#showing up and breaking into your apartment like you’re Dick Grayson rn

[lyricsandpapers]

Apologies to the One Mutual who is about to have All of my Tim Drake Thoughts. Didn’t even realize I sent you like 8 paragraph messages at like 9am until it happened

[aliasimagines]

Insecurity // Dick Grayson

requested by a lovely anon!

1/2 Hi! Can I please have a dick Grayson x reader who is insecure and anxious and hasn’t told dick about it because apparently boys don’t like insecure girls. She feels she’s not good enough for him. She gets recognised in public as ‘dick Graysons girlfriend’ and the person says ‘he’s SO FAR out of you league. Haha you’re ugly and your relationship won’t last for long.’ 2/2 the she goes home crying and goes to sleep. Dicks comes to sleep and she in eventually she starts crying lying down and she tries not to disturb dick but he wakes up and says ‘what’s wrong oh noo?!!! And the reader tells him everything and how he could have anyone so why would he want her? And he comforts!!! And says cheesy lovey things and says how much the reader means to him and kisses!!! Thank you!!

word count: 1685

a/n: i'm sorry you had to wait for this, I ak having a hard time rn. But thank you so much for the request! I love getting requests! Also I kinda altered it and it's more angsty but I hope you like it dear! ❤️

You were already having a bad day. You had to wake up early for work. Had to leave without saying bye to Dick, as he was sleeping in after last night’s patrol. But you made a little time to admire your boyfriend. Peacefully sleeping with pieces of black hair covering his beautiful face. You glanced at your reflection in the mirror at the corner of the room. Despite wearing one of your favorite outfits you didn’t like what you see. It was just... One of those days.

Normally you’re okay with yourself but every once in a while you get extremely insecure and that’s when all those mean thought get to you. You tried to brush it off as you walked to work. To think about something else. And.. It kinda worked? You weren’t feeling extremely well but you put on some good music while walking and focused on the lyrics rather than you thoughts.

You stoped at the bus stop waiting for it to arrive. Watching a puddle in front of you heard some chatting from behind you.

„.. No. It’s not her. I mean look at her! The fuck! A top shot guy would date that. No, that is not Grayson’s girl.”

„She is I’m telling you! I saw her on a pic he posted. But you know what? Imma go and ask.”

You froze, hearing the conversation and hoped they weren’t talking about you. Sure you did know they were talking about you but still.

You felt someone gently touching your shoulder causing you to curse mentally.

„Hello, sorry to bother but me and my friend were wondering.. Are you y/n y/l?”

You swallowed the spit you had in your mouth and turned to see a woman. She had long fair hair and a pair of shiny green eyes, she is around your age.

„Uhm yes. That would be me. Can I help you with anything?”

The other woman you heard stepped closer.

„Are you really dating Dick Grayson?” you heard her voice. Like she didn’t believe it.

You took all your strength and nodded.

„Yes, yes I am.”you said, surprising yourself by not having a shaky voice. You were so close to a breaking down...

The both giggled.

„Aham, all right thank you!... Oh wait one more question... How do you do it? Are you using some sort of magic? It’s Gotham I wouldn’t be surprised..”

Your lips trembled.

„I.. I don’t know what you mean.”

„Come on girl. There us no way in hell a guy like Dick Grayson would date you. He is sooo out if your league. He is so damn hot and a son of a billioner! I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you, a gray little nobody is dating him. No offense, dear, you’re just nit a good fit for him.”

You thanked every living creature because in that moment you heard the bus pull up. You manged to excuse yourself quickly and quietly from those bullies and ran to the bus.

The remaining part of the day is kind of a blur. You honestly have no idea how you managed without breaking down. You felt like someone was clenching your stomach and had the urge to cry the whole time. But until the moment you stepped in your apartment you did not.

You knew Dick wasn’t home yet. He works late. Gets up late. And latley... Your interaction with your own boyfriend was so damn little... That it was just another excuse for you to feel insecure.

Let’s be honest. He is such a beautiful man, amazing body, breathtaking eyes, always so kind and sweet to everyone. What if he is only with you because he feels sorry for you.

You never talk to him about your insecurities because in your mind that would only make his choice of leaving you easier. In your mind, guys don’t like insecure girls. Dick is an amazing human but.. Would he be different? Would he still love you if he knew how anxious you were? You keep telling yourself, no, he wouldn’t.

You only bothered to get off your shoes and coat and throw your bag somewhere. You made your way to your shared bed, lied down and hugged a pillow.

The bitter sound of your crying was the only noise in your home for... Hours? It easily could have been hours. You kept wishing Dick was here to comfort you but that you kept reminding yourself that if he saw you like this he would straight up leave you.

You don’t know when but you fell asleep.

Dick opens the door to your apartment so delicately, so quietly. He does not want to wake you. Ah, you. All day he waited for this moment so he could finally get home and cuddle up next to you.

With him working and being on patrol a lot he.. He doesn’t see you as much anymore as he would like. He feels bad for it. He tries to leave patrol earlier or skip it, when he can but still... When was the last time you woke up together? Or when did you fall asleep together? It’s been too long and he... He misses you.

After cleaning himself up and changing clothes he walks in the bedroom and climbs next to you. It is too dark in there for Dick to see your tear stained cheeks. But what he notices is that you are still in your normal clothes and not your sleepwear.

Maybe you were just too tired to change. He excepts his own little answer and goes to sleep.

You woke up with one of his arms around you. You have a moment of joy. A moment of forgetful happiness before everything hits you. You can make out his silhouette and that alone is enough for you to break down. You try to be quiet as much as possible.

You cry, thinking if he saw you... He could leave you. You wouldn’t blame him. You feel like there’s just problems with you.

You heart practically stopped beating for a second as you heard Dick shift in his sleep.

„Babe..” he mumbled.

You collected all your strength and answered, hopefully without a shaky voice.

„Go back to sleep, baby.”

But.. He didn’t. He turned fully towards you and still half asleep caressed your cheek.

„I missed you all day Y/N.. Are you crying?” he asked suddenly sitting up, forgetting about sleeping.

Damn it.

„Yeah... But it’s fine, Dick. Go back to sleep.. I’m fine” you couldn’t actually say the lats words because you started crying so loudly. You felt him hugging you close.

„Shh, y/n. You can tell me. That’s why I here.”

„I.. Can’t... You’ll hate me.” you whispered between sniffing and crying.

„What? No! I love you, silly! I won’t hate you!” Dick responds. He starts to think though. What could make him hate you...? Maybe you cheated...? No, he knows you didn’t. You love him.... you love him, right?

„Promise?”

Dick tries to be funny and offers you his pinky.

„Pinky promise.”

„I... Lately... I just feel so awful! All the time! I’m so anxious Dick. It’s so so bad. Every morning I avoid looking in the mirror because I hate what I see. I can’t even believe why would you even consider dating someone like me. The women I met at the bus station were right. You’re so far out of my league.”

In a way this was worse than cheating. Dick felt heartbroken. He failed at being your boyfriend. He was supposed to make you feel safe! Loved! To be a safe place for you, to make you feel trusted. He failed at that. What else hasn’t he notice?

Dick felt hot tears streaming down his own face. He pulled you closer to himself.

„Y/N... I feel so ashamed. I can’t imagine how badly I must have treated you to feel like this. After all I’ve done, or rather not done I extremely worried that you want to get up and leave me. I mean I would understand but...I love you! You have to know that. I am sorry for not telling it to you enough. I need to show my love for you more. And if that is what it takes for you to realize how an amazing woman you are than I will. Because you are, amazing, I can’t imagine coming home and not finding you here. You are the single most important thing in my life. I just... Me being out of your league? Hell! You are out of my league! I don’t deserve you. I know these oast few weeks we... We barley talked. Like really talked. I was so busy with everything but that’s not an excuse to leave you alone. I can’t even ask for your forgiveness... „

„ Dick... „

„ No, really I don’t. I am supposed to make you feel loved yet you think I would leave you because you are insecure? Because you are anxious? Those are more reasons for me to stay and help you. But you feel like I can’t help you with these and that is purely my fault. But... I promise if you give me a chance, I will make up for it. I’ll be the man you deserve. Shower you with love, listen to you, help you in every way you want. Because I love you,so, so much. I can’t stand to lose you. „

You bury your face in his chest and don’t even try to hold back the tears. He doesn’t either. You cry but you are happier that you got it off you chest. Dick cries, afraid of losing you. He won’t. You won’t leave him. It will take some time for you to fully open up and talk about every insecurity you have but Dick is willing to wait for you. He will wait for you till the end of the times. Because he loves you. And you live him. And for now, on this quiet September night, love is enough.