#she’s relieved (she’s a grieving disaster lesbian. i feel so bad for her)

[jelfish-aether]

NEW DISGRUNTLED OLD MAN ALERT

[arofili]

rare pairs exchange 2020 letter :)

Hello lovely creator, thanks for writing for me in the Rare Pairs Exchange!! I’m very excited and grateful for whatever you write me :) Here are my thoughts on the various Silm ships I requested!!

Elemmírë/Findis: Vanyarin lesbians!! I see Elemmírë as a woman (specifically a trans woman, though if you don’t want to get into the details of her gender that’s fine), and a major reason in why Findis stuck around in Aman instead of leaving with her siblings. I like the theory that Glorfindel is Findis’ son, which would make Elemmírë his other mother. But if you’d rather depict them as not together at the time of the Darkening, that would be fine too; maybe Elemmírë is upset at the thought of Findis leaving but Findis stays because she’s realized she’s in love with Elemmírë, or something like that. Elemmírë wrote a song about the Darkening, so I think focusing on that time of fear and uncertainty would be very interesting. I would like a happy ending with these two, though.

Celegorm/Dior: Look, they’re both called “the Fair,” and Celegorm was into Dior’s mom. I’d love an exploration of a fucked-up dynamic between them. I’d prefer if they know who each other are, so not identity porn. Maybe Celegorm is trying to seduce Dior into giving him the Silmaril, or Dior is trying to seduce Celegorm into not attacking Doriath, or they’re both trying to get revenge on each other for what happened surrounding Lúthien, or whatever. Rivalry and hatefucking would be great. No non-con, please, not even in reference to the Celegorm and Lúthien situation, but dub-con would be delicious. “Mutually sensual murder” is about the happiest ending I can think of for these two so feel free to make it dark!

Ok here are my Finrod ships. I love Finrod as completely unashamed of his sexuality and sleeping with whoever he wants...and as a result while I’d prefer no PWP for any other ships, if Finrod’s involved, go for it! It’s what he would want! Though if you want to include some plot I would be delighted :)

Finrod/Turgon: This is my rarepair to end all rarepairs tbh. I honestly don’t know why these two are not shipped more! I am desperate for any and all content with them, I am not picky at all, I just love them. Fun times in Aman before things get dark and serious would be lovely, I think in that context their relationship would be more casual (or at least they’re trying to make it casual and that leads to hurt feelings). I’d rather not focus on their relationships with their canon love interests, mostly because I’m not a fan of stories about jealousy (also because I see both Finrod and Amarië as gay and together mostly out for convenience’s sake), but I do ship Elenwë/Amarië so those two having some sort of arrangement with Finrod and Turgon could be fun. But feel free to just ignore any of that and depict Finrod and Turgon together without their respective ladies! If you go into Beleriand times, I like: Turgon grieving Elenwë and finding solace with Finrod; whatever went down that night by the river they never wanted to talk about again; helping each other build their hidden kingdoms; Finrod sneaking into Gondolin maybe??; repressed Turgon being angsty about discovering his bisexuality and Finrod either helping him or making things more complicated; Finrod missing Turgon and trying to distract himself in Nargothrond (maybe in combination with another Finrod ship I put down?). A Beleriand-focused story that ends sadly would be fine, I do love some First Age angst. Post-reembodiment scenarios would also be great. I think that whatever the situation between Amarië and Finrod was, she’s moved on from him by the time he’s reborn; maybe she’s with Elenwë now, which would make Turgon’s life a bit easier. Or maybe Turgon can make room for both Elenwë and Finrod. If you go this route I’d prefer a happy ending. Or maybe you want to do an AU with them! Supernatural creatures? Some other fantasy setting? A space opera? Honestly the only AU I wouldn’t be interested in is a modern AU, I’m very picky with my Silm Modern AUs. Honestly like I said earlier, I would love ANY content with Finrod and Turgon, you’d make me very happy if you depicted them together!! Feel free to ignore any of the stuff I said if you’ve got a better idea!!

Celegorm/Finrod/Curufin: The Nargothrond Disaster Trio. Curufin and his pet blonds. Finrod and his pet Fëanorians. Whatever you’d like to call them, I can’t get enough of these three! I see their relationship as full of politics all the way around: Curufin is very upfront about it, Finrod tries to deny it, Celegorm sees it as secondary to the actual fun but still there. Maybe C&C think they’re seducing and manipulating Finrod, but Finrod thinks he’s seducing and manipulating C&C... Fics where Finrod gets fucked by both of them at the same time are *chef’s kiss* very good. I love short Curufin / tall Celegorm / average height Finrod. Curufin controlling the situation and then accidentally letting himself go is very fun. My favorite versions of this ship have Celegorm and Curufin using Finrod as a buffer between them, but if you wanted to include some hints of Celegorm/Curufin that would be okay, just nothing too explicit. I mean, be as explicit as you’d like where Finrod’s involved, but keep the sibling incest to a minimum, if that makes sense.

These next few fall into the category of “I have so many Maedhros ships but I also love Russingon most of all, why not ship BOTH of them with someone else?” (Also just...putting this out there...there aren’t enough fics that take advantage of Maedhros’ stump...)

Fingon/Maedhros/Finrod: Look, Maedhros and Fingon are ridiculously in love, and Finrod is a hoe, and I can’t believe there wasn’t at least one time they had a threesome. Again, Finrod getting fucked by both of them at once would be excellent. Finrod is canonically friendly with the Fëanorians in Beleriand and goes hunting with Maglor and Maedhros, maybe this is a time where it’s Fingon instead of Maglor and they fuck in the woods, or Maedhros and Fingon visit Nargothrond, or Maedhros and Finrod visit Barad Eithel, or Fingon and Finrod visit Himring. Is this a planned encounter? Something spontaneous? Is Finrod seducing them both, or are they inviting him in? Did Maedhros and Finrod have a fling in Valinor, or did Finrod and Fingon find comfort together on the Ice, or both? I’d love to see where you take this!

Fingon/Maedhros/Mairon: Okay I love how many possibilities there are for this ship. I’d like it to be mostly consensual - feel free to redeem Mairon, make Melkor irredeemable, etc, whatever you need to do to get there. Does Mairon have a soft spot for Maedhros as a prisoner in Angband, and he’s relieved/helpful when Fingon comes to rescue him? Is it an AU where Fingon gets captured trying rescue Maedhros and Mairon helps them break out? Or an AU where Fingon is imprisoned after the Nírnaeth instead of killed, and Maedhros manipulates Mairon into helping him rescue Fingon? I would prefer not to have a dark!Maedhros in this, but maybe he pretends to break under torture and he gets “rewarded” with a lordship in Angband and he and Mairon scheme to overthrow Morgoth. Basically, Maedhros and Mairon have something weird and fucked up going on but Maedhros is always going to prioritize Fingon, and Mairon and Fingon have to deal with both of them being involved with Maedhros. Does Mairon break with Melkor, or does he stick with his abusive master/lover til the end? Is he torn between what he “knows” is right and what his nature as a Maia servant to a Vala demands of him? There are sooo many ways to take this and I’d love to see one or more of them explored!

Fingon/Maedhros/Azaghâl: I’m a sucker for elf/dwarf ships, and there aren’t very many in the First Age! I’d love to see Maedhros dealing with whatever’s going on with him and Azaghâl while at the same time grappling with what that means for his preexisting relationship with Fingon. Maybe Fingon is kind of jealous until he meets Azaghâl and starts to like him too, or maybe he’s supportive of Maedhros exploring this relationship because he knows that Azaghâl is mortal and Mae will always come home to him at the end. I think Fingon getting in on the action, perhaps to his surprise, would be very fun! Also: Azaghâl gave the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin to Maedhros, who gave it to Fingon, who gave it to Hador...it’s like the Boyfriend-hood of the Traveling Helmet. If that was involved in the story I would be very amused! I’ve seen some versions where Azaghâl is a female dwarf, which is interesting, but my Maedhros is gay so I’d rather not have that here. Unless you want to make Maedhros and Fingon both women, too, in which case go for it!

Maedhros/Turgon: Okay in my head Turgon hates the Fëanorians and blames them for his wife’s death and all the awful things that have happened to him and his family, and since Fëanor himself is dead he shifts all that blame onto Maedhros (and there’s the added resentment that Maedhros is fucking Turgon’s brother). Of course he also blames himself but he doesn’t want to admit that. Maedhros on the other hand (which he only has one of) doesn’t like Turgon but he also blames himself for a lot of the bad things that have happened and basically this all comes to a head after Fingon’s death where they’re both grieving and angry with each other and themselves. Hatefucking!! Fealty - Mae already had a fealty kink from Fingon’s time as king, and now he’s swearing loyalty to Turgon as the new High King... Maybe this is the immediate aftermath of the Nírnaeth and everything is super raw, or maybe it’s some sort of AU where Turgon gets off his ass and tries to unite the Noldor against Morgoth when Ulmo warns him about Gondolin’s fall and he has to confront his least favorite half-cousin. Comparisons between Fingon and Turgon’s physical appearances would be great, Maedhros almost letting himself forget that Fingon is dead for maximum angst, but then Fingon was short and Turgon is almost as tall as Mae is so the illusion is shattered and also Turgon just REALLY hates that Maedhros was genuinely in love with his brother because it would be easier to despise Mae if that was all manipulation. Mae not taking care of himself and purposefully pissing Turgon off and letting himself be manhandled. Turgon who hates how much this is all turning him on. Just a lot of resentment and angst!!

Ok now we get to the Túrin ships, prepare for this disaster human being even MORE of a disaster!

Andróg/Beleg/Túrin: I love Beleg/Túrin (don’t we all?) and throwing Andróg into the mix is very interesting to me! Were Túrin and Andróg messing around before Beleg showed up again? Andróg is canonically jealous of Beleg’s relationship with Túrin, and mistreats him...but Beleg heals his wounds anyway. Enemies to lovers would be very fun here, with tension born of both rivalry and attraction. Is Túrin trying to nudge his two lovers together? Is he trying to be with both of them separately but they make things difficult? Does Beleg try to save Andróg when Amon Rûdh falls? Really anything with these three during the time they’re together in canon would be excellent.

Finduilas/Gwindor/Túrin: I JUST THINK THEY COULD HAVE MADE IT WORK, YOU KNOW? There’s some juicy Túrin/Gwindor lines in COH, Túrin has a thing for blonds so I can see him developing feelings for Finduilas even if he didn’t necessarily have them in canon, Gwindor and Finduilas’ doomed romance just breaks me and I want to FIX it!! If they had been better at communicating, maybe...idk, this could be a fix it or not, but they’re all drama queens and they’re all in love with each other and what if Túrin had managed to save Gwindor and Finduilas and they all went to Brethil together, or something?? Who knows I just need them all together!

Maeglin/Túrin: I feel like I’m the only person sailing this ship but I will go down with it. So WHAT that they never met in canon?? They have MATCHING SWORDS and they’re both doomed by family curses and I think it would be incredibly sexy of Túrin to go to Gondolin. Or maybe Maeglin and Aredhel escaped to Nargothrond (perhaps with Celegorm and Curufin?) and that’s where they meet? What if their curses cancel each other out and they help each other avoid their dooms! What if Maeglin tries to duel Túrin for the right to wield Anglachel! What if Túrin also has a thing for Idril (again...he’s got a thing for blonds, especially blond elves) and they bond over being jealous of Tuor and then fall in love! What if they refuse to acknowledge the insane amount of sexual tension between them until some incredibly inopportune moment like Idril and Tuor’s wedding! So many possibilities and I just adore the concept of this ship!!

Celebrimbor/Maeglin/Túrin: I like to call this ship “Doomed Disaster Boyfriends.” I think this works best in that Maeglin in Nargothrond AU; Celegorm and Curufin have been exiled by Celebrimbor and Maeglin and Aredhel stayed behind in Nargothrond when they left, or maybe Aredhel went with them but Maeglin didn’t, or maybe Aredhel fought in the Nírnaeth and didn’t make it through the battle or something. Although if you wanted to take the Gondolin route instead, where Tyelpë makes his way to Gondolin after the Nírnaeth and Túrin joins up with Tuor instead of heading to Brethil, that would be neat too. Or if you want to go a super dark route: Tyelpë was taken captive to Angband after the Nírnaeth, and Beleg didn’t manage to rescue Túrin so he’s in Angband too, and Maeglin gets kidnapped himself, so they all try and break out together... Anyway: whatever the situation they’re all horribly doomed, they all have family curses, Tyelpë and Maeglin is a great ship because they’re both smiths and everyone hates their dads, Maeglin and Túrin is a great ship because they have matching swords and they’re both super dramatically emo, Túrin and Celebrimbor is a great ship because honestly of course it was Tyelpë who reforged Anglachel into Gurthang and they were both kind of outsiders in Nargothrond - anyway just. Throw them all together into one screaming angsty mess that probably ends up even worse than in canon, I would LOVE that. And Tyelpë outlives both his boyfriends and eventually falls for Annatar who unbeknownst to him had a hand in both their awful demises...

Celebrimbor/Narvi/Annatar: Why feel torn between Celebrimbor/Narvi and Celebrimbor/Annatar when you can have BOTH? We don’t know when Narvi was alive, and it’s entirely possible Annatar’s stay in Eregion overlapped with the crafting of the Doors of Durin. Maybe Tyelpë has a preexisting relationship with Narvi and falls in love with the beautiful stranger; maybe Narvi tries to warn Tyelpë about how suspicious Annatar is but is eventually charmed by him too. Narvi giving Annatar the shovel talk would be amazing. Really I’m interested in anything with these three interacting! Like I mentioned earlier, I love elf/dwarf ships and elf/Ainu ships are great too, so this is a great combination of them :) I generally see Narvi as a female dwarf, but if you’d like to have Narvi be male that’s fine too.

Wow this was longer than I anticipated - I have a lot of rarepair feelings! Thanks for reading this far, and whatever you end up writing for me I am super excited to read it!! And if have questions or ideas or something, my askbox is open and I have anon messages on, I’d love to talk! Thank you <3