#shes had it for like two years now. still hasnt read it. im gonna steal it back from her i stg

[zontiky]

au where the apocalypse was never a threat or a concept to begin with

*cracks knuckles* now i could make this a decent upbringing au OR i could make it EXTREMELY COMPLICATED and you know me you know exactly what im about to do ;)

reginald THINKS he’s prepping them all for the apocalypse but reginald is a child-abusing FOOL and an alien BASTARD and there’s no apocalypse there never was there never will be. the world is safe and sound but the hargreeves children aren’t.

five runs away from home and gets thrown into april 1st, 2019. the world is thriving. he did it. he tries to get home but he can’t because he’s stuck and im now realizing that everyone reading this post has seen a million fics with this exact concept but FUCK YOU THIS IS MY CITY NOWWW

so he’s stuck in 2019 and he’s like ah fuck ah SHIT what now! and goes to the academy and it’s not like he was super far away from it in the first place. he didn’t even make it a mile away it’s like a 5 minute walk back home lmao

now because reggie thinks there IS an apocalypse he still killed himself and i hate him a lot so cough ahem anyway

five shows up on the mansion and expects dad to be sitting there in his office, doing his evil dad evil villain thing yk the drill

but instead he comes in to an empty house. mom is unresponsive. he cant find pogo (dont ask where pogo is. hes doing monkey butler things ok). and diego is climbing in through the window

five freaks out because WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU THIS IS MY HOUSE and jumps diego and diego goes down HARD because WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MY DEAD BROTHER?? MY BROTHER WHO DISAPPEARED 17 YEARS AGO?? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKKKK

so they try to beat the shit out of each other for a second and by that i mean five tries to beat the shit out of diego whos gained his senses by now and is trying to convince his brother (his BROTHER) that technically he lives here too please stop punching me

luther comes downstairs.

“IS THAT FIVE???”

“SHUT UP AND HELP ME THIS LITTLE FUCKER CAN PUNCH”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

they manage to calm him down when five catches sight of diegos tattoo

WAIT I FORGOT THAT THE FUNERAL WAS BEFORE APRIL FUCK NEVERMIND SCRAP THE PAST 13 BULLETS ABORT MISSION

so five lands in april, goes to the house, and by then the hargreeves have cleared out and are back to doing their own thing more or less. he comes up to the door and grace (pogo has fixed her by now because i said so) welcomes her son back home like he never even left

she gives him a hug

reginald is gone and she hasnt seen her sun in years and dammit, he deserves that hug okay? she gives him a hug.

five pulls away. mom hasnt hugged him for years because he stopped letting her and he’s not about to change his mind now

“where’s everyone?” he asks. he doesn’t even consider that everybody is gone, because where would they go? or maybe it just hasn’t hit him exactly which time he jumped into, maybe he still hasn’t made the connection exactly what age his siblings are now, maybe he has but he still hopes he can deny it for a little while longer

grace wants to hug him again but she refrains. she calls his siblings

one by one, in the span of the next week, she gets ahold of them and calls them back to the academy. “important news,” she says. “you’ll want to -- you’ll need to be here,” she says. “your brother,” she says, and her children listen and come back home

luther is at the academy when five gets here. because, where would he go? he can’t go back to the moon, and dad is gone, and he’s never even been on a bus alone before, where would he go?

when five sees him for the first time he almost cries, because he’s so much bigger and taller and older and what happened to him??

this is his new reality. this is the new luther

but it isn’t, it can’t be, because five is going to get back home and he’s going to fix it, he’s going to fix this and he’s going to grow up just like his siblings did, and it won’t even be long before he’s back home almost two decades ago.

vanya is next to arrive, and five almost -- almost -- smiles at her and gives her a hug and teases her how she’s still shorter than him, but she has such a blank expression on her face and the way she looks between the portrait of him (he hated that portrait from the beginning, he wanted to burn it because hes back now, isnt he? and he’ll go back home and not leave again, but pogo didnt let him) stops him. it will only be a couple of days and he’ll be going home already, he tells grace, so maybe the others dont even have to come here. she nods and smiles and says nothing

diego comes a day or so later, dragging klaus along, and five is stunned by how they look once again. diego looks battle-hardened and angry like he never did just last week, five’s last week, but now he scowls and doesn’t stutter and dresses himself in black and he lives alone and diego looks so lonely but five doesnt think about it because its not his business and he knows better and its diegos own damn fault for cutting contact, isnt it? and even if it weren’t five will go back and fix it all

five knows klaus has been doing things for a good year or so know, but this -- living on the streets, giggling even as diego forces him inside, making lewd jokes with his eyes out of focus -- he couldn’t have even imagined. he stamps down the feeling of i should have been there to help stop him and doesn’t think how sad and angry at their father seeing klaus like this makes him feel, instead he forces thoughts of it’s his own fault he ended up this way and i’m going to get back and fix this (but that’s not a thought he has to force. he will. he has to. it won’t even be another week before he figures out how to get home)

allison gets there next. she took the first plane she could get on to get home and pushed off all her appointments but she had a family emergency just last week and it was hard to get away and she looks so sad even when she opens her arms for a hug and five cant help but relent and give her one. diego scoffs and allison lets loose a dig thats more of a barb thats more of a sharp sentence splitting the air and hitting her brother square in the chest. five doesnt say anything but his stomach twists. just a week or so and he’ll fix it because even as children they never said things like that to each other

he waits for ben to come last. he must be the most adjusted of them all, right? ben read a lot last five saw of him, and hes one of the smartest of them, and secretly five always thought that ben deserves to have friends that he doesnt live with

ben doesnt come

he asks mom and she smiles and he asks the others and they look away and he asks again and someone -- and it doesnt matter who because his ears are ringing and hes stumbling back and falling onto the couch -- says that ben died. ben died years ago.

ben died four years after five left

fives head is spinning and he needs to get back, he needs to stop it he needs to fix it he needs to make it all better because it was never supposed to be this way

(you thought this would be a happy au didnt you?? haha bitch think again)

(it is but they have to get there smhhh)

klaus laughs and elbows the air next to him and five asks, he doesnt beg, he asks him if he can summon ben

everyone scoffs. rolls their eyes. klaus is high as a kite and hes holding a bottle of whiskey and he looks like he hasnt been sober in days. weeks. years. and he’s a liar and ben is gone for real, im sorry, five. i know this must be hard for you

that can’t be right. five wasnt there for all of klaus’ lies and stealing and drunken sobbing. five remembers klaus rolling a joint at the breakfast table like it was last week -- and it was, it was, he’ll fix it still, but to five klaus is still just his brother. just klaus

he asks, not begs, five doesnt beg but he comes damn close in this moment, to tell him the truth

and klaus looks around and ben whispers please, klaus, just try and five is looking at him with wet eyes and he’s thirteen he’s so young and -- he can’t say innocent. none of them have ever been innocent, not since reginald hargreeves adopted them all those years ago. but five...

he tells the truth. and five believes him

so anyway five cant get back and then they decide well ok five while youre staying here we might as well buy you some clothes. ones that arent literally 20 years old. jesus these uniforms are ugly

my jaw is clenching so hard and im cold asdflksdh so im gonna end this here and maybe rb it and continue lated idk 😳😳

WHOOP this is getting away from me i know u didnt come here for quote poetic unquote bullshit but weihfsdkjdhskf THATS WHAT UR GETTING I GUESS XX <3

[shtbgs-blog]

me: has 500 muses me: adds more

shush i am in a battle to have the most muses and just bc i have like 600 doesn’t mean i don’t want to play them a few of these are old old old muses I always have muse for and would love to start playing again.

under the read more you will find introductions for:

ambrose hartley ( bebe rexha ) colby blackstone ( sofia black-d’elia ) harley maddox ( miley cyrus ) brinley joseph ( chloe norgaard ) quinn james ( kehlani parrish ) daniel silver ( herman tommeraas ) lance nash ( justin bieber ) holden clover ( james franco ) & conor johnson ( nicholas hoult )

Do I hate myself? Yes I do.

AMBER ROSE “AMBROSE” HARTLEY looks an awful lot like BEBE REXHA. SHE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they're PLAYFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty ABSENT MINDED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HURRICANE by HALSEY. 

Ambrose came from a really loving family tbh like, she had no problem with them at all in the slightest

her problem was she just couldn’t stay tame no matter how hard she tried, even when she was young she seemed to be full of energy and at the age of six they had adopted another little girl to be Amber’s best friend

For a long time they were the closest of friends, and there were times where Amber thought they’d be friends forever, but as they grew older she could see how different they really were, and how perfect she seemed to fit into Amber’s family

Better than Amber ever had, actually.

So at the age of eighteen she packed up her things and moved out.

She didn’t move far, at first, instead she decided to crash with one of her girlfriends but that honestly didn’t last long.

That was when she began to travel but no one ever seemed to match her wild and adventurous persona.

While she was gone she did do a lot of bad things you could say. One of those things being mixed up with a man who actually sold her for prostitution but you won’t ever catch her talking about that

During one of these wild adventures, though, someone made the joke that they thought her name was Ambrose because of how fast she speaks. Ever since then it just stuck. That was a few years ago ( 25 )

She just recently came back to Kola after deciding maybe it was time to go home and see her family and old friends. But who knows how long this will last.

COLBY BLACKSTONE looks an awful lot like SOFIA BLACK D’ELIA. SHE is TWENTY and while they’re LAID BACK, they have a tendency to get pretty IMPULSIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FAST CAR by KHALID COVER.

papa was a rolling stone..... legit

her dad is a rock star and she’s one of hadley’s siblings

her mom is just as wild and firey as her father with a legit passion for music and maybe did a few songs with him but she was most known for kind of being a hot mess ( courtney love vibes )

which is why it’s so fucking weird that colby is the way she is like? she is just this soft spoken chill individual who likes to take photos

she’s been her parents photographer for events since she was sixteen but she’s been dying to get away from them 

so off to kola university it was, where she’s studying photography

she’s here to have a good time and she’s pretty chill

unless you get her stoned then she’s fucking wild

oh and when she’s drunk????

she’s basically a fucking rockstar just like her parents

HARLEM “HARLEY” MADDOX looks an awful lot like MILEY CYRUS. THEY are TWENTY FIVE and while they’re ACCEPTING, they have a tendency to get pretty OBNOXIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to CURSE OF CURVES by CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR. 

Harley is here to steal your girl honestly they flirt with every single female they come into contact with it’s kind of overwhelming 

but they arent strictly into females they just feel more comfortable around them

They have always been masc / the dom in every single relationship they’ve been in, romantic or platonic. 

They just have always had that more dominant personality type which has lead to them getting into a great deal of fights

When they were seventeen they came out that they identify as agender and go by they/them pronouns but their parents just didn’t seem to get it???

it wasn’t super bad or anything it just lead it to be awkward in their house hold so Harley decided to leave at the age of eighteen after graduation

Ever since they’ve been living with their best friend ( wc ) 

They work in a liquor store where honestly they get to pick up on a lot of people and get invited to a lot of parties so they dig their life a lot tbh.

BRINLEY JOSEPH looks an awful lot like CHLOE NORGAARD. SHE is TWENTY-ONE and while they’re HELPFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty SKETCHY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to RAINBOW by KESHA

. oh my god this is my oldest muse I’m bringing in so far and I’m actually writing a book based off her life so there’s a strong ass chance this is gonna be long and I’m gonna have the absolute most muse for her because i know her so well

so basically when brin was 16 her father convinced her to start dealing drugs for her in school because it was like the easiest way for him to make money since so many people in LA, California were smoking pot esp in high school 

And her dad has always been like a brodude more than an actual father figure and like she agreed because hey she got to pocket some of the cash and she was able to live her best life right

wrong at seventeen she actually fell in love with someone while her father was gone for a full fucking month and he had the audacity to come back pissed off at her for pulling away from him / he also may be on the run from the cops bc he almost got busted but he was mad at her for the former

so he took her away from la and they began their travels on the road

she never even got to finish high school

Basically she lived in an RV with her father traveling from city to city selling drugs just to get by

Her father had a way with talking to people that made it easier for them to sell and what not but soon, her father’s connection ran dry

She was nineteen the first time one of her fathers friends cornered her in the small RV bedroom and no matter how loud she yelled, he never came.

He swore it’d never happen again.

Three months later it was an almost routine practice and Brinley realized she never meant anything to him

She was too scared to leave and still to this day hasnt

She’s currently living in Kola, California but she’s staying in a motel room

Her father was able to score some drugs when they got there so she’s currently selling but she’s scared when the drugs run out he’s going to turn back to the old routine.

Give me some new friends for her

give me some people who will show her she can leave her father and stay in kola forever

QUINN JAMES looks an awful lot like KEHLANI PARRISH. SHE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re SELFLESS, they have a tendency to get pretty MESSY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THE FEELING by JUSTIN BIEBER. 

Quinn is such a mess of a human being I swear to god

She would give her left foot to a stranger if they needed it which is wild because she thinks thats her best attribute

NO IM JOKING BUT SERIOUSLY THIS GIRL WOULD GIVE ANYONE HER WORLD and she’s so quick to fall in love with people it’s absolutely disgusting

but she’s just the kind of person who thinks too far ahead but she’s such a fucking optimist she feels like everything will work out and nothing could POSSIBLY EVER GO WRONG!

wow is she constantly wrong it’s a problem but listen you can’t get her down no matter how hard you try

she’s new so thats legit all i know about her

DANIEL SILVER looks an awful lot like HERMAN TOMMERAAS. HE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re HELPFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to I’LL SHOW YOU by JUSTIN BIEBER.

Oh my god this wild fucking animal right here was well, at first he was cosima silver’s nephew but now since i have them in the same group he’s her cousin and lives with her in the apartment above her little shop

This did not happen easily, oh no, he comes from a family of very strict parents who actually exiled Cosima’s family from their lives at a young age because they believed in her ‘gifts’ and they thought they were crazy

Daniel, though, thought the exact opposite. When they were young and before the split happened Cosima would talk to Daniel about her gifts and he would reel in them and he literally loved it so much

But when they were cast out of the family Daniel sort of realize just how horrible his family actually was??? and how different he was????

Sadly his dumb ass was honestly stuck there until a month ago where he finally packed up his shit and completely bailed on his family then moved in with Cosima and he’s been here ever since

He works in her shop as a tarot card reader or rather, he’s trying to learn how to do it. He has literally no gifts but he wants to help people and maybe start to learn from Cosima 

Personality wise he’s my big pansexual mess who is flirting and messing around with just about everyone every chance he gets and he just lives for making out and hooking up and having a good fucking time okay

LANCASTER “LANCE” NASH looks an awful lot like JUSTIN BIEBER. HE is TWENTY-SIX and while they’re RELIABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty IRRITABLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HOLY GRAIL by JAY Z FEAT. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

 lets start off with the fact that Lance is the oldest of SEVEN CHILDREN his mother being the common denominator 

Lance was the first born and her most prized son out of all the kids but as he got older, and she started having so many suitors, and started toying with various hard drugs he sort of lost that connection with her and was forced to grow up way too young.

When he was ten, he already had three siblings, each one of them born a year or two after the other and Lance was the only one who could really take care of them. Him and the second oldest were often left in charge of the kids but they didn’t want much to do with all the kids and Lance sort of understood that.

When he turned nineteen and the second oldest was eighteen they left town without so much as a letter which only forced Lance to become the actual father the whole family needed.

His life has always been about the kids. He now has siblings ranging from 3 to 25 and he usually keeps tabs on all of them. 

But ya boi has to make money some how, so, he’s dedicated any time he can get away from the youngest kids to doing what he does best and thats babysitting drug addicts or being a designated driver.

He personally does not do drugs but he knows what to do and how to take care of people when they’re tripping so he has become the druggie babysitter of Kola, California.

He’s honestly a really cool dude who is actually really fucking helpful all of the time

He just gets really god damn moody sometimes and wants to punch people in the throat but think about it his day starts at 6 AM with 2 children and 2 tweens, you’d be moody as hell too by 9 pm while driving some drunk asshole home

HOLDEN CLOVER looks an awful lot like JAMES FRANCO. HE is THIRTY-NINE and while they’re BALANCED, they have a tendency to get pretty FICKLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to A WALK THROUGH HELL by SAY ANYTHING. 

his gif doesn’t match my aesthetic at all or his aesthetic but IDGAF BECAUSE IM ALIVE FOR IT

ANYWAY Holden is a cop:tm: he’s been idolizing them his entire life and now he’s just a good guy cop who sometimes lets people off with a warning and is that ‘cool cop’ around town like

all the kids love him, even criminals like him he’s just really charismatic and seems really chill????

ugh i have literally virtually no information for him other than he was divorced and it’s gonna be one of the many wcs i write up and submit but if someone wants an ex husband who gets too focused on his job all the time hmu for sure

he also has a younger brother who may or may no t better be dave franco

CONOR "CJ" JOHNSON looks an awful lot like NICHOLAS HOULT. HE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they're COMPASSIONATE, they have a tendency to get pretty RECLUSE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IDK LOVE by JEREMY ZUCKER.

ok he’s not a zombie in his main verse but like if u think for ( 1 ) second im not turning him into a zombie for the zombie verse ur WRONG!!!!

but lets focus on mainverse cj and talk about zombie cj later

Conor has always been a nice and compassionate kid and honestly, he got married at 23 to the love of his life

But after three beautiful years he lost his wife to a car accident and he hasnt been the same since

a lot of people in town look at him like this poor broken bird because ever since his wife died he hasn’t been able to be like a normal human being 

he doesn’t go out

he barely goes to work

he’s going to lose his house

he’s just in a deep deep deep depression and honestly it’s actively sad

but he’s still nice and charming and flirty at times but it’s very rare