#she's v picky ab men

[softerpixels]

doing nothing but working and practicing her craft has left ava with some major party withdrawals so she hit up the warehouse with her girls francesca and bria. it's not a night out if ava doesn't end up cuddled up with her longtime friend and dealer max, tho. she's... not that into him but he's very into her and this girl's gotta afford her vices somehow!

[dcsidcrium]

ABEL AND NIKKI

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!  | @bricxbrac

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - these two are so wrapped up in each other & so god damn sappy.  I don’t think either of them is going anywhere any time soon

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - A big ol’ slow burn.  Friends to ‘I don’t care as long as you’re in my life’ to ‘OH FUCK I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH YOU’

How was their first kiss? - Sweet and soft, like most of their kisses before things turned romantic were, but filled with something more than all the little pecks before.  It definitely lingered

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Abe, if there is a proposal.  Nikki doesn’t really care about getting married.

Who is the best man/men? -  Uh??? Can they make Nikki’s wolves wear little bowties bc she wants to have her wolves wear little bowties

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - DANI

Who did the most planning? - both?  I feel like both of them would be pretty active in it

Who stressed the most? - Probably Abe. 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 Nikki isn’t a real big fan of fancy| 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -  No one???  The only big no-no is Lucas, but he doesn’t really cross their minds much aside from when Nikki has a nightmare.

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch it up.  Nikki likes to ride.

Who is the one to instigate things? - My gut is to always say NIkki, but it’s probably a tie

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 it’s always more about the intimacy than the act itself with these two| 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 they’re just so soft with each other???? and Nikki’s normally pretty kinky lmao (see above) | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I get the feeling that these two stretch out the foreplay.  It’s slow and sensual and can last a while

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - they make sure they both get off, but they don’t keep track of the amount of orgasms

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 v soft beans | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - oof.  Probably none, maybe one.  Abe’s immortal, but still human.  It makes it hard for them to have one naturally.

How many children will they adopt? - honestly? they may not.  Nikki wouldn’t want to adopt and put a kid at risk of hunters or lucas and with her extended lifespan and his immortality?  I don’t think they’d want to watch their kid age and die before them.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - if they have a kid?  I feel like its a pretty even split.

Who is the stricter parent? - Nikki.  Both aren’t overly strict, Abe just caves first 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - ABE

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - both!

Who is the more loved parent? - oof.  this one is hard??  they would both be such loving, doting parents.  Abe might squeak ahead on this one though

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Abe

Who cried the most at graduation? - Abe 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Nikki, with a very firm “Don’t tell your father”

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Abe does, but Nikki tries to help!  She likes learning how to cook from him.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Abe.  I don’t feel like either of them are overly picky, but NIkki has eaten some rather...sketchy things in her life.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They go together!  Nikki tries to sneak junk food in the cart when she thinks he isn’t looking

How often do they bake desserts? - Abe.  Nikki picks up some cooking skills from Abe, but she still can’t bake well.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -  I’m not sure about Abe?  Nikki is, unsurprisingly, a carnivore. (She does LOVE fruit though)

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Abe!  And it’s the cutest fucking thing

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Neither?  Nikki likes quiet nights at home with him, and he’s a better cook anyway

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - NIKKI

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - both.  Nikki is surprisingly tidy.  Before him, her house looks lived in, but it’s never really cluttered or messy.  She also just...didn’t have much personal belongings.  

Who is really against chores? - Neither

Who cleans up after the pets? - Nikki.  Mostly from habit from before he was around.  Two wolves in the house means a lot of fur

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Abe?  if he stresses at all?  but I don’t really see either stressing

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - both

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Nikki.  She will use ALL of the hot water

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Nikki on her runs every morning

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - However Abel wants, probably something minimal.  Nikki just...doesn’t really care

What are their goals for the relationship? - To keep it healthy and keep the other happy.  They just want to be in each other’s lives

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Nikki, only because she’s been up for three days and needs the sleep.  She doesn’t like to sleep in late

Who plays the most pranks? - NIKKI OHMYGOD

[mlleedom]

O is for Orange

I was recently joking with a friend that I did not know when or where my next org@sm was going to come from she said, “Well you know there is an ab machine at the gym that gives me an org@sm every time I am on it!” … Me: “That is not exactly what I had in mind…” :) Said friend is a nutritionist and went on to say in a recent nutrition magazine there was an article on gym equipment that stimulates the muscles that induce an org@sm… good to know there is a plan B waiting out there amongst the treadmills! Perhaps the runners high now has some competition with the ab machine!

An org@sm workshop recently came to Philly and there I sat next to two of my sweaty friends in a room of over a hundred men and women… and one very broken air conditioner. It was the definition of misery…. I had just come from a massage and did the best I could before I arrived to wipe the excess oil from my skin but I was still lined with it and glistening like a duck.  Sitting there I watched the thermostat on the wall inch up from a steamy 87 when we entered the room to now 91! I kept looking down at a friend’s cardigan in my bag… I was supposed to return it to her that evening but I had fought my demons as long as I could.. I used it to wipe the sweat off my face, chest, and thighs… sexy right?

It was an org@sm workshop for crying out loud… the room being hot was a given! Anyhow a tall slender blond walked into the room and explained the power of sex and intimacy… people listened, asked questions and pondered attending her workshop that weekend in Manhattan where a trained professional would give your vagina very focused attention and bring you to org@sm all while educating you on the power of slow sex. None of us signed up for the workshop in Manhattan but the take away’s from this one were: Sex should be as easy to talk about as the what’s for dinner conversation. We should embrace the greatness of people’s lives and not be so willing to discuss death and illness which is the given… everyone dies, everyone gets sick but so few describe the beauty of the day. Many at the workshop commented, “It really made you think twice about who you are with.” If you are going to share your body, your joy, and pleasure with someone… it better be someone worth saying… oh …oh …oh …oh… which reminds me of the final takeaway of the workshop for men and women… the one o’clock position on a woman’s clitoris is supposed to be life-changing. My friend didn’t buy it… I said, “Well, I will talk to you in the morning and see if you feel any differently!” :)

If you are interested in more information on the Speaker here is a link to her Ted Talk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9QVq0EM6g4

Previously posted in 2013

Related Posts: Your Life Is Only As Exciting As Your Last Bra , That is so Un-American, Romance in Super Glue and a Promise of a New Cactus, The Great Debater, Ladies Are We Just Too Picky, Integrity

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[witches-and-weirdos]

A completely theoretical, hypothetical ship of Flippz and Abe, abe-the-flaying-devil?

Send in a ship (or more) and a category, and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight :V - warning for those who don’t know who Abe is: don’t judge please.

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - As long as Flippz doesn’t do something stupid. (Unless she gets pregnant. Then at least as long as the kid grows up.)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Flippz: I don’t know. Abe: Abe doesn’t love.

How was their first kiss? - Flippz wanted it after some ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and Abe thought why not. It wasn’t passionate though. Actually kind of cold.

Wedding: (Won’t happen)

Who proposed? -

Who is the best man/men? -

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -

Who did the most planning? -

Who stressed the most? 

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -

Sex:

Who is on top? - Abe

Who is the one to instigate things? - Abe (sometimes Flippz)

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends on how long Abe wants to last.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. [The bed actually broke once. Seriously.]

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: (Gods, please don’t let Abe be a parent!)

How many children will they have naturally? - 1

How many children will they adopt? - 0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Flippz

Who is the stricter parent? - Abe

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - What school? They will grow up in Abe’s base and get combat training from him and his men.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Flippz

Who is the more loved parent? - Flippz

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Abe (the teachers are his men)

Who cried the most at graduation? - Flippz

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Abe (both, actually)

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Flippz

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Flippz

Who does the grocery shopping? - Flippz

How often do they bake desserts? - Only when Flippz wants to bake dessert

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - MEAT

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Flippz

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Flippz

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - ABE (Actually, no. He only uses a campfire.)

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Who the room belongs to

Who is really against chores? - Neither

Who cleans up after the pets? - If by pets, you mean the beasts Abe and his men tames and trains for battle, then the trainers, naturally.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Flippz

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - What guests?

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Flippz

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Flippz

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Dog? Ah, the beast! Abe. (Flippz doesn’t dare get close to that... thing!)

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never. (Okay, sometimes Flippz actually does it.)

What are their goals for the relationship? - For Flippz: To have someone who doesn’t mind her travels. For Abe: Only the fulfilling of his sexual desires. (Sorry, he’s a monster, I know.)

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Flippz

Who plays the most pranks? - Flippz

[keeper-not-hero-blog]

Tristmo

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Honestly? ‘Till death. 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Again, first sight.. of Trist headbutting someone.

How was their first kiss? - Slow, passionate, caring... followed by sex. :V

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Teemo!

Who is the best man/men? - I wanna say Abe.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -Poppy, duh!

Who did the most planning? - Teemo.

Who stressed the most? Teemo trying to make everthing perfect for the both of them.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No one. Let all of Bandle come!Sex:

Who is on top? - Teemo. Sometimes Trist.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Trist 10000%.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Couple hours to days, depends on how horny Trist or Teemo are.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yis. :>

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One! Because it’s hard for yordles to have kids. 

How many children will they adopt? - Trist WOULD adopt an army of babies... but Teemo didn’t let her.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Teemo.

Who is the stricter parent? - Teemo.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Teemo. “TRISTANA DO NOT TEACH THEM HOW TO USE GRENADES THEY’RE LIKE SIX!!!”

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Teemo.

Who is the more loved parent? - Trist!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings - Teemo.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Trist.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Teemo. Legally, at least.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Teemo.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither. They just eat. :V

Who does the grocery shopping? - Trist.

How often do they bake desserts? - Sometimes. Teemo really enjoys cupcakes.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Teemo prefers salads, Trist loves meat so.. middle ground?

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Teemo.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Trist!

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Trist. She’s not exactly great at cooking.. and I bet the fire would be pretty.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Teemo.

Who is really against chores? - Trist.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Teemo.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Trist.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Teemo.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Trist... and she bought both of them candy with it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Teemo.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Trist.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Sometimes.

What are their goals for the relationship? - They’re in love! They don’t need a goal. Well maybe have babies? I dunno.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both.

Who plays the most pranks? - Teemo actually. He’s good at it. Better than Trist.