#shinoyama x fukuhara

[heretherebedork]

I love the idea that luck is what draws Shinoyama to Fukuhara. It's his luck that says 'go for that man, look at him, speak to him, accept him, tell him he rescued you, save him from himself' and it's just so good because it means that while Fukuhara is drawn to him to take advantage of his luck, Shinoyama is drawn to Fukuhara because of what he sees that no one else does.

Shinoyama sees that Fukuhara likes beer and that his smile lights up the world and the way he panics at everything and he went 'yes. yes, this is the man that I like and the man I could love and someone I want to be with all the time' and he's going to show that to Fukuhara and, together, they're going to figure out who Fukuhara really is.

Fukuhara is in for quite a journey.

[heretherebedork]

Also, I absolutely called it, Shinoyima was in love with Fukuhara from before he ever knew who he was and he's been watching him. He saw the fake smile and he saw the way he tries to be positive and he saw a reflection of himself, a distorted and shifted reflection but a beloved reflection.

Shinomiya fell in love a long time ago, both with the mask and the man behind it, because he's spent his own life behind his own mask.

Fukuhara made a perky, joyful mask to cover up his own fears and his own pain and his own imperfections.

Shinomiya made a mask of other's happiness to cover up his own insecurities and worries and to make them joyful.

They both made a mask to help others and they both hide behind the mask to face the world with a smile, with happiness, with what the world expects of them.

Shinomiya took a chance to take his mask off with Fukuhara on the chance that he'd take his mask off as well... and now that he has that, he doesn't want to risk losing him again.

But Fukuhara is still clinging to his mask, to the fears that come with removing his mask, to the worries that he's taking advantage of and using Shinomiya with his love. He still can't believe that his love is real because he benefits from it, because that love is good and Fukuhara doesn't get nice things.

[heretherebedork]

Naoya just dove headfirst into love and Kouta is still standing on the edge, staring into the relationship with fear and love and worries and insecurities abound.

Naoya just wants to love and be loved and to have time with his boyfriend, to share a thousand soft stares, to do the one thing he wants to do for the first time, to make his own choices and to see that smile.

Koutais still struggling to accept that he wants any of this, let alone that he loves Naoya, let alone how much he loves him or what he wants from this relationship.

Kouta has spent most of his life subsuming his own desire behind a facade to try not to bother people and is only slowly accepting that he can love and be loved and the he can desire and be desired and that he can want and be wanted.

And he has no idea that Naoya has been doing the same thing for just as long but in a different way, under different circumstances, for different reasons and with different results.

[heretherebedork]

Shinomiya existing entirely in shadows in his own mind because he's always put other people ahead of himself and he's never really looked at himself as the center, as the person in the light, as the one to matter. Shinomiya never having a face in his oldest memories, faceless and apart from the group.

And then the first thing he see about Fukuhura is his smile? The fake one that he understands is fake just like the way he tries to protect himself?

Absolutely beautiful.

[heretherebedork]

The more Fukuhara is around Shinomiya, the harder he struggles to keep up his facade of being this permanently positive and never bothered and never emotional facade that his only defense against a lifetime of bad luck. Because Shinoyima's good luck is far, far deeper than his bad luck and works so differently.

Fukuhara cannot help but be himself when he's with him. He cannot help but admit that he is not who he shows the world. And Shinomiya is showing him that who he is is not a bad things, is not something to be avoided, is something to be embraced.

The way Fukuhara started to be honest about his day, complaining about all the things that happened to him in a way he's always tried to avoid otherwise, is a telling sign of what is going to change about his life.

[heretherebedork]

why do you think naoya ignores kota every time kota says something flirty/romantic? i dont really get why if he's so besotted every othwr time

I'm gonna be honest, this isn't a phenomena I've noticed and I might need to rewatch some of the episodes just to see how I read it in the show...

But just considering it now it would probably indicate to me that most of the time when Kota is flirting/being romantic he's being his fake self and Naoya is learning to tell the difference between Kota pretending to be nice and Kota when he's just being himself.

I also wonder if Naoya knows that Kota was being fake when he originally asked him out and said yes anyway because he really just wants a chance to be with him. And now he's just taking his time and hoping that Kota will get more comfortable with him.

I truly believe that Naoya knows a lot more about the situation then he lets on but he's enjoying dating Kota and would rather keep that than press the truth.