#she’s thinking about that time her and Kanaya cuddled under the sun

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

People who characterized Rosebot as an uncaring person about Kanaya while they painted Davebot as a soft sadboy for Karkat don’t like seeing a bad bitch yearn

[milomeepit]

Jade/Dave/Karkat OT3 Time Y'all

GUESS WHO’S STILL HOMESTUCK TRASH KIDDOS

@theyhoolikeowls

It was never meant to happen like this, you reflected as you fell to your knees in the soft, green grass.

You lived together in Cantown. After everyone made it into the new world- your new world- everything fell into place. You spent most of your days hanging out with your friends. It was amazing, being able to spend time with them for real. Being able to reach out and touch them, not just lay your hand against a cold screen. Everything was perfect. Well, almost.

There were still nights where Karkat woke up screaming from a nightmare. He’d sob against your shoulder as you stroked his fluffy hair, Dave rapping quietly to soothe him. Those were the nights you didn’t sleep at all. After settling him down, watching a romcom with him, Dave would roll over and fall asleep. But you would lie in bed, listening to Karkat’s gentle snores, Dave’s faint wheezing breaths. Your eyes would burn as you stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. Images of your friends- of Dave and Karkat- bleeding. Screaming. Dying. Those were the nights you stayed awake all night, keeping an eye on all of your friends through your space powers.

A little while after coming to the new world, Davepetasprite^2 had shown up. Nobody was quite sure where they’d come from, but they were welcomed nevertheless. Of course, talking to Kanaya, Dave, Dirk, John and yourself, the six of you had been playing with the idea of using your combined powers to pull some of your deceased friends from the old session’s timeline via Dirk’s heart player powers. Nobody had been willing to try it yet though, or even mention it to anyone outside of your own private conversations with one another.

One of the not-so-great things about living so close to your friends was when you blew your fuse. Despite your best efforts, just forcing a happy disposition and getting on with it didn’t work as well face-to-face, and you ended up pretty moody for quite a while after the first time you lost your temper. You had been playing chess with Jake, and he’d continually made moves that weren’t legal, despite your attempts to teach him otherwise. When he moved two pieces during your turn, you had… lost your composure. Karkat understood your anger, and at the time, that had been enough to make you pause midway through trampling a flower patch. He’d let you vent, nudging you to make you lash out at him until all of your pent-up aggression was exhausted. You’d spent the rest of the day together, trying to save the flowers. You tried to apologise a few times for lashing out, but he would cut you off every time, bringing up different movies he thought you might enjoy. Eventually, you’d let it rest, content to spend the time patting soil back into the ground, lifting damaged roots out of the dirt so that the new growth could repair the flower patch, in time.

Speaking of time, Dave hadn’t been altogether happy with that at the time. He got pretty standoffish for a while there, but after some prying, you realised he was jealous. Things ended up happening pretty quickly, you being unable to choose between your boys. You loved them both, but you didn’t want them to fight over you like they’d fought over Terezi. They were friendlier to each other once the three of you had a looooong discussion, and eventually… it all slotted together, including them. You’d tried all sorts of names on what the three of you had that didn’t work, so eventually you gave up trying to call it anything! It was confusing sometimes, but you were all happy. Oh, you still remembered the look on Jake’s face the first time he walked into your shared home to find the three of you entangled and cuddling one another. It brought a smile to your face whenever you thought about it.

After coming into the game, everyone had just kind of found themselves moving in with some of the others. Calliope, Roxy, Jane, John and Mr Crocker lived in a large home a few miles away from you. Terezi and Vriska shared an apartment halfway up the tallest building in town, giving them plenty of freedom to travel all over the city. Dave and Dirk lived together, right next door to Kanaya and Rose, who were two houses down from you and Jake, with Karkat and Gamzee across the road. You’d gotten to know Jake a lot better in that time. Jake… he was such a sweet, oblivious guy. And you appreciated that you both had someone you could talk to. That whole moirails concept really worked after all, you found yourself thinking amusedly.  Although, you didn’t curl up in piles of stuff like the trolls did; you tended to have your heart to hearts in the kitchen while trying to cook some or other fancy or exotic dish that Jake decided looked interesting enough to try. You weren’t a particularly picky eater, so it didn’t bother you what he picked usually. There were some cuisines you drew the line at, though; grubsauce, for example. It was always fun trying out new recipes, and it gave you two a chance to bond and talk about whatever grievances you may currently have with life. You could fondly recall many an afternoon where Jake would end up ranting some long string of explosive gadzookery as he pummelled a hunk of dough into submission.

After several years, one such afternoon of angst-induced cooking had led into a picnic with the whole gang. After helping you set up the food, Jake had immediately gone off to find Dirk. Rose and Kanaya had claimed a spot under a nearby tree and were talking quietly, gazing up at the sky. The then-dubbed ‘Crocker Clan’ had arrived a little late, but Mr Crocker, being his usual self, had baked an apology cupcake along with the other desserts he had brought, which he presented to you rather sheepishly. You laughed it off and waved for them to sit down with you. Vriska and Terezi brought Gamzee with them, brushing off your questioning with a shrug before they wandered off to go play soccer with Dirk and Jake.

Even after the soccer game had finally finished and the players had sat down, out of breath and all laughing as Jake nursed a small bruise on his cheek from a particularly vicious kick of Vriska’s, neither Dave or Karkat had shown up yet. You bit your tongue, telling yourself that they wouldn’t miss this. They knew how hard you and Jake had worked organising the event. They’d be there. However, as the sun began to lower, and the day dipped into late afternoon with no sign of them, you couldn’t help but frown. John asked you what was wrong, and you hesitantly explained, not wanting to sound whiney or like a drag. He bit his lip and shrugged. That was when the tears began to fall, fogging up your glasses. You pulled them off and wiped them absentmindedly, staring at your lap as you continued to cry, your vision blurring further and further as the minutes ticked by.

Eventually, a pale hand reached past the dark curtain of your hair and tipped your chin up. You sniffled as two blurry figures came into focus. The pair of them were kneeling down in front of you, and the grey blur was clutching something to his chest possessively. Hushed voices spoke comforting words, repeating apologies over and over to you as the hand left your chin to take your glasses from your limp hands and set them back on your face. As Dave and Karkat came back into focus, they exchanged a look and Karkat opened the box. Sparkling silver, with tiny diamonds around a green tourmaline stone, it brought tears to your eyes all over again as you tackled them both in a hug, the rest of your friends cheering and smiling around you.

It was perfect. The Crockers worked with an almost superhuman ethic to make the perfect cake. There was a lot of time spent tasting cake, to the point you began to worry if Kanaya would need to remeasure the three of you for your outfits, Terezi helped pick out flowers with gorgeous colours and scents, Jake rabbited on about different ideas for the honeymoon, different adventures the three of you could partake in, and the outfits… oh, the outfits Kanaya made. Crisp, elegant red and black suits for your boys, and a stunning light green dress. The bodice, tiny beads all over shining in the light. The skirt flared out from your waist, floating around your ankles in foamy, light layers of fabric. You were speechless the first time you tried it on. Dave simply repeated over and over how pretty you looked, making you giggle. It was Karkat who picked up on the small request you had made of Kanaya, commenting that the bodice was a little baggy around your stomach. You exchanged a conspiratorial smile with Kanaya before he clicked and started bellowing excitedly. Both of them crowded up to your stomach, feeling it, despite the fact you wouldn’t start showing for another few weeks at least.

On the day itself, you noticed an extra layer on the skirt, covered with itty bitty baubles. You hardly had time to question Kanaya about it, though, before you were thrust into the flurry of activity that was the wedding. As you stepped onto the length of carpet marking the aisle, a movement from Rose, standing at the front with the rest of the bridesmaids, caught your eye. She pressed a small button on a little remote, and you heard various exclamations around you. You looked down at your dress and froze, gazing at it in awe as tiny lights came to life, twinkling like stars in the night sky. You laughed a little, giddy with excitement, before looking up and spotting Dave, his mouth hanging slightly open, scarlet eyes wide and hands dropped by his sides, and Karkat, pale red tears leaking from his eyes as he smiled, fiddling with his wrist cuffs slightly as he tried to suppress that adorable fidgety thing he did when he got emotional.

The reception was great fun, too. You’d never seen so many people trying to get John to eat cake before! You’d laughed as Roxy and Jane held his arms back while Calliope admonished them, her scolding somewhat lost in between her giggles. Dirk had done the full baby-airplane routine with a tiny spoon of cake as John struggled and squealed. Eventually he had given in and, surprisingly, actually liked the cake. He’d ended up eating quite a few slices.

Life was good. Weeeell, in between rushes to the bathroom, vomiting, cravings for weird food and mood swings, that was. As you’d declined to have any kind of ultrasounds, you still didn’t know the gender of the baby, but they were certainly a big one! You felt as big as a hot air balloon, and you’d had to monstrify almost everything in the house so that all three of you could still fit in the bed, on the couch… the list went on. You were sitting in Rose and Kanaya’s sitting room, talking to Kanaya about baby clothes, when Rose suddenly walked in holding her crystal ball and grabbed her keys, telling you to get into her car. You were about to ask her why when the first contraction hit. On the way to the medical centre, she explained that she’d been looking into the future to try and keep an eye on any possible complications and foresaw that you were due.

There was some trouble, something to do with the baby needing to turn, and the doctor had to knock you out and do a Cesarean. Dave and Karkat were sitting on either side of you when you woke up. You blearily asked them what was happening, and Dave laughed a little, holding out a small bundle in a blanket. You sat up and almost crashed into Karkat, who was busy nursing a second bundle, which confused you for a few moments until they explained that the bump that you had all assumed was one really big baby had in fact been two slightly-smaller-than-average babies. Twins, a boy and a girl. They both had dark hair, the boy inheriting your clear green eyes while the girl had sparkling red eyes like Dave. You named them Jesse and Taylor, ecstatic with your surprise.

Karkat seemed somewhat distant after the twins were born, though. He helped look after them, and still spent time with you and Dave, but he was drifting away from the two of you. As you sat in the twin’s nursery one night, rocking them to sleep, your eyes filled with tears and you let out a choked sob. You couldn’t lose him. You loved him. Both of you did. By the time that Dave appeared in the doorway, a sheet still tangled around his legs, boxers half-twisted around his waist and sunglasses propped crookedly on his face to protect his sensitive eyes from the light, you were crying wholeheartedly, sobbing into your hands as the twins whimpered in distress. He wrapped his arms around you, rocking the twin’s cribs with his feet as he asked you what was wrong. Despite your being only able to choke out Karkat’s name weakly, his frown indicated he knew what you meant. Karkat, the heaviest sleeper of the three of you, finally came lumbering down the hallway at that moment, cursing sleepily and asking what was happening. It all came out of you in a flood. Karkat seemed to shrink before your eyes as you yelled and pleaded and cried. Dave stayed silent, staring down at the ground in silent despair as you finished your tirade. Karkat mumbled something about species, and you heard rather than felt your feet thump across the floor before you smacked him across the face. Tears streamed down both of your cheeks as you grabbed one another in a hug, Dave quietly rocking the twins so that they didn’t freak out. You sternly explained to Karkat that it didn’t matter whether he was a troll or a whale, he was part of your family, and he was the twin’s father, regardless of genetics (it wasn’t like any of you had a nuclear family anyway) and more so, he was yours and Dave’s crabby little troll and you both loved him. The last thing you remembered from that night was the three of you curled up on the floor in the twins room, Karkat sandwiched between you and Dave as the three of you drifted off to sleep.

The years flowed by, with their ups and downs. Davepetasprite^2 occasionally still brought up the idea of combining your powers, the concept dubbed ‘Operation Ghost Warp’, but every time, somebody had some sort of argument against it, that it was too risky to try at that point. The twins grew up, Jesse taking to playing with dolls and wearing princess outfits that Kanaya made for him, and Taylor becoming infatuated with playing sports, collecting bugs and climbing trees, her clothing usually covered in mud and other debris by the end of the day. One day when the twins were around 5, Taylor had come flying into the kitchen with something cupped in her hands, begging you to let her keep it. You had some experience with her shenanigans at this point, though, and asked what it was before you agreed. She proudly presented a gigantic, hairy spider with red eyes and teeth that were so large they seemed out of proportion to it’s head. You gave a little scream and stepped back, stuttering that it was far too large to keep in the house and could she please get it out of the kitchen right this instant? Taylor had glanced down at the spider and frowned, her brow furrowing as she concentrated, squinting at the spider. A familiar green glow surrounded the spider and it shrank to half it’s size. Taylor smiled up at you hopefully, eyes wide, but you were too busy being shocked. That night, when the boys got home, you called them into the living room and quietly asked Taylor to show Daddy and Papa what she’d done to the spider. Karkat shrieked a little and hid behind Dave when the spider grew to the size of a dog, and even stoic Dave jumped a little. When you asked her who had taught her how to do that, she simply beamed and proudly exclaimed that nobody had taught her, she and Jesse had figured it out all by themselves!

That had led to a series of adventures over the years, shenanigans as your children figured out their powers, a strange mixture of the Space, Time and Blood aspects. There were several times that they managed to warp themselves into somewhere they couldn’t get out of, or messed with the timeline or people’s loyalties to one another, and you, Dave or Karkat had to clean up the mess. Some people said parenting was hard. Other people said it was easy. You were still trying to figure it out yourself, but you three could all agree that while it had its trials, parenthood certainly was rewarding.

Everything slipped into a routine. You’d all have breakfast together, and the boys would go to work; Dave to the Mayor’s office to work on the law enforcement sector with Terezi, and Karkat off the preschool. You’d make lunch for the twins and take them to school, then hang out with Jake, possibly help him and Dirk with their latest renovation scheme, and then head off for your shift at the Crockers’ bakery. After a few hours of helping Jane and Roxy decorate cakes and gossiping, you’d go over to pick up the twins, head home and paint for a while until the boys got home, then the five of you would start making dinner.

However, one day while you were driving the twins home, you received a text from Davepetasprite^2. It simply read, ‘It’s time.’ Your breath caught. You swung by the Town Hall and the preschool to pick up the boys, explaining vaguely to Karkat that you and Dave had to go do some Space-Timey stuff for the others and asking him if it was okay if you left him alone with the twins for a bit. He smiled and nodded, saying it was fine. Dave glanced at you, a small, hopeful smile on his face. After dropping off the other three, the pair of you grabbed hands and warped to the park to meet the others.

The group had arranged themselves in a V formation, with a space at the point for you, and Kanaya, Dirk, Davepetasprite^2 and John fanning out, leaving a space for Dave slightly behind and to the side of you. You pulled open a crack in the air, a green and black void crackling on the other side. Dave, Dirk and Davepetasprite^2 all began searching for the old session to find the others and pull them through, with Kanaya standing by to help you seal the crack up in a hurry if need be. You all strained for a good few minutes before Dirk called out that he could feel something. A few seconds later, Nepeta tumbled through, looking rather ruffled and confused. Before she had a chance to ask, Dave yelled that something was wrong. Davepetasprite^2 shouted for you and Kanaya to close it, now. You paused for a few seconds, unsure, and a large green hand forced its way out, followed by the rest of the horrifically large, grotesque body that belonged to the cherub.

A chorus of screams rang out, and you warped everyone out of the park in a panic, tumbling into your living room. Karkat jumped to his feet, opening his mouth to ask what was happening, but you cut him off, sweeping him and the twins into your arms as tears started to pour down your face, choking out that you loved them and you were sorry, that it was all your fault, babbling incoherently for a few seconds before Karkat shut you up with a kiss, cradling your cheek in his hand. You paused, chest heaving, as he told you that it wasn’t your fault, and nobody had to blamed for it, all your team had to do was do damage control and fight for your world. You told the twins to stay in the house, no matter what, and that you and Daddy and Papa loved them so, so much, clutching them close as you caught your breath.

The adults all rushed outside as several earth-shattering crashes tore through the air, pulling out weapons that had not seen the light of day for many years. John held the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, Rose held her Thorns of Oglogoth, Jake was duel-wielding his Flintlocks of Zillyhau, Dirk with his Unbreakable Katana, Roxy had her Laser Gun, Jane had her Skaia War Fork, Dave with Caledfwlch, Karkat holding the Homes Smell You Later Sickles and you held The Girl’s Best Friend in your shaking hands. It hurt, so much, to see them all scared and angry and ready to fight. The rest of the trolls held weapons you just could not name. You all launched into battle, and everything passed in a blur. It could have been minutes later, or it could have been hours later, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Karkat leap at Lord English, screaming at the top of his lungs. You saw the golden gun raise, the muzzle lighting up brightly as Karkat jerked in midair, his eyes still glaring at his target, burning with hatred. He fell to the ground, covered in bright candy-red blood, and you heard Dave scream as if from very far away as he stopped moving.

It was never supposed to be like this, you repeated in your head as the gun turned to you.

[themockingcrows]

Two Fates, Two Kingdoms Ch. 12: Fading Moonlight

AO3 Mirror [X] This chapter is NSFW

Problems, and troubles, are like fire. Fires begin first as small embers casting warmth and attention grabbing light from a distance, easy to talk down the intensity of. It's just a spark, just a tiny flame, so easy to ignore until it's climbing the walls in a horrific inferno. Dave and John knew they were balancing over a pit of lava, but neither seemed to notice the flame licking the very tightrope upon which they walked.

     Another day of storms froze the outside of the eastern half of the castle with a solid sheen of ice, spurred on by the sharp winds that haunted the land, driving it into the very cracks of the mortar. The walls crackled gently if one held their breath and listened close enough, struggling, wanting to drop the stones apart, expanding cracks that would need to be filled again come spring. Patches of ice like dissected diamonds clung to the window panes of John's room, and made opening the window at all a struggle as it began to affect the latch and hinges. Dave stopped trying to open it up after it gave a sickly groan, worried it would break apart in his hands and leave them with a storm blowing into an opening that couldn't be blocked.

    Some was wonderful, too much was just that: too much.

    John was more up and about today, color in his cheeks and eyes finally a little more bright. He said it was because of the sound of the wind, or the food, or the sharp tea that had started to be passed along with the breakfasts Dave brought up from the kitchens each morning. Other times, like now, the heir attributed his miraculous spark of energy and normality to Dave himself.

    The Dersite had woken early with him in the dim light from the dying fire, and instead of immediately rising to put another log on and stoke it higher, he cuddled close seeking kisses and soft touches. They'd embraced and thrilled in the rush of lazy, half awake presses of lips to skin after Dave climbed atop John's body and perched on his stomach to lean easier. John's hands found his hips and began to knead fondly before slipping down further to cup his ass greedily, then slipping even lower to trail along the backs of his thighs, tracing their outline beneath the fabric of his trousers. He'd finally put on the last bit of weight he was missing, muscle and sharp angled bone given a soft covering of flesh at the very edges, smoothing him down, making him less pointy. Gone were the days of John being sure he'd grate himself on Dave's ribs if he moved just so, and here were the days of having more to playfully grab at during mornings such as this.

    “You're in a bright mood today, my moon,” John murmured against Dave's lips, sighing and lifting his chin when the Dersite jingled softly and moved his kisses lower along the heir's throat and the upper hem of his night shirt. “I take it the fun time with Kanaya you said you had is still lightening everything?”

    “You don't know the half of it,” Dave chuckled. “It's like night and day now. I don't feel that worried anymore, it was nice to get a reality check from her.”

    “Any time you're together chatting you come back in such a sunny mood, I fear you'll get sun burnt,” John joked, reaching his left hand up to stroke at the side of Dave's face instead.

    “Oh, as if I'm not dazzling while I'm here any time?” Dave asked, buzzing his lips in a wet raspberry against John's nape, making him flail and laugh reflexively. “You light up my world plenty enough, I just.. need to get some of the not so sunny things out sometimes.”

    “Things you can't tell me?” John asked. “I'd hope you feel comfortable telling me anything.. If not, I'll need to work on that a bit.” The sincere tone and the worried look to the edge of his eyes made Dave's heart clench before he kissed him directly once more.

    “No, no. There are a few things I could tell but that wouldn't make sense to you. ..Kanaya's been through some of the same things, she understands, and that helps a good deal. I'll still tell you things, but I need this John.”

    “Shhh, relax, I'm not jealous and I'd not dream of interrupting whatever strange Alternian thing she's gotten you tangled in if it makes you this happy. I was getting worried lately, all things considered. ..There's been a lot happening since you arrived, and sometimes your eyes get this far off look,” John admitted, grip tightening at Dave's hip as he grunted and sat more upright before hugging his lover tightly. “I'll listen whenever you need it, and I'll do my best to understand and help. ..I love you, Dave. I want only what will make you happy and keep you safe.”

    “I know,” Dave promised. “When I can find the right words, I'll explain as well. But for now, just knowing that is good.”

    “We're both wide awake now,” John said, nipping the top of Dave's ear before being a nuisance at the side of his head, nuzzling and whuffling like a sleepy puppy would. “How about you snag breakfast, and we'll take a look through that Skaian book and see how far we can get this time? I don't think I have any plans for the day still, unless word comes for a family meal.”

    Back came the slight apprehension to Dave's features, but instead of saying a word about it, Dave nodded in agreement. Yes, food and drink would be good, then they could safely cuddle up and read. It would be just fine, just like he and Kanaya had talked about. He just needed to stick near the guards, and keep his chin up and ignore the bad, because it wouldn't be forever, and it wasn't every single person he saw. A promise of an edible reward for his labors was tantalizing enough even with the risk of running into an ill tempered member of staff.

    “..It's back again,” John pointed out, brows furrowing. “The look on your face. Is there a problem with getting breakfast?”

    “Huh? Oh! No, no, there's no problem getting breakfast. I enjoy the walk actually, wakes me up more, gets me out in the cooler air for a while, you know that.”

    “I mentioned it and you got this worried look on your face,” John pointed out. “..Is there problems still, with the others?”

    “...Yes.”

    “Just more of the same?”

    “Louder and more aggressive, but. Yes, more of the same.”

    “Has anyone laid hands on you,” John asked, reaching up to touch at the pendant he'd given Dave before, lifting it up to toy with the clearish center that bore his crest. “Because this SHOULD be giving people pause. There's already been words in the past, do there need to be more? They're not to lay a hand on you, you're under my protection.”

    “Nothing I can't handle. Don't worry too much on it, John, stepping in will only make it even worse. They're already mad because a slave is being given special treatment that most of them will never have themselves, and because of who and what I am. More special treatment is just going to make things worse, and I don't want people leering at you as well for doting on me where others can see,” Dave insisted. “I'm just going to ignore it. If I don't escalate, it won't escalate, and they'll probably get bored eventually enough. ...I can't escalate it anyway, or really fight in this position. But you know what I mean,” Dave said seriously.

    Though John looked upset, he nodded a bit.

    “..As you wish then, love. But if you need help, or for any reason need me or someone else to step in, jus-”

    “Just tell you and others, and I'll get the help. Yes. I know. I've got this,” Dave said hurriedly, leaning forward to kiss John soundly on the mouth once more to shoosh him and force the subject to be dropped. It felt strange talking about it before, and felt strange now, and he had the distinct feeling his complaints were just whining. 'Wah, wah, the house staff doesn't like me.' 'Wah, wah, I can't handle some jeering without feeling cornered.' 'Wah, wah, I can't handle being knocked around a bit, I'm somehow too delicate now.'

    Ridiculous. He felt foolish for even bringing it up and dwelling on it so much.

    “I'm going to go get breakfast now. Do you want anything specific, aside from what I'll be bringing up?” Dave asked, crawling out of the covers and going to stoke the fire for John, brightening the room's other lights as he wandered around to find his cloak and shoes while the heir sat up and stretched.

    “..Hm. I'd love some salted pork if you can manage a bit, I've got a craving. Oh, and maybe some extra honey to go with the tea? That blend lately is wonderful, but it really needs a little.. something,” John mused, crawling tentatively out of the den of blankets to hunt down more layers, bundling up thoroughly so he could move to the next room and begin his morning.

    “Of course. I'll see what I can do,” Dave said. Acting on orders was a quick way of getting people to take him seriously, or to back off when needed. Especially when they could be backed up immediately by a guard if he went to ask questions. No special treatment here: just a Dersite scrambling to provide what he'd been told to provide, far as anyone else needed to know or care.

    With a parting gift of a swift slap to John's ass sharp enough to make the man yip in surprise, and hopefully lighten up, Dave darted out of the room and to the hallway. ..Breathe deep. Just needed to do like they'd said. Stick near the guards when he could, ignore the talk, deal with the shoves or pushes or trips, don't react. Don't fight. It's what they'd want, and he doesn't want to get in trouble in a way that not even John could save him from. If he worked fast, it wouldn't be that big of a deal anyway, right?

    ...Maybe he'd start asking John to bear the cold with him and tag along to get food. If Dave himself carried the tray, it was still him doing the labor. Right? No need for suspicion then!

    Steeling himself, Dave walked through the areas most patrolled by guards, not minding the looks of caution or distrust on their faces. He could handle distrust, and of all the people working in the castle it was guards he and John had specifically convinced of Dave's affinity for cannibalism in the past, even if it was obviously just a wild rumor. Guards had a reason to watch him closely, and knew the orders from above: keep him in one piece. He may have been of importance in Derse, but here he was just an expensive showpiece that needed to be kept mostly in one piece.

    The barren stretch of corridors and stairwells was what made Dave most anxious. Not a soul walked them for the most part, open and frigid save for the occasional person passing through on their way to another part of the castle. He made eye contact with a woman toting a mop and bucket, but quickly looked away when her expression turned into a sour sneer. Alright. No looking, then. Let her carry her mop and bucket to wherever the hell she was working, and let her be angry THERE.

    Dave's hopes of Jane being among those in the kitchen was dashed upon his arrival, as were the hopes of a quick and simple obtaining of food. It took four tries to get someone to respond to his inquiries about the missing tray, and another two to remind them that he was supposed to get a small serving as well for this meal to bring up to the bedchamber, specifically under his Master's orders. Not to mention the extra requests, the specific wants John had added on.

    “I'm supposed to bring this to him while it's still hot,” Dave said. “He's going to be very unhappy if it's all cold by the time I'm able to take this tray back up to him. Why wasn't all of this ready? Aren't the other royals meals delivered around this time?”

    “And? Should have walked faster, then, you little Dersian rat. It's no fault of ours.”

    “..What time should I arrive in the mornings to ensure his tray is ready then,” Dave asked. “Ready and full of hot food still, I mean.”

    No answers were given, but at his wheedling and needling, Dave eventually obtained everything and gave a proper bow before taking up his burden and heading outside to the passing tune of the same ridicule he'd heard before. This time for copping an attitude, trying to act like something he never would be again, trying to give the impression of power he was only living in the shadow of. The whore comments didn't come from the kitchen, thankfully.

    They came from the normally vacant expanse of hall near the stairwells, and Dave's knuckles went white on his tray as the leering people came closer to him to get in his face as he walked.

    “Where you going in such a hurry, Dersite?” one young man said, stepping in front of him so abruptly that Dave's grip on the tray wavered and he wobbled for a moment to correct it and save it all from spilling to the ground. From how he was dressed beneath his cloak, Dave was fairly sure he was one of the men from the stable. To his right was a man Dave knew was a room servant, and with a grimace, realized it was someone he recognized a bit. This man had been in John's chambers before, had seen them cuddled up, had seen how Dave would lay across John's lap like a blanket when he was up in his chair reading. Had most likely seen far more than he could count since winter came and they had gotten even more relaxed behind closed doors.

    “My Master is waiting for his breakfast, and if it gets cold I'll be in trouble and he'll be displeased,” Dave said simply, making for the stairs. Another lunge, another startle, and Dave stepped back a few paces. He adjusted his stance cautiously, trying to keep an eye on where both of these men were and what their hands were doing. What their feet were doing. How they were moving in relation to his own position as if they were armed on the field of battle. He sensed danger, and there was nobody around to give him the help that they kept saying was always there should he ask.

    No source, no help to be given. Just his fucking luck.

    “Trouble, huh? What, you'll have to wait an extra few minutes before being coddled? Or will you be without your daily blood?” the stable hand asked, arms crossed off to the side as the room servant continued to stand in Dave's way, trying to urge him back away from the stairs and not enjoying the resistance he was getting for his efforts. “Or would it be more fitting for something like you? Strung up and beat for a while till you learn your place again?”

    “Please,” said the servant. “As if the heir would do anything like that to his favorite whore. He hasn't shared his quarters with a single maid since you turned up, and everyone knows why. It's disgusting. You're probably getting off on this right now, aren't you. Being called out for what you are. What've you got to say for yourself, beast?”

    “...Move,” Dave said, voice even and firm. Don't fall for the bait, don't fight, don't react. Just get back to where the guards are, and it would all be fine. He'd have John start accompanying him on his treks again for a while. Or maybe forever. The voices and looks were easier to bear when he wasn't alone like this with his hands full.

    “Move? Are you giving ME an order? Me? Why should I listen to a slave? I don't care what you've been hearing from that lunatic royal, and I don't care what you were before. You're in chains, and you'd best start acting like it instead of trying to boss around someone above you,” the servant said, leaning forward to get his point across even more directly, not fearing the rumor of Dave's bite. Their sizes were different enough and the threat of punishment for this was so far away it didn't matter while there were no witnesses. If anything, it fueled his bravado even more.

    “Fine then, don't move. I can do it,” Dave said, stepping back further from the man's warm breath and angry face, only to dart to the side with his tray, making for the stairs again. Just needed to get up those and he'd at least be in sound range of a guard, needed to keep moving, he was almost to freedom and then this would be all over.

    He felt the foot connect with the front of his ankle solidly enough to leave a bruise, and grimaced as he wobbled, trying to lurch forward and catch the contents of the tray firmly enough that they'd not spill much from their containers. A hard stomp down caught his balance while the food and drink shifted wildly, but it didn't spill till the stable hand grabbed the back of his slim collar and yanked back. Feeling choked, Dave didn't bother trying to hold on tighter to the hope of keeping the tray stable and released the food as he reached up to grasp the front of his collar instead, sending the teapot falling to be smashed on the stone tile, flooding the ruined food and soaking their shoes in hot tea.

    Dave struggled, thrashing and trying to turtle his body forward to dislodge the grasp at his collar, grip tight and yanking forward to keep the pressure off his throat till the man released his grip and let him stumble forward. Cheap shots. Luridly cheap shots. He turned with a growl to face the two men who had managed to ruin what was originally going to be a good day, and let his stance slip into one more prepared to fight. Punishments be damned, Dave was not going to stand idly by and allow himself to be choked a second time by two chuckle heads in a fucking hallway. He wouldn't fight so much as defend himself, direct their force away enough to flee afterward if it came to it. Running alone, he felt, would not be wise.

    He wouldn't turn his back on these two again, if he had any choice about it.

    “What the fuck was THAT for!” Dave shouted. “I'm following orders same as you around here. Just because I'm wearing a damned collar doesn't mean the orders I'm following are any different than yours, and just because you're NOT wearing a collar doesn't mean you're any better than me. You're an absolute ass if your best hobby is heckling someone who can't defend themselves. I fear for your sweetheart, with as foul a mind and mouth as yours, and you'd do best to keep your damned hands to yourself!” he spat.

    That was apparently the magic words. Brows lifting and face going splotchy red with rage, the servant moved forward to shove Dave at the shoulders, the stable hand pushing from the other side to rebound him when he tried to catch his balance enough to shove back. Three men, two a shade under six feet tall and the third a little over five, were all struggling and shoving in the empty hallway, looking ready to exchange blows. Dave attempted to bite the stable hand's fingers when they reached for his collar again, earning a string of colorful curses, and the servant began to aim for Dave's cloak instead, wanting to use his size as an advantage to bag and lift the little wretch off his feet safely enough.

    “This is personal in a way you'd never understand while sitting pretty in the prince's pocket,” the man growled, trying to twist his grip for the best effect he could muster, nearly managing to get Dave off his feet before being interrupted.

    “What's all this about then?” came a sharp, authoritative voice from up the stairs. “I will not abide scrapping indoors, especially not with that one involved. All of you: step apart.,” it ordered. “I mean NOW,” it followed up, a sharp command in formal speech.

    With a click of his tongue, the stable hand backed off and to the side, crossing his arms and looking to the wall to avoid meeting eyes with anyone. The servant paled and glared at Dave before stepping away and stuffing his hands into his pockets, looking down at the ground. Still riled up and ready for a tussle, Dave turned towards the voice with readied fists and raised arms, pupils wide from the sudden spike of adrenaline.

    “Dersite. Heel,” Jake said, gesturing towards him and then to the floor as he continued to walk down the stairs, features drawn tight. “You two. Care to tell me what in the name of the sun is going on? It's far too cold and far too early for you all to be carrying on this way, and I know for a fact this one knows better than to scrap and tussle in our halls like some ill behaved dog. He's well trained, despite his appearance. Give me some answers I can believe.”

    At the command, Dave had dropped to all fours for a solid bow in one of the trails from the broken teapot, warm liquid seeping into his knees and face close to smashed shards of pottery, but holding the position. Jake could be trusted, he knew. This wasn't anything personal. If anything, this was important: he was being treated how people expected he'd be treated in public, and letting Dave respond accordingly. This wasn't special treatment to an observer, which was only making things better for him overall..

    “It's.. He was smart mouthing us,” the servant began, finally looking up as Jake came to a halt in front of them, standing beside Dave's prone form. He was dressed warmly as his siblings were, minimum two layers and a thick cloak in deep green clasped around his neck with the hood hanging down loose over his shoulders.

    “Yeah, we were going too slow on the stairs I guess and he started hollering at us and going crazy. Something about us trying to get him in trouble? Then he just want crazy, we had to hold him off to keep him from biting us,” added the stable hand.

    “Yeah! He went for our fingers!”

    Jake lifted a brow at their explanation and looked at the broken things all around the floor, before looking to Dave and nudging him gently with a foot to his narrow hip.

    “Dersite. Is this true? What were you doing out here before I arrived. I want to hear all of it,” Jake said, “and you know what will happen if I catch you lying to me, so you'd best be truthful.”

    “Fetching Master's breakfast, and the meal I'm allotted, as he wanted me fed while he ate,”Dave said without breaking position or looking up. It felt natural to be doing this, familiar, almost normal. After all that time practicing after capture, learning how to deal with commands to appease the trainers, suddenly getting new orders was a call back to what he'd been forcefully adapted to. A relief to a small, anxious part of his subconscious. “When I came for the stairs, these two began to talk at me, and then wouldn't move. I was tripped, and then they grabbed my collar. Everything broke. Then instead of letting me go to get a replacement or return to Master's quarters empty handed, they persisted. ...I was prepared to fight them to get away.”

    Jake watched Dave's back till he finished speaking, then looked to the men and crossed his arms.

    “He knows better than to lie to me, and thus far he's earned that trust and belief by being loyal to the crown. What's your comment to what he's told me?”

    “That he's a lying little rat trying to earn special favor with you just like the others,” the servant spat, only to straighten when Jake glared at him sharply.

    “That will be quite enough. You, report to Jade, tell her I sent you,” Jake said to the stable hand. “And you, to the laundress. I'm sure she'd love the extra assistance you'll be providing today. Look sharp now, boys, get moving, chop chop,” he added with a few sharp claps of his hands when they didn't move immediately, watching them go before slowly breathing out a sigh once he and Dave were alone again.

    It was like seeing something deflate, wilt inwardly, and Jake's rigid authoritarian edge gave way to something rumpled, tired, and soft at the edges.

    “You can get up now, Dave. Sorry about all that. Are you alright, you mentioned being choked,” he said, offering a hand down to help the small man to his feet, helping him dust away spare shards he'd encountered on the floor.

    “I'm alright, they didn't get me too bad, I reacted fast enough,” Dave said. “And.. it's fine. I understand. That's actually half of why they were after me, thinking I was getting all this special treatment and letting it go to my head. I've been having people talking behind me for some time now, this is just the first time they've.. done that.”

    Jake's lips pursed, and he hummed uncertainly. Well. That was an issue, wasn't it.. but how to even combat something like that sort of rumor or perception? Anything short of flogging the boy would be earning suspicion with a mindset like that, and even then it might not be believed. What a mess.

    “What were you doing here anyway?” Dave asked. “I haven't seen you anywhere in a while save for following along to family suppers every so often.”

    “I've still been busy. Or, well. Busy as one can be in the throes of winter squalor,” Jake chuckled. “Otherwise, I've been trying to make good use of my time and then accidentally spend a good deal of it daydreaming about spring thaw and taking my horse far out as I can to get some hunting in and some time to clear my head before Father comes home. Or even further. At the moment though, I was simply here for a snack since breakfast wasn't as filling as I'd hoped it would be.”

    Right. The king of Prospit would be returning to the castle soon enough, wouldn't he. Dave wasn't sure how well that would go thanks to how close he and John had become, but he would do his best to adjust, same as he would with anything else. What he COULD he really do?

    “Further, huh?” Dave asked as they began to walk. “How much further?”

    “To Skaia,” Jake admitted. “Or even to Derse's borders, where the skirmishes aren't at their thickest. Where it's quiet and the sky can't decide if it's night or day, and the land doesn't care which it is enough to sort which plants to favor. I'd like to go quite far, see just HOW far away I can go on my own with more horse, how long I can stay in one place on my own.”

    “It sounds like you just want out of Prospit,” Dave chuckled. “Careful, people will start thinking you're a sympathizer.”

    “Oh, let them. It's no mystery that I enjoy to travel, I enjoyed it much when I was younger, and now I'm of an age where a bit more freedom would be lovely if I were in any position to have it to myself,” Jake said. “I'd love to see the world. ...But between father, the war, and all the obligations I have to wade through here, I doubt I'll get much of a chance outside of books and my hunting trips.” He paused briefly, then grinned at Dave. “Would you mind telling me a bit of Derse? I'm sure you've regaled John with stories aplenty of your birthplace, but I've not gotten quite as much passed my way. It would do wonders for my temperament, I'm sure, to hear some tales directly from a Dersite instead of a translated book of second hand accounts.”

    Dave regaled him quietly with information as they made their way to the kitchen, telling of the dense trees and underbrush with the blooming night flowers and dark leaves, the many eyed beasts and monstrous pale creatures that stalked the lands and sea till they reached earshot of others. They both dropped the conversation then, Dave taking on the act of subservient pet at Jake's side while he complained about the interruption to John's delivery by such irresponsible, unprofessional louts, reported where the mess was with a request it be cleaned up as soon as possible, and asked for a replacement meal. He also asked for some sweets, and helped himself to the baked goods cabinet, keeping a few items in his hand but slipping a few onto Dave's tray as well, plenty for he and John to share later.

    The conversation picked up right where it had left off when they left the kitchens, Dave bearing his tray of foods and drink, and Jake nibbling a jam filled tart carefully to avoid spilling a single drop of the thick, gooey filling onto his hands. When some dribbled anyway, he licked the glob up without a second thought, nodding occasionally as Dave spoke. He told him of the caverns of silk worms, and how some of the glowed in the right lights, as did their delicate threads. Dave told of the heated waters in their steam filled caverns, the crystals big as a man, and the wonderful foods.

    Jake was quiet, attentive, listening closely to each word Dave told him, letting him go on at length with little more than reactions or a soft chuckle, a quiet 'Oh ho' now and then as something clicked and made sense with a memory of a book in the past.

    “There's all that, but my family's all a bunch of cards in their own right,” Dave said, bright eyed and excited from talking about such familiar things. “Roxy and Rose write a good deal, and Dirk, h-” he started, then fell quiet, a pressure in his chest making his words slow to a pained halt. There it was again, the sharp pang of homesickness, the nauseated feeling of leaving something behind.

    “..Dave, can you keep a secret,” Jake asked when the Dersite went quiet, glancing around to be sure nobody was about and lowering his voice to a soft murmur.

    “Of course,” Dave promised. “You can trust me to keep any secret. I'd gain nothing from telling a soul, and even then.. you've been good to me. I'd keep words to the grave for you.”

    “..Truth be told, I don't want to be in Prospit. Or at least not this section of it, the castle, the path of seasons my father follows,” Jake said softly. “There are things looming in my future that I do not wish to partake in, nor do I wish to foist them on my siblings.. so my wants are just that: wants, not haves. I would much rather be seeing the world than be chained to my father's shadow atop the throne, even if only for a while, and your stories of Derse have piqued my interest far more than any book has. I'd love to see it someday for myself, as well as I'd like to ensure somehow that you'll return there to live our your days on your home soil. Till that day, this is my promise: I will do my best to keep you safe from the shadows as well. Not just the favors for John or my own idle interests in your well being, but real, honest attempts at keeping you safe when I'm able. You light up John's world, and you shared that spark with me as well over time. ..I'd prefer to keep that spark bright. So, know there is another who will have things dealt with should bad luck appear in your doorway once more like those two bad tempered fellows. If it persists, we'll assign you a guard of your own till the members of our staff learn to behave themselves. Let them call it special treatment: there won't be much they can do about it in that position.”

    Dave slowed his walking a bit and eventually came to a halt in the hallway, Jake only pausing and turning to look at him when he realized he didn't hear the soft jingle from his collar keeping pace any longer. The man grinned the same charming smile as the rest of his family, overly large teeth and bright eyes crinkled at the edges, before he laughed merrily and came back the few paces to press his hand flat on Dave's upper back to urge him to get back to walking.

    “Sorry, just. ..That means a great deal to me, Si-. ..Jake.”

    “Come now, it's not that giant of a step forward. It's just a more dedicated version of what I'd already been happily doing for a while. If you're that awestruck, then perhaps I can use this time to ask you to tell me more stories and teach me more things about Derse later? I'd love to hear more about the different foods, perhaps some things about dances or music as well. Or legends. Different crafts. I'd ask for the language as well, but I suppose Karkat may be a better source for learning foreign tongues properly. You've no idea how long I've been stewing and debating asking you all of these questions since learning how agreeable you were!”

    “I'll tell you as much about Derse as you'd like to know,” Dave promised. “Or, at least as much as I can really say. Some things.. Some things are not for telling,” he said simply.

    “Oh, yes, of course. I don't mean to pry, I'm excited at the idea, and quite hopeful it will be as intriguing as the earlier sample I was given on what to look forward to. I'd be glad to trade whatever knowledge I can offer in exchange. Perhaps I can teach you a bit of archery if you're not already trained in it? We can explain it to any nosy ne'er do well's that you'd be learning to be of more use to me while on loan from John,” Jake chuckled.

    “You have a deal. ..Can I ask you to open his door, actually? It'd save me from having to kick it or balance this thing, and I've already lost one tray today,” Dave said when they had finished climbing the stairs to John's tower, not realizing Jake had fully intended to escort him the entire way after all, ensuring his safety every step of the way.

    “Of course. I do hope John's decent, though it'll be quite the riot if he's not,” Jake said with the winning grin again, giving the briefest of knocks before popping the door to John's chambers wide open, gesturing towards Dave warmly as he entered. “John, rise and shine, I've returned your little half. I hope you don't mind that we tarried for some time, I couldn't help but wring stories from him till he was half spent.”

    Dave glanced Jake's direction at the slight fib, noticing the thorough glossing over the altercation in the hallway instead of bringing it to the forefront. ..Maybe he did it on purpose, leaving Dave the opening to bring it up on his own? Or maybe he just didn't want to play hero as much as he said he would be doing, and wanted to assist from the sidelines quietly.

    Or maybe he just didn't want to get John into an angry, protective lather when the danger had already fully passed and been dealt with. His temper wasn't something Jake felt like dealing with right then, not after the excitement from earlier.

    John was cross legged on his bed with the blankets draped over his shoulders and his cloak closed to cover his front, the Skaian book resting alongside a book in Dersian and a book in Prospitian, as well as a few pieces of paper that they had been writing on before for translation efforts of different phrases to build up familiarity and a key of sorts. He beamed when Dave gave a playful bow and came over with the tray, handing it to John before using his empty hands to clamber up onto the bed as well more effectively.

    “Jake, pleasant surprise to see you. Are we going to be having a family meal today?”

    “Oh, no, I don't think so. Jane's getting a cold and Jade's tower is hissing and snapping from the ice so she's terribly on edge. Perhaps tomorrow or the next day for the dining room. I might pop over tomorrow for some company though, if you're willing,” Jake said with a nod, chuckling when John immediately said it would be fine. Much as he enjoyed his solitude with Dave, spending time with his family was important as well to John. Having his brother in his room for lunch or dinner would be a nice change of pace, some more safe interaction they could share without Dave needing to act and sound a certain way in case of prying eyes.

    “..Dave? What happened? Your knees are all wet,” John noticed once the Dersite had settled comfortably at his side and relaxed.. Then, he reached up with a frown to tug at the edge of Dave's cloak, touching around his collar with cautious fingertips. “You're bruising up here, what in the world were you doing? Are you alright?”

    “I'm fine, I'm fine,” Dave insisted, reaching up to slap gently at John's hands to halt his fussing before leaning to rest against his side comfortably. “I dropped the tray and had to get another one, it was a big annoying mess, then Jake turned up and brought me along up here. It was.. nice. We had a good talk.”

    Though John didn't look convinced, a dropped tray not translating to bruising, he didn't push the issue after a glance to Jake offered only an explanation of lifted brows and an amused smirk. If Dave didn't think it was important to mention, and Jake was all smiles and silence on the matter, then it wasn't something that John needed to pry apart any further. They were all adults, after all.

    “..Hm. A good talk, you say? Sounds excellent, what were you all up to?”

    “Regaling me with tales of Derse,” Jake said, taking a seat on the foot of the bed and leaning back on one hand to nibble the rest of his treats with his other. “Quite the lovely place, it seems. Books and scrolls do it no justice, according to Dave.”

    “It really does sound like some far flung dream, doesn't it. Hard to imagine properly, but the attempts are still lovely..”

    “If the war ever ends and I get to go home, I'll be certain to try showing you both the things I tell you of in person. Send you home with trinkets and finery that Prospit can't import from anywhere else in the world,” Dave said as he took up his plate and fork to eat, dipping his face down to make the space between food and mouth a shorter distance. “Words don't do well enough. Not for my home. It must be seen with the eyes to understand it.”

    “Would we even fit under your mountains and in your halls?” John teased, reaching for his tea to pour it and take a drink. “Everyone in Derse is fairly small like you, right?”

    “No! I mean. Yes, you would, but not everyone in Derse is my size. We're much smaller than you lot yes, but the tallest are about.. I'd say Jane's size or a bit more if they're purely from Derse, and a bit taller if there's some Skaian or Prospitian in their family line. I'm more like my sisters than my brother,” Dave said. “But that has nothing to do with anything of our halls. Our castle is just as grand as this, just.. mostly inside of a mountain.”

    “We'd stick out like sore thumbs, wouldn't we John,” Jake said sagely. “I wonder if that advantage would suit us against your wild beasts, however. A bit more bulk and ferocity versus fang and claw. Hammer and bow united against the creatures that have decimated friend and foe alike.”

    John knew that tone. Jake's mind was running wild again with the thoughts of adventure, of excitement, and he couldn't find it in him to tease him or get his thoughts back towards center of the topic. It wasn't that often lately that he saw Jake truly excited: it was a time to cherish and let him enjoy as well before his eventual future of the crown crushing down around his head.

    “You really would. And if you didn't, I know my brother would make you stick out even more on purpose to be an ass,” Dave snorted. “His sense of humor is very much in that line of thought. My sisters would probably adore you, if you act the same around women as you do around me.”

    “I've a soft spot for the ladies,” Jake said. “I'll be nothing short of a gentleman, should I ever get the honor of meeting them.”

    “..It's still strange to me. All these years of war, and you sound excited about meeting my family. Family who, for all intents and purposes, should want you dead,” Dave said.

    “Well.. I suppose it's because of you,” Jake admitted. “I still wish the war to end, and wish your king to lay down his crown so we can get back to peace, but I don't wish for his death. We've had enough bloodshed to last many lifetimes, and lost many good people because of this, not to mention the outright cost of keeping so many soldiers active for so long. It's foul.”

    “..He's never going to lay down his crown. You do know that, right? Dersites do not stop a game of chess until it's won, or they are forcefully overtaken, and he is the epitome of stubborn,” Dave said. “This war will not end until Prospit has been defeated, or Derse is torn to shreds.”

    The last word was very important to have in his family, and Dave wasn't certain just how well John or Jake understood that, especially without the context of the internal politics of the Dersian court to contend with.

    “If he wants a fight, a fight he will have,” Jake said. “..But I do wish for this to be resolved another way, if it's still going by the time I take the throne. Diplomacy and all that. I'm certain Skaia would deeply enjoy a break from the conflict we keep bleeding across its ground as well.”

    “Wishful thinking. If Dave says his brother is stubborn, and I know how stubborn Dave himself is, then that must be even more intense than we'd been led to believe. Even without the rumors of cannibalism and torture.”

    Dave stuck his tongue out at him.

    “I'm still a man eater, John, you're going to ruin my credibility.”

    “Man eater, yes, but not nearly in the way anyone would imagine,” John murmured, smirking in triumph when the tips of Dave's ears went red. Jake cleared his throat as if choking, fighting down a loud laugh around his food, and covered his mouth with his fist.

    “I believe that may be my cue to take my leave. I'll be seeing you later John,” Jake said as he got up. “Dave, it's been a pleasure speaking with you. Do take into consideration my offer of archery, it would be nice to see if you could handle a bow.”

    The pair waved as Jake saw himself out, and Dave trailed after him to slip the lock into place on the door before coming back to crash on the foot of the bed.

    “So! Books. You were working while I was gone?” Dave said, reaching out to accept tea John had poured in the second cup for him. “Did you get much done that I can backtrack with?”

    “Yes and no. I didn't handle much of the Dersian portion, it's difficult to write the letters properly, and I was too frustrated to attempt it much,” John admitted, showing the paper with his scrawling script attempt heavily crossed out beside a flowing Prospitian translation. “But I -was- able to sort out more of the story. ..It's strange, though.”

    “How is it strange?”

    “I can't tell what they're trying to accomplish with it. It's a Skaian couple talking about starting a home and tending crops, back before Skaia was fully founded,” John said. “At least I think it is? If I'm managing to read it right, I mean. Or they were using that as a euphemism. ..It's really a strange story though. Stars and moons and suns, dawn and dusk, but it's very firmly in Skaia instead of Prospit or Derse. There's loan words from both languages though Mentions of things aligned.”

    Dave sipped his drink and pored over the notes John took, asking questions now and then at a few words that he couldn't quite understand even if he could read them correctly sound-wise.

    “..They were in love, that's for sure. Was she really calling him treasure, or saying that she treasured him?”

    “I think she called him treasure. This word means golden in Prospitian, and this means precious. Precious gold. Treasure, right? Maybe.” John pointed out. “And he called her moonlight. Or. ..Does this mean moonlight in Dersian? I see 'night sun'.”

    “It means 'light of night sun' if you look at it from my angle. Moonlight,” Dave agreed. “So. Moonlight and Golden Treasure.”

    “..Mushy,” John chuckled. “I wonder if she had some link to Derse, if he was calling her moonlight. It's part of why I see you as my moon,” he crooned, guarding his cup when Dave stuck a foot out and bumped his shoulder with it, keeping the liquid from spilling.

    “It sounds precisely like Prospit and Derse. How romantic,” Dave chuckled. “I wonder if they'll tell how they met before they started their happy little home, I'd like to know more about them.”

    “Well, there's a lot of book to go still, we haven't really gotten very far,” John said. “It we keep at it, we'll probably find out. Do you want to do some writing practice again today?”

    “Ah, yes actually, I think I figured out how to hold the pen differently to manage those letters I keep having trouble with. I'm too used to holding it low..”

    “Yes, a lot of letters are much easier to write if you hold what you're writing with a little loosely, guide with the wrist instead,” John confirmed. “It should make a lot of difference.”

    “It's a date then,” Dave said. With his cup empty, it was easier to maneuver himself up against John's side, cuddling close and easy. It may be a little harder to write that way, but he didn't really care: after earlier, he needed a bit of time together close and secure with John to wind down.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    A day spent in close study had turned to an evening of gentle touches and warding away the incoming hammer of hail against the windows, which then gave way to a night of restless sleep. For the first time in a while, Dave was plagued by nightmares again, keeping him tossing and turning unless John held him close and stroked at his hair, and even then they woke him several times. He couldn't put a word to the night terrors when questioned on them, just that they were alarming and very much larger than life from the flickers that he could remember. A long night turned to a new day with John still exhausted from trying to stay awake guarding his lover from the ravages of his own mind, and Dave once more bearing the darker shadows beneath his bright eyes.

    With the storm raging outside once more, wet and cold enough that even Dave felt a bit of a shiver up his spine, and John exhausted and needing to sleep late, there was no way for him to get accompaniment to the kitchens today. Not from John, at least. ..It should be fine. Yesterday was a fluke, and those responsible had already been dealt with, they wouldn't be stupid enough to do the exact same thing a second time so soon. He just needed to get downstairs, get the breakfast tray, and return safely. More aware of the risks than ever, Dave knew he could do this, and was willing to turn and run now that he knew the tactics they were willing to use. Another smashed teapot was worth risking if it meant keeping prying hands away from his throat and keeping overly large opponents from getting the upper hand against him.

    Something felt off, though. It had to be the weather, damper and more fierce with the whipping of winds and the distant clunk of shutters coming loose and roofs being damaged. Glass was breaking outside, property being ruined by the hail and winds, but the stone of the castle was holding firm. Nature was flexing her might for all she was worth out there. That had to be why Dave felt so ill at ease.

    It had to be.

    After stoking the fire up once more, Dave pulled on his cloak and shoes, and went to pull John's blankets up around his body a bit higher to tuck him in, smoothing his thick hair back from his brow a few times in a petting motion before delicately pressing lips to his temple. Today would be hard on him, Dave knew, even with the layers he had on hand to make use of. Staying up so late trying to help with the nightmares had taken a definite toll of its own.

    The distant thundering and heavy hits of hail sounded like the tinkling of bells at certain parts of the empty halls, a strange symphony to go along with the soft tap of Dave's shoes and the gentle jingle from his collar as he headed down the stairs. It was other worldly, and despite the ill ease, beautiful in a way. He reached the kitchens with no difficulties, and found no problems from the limited staff that was hard at work within, the numbers lower than usual due to weather and the earlier hour. Dave made a mental note to try coming very early for breakfast in the future, to cut down on the number of people he would have to deal with listening to and interacting with. The head cook this day was a kinder disposition as well, offering Dave a halfhearted smile instead of a scowl, and shying away when he reached for things he already knew the locations of instead of snapping at him to keep his filthy hands to himself.

    Today's tea was a mint blend, peppermint, spearmint and lemongrass perfuming the air along with the fresh bread and melted butter on the tray. Thick, fluffy individual loaves were on offer alongside sausages and some sort of fried greens that had once been salted, and two small dishes of a honey sweetened oatmeal. Savory, warm, filling. The perfect thing for a day like this.

    Dave bowed thankfully to the cook when he took the platter, mood lifting during his safe trek back to the room. Things were going fine, as he'd hoped. No problems, no interruptions. The weather was beating the worst habits from strangers, and he was thankful enough that he wanted to dedicate some of his food to the powers that be for the favor that was being given. He made it all the way to the stairs once more before having to pause, hearing another sound that did not match the rain.

    Heavy, angry footfalls were what brought the servant from the day before into view, though this time he was alone. His hands were an angry red, raw from unfamiliar scrubbing no doubt, and his face was matching, a twisted, angry mask.

    “Surprised?” he asked. “I wanted to see if I could repay you for yesterday, getting me in trouble like that, you little snitch. Do you have any idea how long I was up scrubbing bed linen and towels and clothing, only to have to move straight on to my usual day right afterward? With barely any sleep between?”

    “I had to tell,” Dave said, grip tight on the tray, judging its weight, debating when to drop and run. “If my Master or any of his family demand I tell the truth, I tell the truth. All sorts of horrible things can happen if I lie.”

    “Yes, yes, had to be so prim and proper even when we already set up the perfect story. Who would have known you lied but us, telling the same damned story? Snitched to paint yourself in a better light, come out on top. Again. More special treatment, more favors. A personal escort from another prince after a slap on the wrist,” the servant said, arms crossing and stance shifting to rest more weight on one leg. “How did you manage that amount of favor so quickly? Do they share you at the same time, or just take turns making you scream?”

    “I've done nothing of the sort,” Dave said immediately. “And even if I had, what's it to you? I wouldn't have a choice either way, right? I'm to follow orders. I do as I'm told by my Master. If he says jump, I'm to jump and ask if he wants me to jump higher.”

    “Only from your master, or from anyone above you? If I were to give you an order, would you follow or fight? Would you go along with the story, or would you rat me out despite knowing what could be done? It would still be my word against yours without any witnesses, Dersite, and I don't see any escort this time to save you. ..And I've an ace up my sleeve this time, now that I know how high your favors reach.”

    “..Your word against mine for what?” Dave asked hesitantly. “Why are you so bent on bothering me? I'm not asking for any attention, it's being given to me for doing as I'm told, and you've no idea how harsh things are behind closed doors, or what I deal with in this country. You see special treatment, I see praise for doing as I'm forced to do.” It was nauseating to describe things that way, but at the same time.. how else was he to say it? What other way made the same amount of sense without letting slip how close he and John truly were, let alone how much his siblings were willing to protect and aide him? It would only give this man and the others who held a grudge more ammunition against him, more proof, more reasons to hate him aside from the obvious.

    “I said before that it's personal in a way you'll never understand, Dersite. It's because of you and your people that I've lost family, I've lost friends. And now here you are, a pampered pet warming laps and beds and eating fine foods from the hand of royalty instead of being run ragged as the people who work here to keep the nobility satisfied and the castle in its entirety running. Instead of being run as ragged as I am,” he spat. “I was punished yesterday, put even further into the gutter, and you went off with another royal to the safety of your Master's lap without a single question.”

    “You were both attacking me and I was defending myself, and I told the truth when ordered to! What else was I supposed to d-”

    “There's rumor you're friendly with the princesses as well,” the servant interrupted. “You sweet talked the Wolf, even! Someone who's fought tooth and nail against your country's forces, suddenly more than content to let one of the enemy wander around in her presence without a second glance! You might have some kind of good favor with them, but I'll always know what you are and what you're supposed to be. I understand why they kept you alive. But I will be damned if something like you is treated better than my kinsmen and I are treated in our own home territory.”

    “I can't control that, and I didn't sit and personally order the death of your loved ones, do you think nobody in my country has lost anyone to a Prospitian?” Dave said. “I'm already low as I can get without being dead, what do you want me to do? Apologize? Beg my Master to treat me worse? Get in trouble on purpose?”

    “Get in trouble on purpose? I can get you in trouble for real, quite easily if I wanted to. There's enough people of a similar mind that we could fabricate something.. and it would be your word against an entire staff of 'witnesses'. We could also bypass the princes and princesses since their judgment is skewed, and send word to the king directly,” he said, lips curling in a grin as he finally showed his hidden card, watching Dave's features closely for a reaction. “You've not won him over, and his mind is not clouded by your presence. We could land you on the executioner's block if you push back enough, even if you were kept alive for some important reason. A king can't abide a slave risking his family's lives.”

    Dave's blood ran cold. That. ..That was definitely a problem, and he wasn't sure how to fight back against that if it came up save for John and his family pleading his case for him to their father and hoping he didn't decide to make an example of Dave in the end. If the pleading even worked and saved him. What would the people angry at him even have claimed he did in the first place to elicit that much of an assured response? It was battling rumors all over again, but on a grander scale with potential life or death stakes. The rumor about him being a man eater had already spread like a wildfire in a short amount of time, as had the rumor about him sleeping his way to favor. Something else negative against him would go just as fast if so many disliked him now, especially with the promise of him being taken care of in the end if they all played their parts and told the same tale. The only ones who would speak positively about him would be the royalty themselves, Kanaya, and perhaps Karkat. The very people who they expected to have speaking nicely for him, and who they were prepared to discredit one way or another.

    “...Right. What do you want me to do then? I can't change anything, not by myself, and I don't want problems,” Dave reasoned. “If you just want someone to be mad at, I'm-”

    “Show me what you've been showing the nobility to turn their minds,” the servant said, uncrossing his arms. “What's charmed them so thoroughly that they're willing to spend time and energy on a fucking slave from Derse when we don't get the time of day. Do you know magic? Are you poisoning them with something? Invading their dreams while they sleep? If you're hiding something, now's your time to admit to it.”

    “I don't know what to tell you that I haven't already! There's no secret, there's no hidden tactic, I don't know magic, it's just me doing as I'm told like I'm supposed to,” Dave insisted. “I'm very sorry for those you've lost, I'm sorry I'm being treated well, and I'll. I don't know, try to avoid you as much as possible if that's what it takes. Avoid everyone. Put in good words and high praises, and not look you in the eyes. I just want to keep doing what I'm doing: do what I'm told, keep my head down, and keep surviving.”

    “You can't make it up to me by walking away, and you can't change the royal family's minds most likely, the spoiled brats. Not quickly as we want, at least. ...But maybe you can make it worth my while until we make headway. You could make it worth a lot of people's while, I'm sure,” the man said, taking a few steps forward. “Ensure more people might be interested in keeping you around after all.”

    Dave's eyes flickered down to the steam still pouring from the teapot, and then back up to the approaching servant. A drop wouldn't do, not for this. There were more useful things to do with hot tea.

    “And that is?”

    “Let us have a sample of what they prince is enjoying at night. It would be the perfect slap in his face to tarnish his little toy without him knowing, and we'd get a piece of the high life,” he said. “You doing this would be disobeying your Master and doing as WE say, giving us a bit of power over him. It would be worth a lot.”

    “And if I refuse? Because it's looking like that's what my answer will be, just to let you know. I'd gain little from disobeying my Master's wishes, and I've no interest in anyone sampling anything as far as I'm concerned.”

    “His wishes!” said the servant. “What wishes? That only he and his brother get a taste of you? Do they give you orders on who to sleep with and when, or do they just order you who to not bite between thrusts? Will the day come when the stallions in the stable get a turn at you, if their fancy were to sway that way? If you lose enough favor with them, would they toss you to us anyway? Following orders is SO important even when not being seen, isn't it. I don't care what your interests are. You don't get to have interests anymore, not here. Youre' in Prospit, Dersite. Let me show you just how much you have to learn under the sun,” the servant spat, agitated that he wasn't able to get under Dave's skin at all, wanting the upper hand back. He didn't look scared, didn't look intimidated.

    Looked too proud for someone so low.

    A reaching hand and the same alarmed feeling from before was all it took for Dave to lift the tray sharply and aim it forward with force, spilling the boiling hot liquid on the servant's torso and parts of his face, not caring that it burnt his own hands from the back splashing. The food went flying, as did the plates and forks, shattering on the ground for the second day in a row as Dave dropped everything and reared his fist back before following through with a solid punch to the man's face. He waited till the servant staggered to take off and up the stairs, needing to get to guards, to John's tower, back into earshot of help since there was no perfectly timed appearance of Jake or someone else he had favor with.

    It was too early. It was too stormy. It was too cold to warrant a crowd, and isolation had never been so terrifying before. Dave would give anything just to have a group of people muttering about him again off to the side and glaring his way. Anything but this.

    “You little rat, how dare you!” bellowed the man as he recovered from the burn, making a grab for Dave.

    It wasn't ever easy. It never was when an opponent was angry and bent on making a point, judgment clouded and dark. Dave felt the sting at his throat of his cloak being yanked on, the easiest thing on his body to be grabbed hold of, but this time he was ready. In trouble for fighting being damned, it was worth the risk to bloody his knuckles instead of seeing what would happen if he gave in, and Dave was quick to turn around and punch at whatever bit of his opponent he could reach to deter him from continuing the attack. He wasn't going to allow himself to be yanked around while flailing for freedom: he would keep up the attack while the lummox's hands were full. Another hit to the face did well, slowing the man a bit and making his balance sway on one of the stone steps when Dave's cloak came loose and off in his hands, giving the Dersite more openings to strike. Detering wouldn't be enough: the Prospitian needed to go down long enough for an escape to be had. A few steps were being gained at a time, but not enough to leave, even as they approached the top.

    Uneven ground of the stairs, awkward footing, and sheer differences in force and mass were making for a difficult struggle when the servant regained his focus and was able to start the fight with increased ferocity. Intimidation was not working, had failed, and bargaining was shot: it would be force, then. Blunt attempts at lifting Dave or shoving him back were met with bites and kicks, sharp elbows to the abdomen, and a sharp crack to the nose, desperation leaving Dave more vicious than he normally would be when he was earning bruises of his own, each back step or move apart being chased down and mirrored. A harsh slap from a wide palm stunned the Dersite for a moment, disoriented after his head whipped to the side and the eye on the right side stinging with rising watery tears in response.

    Dave felt the slim collar at his neck being tugged and he leaned frantically back while gripping the ring with white knuckled hands, tossing his shoulders this way and that to dislodge the servant's grip, wanting to knock him off balance hard enough to make him fall down the stairs and get off him long enough to make it the rest of the way to the tower and the safety of the patrol.

    It worked, but at a price.

    The servant's grip did not loosen when he misstepped and finally fell down the stairs, dragging Dave down with him in a sharp tumble that sent them both rolling, alternating who was taking the brunt of the fall on the sharp edged stone. The grip at his collar loosened after the first full painful rotation they shared locked together, and the beginning of the second sent Dave flying from the uninhibited inertia, skipping a few of the stairs instead of tumbling downward gradually and coming down with a solid crack halfway down the staircase, knocking the back of his head harshly. They both came to a stop at the very bottom, the servant disoriented and groaning, clutching at the arm he had tried to break his fall with, the limb no longer straight and familiar but limp and angular inside its sleeve. Dave lay still with his eyes open and half focused on the ceiling, watching the world spin, listening on his surroundings as the sights came in and out of focus.

    He was.. tired. Very tired. Everything hurt, his heart was going wild in his chest, but he was sleepy. What had he been doing..? ..Right. Right, the fight. Fighting.

    Quick footfalls were approaching with a familiar echo, but Dave couldn't look around to track where from, not wanting to lift his head, unsure if he was even able to. He was too busy being grateful he could feel his arms and legs, that he could wiggle his toes, too busy hearing his heart hammer in his ears in tempo with the increasingly throbbing ache in his skull. Everything was too loud, and the eventual shouting of a woman's voice was almost too much to bear. He wanted to beg them to shut up, to be quiet, to just let him lay still for a while to recover and rest, but didn't get the chance before Kanaya came into view above him.

    Wide, worried eyes looked down at him, and the pressure of warm cloth soon covered his body before she disappeared out of view and quiet returned save for the continued pained sounds of the servant nearby. Right.. Right, Kanaya had said she'd finished some things for he and John, she was going to come by. The warmth was probably what she'd proud with her. Dave didn't know how long had passed before she returned, bringing with her the sounds of more people, more men Dave couldn't look at, but the lack of knowing who was there didn't fill him with trepidation now.

    There was nothing to fear, Kanaya was there. Things were safe with Kanaya. He wasn't alone, he was loved and safe and warm on the ground now.

    Guards. They were guards, weren't they. He could see the glint of a weapon on one man's hip as he walked beside him on his right side, sharp details of a crisp uniform along his back and shoulders after he straightened up from bending down. They were helping the servant up to his feet, trying to support his arm when he screamed about it being jostled.

    So loud. Shut up.. Shut UP..

    “Dave?”

    Kanaya's voice. Where was Kanaya at? He didn't spot her immediately, and had to finally cautiously turn his head to the left a bit to see her fully, making a sick feeling rise in his stomach. Everything felt like it was spinning, but she was kneeling down and hesitantly touching his face, dabbing at something wet under his nose.

    “I fell,” Dave said. “I fell,” he repeated. “I'm okay. It's. It hurts, let me lay still for a minute,” he finished with a mumble. Maybe she'd let him sleep for a while.

    She leaned over him again, and the world went in and out of focus once more, enough for Dave to realize a problem. For a split second, he'd seen Kanaya clearly out of the corner of his left eye, and then the view had changed again. The ache was intensifying in his head, and between the bile rising in his throat and the icy feeling of sweat on his face, Dave's hand shook when he lifted it. He felt his eyes shudder as he tried to follow where his hand was going, unsteady and jerking around to ftrace the moving shape in its slow path side to side.

    He closed his left eye and continued to watch the jerky, unsteady movement pass by his nose till he opened both eyes again.

    He closed his right eye, and couldn't tell where his hand was at all anymore. The world failed to come into focus again while his right eye was closed, showing him nothing. Dave waited for it to pop back again, to reappear, to do something, anything. When the sight didn't come back fast enough, Dave took a sharp breath.

    John. Where was John. John needed to know. Where was he? Why wasn't he here? Would he know what happened?

    “...Kanaya,” Dave croaked, realizing she'd been talking to him, not picking up on any of the words in his single minded focus of following his own hand earlier. “Get John. Get John. Please. Get John, the left's gone.”

    “I'll get John,” she promised. “Don't sit up, don't move, just try to stay still. We're getting John for you. We're going to get you help, just. Stay still,” she told him, looking wild eyed, hands raised and cautious, unsure what to do if he suddenly fought or tried to get up, not certain where was safe to touch. “What do you mean the left's gone?”

    He couldn't explain. When the all over ache and the pain in his head turned to a sudden stabbing burning sensation and a distinct feeling of impending doom rose in the back of Dave's mind, he finally began to cry, tears wetting his cheeks. This was it, wasn't it. This was how he ended: at the bottom of a staircase hiccupping on his own tears, far, far from home with no idea where the one he loved was at.

    “I want my mother,” Dave croaked in Dersian before his eyes rolled back and sleep took him under with a dark, soothing touch of mercy.

[themockingcrows]

Actuality Flux- Ch. 4: Visiting Vanishment

From the Mixed Blessings Universe.

With Rose still deeply rattled from her horrifying visions, Maryam spends some time talking her down, and holding tight to the safety that love brought along with it. There's investigating to be done, people to check on and clues to find, but that needs to wait until the holder of her heart is satisfied and calm once more, safe to be on her own again. When the goddess checks in with Leijon, ominous warning and a vague vision of the future in hand, what Could go wrong may need to take a step back in the face of what new troubles present themselves.

This chapter is SFW

AO3 Mirror [X]

    Rose sighed and finally felt calm. True calm. Maryam's room always offered her respite, and in her lover's arms, it was an extra level of comfort as well. Rather than stay in her room once the boys left and be stuck looking at the table, feeling the vibrations of what she had seen in the air or in the back of her mind, Maryam had decided to take her away entirely to a space untouched by her viewings. While her own room was living bookshelves and growing plants, soft shadows and swaying light, this one was the smell of soft, green, new things and the subtle warmth that not even the sun could offer.

    Maryam's room was bright and comforting as a spring day, but the spaces were more separate than other rooms Rose had been in, or even her own gradiently organized habitat. One space was a lively garden, flowers in bright colors and climbing trails of baby's breath and aromatic herbs tucked away from the forever blooming perfume from the lilac bushes. The other, closed and comfortable and slightly dimmer, was a cocoon of solitude. Blankets abounded, books were piled in different neatly stacked shelves, cloth and fabrics were settled here and there, and so too was a constant sense of safety.

    No lingering darkness could trespass in such a clean, bright place. The only inch of darkness welcome was Rose herself, a fond joke considering she no longer leaked the dark oil that she had while at the end of her human life. Figurative habits took the place of the literal now.

    Though she had been set on her feet upon entering the grassy space, Rose took a moment or two to begin walking towards the bed, distracted by her surroundings as ever, so much to see and enjoy. Upon arrival she promptly dropped her arms to her sides and threw herself face first onto the welcoming blankets and the layers of soft bedding piled beneath them, heaving out a heavy sigh as the weight of the world fell from her shoulders. True, it would return soon enough.. but for now, there was safety and respite.

    Time to breathe.

    “Do you want anything to drink?” Maryam asked. When Rose grimaced at the idea, she grinned. “No, I meant a drink-drink. No more purposeful visions for you today, something to relax with.”

    “Are you offering something soothing, or something to knock me for several loops? Because the background noise visions I can ignore pretty well already, and I can have my hands slapped if I try to scry.”

    “Whichever would be most helpful for you right now,” Maryam said, coming to sit by Rose's side while she thought. When she took too long to make a decision as they sat in silence, the elder goddess tipped herself to lay across Rose's upper back, hugging her tight. “Or would I be the most helpful?”

    “You're already always the most helpful, you know that..”

    Maryam grinned and shifted her weight again to slip off Rose's back, tangling her up in her arms so Rose's side was pressed against her chest and slinging a leg over her thighs to fully cocoon her lover best she could without disrupting the blankets they lay atop. More freedom to pet at her and cuddle her neck and face at the same time this way, which was always a bonus.

    “You flatter me. But, really, now would probably be a good time to enjoy something soothing to take the edge off, and to help fill any gaps of worry. I can hold and comfort you, but I'm fairly sure we both know I need to go and see what's happening. I was in your visions, and the path I took makes sense.. I need to speak with Leijon about this. Jake as well. I don't want to leave you alone and upset in the interim of that however. I'd rather go and travel once you're happy as I can get you, so when I come back safely I'll be seeing the same smiling face that I always keep close in my heart.”

    “You're sappy,” Rose said with a grin. “You're also babying me, it feels like.”

    “It comes with the territory, Rose, I baby everyone to a degree. But it's not my intention right now, telling you all this,” Kanaya promised, squeezing her tight and kissing at the crook of her neck with soft, warm lips. “I want to leave and come back without causing you worry, or making you want to use your abilities to find me. No scrying for the day. Rest is what you need. No more anxious happenings.”

    “If something goes wrong, I'd rather know!” Rose started, only to be shooshed gently by cool fingertips pressing to her lips.

    “Rose, even if something were to 'go wrong', I would be able to handle it. Nothing in this world or whatever lies beyond it could keep me from coming back to you. I don't want you working yourself into tangles trying to poke and prod at a potential future trying to find where something would go wrong. I'm a goddess of beginnings, of birth, even if an end approached me, there would -always- be a new beginning following after. You've seen how many times John has died, right?” Maryam pointed out, moving her long fingers in a petting motion along to edges of Rose's face and cheeks, then down towards her collarbone. “If I die, I would simply come back. I'm not entirely certain WHERE I would come back as opposed to the precise spot my death occurred, but I'm capable of it as any other god or goddess and would come back to you soon as I was able. I've just got much less experience with my own rebirth than with all the others I guide.”

    “.. Right. Right, I keep forgetting that,” Rose murmured. “I still cling to a lot of values and beliefs from humanity, and death for us was extremely final. We had more hope for the life beyond this than what was here.”

    Maryam continued to move her hand down Rose's throat and along the front of her ribs, pausing to gently press against a breast as if appraising and appreciating the weight it held before continuing down along her stomach to gently rub in circles near her navel. Familiar, sweet touches that never failed to bring warmth to Rose's very core.

    “What sorts of beliefs were they? The hopes for this other world? I don't think I've ever actually asked.”

    “Well,” Rose said as she cuddled down and relaxed under the familiar hand, reaching down to lace their fingers and squeeze a bit. “It was meant to be better than our life, if we were good. We would reap the benefits of a virtuous life. For some it meant coming back to the world someday as a new baby for a new life, for others it meant staying forever in this perfect paradise, getting to meet and wander with all our gods and goddesses in our midst like mindful, wonderful parents. Others I think believed it would be more of a period of paradise and learning then moving on to nothingness or the rebirth again.”

    “Well, that sounds lovely, but I feel a bit bad for leading others on. None of us traipse about with the dead except Makara,” Maryam said, clasping at one of Rose's hands before moving their joined hands in a gently patterned jiggle, glad to feel Rose's muscles finally start to relax. “There's a sense of happiness when there's new life born, though. At least for me. You've felt the same brief sensation when someone worships you, right?”

    “The tingle? I like the tingle,” Rose said with a grin. “But it is very different than I thought it would be. All of it is. ..Maryam does it hurt to die like this?”

    “I'm not going to die,” she said firmly again, “but even if I did the pain is brief. I'd more be curious as to how I'd be reformed, sometimes we come out a bit different than we began, and I've not passed in quite some time.”

    “Different? How so?”

    “Well. Dirk died once and came back with long hair. He kept it tied back for ages before cutting it, it looked quite nice on him. He doesn't change much physically, but I know once in a while he'd leave certain battle scars and let others fade away, or fix his crooked nose till it was broken again,” she said. “Pyrope used to be much curvier in form, much shorter of limb as well for many cycles, but she said she was tired of being short and enjoyed being taller now. I've no doubt she'll go back to how she used to be, with how fickle she is. John tends to keep a similar appearance since he's so vain, but he changes his clothing any time he revives, calls it a fresh start. I'm fairly sure there's new piercings half the time too. I expect him to return with tattoos any time.”

    “Did you look different in the past, then? During different times alive?”

Maryam grinned at her.

    “I looked different as well, yes. I had the same symbols of my shrine marked upon my flesh, unwoven spirals and loops like fresh spring seedlings unfurling. I kept my hair long, as well. It was a time of beauty and freedom, that youth.. I changed to looking a bit older and less intense to blend in easier. I realized that while the new life enjoyed my bright appearances, sometimes those being blessed by the gift were a bit confused by me and didn't focus as much on the life as who had given it to them. A soft glow now and then and looking this way was easier to sooth with than when paired with busy lines back then I think. More.. maternal? Matronly. I don't know how best to describe it.”

    “Youth? It was that long ago?” Rose asked, surprised. Wow. John died as many times as he had clothes in his wardrobe, it sounded like, and here Maryam was going on about changing her appearance to be less striking because humans were more focused on her than the blessing they'd received. It made sense, but still didn't sit quite right with her for some reason. “If you ever reform, even without death, I'd love to see you wearing your lines. Humans can deal with you as you are, and if they're too foolish to focus.. well. That's their fault. Look how you want for yourself now. They're not huddled in the dark with sticks fighting shadows alone any longer, they'd love you however you appeared. We were taught to respect the changes of gods and goddesses, and welcome them. We'd know them by their feeling, not always their appearance. Gods in disguise and all that.”

    Maryam kicked up her usual steady glow even brighter, twinkling stars instead of soft moonbeams, and chuckled in amusement.

    “I'll be sure to show you them someday, pick out something I'd like and that I'm fairly sure you'd enjoy as well. I've got a feeling you're calmer now, yes?” Maryam asked, kissing the side of Rose's head when she sighed.

    “Yes, a good deal. I know if I dwell on the thought too long, if I let my mind weave back, it'll be just as bad as before. But for now, it's not as urgent feeling any longer.”

    “Will you be alright with me going to check in with Leijon now, then? Or should I remain till you fall asleep instead?” Maryam spoke softer now, not wanting to pull away just yet no matter the answer. Things had been so busy lately, just getting to hold Rose close like this was something precious to not be squandered away or taken for granted. The reason for the cuddle might have been something sad originally, but now it was a gift.

    “I'd prefer you to stay, but I already know you'll go eventually. ..Maybe since you saw as well, you'll be able to change the fate I saw. Perhaps what I saw was even incorrect, or could be avoided entirely if you leave at an earlier time.” Rose worried her lip for a moment before continuing. “Perhaps you'll see Megido, catch her in a good mood, get some information out of her about what she's been up to for so long.”

    “Ah yes, for I am the Megido whisperer.”

    Rose pinched Maryam's side till she laughed and slapped at her hand to make her stop.

    “I'm being serious you know. You have a way with people.”

    “Perhaps that is why I'm the one to go see Leijon then, instead of the others,” Maryam said, slowly beginning to get up from the tangle so she could rise to her feet and straighten her clothing out.          “Jake could likely speak to her about it, but without knowing these particular ins and outs, I don't think much success would be had as someone with my specialty. I do hope the beasts are not dead though, it would absolutely destroy her, they're like her children.”

    Rose remained on the bedding and shifted, rolling to her stomach and rising to her elbows, not feeling like getting out of bed yet. Perhaps she'd do her best to nap once Maryam went traveling.

    “If they are, I assume more can be born. They wouldn't all drop dead at once, right? You'd be able to help more safely arrive?”

    A look of worry crossed Maryam's features and she tightened her hands into fists for a flex before letting them hang loose at her sides again.

    “If they are to be born, I can help them arrive. But if there is nothing to birth more great beasts, there is nothing for me to help be born. They are not spawned out of thin air, Rose, they are created the same as any other creature that is born. I can urge some miracles occasionally, gift a birth that would not have happened.. but without something to give that birth, no beasts would arise in the forest again.”

    “No great beasts.. what a thought.”

    “A grim one that I hope is a true flaw to your vision. May some of the infants survive whatever future you held in your grasp, let their hope be strong enough to let them thrive.”

    Turning and bending, Maryam took a moment to take a proper kiss from Rose's lips, fitting herself into place and stroking the side of her uplifted jawline with the pads of her fingers before letting her bright glow fade down again. “Try to rest while I'm gone. If you wind up leaving, I'll try to catch up when I return. Perhaps we can go somewhere else, make a day of it, take in a nice view? There were some places you wanted to go with me eventually that you caught glimpses of, right? Like the grove on the mountain?”

    “The one with the ivy and the flowers that smell like plums, that's the one,” Rose said without missing a beat, lowering her upper body so she was resting her cheek against her folded forearms, wondering if she could lure in a nap by getting into a more prepared position. Troubled mind or not, the callback to her origins was hard to ignore.

    “You can tell me about it again when I get back, and if nothing else is prepared to set itself ablaze, we should be able to slip out and have a good evening together,” Maryam promised.

    “Shouldn't be any trouble with sudden fires, Dave is with John and Dirk, he should be plenty entertained enough to keep from being a destructive little gremlin.”

    “Some things never change,” Maryam sighed as she headed for the doorway, popping it open with a steady arm and turning for a final farewell before exiting to the darkness.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    “How long did she know,” Leijon asked, voice angry, tense.

    “Not long,” Maryam promised.

    “How. Long. Did. She. Know,” the goddess demanded, growing louder. “How long did she know this was happening, or going to happen? How long could I have had to prevent this from potentially happening?”

    “Leijon, she only saw this earlier this very day. Rose had no reason to look towards anything like this before now, or you'd have been told,” Maryam promised, frown touching her lips.

    “So what am I to believe? That she's seen so many things and never once spotted whatever tragedy is supposed to befall MY creatures, or that this is all supposed to start happening en mass soon?”

    Leijon had already been on edge when Maryam turned up, not enjoying sudden visitors at the temple aside from those devoted enough to her ways to come seeking the spaces out to give offerings, but allowances had been made. Maryam was one of the goddesses her own world was intrinsically in balance with, forever dancing in a circle of birth, life, and death.

    “Please. Really, there was no way to know this before now. Something may have changed to cause this to be a potential future, you need to remember that's how the sight works. Nothing is truly set in stone, what will be will be, but only if you take all the steps needed to get precisely to that point. We found out, and now you're being told. There were a great many troubling things she saw, not just things to do with you, if you recall.”

    “When will it happen, and how do I fix it. Were they just... dead? Laying there? Were they sick? Slain?” she asked, words becoming even more intense at the idea of someone purposefully taking down all of her beasts by the herd. “Will it spread to the human's beasts?”

    “It wasn't that clear or detailed, I'm sorry. Just that they were laying dead,” Maryam said softly. “All I know is what I saw, which may change at any time. We are just as confused as you are, but you already know if something was to be said about this to you, I'd say it. I dislike playing the same games we play with humans when it comes to working with each other,” Maryam promised.

    The view from the temple had changed over the years, improved in some ways and fallen further apart in others. As humans grew denser in population in the cities, the urge to return to their roots gave way to those who made pilgrimages to put in effort at beautifying Leijon's temple. There were usually some form of offerings around for her, new polished offering bowls and trays and platters, incense and cleaned down places to put smoked meats and dried vegetables and grains above repaired floors.

    Sometimes they left money, which was essentially worthless to her, but which Jake took with him back to the cities whenever he went around. Supposedly, he and John would find those who were down on their luck, hoping and praying for change, and give them a small windfall or arrange for them to locate the coins and strange looking bills on their own. He promised her that he tended to aim towards people who didn't feel destructive, or who tended properly to the animals in their care, and made sure there were leads back to her as a source to gain more followers or at least more direction in which to lead their second chance on life. Jake's judgment in these matters seemed more hit than miss, so Leijon was content.

    Rarely, humans would camp out in the temple and near its grounds for the evening, leaving with no complaints from the goddess nor her protege so long as they tended their circles of fire properly and took whatever rubbish they brought into her woods away with them when they finally left.

    It was soothing actually, that scent of old moss and fresh water and smoke this far in the quiet coolness of the woods. It spoke of age and time unchanging, memories of when she'd visit humans clustered around their fires, ready to fight the moon itself if it disappeared from the sky for too long. She wanted to sit down and relax, savor it, maybe even have a drink if she could get Leijon to lower her guard and relax again. Never took forever, if memory served Maryam right. Just needed patience.

    “Then I'm going to stay still and fend off whatever I can if it approaches, and try to fix what I can. I refuse to let these animals die. They're too precious to me, they're the guardians just as much as I am, and I am sick to the teeth of outside forces forcing change on me and mine,” Leijon said, stance taking on a more fluid saunter as she stalked the front of the temple, unable to just stand still any longer.

    Part of what was upsetting her so much right now was simple that until Maryam had appeared, nothing felt amiss. Nothing for now, at least. But when would it happen? Would it even happen at all? Was there still something that could be done..? Future sight was bullshit, and if she could blind the seer, Leijon was sure she would in a heartbeat. Not seeing something coming was normal, tragedy was tragedy yes, but normal. Seeing something coming swathed in Maybe and Perhaps and Nearly with little way to know for certain if it's a Definitely till the moment happens? Maddening.

    “If the giant beasts are well, are the animals the humans rely on for food well?”

    “Far as I know, yes. There's been no outcry to me, and nothing being put on offer to ward off signs of illness that I have heard. The same animals being fed and tended in larger numbers for a larger cluster of humans, nothing to report there.”

    “..Is there anything you want to do just in ca-”

    “Maryam, you're fussing. I need you to stop fussing, and let me do my job. You do yours, I do mine, we overlap and clasp hands as needed, but please. If there were sudden mass death of animals, or the forests were going vacant, I would feel it sure as I felt the ache of the encroaching civilization before they turned their sights elsewhere than the deep sanctuaries.”

    The tall goddess sighed, shaking her head slowly. She could feel a headache coming on.

    “I know I'm fussing, but I'm worried. You're so connected to your creatures, the fact that there was such an ominous thing that Rose saw.. I needed to come check in.”

    “It's not the old days, Maryam, save your sweet words for your little light. ..But thank you,” Leijon said. “I'll stick to myself here, and check in if needs be. Jake can handle the cities, there's no need for me to go anywhere right now. If there's a threat, the beasts need me more than any human could. They can take care of themselves in the beds they've made.”

    “..Well. I mean. It would be a little bit of an issue if their animals all died as well. It could potentially mean a lot of deaths, huge spreading disasters.”

    Leijon shrugged and gave Maryam a hard look.

    “More work for you and Jane, then, and a much better set of decades for me in exchange,” she said cooly, satisfied to see the slight bristle in Maryam's body language. They may get along well, they may work together, but it was always fun to just as easily turn that around and get under her skin. Keep her on her toes.

    Good. She was prettier when she was a little annoyed and that jade color in her eyes stood out even more against the growing intensity of her glow.

    They didn't get to edge further towards argument nor peace after that. A flurry of activity, darting ever closer, caught Leijon's attention and made her focus solely to the side. Who..? Oh. Jake. She'd know that jumpy teleportation style travel anywhere, but the accompanying feeling was one of alarm. Before she could call out to him to see what felt off, she was jumping and hissing at a sudden hand on her shoulder. Roxy jumping out of one of her dark voids without a whisper of sound in front of the temple, grip tight on the goddess's shoulder, expression grim, was not a sight Maryam had expected to see today during this visit.

    “You're still here, good! Good. We need you to be not-here,” she said hurriedly. “Well. I mean, not-here like not in this particular spot, not gone entirely. We don't need more of that.”

    “What are you going on about? I'm not going anywhere, I'm needed here,” Leijon insisted, swatting at Roxy's hand to make her step off. “Jake's coming this way, have him go wherever it is you're talking about, he can handle it I'm sure.”

    “I couldn't get him to stop rushin' but we're here for the same reason, he's going to want you to go as well.”

    “Where? I already said I'm not going anywhere.”

    Jake finally came close enough to switch to normal running, shouting as he came.

    “LEIJON! Leijon, come quick, please! Please, something's wrong! I need help!” he all but bellowed, slowing as he drew nearer, realizing Roxy was already there beside the goddess, and focusing on Maryam himself now. “Maryam you too, -please-, something terrible has happened,” he begged, leaning over his own knees to take in heavy gulps of air.

    “Shhh, shh, take a breath. Please, either of you can you be clear? What's happened?” Maryam asked, worried eyes looking around in hopes of getting a better sense of the situation from body language as much as words. Well. Rose hadn't spotted -this- happening... had something else changed? Maybe that had been a Maybe. Or perhaps out of order.. Sight was confusing when it was as aimless as a Seer's visions.

    “It's Janey,” Roxy said, finally releasing her grip on Leijon's shoulder, tugging her hand back when Leijon caught her with a sharp nail hard enough to sting the skin. “She's gone.” The words had a flat, upset stomach tone to them, and the usual dark lipped smile was twisted downward into a disconcerting grimace instead.

    “Got herself killed again? Been a while for her. She'll be back, just need to hunt her down. ..Odd, I didn't feel anything change,” the wild goddess said, stepping back a pace or two and warily eyeing Roxy. Too close for comfort, too much grabbing, not welcome, not wanted after the upsetting conversation with Maryam earlier and the apparent risk to her beasts. Jane hadn't been involved in their fate, at least according to what she'd been told to expect. Perhaps things were changing for the better now that things were changing, and they'd leave and she could remain to fight whatever threat was coming, if the vision was still to be believed. An immortal being misplaced was strange but surely not that horrendous, and almost certainly not a Her problem.

    “No, she ain't been killed she's.. she's gone,” Roxy said again.

    “Where's she gone?” Maryam asked, confused. “Was she meant to be doing something specific and you need her back, or..?”

    “Gone,” Jake said as he straightened back up, still breathing heavily. “Just.. She just up and vanished! We were talking, and she just froze for a moment and went wide eyed, opened her mouth and she.. she disappeared. Everything went silent and then there was this flash of light, I've never seen anything like it. It's like she was trying to talk but noise stopped working, or my ears broke, then it was like going blind for a second.”

    “Any idea what she was saying?” Maryam asked, going closer to Roxy herself now that a trail had potentially opened up. An unexpected trail, but hints and opportunity nonetheless, and the void would be much more accurate to go where they needed to in a rush.

    “No,” Jake said, shaken, worried. “No she just.. We were talking about food and the fact that it was almost time for children to go to the temples, and she was telling me about what the locals in that city do for the festival that goes with it now compared to the old ways, and new trends. The cakes and candies.” He was quiet for a moment, then seemed to remember something else. “She asked if I heard something, but I hadn't aside from her voice. Then the quiet and the light and Jane was gone. I need your help, I need to find her, something's wrong, something -feels- wrong,” he said worriedly.

    “I wasn't right by them when it happened, but I was pretty close nearby and saw the flash. It was huge! Like it came outta the sky, but then like it was comin' outta the ground. When I went to check it out, Jake was already frantic and sayin' he was gonna come get Leijon for help. So I guess you'd have an idea what to do or how to help? Maybe how to track her,” Roxy said, shifting her weight and glancing to her portal, making sure it stayed solid as a blank space in the air, all light disappearing into its matte surface. “There were scorch marks on the ground, though. Like lightnin' strike, but no fire damage. I'm pretty sure that was where she was standin', but Jake can show you the exact spot in case I'm wrong.”

    Leijon looked a bit alarmed as well now, but just as hesitant to let Roxy guide her to the void where despite it being a shorter journey, her senses would be all but useless till she came out the other side. A goddess disappearing was one thing, a goddess being.. struck down and disappearing into unknown light without a trace was more in line with Rose's visions of disappearance and blocked sight. Instead of choosing immediately, she shot a look to Maryam who nodded.

    “Let's go. Jake, show us where you two were when this happened, will you? Close as you can get. If we hurry, maybe we can find clues and figure out where she may have gone. Rose saw flashes of light, but not what happened after the dark spots appeared, and this wasn't foreseen at all from the peeks I could do in the bowl! We might be able to stop the others from happening.”

    It was a lie. Maryam knew deep in her gut that it had to be a lie, or at least a heavily weighted truth. From the look on Jake's face as he glanced her way, he knew the same thing from instinct alone, but it was he who grabbed Leijon by the shoulders and steered her towards Roxy's void portal.

    “Please, Leijon, I'll make it up to you later. I'll do whatever you need me to. But I need your help right now, Jane needs your help right now. The temple will be fine without you here for a little while, and I'll give it a thorough wash later if you want or bring you your favorite smoked fish offerings. Forgive me this one favor.”

    “You'll have your work cut out for ya,” Roxy warned. “I couldn't see anything, I tried lookin' once Jake took off this way, but there's not much left behind but the marks. Humans all cleared out shoutin' about gods being angry and storms in broad daylight. It's a mess.”

    Though still agitated, Leijon looked a little more placated. It was a tall order.. but she was fond of Jake, having spent so long with him, and if anyone was to hunt someone down, who better than a huntress? With Maryam flanking, Roxy widened the portal and stepped inside, closing the gap when the space behind them disappeared and the new location in the heart of the city opened in yawning greeting to the unknown several feet ahead.

    Hopefully, Maryam thought, it would open to more answers.