#smal's geeks and speculations

[smal5504]

(pleeakse read the texties !!!)

this is how the bfdia pin imaginings would work, basically. as they are, artified versions of the stages of pin's chronological trauma in beefydie yay, as i said, if that makes any sense 💥

also enjoy my beautiful pin-paganda while youre at it !!! this is what approximately three years of intense geek and speculation does to an autistic and i am highly proud of my work bleh bleh bleaurgh

[smalpin]

bitches will be like "ouggggougggohuhh ouhhghh ou this character makes me sob and writhe ourrggg the entire course of her life abruptly changed one day into an environment with an unclear host unclear prize unclear goal and everything and she starts off all alone because shes recovering from solitary confinement as a consequence of her past actions that forced her to realize that she has no friends like plain zero and needs to get some which turns out is extremely extremely truly difficult for her to do because shes not normal and doesn't know how to do anything right and takes everything personally and the horrifyingly new and confusing environment presented by what should be her home isnt helping

and since nobody wants her fr fr then every time she speaks up about literally anything that deviates the norm or makes any stupid mistake then the society brutally strips her of her ability to express herself stripping her hopeless and it gets so bad to the point that for simply not being able to easily fit in with everyone else that first her limbs are torn off and then shes peer pressured into lowering her confusion into crumbs but shes still fucked over anyways because everyone in her team who she thought was going to be her friend leaves her suddenly for a stupid reason that wont benefit them

and the moment she speaks up on such bullshit shes torturously agonizingly trapped in the most horrifying living state imagineable (cant see cant speak cant physically feel or express anything forced to reside in her scary mind while she has to listen to everyone call her useless and deplorable) and then they buried her alive inside the very earth itself as they continuously bully amd mock and ignore her relentlessly throughout the ENTIRE SEASON

(and even when she magically comes back from that horrific trial and the first thing she does when come back from the earth is let out the anger and agony of her mind that she was forced to hold in for so long specifically at the first two people she can blame for the shit she went through mentally (and physically) but then turns out everyone still hates her and nobody actually truly cares about the horrors of what she went through at all (because they all PUT HER THROUGH THAT (JUST FOR BEING DIFFERENT))

so now she's grown really bitter and stubborn and continues to take literall everything personally because she just HAS to be just like thatTM and at this point she's visibly going insane she needs help she doesnt feel loved in the slightest she hates herself to bits she needs therapy she needs this horrific game to end as soon as possible she has harrowing trauma that debilitates everything she does and crippling anxiety and shes angry and hopeless everything that she does is still wrong and she will never escape the horrors of her mind no matter how much she tries and she gets worse and wants to die more every single day)

but deep down under the vast endless sky of all of those horrific vile emotions there is a solid unmoving ground which remains as the fact that she will always have and retain that mind and heart of a child, and that childlike being remains in her vocabulary even today as well as her thought processes and anxiousness and easiness to get lonely and angry like a small child

no matter how hateful and bitter she grows she is still a child who just wanted to feel free from the beginning

no matter how much "love" she instinctively registers as fake and pushes away she is still a child who wanted to feel worthy of something even if it meant giving up being worthy of the very world she roamed in

she will never be like anyone else she will never fit in with the others who understand and fit in and have friends who stay and like them and are happy

she doesnt know why she's like this she doesn't know why she's worthless and hideous and unlovable and no matter how much she tries to give up convincing her or anyone else otherwise or any other method of freeing herself from the hurt that comes with these facts

it will always hurt

she will always be different nobody will ever understand her

and she will always feel like this."

..

and then she looks like this

[smal5504]

every time i post anything ever i have a little voice on one of my shoulders go "you should make a separate blog for stupid shit and playing fun with mutuals 💗" and i cant tell if its the cartoon angel or the cartoon devil telling me this

because i do think it would be highly sufficient if i separated my actually genuine posts like art and geeks and speculation from random dummy dumps BUT!!! there is already too much dummy dumps on this blog to make the switch. but ALSO the longer i wait to make the switch, the bigger hole i dig in case i change my mind later.,.,..

how many of you all would fw a smal's anything box blog. see ive already got a catchy name up my sleeve i just need to evacuate inform all my mutuals and smalpinlings /silly

[smalpin]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS EXACTLY!!! EVERYTHING YOU SAID YES YES YES NOL

i ALSO ALSO ALSO started not liking /r coinpin much after bfdia continued..,.,..,. from the start ive always liked looking into pin deeply (and by "from the start" i mean when i first.found bfdi because that was when tpot 2 was... kind of recent???.,. and pin's tpot 2 rant permanently entered my life as. the awakening (to me finding out im a kinnie lmao)) and from the very beginning i thought "wait... is coiny really all that good for her?" but i decided to not risk being punished by the oscyt.,..,. and ship them anyways.,.,.. UNTIL BFDIA CONTINUATION WHEN I SAW HOW BAD IT REALLY WAS for all the exact reasons you mentioned!!! down to every last word YES YES YES SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /GEN /VVVPOS

i also want to mention,. since this was one of the main reasons why people were so meanie weanie to me on my big fucking thing and it was actually for good reason i guess. everybody. i do not actually think coiny is a bad person. his problem is that he is too 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 stupid to understand pin and properly care for her the way she needed him to. do you remember when he word for word called her "useless" during her darkest moment. do you remwmber how he left her so fast at the start of bfdia 18, breaking pin's final straw in the season. do you remember how irritated he decided to get in tpot 2 when pin opened up in a way that was too.complex for him. do. do you see how this just isnt right or fair

i do appreciate their silliness but its not enough to amount to how much i disappreciate how much coiny doesnt care. and again im not saying that coiny is an objectively horrible person because everyone knows he isnt (once again ive learned from.my.mistakes) but hes too stupid to care and thats unfortunately where it goes to shit and why pin let him fall in bfdia 18

something ive started to realize is that coiny is only popular because of coinpin, no one actually talks about coiny and i feel like his character is actually so underrated 🙁 yet people want him out because he’s a “screentime hoarder”

do we have any coiny truthers at all :( hes my favorite guy……

[smal5504]

smalpin's PINNED POST!!! GO GO GO!!

starting simply, my name is smal!!! you can also call me smalam, smali, or smalpin.

i me the smalpin am generally an osc doodler, fan artist + animator, and video... essayer... but iiiiiiii like pin (this is a warning i repeat this is a serious warni

i am ALSO, however, a massive learningblocks fan!!!!!!! i do lots and lots for that franchise too so expect food for that as well!!! ☆

☆ INTERESTS!!!

as of now, bfdi and learningblocks are my main hyperfixations (i will fluctuate on which one i will post more about at a time by the way),

but but but i am also genuinely insane about kikuo, pocoyo, miis, ava/avm, sonic.exe, itemlabel, dog man, sonic the hedgehog, and vocaloid ‼️ im actually in thousands of fandoms... but these are my biggest!!!

(i have been a learningblocks fan FOR A YEAR. LET ME OUT OF HE)

☆ SMAL TRIVIA!!!

i am. autistic ♾️!!! muslim ☪️!!! girl 🎀!! my age is between 13-16. i am also togolese 🇹🇬.

my kin list consists of pin, three (nbs), golfy, pillow, every single character from pocoyo (i am dead serious /gen) and four (bfb) ‼️

i i habe many blorb cretins spinning in my skull. most notably include PIN ♡♡♡, golf ball, book, foldy, robot flower, and for numberblocks they are three, sixteen, fifteen, thirt-- uhhhHHACTUALLY JUST the te(e)n blocks in general (11-19)!!! i really dont hate anyone lol :>

● i am pin from bfdi. fictionkin and everything. i have a pin blog and a long-time series-ish project dedicated to her. pleek be nice 2 her it equates being nice to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /gen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this also means please dont ever mention what happened in the osc on february 24th 2025 near me /gen :[)

● do not feel afraid to tag me. i. heart beign tagged. ♡ tag me in anything i will flock this is a smalpin approved quote

● i love palestine (being muslim) and all but i dont have a bank account and have no means of being able to donate. very sorry genuinely

☆ TAG RUNDOWN!!!

#smal's truly terrible tweakery slash geekout sessions - i unleash the evil insane and SCREAM into text rabidly and insanely like evil 💥

#smal's thoughtful thoughts - i speculate oor jus think about anything random.,.,. about existence

#smal's occasional talk show - i talk directly to audience about something that's up ‼️

#smal's thank you bag - FANAR ♡♡♡ i lobve fanart i love fanart it makes me happiest girl ever ever eVER /VVVPOS i heavily enjoy when anyone draws my pin gijinka she is me

#smal's humble requests - i always get so so super shy when it comes to requesting an artist to draw something i like a lot.,.,..... so i do once in a blood moon and when it does i jump for joys

#smal's geeks and speculations - me in my infodump era yehaYEAH YEAH i can easily hold the guiness world record for longest amount of things i have to say about pin bfdi pleek let m

#smal's NOT pintastic posts - i slash neg scream into the void as an alternative to physically crying (meaning i venenenenenenent)

☆ DNI (DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME):

anti-islam/religion in general, zionists, ableists, pro/dark/anti-ship, racists (AGAINST *ANYONE*), and other kinds of nasties you find on youtube shorts pee u!!!

☆ REQUEST AND ART INFO!!!

i am literally just some girl who goes to high school almost every day and doesnt always get wifi i cannot draw everything you request immediately 😔 this is why requests are CLOSED at the moment!!!

if it helps, though, even though i'm sort of picky when it comes to requests, when they open back up again you can ask stuff like romantic ship art but i will not be comfortable with drawing *every* ship, regardless if its actually problematic or not!!! a lot of my favorites are rarepairs, though, so thats cool ‼️ (please let me yap about my rarepairs i promise markfan and thrifteen are canon ♡♡♡)

like i said in the FANDOMS section, i may also draw fanart for numberblocks, (and maybe ava/avm), etc. but bfdi is obviously my main lolz ^^ please keep this in mind when asking for requests from me since i live under a tectonic plate!!!

also, you MAY repost my stuffBUT THERE IS CRITERIA!!!!!! you can do so AS LONG AS:

give credit (me)

it is not on a site that i am already on. this means anywhere that is not where's listed on the section literally below this one like look

⬇️

and last but not least,

☆ SOCIALS!!!

youtube: https://youtube.com/@smal5504?si=7SJuKsM95V59uY6X

pinterest: https://pin.it/4TZNKqrim

i am "@smal5504" everywhere!!! (thats just youtube, pinterest, and here, tumblr!!!)

thank you for reading this now please enjoy my art its the only thing keeping me goign