#shork fish thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

Text

FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!

Rex and Quetzalcoatl had a pair of twins that they cared for very much. A girl named Maria, and a boy named Eduardo.

The twins were born on the 25th of September, and that date had arrived so it was time to celebrate their birthday!

In the morning, Mari was peacefully asleep.

Mari: *SNOOOOOOORE!*

Quetz, softly: mijaaaaaaa....

Mari: mmm....!

Quetz: mijaaaaaaa.....!

Mari, sleepily: mama..... I wanna..... sneeeeep......!

Quetz: but mija, it's your birthday today....!

Mari: hmmm.....

Quetz: did you hear me, mija?

Mari: *grumble* ok..... *sigh* I'm getting up already.

Mari got up, still very tired.

Mari: Da hell's my glasses?

Quetz handed her her glasses.

Mari: gracias....

Quetz: you should probably hurry, everyone else is already getting ready.

Mari: who the hell is everyone else?

Quetz: just the rest of the family.

Mari: hmmmm.... okay...... was worried I'd have to deal with a party.....

Quetz: don't worry, we know you don't enjoy those. It'll be just the family.

Mari: good....

After some time getting ready, Maria went out into the living room.

Mari, while yawning: ok.... how long will it take to get there again?

Rex: uh... not too long, maybe an hour or so on the serpent.

Ed: still crazy how fast he can be.

Quetz: well of course my familiar would be fast! It'd be a bit disappointing otherwise.

After a bit of time getting ready, the family went outside to see Quetz's pterosaur outside ready to go!

Quetz: ok everyone! Get on!

The family got onto the large flying reptile.

Rex: ok then. Now just a simple invisibility spell so we're not spotted on our way there.

Ed: radar won't work either right?

Rex: right, I've got everything covered, Mijo.

After that, the beast took off!

After some time in the air, their destination was in sight: Mexico City!

Ed: wow!

Mari: such a massive city.

Quetz: ah, it's been too long since we've been here.

Finally the pterosaur landed and they got off to go out into the city!

Rex: man, this place brings back memories!

Ed: so, where to first anyways?

Quetz: it's up to you guys

Mari: breakfast!

Rex: ok yeah, should probably eat first

*stomachs were growling*

The family went to a nice restaurant for their breakfast.

Quetz: mija, those are a lot of pancakes...

Mari: si, and?

Rex: your mother is just a bit concerned for you is all.

Mari: hmmm, sounds unnecessary.

Rex: also Ed, is that enough bacon?

Ed: hmmm.... maybe.

After breakfast, there were still many things that could be done.

First thing, was visiting the old site of Teotihuacan.

Quetz: *sigh* it's been a very long time.....

Mari: looks kinda.... decrepit.

Rex: kinda par for the course with old ruins and shit.

Ed: ....is there a ball court?

Quetz: si, but I doubt we're allowed to play these days.

Ed: awww....

Next stop, was the Aquarium.

Mari: Shork

Ed: Shork

Rex: ya real fascinated by those sharks huh?

Quetz: don't ya wanna see the penguins?

Ed: Penguins?!?!

Rex: also piranhas.

Mari: PIRANHAS?!?!?!

Next was the Zoo

Rex: mi corazon, it's just a random Jaguar. There's no need to cause a scene.

Quetz: I CAN SEE MY STUPID BROTHER TAUNTING ME THROUGH IT'S EYES!!!!

Mari: Mamá, not every Jaguar is Tio Tez.

Ed: we're gonna get kicked out if you don't stop.....

Rex: really hope there aren't any spiders too.

Another fun site, was the museum.

Ed: so..... this is Piedra del Sol?

Quetz: si

Mari: but... so is your noble phantasm?

Quetz: si

Ed: ....how does that work?

Rex: don't ask too many questions about this kinda stuff. You'll get it eventually.

Finally, it was getting a bit late. So it was time to return home.

Mari: we getting the presents now?!?!?

Rex: si, si. You relax will ya?

Ed: you already know she can be a bit greedy.

Quetz: it's better that you try to relax that, Mija.

When they finally got home, a Large assortment of presents were waiting for them.

Mari: Hell yeah!

Ed: hmmmmmm......

Mari: let's see.... which one first....

Mari first grabbed one with.... very unique wrapping, eyes and other odd things decorated the paper.

When she unwrapped it, what was inside was a plush wolf

Mari: AAAWWW!!!

Ed, opening a similar box, got a plush Narwhal.

Ed: oooooh!

And the horn started to glow

Ed: huh

Rex: ....that's a sword

Quetz: it's definitely a sword

Mari: also, my plush smells poisonous.

Rex: well.... that's par for the course for your Tia Quinny.

Next were.... slot machines?

Ed: so we just... pull them?

Quetz: I guess so?

The twins pull the levers of the slot machines.

The machines spun their slots for a time, until finally stopping on 3 symbols that looked like present boxes. Then out of the machines, popped out tickets for both kids.

Mari: oh

Ed: huh

From Mari's popped out VIP tickets to a Music Festival.

Mari: POG

And from Ed's popped out, a soccer season pass.

Ed: oh word?!

And finally, matching tickets for the two, for "5 hours of use of the Mooncell" from BB

Mari: ......

Ed: .......

Quetz: well that sure is.... interesting.

After that, was another box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper. The two unwrapped it, and inside were two gecko eggs. Along with incubators and everything necessary to raise lizards. With a lil tag saying "from Calamity" (Chalchiuhtlicue)

Mari: LIZARD

Ed: they're cute!

Next were two VERY big gifts wrapped in bone patterned wrapping.

Mari: gimme!

After Mari unwrapped the gift, what she found was a VERY large obsidian Hammer.

Mari: ah hell yeah!

SLAM

Ed: damn.... ok.

For Ed, was a large Obsidian Club.

Ed: oh fuck, ok.

Rex: there a reason Xolotl decided to give such gifts?

Quetz: good question.....

Then a very deep and loud *CROAK* was heard

Ed: FROGE

Then hopping out, was a very VERY large bullfrog. About a foot and a half in length!

Ed: OH HE'S A LARGE LAD!

Mari: damn.

Rex: mija, look behind that tree.

Mari: hmm?

When Mari looked, she saw a Huge car! Modeled after the Batmobile!

(Tho, with bat theming replaced with skulls)

Mari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

After latching onto the car, Mari was very happy.

Mari: finally.......! I can drive!

Quetz: can we trust her with that?

Rex: we'll play it by ear.

And in a small package near the center of the pile. Was a first aid kit, with a note.

"Happy birthday you two, hope you enjoy the car and frog. And don't forget to stay safe with the first aid kit love, Florence, Julius and Eva."

Mari: awwww.....

Ed: so sweeet....

There were many other presents from friends and family alike, more toys, clothes, even laptops too.

Then it was finally time for Rex and Quetz's presents for the kids.

Boom

Mari: the hell?

Then, out of the trees of the nearby jungle, came a large animal. A dinosaur known as Giganotosaurus.

Mari: oh...!

The creature stomped up to the family, until it stopped in front of Mari.

Mari: holy crap.....

Rex: now you have your own divine familiar too, Mija!

Mari: oh shit!

Quetz: si, wasn't sure why you didn't get one the same time as Ed's Pliosaur, but now we got you one!

Mari: finally!

Quetz: and for Mijo, it may not be as big. But since you already got your Pliosaur. We got you this instead.

In Quetz's hands, was what looked to be an electric eel. Tho it glittered with green sparkles, not unlike that of jade.

Ed: whoa, he's an odd lil guy.

Rex: he's very special too. He's not just any electric eel. But a divine construct at that!

Quetz: si, his name is Onotlachin. The storm fish.

Ed: hot damn!

Ed held the lil guy in his hands, and felt the energy within the fish. It also seemed perfectly fine without water.

Ed: he's amazing, gracias!

Mari: si! Gracias for this!

Rex: no problem you two!

Quetz: si, anything for mis hijos!

A/N: and there's the birthday story. Sorry it came out a bit late. Things happened irl. Hopefully everyone likes it! And the festivities can still continue on throughout the weekend and even longer if anyone wants to celebrate with us.

Tags

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @grievouslyxorvia @panyum @witch-of-chaldea @chaldeamage-neo @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @writer-and-artist27

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #mastersona #rex #rexcoatl #kids bday #eduardo #maria

44 notes · View notes

thenearsightedmicroraptor · 5 years

Note

Top five kinds of fish?

I’m gonna not go too much into details w species n just go for Overall Kinds, I hope thats ok!

1. SHORK

(source)

Idk exactly what it is about sharks, but they are Just So Goddamn CUTE. LOOK AT THEIR FACES. I love them … It’s about time we start treating them with as much love as lions and tigers and other big predators, if not More. The conservationist in my soul appreciates them a ton for what they do to our ecosystem and I defend them fiercely also to combat stigma, but they are genuinely also just so adorable to me.

Faves: all long Pointys. Great white. Goblin shark. Whale shark.

2. Catfish

(source)

Ok so first off: I get that many of these are invasive, grow to humongous sizes, would probably eat me if they could, taste like dirt, and are all in all just horrible creatures. That… that’s why I love them. I’m sorry. They’re eldritch abominations who look like they constantly have the Mii theme playing in their head and I just … can’t … help … but love them.

Faves: idk what the one in the picture is species-wise and nobody will tell me, but he lives in an aquarium in Denmark and I have seen him, and back then, I thought he looked like a Giant Freshwater Uncle-Fish, and i stand by this. he looks like an uncle.

3. Eels

(source)

Ever since I had a dream about a character who was loosely based on an eel, I have had a thing for eels. There’s so many different kinds and they do all sorts of weird shit. Double jaws. Start out as transparent. Leave the water to just, make their way across land. I once caught an eel on a fishing trip and uhhh. we didn’t know they were under conservation. So. we. ate it. Sorry. :(

Faves: European eel, moray eel, special shoutout to the gulper eel which is not classified as a True Eel™, but he’s closely related so I will include him.

4. The Majestic Sunfish

(source)

She is here! The Most Useless Fish, and she’s ROcking it!! She’s lovely, no doubt about it. I love her weaponized uselessness. We should all strive to be like this fish. I know I will.

Faves: Ocean sunfish, oblong sunfish

5. Anglerfish

(source)

These freaky darlings own my entire heart and that’s just the tea. Their teeth. The mystery. All their glowy wigglebits. The wild sexual dimorphism that evolution has decided was a good idea. The males just, fuse, to the female?? and lives there?? I mean tbh it’s probably for the best he is very small and the deep sea is very big, imagine all the frantic lady anglerfish swimming around like “I LOST MY TINY BOYFRIEND HAS ANYONE SEEN MY TINY BOYFRIEND I CANT FIND HIM” if he wasn’t attached. Also some of them can get like three feet long and That’s scary. Love ‘em. Also please watch the video in the source, it is mesmerizing.

Faves: fanfin sea devil, basically any of the very very deepsea fuckers, humpback anglerfish. Special shoutout to HANDFISH, I prefer my anglerfish more eldritch abomination but god. u r so cute n weird. good on u.

#ask #long post #anonymous #top fives

5 notes · View notes

poisonousfungi · 6 years

Note

Gimme dat shork boi x the calm swimmy boi with them uselessly trying to get with the other till shork just loses it and kisses le boyo

You got it mi amigo

Frustrating.

That’s the only word that could describe this situation, frustrating.

For months, Rin has been trying to court Haru. The other boy is just so clueless. They’re in Rin’s house watching something boring on TV, just two bro’s hanging out. Rin has tried everything in the book, he even offered his jacket when it was cold! The other swimmer was just so oblivious, painfully so.

Vexing.

The only word that could accurately describe the last few months, vexing.

For forever, Haru has been dropping hints that he likes Rin, but the other boy has not picked up on any of them. It has been a tiring few months but something feels special about tonight. They’re sitting in the sharp toothed males house and watching something of little importance.

Rin is basically man-spreading and leaning against the back of the couch and Haru is leaning on the arm of the couch with his legs stretched out and his feet touching the other’s thigh.

“Kinda hungry, you want something Haru?” Rin asked, tilting his head to look at the other.

“You,” The other mumbled under his breath.

“Huh?” Rin asked, not understanding him.

“Nothing,” Haru said a little too quickly.

Rin raised an eyebrow “Alright then,” He got up and went into his kitchen.

Haru groaned internally and sunk further into the couch, he wished getting this boy was easier.

When Rin came back he had a popsicle, a fucking popsicle.

He sat in his previous seat and started to lick and suck at the blue pole. Haru stared at him incredulously.

After a few minutes of Haru avoiding looking at Rin and just hearing the fucking noises he made the other finally finished the damned thing. He put the stick on the table on looked over at the other.

Haru still wasn’t looking at him but his face was burning.

“Oh for-” Rin said exasperatedly and leaned over and took the other swimmer’s chin in his hand and forced him to look at him. Haru’s eyes widened and then they’re lips were touching. It was gentle despite the initial actions. Haru melted into it and kissed back, after a moment they parted.

“You taste of blue raspberry,” Is the first thing that came out of Haru’s mouth.

Rin chuckled and licked his lips reflexively.

“So I spent all this time flirting with you and all I had to do was kiss you? Damn,” Rin said shaking his head.

“You were flirting with me? But I was flirting with you!” Haru exclaimed.

“You were?” Rin blinked at him owlishly “Guess we’re both oblivious,” Rin smiled.

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Haru leaned up and pecked the other’s lips again “Love you shark breath,” The other smiled.

“Love you too fish brains,”

Hope you like!!

2 notes · View notes