#so .. idk? i just know i have rly bad delusions but i also want to open a bakery with elaine

[servantofwrath]

tbh i support reality shifting but i dont want to try it cause im worried it'll make my delusions worse, also i'm not a huge fan of harry potter and i dont know if any of the people into shifting who could help me with it would know how to enter the tower or w/e

[jinkicake]

BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

[mklt]

Just random thoughts about mikami and light 

it’s kinda long and so messy -w-

idk how to write long post on tumblr with good layout lol i got burnout from irl problems rly bad and it's already 3.30am here ;w; 

(mostly from my random threads on twitter (hence the weird formatting) and i try to tl-ed from my main language to english (with the help of google translation lol)

These are just my imagination and maybe personal preference (?) please don’t take it personally

Thread 1: 17th march 2022

this is so random but when i re-read death note manga again i can’t get rly emotional with mikami’s backstory i wonder why? Is it because I'm so weak seeing a kid being bullied? I don’t really like looking at child being abused too haha (but i remember someone said mikami’s backstory is like redditor sobstory WWWWWWWWWW sorry 

i don't know but i'm so weak with characters who have been bullied alskdal like im sad i don't want to see a little kid being bullied :(((((((((( let's focus on him (mikami) bein a kira simp

just the idea of ​​him trying to open up with light about his mom and his sad past is a bit painful for me aksdjaskl and i don't have any idea for light’s response too.. :( maybe mikami looks indifferent when he tried to explain it surely mikami said “that's why i'm thankful there's Kira” ? (i’m not rly sure about this)

but light is like  (??? at that time, there is not kira yet) so i think it continues to be like a one-sided delusion from mikami wwwww

hmm, even if they won, I think Light will randomly get quiet when he becomes tired from work (kira work??) (daydreaming?) and then suddenly when asked why by mikami, he randomly blurts "it’s my late father’s bday today" What will you respond???????? alsdkal it seems like this could be the time where Mikami starts to talk about his mother too?

i dunno but if it's mikalight au I think Light actually wants to say he misses his father but he doesn't want to say that he misses and loves his father (so much) idk?? maybe he doesn't want to look vulnerable in front of mikami because he still has to act to be a strong role model for mikami

It's so hard for me to imagine them just blissfully being happy, i definitely remember this and the emotional baggage sucks Moreover, when people who like to write about light who still can't move on about L Gosh thinking about it is really heavy haha

i dunno but in my headcanon for my kira wins au light is reluctant to meet with sachiko/sayu because it seems like he still can't move on with soichiro’s dead (and because he doesn't have the heart to see sayu who’s still recovering from trauma) that’s why he likes to find reasons so he can't go home

i’m not trying to justify that light is a SaD boi But to me, the only redeeming quality about him is  he really loves his family so much (www luv u light So I like to imagine him hating himself because of his father’s death. But he likes to think that my father died like this because I have to sacrifice for a more peaceful world That's why when his father died, light is really conflicted

but light bein light I'm sure he'll change his mindset after that “my father is not good because he doesn't believe kira, he is a good person but he’s not on Kira's side” (which in his heart he is still very hurt thinkin about soichiro)

Thread 2 : 8th February 2022

... I'm looking for drawing ref, then reread DN again and again (yes I know— It’s kinda endearing when mikami in front of ppl he looks so cold and mean but if with God His demeanor is like that >>>>

not uwu but like its funny… he's scawy–! Suddenly he’s become kinda nervous? Less hostile?? Hm but  i also think that when he finds out Light is a False God maybe he explodes and got mad-! btoom! And i was like oh yea thats our mkm alright haha

idk maybe i'm just making an excuse but from the manga’s scenes mk/lt is like.. master/disciple but not as maniac in anime? I really like when the disciple, who's scary outside but he's obsessed with his master! Maybe he will become a softie?!! I like the silent yandere type! And i think i f they have an argument mikami won't be hysterical or something >_>

Even if they had direct contact (not by takada) Light will tell mikami (about mikami killing lazy people) "I don't like how you do things stop it." then maybe mikami looks a bit shocked and i think ofc he will say my bad- LOL but i'm also sure he's the type who asked for an explanation why because he's not that stupid ahaha im sad

Even if it's been explained, I'm sure Light will complain directly to mikami "I don't believe you can still ask me back."

Thread 3 : 9th march 2022 (AU)

If mkm and light live together, does light live in kyoto or mkm in tokyo? But when you think about canon it means they are in long distance relationship :0

Yes, but if the train is 2 hours fast, just the idea of ​​them being willing to live alone is a bit complicated??

I think if Mikami’s position is high enough-- he can go to Tokyo and pretend to visit Light at the NPA office (then when he arrived Lighto isn't there (..........)

Because lighto is busy? And because of his work is that he is more in a private room (because he is more into intelligence / hacking role etc.)

Maybe Mikami can go to Tokyo because there is a case that he should discuss with the police (¿) if the case is serious enough hooho

Maybe they will meet at the rooftop (?) Mikami eats alone ? but maybe his assistants from kyoto office tag along too) then Light just finished with the other team. But mikami can only stare at light because they don't want to be exposed if they are acquaintances (bc for identity of Kira)

Jabsjadsbsh what if someone is trying to introduce them ?? Mikami and Lighto pretending to “get to know better

when they shake hands… Mikami held Lighto's hand tighter and maybe light playing with his finger on Mikami's wrist (trying to be subtle-subtle---) "Nice to meet you– Teru-san" “Nice to meet you,”

[bwinkbear]

my hcs r dumb but here we fuckin gO

-nor plays acoustic guitar as a hobby. when he and fin go camping, they sit in front of the fire under a blanket and nor quietly strums his guitar n hums to fin. fin’s got his head on his shoulder. private moment of softness n vulnerability.

-as kids theyd pretend to go fishing in tiny bodies of water that clearly had No Fish, like puddles n shit, w sticks from the backyard that had string tied to them, and theyd take themselves Very Seriously, like theyd hang out there for hours, and if one of their moms appeared behind them fin would b like “sTOP ITTTT ur scaring the fish :(((”

-also as kids theyd try to “ice skate” w no skates on frozen ponds. theyve both fallen in at least once.

-as adults. idk if i stole this from you i mightve, but fin cuts nor’s hair for him.

-just the idea of them takin care of iceland even when they rly dont necessarily have to. showing up at his house bc he seemed sad on the phone. bringing him snacks bc they heard on the news theres gonna be a snowstorm. just little things bc theyre thinking about him. (ofc this also leads to chaos sometimes. they try to cut his grass for him when hes away but they dont know how to use his lawnmower n they end up taking down an entire tree. shit like that.)

-nor clinging to fin when hes had a bad day. end hc.

-they sing dumb karaoke together. u can decide if theyre drunk or sober.

-thing that landed in my brainrot just now as im typing this but could u imagine them having a date at a roller rink

-they go to college together and theyre roommates and tjey have cats and theyre gay and and

no hcs are dumb unless theyre abt aph denmark.

norfincampingnorfincampingnorfincamping hnghnghhnghm. it's strange but i struggle to visualize nor playing that kind of instrument, though i still take him as the musical type... think it's because i usually pin den as the guitarist but ig thats by law a Dumb take so nor playin it is very nice 😌😌. v warm concept 10/10 u fuckin bet fin provoked him to start playing it right then.

they would be very dumb kids together,, i see nor knowing all abt the local fish n rlly wanting to find them n hyping the idea up to fin for extra help bcos he just wants to find them so so bad. nor with a fish fixation is the cutest thing to me and the concept is starting to grow on me AAA

god damnit youre just making me want more childhood norfin fics. o, to recreate fin Drowning from hetalian horror show into fanon... but yes they definitely got up to all kinds of shit like this, being children raised in an Expansive Nature. feel like at least one of them would always have a twisted ankle or some shit from getting caught up in their play.

yes fin cuts nors hair bECAUSE HE CUTS ICES HAIR AND ICE LOOKS JUST LIKE NOR SO UNLESS FINS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE TO BE A FUCKING PRICK (and i guess i will give benefit of the doubt) THEN THEYRE PROBABLY GOING TO THE SAME PERSON FOR THIS,,, ive been craving reading some soft ass fic of fin greeting his partner after a long day of work or them returning from a storm or something and like cleaning them up n cutting their hair n giving them the comfort they desperately needed after that long-ass day... that for norfin? HMG. might pocket this concept for norfin week dont @ me.

nor is already so protective and annoying to iceland, highkey he might worry about him more than himself because he doesnt want ice to go through the same hardships he has 😩. fin probably wouldnt get on the same level as him, not having that same brotherly instinct or anything, but thats not to say nors delusions dont rub off on him or anything. "we have to check on ice, he cant handle volcano eruptions well he gets bad anxiety." and they both fly up there quick as can be to see ice leaping over streams of lava with hong kong for fun. and suddenly, norfin are the ones with anxiety about it. :)

clingy nor clingy nor clingy nor he would never admit it but it is So obvious. they could even be standing next to each other at a meeting and nor just quietly leans into him when he feels shy or overwhelmed. hes in good hands.

lol oh no. i feel like nors the type to quietly sing to himself when hes busy and if fin happens to recognize what hes singing he'll join in and then its just a thing. 😭 though i can definitely see this being a thing with all the nordics (besides the kids ofc)... as for organized karaoke i can see this being more fins thing than nor, despite nor having the better voice for it 🙈 its always the ones that want to sing that cant lol

ok a roller rink date someone would definitely twist their ankle. fin. fin would. he has 2 left feet. nors like hmmmm its easyyyy and fins like hahahah right, holding onto the rails n shit. he lets go for 3 seconds and... rip in peace.

idk that last one sounds kinda gay idk if jesus would approve

[catcze]

ooo more lore !! i don't usually use the wiki, i just look through items myself & i don't have those so i wasn't aware :0 wait watch me go on a wiki dive all night now adkhskdhfk. i do have a bit of a theory tho!

2.1 archon quest spoilers //

ok i'm probably gonna look like a clown when i'm proven wrong, but part of me kinda doubts signora's actually dead?? like, she seemed like a pretty major character, and it was so sudden. i know keeping her alive would undercut ei's power, but to be fair she hasn't had the gnosis for awhile, so the musou no hitotachi might not be as strong as it was when she slew orobashi, for example.

at the end, signora didn't use her vision(?) or delusion, opting to reach for ei's gnosis (that's what it looked like to me idk). which makes me think - if she wasn't using her pyro, why did she disintegrate to embers & ash instead of something more indicative of the lightning that killed her? i suppose it could just be a visual reference to how her body is made of liquid flame, but mayyyybe she did activate her pyro abilities at the last second to escape, and that's why her 'death' looked the way it did.

during the battle she seemed to be able to move pretty quickly in a pyro form of sorts, so what if she kinda.. dissolved into embers and disappeared of her own will? maybe she timed it right, or maybe she was hit by the musou no hitotachi - she is based on moths i think which have a sort of cycle of rebirth, and she did enter an ice chrysalis(?) mid-fight. so what if she's recuperating elsewhere in stasis like that, only to be 'reborn' later on in the game? many thoughts rn,,

idk, i'm sure i'm missing some points here, and i'm not rly convinced one way or another myself - i just think it would be cool if we saw more of her somehow hehe. as much as i love the whole 'mc befriends former bad guys they defeat' trope, it was refreshing to see a villain like her imo!

and yess, i've loved watching traveler grow more impatient & testy as the story progresses. altho the scene after signora's fight was.. a bit anticlimactic with my seelie dancing behind me lmao?? everything was dark & glitchy, traveler's silent, paimon's recounting the gruesome tale, and there's mr. bubblegum- "ubwbelbebrbeweb <3" doing flips in the background kdhfkhfsdkf - 🐺

GENSHIN SPOILERS

I mean, it's a possibility ! After all, genshin is supposed to go on for 7+ (10?) years, so any sorts of twists and turns are definitely probably down the line. There were also some leaks a few months ago that,,, kind of ? support this theory, if you squint.

But! Regarding what you said about her reaching for the gnosis, I'm afraid that's not quite possible, since it later gets revealed that it was with Yae, and then later traded to Scaramouche.

But yes!! I deffo do think it's plausible (maybe even possible, if more evidence surfaces over time and with more lore reveals) that she could have dodged a hit. It would be interesting to have that kind of twist to the story, but I do kind of agree that it,,, does put a damper on the Shogun's strong image ? Idk and I feel like some people might consider it a 'cheap' twist, espescially considering the heaviness that befell the traveller (maybe guilt ?? idk, that's how i personally interpret it) during that sort of slow, dark walk out of Tenshukaku. Not to mention how I think that seeing Signora die directly or indirectly because of the traveller's actions is something that I'm interested to see in the future, regarding on how this knowledge might change the travellers attitude towards others, if it'll push them to be more ruthless, or if it would make them a bit more hesitant to fight after they've seen a strong foe like Signora die because of losing the duel to them.

And in a way,,, i don't know, and this is kind of opinionated, but I feel like killing Signora then reviving her would,,, be somewhat unsatisfying ? Because,,, it kinda feels like Genshin is going down a slightly different path now. It's grown a bit heavier and darker with the occurrence of its first on-screen death (and major off-screen death w/ Teppei) and i feel like turning around in the future and saying 'oh! actually this character isn't dead' feels too much like a 'take-back' or like they're backing out of that darker theme, which feels a bit unsatisfactory given that he archon quest has begun to push that sort of narrative, and it's an interesting route to go, considering we've seen the heaviness that meeting their sibling that has (presumably) pushed the sibling into being more direct in wanting to complete their mission (in how, at first, they just wanted to see the shogun, and not get wrapped up in the whole resistance thing) and how angry they got when Teppei died. Personally, 'taking back' something as big as the first character who the traveller is indirectly/directly responsible for killing feels,,, very much like they're just pandering to younger audiences, and i feel like it would be a cheap twist or a disservice to the heaviness that befell the traveller after the fight itself.

but idk thats just my opinion lmao,, wanting her to revive is valid too!! And i deffo agree that is was sooo refreshing to see a villain that was,,, wel, a villain. One without any highlighted redeeming qualities. One that's just bad. It was nice hahha

ALSO PLS THE SEELIE ASKJDN I love the name you've given him HAHAHA <33 also !! hope u enjoyed the lore dive, if you've done it. I mostly stick to the wiki instead of the game, since like you can open links in the paragraph instead of having to rifle through all the stuff in the game HAHHA

[cupofkey]

hetalia characters as major arcana! (part 3)

back on my bullshit!! here’s the final part. please feel free to chat with me about these, I would love to hear what you think :)

part 1 part 2

XV The Devil: Belarus.

I love Belarus she is wonderful and a spicy character! the Devil is a really interesting card bc it’s... also spicy lol. it concerns the subconscious, attachments, desires, restrictions, even sexuality/attraction, and I’m sure you can see how that connects to canon Belarus. I find her lack of desire for temporal/spatial awareness really interesting, it definitely has similar Cursed Energy to the Devil and toys with those themes of attachment, along with being something that restricts her. it’s also interesting how she’s interested in the occult since this card tends to have the most occult symbolism in the deck? anyways she definitely has her own demons and her own choices to make (outside of doing whatever makes her feel anything beyond crushing ennui.) [a very interesting card. I’m alright with Russia for this one (he and his sister seem to be the most popular choice by far) but I honestly think it’s very hard to assign to any fictional character. just one of those cards that’s Really out there]

XVI The Tower: Poland.

alright so I gotta say I love this matchup. the Tower is about massive upheaval, turmoil, awakening, and rebuilding, something that’s SO perfect for Poland the “phoenix”. historically and canonically he’s endured so much, especially when it comes to his relationships w other countries, but he’s also extremely resilient. he’s super stubborn and has rebuilt himself time and time again after complete collapse. idk Poland just has SUCH an energy and so much gumption, it’s very in line with the aggressiveness of the Tower? it’s not always a bad card but it’s definitely a very strong one. pulling the Tower (upright or inverted) will ALWAYS mean something big. [another one where I’m not sure the meaning is really understood? I appreciate the Baltics/Finland for this one but other than that idk. I feel it needs a very very strong vibe to make sense, whether it’s in a positive or negative way, and the character needs to have really been dragged through hell and back.]

XVII The Star: Finland.

another fav of mine!! this is such a bright and hopeful card, I always love pulling it in a reading. it’s about openness, hope, rebirth... very good stuff. Finland is another character who’s endured a lot of hardships but has also really grown into himself? it’s quite an optimistic and faithful card which I feel aligns well with Finland’s demeanor and outlook, along with the outcomes of his historical relationship with the rest of the Nordics. the Star comes after the Tower for a reason; it’s the brightest light after the darkest hour, the biggest growth after the worst setbacks... I mean he got annexed and conquered and passed around as an underling, and now hes just vibing, working hard and making weird festivals. king shit [I like a lot of interpretations of this card. any character who embodies hope, renewal, growth... Liechtenstein is another character I really like for this one because of the positive changes in her life!]

XVIII The Moon: S. Italy.

hmm here’s a fun one. the Moon is a very ambiguous card; it’s about illusion, indecision, anxiety, and the in-between, something I think Romano just perfectly shows. he has a lot of internal conflict and issues with parts of himself/his family, along with not being a True Nation. I also feel he has a lot of personal fears and delusions about his role in the world and his history? like his viewpoint on everything is super warped. idk it’s very Duality Of Man. he’s self isolating but craves attention, he’s loudmouthed but cowardly, he just... has a lot going on lol. the Moon is often a sign to reexamine your surroundings and to wait for more clarity, both things that I feel Romano rly needs. [the Moon isn’t exactly 100% mysterious or cryptic, just... more like incredibly anxious and unsure. my other pick is Iceland for similar reasons, and I’m honestly not sure if any other characters really mesh with the card in the way these two do.]

XIX The Sun: Spain.

Spain is the only character people ever choose for the Sun and you know what? yall are absolutely correct. it’s a card that’s very much about exuberance, new energy, positivity, optimism, fun, etc. and its default imagery involves a child. like it’s very much Spain’s energy?? I mean he’s literally sunny, it just makes sense. the Sun is interesting because it can also mean a joy in the face of hardship, which is 1000% Spain in a historical context, and it has a passionate energy that insists My Way Or The Highway (which is SUPER Spain). he literally couldn’t care less, he’s just tryna vibe and enjoy himself ya know? exactly in line with the Sun’s message of pursuing what you want with full energy. [if I had to pick someone else, N. Italy works too, maybe even America, but idk I feel Spain has such good vibes it’s perfect for this. also the Spain/Romano Sun/Moon duality is kind of iconic]

XX Judgment: Sweden.

this is another card where assigning it to a character is a bit tricky, so I’ve chosen Sweden for some reasons I’ll lay out here. firstly, Judgment is a very conceptual card, evoking both the “last judgment” and determination within choice. basically it indicates a decision that’s almost/already been made after doing some self-evaluation? Sweden imo aligns with this because of his steely nature and decisiveness; he sticks to the choices he makes, he believes in them wholeheartedly, and he doesn’t budge or concede (see: the Kalmar Union, his relationship with Finland, his relationship with Denmark.) this gets mixed up with Justice often, but where Justice is about truth Judgment is a blend of intuition and logic. it’s significantly more emotional (which I feel also fits Sweden well, because he’s a pretty emotional guy.) [I usually find myself confused with who people put here lol. honestly I’d say this is one of the most misunderstood major arcana alongside Death? and I honestly don’t know who I’d pick other than Sweden for this... let me know though]

XXI The World: France.

in my opinion this is the “best” card to pull in the deck!! it ties back to the Fool in that it also has elements of enjoying life 100% and celebrating your successes. I feel France has a very celebratory vibe to begin with (celebrating himself and art and all that) and that plus this card’s “old man looking over his accomplishments” energy... idk it just feels very France to me. he’s done so so much historically and he’s old as fuck, and now he’s just leaning back and relaxing and going to museums, enjoying himself and the fruits of his labors. he’s also very worldly (no pun intended) which ties into the World’s themes of travel/knowledge. [I think any character chosen for this card needs to really be “settled down” to mesh with it. for me, other possibilities include Spain and Finland, but I think France embodies both fast-paced successes and a slower acceptance of life very well. and I mean he’s one of the world’s cultural capitals, his influence is massive.]

anyways that was my Hetalia tarot ramble I would love to talk about this more! anyone hmu if you ever want to ask/talk about tarot :)

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 13: “I Need To Make Moves Here And This Is A Big One” - Mikey

JENNET

guilt tripping everybody that voted out sammy bc that was such a weird move and shows how weak everyone really is. idk it made 0 difference to me, i honestly could care less about this round. if i get immunity, mikey is playing the idol on himself if he gets immunity im getting the idol so it really does not matter

JESSICA

Woo the plan worked and Sammy is gone! He seemed sad because he said he wanted to stick with me but his actions didn't really align with that. My goal is still to get Jennet and Jones out. I feel bad because Jennet is now in a position where they’ve been targeted every round of merge and a lot of that is for little to no reason. I don't really know why Lovelis tried to vote for them, or why their name came up when Daisy left, and the round Sam went home I only said their name to try and protect Lindsay. And last round their name was a decoy.... but still! They have been through a lot and I feel bad. But unfortunately because of this, they are definitely winning if they make the end. They haven’t betrayed a lot of the jury, they now have this great underdog story if they make it, and their whole game is about loyalty and honesty and all that stuff betrayed jurors jut love to vote for. Which I will say.......... it's easy to be loyal and honest when you don't align or overly strategize with half the team. It also leaves you super vulnerable to being a target sooooo I feel bad but I also feel like that's the reality of blocking yourself off to so many people. Since Sam is sadly gone, my new ideal final 5 is Lindsay, Shane, Mikey, and Jake. That will get awkward because I feel like it'll fall into 2 vs 2 and they'll all expect me to stick with them. That would be the downside to my strategy of "align with everyone and make everyone feel like you're their option" buuuut I think I'm saved by the fact that asides Jennet, I feel I can beat everyone left at the end. I don't think it's a guarantee; I'll definitely have to do a good FTC. But Shane and Lindsay have really bad social games -- Shane fights with everyone and betrays close allies for no reason and Lindsay apparently doesn't even talk to half the people left. Yesterday, Jake and Mikey both said they thought Shane would win at the end because "he's made so many moves!!!" which is ummmm not very feminist because I think everyone credits him with doing a lot more in the Daisy vote than he actually did. I feel very much like the Natalie White of this season because my relationships are really what is holding everything together. I just have to be careful that people don't see me as keeping Shane around when he's an obvious threat because that could definitely damage my chances of winning. However.... there is something that could upset that f5 and that is if this round, Jones/Mikey/Jake/Jennet all want to vote out Shane or Lindsay (again). I'm not actually that opposed to this happening because it would be very useful for me to have a close ally on jury to tell them what I did. It would also mean I don't really have to "decide" who to pick at f5 but I would still be relatively protected. However I also worry that if Jennet gets through even one more round, Mikey, Jones, and maybe even Jake will just refuse to vote them out like they did before. Mikey admitted to me he knows Jennet will win at the end but if he feels like he has no shot, he might just keep them around because they're close and that is not a great sign for me! I guess we'll see what happens with immunity. Also go me for being the last person left with no votes against them :~)

JENNET

something about a white man yelling over me last night when it was my turn to speak doesnt sit right with me... i dont want to make it a race thing or a “gender” thing but .... idk its kinda taken me out of the game i dont even feel like campaigning to stay tbh...

(a little later)

soon as shane won immunity here go jessica pming me saying she hates that he won... pls that is ur ally u love the fact that he won... just admit it tired of these people playing in my face but i dont wanna play into that role that i know i fall into fairly quick

(after taking a beach stroll)

this may be my last week i fear 🕴🏾

(after taking the camera and running into the woods)

jess must think im a fool every round she “leaks” info to me and then she does the complete opposite of what she says she will. im sorry its pathetic at least this round she told me shes voting me pero its like now shes asking me if i have any alternatives that i can convince her into doing and im like... girl its one of my allies and like 5 of urs left dont play me like im some dummy .... so that u can tell them im pushing for them and give more reason for them to want me out? she not getting my jury vote for sure

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-4Q_LE3wnSM_Pi3HAmSvuoCVrNzX_dTn

LINDSAY

jennet is the target. if they have an idol i will probably go home. i have crippling anxiety 🤩 im sorry thisbis so short there's not much to report on. there was a miscommunication between everyone that mikey caused but nothing rly came of it. im just you know how sometimes when youre abt to fall bur you catch yourself your stomach does thise little flips? thats me for the past hour. i have a bad feeling abt this, but i also have crippling anxiety so shocker

JESSICA

me yesterday: If Lindsay or Shane got 7th, I wouldn't be sad! me now: ummmmmmmmm no stop being silly Anyways we are all voting Jennet as of right now. I told Mikey that we were splitting votes on him and Jennet potentially (so that I could get Mikey to vote Jennet, meaning Shane or Lindsay could throw 1 vote on Mikey in the event of an idol) but then Mikey went and told everyone I said that??? Which was a weird move, I don't know if he was hoping it would blow up on me but I just admitted to everyone what my strategy was. Now it seems like they just don't trust Mikey. Which is useful for next round, if I can make it there. I also told Shane and Jake that Mikey asked me if they were threats and I'd said yes. I told Shane and Jake this so that in the event Mikey went to them, they'd already have a heads up and wouldn't be suspicious (because Mikey leaks almost everything and I felt like that would definitely happen). I also accidentally implied to Jake that Shane was targeting him?? Not really sure how that happened but there was this weird temporary blowup where Jake went to Mikey and Shane and said he heard they were saying his name. Obviously I was NOT excited for this because I was worried it would come back against me instantly so I tried to smooth things over with Shane and Jake + told Mikey it's not cute to leak info! I'm hoping that the three of them are pointing their daggers at each other and haven't turned on me but it was definitely scary for a minute. I also told Mikey Shane originally wanted Jake to go when Daisy left AND that I thought Shane/Lindsay would vote Jake out next. I can explain both of these away pretty easily to Jake (1. That vote was a long time ago and he only wanted to do it because Jake was saying Lindsay and 2. I was just saying they'd vote him out next to make Mikey comfortable) but he isn't online to give me the chance to do it and I don't want to bombard him with messages. But here's where I am 2 hours before we vote...... I'm ultra paranoid Jennet has an idol. And she knows she's going tonight. Everyone was like "don't tell her she's leaving!" and I was like???? She knows?? I'm not wasting her time pretending like I'm not considering voting for her. So now....... should me, Shane, Lindsay just vote out Mikey (or Jake?) instead? I'm hesitant to bring this plan up to anyone for a few reasons: - None of these people can keep a damn secret!! - If we flip and Mikey does vote Jennet (and there's no idol), it will be 3-3-1. Really not liking that - I don't thiiiiink Jennet would idol me out if they were to idol anyone. I'm afraid to bet on this too heavily but I really, reaaaaally hope because I'm being honest with them this round, they would see me as someone who would maybe work with them at f6/f5 (as opposed to Jake, who has lied to them and Jones who flipped last round, and Lindsay who she says she wants out). I originally!!! Thought that Mikey would never vote for me but I'm honestly not sure after today - Jake is completely MIA today, same with Jones. Jake SHOULD trust me since I've warned him whenever I've heard his name but I'm worried after the shenanigans of earlier + him not responding that he's now sketched out by me - I don't want Jennet in the f6 (sorry Jennet!) because I think if we lie to the others about who we vote, they are more likely to go to rocks for them if we vote them next time. Like right now, Mikey is not going to a rock for Jake (or vice versa) but I think both would do it for Jennet if they felt they were their only path to the end. If people go to rocks for Jennet like we might as well all pack it in now and let them win because that just shows!! How good their relationships are. The reason I'd want to switch the plan is because if Jennet has an idol,  they are absolutely playing it tonight. If they don’t have it, they don’t have it, but that means Jake or Mikey could. So like.... why not do a fake out and have a higher chance of getting the merge idol out of here? Plus if Jennet doesn't play it tonight, we can vote them tomorrow with much more ease. I'm worried people are too aware that I'm really moving things behind the scenes and are going to come for me this round. Here's where I'm hoping my strategy of be everyone's BFF / an option for everyone will help me out -- Lindsay is a bigger threat than me and has done a lot less of that work so in the event Jake and Jones DO decide to turn..... I think they'd vote for her over me. But that's not really ideal because going into a F6 with only 2/3 of my end game trio is not the look! Despite what I delusion-ly thought yesterday!

JONES

fukjlkjdsflakjsdalfskdfja i have a rlly bad gut feeling i'm going home bc its like ,, , too quiet and too straight forward, i think jessica should be going this round ? either she'll be idoled out or voted out 4-3 ya feel,, i'm just ,, my stomach hurts i need jessica to get voted out she's like ,, my only competitor in terms of gameplay style >? ya feel ? i'm not excited for whatever happens after tribal,, so maybe i throw up, maybe i get voted out , either way i'm free

JAKE

Yeah so that last move was a mistake lmaooo I thought Mikey and Jennet were tighter with Sammy than they actually were 😬 so now I’m just trying to regroup from that. Seems like Jennet is the target but I feel terrible voting her out so I’m sort of at a loss. I also don’t want Mikey to be left out again so just trying to figure out what’s best for me eek 🥺

MIKEY

OK SO. Me Jake and Jennet are voting jessica, jones is voting jennet and Im gonna play my idol on jennet. I need to make moves here and this is a big one. Sorry JESSICA!