#since saturday ive constanly felt like and often believed that the ghost of jonathon larson is hanging out with me
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Vent in tags idfk
#so im maybe going through a psychotic breakdown or something but ugh thats a powerrful word how about just beinh silly#i havent taken my psych meds for over a week or two or more i havent counted#at first it was just forgetting#then i started feeling like i was a god and i didnt want to lose that feeling#started having the “what if antipsychotics are actually spiritual supressors” type thoughts#but that went away#now ummm#this is hard to swallow but#since saturday ive constanly felt like and often believed that the ghost of jonathon larson is hanging out with me#i havent had hallucinations but hes there as a presence and a voice inside my head#hes always here#but sometimes things feel more real than other times#we've talked about the antipsychotics#at first he didn't want me going back on meds because i might lose this creative streak#but like i think we've come to the conclusion that maybe i should go back on again and see what happens#but also what if i lose everything by going back on#just keep composing and brainstorming and hope an idea will stick#but also somehow make kt through classes and work#jon is still feeling the ticking of time and it gets to me i think. i try to tell him I'm younger than he was and should have time#but what if i dont#anyways sorry to interupt your blogging with.... whatever this is#take your meds folks
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