#siiiigggghhhhhhh sorry the shoulder pain is getting bad and im bitter and sleepy also

[soullessjack]

fucked up in the club thinking about how absolutely devastating apocalypse world would’ve been for Jack to be in. like this is a whole world being destroyed and ruined and turned into a literal desert of petrified wood and ash, with eternal storms and death and sadness every single day at the hands of something jack is biologically tied into. something that he intrinsically is, alternate universe or not. there’s just no way he can live in this world and not feel inherently guilty because of his heritage.

and as if its not enough for him to be part angel, but he’s also specifically part Archangel, literally on par with the enemy Michael. and Michael knows this! he fucking says so in s14! they’re not family by blood, but by virtue of their power level being equal, as nothing is ever supposed to equal an Archangel besides another Archangel. and what else does he tell Jack? that he’s young, inexperienced at being what he is; too human now to know the full scope of what he will be when he grows older. he will grow older, to live forever, until he eventually outgrows his own humanity, and his empathy for them, and out of thinking he is one of them.

jack doesn’t want to admit that it could be possible. he’s known since joining the fight against Michael that he’s strong and powerful and he knows how to use that power. but again. he’s lived for an entire year in a world ruined by his kind, among people who’ve suffered because of his kind. he’s seen the damage he is truly capable of, and not even that, because he is stronger than Archangels and therefore could literally do worse than what already looks like the worst. and we’ve seen how easily he can spiral if he causes harm or fear or violence unintentionally, how deeply and horribly afraid he is of ever losing control and causing it again, how genuinely angry and frustrated he’s been with himself for it for practically his entire life. how much he’s genuinely hated himself for it.

and for Jack to be stranded in a world that is essentially a reflection of his worst fears, of just how dangerous he could ever become. for him to see and experience the danger he could pose.. man. it’s so absolutely fucked up. but he stays anyways, because stranded yes, but also because it’s like a guilty obligation to help them. to repair something he could potentially rupture. to pick up all the little pieces of something he’s terrified of breaking. idk man it’s just. It’s just.

Can we please please talk about apocalypse world jack or I’m gonna start eating my teeth