’t know her anymore.

She’s become this person that’s almost terrifying and daunting. There’s this hollow and tired look in her eyes, and she looks like she could break at any second.  

We haven’t seen Harper too much, she’s been busy with physical therapy, and talking with special people, as well as sleeping a lot, but we can see her, she just doesn’t interact with us.

I think she just feels so ashamed. Harper hates showing feelings, so to have this huge cloud of suffocating feelings in the room, makes her feel even worse. I’m conflicted between being here to support her or leaving her alone so I don’t overwhelm her, but by leaving her alone, I’m worried that she might feel like I don’t care about her anymore, which is the complete opposite because she’s one of the only things I care about.

I would give anything to just hug her and make it all better, but we don’t live in a fairytail. It’s so frustrating, because now she’s woken up it’s just like she’s in a coma again, only she can move and talk.  

There’s like an invisable barrier between us, where as this time last year, I could run towards her without hitting anything, the only thing I’d hit is love, coming from both of us.

Ever since we talked the night she woke up, I can’t get her words out of my head, all of them. The fact that she doesn’t want to live anymore, that she said it all comes back to one person and she doesn’t want to experience all these achievements because it won’t be with the right person, and when she said we both made stupid choices.

She’s right we did make stupid choices.

These weren’t mistakes they were choices.

I made the decision the sleep with another woman.

She made the decision to not move.

They were both fucking stupid.

It’s the silence between us that hurts the most. I’m right next to her or at least in the same room, yet we couldn’t feel further away. I just wish she’d talk to me, not just casually, but about what’s going on in that head of hers. I don’t know how she feels, is she confused, angry, upset, anxious, or even emotionless? I just don’t know.

It’s not just me she’s not talking to, Harper isn’t talking to the others either, she talks to them but they’re half assed simple words, but it’s something, right?

They don’t know how to deal with it or what to do.

Sometimes it’s so awkward between us, which makes me so sad, because we all used to be the closest little group. That was one of Harper’s worries when we first started dating, what if we don’t work out, what happenes to our friendship group?

You don’t just get one of us, you get all of us, and we come as a package, but now that’s not so much the case. Which is so sad to see, years of friendship getting torn apart because of two people, well, basically one person.

Harper and I’s breakup has put a strain on quite a few things.

Firstly the band, I’m not always in the right mindset and feel as if I’m not actually there, so being the frontman of the band and that being said, those things don’t collide well.

Secondly, my friendship with the band, because I don’t feel like I’m actually there, I fuck up sometimes, with lyrics, guitar playing, and sometimes just missing my cue. All that frustrates the boys and makes us look bad, when they are doing perfectly well.

Thirdly my concentration, I just can’t concentrate, my mind drifts into a daydream. Which sometimes is a good thing, because I take some of the things that happen and put it into a song, but it happens far too often, and a lot of the time, it’s a really personal and private thought, which I could never sing to millions of people. Although, I have written some songs which are just for me, which contain some of my darkest secrets. It’s almost like a diary but a little more to it, because whilst I’m writing I can focus on just that thought, whilst my mind ignores all the others.

It’s also put a strain on my mental stability, relationship with a lot of people because I don’t like people seeing me vulnerable, which causes me to distance myself.

My life is on pause whilst I attempt to deal with this all, but it doesn’t entirely pause because time still goes by and I still have to live life but do a bodge job of it.

This damn girl is causing me hell when she’s not even in my life anymore.

“Hey.” Me and Calum say in unison as we walk into Harper’s room.

“Hi.” Sarah smiles and looks up from her book.

“Hello.” Michael waves, without taking his eyes off his phone.

Harper looks up from painting her nails and meets my eyes, I send her a subtle nod and she gives me a tiny smile before going back to her nails.

Well that’s new.

“Can you paint my nails.” Calum asks as he sits next to Harper.

“Uh, why?” Harper furrows her eyebrows.

“Excuse me, this is the 21st century, boys can have their nails painted too.” Calum gasps.

“I didn’t say boy’s can’t.”

“Please?” He begs.

“What colour do you want?” She sighs.

“Yay! Well I don’t think dark red will suit me.” Calum motions to Harper’s nails, which are currently half done. “Do you have black?”

Harper puts the brush back in the pot, before carefully picking out some black nail polish from a little jar.

“Let me finish painting my nails first.” She says and goes back to painting her nails.

Michael and Calum begin to talk about some random show, whilst I lean against the wall watching Harper.

The way she purses her lips and raises an eyeborw when she’s concentrating, the way she tilts her head to the left slightly and analyses her work before moving on to the next nail.

“Cal.” Harper says.

“Yes?” He asks.

“Hand.”

“Oh right.” He nods and places his hand on the little table.

Harper shakes the bottle of black nail polish and screws the lid of, wiping the excess off on the sides, before bringing it to Calum’s nail.

“Remind me why I’m doing this again?” She asks.

“Because you love me!” He smugly smiles.

“Deabtable.” She shrugs.

“Rude.” Calum gasps.

Well she’s definitely changed.

She barely spoke to us, now she’s actually holding a conversation with someone. “Do you want yours done too?” Harper teases me once she’s done with Calum.

“I think I’ll hold on to my masculinity for another day.” I chuckle and give her a pointed look.

“Uh, screw gender rules.” She tells me. “And what masculinity?” She laughs.

“Excuse you!” I hold my hand to my heart. “When we were dating who got rid of all the spiders?” I question.

“Uh, no, you’d just put them under a glass and then run away, then leave me to either feel like it’s watching me or sleep in Angus’ room until it suffocated.” She claims.

“I was tired, it was like 12:30, I didn’t want to deal with it.” I laugh. “And I thought you said screw gender roles.”

“You don’t have to be a dude to get rid of spiders. Plus, you could’ve stayed with me to protect me, because you’re oh so manly.”

“Why couldn’t you do it then?” I question and cross my arms, waiting for an answer.

“Because I was fucking terrified, there’s not a gender that’s less scared of spiders.” She claims.

“I dealt with it, you should be proud of me.” I say.

“Do you want me to give you a sticker?” She laughs.

“You never support me with anything I do.” I exclaim.

“What is going on?” Michael questions.

“Luke’s lack of masculinity.” Harper explains.

“Are you ever gonna let this go?” I ask.

“What do you want me to say, my manly man?” She mocks.

“I don’t like this game.” I pout.

“Whatever.” She shakes her head.

Feels nice to be able to actually joke around with Harper, it’s always been so tense ever since we broke up.

Does this mean we are getting on the right track again? I hope so, because if I can’t love her anymore, then I’d at least like to be her friend. I’m still hung up on her, it’s gonna take me years to get over her, because what we had was so real. Also it’s the only thing I have had left of her for a while now, so if I let go of that, I’d only have useless memories.

I can’t completely lose her, I’m not myself without her.

If being friends is the best we can be, I’ll take it and run with it.

“Can I touch things now?” Calum asks.

“Uh yeah, but be careful because if you come back in a couple hours with it being chipped, I’ll be mad at you.” Harper glares at him.

“I’ll try my best, if I do manage to chip it, I’ll just get Erika or Maddie to fill it in.” Calum smugly shrugs.

“Did you ever read Holes?”

“I’m here bitches, your day just got better.” Erika bursts through the door.

“We’ve talked about this before.” Harper sighs.

“Yeah b-”

“No, you just become another person I have to make an effort to talk to.”

Looks like Harper is becoming herself again, which makes me so happy.

Maddie and Erika still haven’t made up, at least that I know of, they haven’t came here together since. We haven’t really talked about it, for a couple reasons, firstly because it’s not really any of our business but theirs. Secondly because we’ve spent most of our time with Harper and we don’t want things to become awkward between Erika and Harper, we’ve never really talked about that day.

“So, how are you?” I ask not missing the pained look in her eyes when I spoke.

“Fine.” She nods and purses her lips, sticking her tongue out slightly.

Maddie has still visited, just at different times, usually in the morning, and occasionally late at night.

“Where’s Maddie?” Harper questions, clearly oblivious to situation in front of us.

“She uh, couldn’t make it.” Erika responds.

“Oh, okay. Also, where’s Ashton?” Harper asks.

“He’s doing something with his family, I’m not quite sure.” Michael answers.

“Hello.” Someone says and I turn around and see the doctor.

“Hi.” Sarah waves.

“I’ve got some great news.” He smiles. “Harper has been doing really well this past week, and everything is going well, physically and mentally. So you will be discharged in tomorrow.” He announces.

“Oh my God, really?” Harper asks.

I know how much she hates it here. Harper is a free spirit so being confined to one room let alone to a bed, has been tough on her. Don’t even get me started on the food, it tastes so bland, it’s something an old lady who can’t drive, possibly only has one eye, and just boils everything to death.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be sent off with some medication and hopefully you should be completely fine in the next few weeks. I also recommend seeing a therapist, it’s optional, you don’t have to go see one, but I’d advise it.”

“I probably will go see one when I’m back in England.” Harper replies.

“I’ll leave you guys alone for now, I’m never far away.” He waves and heads out the door.

“Thank fuck for that.” Harper says in relief and we all chuckle.

“How long are you gonna stay for once you’re discharged?” Sarah asks.

“I’m not really sure, I can’t stay long because I’ve already missed tons of school. Probably around a week, I’m not too sure.” She shrugs.

***

“I honestly don’t know what to do, she won’t even talk to me.” Erika runs a hand through her hair.

“When was the last time you guys talked?” Ashton asks.

“The day after Harper woke up, that’s been like 10 days, we’ve spoken very small words since then.” She shrugs.

“When was the last time you saw each other?” Michael asks.

“Uh, a few days ago, we ran into each other at the hospital.”

“So like, explain to me what this is all about again?” Calum enquires.

“Maddie didn’t know that I had feelings for Harper before we started dating, and she thinks that I was still in love with her when we first started dating. Which there were some feelings left, but I was so infatuated by her herself, and Harper was just a distant memory at that point. I’m not really sure why she’s making such a big deal about it.”  Erika sighs.

“Maybe because she thinks that the first part of your relationship was just a lie, and you were thinking of Harper the whole time.” Michael says.

“But that’s not the case!” Erika exclaims.

“How is she supposed to know that?” I ask.

“I don’t know.” Erika huffs and sits down in an armchair. “How did you feel when you and Harper were going out, and saw us?”

This past tense shit really hurts.

“That wasn’t really on my mind at that moment, I was more focused on Harper and her well being.” I confess.

“It’s not really a big deal is it?” Erika questions.

“It may of been wise to of told her at the beginning of your relationship, but I’m not really sure what it would’ve done.” Ashton tells her.

“I really hope we aren’t like this on our anniversary.” Erika sighs.

“It’s your year anniversary soon?” Calum asks.

“Yeah in 5 days.” Erika confirms.

I really wish Harper and I could’ve celebrated our year anniversary, although it would’ve been based on lies, I just wish we could’ve made a big milestone in our relationship. I know it’s not about numbers, as long as you’ve got love, the amount of time you are together doesn’t really matter. When Harper and I first started dating, we were already madly in love with each other, and there isn’t a set time where you know you love them. Love comes randomly, love sometimes goes randomly, love hurts, sometimes there’s multiple ways of love hurting.

The heartbreak, when you were head over heels in love with someone and all of sudden they’re ripped away from you, whether it was because of you or your time with eachother is is up. The heartbreak hurts so much, and the break up is always hard and painful to look back on. Usually heartbreak is such a long process to get over.

Time is up love, the type of love that you’ll always look back at and smile. It might of been a mutual agreement to breakup, but it was about the experiences that person gave you, the lessons you learnt from that person. It probably will hurt a little, because letting go of love will never be easy, but you’ll always be greatful for everything that happened during that time.

The worst type of love is when you keep going back and forth with one person, you’re in a continuous cycle of pain. From the outside it looks toxic, but from the inside, it’s almost normal to you. Deep down you might know that this relationship isn’t alright, but you come to a point where you’re addicted to pain and it’s so hard to let go. You kiss, then fight, then kiss again, and this cycle lasts for such a long time, and it’s so hard to get out of.

There’s deep and light love, all types off love is easy to get addicted to and hard to get over.

“Why don’t you do something romantic or something.” Michael says.

“What’s romantic in your books?” Erika laughs.

“Netflix and chill?”

“You’re a fucking loser.” I sigh.

“Name one romantic thing you’ve ever done.” Michael declares.

“When I told Harper about my feelings it was fucking movie material.” I laugh. “Plus I’ve written songs about girls before, that’s pretty romantic.”

“Well in that case, so have I.” Michael smirks.

***

“You looking forward to going home?” I ask Harper.

“Yeah.” She nods.

Harper is finally able to leave the hospital today and go home, we’re all excited for her, and I’m so glad I don’t have to spend any more time in this place. In a weird way I’m also dreading it because I won’t see harper anytime soon, even if we talk after this is all over, I won’t be able to see her in the flesh.

“Don’t forget your watch.” Sarah reminds Harper.

She nods and goes to the table next to the bed and picks up the leather strapped watch.

“You ready?” Andrew questions.

“Yes.” Harper sighs.

“Speak to you soon?” Ashton questions.

“Yeah.” She confirms and they both hug.

“I’m always a call away, feel free to talk anytime.” Erika smiles and Harper pulls her into a hug.

“Bye, lil’ sis.” Michael teases.

“Bye, big bro.” She chuckles.

“Don’t have too much fun without me, okay?” Calum says.

“Of course, anyway, a party isn’t a party without Calum Hood.” She smirks and pulls Calum into a hug.

Harper moves away from Calum and across the room, all the way to me which shocked me because although we’ve been talking recently, we’re not all good again.

“Hey.” She bites her lip looking down at her shoes.

“You’re saying goodbye, but here you’re saying hey to me.” I chuckle.

“I guess you’ve always been special.” She trails off.

“I’m gonna miss you.” I look down at her.

“I’m going to miss you too.” She admits.

“I’ll see you around?” I question.

“Maybe.”

“You take care okay? Promise me you won’t do something stupid.” I say.

“I will, and I promise you I won’t do anything.”

“I’ll wish you good luck in uni, and hope you keep my promise.” I smile.

“Thank you, I’ll wish you good luck on tour, and I’m sorry I put a pause on that.” She sheepishly says.

“Don’t feel bad because of it, babe. I had to be here, I couldn’t of just left you, I could never live with myself if I did that.” I explain.

“Goodbye hug?” Harper questions.

“Always.” I smile and wrap my arms around her waist and she wraps hers around mine.

Feels so good to hug her properly, I havent done it in months, and that’s too long.

Once we pull back, I look down at her and she looks up at me. I press my lips against her forehead and whisper, “please take care of yourself.”

***

I need to clear my head.

It’s so fucked up, I just need Harper, I’m not sure in what way, I just know I need her with me right now.

She should still be here in Australia, it’s been 5 days since she’s been discharged, but I’m not entirely sure.

We leave for tour again in a day, that’s probably the only thing I’ve got going for me right now.

It’s around 3 AM, I’ve kinda lost contact with time, I just do whatever whenever. It’s not particularly too healthy but that’s probably the smallest thing on my mind right now.

Grabbing a hoodie and quietly going down the stairs and out the door. Putting my hood up and then stuffing my hands in my pockets. Winter is approaching and that makes things really fucking cold and all though I might get frostbite, I’m willing to take that risk.

I begin to approach the old abandoned building and keep my eyes trained on the ground, where little clouds of dirt rise when I take a step.

Sitting down and dangling my feet over the edge, and lean against the railing which provides some security.

I begin to he a footsteps from behind me, and it could either be a murderer or the girl I love. Turning around I see Harper coming out of the actual building, which confuses me because that building is terrifying.

Harper freezes when she spots me and begins to walk towards me.

She sits down next to me with a huff and copies my position but rests her chin on her arms.

“What were you doing in there?” I ask.

“Uh, I was bored so I decided to explore it, there’s literally nothing in there, just broken glass, spiders, and lots of cobwebs.” She shrugs.

“How are you feeling right now?” I question.

“Alright I-”

“No, about us?” I cut her off.

“Luke…” She drags out.

“Seriously.” I say.

“Luke, there is no us anymore.” She bluntly tells me.

“Could we start a new us?” I question.

“No, we could never get back together, as much as I enjoyed being with you at the time, we’ve changed, times have changed. There’s too much going on, and just because maybe our break up has caused a lot of this, it doesn’t mean getting back together is gonna fix everything again.” She painfully states.

“So there’s actually no hope of us getting back together?” I ask for confirmation.

“What did you think was going happen, Luke? That we were gonna get back together and everything is okay, just because we’ve actually held a conversation?”

“I’m not really sure what I expected.”

“We can’t get back together Luke, too much has happened. I don’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I want to do.” She sadly stares at Sydney.

“You can say to yourself that you don’t love me, but could you please just tell me you love me one no time?” I ask.

“I couldn’t do that to you Luke.” She claims.

“Just one more time.” I desperately request as I cup her jaw. “Even if it’s a lie.” I say and a tear rolls down my cheek, but a tear also escapes Harper’s eye, and they are almost in sync.

“If I do tell you that, what’s that gonna do Luke?” She questions.

“I don’t know, but I need to hear you say it one more time.”

“Will you repeat it?” She questions.

“Always.” I nod.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

All of a sudden we both burst into tears and hold onto each other.

Here I am crying into the arms of my ex girlfriend, infront of Sydney, at 3 AM, overdosing on false hope.

“I’m so sorry.”