#sneaky hint as to what my next series is going to be themed around

[jamiespalace21]

Barber & Weiss ~ Ch 2 Test

Chapter 2

This is a test version of the original post. To read more, check out the series masterlist below on my primary blog.

Series Masterlist

Words: 2.6 K

Pairing: Dark Andy Barber x Dark Mike Weiss x Reader

Warnings: Expletive use. References to drug dealing, drug use, and embezzlement. Dubious consent, mild coercion, sexual blackmail, contract for sex as repayment, theft. Oral sex (female receiving).

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown and tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

Summary: You run the office at Barber & Weiss and love your job and employers. When your drug-dealing boyfriend gets in trouble with a loan shark, you’re hesitant to embezzle money from the law firm to bail him out. But he promises you he’ll be able to return the money quickly, before someone notices it’s gone. What’s going to happen to you when your boyfriend is arrested and your bosses know about your theft?

A/N: Mike gets you all to himself for the night.

~~~*~~~*~~~

The next weekend Laurie went out of town for work and Andy promised to stay with Jacob Friday night until she got back. Mike didn’t want to leave their little office manager by herself in Andy’s house since it had been less than a week since Jimmy had been picked up.

They’d given her a couple of days to get moved in, to adjust to the situation they’d devised for her. Mike had arranged for some of his more street-wise friends to pack up her belongings and bring them to Andy’s. He knew she’d been worried about how she’d get her things.

Honestly, she’d been on the edge of worry since they’d hired her. It showed in the sadness he read in her face when she didn’t know he was looking, the tension in her body at the end of the day. With that asshole for a boyfriend, it really wasn’t a surprise.

Their girl was a damn good office manager, represented Barber & Weiss perfectly. But her experience and professionalism weren’t the only reasons they’d hired her.

It was just last night that they’d all gone back to Andy’s for dinner. Then as they had the first night, they moved everything to Andy’s guest room. They’d enjoyed their girl, loved her until she was a trembling mess between them. And just as he had the first night, Mike eventually headed back home.

But even with the friends who came and went at all hours, Mike’s humble house was quiet and lonely in a way he’d never noticed before.

It made sense for her to stay at Andy’s. Sure it did. Mike just didn’t like it. Not now that he had time to think about it.

Tonight, she didn’t know he was coming, and Mike wanted it that way. He’d had a late meeting with an expert for the Fields case, so he’d sent her home, loving how flustered and confused she was with Andy already gone and knowing the house was empty. He’d called a friend to make sure she made it okay since he had the interview.

And he could have knocked when he reached Andy’s house. He let himself in instead, wanting to see how things really were.

It was an hour until midnight but she already had the lights out downstairs, a hint of her perfume lingering around him as he headed for the guestroom.

It was empty. Mike shook his head, knowing immediately Andy had moved her into his own bedroom upstairs.

Sneaky motherfucker.

Andy knew when he came up with the idea for how their little angel could pay back the money she’d stolen that he had to include Mike. They were equal partners in the firm. And Andy knew Mike wanted her as badly as he did.

But it seemed that’s where equal partners ended. Andy had the advantage, and he knew it.

That being the case, Mike didn’t have to worry about playing fair now, did he?

Quietly, he climbed the stairs, finding her in Andy’s bedroom, in Andy’s bed, just as he expected. Mike lingered in the hallway, just taking her in as she sat against the headboard, flipping through channels on the huge TV in front of her.

His little angel looked small in that huge bed in just a black band t-shirt and little sleep shorts. She looked tired and he knew everything was preying on her mind. The wariness in her eyes as she found something to watch and tried to focus on it brought out a need to protect her, to make her feel safe.

Oh, Andy was in for a fight. He just didn’t know it yet…

Tapping on the door to let her know he was there, he knew he’d scare the shit out of her. He didn’t like the way she jumped on the bed, her eyes wide as he walked into the room.

“Sorry,” Mike whispered. He meant it. “I didn’t want to wake you if you were sleeping.”

She blew out a sigh of relief, trying to smile as he stopped at the edge of the bed. “How did the interview go?”

Mike shoved his hands in his pockets, moved closer. “Good. I think he’s going to be able to help us.”

When he sat on the edge of the bed, she didn’t shift away but she still eyed him warily. Maybe it was because Mike wasn’t supposed to know she was sleeping in Andy’s bed. Maybe because she was reluctant about their arrangement. That would be understandable.

Maybe she preferred Andy to him.

No.

“Had any trouble?” he asked, toeing off his shoes and scooting up to stretch out next to her.

She shook her head. “I got here, had something to eat, and decided to turn in early.”

She didn’t say home. Mike smiled.

“Want some company?”

“You mean for…?” she asked nervously.

Mike traced a finger along her trembling lower lip. Yeah, okay, the arrangement seemed like a good idea in theory. But he didn’t like this. He didn’t want her this way.

But he very much wanted her.

“Anything you want,” Mike told her. “I can go if you—”

“No,” she cut him off. “Stay.”

Mike knew she was mostly afraid of Jimmy and his friends, but he’d take it.

“What did you eat?” he asked.

She didn’t expect the question. “Oh, I had a sandwich… Have you eaten? I could make you something.”

Guilt had his heart clenching in his chest. Still taking care of him even with the situation they’d maneuvered her into. Mike shook his head.

“Let’s get takeout,” he offered. “Have it delivered. Anything you have a craving for?”

Mike didn’t miss the way her gaze moved quickly over him. Oh, there was interest there.

After a moment, she shrugged. “I like most everything,” she said finally.

Easy enough. Mike pulled up the app for an Italian restaurant he liked and delivered late on his phone, placing an order. When he caught her climbing off the bed out of the corner of his eye, he stopped her.

“Where you going?”

“I should at least put jeans on or…”

Mike threw her a grin. “Why? Relax.”

Submitting the order, he considered that. Sitting up, he pulled down the black suspenders he wore, pulled off his tie. When he stripped off the dress shirt, he didn’t miss the way her gaze roamed over him.

She liked that, huh?

In less than an hour, they enjoyed dinner in Andy’s dining room. Him in his suspenders and slacks, her in those cute little shorts. Mike made them drinks. Watching her relaxed and enjoying her meal had him smiling.

That’s better.

They put up the leftovers, piled the dishes in the sink.

‘What are we watching?” he asked with a wink as he herded her towards the stairs.

Mike got an eye full of those curvy legs, her nice ass as he followed her up.

“There’s a crime series I wanted to watch,” she admitted as they reached Andy’s room.

“Crime series,” he mused.

“Right,” she laughed nervously. “Too close to the day job?”

“I can tell you every time they’re full of shit.”

“Pass,” she said, slinging him a shy smile over her shoulder. “A movie?”

“Whatever you want.”

Mike climbed up on the bed with her. Grabbing the remote, she stretched out on her side facing the TV, scrolling through every single streaming service that Andy seemed to have. Once she found a movie she wanted to watch, a superhero movie no less, he grinned.

His little angel could watch whatever she wanted. Playfully, he pushed her onto her stomach, straddling her thighs as he slid his hands under her t-shirt, his fingers finding her muscles tense. He grinned as he got to work on that, watched her fold her arms to cradle her head..

She hummed contentedly under his hands. Her skin was warm velvet under his fingers, the tension eased from her as he worked.

“That’s it,” Mike whispered. “Relax. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Her eyes were closed, hiding some of her emotion from him.

“You… you don’t owe me that,” she muttered.

“Hey,” he stopped to get her attention. “For my part, I’m not upset at all about the money. I told Andy you didn’t know the real reason Jimmy wanted it. I was right.”

His hands began moving again, sliding to her lower back.

“Guys like Jimmy are a dime a dozen,” Mike went on. “I’m just grateful this happened before the loser really did do something to hurt you.”

Her eyes opened, she was watching him in her peripheral vision.

“What?” He could tell she wanted to ask him something.

“You said you’d bought from him,” she said carefully. “So you…”

“Used to be a user?” Mike wasn’t going to hide it. “Yeah. I’m mostly clean these days. Haven’t really bought anything off the street for a few months now.”

She nodded, her eyes closing again as he continued the massage.

“Mike?”

“Hmmm?”

“Why… I mean, you and Andy…”

Mike expected the question she was trying to ask.

“Andy told you that first night,” he explained. “We didn’t talk about it when we first hired you but… Probably shouldn’t have hired you since both found you very attractive.”

She froze at that.

Mike moved his hands down to the globes of her ass. The silky shorts weren’t really much of a barrier.

“But I was recently divorced at the time and trying to get clean so…”

She took a deep breath as he moved down her body, allowing him to get his hands on the backs of her thighs. Her skin was supple, smooth.

“You would have…”

“Asked you out?” Mike grinned. “Yeah. Dating an employee is usually not advisable but since when do I ever worry about things that aren’t precisely spelled out by the law?”

She chuckled. “Never.”

Mike worked on her thighs, letting his fingers roam over that sensitive flesh. He could feel the damp heat near her center. But he didn’t want to jump right in. She’d gotten quiet.

“But now I’m just…”

“You’re just what?” Mike stopped to ask. “It’s a private agreement. We all get something out of it. You get our protection from Jimmy. We get you. But that doesn’t make you any less than the woman we… I want.”

I won’t let Andy keep you.

Gripping the hem of her t-shirt, he pulled it up and off her. Grinning as she shivered beneath him. She wouldn’t be cold for long.

Mike’s hands smoothed over her back, down her sides. She shivered again for a different reason. Sliding his hands under her, he palmed her breasts. The centers were already hard little buds from his touch. Draping himself over her, he teased her ear with his lips.

“Can I have you?” he asked gently. “Right now?”

She rolled her hips, a gentle grind into his aching cock. As an answer, it would suffice.

Mike chained heated kisses over her shoulder, down her back. He took his time, loving the way her fingers dug into the duvet, the restless little shifts of her body under his. When he reached those barely-there shorts, he lifted only long enough to yank those and her panties off.

His gaze met hers when she glanced at him over her shoulder, just in time to watch him grab a pillow from the top of the bed and stuff it under her hips. Her mouth formed a little “o” as he pushed her thighs apart, wrapped his arms around them. It just made him harder for her.

Mike loved the way she struggled in his grip as he took her apart with his mouth. He teased her lower lips, her weeping entrance, not even going where she desperately needed him yet. The tension in her thighs, the grind of her hips against his mouth had his libido growing fangs. His little angel was tangy as summer lemonade and Mike took his time, had her singing before he even got to her clit.

By the time he was drawing on that pearl with the tip of his tongue, she came for him. Cried out for him. She was a responsive little thing and what man didn’t appreciate that? Mike kept her there, worrying that little button with his mouth and enjoying the way her entire body lit up. Once. Twice.

His name was whimper when he brought her off a third time, left her panting. Taking his suspenders down, Mike undid his slacks and took himself in hand. He was so hard it hurt. Pressing inside her, he had to close his eyes, to breathe through it. She felt so fucking good. So tight and soft around him.

She had him fighting like hell not to come.

Once he’d worked his way in as far as he could go, Mike eased himself over her, caging her to the bed. When he began to move, her sigh was contentment. Hell, her walls were still trembling around him.

“You good?” Mike slid his hands over hers, lacing their fingers.

“Yes,” she whispered, her silken walls clamping around him making him groan, urging him to keep moving.

It was so easy to get lost in the feel of being inside her, being joined with her. She fit against him perfectly, her snug little channel able to take him. But the squeeze? Fuck. It was satisfying. Mike dropped enough of his weight on her to hold her in place as his hips worked, grinding into her over and over.

“You like this?” he whispered hotly in her ear, fucking her gently.

Her fingers squeezed his. “Yes.”

“You feel good?”

“Yes.” It sounded like a plea.

A plea for more? He’d give her more.

Mike held her to Andy’s bed and fucked into her, knowing the minute when the tension began building in her again. When her thighs tightened, Mike shifted, pushing them together and holding them tight with his own. Oh, it had her tight little passage clamping around him like a vice, almost brought him off. But the position made it feel like a deeper plunge into her, gave him the angle he needed to hit the mark that would drive her crazy.

“Oh.” The breathy little sighs she released sped up and her grip on his fingers almost hurt.

She struggled as the pleasure built, and he wanted her to. Mike wouldn’t grant her a reprieve, wouldn’t let up. Not until she came screaming one final time and she did, the sound echoing in the quiet of his partner’s bedroom. The flutter of her walls around him triggered his own release and he thrust into her hard and fast, unloading into her as currents of pleasure coursed through him, shook him like a storm.

Rolling onto his back, Mike struggled to breathe. That had been good. That had been so fucking good.

She was shaking when she lifted up onto her elbows, looking wrecked, looking fucking beautiful.

Wrecked because of him. He did that.

Not Andy.

“Hey.” Mike traced a finger over her lower lip. “Want to get some sleep?”

At her nod, Mike pulled her to him for a kiss. He loved the tender feel of her lips against his, the way she submitted to him. Yeah, Andy made her sign a damn contract and that was probably why she’d do whatever he asked. But he could pretend for now. His heart demanded it.

He helped her climb up the bed, get under the covers. She was blinking like a sleepy owl by the time he climbed off the bed to take off the rest of his clothes.

With a smirk, he plucked the suspenders off his slacks, tossing them under the bed.

Mike climbed in with her, pulling her in to be his little spoon.Fighting off bitter thoughts.

Had she been sleeping Andy’s arms every night? Mike was thinking there would have to be some revisions to this agreement.

But she was sleeping in his arms tonight and that was something he very much wanted. He was pretty sure she was asleep by the time he pressed his face into her hair and just enjoyed getting to hold her.

[kachuwritings]

A Night to Remember

a/n: It is finally here; my Stray Kids Halloween special,,,5 days too late. I’m sorry, real life got in the way, I procrastinated like mate, stop procrastinating and I underestimated the amount of work this would cost me. With that being said, I worked my ass off for this special and i hope you all like it since I put my blood, sweat and tears into this. <3

word count (all 9 parts): 11.5k

main part: 1.8k+

summary: A story in which Stray Kids take you to a Halloween-themed amusement park on the night of October 31st and there’s different kinds of attractions you can go on. This is a 9 part series with this here being the main part and one part for each member. In the end, click on the attraction you want to go on and get your date with a surprise member.

=> moodboard credit to the lovely @marriael who made it specially for this series.💖

It was definitely a Halloween spent differently this year. No trick or treating, no giving out candy, no dressing up or Halloween parties since this time your friends decided to take you out on a trip to a Halloween-themed amusement park on the spooky night of October 31st. Claiming they wanted to make the first Halloween they get to spend with you special and a night to remember, whatever that was supposed to mean. Literally the only information they gave you regarding this trip was that it’s going to be at night and they had promised it to get spooky but the latter just sounded like an empty threat to you. After all, you knew your friends, and they were bigger cowards than you, yourself, especially the one whose looks resembled a squirrel.

Apart from squirrel boy there was also a sneaky one who seemed to be attached to squirrel boy in your group of friends, an overly enthusiastic yet sleep-deprived leader, an ethereal, gorgeous angel you still weren’t sure was actually human, then this small bean who claimed to be dark and intimidating, though everyone could see he was actually quite the opposite of it, his freckled best friend with the voice of a demon, an innocent-looking boy who could roast you better than any BBQ ever would, and not to forget the braces-wearing baby. And now, tell me again you weren’t at least a little bit worried about what’s going to happen tonight. They could’ve at least provided you with the name of the amusement park or its location but as soon as you asked, Chan only replied to you in a suggestive whisper, saying it was a secret.

What had you gotten yourself into?

Hyunjin texted you this morning to be at their dorm at 6pm, so you still had enough time for the one-hour long drive, and now that you were standing in front of their door, you already felt the excitement bubbling inside of you. Sure, you’ve been to amusement parks before but never at night and on top of that on Halloween. You had sworn to yourself to kick the butt of whoever was going to scare you, no exceptions made.

Not long after you knocked on the door, footsteps could’ve been heard from inside the room, approaching the door. A tall boy with messy black hair revealed himself after opening the door to let you in. He looked classy and fashionable even in a simple black and white striped sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. His hair seemed to still be somewhat wet since you could see little droplets of water glistening among the mess of black strands.

“Good evening, Hyunjinnie.” You smiled, lifting your hand up to ruffle through his messy and still slightly wet hair, making the boy giggle.

He reciprocated your smile and greeted you as well, following you into the living room of their dorm, after you disposed of your shoes next to the door, where you then plopped down comfortably to wait for them to get ready.

While you made yourself comfortable and fetched your phone out of your bag, Hyunjin disappeared into the kitchen just to appear next to you seconds later again with a glass and a bottle of water, which he both placed on the coffee table right in front of you, before heading in the direction of their rooms and the bathroom, getting ready himself, or so you assumed.

“You guys are worse than girls getting ready for prom. We’re going to a Halloween-themed amusement park and not a catwalk…or wait, are you now telling me you’ve played me and we’re heading somewhere completely different?” You rambled on as they finally showed up in the living room, all styled and ready to leave.

“First of all, hey!! We’re not worse than girls,” Changbin pouted.

“Exactly. And no, don’t worry. We’re taking you to that amusement park for sure.” Though something about Minho’s smirk while saying that made you worry after all.

The drive to that ominous location where the amusement park was supposed to be located at turned out to be funnier than expected and it actually calmed your nerves down a lot, almost to a point where you laughed about yourself for thinking those eight dorks would really try to scar you for life. You were all listening to the whole I am YOU album, which they had just dropped around a week ago and jamming along to all the songs. Jeongin was a smiley baby as always and screamed the song lyrics together with Jisung while Felix sang everyone’s part in his deep voice with Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin trying to imitate him. Minho looked at them in amusement, though with a raised eyebrow and then gave you a look that equalled an eye-roll, to what you grinned back at him. Sure, it was loud inside the van but it was also a blast and everyone seemed to get more than hyped for an unforgettable night.

Finally, the van that Chan was driving came to halt and you looked out of the window to discover that you actually headed to an amusement park, its name already visible from afar due to the huge, ascending neon sign on top.

Scream Shadow Land, it read.

‘Sounds promising,’ you thought with a hint of sarcasm.

Chan, who had already climbed out of the van from the driver’s seat, shooed everyone out and guided you to the entrance. The big neon sign gave the surroundings a light orange glow which made you think of pumpkin soup, or maybe it was all the pumpkins standing around as decoration that suddenly made you feel hungry.

After Mr. Bang was so nice to pay for everyone’s entrance tickets, you entered the big park and came to an abrupt halt after walking through the gates. The park looked huge and there were so many attractions, you didn’t even know which one to go on first.

“It's beautiful, right?” Chan suddenly appeared next to you.

“Yes, it's mind-blowing. Thank you for taking me here.” You replied in awe.

The park was lit up by all the attractions and streetlamps, there were even glowing pumpkins standing around. It wasn't packed but there were definitely quite some people who wanted to spend their Halloween night the same way as you planned to.

“You need to keep an eye open, y/n, sometimes they try to scare you and suddenly jump out from a dark corner in a creepy costume.” Jisung advised you with a grin.

“And if you're not careful, they'll kidnap you and bring you to their dungeons.” Minho chimed in from the other side next to you.

“Guys, are you trying to scare me now because you’ve realized this amusement park is rather beautiful than scary?”

“We might,” Seungmin whispered into your ear, making you turn around hasily, slightly startled at him standing right behind you all of a sudden.

“Jesus, don't give me a heart-attack, Minnie.” You exclaimed while dramatically clutching your chest.

“I want to ride the roller coaster,” Jeongin whined from a few feet away from you.

“I'll pass,” Jisung gulped, getting reminded of that time they went to an amusement park during their reality show.

“C'mon guys, let's get going!” Chan announced, signalling the rest of you to finally get away from the entrance and start the adventure.

“Since we came here to surprise y/n, they can choose what ride they want to go on first and then we'll just see who'll go with them, okay?” Changbin suggested, giving you the opportunity to choose freely.

Now that made you nervous. Not the part that you could choose, that was awesome, but the part when he said that someone would join you then. Of course you silently hoped for a special someone but how big was the chance to pick exactly the one ride he wanted to go on, too? 1 in 8, so you had to choose wisely.

You were here with eight dorky but wonderful guys and you would've been lying if you said they didn’t make your heart beat faster. After all this time you had spent over at their dorms as their friend, you felt so close to each and everyone of them though there was this one member you had always felt a bit different around. You didn't want to admit it at first but over time you had to be true to yourself and give in to your growing crush on him. Whenever it was the two of you alone, you felt your heartbeat speed up and your hands getting shaky. When he touched you casually or brushed his hand against yours, a wave of electricity shot through your whole body, and someday, all of these signs became so painfully obvious that you had to admit it to yourself.

“Look at all those attractions! Which do you want to ride first?” Chan asked you, inspecting your profile from the side and unknowingly shaking you out of your little reverie.

You did look at them. But how on earth would you be able to choose. There were at least eight different attractions that piqued your interest.

There was a dark and huge building if you took the path to the far left, it was clad in spider webs and looked really spooky. In front stood a person dressed in a skeleton costume with a scythe and there was a pool with blood red water right next to the entrance from which green light and a lot of smoke came out. Next to it was a similar building but instead of an actual haunted house it looked more like a dark ride. It had drawn ghosts all over the façade and seemed inviting for a little spook. You weren't really sure which scared you more though. If you took the path right in front of you there was a huge carousel with three different floors first and right behind it you spotted two tall towers, one being a gyro tower and the other one a drop tower. Those attractions seemed more or less harmless and fun. Last but not least there was also a path to the right which led you to a roller coaster and a swing ride. If you followed the path even further it would lead you more into the centre of the park where the giant and cliché Ferris wheel was located, from which you could see all over the whole park and even more. You were beyond amazed by all these attractions.

“Which one do you choose?” Felix beamed his contagious smile at you, tearing you out of your thoughts.

“Uhh... I think, I choose…”

Roller Coaster | Haunted House | Drop Tower | Gyro Tower | Dark Ride | Ferris Wheel | Swing Ride | Carousel

“Oh really? I want to go there, too!!” A familiar voice sounded from next to you.

“Alright, let's pair up and meet here again in two hours!” And with that, everyone went their own ways in pairs.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X18 - Bleeding Through

If you don’t like Cora, then I’d recommend you EVA-cuate before this review begins!

...Fuck what you say! I’m proud of that one!

Anyway, the review is under the cut!

Press Release

After Zelena steals Regina’s heart, Regina casts a spell so that she can speak across the realms to her dead mother, Cora, to discover the truth about why she abandoned Zelena, and Belle stumbles across what Zelena’s ultimate end game is. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, young Cora is duped by a man claiming to be a prince and finds herself alone and pregnant. But a chance meeting with a real prince could lead Cora to the royal life she’s always craved, but she must keep her pregnancy a secret or risk losing everything.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

The Cora insight in this episode is so great. Like we really see how a woman with ambitions of royalty, but still a level head becomes someone so driven like the Cora who abused Regina so she’d become royalty. ”Revenge is a long-term plan.” I like how even in an episode that is more-or-less leaning towards sympathizing with Cora, there are nuggets of her darker side wedged in there. It really helps balance the story and remind the audience that yeah, this is Cora. There was always that darkness to her, even while she still had her heart.

Everything in this flashback also completely recontextualizes what happened with her and Regina and Daniel’s relationship. Like, of course a love with a commoner would leave Cora just a bit apprehensive. That’s not to excuse her for SHIT, but I do this it’s important to point out nonetheless.

Present

It’s weird that we don’t really reach the meat of this story until the halfway mark. Everything beforehand is more setup than anything and it’s unlike most every other episode in that regard. The closest comparison that I can think of is “Coming Home” which spent its last fifteen minutes as an epilogue.

I compared the Regina/Zelena/Cora conflict to the Snow/Regina/Cora conflict in the past, and I guess now’s as good of a time as any to unpack that. Just like how Snow did something that hurt Regina without meaning to at all, so did Regina to Zelena. Both Snow and Regina in their respective situations were innocents and so were Regina and Zelena victims of Cora. So, is there a point to pointing this out rather than to just say that it exists? Well, I think the latter instance shows the only good way that a complicated issue like this can be resolved: communication and understanding. Snow and Regina grasp this about each other and finally, this is where the bulk of their issues are put to bed. While Snow’s divulgence of her secret comes out, it’s going forward played for laughs in the instance of a corrupted state or as a “what if.”

But ANYWAY, that aside, the Snow/Regina dynamics sits at the heart of the present segment’s story. It’s hinted at early on and blossoms from the end of the failed seance onward. Snow’s apologies to Regina throughout the episode allows for these two women to finally confront the complicated nature of their run-ins with Cora. Cora was a bad person who in the end, got what she deserved, but the mess she left behind wasn’t deserved by those with whom she left it.

All Encompassing

THAT ALL HAVING BEEN SAID, ”She didn’t want to give up Zelena. She was forced to by my mother.” Everything Snow recounts about her possession is utter BULLSHIT and makes me think she has no comprehension skills! To put it bluntly, that aspect of the ending fucking sucks! This would be one thing if this were a few episodes ago, but she’s contradicting things that have and will be in mere minutes literally clarified. Cora DID willingly give up Zelena and all Eva had to do with it was making sure Leopold wasn’t swept up by it. THAT is why “My best chance” is the swerve of a line that it is, because it’s a mother giving up her child to die in the woods with absolutely no remorse! Because of all that, the moment where Snow “exposits” about the present ends up as the weirdest story hole that paints everyone involved in such an unnecessarily weird light. This is either the result of the writers not communicating with each other about the framing or the framing being flat-out wrong. Like, they’re trying to make this a more complicated issue, but are going in the reverse order of things! How did they fuck this moment up so badly?! If they wanted to do that, Eva should’ve been shown in the episode to be a lot more malicious than she was instead of exposing a liar. The actions should’ve been worse, but I’m more on Eva’s side than Cora’s. OR FUCK! LEOPOLD has a giant ass hatedom and he was the one who proposed to someone he was roughly four times older than! Make HIM the baddie! Have him outright reject her for the pregnancy and kick her out, no lie attached. That way, you get to keep the message the same, but give that assholery to someone who deserves it. Just...this element that makes up the moral center of the story is utter GARBAGE here, and it’s so sad given how well set up everything else was. Eva’s move was only douchey if you remove the fact that Cora was keeping such a big secret!

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-”Red apples are so sickly sweet. Don’t you agree?”That must be an Enchanted Forest thing, because not in our realm, or at least not compared to Granny Smiths!

-Okay, Zelena’s plan to get Regina’s heart was sinister and ingenious as fuck!

-The way Roland just drops the firewood in his hands upon seeing Rumple is so fucking adorable! #bestcharacter

-Aww! Regina’s first thought when she loses her heart is to ask if anyone was hurt!! <3

-I love the background music in the flashback’s first scene. It’s so bouncy and peppy and just makes me smile!

-Jonathan’s such a sneaky asshole-ish fuck. He has his seduction of Cora down to a freakin’ science!

-”I’ll turn this ring into gold.” Bitch, she’ll do it herself!

-”Can you please tell your mother that we’re not naming your brother Leopold?” Yes! Please don’t!

-”Eva might not work for a boy.” Edwin?

-The Dark Vortex is hands down the silliest thing this show has ever done and I kind of love it.

-”Oh don’t be jealous.” ...This line was said from Zelena to one of her monkeys. Do her monkeys have crushes on her?

-I like the explanation for why they don’t use the seance more. I am curious though, do you think people who have moved on can be communicated with? Like, if Neal were killed with an actual weapon and Zelena were present for it, would he have been able to be summoned?

-FUCK YOU, JONATHAN!

-”Good luck finding me.” Why? You’re a gardener. You’re pretty easy to find. ...Okay, so you’re just gonna run away from your job? ...You are such a loser.

-Hey! Pre-scummy Leopold! Decent to see you!

-Jeez. Hearing Emma talk about how powerful her magic is hurts! Damnit!

-”I’m not in the mood for a heart-to-heart.” “I’m not sure that’s physically possible right now.” XD That’s an underrated joke and Regina’s chuckle was well earned!

-”You can help with the teacups.” Why is it that teacups are this show’s equivalent of being soft and cute?!

-I love how you can see how freakin’ amazed young Leopold is when Cora takes his knife to make the fire.

-The way Emma says “Boom!” is sooooo cute! She’s so excited and I want that as my fucking text tone! <3

-...I love how Belle for once gets to interrupt someone at Granny’s. This is ending up as the best Belle episode ever and she’s not even the main!

-”You should have a woman dress you more often.” I can’t say that I disagree.

-”Why a heart? Why courage? Why a brain?” Do you think Zelena knows that there’s not only a book series, but a classic movie based around these things?!

-”My son is not lost. He’s dead.” Don’t remind me!

-Haunted house! Why are there so many Halloween episodes that have fuck all to do with Halloween?!

-I love how the possession blends into the next flashback scene! That was COOL storytelling!

-...I know Rumple’s playing her, but damnit, the dude’s dashing as fuck. If I were Zelena, I’d have fallen for him too.

-Damn! Zelena’s touch starved! Have a listen to those gasps!

-”And he said I have a tough placenta, which somehow came out creepy.” Yup, that’s Whale for you.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Wicked Witch - So we now have Zelena’s plan and I while I stand by what I said in my “It’s Not Easy Being Green” review in saying that it’s kind of pointless going back in time when Cora only wants a child that will grow up to be royalty, the process of how she time travels is nonetheless a good one and Zelena’s the kind of character who is both cocky and talented enough to make it happen.

Regina’s Redemption - We get so much of Regina’s Redemption in this episode and once again, it’s all just spectacular! “If she wants to kill you, she’s gonna have to go through me.” Like, Regina’s not only defending someone who she used to HATE, BUT is freely standing up to her mother. That’s so impressive!

Killian’s Redemption - I think it’s a big show of how much Killian has grown as a character that while not romantically pursuing Emma, he’s still doing everything he can to help the cause while he comes up with another plan. He’s definitely in a complicated spot here and not telling Emma is definitely a mistake, but for his current situation, he’s doing what he can to ensure everyone’s safety.

Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple made a really impressive stride here. Just as much as Rumple mourns for Bae’s loss, he wants to honor the sacrifice he made and thus refuses to resurrect him at the cost of invalidating that sacrifice. Look, Rumple has a tendency to put his needs above others, but with Bae, he will never do that again.

Favorite Dynamic

Belle and Regina. Let’s talk about that apology scene and how good it is. I like how at the start of it, Regina does what she did with the Lost Boys and points how how them working together could benefit them both, but upon seeing that that won’t work (Or that it will, but Belle deserves better), she gives a real apology. And I like how Belle, while working with her, doesn’t necessarily accept it. It’s also a good moment in that it gives Belle a voice as she gets to react to things and get angry, and as Belle isn’t often granted that by the writing staff, I think it’s something that makes those moments stick out more.

Writer

Jane Espenson and Daniel Thomsen finish out their work for the season here, and they were doing such a good job...but then they fucked it up! Like, the mistake was easy to fix. Either make Eva do something FAR more villainous than convince Leo to test Cora or axe the “my mom was evil too” angle. But by not going all in on one or the other, you lose the center of your story, and that’s exactly what happened here.

Rating

8/10. Not gonna lie. That 8 comes solely from the ending resolution on Eva and Cora. That lack of understanding of what your own narrative was saying is so shocking and appalling to me that I had to take off more than just one point for it. The rest of the story -- both of them -- are so good. How did they not stick the landing? I feel like they were trying so hard to make Cora more complicated that they neglected Eva in the process.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - This is such a weird moment to love as a CS fan, but I still do. Emma’s finally opening up herself more to Killian and Killian can’t do the same, but Emma’s still trying and she’s trying fairly hard! Also, I want to know how that conversation would’ve gone had Belle not stepped in! Would Emma have gotten the truth out of Killian? Would there have been cuddles? It’s anyone’s guess!

Golden Heart - Just gonna point out that when Cora finally showed up, it was in by a spinning wheel of all things!

Outlaw Queen - I like the present buildup to Robin and Regina getting together. Regina’s softness and understanding of them being soulmates on top of their chemistry really helped the expedition of their romance work. Robin’s subdued presence alongside Regina and Snow’s conversation about her resilient heart really helped their kiss come together.

-----

Hey guys!! Thank you all for reading and to those fine and fabulous folks at @watchingfairytales for birthing this project! Also tagging the marvelous @daensarah by request! Love you all and I’ll see you all next time!

Season 3 Total (169/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (39/60) Kalinda Vazquez (26/40) Andrew Chambliss (34/50) Jane Espenson (28/30)* David Goodman (29/40) Robert Hull (30/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (28/30)*

* Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

[batsy-batsy-batsy-blog1]

Gotham’s Most Wanted [The Joker x Harley] Part 2

Day 2 of JokerxHarley Week: Greed

(This fic is going to be a series, one chapter for each day of the week, but some chapters may have more to do with the theme of the day than others) Check out @jokerxharleyweek for other submissions

Summary: Harleen Quinzel finds someone she never expected in a world she’s convinced is out to get her. (Highschool AU)

AO3.org

For the first time in a very long time, Harleen didn’t wake up with fear on her mind, she woke up with thoughts of him. He knew her name, poured his heart out, sat with her for almost two hours. She would have sat with him all night if it hadn’t been for the sounds of her father BANGING on the bottom floor. The second she heard he was back, she had disappeared back into her family’s apartment in a flash, not even checking to see whether Jack was awake or not.

Jack.

She sighed happily as she slid out of bed, put on some clothes, and blinked on some mascara. Expertly, she tied her hair into two pigtails for two reasons, 1) It was adorable and 2) It made her look more innocent, less people would suspect her of her little crimes. Obviously the pigtails hadn’t worked their magic when it came to stealing Miranda Costello’s laptop though.

Harleen carefully poked her head out her door, and surveyed the situation. Her father was passed out on the couch like she assumed he would be, an ash tray full of cigarettes and empty beer cans surrounded the floor around him. She swore her life came straight out of an angsty teen novel. Her mother was no where to be seen.

She tiptoed her way to the front door like she had done last night. She passed the kitchen on her way and froze. Her mother’s wide, glassy green eyes caught her own blue one. Harleen was caught with her backpack slung over her shoulder, leaving way earlier than she needed to, and her mother was caught clutching a nearly empty vodka bottle in one hand, and raiding the alcohol cabinet for more with the other. The alcohol cabinet was the only reason her mother ever went into the kitchen anyway. They both said nothing, slowly returning to what they were doing, a silent agreement to keep what they saw a secret.

As Harleen began to descend the rickety, spiralling staircase to the main entrance, she briefly glanced over the railing and she was so glad she did. Jack. The unmistakably fluff of black spiked hair was two flights below her.

“Jack!” She called. He looked up, and when he saw who it was, he rolled his eyes and kept going. Harleen wasn’t going to stand for that. She jumped down the stairs two at a time to catch up with him, but it wasn’t until they were out on the street, and she saw the back of his over-sided purple hoodie was she close enough to call his name again.

“Jack!” She yelled again, he was only ten-feet ahead of her now. This time he didn’t keep quiet and continue walking. This time he whirled around, and ran at her. He slapped a hand over her mouth, and dragged her into one of the plentiful ally ways that littered this street. It took everything she had not to completely flip out. From her experience in life, a hand over her mouth meant suffocation, but he released her as soon as they were alone in the ally, he wasn’t going to hurt her.

“Are you insane? You can’t just yell in the middle of the street in this part of town this early in the morning, you’ll be shot! Are you stupid?” He reprimanded her. Harleen’s eyes narrowed at that remark.

“No, I am not. Don’t call me that.” She ordered me. He just rolled his eyes, and began to walk away again. “Hey, I’m talking to ya! No one’s gonna shoot me ‘round here cuz they know who my father is, he works with Falcone.”

“For, not with, for, you’re father is scum.” Jack retorted, but he didn’t seem angry, just bored. This is not how she had wanted this conversation to go. And Jack was walking away again.

“Hey! Stop doing that!” Harleen whined jogging to catch up with him. “Look I don’t disagree my dad’s scum, I’m just saying the people ‘round here no not hurt Falcone’s people.”

“And I’m just saying, you ought not to feel so safe. You think cuz you’ve got a big bad dad, you’re fine, but you’re dad isn’t one of Falcone’s ‘people’, he just thinks he is. Falcone’s wouldn’t care one way or another if your daddy was dead, not to mention his annoying daughter.”

“You didn’t find me annoying last night,” Harleen mumbled.

“Is that what this is about? Look Harleen I’m sure you’re a sweet girl, but I don’t do sweet. I was drunk last night, that why we talked, that’s why I told you all that stuff. Just because we had one conversation does not mean we have some sort of connection now. I was so fucked up, I would have had a heart to heart with the fucking wall.”

“I think you’re lying, I think you liked talking to me, and I think you’re just trying to push me away now because you’re afraid of human connection.”

“What the fuck? You think you’re some kind of psychologist?” Jack gave her a confused and annoyed look all rolled into one facial expression.

“No, but I’m taking a psychology class, and I’m really good, so I’ll probably end up being one.”

“Well I hate psychologists, they’re all idiots you think they're helping me. They don’t, just want their fat paycheque.”

“You don’t think being able to read people and pick apart their mind is fun?”

“I can already do that, I don’t need a class.”

“Fine whatever, we’re getting off topic, there’s a reason I wanted to talk to you.”

“And what’s that?”

“I think we should be friends.”

Jack actually laughed at that one, not the same laugh as last night. This one was real, he found actual humour in her statement.

“No thanks Harleen, I don’t really do friends.”

“I know, that’s why you need me, so next time you get drunk you won’t be having that heart to heart with the wall.” She giggled, she swore she saw a hint a smile on his lips. She only ever saw him smile when he was wreaking havoc on the school.

“You only want to be friends because you have none.”

“I do!” she defended herself.

“Like who?”

“Well I got Red, you know Pamela Isley?”

“Oh, that chick hates me more than the average person, but congrats on your one friend!”

“I have more than one! I got, um, Selina Kyle!”

“You’re friends with Selina Kyle?”

“Well yeah, sorta, kinda, well we have an understanding.”

“So no, not friends?”

“I guess not.”

“Didn’t think so. Let me rephrase Harleen, I just don’t think we should be friends. You’re nice and everything, but you’re too sweet and innocent. You wouldn’t enjoy the things I like to do in my free time. I mean you smell like cotton candy for fuck sake.”

“Try me, Jack. You might be surprised.”

“Harleen, your hair is in fucking pigtails.”

“Fuck off.”

“Oh, she swears, how rebellious!” He covered his mouth with his hand in mock horror. “Okay, for example the reason I’m off to school so early is this. You see that ATM up ahead? Yeah, I’m about to break into that.”

“Oh wow, I’m so impressed, an ATM, how high risk!” It was Harleen’s turn to be sarcastic.

“Well it’s not like you’re off to rob a bank there Hun, let me guess, you’re headed off to school so early to what? Get some extra studying in?”

“Yes actually.” She shrugged as he scoffed at her. “Well that, and to stash like stuff.” She swung her bag off her shoulder and opened it to reveal it was stuffed full of electronics.

“What is all that?” Jack seemed genuinely interested in their conversation for the first time.

“Shit I’ve stolen from our classmates. Like that’s Miranda Costello’s laptop she’s all bent out of shape about. There’s phones and tablets, and just stuff like that, stuff people are dumb enough to bring to a school full of poor kids, who come from bad neighbourhoods. Like I got a solid gold pen in here Bruce Wayne brought to school.”

“Bruce Wayne huh? I hate that guy.”

Harleen just shrugged, zipping her backpack up, she didn’t really know much about him, except for the fact she had stolen his pen, and he had the locker beside her. Well that and his dead parents, but everyone knows how that song goes.

They were now stopped in front of the ATM Jack had been talking about. He crouched down and examined it’s lock.

“Look, you may wanna get out of here, unless you want to be an accomplice.” He warned her.

“Oh you’re right, we could get put on death row for this one.”

“Fine, but I warned you.”

“So, ya gonna pick the lock?” She crouched beside him.

“I’ve never really been one for silent, sneaky crimes.” He produced a hammer from his own backpack. “I’ve always been a slut for chaos.” His face split into something that could only be described as a maniacal grin, and he laughed as he swung the hammer once, twice, tree times against the lock.

“Oh fuck!” Jack exclaimed as the door swung open, causing the both of them to jump backward slightly. “Exploding dye pack!” He was right, there was a somewhat small bang, and then bills were fluttering to the ground, coated in a thick dark blue dye that matched the dye splattered across Jack and her skin and clothing.

He scooped up a small pile of bills into his backpack, tossing the hammer in along with them. Harleen did the same trying to find the least affected bills.

“Run, come on!” Jack was on his feet and offering her his hand, he was smiling so wide. She smiled back and gladly accepted.

They took off down the street, Jack pulling her along. They wove their way through Gotham’s complicated maze of streets for at least 15 blocks. They took detours through ally ways, hoping fences using crates and dumpsters, but every time he went before her, and every time he waited to take her hand again. Jack laughed the whole time they ran, it was infectious causing her to giggle along with him. He finally stopped, turing off a main street into yet another ally, and leaned against the brick wall. They slid down into a sitting position.

“Now that’s was I call a good time.” Jack sighed. His eyes were closed and he wore the most content smile in the world. Precious.

Harleen felt her adrenaline pumping wildly through her veins, and her lungs heaving to catch her breath. She could feel her cheeks flushed from the running and every time she breathed it felt like she was swallowing razor blades from the cold.

“I feel awake.” She whispered, mostly to herself, but Jack opened one eye, taking in her expression.

“I’m going to give you one day. We do what I want to do, and if you think you still want to be friends after that, then fine, but this is your one day to decide. It’s also my choice so if you piss me off, then you’re gone. Now, come on.” He was on his feet again. “I got somewhere we can hide your stuff, and this ink-covered clothing. He was offering his hand again.

He helped her to her feet, and led her down a couple more streets, until they ended up at the backdoor of their school.

“I broke the lock off this door last year, and they still haven’t fixed it or noticed for that matter.” Jack chuckled, holding the door open for her.

Harleen had never been in this part of the school, it was usually so clean, and orderly, but down here it was unkempt and messy.

“I like it better down here, I feel more in my element. Everything upstairs is so fucking perfect and fake. Nothing is perfect, this basement is like a reminder that even the things that seems the most put together and lovely, have secrets, dirty, broken secrets.”

Harleen ate up his words, like he was some famous poet.

“Here we are!” He announced, gesturing to a plain old grey door. She was slightly disappointed, she was suspecting something a little more hidden.

“A janitor’s closet, isn’t that a little cliche? And wouldn’t the school easily be able to get in here, and you know, find my shit?” Harleen crossed her arms.

“Maybe they could have two years ago, but around the same time I broke the lock on that door back there, I changed the lock on this one, and only I have the key.” He grinned, holding up a key chain with about four or five keys on it.

Harleen stepped closer to him, excitement gleaming in her eyes. “Now we’re talking.” She took the key chain from him, examining each of the keys. “It’s this one isn’t it?” She held up a small silver key with a circular head.

“How could you tell?” He asked, mildly impressed.

“Psychology doesn’t seem so dumb now, does it?” She giggled, turning away from him and inserting the key into the lock. He rolled his eyes.

“What are the rest of these keys for?” She asked, fiddling with a few of them.

“We’re not that close yet.” He said, snatching the keys back, and shoving them in his pocket

“Yet.” She smiled opening the door, and her mouth dropped open. The little closet was full of things, electronics, clothes, jewelry, anything you could imagine. Now it was Jack’s turn to look smug.

“Greedy little bastard, aren’t ya?” She laughed.

“You may have stolen a few bits and pieces, but I’m the king sweetheart.”

“You don’t say.” Harleen replied in awe, following him inside the little room, shutting the door behind them.

“You can toss you’re bag anywhere.” He said. “And we gotta get rid of these clothes, we may have broken into an ATM, but the world doesn’t need to know.”

“But I don’t have any other clothes here.”

“Guess you can wear some of mine for the day, here.” He tossed her a flannel and a grey t-shirt that had been handing on a make-shift clothing rack. “You’re jeans will be fine, you can barely see the stains of them.”

“You want me to change in front of you?” Harleen smiled slyly.

“I don’t care, do what you want.” He shrugged, but as she turned around and pulled her shirt over her head, she could feel his eyes on her back. She smiled, she had him.

“Hiya Red!” Harleen greeted her friend, sitting down at their shared table in the chemistry lab. She turned her head to see where Jack had sat. He was in the very back with the goggles everyone was supposed to keep on their faces at all times pushed up on his head, covering his wild mop of black hair.

“See I have friends” She mouthed at him.

“One.” He mouthed back, Harleen replied by sticking her tongue out at him

“Hey, Harleen! I’m talking to you.” Pamela snapped her fingers in her face trying to get her attention.

“Sorry Red! What were you saying?”

“Where were you this morning we were supposed to study? And why were you 15 minutes late to class? What are you wearing? And most importantly, for the love of god, why did you walk in here with Jack?” She spat his name out like it was poison.

“Slow down, one thing at a time Pammy! Okay, this morning, I- uh, got a little held up, I only just got to school, that’s why I’m late too. I had to change clothes, mine got ruined, and as for walking in here with Jack, he’s the reason I’m late.”

“Ugh, figures.” Pam grumbled, shooting a glare in Jack’s direction. “I hate that guy.”

“I like him, I think we’re kinda friends...” Harleen trailed off after seeing the look Pam was giving her.

“Friends with Jack? Since when are you friends with that fuck up?” She whisper-screeched.

“Pamela! Quiet down, finish your lab work.” Their chem teacher snapped, and Pam began to angrily mix their solution.

“Honestly Harleen, being friends with Jack, is just going to derail you entire senior year. There’s a reason everyone calls him a clown!”

“Red, I think you’re being-“ Harleen started to defend him, but Pam cut her off.

“It’s because he can’t take anything seriously, and everything is a joke to him. He’s a total train wreck Harleen.”

“Listen red, I know you’re one of my only friends and I appreciate that, but shut up. You’ve never spoken to him in your life.”

“I don’t have to, to know guys like that are going no where, probably going to end up dead in the gutter!”

“Pamela!” Harleen could have started shouting at her right in the middle of class. “That was too far.” Her voice low, and menacing, so much so that Pam knew she said too much.

“I was just making a statement.” She mumbled.

“Well next time you want to make a statement like that, don’t.”

“Wait, what are you doing, that’s not right!”

Pam and Harleen turned around to see little Edward Nygma jumping around Jack’s shoulders, waving his hands. Incidentally he had ended up being Jack’s lab partner.

“Relax Nygma.” Jack was saying as he finally replaced him goggles to his face. Now, duck!” He shouted, grabbing Ed by the shoulders, and pulling him to the floor with him. Their was a small pop, then their mixture exploded. When the smoke cleared, Jack was peaking over the table, the tips of his hair singed, and the entire table blackened. Ed whimpered from the floor, but the teacher, who Harleen kept forgetting the name of, looked ready to explode himself.

“Jack. Principal’s office. Now.” Jack stood up, bowed, and casually sauntered out of the room. A low rumble of laugher started up in the room, but one look at the teacher had everyone silent. “Edward, clean that up. the rest of you get back to work.”

Harleen turned to look at Pam, but she had already gone back to working on their own assignment, she was mumbling to herself, and shaking her head as she did so.

“Friends with Jack, I mean honestly...”

“Harleen, where have you been?” Harleen whipped her head around with a big smile on her face to see Jack walking toward her. She had been walking to the main doors with Pam, they had both been a bit short with each other that day since the events in chemistry class, but they were each other’s only friends, so they had to suck it up.

Jack walked right up to them and caught her by the arm, pulling her away from Pam, into the busy crowd of students making their way out of the school, so she couldn’t follow.

“I thought we were supposed to spend the day together, just us, that’s what you agreed to isn’t it?” Jack raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, but you got sent to principal’s office first period, and never came back, I just figured you got suspended again.” She shrugged, but delighted at how eager he seemed to have her around.

“You think I actually went to the office? No- god Harleen, rule 1 of hanging out with me, you get in trouble, cause more. You get sent to the office, don’t waste the opportunity of being out of class by actually going where you’re supposed to, and find something fun to do.”

“So what did you do?” The were outside now, and Jack was leading to the back of the school again.

“That’s what I’m showing you.”

As they got around to the back, they were about to round the corner when Jack stopped her and physically pushed her back around they corner.

“There’s a cop car back there, and cops and they’re talking to the principal. Did you give me up? Is that why you wanted to be ‘friends’ so I’d show you where I hide my shit, and you’d give me up? Is that it?” He held her against the outside wall out the school, eyes flashing, all too alike to her father’s.

“No, get off me! I stashed my bag of shit in that room if you forgot. What? You think that was just a bag full of props? You think all that stuff was actually mine, and I’m just playing you to get you arrested again?”

“I just-“

“Don’t fucking accuse me of that shit.” She shoved him.

“Calm down, I have to cover my bases.” He looked down, apparently focused on straightening out his sweater, but she assumed he just didn’t want to look her in the eye. “It doesn’t even matter now, they’re gonna find everything in that room, all our stuff is gone.”

“No no no no, I have to get back in there, we gotta get it before they find it!” Harleen eyes widened in fear.

“Are you kidding, if any of them even see me near there, they’re gonna arrest me in a heartbeat, no, we aren’t going back there.”

“No, you don’t understand, my dad...” She trailed off, imagining wha he would do once he found out she lied, stole, and had been arrested. “My name is in my backpack with the stuff.”

“I really wanna call you stupid right now.” He shook his head, turning his back from her, trying to think. “If they find that backpack, you’re gonna go down for the whole room.”

“No, that can’t happen.”  She went the corner to peak around see what was happening, and her eyes almost popped out of her head. “Jack come here, look at this.”

“What?” He peeked his head around above her’s. “No way.” He laughed coldly.

“The principal and a cop doing a drug deal.” Harleen was still in awe.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. Don’t wanna get caught spying.” He pulled her away from the wall, and started walking back toward their neighbourhood. “That’ll just teach ya, everyone is shit, no matter how good they seem.”

“I can’t argue with ya.” She agreed. They walked the rest of the way in silence, but she could practically feel the anger radiating off him.

As they reached their front doors opposite each other, he turned to her.

“You wanna come inside, my mom probably won’t be home until late?” He asked, but he wouldn’t meet her eye.

“I wanna, I do, but I gotta be home when my dad gets home and I don’t know when that will be.” She said sadly.

“Well, I could come there if ya want?” He offered.

“Yeah! Okay!” She was agreeing enthusiastically, before she thought about it. How would she get him out of the apartment before her father got home? And how would she avoid him meeting her mom?

Shakily she took her house key out of her pocket, but she couldn’t keep her hand steady enough it get it in the lock. Without saying a word, he took the key from her, and did it himself, pushing the door open. She shut the door behind them and when she turned back around, she came face to face with her mom. So much for him avoiding meeting her.

“Oh Harleen, do you got a friend over, do ya?” She drawled, giggling. Drunk as usual.

“Yeah mom, come on Jack.” She sighed, trying to lead jack past her, but her mom snatched her wrist with what could only be described as her claws.

“You know ya dad don’t like boys in the house little lady, he won’t be happy to find him here.” She smiled, showing all her yellowing teeth. Her mom used to be beautiful, but years of alcoholism, smoking, and beatings from your husband took that away from her, leaving Harleen with this broken shell of a woman, for a mother.

“Yeah, that’s why he’ll be gone before dad gets back.” She pulled her arm away, creating stinging scratch marks on the sensitive skin.

“That doesn’t mean he won’t know he was here.” Her mom laughed loudly, which quickly turned into a hacking cough, and the whole scene ended with her passing out on Harleen. She stumbled under the weight. The whiskey bottle her mother had been burning like a child slipped from her hand, and smashed of the floor.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, but could you please clean that up for me, while I put her in her room?” She had never felt more embarrassed in her life, but he just shrugged it off.

“I know the drill.”  He agreed

“Thank you, there’s probably a towel to dry it up with, and a broom for the glass in the kitchen.” She directed, awkwardly pointing in the direction of the kitchen under her mother’s dead wait.

Harleen began to drag her mother’s unconscious body toward her bedroom. It wasn’t easy, no matter how fit Harleen, what a person’s dead weight is fucking heavy. She felt as if she struggled for an hour trying to toss her mother onto the bed, but in reality it was most likely 15 minutes.

Once she finished dealing with her mother, she found Jack standing back in the main entrance holding a wet towel, and a small plastic bag, witch what she assumed held the glass pieces.

“What do you want me to do with these?”

“Nothing, I’ll take them, thank you.” She took the items from his hands, giving him a small smile.

“It’s no big deal, I’ve done it a million times.”

She led him to her tiny bedroom at the back of the apartment. He father had thrown up some pieces of ply wood and a curtain when she was born, sectioning off a minuscule corner of the living room for her bedroom. Just enough room for a bed, and a dresser stuffed in. But she did have a window, right above the bed.

“Welcome to my humble abode.” She said as she crawled up on the bed and forced open the rusted window, tossing the towel and the bag of glass outside. “Can’t have dear ole daddy finding those.”

Jack jumped and flopped onto the bed, causing her knees to buckle from where she stood on the bed, she fell, landing on top of him. but this wasn’t some adorable ‘moment’ like in the movies where their eyes meet, and their faces so close they could kiss. Instead, he knees fell right onto his groin, and she smacked her head off the wall. They both crumbled to the ground in a fit of equal parts pain and laughter.

Once they got themselves together again, they lay side by side on her bed. She didn’t know how long they were there, but conversation with him came as simply as if they had been friends forever. He was funny, really funny, making her laugh more than she had in her entire life, and she knew she wanted him, just him.

“You know you’re name is a mouth full, Harleen Quinzel.” He commented after a few minutes of silence.

“Don’t remind me, I hate it.” She groaned.

“What you need is a nickname, I’ll have to think of one.” He said, making her smile. She liked the idea of him having his own name for her.

“Okay then, J.”

“I never agreed to a nickname.”

“Too bad, you got one.” She smirked. He chuckled, ruffling her hair.

BANG BANG.

She knew what that meant all too well.

“Oh god, you got to go.” She scrambled.

“What why?” She could see he didn’t want to.

“My dad, he just got back, I heard him downstairs.”

“How the fuck would you have heard that, we’re on the fourth floor?”

“Believe me, I think I’ve learned the sound of my dad, I always hear him. It doesn’t matter, he’s gonna be up here soon, you have to go!” She pushed him out of the bed with her, over to the curtain that serves has her door.

“Fine, I’ll go, but I’m not done talking to you.” He said flipping around to face her, so her hand that had been on his back pushing him out, were now on his chest.

“So, I guess that means we’re friends?” She smiled, not moving her hands.

“Fine, friends.” He rolled his eyes, he did that a lot, whether he meant it or not, and she was hit with a surge of confidence. She bawled her hands into fists, gathering his shirt in her clutch, and pulled him toward her, kissing him freely, and to her delight, he kissed back. When she released him they were both smiling.

“Just friends?” She asked.

“Go to sleep Harleen, it’s late.” He chuckled, and was still smiling as he backed out of her room, never breaking eye contact with her until the curtain forced them to.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 2X18 - Selfless, Brave, and True

Hey, reader! And WOOD-n’t you know, August is here too!!!!

So while we’re all here together, let’s talk about this episode! Under the cut we go!

Press Release While Mary Margaret goes off on her own in an attempt to come to grips with what she did to Cora and how her deed has affected her, she stumbles upon August, who has hidden himself away from the others and is completely made of wood – ashamed at the actions he has taken in life; and Emma is shocked when Neal invites his fiancée, Tamara, to come to Storybrooke. Meanwhile, before the curse was cast, August is introduced to a man of magic who may be able to prevent him from turning back into wood – but at a steep price. General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness This is one of those episodes where the events of it are good, but can’t really be picked apart and discussed in specific segments like I usually do (Besides, the “Insights” make up for it this time! XD ). I like both of the stories and their use of character. I’m admittedly a sucker for episodes where a character makes a decision in one part and then ends up on the opposite side of the proverbial equation in the other, and this one was done pretty well! It’s a simple type of character development, but it honestly gets the job done. August is built to be just selfish enough for the episode’s purposes, but his fear of dying was an appropriate choice as to make his cowardice and selfishness never take him over the line of detestability. Additionally, while I take issue with one aspect of it, I think August’s redemption works well through his sacrifice as death was something he feared so much and was capitalized on well enough in the flashback, and his reward is well deserved. In both segments, Tamara works as a twist character and while I get tired sometimes of those overly mysterious characters who dodge most every question like a banana peel in Smash Bros, I think they did a good job in making The Dragon likable enough. If I had to complain about something, I just feel like the twist that makes August change his mind about leaving should’ve been more character based and closer to the theme of being selfless, brave, and true. As it is, it’s just seeing a photograph, and that’s not really all that revolutionary to someone who was content enough to run away earlier despite knowing what Tamara could do. It exposes nothing about his morality. What I would’ve done is have Tamara also take the string from the Dragon. It would’ve tied (GET IT?! TIED XD ) back to who August was and his father. Insights - Stream of Consciousness -Phuket? More like “fuck it.” Aren’t I right August, ya beach bum? XD -”I’m turning into wood.” Given your previous position, I guess the wood that goes around comes around! ;) -David, you sure that snowbells are the best flowers to give Snow to cheer her up? Because she literally just buried her friend with them a few days ago. Maybe you oughta go with tulips or a nice rose, perhaps? -Also, David! You look hoooooot in that shirt! Fuck the sausage and eggs! I’d be content enough with that big slab of meat you call a bicep! ;) -Ooh! I love that bit of indirect tough love advice Emma gives David on Snow’s behalf! It’s a nice callback to their friendship! And it works! AND Snow relays that advice to August later on! -”None of it will matter?” I’m with Snow, David. Shit’s not that easy. -”Please. Give me time.” There might be some in that breakfast he cooked. Just saying. -”She should be here at any minute now.” Neal, give Emma some notice! A text, at least! -”This town is turning into a theme park.” I’m about 1,000,000% sure no one who runs a Disney park is reading my cute little web reviews, but if you are, PLEASE make Storybrooke a theme park or even just a street in Disney World (And then get me free tickets as a thank you for the idea!) -I can NEVER hear Jennifer say “where I’m/you’re from” again without thinking about that fucking blooper! XD -”She’s bringing bagels.” To be honest, I’d be sold here too. New York bagels are objectively the best and I pity every one of you who has never had one. You poor souls! -Mary Margaret: Keeper of the best coping mechanism EVER since 2013 (?) -*August shows up* I’ve heard of Woodsman in this series, but this is ridiculous! -*August fucking stabs himself with a scalpel and is chased* What the fuck did you expect to happen?! -*August gets pulled into the supply closet* August was ready to throw down! And look at his hands. Is that cultural appropriation or did he actually learn how to fight in Phuket? -August is so well sanded! Either Gepetto didn’t get paid NEARLY enough or August did some grooming! -August ships SwanFire! Who knew? ...Besides everyone who paid more attention than me during the original airing of the episode, that is? XD -Tamara brought the fucking goods! Your revealed villainy aside, you’re a fucking champ! No wonder I liked you! -Awww! Henry let Neal keep the book! <3 -Btw, WHERE THE FUCK IS RUMPLE? Unghh. One thing I wish we had more of this season was more Papa Fire moments. I mean, the guy just got his son back AND avoided death. I feel like he should be knocking on Neal’s door every day to talk to him and his absence at this point is really noticeable. I know we see them together in the next episode, but it’s not enough. Yes, Neal still holds a lot of resentment, but in the last scene they were together, they had a moment of kindness and Rumple’s the type to jump on that like a toddler on a trampoline! -Tamara, I know you’re acting, but you’re giving a 10 and you need to pull that back to a 6. Hell, precisely BECAUSE you’re acting, you should pull it back just a touch! -”I have a soft spot for little kids in trouble.” Awwww! </3 -”If I were you, I’d try the fish -- blackened soul.” That was a fucking good one liner! -Damn, Tamara! Give you some ominous music and a glare and suddenly, out goes the cuddly and in goes the scary! -Dragon, don’t dodge the question! Goddd, don’t be one of those annoying types of mysterious characters!! -”Because what he was is what he is.” Blue! THIS is why everyone thinks you’re shady! -Tamara. Do not pull out the giant envelope of cash in public, and then LEAVE it out! Look, I love August, but he’s about as shady as the underside of the branches he was carved out of! -”For someone who spent his entire life running, you should be in better shape.” XD Great quip, Dragon! -”Are you two trying to steal the magic from Storybrooke?” How did you reach that conclusion? I mean, I get that Tamara’s shadier right now than weeping willow by the equator at high noon, but there’s a jump in logic here that I’m missing. Like, as far as you know, she likes magic. She cured her cancer with it! It makes sense when August finds out the truth, but it would only work when he discovers it. -Regina, who the hockey sticks do you think you’re fooling by playing dumb?! -”Mary Margaret. What are you doing? He’s apologizing.” Emma, he literally just told your mother that the thing she’s spent so much time blaming herself for (Possibly from the moment you were born) was orchestrated by him. She’s allowed to be angry. I feel like both you and I would have a harsher reaction if we were in her shoes! -”That wasn’t me.” Jesus, people! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY! YOUR LACK OF ANGER IS MAKING ME ANGRY! I mean, I get that Snow knows she would’ve done the same thing, but she didn’t. Marco did, and that condemnation for it was well warranted. -I DO like how responsible Marco’s being for his actions and the effect that it had on August. That was SO needed! -OMG! THE TASER!!! XD -Damn, I wish we saw what The Dragon’s real form was. -Tamara, you’re a sneaky little asshole, but damnit you have a nice car. -The CGI for this episode must’ve eaten the budget like a kid eats a happy meal. -How the fuck did the Blue Fairy get there so quickly! Hell, maybe you ARE shady! -I actually like that we see that selfish side of Neal in the last flashback. It shows both how the world has changed him AND how the Stiltskin’ cowardice curse has left some bits in him as well. -Tamara! I’m supposed to hate you! Stop being so snuggly! -”I promise I will never lie to you again.” ...I’m sorry, Emma. I’ve gotta do it. *deep breath* Suuuuuuuuuuure, Emma. -”It had started to blacken because of what I did.” ...I guess I’m supposed to believe that she redeemed herself after the Maleficent stuff. -”But it [redemption] cost him [August] everything.” Yeahhh...no. He seriously went from what was probably a pretty miserable life to a fresh start. -I kind of wish Greg and Tamara ended up being recurring villains. We’d get the villain ship I always wanted and they could be curb stomped all the time! XD Arcs - How are These Storylines Progressing? Tamara - Tamara’s shown up! I actually love her first episode as a villain. Yeah, the taser is corny, but if that puts you over the top, then I have to ask just what show you’re watching! But onto the character herself, she’s incredibly intelligent with how she deals with people. Within ten seconds of seeing Neal, she knows how to play him like a fiddle and her time with August in the present shows the insight she’s gained about him in their one encounter. Hell, she sort of won the day, and all without using a hint of magic! Emma lying to Henry - Finally! This arc is over! I gotta say, this was a hard (Albeit well done) arc to watch. It’s never easy seeing your favorite character get antagonized, no matter how justly. That having been said, as there was no reference to the lie before Emma brought it up right before the final apology, I can’t help but wish that it was either brought up once more in this episode or done in the last episode where it had more thematic prominence. Favorite Dynamic Snow and Emma. As I pointed out in my “Insights,” Emma’s motivational speech to David and heard indirectly by Snow is the thing that bounces her back to life and that sentiment carries Snow throughout the rest of the episode. It’s such a small moment but it speaks so well of the bond that the two of them have built up over the seasons. I like the way that Emma inspires Snow, of ony for how funny it is to see her listen to “My Reputation” while shooting arrows for stress relief. And suddenly, the toaster scene makes so much sense... Writer Kalinda Vazquez and Robert Hull are here for their swan song of the season (Try saying THAT five times fast!) and they both do a pretty decent job here. The dialogue, story, and character choices fit well, and while there were some aspects I wish were handled better, they did an amicable job. Rating 8/10. Once again, I don’t find that there was a lot to say about this episode, but it was quite a good one! It was an entertaining watch with a nice new setting for the flashback, and characters that fit together to convey a great story! I found it to be pretty funny at times and it got me excited about what’s to come! And can you really ask for more out of an episode? ...Well, yeah, but it’s good enough! XD ()()()()()()()()() Thank you so much for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales. Sorry this wasn’t a super long or in-depth review, but I can only work with what I’m given. Anyway, if it’s not too much trouble before you go, I’d like to ask you for a little help! A couple of days ago, it was announced that the finale won’t be broken up for the final week of the Season 2 posts, and I want to know if you want me to do two separate reviews, or one mega-ultra-super-chocolatey-magical-sugar-spice-and-everything-nice review! It will be a LONG review, but if you think that these two episodes beLONG together, please let me know so I’ll know what to do when the time comes! You can leave a reply here or send me an ask or send me your thoughts by carrier pigeon. Really, it’s all good!

Next time...whoo. My cotton shirt is making me soooo hot! I’m going to change into something...lacey. ;)

See you all then.

Season 2 Tally (157/220) Writer Tally for Season 2: Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis: (39/60) Jane Espenson (35/50) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (31/50) David Goodman (24/30)* Robert Hull (24/30)* Christine Boylan (17/30) Kalinda Vazquez (28/30)* Daniel Thomsen (18/20)* * Indicates that their work for the season is complete Operation Rewatch Archives