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felicitysmoaksx · 1 year

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Hi everyone! I'm so glad everyone seems to be enjoying this fic as much as I have loved writing it!! Thanks so much for the comments and kudos!!

So if you've read any of my other works, you probably know I like to play fast and loose with the timelines of One Chicago! But in case you're a little confused, this fic is primarily set in the last episode of Season 3 PD and an au-ish Season 4 of Med (Only Ava is not crazy obsessed with Connor because I think that was a huge discredit to her character and Robert Haywood hasn't happened yet.)

On that note, my song recs for this chapter are All I know So Far by Pink which is what inspired Sarah's promise (You'll know it when you see it), and Paris by Taylor Swift.

Happy Reading!

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)

Summary: Blue eyes flicked down to his lover asleep once more. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. There was not a doubt in his mind that he knew Sarah. At least where it counted. He knew what kind of person she was. He knew her heart. But he didn’t know the stories of what made her heart the way that he knew it.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Sexual Content, Depictions of parental abandonment, vague depictions (at the moment but will go into more detail in later chapters) of violence.

Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?

Hold On, I Still Want You Ch. 2

“Something you want to talk about?” Hank questioned later that night as he leaned against his kitchen counter with a beer in his hand.

“Did Erin talk to you too?” The curly brunette asked and he shook his head.

“Then what makes you say that?” Sarah asked as she continued to stir the ingredients in the ceramic bowl. Her pseudo-father shrugged before he took a swig of his drink. “A few things. The fact that something is going on because you asked if Erin talked to me. You were quiet throughout dinner-”

“I have a lot on my mind.” She cut him off as she turned and reached above the fridge where she knew Hank hid the good chocolate chips for her. The older man hummed.

“-you didn’t really eat your fried eggplant and we’re about to have cake, but you’re in here making cookie dough. You only do that when you’re having guy troubles.”

Sarah stopped stirring in the chocolate chips abruptly and looked down at her sweet treat.

“You sure you don’t want to talk?” Hank asked in that gravelly voice of his. Though neither party knew it, Hank Voight always seemed to take on a softer tone of voice when he spoke to the woman he considered to be his youngest daughter. Slowly, Sarah shook her head avoiding his eyes.

“Anyone, you want me to arrest?” He asked and Sarah saw through what he was trying to do. She gave him a small smile but it was half-hearted at best, for his attempt to try to make her feel better.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just bad luck is all,” the brunette kept it just vague enough, careful not to give away too much information. And it was true. It was bad luck that Connor was getting back together with Robin. Her bad luck, but Hank didn’t need to know that.

“Mhm,” he made the non-committal noise before asking, “You know what the scariest part of having kids is? You always worry about them. Even when they’re grown and moved out. Even the ones you feel like you never have to worry about. It’s like having four different hearts walking around outside of you and you want to protect them from the world.”

“Four? How’d you get four?”

“Erin, Justin, Teddy, and you.”

But Sarah shook her head as if she was shaking away his words, “I’m not your kid though. Not really.”

“Kid,” her pseudo-father pinned her with a look, “You’ve been my kid since you I brought you three home for dinner that first time when you were eight. But Camille and I just didn’t know it then.”

Not knowing what to say, how to refute his statement Sarah just looked back down at her cookie dough.

“Sarah,”

She looked back up at the man she had met at the age of eight. The man who not only showed up to take her to the hospital but also held her hand when she had to get fifteen stitches at the age of nine because her own father had been too strung out to even notice she was hurt, to begin with.

The man who had taken her in and raised her since she was eleven. The same man that taught her how to drive, but still tried to make sure to drive her to and from work in the winter months, even though she was grown because he knew how anxious she got with driving in general but especially the Chicago snow and ice. (And if he wasn’t able to drive her, he made sure she had a ride)

The man who told her, when she admitted why she wasn’t going to college, after she graduated two years early, even though she wanted to because she didn’t think her financial aid, and whatever scholarships she could get plus her part-time job at the library would be enough to cover tuition and she couldn’t take out any loans at sixteen because she wasn’t a legal adult yet. (And she wasn’t about to ask Erin, who at the time, still had two years left at the police academy.) That he would cover it-whatever financial aid and scholarships didn’t.

“Don’t put the money you’re making with it though. Keep that money for yourself. Everyone deserves a little pocket money.” He had said and to this day, Sarah still didn’t know that he and Camille took out a second mortgage to help her.

The man who answered the door at five in the morning, after the disaster of her first graveyard shift in her first year of residency. Who hugged her tightly and didn’t say a word after she said she just needed to come home for the day, after her shift. She just needed to feel that security again, like nothing bad was ever going to happen to her as long as Hank was around.

He pinned her with a steady look, the same look calmed her when she thought she had been arrested and was going to juvie. (She hadn’t been. It had just been a ruse to fool Charlie and get her and Erin out of that house and situation)

“You know I’m here if you ever need me,” she smiled softly at him, at his statement. Making her around the kitchen counter she wrapped an arm around his neck in a half-hug.

“Till the world blows up?” The brunette asked. He nodded, looking as solemn as he did the day he made the promise she was asking about. Erin got the promise of I’m with you till the all wheels come off and stop turning on this car. Her promise was Hank was here with her till the world blows up.

“Till the world blows up.” The older man echoed.

“Grandpa. Aunt Sarah,” Olive called, and they both turned to see her standing in the doorway with Baby Danny in her arms, “Danny says it’s time for cake.”

Sarah broke away from the embrace first, walking the short distance to where Olive stood; she took the baby and hugged him. In a baby voice, she asked, “Is it time for birthday cake, little monster?”

The small child giggled, pressing his face into her shoulder when she tickled him lightly on the arm. So she continued as she carried him back to the dining room, “Then let’s go get this little monster some birthday cake.”

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“Sorry I’m late,” Connor said, pressing a kiss to his sister’s cheek in apology and then offering a sheepish smile to Robin and her new husband whom he had only met the day before yesterday. “Surgery ran late because of a complication on a heart valve.”

And his mind had been in other places since Sarah had all but run away from him after her shift was over. He thought as he took his seat, picking up a menu. He could feel his sister’s eyes on him.

“What?” He asked, looking over at her with his eyebrows raised.

“You’re by yourself. I thought you said you were bringing the girl you’ve been seeing. That I would finally get to meet her?” Claire pestered him, reminding him of when they were kids and she’d tried to be nosy about his love life. Smirking slightly, Connor shook his head.

Some things never changed.

“I was. But Sarah had a family thing tonight.” Though he was questioning if that was even really true, after what happened today.

“Sarah? As in Sarah Reese? Dr. Reese from the hospital? That’s the girl you’ve been seeing?” Robin asked with a grin and when he nodded his head a little guilty, her grin broadened slowly. “Wow, I did not see that coming. You know I ran into her in the cafeteria during lunch today too.”

Connor shrugged while he gave a slight chuckle, “Trust me, I didn’t see it coming either and I was there when it happened. But Sarah really surprised me.”

“I know that name. Why do I know that name?” Robin’s husband, Marcus asked and his wife explained, “Sarah Reese is one of my father’s residents and was the doctor that treated me when I had the tumor before we knew what we were dealing with.”

Then she turned to Connor, a teasing grin on her lips.

“You thought bringing your new girlfriend to dinner with your old girlfriend was a good idea? You’re a brave man Connor Rhodes.” She asked jokingly, and oh. Connor hadn’t realized how the dinner invitation must’ve sounded to his lover until now. Now her reaction at the hospital was making a little bit more sense to him.

“I don’t know babe,” The other man laughed. He didn’t sound jealous or petty, how most guys probably would’ve been in his situation. Instead, he sounded amused as he said, “Probably as good as inviting your new husband out to dinner with your ex-boyfriend and his sister.”

“Touché,” she mumbled with heat rising to her cheeks.

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“So you were in town last month, huh?” Sarah heard Hank from her spot in the kitchen. She was by the sink, finishing up the dishes and cleaning the rest of the kitchen while Olive and Erin put Danny down for the night upstairs.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I only had half a day or else I would’ve reached out. I had to help a friend.” She heard her best friend answer. There was a slight pause of stillness, but even from in the kitchen; she could hear the volumes in Hank’s silence. She had spent many times in that weighted silence when she had gotten in trouble as a kid. Someone clicked their tongue.

Her phone buzzed. (Connor again) But the brunette ignored it in favor of listening in on the conversation. Justin said, “Pop…Don’t. Just don’t. Please.”

“So who’s this friend?” Hank questioned and Sarah shook her head. She could understand why, given Justin’s knack for finding trouble when he was younger. But this was why her pseudo-brother always had his hackles slightly raised. Hank was talking to his son like a cop and not like a father.

“Come on, Pop. It’s my son’s birthday. I really don’t feel like being interrogated, okay?” There was a pause and now the Voight men were standing. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the side of Hank’s face and the outline of Justin’s back.

“And besides, none of us are kids anymore. You have four adult children now and it’s time you let us handle our business.”

“Is this still about you? Or are you talking about Sarah as well?” Hank asked and Sarah felt herself stiffen as he continued, “Because I know Erin’s good right now. She’s back on track, after her slip with Bunny a few months ago. And Sargent Benson of SVU in New York is keeping me informed about Teddy.”

“I heard you talking in the kitchen. Look, I know you’re curious about what’s going on with her. I get it okay, she’s the baby of the family. But you’ve got to let her figure this out on her own. I can promise you it’s nothing bad. She’ll come to you when she’s ready. Remember she’s the one you never had to worry about for a reason.”

“I always worry. Hazards of being a father. Especially with your adult kids. You’ll learn when Danny’s older.” Hank said in a tone that was a mask of lightness but really was filled with frustration. A phone beeped and she heard her pseudo-father sigh a moment later.

“I gotta go. Caught a case,” She heard him tell Justin before he called out to Erin that they had to go. Sarah waited until she heard the door click shut and then she made her way out to the living room.

She leaned against the archway that opened up the space between the kitchen and the living room. “Had to help a friend out?”

“Not you too,” Justin turned to face her with a sigh on his lips, “You always did choose the worst times to be the annoying little sister.”

“I’m just trying to figure out if I know this friend,” Sarah said lightly as she folded her arms. That was the wrong thing to say as her best friend’s face grew dark.

“Did Dad also ask you to ask that?” He snapped.

The brunette blinked as she took an unconscious step back. “No, why are you asking that?”

“So you want me to think that the timing of your question and my Dad’s interrogation just now is just a coincidence?” Justin also folded his arms, rolling his eyes at her. Sarah frowned, taking another step back. She wasn’t used to this Justin. Usually, her pseudo-brother was so patient and kind with her, even when they were kids.

Hank and Camille were actually worried about how Justin would take it, no longer being an only child when he had been for thirteen years. From day one though, he welcomed her into their family and called her his sister to everyone that would listen. (He did the same with Erin. But Erin was older. Sarah seemed closer to his age being younger, despite having the same two-year age gap between him and Erin)

“I-I wasn’t trying to spy…I just... It was just a question to see if I knew the friend.” Sarah started to explain before she realized what she was doing and how ridiculous it sounded. Yes, Hank asked her to talk to Justin. But like all the other times her pseudo-father asked her to her best friend; that didn’t mean that she was going to tell him what was going on. Beyond of course: Yes there’s something going on and you need to talk to him about it.

“You don’t and you need to drop it. I defended your privacy to my dad just a few minutes ago with your fuck buddy. So do me the same and stop trying to be Dad’s spy for once and let me handle my own shit.” Justin shut down her prying hard as he shook his head, his tone was cold.

“Okay, I heard you. I’m sorry I asked.” She shook her head as she turned away from him and gathered her stuff from where she had set it down earlier, “The kitchen is clean, so you and Olive shouldn’t have to do anything else.”

“Where are you going?”

She ignored his question as she pushed past him to get to the door and instead told him: “Just so you know, I was never a spy for Hank. You just always had a bad poker face so he knew when you got into trouble.”

“Then how else did he know that I was in town last month? Because I didn’t tell Erin and I only talked to you that day.”

“You said you went and saw Henry too. From the social club. Hank’s social club. Did you really think your Dad’s friends wouldn’t tell him that you dropped by?”

Justin deflated at her question. It was like his anger was a balloon and all the air had been let out. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sorry Sarah. But you know how much I hate when he assumes the worst…Now answer me. Where are you going? I thought you said you were staying in your old bedroom tonight.”

“Home to my apartment and letting you handle your own shit for once since you seem to think I’m a spy for your dad.” She tossed his words back at him in a steely voice. His anger may have deflated, but hers certainly hadn’t.

“Sarah, I said I’m sorry. Okay? Besides it’s late and-”

She shot her best friend down with a glare. “I want to go home, Justin.”

“Okay, fine…But you’re not taking the bus, train, or subway this late, I'll drive you.” He told her, moving to grab his keys.

“No, you told me to let you handle your own shit. So let me handle mine. I’m more than capable of getting home by myself.” With those parting words, Sarah opened the front door and slammed it shut, making her way to the bus stop on the next block over.

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“Hey Sarah, it’s me. About this afternoon. I think we got our wires crossed about what this dinner was supposed to be. But I want to have this conversation face-to-face instead of with your voicemail or over the phone. So call me back?” Connor ended the call and continued walking Claire to her car.

“Trouble in paradise already? What? Do you have a six-month expiration date for relationships I don’t know about?” His little sister teased, “Because you and Robin only lasted six months before she moved to Minneapolis and I never even met Sam. But you two only lasted six months too.”

It was meant as a joke and Connor knew that, but he still couldn’t get the way Sarah had run out of the doctor’s lounge this afternoon. He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair.

“I think she didn’t show up just because she had a family thing. I think she thought Robin and I were getting back together because I didn’t mention her husband. I just mentioned you and her.”

“And you invited her to what? Gloat? Ask to be in a throple?”

Connor felt his eyebrows raise, “How do you know what a throple is? Wait, please don’t answer that.”

His sister laughed softly, grabbing at her brother’s arm as she made her way down a set of steps in heels. “But seriously, what would you gain from inviting your current girlfriend to watch you get back together with your ex-girlfriend? You’re not cruel as a rule Connor.”

“I don’t think her past relationships have been all that good to her. Things I consider to be the bare minimum in a relationship. Like this, you walking on the inside of me down a busy sidewalk or street, she seems so genuinely surprised by.” Connor explained, rubbing the back of his neck, “…and there’s the small fact that I’ve never actually asked her to be in a relationship with me.”

“Connor! I thought you said you had been dating this woman for the last six months!” His little sister admonished him while she turned to look at him with wide eyes.

“I have been. It’s just without a label but is that really such a big deal?” He asked. Claire scoffed, shaking her head, “I don’t know. Is her answer to ‘do you have a boyfriend’ being no such a big deal when you've been seeing her for the last six months? Because technically, without a label on it or you both agreeing to be exclusive, you both are still single.”

Jealousy flared in his stomach leaving him feeling hot even in the crisp autumn air at the thought of some random guy hitting on Sarah. Hell, he had a problem when he caught the lab tech she used to date, letting his eyes linger a little too long on her. Though Sarah reassured him that her relationship with Joey was history and he believed her; that didn’t mean the other man could just stare at Sarah like she was a piece of meat. (Only he was allowed to do that. With his lover’s permission of course.)

His sister glanced up at him and nodded at his silence. “Exactly. You know, why don’t you just go to her apartment? Go to her instead of waiting for her to come to you.”

Connor winced, “That’d be a good idea…only I wouldn’t know which apartment is hers. I only know the building.”

And he only knew that because Sarah’s car had decided to have a blown-out tire one morning last month, and it had been too late for her to catch the bus, after getting the vehicle to the tow shop. So she called him for help.

“Connor Jameson Rhodes!” Claire scolded him and he winced at the use of his full name.

“In my defense-”

“There’s a defense for half-assing your relationship with this woman you claim to like and care for?”

“I’ve been scared, okay?” He finally snapped at his sister before he released a sigh and continued in a quieter voice, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not an excuse I know. At least not a great one. But after my relationship with Robin crashed and burned, I was scared because as you pointed out, my past relationships tend to have an expiration date of six months. So I’ve been trying to keep Sarah at arm's length because I was scared to give it my all because look how well that worked out last time. And when that didn’t work, I tried to keep her all to myself. You can’t let the world ruin something, if it doesn’t even know it exists in the first place.”

“But?”

“I was bringing her to meet you, wasn't I?” Connor deadpanned, “I was trying to move our relationship forward. But as you can tell it blew up in my face.”

“You need to talk to her.” His sister told him as they reached her car.

He nodded, opening the door for her. “I know. If she doesn’t call me back, I’ll tell her at the hospital when I see her next.”

Claire pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Try to not screw this up, Connor. As much as I like Robin, I’ve never seen you this happy before and I think it might be because of Sarah.”

Connor nodded as she got in the car. He shut the door. Then watched as she drove off before turning and making his way to his SUV with a sigh. His sister was right. He had been half-assing his relationship with Sarah. He was such an asshole and an idiot to think that keeping her at arms length or all to himself would work.

#Rheese #One Chicago #Chicago PD #Chicago Med #Sarah Reese #Connor Rhodes #Erin Lindsay #Hank Voight #Justin Voight #Voight Family Values #My writing

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