#she's cool and pretty and i think it's fun when she stabs ppl and yells at men

[pinkysberg]

revenge is a fool's game...except for when sadie adler does it

[nerdetiquette]

So I’m finally getting my friend to read Gideon the ninth, and she’s going in with mostly no knowledge. It was their idea to play a game and guess what characters are like from art I sent her and the characters names. She doesn’t know who’s a cavalier and who’s a necromancer.

art by @exmakina

Here’s the picture of the cast I sent and here are their thoughts:

She actually thought Judith and Marta were boys which is fair in all honesty bc I kept saying they looked like 12 year old boys in British uniforms for an American revolutionary war reenactment.

Judith:

Okay so Judith Deuteros, I feel like she's the 'older sister' who thinks she can do everything herself but she cant. A bit rude and super loyal until proven otherwise

Now for Marta, autocorrect decided to change Dyas to DYAS because I yelled about her being cool when I was reading htn. I have no shame, she’s definitely hot and definitely out of my league.

Marta:

Okay, misS DYAS 😂 is the one who can actually do everything on her own but lets people help her just because its less work. Direct but nice overall

[here is where I explained why it autocorrect to DYAS without saying it was because she was really cool]

Her: So a bit stupid too

Me: how dare you, I’m offend on her behalf

Her: Well emotionally stupid

Logically brilliant

Me: I am offended on her behalf

To explain Ianthe, I sent her the cast before and they said they thought Ianthe was pretty so I had been sending non spoiler fanart of Ianthe which is surprisingly hard. I get that bone arm Ianthe is hot, but like there’s so little of regular Ianthe.

Ianthe:

Okay, social bitch whos not afraid to stab you in the back and will do ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING to protect her twin

Very manipulative

Me, shocked at most of it being right: anything else?

Mmm likes things her way

Coronabeth:

I like her name

She's the quiet one, but still talks shit about ppl she doesn't like. She likes to look pretty but only for herself

Also would do anything for her twin

I feel like she could betray her in exceptional circumstances (my reaction to this was basically 👀 because of as yet unsent)

Naberius is funny because I haven’t told her a thing about him. So I’m going to let this part speak for itself.

Then I proceeded to tell her that I know only one person who liked Naberius and he’s objectively wrong. (he decided he would stop defending Naberius after I reminded him that babs threatened children)

Issac:

Little ginger boy who DESPISES being called short, but also super agile and good at his job (wtv it is)

I feel like he's crushing on a girl but idk who and he gets flustered way too easy, it kinda puts him in trouble, cause he cant lie

Jeannemary:

Ooo I like her name too

Shes basically Gabi from aot

Lemme tell y’all, this absolutely crushed me. If you like aot and you were watching it as it came out or just saw the memes, no one liked Gabi. I thought Gabi was fine but the idea of people hating Jeannemary made me very sad.

Abigail:

The type of girl who volunteers at retirement homes. She likes to read and be alone whenever she's not on the job. Barely talks to anyone, she prefers to listen to people

(She was proud of this one because I said nifty, this is like modern au Abigail minus her fun, funky parts. If I were describe Abigail, I would say unhinged academia and move on)

Magnus:

Absolute lady magnet, charming smile and flirty eyes. Crushes on Abigail but she's oblivious to love so he kinda just admires from afar. Only default is he lets his emotions control him, easy to manipulate

(She was very happy when I told her Abigail and Magnus were married)

Now much to my dismay, this heathen thinks glasses are sexy so she thinks Palamedes is hot which hurts the part of my soul that headcanons Pal as aroace, but putting that aside, I said please don’t ship these characters I will literally cry. This concerned her and I had tell her they were cousins.

Palamedes:

So Pal, real nerdy, super good with anything thats tech. But of a sarcastic brat, and gets along better with animals than humans

(This is almost entirely inaccurate but I’m not a heartless monster so they can have this for now.)

Camilla:

Good with math, can do decently in tech too because she observed her cousin work so often. She's a pro at detecting when ppl are lying and doesn't let their bullshit pass ever.

Now I was very excited for what they would say about Dulcinea/Cytherea and Pro mostly because I wanted to see if the guess leaned more towards the actual Dulcie and Pro or not.

Dulcinea:

Cutie 🥰

(Me: Gideon thought so too)

She's a master at deception though. She likes flowers and jewelry and will flirt with any man (or woman) to help her own cause. She doesn't do murder, but she can easily knock out a man. She just flirts to get what she wants

I was absolutely dumbfounded that she basically guessed Cytherea’s whole character, aside from the murder. I was just thinking god damn and I tried my best not to show it (this is very hard and I understand why my friend who got me into the series spoiled so much on accident). Also Cytherea is her favorite based on their current assumptions.

Protesilaus:

Stone cold warrior, scary but honestly isn't afraid to cry. Hes good at what he does, but he hates it. Fucking whipped for a lady he cant have. Biggest heart you can find

This was such a good guess for original Pro that I was just like how???

About the eighth house, I told her that no one likes the eight and I very much hate them so that’s where all of this comes from.

Silas:

Okay so cruel individual who has zero empathy, picks on innocent people for fun and is loyal to death

Colum:

Also known as Colon Shit is homophobic and kills for fun 🙃

Oh and a pathological liar

This is all so wrong that I was like Jesus does it take that much to hate someone, but I didn’t want to spoil anything by telling them just how wrong they were.

We went to Harrow who I told her is a top kin of mine. Her prediction for Harrow was so nice and I can’t even be mad at her for being this wrong.

Harrowhark:

Okay healer type of character who helps anyone she can, has a hard time dealing with her emotions so she just shuts them down

I was also very excited for her Gideon prediction as anyone I talk to about this book knows I am head over heels in love this Gideon. She is pure of heart and she is dumb of ass. She is my everything. The friend who got my into gtn has a count of whenever I text them “she’s so stupid 🥰” referring to Gideon because it’s only referring to Gideon and never anyone else.

Gideon:

Okay from what you told me, she's a raging lesbian who cant deal with how attractive women are but is also a badass warrior

I have said too much in the end.