#shhh we dont talk about december | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carmineclock · 5 years

Text

> A few days before, on Christmas~

Trace 12:47 AM

> Grabs Fin sometime during the holidays and pulls him aside. "So, when do we wanna do it?"

Fin 12:51 AM

" Do you have the rings ?"

Trace 1:02 AM

"Yep." > Pull two boxes out of the pocket and hand Fin one.

Fin 1:04 AM

"Then we can do this today why not?. I got a fine whiskey saved up for something special we can drink that or do you want champagne?." >Open the box and well...cry a little bit "Its really going to happen hu?"

Trace 1:10 AM

> Grin. You're nervous too, alright. "You're not gonna back out, are you?"

Fin 1:13 AM

"Of course not. Today of all days i'm feeling sort of brave" >smile at your lovely shark and hug him "How are you feeling though. You are the one who knows her the best. Are you ready?"

Trace 1:27 AM

> Take a deep breath and then smile. "Yes. I think. I'm sure. Do we want to do it when everyone is getting together or later when we're alone?"

Fin 1:33 AM

"Just because i get a bit of stage frights lets do this alone for now. We can get down to celebrate with the rest later"

Trace 1:36 AM

"Alright." > You stand there and shift a little, nervous and excited, then give Fin a kiss. "I can't wait."

Fin 1:45 AM

"Wait shouldn't we change into something better?"

Trace 1:47 AM

> ... "Better than this?" > I mean. You got a few other suits in your wardrobe.

Fin 1:50 AM

"You can always do better. Let's get changed. Besides wouldn't you want to wear something olive?"

Trace 1:50 AM

"I suppose. Will you do me the honor of dressing me?"

Fin 1:52 AM

"Of course, lets fix your suit first then i will get changed. Let's do this quick before somebody sees us"

Trace 1:53 AM

"Okay." > Time to get fancy.

Fin 1:55 AM

>And fancy it is, of course that Fin has bought already shirts and coats that would fit a olive aesthetic in case they decided to be all gay with Nepeta. >Fix up your boyfriend first. "So what are we going to say ?"

Trace 1:59 AM

> You're very feeling fancy. And maybe a bit uncomfortable because these aren't your usual clothes that you're so used to. Or it's just the nerves. "That we got a gift for her?"

Fin 2:00 AM

"Sounds good. Do you think you cand o the talking? your knees look weak tonight" >laugh

Trace 2:02 AM

"I can definitely do the talking. Just not the standing maybe."

> Grin and kiss him. "Managed to do it with you too."

Fin 2:07 AM

"and you almost die." >Finish tying his tie good one nice color pap pap. "Alright let me change and we can go...oof. I wish i was more prepared i feel like crying everytime, good thing i dont wear make up" >Fan yourself to stop from crying again

Trace 2:19 AM

> Cackles and kiss his cheek. "Save the tears for when we ask her, she'll love it."

Fin 2:25 AM

"I can't ! i feel like you've opened a shower on my eyes god damn" >undress at the speed of light this needs to happen soon or you will continue to cry until you are dry as a raisin "Are we missing anything? we got the rings, we look awesome. Where should we do this ?"

Trace 2:27 AM

"Her room, inbetween all the cats? Or, on the roof like our moment?""

Fin 2:28 AM

"I mean roof wins dramatic points. but the room has something cute about it. i will let you decide" >change your clothes meanwhile

Trace 2:29 AM

"Dammit, Fin."

Fin 2:32 AM

"Dammit indeed... I mean i would pick the roof because i love dramatically awesome things. But how can we call her there without raising any suspicion of you know...something big happening?"

Trace 2:34 AM

"Does it really matter if we raise suspicion if the big moment is coming right after?"

Fin 2:36 AM

"I mean whats the point of doing it with a bang if the bang was suspected to happen ?. Maybe we can tell her to go first cuz we gonna have a drinking party, tell her its about celebrating maybe our ashen stuff? so its not only us 3?. Hmmmmmmmm or we could just go with that and hope shes tired enough not to care why. I'm sorry i tend to get all twisted about these things...i..i want it to be perfect"

Trace 2:37 AM

"Shhh." > Kiss him. "It'll be perfect, no matter if she expects something or not. I don't think she'll expect that to happen though."

Fin 2:40 AM

>fix your hair nervously "I'm really trying not to peek on the trails right now. Ok lets just go before i die"

Trace 2:43 AM

> Help him fix his hair a little. It's tempting to just ruffle and mess it up again, but the two of you are already nervous. "Your idea isn't bad though. We should invite Clover anyway."

Fin 2:58 AM

"Later , once we got her yes. I kinda want to have this moment for us only. Is that too selfish of me to ask ?"

Trace 3:06 AM

"Not at all. That's fine."

Fin 3:08 AM

>sigh ok everything is fine "shall we then?"

Trace 3:17 AM

"We shall." > Up you go. > On the way there you send Nepeta a message. 03: Hey, come join us on the roof 03: It's a wonderful night today.

Fin 3:18 AM

05: got some nice whiskey too lets party kitty

05: let that partitty out

>walk in circles while craddling the bottle

Trace 3:19 AM

03: Already on it

Fin 3:24 AM

>jump jump jump "Oh boy oh boy here we go its happening"

Trace 3:26 AM

> Cackle. "If you don't want her to suspect anything, you're doing a very bad job at it. Come sit down with me."

Fin 3:27 AM

"right right" >join your nerd

Nepeta 3:29 AM

:33 < theres titties and booze? im in!!! be right there! > Right now you are mainly suspecting something kinky. Its always something kinky with them, yes? > You are ready for that in either event and quickly make your way up to the roof. Kitties here! "Is this where the hot shark party is at?"

Fin 3:45 AM

(so 35nep?)

Trace 3:57 AM

"Hot sharks and a party. Can confirm!" > Wave her over to where the two of you are sitting. Actually, you move over a little so she can fit between you.

Fin 3:59 AM

>pat the space between the two of you and wave nepeta welcome with the bottle in hand. "We saved you a nice spot !"

Nepeta 4:05 AM

> Fuck yeah, shark party! You flop down between them, giving each of them a little smooch on the cheek. "So! What are we celebrating, sharksomes?"

Trace 4:08 AM

"Oh you know. Christmas. Being together and all."

Fin 4:10 AM

"Also my amazing ass of course that's always worth celebrating"

Nepeta 4:39 AM

"Oh, so it's the ass kind of party" > Yeah, totally a kink thing. Definitely.

Trace 4:40 AM

"It's always an ass kind of party. But we got another gift for you first."

Fin 4:45 AM

>sweat sweat sweat "y-yes! a good gift!"

Nepeta 4:51 AM

"Oh? Is it... a dick purrhaps?" > Eyebrow waggle.

Trace 4:52 AM

"Better." > Grin and try not to look too nervously.(edited)

Fin 4:55 AM

>Look at trace like now? or do you want to say something first, come on telepathy WORK "Oh much much better"

Nepeta 5:04 AM

"Two dicks!" > The most sparkly anime eyes. Could it be? Trace dick night?

Trace 5:08 AM

> Crack up. "No. Yes. I mean. But no." > Take her hand. And stare at it nervously. "We were gonna ask. Would you- Do you want to marry us?" > You pull the little box out of your pocket, waiting for Fin to do the same.

Fin 5:11 AM

>when Trace moves to grab her hand you do the same and start shaking, you almost drop your box "We feel like it's the logic step for us. We both love you to death and we want to be with you forever" >Oh no you are crying AGAIN "Would you take us as the trashiest most sexiest husbands in all Midnight City?"

Trace 5:12 AM

> The two of you show her a pair of matching rings, obviously meant to go together, and obviously meant for her.

December 30, 2018

Nepeta 2:25 AM

> Oh. You did NOT expect that, not at all. They are both already married after all, to each other! And you are a troll...do you even DO marriage? Well, it's not like you were raised on Alternia anyways, but still. Is it legal to marry two people? Does it matter if it's legal to marry two people, when nothing about your lives is anways? > There's a lot of thoughts running through your mind as you cover your mouth with your hands to muffle the shocked gasp. Are you crying? Oh god, you are totally crying. > You honestly never thought anyone would ask you that. Despite your obsession with romance, you never even dreamt of it. And yet... "Y-Yes! Oh my god, yes. Of course... You fuckers. I didn't expect... Fuck. Of course I want to." > You are crying, but you can't stop laughing either. Damn it, you really do love these assholes.

Trace 2:35 AM

> For a terrible second you have to wait out the shock and realization. Waiting for that answer, and then it finally comes.. Aw. Gosh, she's so adorable. You immediately pull her into a hug and kiss her very wet face with a wide toothy grin. "Your fuckers now."

Fin 4:31 AM

>you have been holding your breath for what I felt as an eternity until you hear that sweet yes and you finally let yourself take a deep breath "I swear you won't regret it . I will do my best to make you both so happy"

Nepeta 7:42 AM

> You reply to Trace's kiss with a very wet kiss of your own, but on the lips. That's what you do with your fiancé, right? Not like you really give a damn. "You were already my fuckers. Only difference is that now I'll be officially stuck with you." > Fin gets his very own wet smooch as well. "God damn it. I never thought...Shit. You guys are so gay."

Trace 2:38 AM

> The kiss just slightly catches you off-guard, but you can't say you mind. Not the first of these kisses you shared, and something tells you it won't be the last. "You already knew we are." > You laugh happily and release her to let her hug and kiss Fin too. This gives you the chance to realize your face got a little wet too and wipe away your own happy tears.

#logs

2 notes · View notes

gothic-gnosis · 2 years

Text

december 6th 2021

i'm trying to release two people at once. i made the pain 2 times worse.

i dont think he ever wanted me .

i think he mightve just played with my feelings.

i wish he'd talk to me but i dont think ill ever receive closure unless i let him go. i have to pretend he never happened.

i'm on the second day of not checking twitter. its so tempting.

i'm still talking to one of his old mods. i think they talk now. he never responds to me when judas is streaming. he doesnt rlly respond to me at all now. i think im officially in the part of the healing process where i'm Alone.

lindsey doesnt talk to me. i dropped dale. i pretty much had to drop david even though i'm throughly obsessed and he's my fp. i know ill be okay, i know im lovable, i know im enough but holy shit i feel fucking empty.

i know in time itll stop hurting. i know ill survive. it just burns so fucking bad. i know he thought i was pretty, he told me he didnt think i was irritating but fuck. he told me he hates commitment, i didnt even wanna date him, ive had fps who stayed friends and that doesnt fucking FEEL GOOD. IM THE ONE WHO GOT OBSESSED, ITS ALL MY FAULT.

the worst part is that he knows. i know i only told him surface level things but holy shit dude. he fucking knows. he knows. he knows hes the one i want validation from, he knows i literally crave telling him everything and he doesnt want that, i know he doesnt but . it hurts so bad not being able to be like. can i have attention pls.

i even flexed how pretty i am over facetime like what a SIMP bruh, u wanted him to call u pretty so bad u facetimed him?? AND THEN HE FACETIMED ME BACK CAUSE HE WAS PLAYING LEAGUE LIKE AAAAAAAA. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME.

but now he doesn't. i broke my own heart. im so tired of feeling like nobody cares about me. im so tired of feeling this way, im so tired of dumping everything on people and getting nothing or dumping trauma because i need help and getting FUCKED im so tired of being told "you can talk to me" but i cant even get a text back a majorityof the time like i know i cant expect my friends to be therapists 24/7 but FUCK dude i hate myself. tomorrow ill wake up and pretend to be okay again. tomorrow ill wake up and all ill think about is him . my suicide will be my own fault. i did this to myself. nobody will ever know how i feel. tumblr really is my own escape from it . one day ill look at these entries and laugh but right now it fucking burns.

ok. but i kinda forgot how shitty the situation with vista was. i was groomed when i was 15 by a man in his 20s who LIKELY had bpd/attachment issues. pretty girl who sends u kinda spicy photos but then u find out shes underage and shes basically been sending u child porn and FOR SOME REASON?? KEEP TALKING TO HER?? DISGUSTING?? MAYBE TELL HER TO BE MORE CAREFUL ABOUT PEOPLE ONLINE AND LET HER DOWN GENTLELY. IM LITERALLY THE AGE HE WAS WHEN WE WERE DATING NOW AND ID NEVER CONSIDER DATING A 15 YEAR OLD BOY. WHO IS VERY CLEARLY 15. LIKE BRACES AND EVERYTHING.

you ever smoke weed and get rlly sucked into music. i love slipknot. i tried rlly hard to like them and i rlly do. vermillion pt 2 makes me so sad. unrequited love in gothic/alt literature spaces is so insane. like.. lyrics, poetry and music is so much more painful than actual heartbreak. the one person i love and it never happens, imagine a pain where the "one who got away" exists. i never did anything wrong or anything, it was just not what he rlly wanted. that feels pretty bad.

it just ocurred to me that he didnt like me as much as i thought he did.

suspended in dusk is so good. a vampire who watches everyone he loves DIE and then having to succ other ppl to death and never feel love. dam. but peter hates on october so much. i LOVE october. shes my birthday. but not tho shhh . i love being a goth girl uwu

kiss is so good too. only rock and roll over tho. and dynasty. and the self titled album. any band with a self titled album deserves nothing but short skirts.

i think david only wanted to fuck me cause he fucks everybody. i know hes polyamorus. tbh after listening to people In poly relationships, its not that bad. we're dating and hanging out? cool. we both wanna get fucked by other ppl? cool, whatever, just dont catch feelings for another girl and pls dont raw anybody ty. and communicate, its not that fucking hard. if You dont want it, i wont do it but im not entirely against the idea. plus my brothers in one so like :P

i dont think david wants me though. i dream of him every night.

0 notes

izloveshorses · 7 years

Text

Here's everything I love about the Anastasia Musical (Part One)

So!! I've finally collected my thoughts and was able to list out everything I love about this musical (this was supposed to be limited to like 5 songs but I couldn't pick just a handful bc they're ALL SO GOOD). Keep in mind, I haven't seen it live yet, just listened to the album and watched that First Look preview hundreds of times. Pleeease don't mention any spoilers or anything bc I really wanna go see it for myself some day! Warning: long post lol

The first few notes of Prologue: Once Upon a December gave me chills omg

I love how they really touched on just how much Communism affected everybody. Life was pretty crappy for everyone and it's important that it's discussed. Like, the exchange between Anya and Gleb ("I can't lose this job...") really highlights to me that they were all hungry, desperate for work, etc. and it not many people had any hopes for a better future...

"The skies are grey, the walls have ears and he who argues disappears!"

"We're good and loyal comrades and our favorite color's red!"

"Two cans of beans, comrade?" "... doNE"

The collective "SHHH!!"

DONT!! GET ME STARTED!! ON IN MY DREAMS!!!

Christy's voiCE I CANT

When I was first listening to this I was like "ohhh boy... I'm already crying on the 3rd song.... this is gonna be an emotional ride"

"Call the child anYA"

"Is it Pariiiiis? Paris..."

"And I HEAR A VOICE WHISPER 'I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT THERE' IN PARIIIIIIIS. Paris..."

"You don't know what it's like not to know who you are"

"But I still have this faith in the truth of my dreammmms"

"AND MYYY DREEAMS. SEEEEM TO SAAAAY. DONT BE AFRAID TO GO ON. DONT GIVE UP HOPE COME WHAT MAYYYYY"

"I know it all will come baaaaack ONE DAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"

Anya/Christyyyyy you're breaking my heart stop it just started

Honestly the whole song is beautiful

All of Learn to Do It is great too bc wow that's a mood changer from the last song lol

"How do you become the person you've forgotten you ever were?"

"Am I floating?" "Like a sinking boat"

"I never cared for stroganoff!"

"I don't like being contradicted." "That makes two of us!"

"I've hAD it!! And I hATE YOU BOTH!"... "Don't forGET I don't remember anything! Get OUT and let me be!"

She takes a big breath before she lists everything she learned lol

Ramin's so talented what the heck

"I heard the shots.... I heard the screams... but it's the silence after I remember most."

"A revolution is a siiiimple thiiiiiiiiiing" my guy, my dude, my man,, no.... that is false,,,

DEREK'S VOICE!!!!! MY PETERSBURG IS ICONIC

"Funny when a city is all you know, how even when you hate it something in you loves it sooooo!!"

"There's a boy, growing up, all I've been, all I'll be..."

"Funny how a BOY CAN GROOOOWWWW! Funny how a city tells you when it's time to goooo!"

"But tonight, there's a sky and quite a viewww... welcome tooooooooooo..... My PetersBUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!"

I know that Once Upon a December is exactly the same as the movie but Christy's voice is so gorgeous so I need to talk about it

"Accross my meeemoryyyyyyyy...."

THE ENSEMBLE!!!! HOLY CRAP!! THEIR HARMONIZING IS SO HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL IT LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE GHOSTS DANCING WOW IT GIVES ME CHILLS

The piano rising in a crescendo

"FAARRRR AWAY! LOOONG AGOOOO! GLOWING DIM AS AN EMBER!"

Christy's voice at the end my lord

The whole orchestra in this song is amazing

OKAY SO. STAY, I PRAY YOU. IS VERY UNDERRATED. LIKE. WHEN I FIRST LISTENED TO IT I WAS JUST SITTING ON MY COUCH WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS AND WAS LIKE "why.... am I crying... about crossing the russian border.... when I'm not even Russian.... what the heck...."

And!!! It emphasizes the fact that this is communist Russia. You don't leave!!

Constantine's voice here is so haunting and The strings are lovelyyyyyy

This is like that one song from Sound of Music when they cross the mountains lol

THE ENSEMBLE AGAIN....

Christy's and Derek's harmonizing is b e a u t i f u l

"How to go wheRE IIIIII HAve never gone befoooorrre..."

"Let me have a moment, let me say goodbyyyyyye...."

My absolute favorite part is how it slowly fades from the entire cast singing and repeating "iiiii'lll bless my homeland...." to just the trio, to dmitry and Anya, and finally until it's just Anya left.... "iiii'lll bless my homeland... tillllll I diiiiieeee..." It's so chillingly beautiful I'm never gonna get used to that

We'll Go From There is so pure and happy!

"Some women say I look distinguished this way"

"Meet the royal. Mess!"

"Why did I say? yes?"

Again, Derek and Christy's harmonizing is amazing how--

"Getagripandtakeadeepbreath and soon we'll know what's what"

"Oh what a lovely ride! And what a lovely dayyyyy! For a totally illegal geeeeetawayyyyy!"

"From theeeeeEEeeeeeeEEeeeeerrreeeee! We'll go from there!!" Bum

Ramin is baaaack with more angst and beautiful vocals in Still!

"A son becomes a man! At his faaaaather's knee..."

"--to FULLFIIIIILLLLLLLLL"

"But then you see her eyes, and something in them tells you that she ABSOLUTELY LIES"

I KNOW THEY DIDNT CHANGE ANYTHING FROM JOURNEY TO THE PAST BUT IT MUST BE DISCUSSED

It's so empowering I'm PUMPED like every time I hear it I have to get up and run around like I'm the one performing or making a music video

"Peo.ple always say, Life is full of choices, but no one ever mentions. fear..."

"Home. Love. Faaaamily. There was once a time I must have had them tooooo... Hoooooome, loooooove, faaaamily! I will never be complete until I find youuuuuu!" (Brb crying)

THE ENTIRE LAST STANZA. EXCUSE ME WHILE I KEEP SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.

Christy's voice in "THINGS MY HEART STILL NEEDS TO KNOOOOOW!"

"YES!!! LET THIS BE A SIIIIIGN!! LET THIS ROOOAD BE MINE!! LET IT LEEEAD ME TO MY PAAAAAAAAAAAST!!! AAAND BRING ME HOOOOME!! aaaaAAAAAT LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!"

AKFKFINGSG SF,F SHES SO TALENTED THAT LAST NOTE OMG

I'm always out of breath when this song is over lol

Paris Holds the Key always pumps me up omg

"Everything is is avant-garde, or chic!"

Dmitry's part tho...

"There's hope in the aaaair!"

The one and only thing I'm kinda bummed about is that they didn't include that one part from the original where everyone is singing in the final chorus and then it's just dmitry singing "toooo... Herrrr...." and then the ensemble finishes it off. Idk it's so heartbreaking but that's probably my favorite part from the original song and I'm kinda sad they cut that bit (but it's ok bc DEREK)

Crossing A Bridge is VERY underrated too omg

The orchestral part is beautiful and again CHRISTY'S VOICE

"Halfway between where I've been, and where I'm goiiing..."

"Me on the left bank, you on the riiiight!" And then Her voice at "every light is like a promise.."

I love how the middle it's kinda loud and emotional but it ends really soft and quiet

Watching Christy's "Royal Misfits" vlog made me love Mary Beth Peil bc she kinda reminds me of my Nanna, so Close the Door broke my heart a little

I love the mood of Land of Yesterday bc they're complaining that they're no longer rich lol and Lily's like "well we're not dead now!" And my favorite: "RUSSIAAAAAA!!!"

IN A CROWD!!! OF THOUSANDS!!!! I SOB EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT. The chemistry btwn Christy and Derek is magical (I mean I haven't seen them but) I can hear them smiling and their harmonizing is just... good lord. And the tension is so real

"You're making me feel I was there too." "Maybe you were, make it part of your story"

I love that you can hear the shift in Christy's voice from playful and humorous to a dawning, frightening realization ("and I tried not to smile, but I smiiiiled... and then... heeeee bowwwwed...!!!!!" "Um, I didn't tell you that" "You didn't have to!! I remember!!!!" And then a heavy pause)

"With the sun in my eyes you were gone... but I knew, even then, in a crowd of thousands... I'll find you... aaaagaaaaain....." AIGFHGKVNID THEY FOUND EACH OTHER EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY

"Your highness..." !???!???? WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING TO MY HEART

Meant to Be is beautiful (especially the orchestra) but I'm gonna skip to QUARTET AT THE BALLET. BC HONESTLY ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. The striiiings....

"My past and my future so neeeeear..." and then Dmitry breaking my heart again with "next to me this frightened girl, holding tight as the dancers whirl"

The whole part where Dmitry and Gleb are singing together omgggg "ITS FATE!! THAT BROUGHT US HEEEEERE"

And don't! Get me started on the part where they're all singing together it's so intENSE it's honestly one of my favorite parts from the whole musical. And!! DMITRY'S PART OMG HE REPRISES JOURNEY TO THE PAST "hooome, looove, faaaamily.... she will have all of it!! I will help her..." AKFJOND HE KEEPS BREAKING MY HEART HE LOVES HER SO MUCH #OTP

"Find a wayyyyy.... ANASAAAAAAASIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Again Dmitry just loves her... Everything to Win messes with my heart. "I didn't know, she mattered to meee... but now I can see, she doooeees..." (and later Anya says the same thing omg what kind of romantic crap is this, "conman and princess get their wish and fairytales come truuuue!" *clenches fist*) and "with everything to win, the only thing I lose... is youuuuuu..." :(

I love how Gleb interrupts Anya's pining for dramaaaaaaa. "If you really are Anastasia do you think history wants you to have lived??" "YES, why don't you!?"

"All but one. Finish it, I am my father's daughter." "AND I AM MY FATHER'S SON!" ( I can actually hear Anya standing with her chin held high staring at him straight in the eyes, a challenge, a dare) and a gun clicks and omg my heart started racing

"Look at their faces in mine, hear their screams, see their BLOOD." ... "Do it! Do it and I will be with my parents and my brothers and sisters in that cellar in Yekaterinburg all over again!!" GOOD LORD ITS SO INTENSE

"WE HAVE A PAST TO BURYYY AAAANYAAAAAAAA!!!!"... "A reVOLUTION IS A SIMPLE THING!!"

The ending is absolutely perfect... "she was a dream. A beautiful dream." And then "the case is closed. But still...." and the ENSEMBLE COMES BACK. They didn't have to go so hard, man

#anastasia #Anastasia broadway #Anastasia musical #christy altomare #derek klena #ramin karimloo #I couldn't pick favorites bc they're all so beautifullllll #long post #feel free to ignore #this is more for myself #but if you wanna share anything I missed feel free!#personal

62 notes · View notes