#sighs. do I tag this toucan Sam

[shrimp-and-rice]

Oh the wonders of inside jokes

[gottalovekidding]

What’s the Cost?

Summary: Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, no matter the cost.

Word Count: 1288

Pairing: Bucky x reader, little bit of avengers x reader

Warnings: Knife violence, Blood, Character death, This is an Angst-mobile so get ready?

A/N: It’s me again! Hello anyone who’s reading this, I hope you have a lovely day. This is just one of those things that I thought of and felt like writing. So cheers! (PS if you want to leave feedback I will be forever grateful)

Moi Masterlist

You had been separated from the team, the pain along your side and back was the reminder of that. You ignored every instinct in your body telling you to return to the jet and make your way farther into the base. 

“I have sights on the computer.” You know the team is listening, “I’ll extract the data and make my way back to you guys.”

“Stay safe in there.” Steve mutters out, followed by the sound of Bucky agreeing as he engaged someone in a fight.

“Sir, yessir!” You sass back, already working on the computer. A noise behind you, you turn and are immediately on the defensive. Five enemy operatives stood in front of you, all engaging you at once. You make quick work of three and are left with just two standing to your two sides. A split second decision and you’re on the offensive kicking one in the side of the knee as the other charges at you, catching your fist they pull you away from their comrade. You engage in a knife fight with this one, paying no mind to the one on the floor, a hook to his jaw and the man falls to the floor. That’s when you feel it, a searing pain in your side. You look down to see the knife being withdrawn, the blood flowing with it as it went. You glance at the limping man briefly before elbowing him in the throat and knocking the hilt of your knife against his temple. You glance down at your wound, placing a hand on it to try and stanch the flow of blood, and go back to the computer completing the mission.

“I got the information, I’m heading back out.” You make it out of the base before you start to feel light headed, leaning against a wall for a second, refocusing your eyes.

“You getting here anytime soon?” Sam jokes through the comms.

“Shut it Toucan Sam,” you quip as you hear the man take off. “Like you’re even there yourself bird boy.” You pause. “All enemy operatives are taken care of right?”

“That they are, just get back to the jet and we’ll be on our way home.” Tony answers you this time.

You glance down at your side again, your blood staining your suit. You pull your hand away briefly, not sparing a second glance at your palm. The hole you were sporting was ragged from the withdrawn knife. You start moving again.

The jet is in your sight, you’re almost there. You see Bucky beaming out at you as your vision goes fuzzy. 

You’re falling to your knees, and with enough sense you roll onto your back before you face plant into the dirt. You hear the team cry out in astonishment and concern. 

Bucky is at your side in an instant, hand over top of yours, clutching at your wound. Steve right behind him. “Can’t believe after all these years I’m still falling for you.” You crack a smile at his choked out laugh. “Rogers, I got the information right on this here USB, who woulda thunk so much information could be stored on such a tiny piece of metal, eh?” With a shaking hand you press the blood covered drive into his hand.

“Let’s get you on this jet to get looked at, yeah?” Your eyes are instantly drawn back to Bucky as he attempts to carefully lift you up, your hand still trying to stanch the flow of blood. The rest of the team is helping as soon as you’ve crossed the threshold, laying out a blanket and placing something soft down for your head.

As soon as your back is on the floor you’re addressing the AI, “FRIDAY, launch protocol three-nine-four-six-four-nine-four-seven-four please.” You reach your hand up and brush Bucky’s hair out of his face, a small smile gracing your lips. “I really do love you James.”

Your eyes close briefly as your focus is brought back to the pain. “Hey, keep those pretty eyes open for me. Focus on me.” You blink open your eyes, he’s holding your hand to his cheek. “Can someone please tell me we have medical on standby.

“I’m not making it out of this one,” you grimace. “Too much blood lost already, I’m never gonna make it home. I need you to promise me something though Buck, promise me you’ll keep on living. You’ll stay strong and resilient, and brave. I need you to remember our good times, maybe even our bad, but you’ll use them to create stronger relationships in the future.”

“I can’t do this without you. You can’t expect me to be able to do this without you.” He’s clutching to your hand, scared of what will happen when he lets go.

“I don’t expect anything, I know you can though love. You’re one of the strongest people I know, you’re just going to have to prove it to yourself. I believe in you, you have our friends to lean on, to help. It’ll only get easier the longer you keep on living.” Your eyes blink closed again, and you sigh. Opening your eyes you meet Bucky’s tear filled ones above you, “Handsome, I just need you to stay strong and keep on living, for me, for my memory, and for you. I can’t love you forever anymore, but I will always love you until my dying breath. Meet someone who’s good for you, you deserve all the love the world can throw at you. I’m sorry I can’t still be by your side,” the light at the edge of your vision starts to go fade, just know that I’ll be waiting to meet you again eventually. I really do love you.” You close your eyes one last time. “Be strong James. Be brave.” One last shuddering breath and your hand falls limp in his, your chest falls. The last remnants of a smile grace your lips. Bucky lets out a low whine, the team averts their tear filled eyes, trying to give him his last moment of privacy with you. 

A heart wrenching sob, “You can’t just leave me like this. We were going to start our future together,” a shuddering sob echoes around the jet, “we were going to start our future together.” He repeats. Steve is as his side, a hand resting on his shoulder showing what support he could. Bucky releases your hand and turns to his best friend, “How do you keep on going when your life was just ripped away from you? What do you do when your happiness is just gone?”

“You stay strong and rely on us.” Steve pulls him into a hug, as Clint moves forward and pulls a blanket over your body. “We got you Buck,” He pulls him to a seat, Bucky just falls into it, the shock taking over him. The team all sits down as the jet leaves the ground, a heavy silence sitting over them all.

“FRIDAY,” Tony addresses his AI, “what is the protocol Y/N initiated?”

“Protocol Dying Wish, sir,” The AI responds. The silence engulfs the group again, broken only by pained sobs.

A missing piece, one that only you could fill, had broken them all. They had lost many good soldier’s in their times, but none had hurt quite as much as this. 

Bucky leaned into Steve, his tears finally subsiding. “I can’t keep going on by myself, I’m not going to be able to do this alone.” He glances at where you were lying. “I can’t do this alone.” 

Steve holds onto his friend’s shoulder, keeping him grounded. “You won’t have to, I got you.” He glances at the blanket, “I got you.” 

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