#so all i've done these past months is sink further and further into a sadness and emptiness and pain i can't describe

[poppies]

2023 was the worst year of my life. not sure what's to come or where to start but i know things have to change, i have to fix things somehow

[droogiesanddiscourse]

"Love Streams"

Pairing: Michael Corleone x Reader [The Godfather]

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: Michael catches you feeling low after he hasn’t been paying much attention to you lately, and decides to comfort you to the best of his ability by telling you the story of how he fell in love with you in the first place.

A/N: No warnings, just sad. My muse for Michael Corleone has been especially high this week, so I've been really diving into more fics/requests that have been in my inbox. Also, Sonny being a good chaotic big brother!! Enjoy! <3

He promised. Tonight was date night, after weeks of cancelling and dismissive behavior from Michael, everything would change tonight. Something just for the two of you.

He promised. Yet promises always were made to be broken.

A phone call around 7pm confirmed these too-good-to-be-true expectations. Another cancellation. One of many just within the past month. You hid your rage silently with a simple “okay,” and other one-worded answers as he begged forgiveness on the other end of the line.

You insisted it was fine. It wasn’t. You and Michael both knew that.

It continues with a gentle rasp on the door, finally around 10pm, the ever-so gentleman making sure you were decent before entering the bedroom. You dab at your eyes with a tissue to no avail, your tears threatening to become a sea. If you weren’t careful, you were going to drown in them. You refused to answer him.

You hear Michael shuffle nervously outside the door. He gently pushes open the door even with your lack of response, peering into the bedroom. He’s greeted with a heartbreaking sight—you’re curled up in your bed. Tissues surrounded you like a chalk outline of a body at a crime scene.Your eyes were worn out and puffy, showing no attempt to hide your tears as you lift your head up to look at him. After realizing It's no use, your head feeling full of cement dropped back into the mountain of pillows underneath you.

Michael's face is solemn, his big dark eyes searching for yours. You hurt. A hurt that penetrates the soul, sinking its claws into your heart. A hurt that couldn’t be cured by simple bandages or medicine.

You finally opened your mouth, a warbled attempt at words muffled between quiet sobs and tears rolling down your cheeks. It exhaled from your mouth like a simple breath, one that was almost barely audible as your face pressed further into the pillow.

“Do you even still love me?”

Those five words sent a shockwave through his heart, feeling his blood run ice cold. There’s a strong pang of guilt deep in his chest. He knew this was his fault.

Your makeup was already cried off, and left black tracts down your cheeks. You threw an arm haphazardly across your eyes, shielding you from the worried view of your lover. You hated how you looked and couldn't bear to stand the thought of Michael seeing you in such a disheveled state. You couldn’t bare to see Michael either.

“Why would you ever ask something like that?” Michael’s voice the only thing audible overlaying your quiet, pathetic sniffles. Now making his way closer to you and sits on the corner of the bed, he still faces away from you, attempting to hide the own tears in his eyes.

He looks down to his hands, opening them and splaying his fingers apart, inspecting the worn-out flesh of his palms. His actions were done almost as if expecting some miraculous answer to all your problems to emerge from his skin, but he wasn't so lucky. A lifetime of bottling up unwanted emotions has made its impact. He doesn't want to break in front of you now.

“I just…I never see you anymore Michael. You never acknowledge my feelings or, or make me feel like I’m allowed to have a say in anything! I’m always working around you, your needs. And you never take into consideration that it hurts me, Michael! It’s like I’m just a sitting doll that waits around for you to play with me! And I hate it!”

His thoughts are right but in the wrong order. The pain, frustration, and anger in your voice felt fully justified in regards to his recent actions. And worst of all, he doesn’t know how to fix this. His heart knows what to say, but his mouth won’t allow the correct words to come out.

“It-it’s always meeting this, or meeting that! Or, or there is always some excuse why you can’t spend time with me anymore! I don’t even know the last time you told me you loved me—I understand the business, the family, it comes first. But, goddamn it Michael! Isn’t there time for me anymore?”

He watches as you slump back down, face first into the pillows again. The only thing he’s able to mutter is a simple —

“Of course I love you.”

But he knows that’s not good enough.

Not for someone as special as you.

He wants to tell you how every single thing you do sets his heart ablaze, how even the simplest of innocuous gestures make him fall harder for you everyday. How you're the most important person in his life, the only one he lets his hard shelled exterior down for.

If you told him to jump, he'd jump. If you said you wanted the moon, he'd drag it down to Earth just to see your eyes light up just one last time. The world was his, and with you—he had everything he could have ever wanted in it.

He’d do anything for you. But he doesn’t know how to say it.

Running his hand through his hair, he lets out a shaky breath. He ruffles it up a bit, and just allows the words on his mind to tumble out right now; hoping they come out in some coherent form of comfort.

“Have I ever told you about the time I knew I fell in love with you?”

A movement from you shows at least a sign of life. You shift to the side, curling your legs up towards your chest. “I don’t know,” you simply mutter out, wrapping your arms around your body in a makeshift self-hug. He probably has at some point in your many years of marriage, but your mind currently fogged over in anger and sadness; any coherent thought or memory was lost.

“Would you like me to tell you?”

While you remain silent, dabbing your eyes with a balled-up cloth, he takes this as a sign to keep speaking. Something was changing slightly in your demeanor at the very least, you knew Michael was here now. You couldn’t change the past, but at least he was with you now

Michael lays himself on his back next to you, staring up at the intricate floral patterns adorning the ceiling of your bedroom. He crosses his arms across his waist, interlocking his fingers together. Touching you, holding you right now might make you overwhelmed in your already upset state, so Michael maintains his distance.

Michael’s eyes flutter closed, just letting his breath steady. “I never believed in love at first sight till I met you. Thought it was just an old saying.”

You let out a scoff at this, rolling onto your other side, facing Michael's body now. He doesn’t make eye contact with you, but this new position feels a bit safer. Warmer. Closing the tense distance between the two of you. “That’s just something they write on Hallmark cards, Michael. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

Michael shakes his head “no” adamantly. Even though your voice had that twinge of easily detectable sarcasm, he still saw this as a defiant act. “I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you. And I wouldn’t lie to you. I saw our entire future flash before my eyes when you looked back at me."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Do you remember where we met?”

Michael smiles, remembering fondly. He brings a hand up towards his cheek, cupping it within his palm. Your eyes follow him; every action Michael performs is so delicate, intentional, and calculated. There was only one word that came to mind when watching Michael, and that was immaculate.

He was simply immaculate.

Your thoughts racked around in your brain, attempting to think back that long ago in a attempt to compartmentalize the concept of the passage of time. “It's been a while, hasn’t it?” is the only intelligent thought that comes out of your mouth, an incredibly astute observation.

“Few years already, yes,” Michael confirms. But, do you remember where?” he asks again, with a bit of a playful tone punctuating this time; almost as if jokingly insinuating that you must have forgotten.

Dramatically taking offense, you lift your head to get a better look at him. “Of course I do! I haven't aged that much that I'm forgetting important things now!"

Your tears were slowly starting to slow down on their own, just the comfort of Michael next to you putting your mind and body at ease. "It was at the New York Botanical Garden. The rose garden section to be exact. April, everything was in full bloom."

Michael smiles down at you, his dark brown orbs doe-eyed and filled with adoration. "Well, you proved me wrong, you do remember." He smirks, as you playfully jab his side with your nails. It takes a bit of time for Michael to let his guard down like this, his seldom seen playful nature shining through.

He flinches a bit, his body jolting to the side as he lets out a laugh as your fingers assault him in a tickle frenzy. You knew all of Michael’s secret ticklish spots, and definitely used them to your advantage.

Finally pushing you away from him, Michael makes an attempt to connect the space between you. His hand reaches down, interlocking his fingers with yours. It makes you jump at first in surprise; even just the smallest of touches right now from Michael makes your skin tingle.

"Even amongst the sea of flowers, you still were the most beautiful thing in that garden. Without even seeing your face fully, I already knew I had to meet you. To at least make eye contact with you, to get you to notice me even just for a fleeting moment within our lives. That we could exist in each others world.”

His voice is so calm, so soothing. Every word he speaks just flows out of his mouth with such poise and confidence, even though Michael would insistently disagree. You felt wrapped up in his tale as if he swaddled you up in a blanket.

"And Sonny elbowed me, snapping me out of my love struck trance. He’s asking me, ‘what the hell I was waiting for? Go and talk to her already.’ But, well, you know he's much more of a people person than I ever have been. And Sonny has never really been one for subtleties."

You smile, lifting your head to prop your face on your cheek. The hot tempered older Corleone brother would act in no other way, you concluded.

"As you picked your head up, I could see just briefly underneath your large sunhat. You didn’t have any makeup on, and I knew you didn’t need any either. I could just tell that your beauty was natural, yet completely otherworldly. Unlike any women I've seen before. The way the freckles adorned your face, your skin absolutely kissed by the sun."

You blushed at Michael’s outpouring of adoration towards you. The way he spoke brought back the butterflies in your stomach you were so desperately missing before.

“I stared at you. Longer than I care to admit, and longer than I’m sure is considered to be polite.”

His cheeks start to acquire a reddish hue, an embarrassed flush adorning his face.

“And you caught me. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed before in my life. As your head turned to me, your [e/c] eyes illuminating the late evening sun. They shined back at me, reflecting two of their own effervescent suns. Suns that I wished would never set, ones I wished I could bask in their warm glow forever. Of course, Sonny immediately knew. He had to have, the ridiculous grin on his face that gave his intentions away. His eyes were flitting from me to you.”

Michael wraps his arms around you, holding you against his chest. The fabric of his shirt rubs against your open back as you listen to the sound of his heartbeat; a rhythmic metronome. Your hand reached down, grabbing one of Michael's hands and re-interlocking your fingers with his. Everything about him radiated warmth.

“And you know what he did? Surprised he didn't get in trouble but, knowing him, I'm sure he would use his fists to get out of any problems anyways."

“He pulled out a knife from his pocket. Because of course he had one on him. Without even the slightest bit of hesitation, Sonny cut a rose off the bush next to us, pushing it into my hands. I'm sure there’s some crime or misdemeanor for stealing a rose from the New York Botanical Gardens."

You smiled at this, and Michael laughed at the ridiculous of the situation. But both of you admit, without Sonny's rather bold attempt to force you to together, neither of you would be right here, right now.

"So he hands me this rose, and says ‘Michael. If you don't go over there and talk to her right now, I swear I'll go over there and ask her out instead.’

You let out a small laugh at this, Michael's story panting a visage in your mind. "You think Sonny was bluffing just to encourage you?"

"No, he totally would have. You don’t truly know how hard-headed that man can be. But, he pushed me forward towards you.""I..." he starts, and stutters for a moment over his words. "I think that was the best thing my brother ever did for me. When you smiled back at me I, felt my heart pulsate faster than I think it could possibly pound. Thought I was going to fall over right then and there."

He smiles, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear, his voice growing lower, quieter, and more tender.

"You didn't even have to utter a single word. I knew, right there, that I loved you. And that you were destined to be in my life. Someway, somehow."

Being close like this Michael smelled like home, he felt like home. Wherever he was, was your home. Getting even closer to you, Michael’s cheek nuzzled against yours—the feeling of his freshly shaven face giving you goosebumps. Lifting the hand not connected to Michael’s, you grasp for his hair, combing your fingers through his dark tendrils.

"I love you so much, [Y/N]. I know I don't say it enough, I know I don't show it enough. But I love you so much. I do not know what I'd do without il mid fiore. You're my flower."

"I love you too Michael.”

He didn't know he needed to hear those words from you as well, but in that moment, he felt his heart flutter as tears threatened to well up in his eyes. It's quite possibly the most emotional he's ever been around you.

He presses a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I’ll do better for you, for us. I promise. I cant lose you. You mean too much to me. And I hope you never forget that. Make me be better, my flower. You’re my strength.”

You turn your head to him, sealing this promise that he vows to keep with a kiss. You look deeply into his eyes, with one last question.

"Do you still love me?"

He brushes his hand against your cheek.

"I never stopped loving you in the first place."

[amenomiko]

HI DARLINGGGG 😍😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕💕! Thank you for the request HEWHEW I LOVE this kind of storyline 👀👀👀👀💕💕💕💕💕! Oh, FYI, I made this story into two parts! Turns out that my story is too long to the point I have to split it 🤣 @ikemen-girl

Retrieve That Smile Again (Part 1)

Pairing: IkeSen Ieyasu x MC (Reader)

Type: One Shot

Rated: Angst + Fluff

❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤

SLAP!!

"..Don't touch me with your filthy hands."

Frozen ice.

That is the best word, the perfect word to describe the air within the council hall right now.

His fellow warlords, even his lord, were utterly speechless with the scene in front of them. Her, in the middle of the room, staring down coldly at him, whose cheek is burning from her slap; a slap that is... No, it is an unexpected thing that caught him off guard, enough to make him lose his balance and stumble backwards from the impact.

"Enough with your contrary words; nothing but a mere facade-- there is no need to proof anything anymore, with what you have caused, with what you have made me the way I am right now."

Her grimness changed impromptu the moment she turned to Nobunaga, "Now, if you would excuse me. I would like to begin my journey to Kasugayama, Nobunaga."

She walked pass him, the bewildered Ieyasu, before Nobunaga give his approval.

......

"Ieyasu.. Are you.."

Hideyoshi stops himself, clenching his fists tightly until it turns white. "She.. Has really changed."

"Our pure, lively Chatelaine. To a cold, ruthless Princess." Mitsuhide added, shrugging to his lord, "She, someone who hesitate to end one's life, wouldn't think twice to do it now."

"...It's my fault." Ieyasu started, gritting his teeth. "For pushing her away back then."

"Indeed you are." Nobunaga scoffed, "It has damaged her so much on the inside few months back."

Really.

She was broken back then.

----

"I know I am just a nuisance to you- n-no- I AM a nuisance, even from the beginning.. But- Ieyasu, I--"

She pursed her quivering lips, hands clenching on her kimono tightly as she continued, "M-my feelings are true. This is not for the spur of the moment, just because you gave me that earrings back then, f-for my reward in practising archery of course..! A-and-"

"....Can you make it quick? I don't have all day." He huffed, rolling his eyes and look away from her, making her more flustered than ever. "I- I'm sorry..! What I'm trying to say is..!"

She can do this..! She can do this..! She chanted the spell within her thumping chest; this is the hopeless feelings that she had bloomed for him. To her, Ieyasu had done a lot for her, and love has slowly emerge to the surface, of where, it had been born just from feeling greatful towards him.

She have been in love with him, oh for how long. She even choose him over her future in her era, just to be with him. She even stayed until the end, until Nobunaga's army make an alliance with Kenshin and Shingen. So she must do this..! This is the main purpose of why she chose to stay..!

"I- I love you..! From the bottom of my heart..!"

A sniff escapes from her lips-- finally she said it..! After all this time..! She had successfully gather the last bit of her courage to--

"...Are you done?"

....Eh?

"...H-Huh?"

"...I'm asking. Are you done?"

None.

There is no single, positive expression curved on his face. Nothing but a bored look, a tired, bored look that has been forced to do something out of his willingness.

"If there's nothing else, I will leave now."

"W-wait..! Ieyasu..! What do you think of me? What is your answer?"

"Answer? What are you talking about?"

"But I just-"

"Just what?"

No.. Please. Even if he is the type to say the opposite of what he really means, this is not really the time to act that way.

"What..? An answer to your confession? What do you want it to be?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I--"

"If you expect me to say 'Thank You', or 'Yes', you are wrong. Even if we have gained an alliance, I don't have time for love right now."

"Oh- of- of course." Of course..! Just what she have been hoping? He is a warlord, of course he wanted to focus on nothing but the future just like what Nobunaga wanted. Still..

Why does it hurt so much..?

Especially when..

He is smiling gently to the Princess from neighboring country? His hand wouldn't hesitate to hold hers, to guide her in the steps of the garden, to pardon her when she accidentally fell on his chest?

Ah, of course..!

He is showing a courtesy. For the sake of Nobunaga's image. Even if.. He..

Kissed her on the cheek, rubbing it after and hold her close to him, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder-- and--

And--

"Mmmf..!!"

"MC..!"

Hideyoshi caught her in his arms as she fall to the side. "You..! Get some medicine from Ieyasu..!"

"No."

She immediately stop the latter from doing so, shaking her head with a wry smile. "I'm good, Hideyoshi. It's just.. I'm not feeling well, that's all."

"...You are, so much."

She had... Unconsciously refuse any intake within her body ever since then. The stress has been piled up, until her body rejects to almost everything. She even force herself to eat, but then again, her fingers made its way to her throat, shoving it by force until her knuckles were injured from her own teeth, so she can push the thing that she has eaten out from her body.

It's an endless cycle, she had stop seeing people altogether as well. She had been crying, sobbing into the night; into her own world, and she would sing to herself, repeating the same words over and over again;

"Why would you bring the good memories in my life when you pushed me away like this?"

Then she will cup her face, brimming her cheeks with endless flow of tears. Again, and again,.... And... Again, and again.

Until one day,

She had stepped out from the room, her tears is no longer there, her sadness has faded away, and.. It is as if she had been born once again.

MC cut her hair, filling her days with constant training, and mastering both long and short range weapons, as well as following the lords to battlefield.

Of where,...

Her ruthless side has surfaced.

She wouldn't hesitate to kill. She wouldn't think twice to give mercy, and there is no single tears nor pity for her enemies anymore. It is up to the point she made them terrified of her, especially when she bravely pointed a sword to any of the warlord's neck.

This matter had reached to Ieyasu, and he himself were astonished to her sudden change.

There was.. A lot of misunderstanding truthfully. But it was too late.

Though,

No matter how late it is, he must do whatever he can to stop any further unnecessary killings in the future.

Hence why, when he had tried to approach her, she had treated him to how he treated her.

Yes, she had changed.

...For the worse.

-----

"A misunderstanding, you say?" She snorted. "My, who would've thought our contrary lord would lie. A bad one at that."

She said it, not even bothering to lift her head and look at him. Just like how she used to be. She.. Always has this.. Sparkles in her eyes whenever he is talking to her. Sometimes he find her staring ahead, into the clear blue sky, taking all the ample time in the world while her long hair gently blown by the soft breeze. Then, when her name is called by someone, she would immediately turned her attention to them, curving a soft smile on her lips, and eyes will see nothing but that person.

She used to be like that, especially for him, someone that she had sincerely pour her hopeless love to. She sees him as if he is her everything, he is precious, and hold everything that she have in his hands; her heart.

And yet he broke it.

Therefore right now, he must save her. From the old pain, and herself.

"I was a fool."

He finally gets her attention.

"I pushed you away.. Yes, at that time I see nothing else but to seek for strength. More power, for myself. Love was never my priority nor focus-- it's not important for me. I think that I am weak, not enough to protect someone with my abilities."

"And-- if you think that I have a special relationship with the neighboring princess, you are wrong. I was the only suitable person to act as a decoy for her back then-- she was-- here, to escape from the arranged marriage she was appointed to. Her fiancee is too old for her, and so, in order not to rouse suspicions, and to make the fiancee believe it, Lord Nobunaga had agreed and chose me to act as her lover-- that is a-"

"..Are you done?"

What..?

"I said, are you done?"

"Are you done?" That is the same line he said to her at that time.

"I--"

"Alright, finally. Now if you would excuse me."

"Wait..! MC!"

He caught her by the hand, pulling her to face him again, "I know you won't accept my apology right now, and I know you are not fully healed from what I did to you, but please..!"

"....."

"Don't kill. Don't touch those weapons again. It's not for you. Those blood that were stained on your hand is not meant for you. For you to change drastically-- because of me-- I--" He grit his teeth when the whole reasons sinks into his heart, "Please just.. Stop."

"Easier said than done."

"MC--"

"What has been done is done. There is no point to return to something that is empty like a nuisance shell to everyone around her. Well, if it isn't anyone but me." She curved a smirk, yanking her wrist away from him, "It is a path I've chosen for myself. You see, Ieyasu.."

He watched her brush her growing hair to the side. Finding himself speechless to the grim in her orbs, "I was a fool too. I chose this era, and I promise that I will even kill for you. Just to be with you. But now," A chuckle left her, "I don't need to do for the sake of being with you. I'm sick of my past that is weak and a huge weight to everyone, so I decided to kill, even. without. you."

"....." He clench his fists, swallowing the lump in his throat,

"It's for the sake of one's survival, Honey." She winked before tapping his nose and walk away.

He was left alone at the castle gate, he could only see her go, and watch her from her back. The back that represents the fragile girl, and were replaced with a back of a warrior.

"...Then so be it."

[vampyrly]

: / i need any help and/or validation for a situation im dealing with

ok heads up this is going to be potentially very long to read and get through, like possibly 10 minutes at most but it is detailed and information heavy, i dont want to leave anything out

if anyone knows me/knows me on twitter and has seen my tweets where i've detailed the bullshit my roommate has done in the past you'll know i dont particularly like their presence based on their immature and gross antics. well ladies and gentlemen just when i thought they couldn't possibly sink any lower as a person, they pulled through the shit olympics and won gold.

my roommate has a cat, they had it prior to moving in and on their account the cat has been by their side 24/7. it is very attached and has most definitely developed a form of separation anxiety because of this. there hasnt been an issue with how often they stay with their cat up until recently... their girlfriend got her own apartment and over the past few months my rm has been staying with her 24/7. as in, is practically never in the apartment. they only come back to refill their cats food/water and is immediately out the door again. occasionally they will sleep overnight but after that they are back out the door.

as anyone who understands cats or animals in general would realize, this is essentially neglecting a cat, one you have gone from being with every day, to essentially never seeing. and this was not gradual, it was a damn near sudden change. you can probably imagine this is putting a lot of confusion and stress on the cat. over time, the cat has reacted more physically. they have become prone to crying by the door, biting the gf's toes, glaring at her (i guess), and such.

now, about a week ago, the cat had bitten my roommate incredibly hard to the point of drawing a lot of blood. apparently this was so traumatic to the rm that they now refuse to even be in the same room with the cat (there have only been a handful of times where they've slipped into the room to grab an essential and shimmy back out) so much so that they brought an air mattress, set it up in the living room, and is now temporarily sleeping there. no, im not joking.

now im not going to go into detail about why this buildup from the cat occurred, i think it should be pretty obvious already why, but to my rm, they fully believe this behavior is aggressive and unusual. as in, this cat had malicious, negative intent to do harm on its owner. its owner which, up until months ago, they were so attached to and clearly loved. as a friend has pointed out, this isnt signaling aggression. this is signaling a need to get attention in any way possible. their own cat had scratched them up so bad to the point they almost had to go to the ER, but it wasnt because the cat was aggressive, it just thought it was playtime! the case is different here yes, because unlike my rm the friend actually takes care and gives attention to their cat, so this was a very rare occurrence. simply put, this cat is lacking so much stimulation, attention, and basic interaction that this, to me, felt like a last resort. because clearly, the constant cries of sadness wasnt doing anything for them. they're currently in the process of rehoming the cat and will permanently ditch it on the 28th. thats still another 5 fucking days of this cat being in these neglected conditions, and thats not counting when this started, which was 17th, 18th if were being generous on account of me misremembering the date of events because who can blame me so much has already happened its becoming difficult to keep track.

a cat that they up until this point loved and gave attention to as apparent by them claiming she is for emotional support, is being thrown out of their life without remorse over one instance of """aggression""" (dont make me explain why it wasnt again.)

my roommate knows full and well that they have every ability and every second on their hands to bring the cat with them to the gf's apartment but guess what? they simply choose not to do so! i guess those toes getting bitten was so traumatic because oh yeah may i add, the girlfriend is a massive enabler of the roommate and sees absolutely no issue to the actions they are taking in response. i doubt they even tried to properly warm the cat up to a person who is a newcomer to the relationship. im sure they both think in their heads that this is the most responsible thing they can do as pet owners and that they're such good people for rehoming a cat they cant take care of anymore. yes, nothing more responsible than neglecting an animal that needs social interaction as much as that one in particular is in dire need of. responsible pet owners would have never let it escalate to such a point, i'll have you know.

my roommate has done a lot of bullshit that has made me want to pull my hair out, but at the very least, it didnt involve a living creature. this however draws a line as i refuse to stand for animal neglect simply because im an outsider and have no direct say in the situation. i've taken as much action as i possibly can, phoning and texting and emailing as many people as i possibly can. i hesitate to say this is straight up animal abuse because as firm as i can be i try to give people the benefit of the doubt BUT. i will say that every single person i have relayed all of this info to thus far has told me that this is grounds for animal abuse.

yesterday i ran into my rm and they told me "heyyy sorry about her crying constantly, its just not possible for me to be in there whatsoever!" and when i asked if they have someone refilling the bowls and litter on their behalf they said "nope just me" ????????? simultaneously on the same day i said fuck it, i am going to break out the secret key i have to their room to check on the cat. yes i have a key to their room, i have never used it until now and if you want to ignore everything thus far to give me some shit about trust or whatever consider: i dont fucking care. as it turns out the food and water bowls are the type that automatically refill. so, hmmm. theres that part out of the way, but of course, you cannot put in a machine to automatically interact with a cat on the level of a human. as for the litter, i couldnt see since i didnt step more than a foot into the room as to not impede boundaries on the cat and i didnt want my roommate to suddenly come home to me knees deep in their shithole. it was probably in the closet but then how is that being cleaned? those automatic cleaning cat litter boxes dont come cheap and i know damn well they cannot afford one. and may i just add as a tidbit, the room has a sitting scent of pee. though seeing as how gross my roommate can get im betting its just them and not the cat. also that room was cold as fuck. were at 60-70s right now in terms of weather right now it does not need to be that cold......

here is a video i was able to capture. i mounted my phone on a monopod in order to get a scope of the room without stepping in too far.

i decided that the least i can do at the moment is to head out to dollar tree and get a toy or two so i can at least provide some amount of stimulation. before i left, i checked on her again.

she was just laying there, keeping her distance, and didnt lurch at me whatsoever. i came back with a feather wand and played with her for a couple of minutes. she responded a little to it, but for the most part she was peering out the door wondering where the hell her so called responsible owner was. i took my sweater off and let the cat sniff it. i have zero relationship with this cat, infact its the first time i've ever properly seen it as it is locked in the bedroom 24/7.

now you may be asking yourself, why is this cat locked away in a room 24/7 like rapunzel locked in her tower and not roaming freely in the open apartment? i too would like an answer to this! i rarely spend any time in the living room but even if i did i have NO issue with it chilling in there.

someone i phoned did bring up a good point that for AS to consider a legitimate case of abuse or even do anything, there'd need to be no food or water. so essentially, unless you're straight up physically harming an animal outside of their headquarters they dont fucking care. want to be proven further on that? my rm actually did speak with AS at the start of bite-saga. surprisingly they werent 100% truthful, and, get a load of this, they told them that the cat potentially has a virus, and that they need to be quarantined the entire 2 week period. thats some lying bullshit if i've ever heard some!!! not only that, just a few hours ago i peeped the girlfriend had the vet get back to them about lending a muzzle!

SO. heres the current situation as of today and what will occur to tomorrow: i finally phoned someone who is going to drop by the apartment tomorrow, potentially with another person (these are not random people, im simply keeping their status as anonymous as possible to maintain their privacy) to check on the cats conditions. they'll also call AS again and nudge the rm in a way where it seems AS needs them to expedite the surrendering process sooner than later. i cant imagine another 5 days of this going on, but theres only so much that can be done that doesnt involve me straight up catknapping the poor thing and rehoming her myself. this is the condition of the cat as of a few hours ago:

if i were someone uninvolved and saw this, i would have assumed she were a stray that broke into the room........

i try not to be petty and villainous, but a line has been crossed and the disgusting mistreatment of an innocent creature is a crime i refuse to allow be sweeped under the rug. if theres any benefit to living in a relatively small town, its that everyone knows or at least recognizes everyone. far too many people already get away with animal abuse, at the very least i can make as many people here as aware of their antics as i can. is that wrong to do? should i not air all that i can out about them? im so tired and exhausted. i've lost so much sleep over this and im probably going to lose a lot more. thanks for reading.

[btskismet]

Kismet (Chapter 19): A BTS Jin Imagines Fanfic

First ever fanfic. Contains some fluff and smut. Please read sequentially as it is a long story arc. Please provide feedback! My IG is btskismet.

November 8, 1944

Jun-seok was greeted by the pleasant-looking soldier who was speaking with the woman earlier. He was taller than Jun-seok and had a nice smile. His dimples were showing and his build looked like that of a model - long legs and a long torso. If he wasn't in the military, he could be modeling suits or even come across as a lounge singer.

"Konnichiwa, Ittohei Sakurai. Watashi wa Jun-i Watanabe Nama." (Hello, Private Sakurai. I am Warrant Officer Nama Watanabe), the officer introduced himself with a bow.

Jun-seok bowed back and introduce himself with his Japanese name.

"Touma-san, it's good to have another soldier here who studied machinery very well. I've been waiting for your arrival. We badly need someone to help us repair the planes.", Watanabe said. This made Jun-seok smile as he was getting excited with the chance of looking at a fighter plane's engine.

"Has the Captain brief you on the other orders?", Watanabe inquired. Jun-seok's mood then changed to be quite serious. "Yes. I'll make sure to do what is asked.", Jun-seok replied.

Watanabe then patted Jun-seok's shoulder. "Don't worry, I will help you. I'll tell you more about the other soldiers so you know who to approach. I personally approve of this idea, even though the Captain doesn't."

Watanabe then brought Jun-seok inside the sundries shop to gather his supplies. They then walked to the barracks.

"You see, I've spoken to some of the soldiers in Akagi-san's platoon.", Watanabe expressed as they were walking side by side. "Some of the newer ones are quite scared of him and they are being forced to do what he wants. There are about half of the soldiers who are very loyal to him since they were part of his platoon from the very beginning. But there are newer ones who don't understand his orders."

Jun-seok contemplated on this for a few minutes. The newer soldiers will be easier to sway and he just needed to befriend them.

"The Captain doesn't believe that the minds of the soldiers can be changed but I do. After talking to them privately for the past few weeks, I can see that Akagi-san's hold on all of them is weakening. We just need someone to further break that hold.", Watanabe said with a harder pat on Jun-seok's shoulder when he said his last statement.

"I'll do my best, Jun-i.", he said to Watanabe.

Jun-seok suddenly had to urge to ask Watanabe about the beautiful woman he was speaking with, seeing that he seems to be the talkative type. But he hesitated. He didn't want the officer to think he had women on the brain. Next time I'll ask, he thought to himself.

------

The barracks were at least 2 kilometers away from town. It wasn't hard to walk the distance as they met more soldiers along the way. There were fields around the area with farmers picking out coffee fruits from the plants as well.

As he was looking at the fields, it made sense why the army wanted to have them converted into tarmac. They were the only expansive areas of land in the densely populated area of the town. The land was also hilly and there weren't that many long stretches of plains to build somewhere else. So, the fields had to go.

How the Major was going to convince the Mayor about giving up the fields would be a difficult task - it wouldn't be easy to take out these swaths of land, especially if the farmers needed it. He didn't see many plantations but the few he saw were really fertile as many farmers kept picking the fruits and left the field with baskets full of the fruit.

Watanabe brought him to his quarters at the barracks. He asked as to why he was staying alone and no one was bunking with him. "This is actually a storage area converted to your quarters. It's connected to the kitchen. I'm sorry if we couldn't get you a regular bunk with the other soldiers. The last rebel attack hit our existing quarters and we're still rebuilding.", Watanabe said, with a slight scratch to the back of his head.

Jun-seok was actually happy he was alone. He knew he had to connect with the soldiers of Akagi's platoon soon but for the first few days of his arrival to the country, he really wanted time for himself. He hasn't had a chance to sit down and really take all of it in ever since he arrived.

"This is good, Jun-i Watanabe. I will feel comfortable here. Does the cook stay near here too?"

Watanabe shook his head. "No, he's on the other side of the main quarters. You'll have to wait for him before you could eat. Unless you can cook..."

"I can.", Jun-seok said as he was looking at the food items inside the quarters. "If the cook needs help, I can help him out."

"Ha! Will wonders ever cease. You're a jack of all trades, Ittohei.", Watanabe said. "Let's not share that with the cook then. He's good but I know cooking is his passion and he doesn't want others to bother or compete with him. The food has been... edible with the scarce ingredients we have and we can get. Might hurt his feelings, you know, if he knew you can cook. He replaced the last one since Matsuyo-san... well..."

Jun-seok understood why Watanabe trailed off. The previous cook probably was someone dear to him if he couldn't even mention that the man died. Sadness could be seen on Watanabe's face as his fingers traced over cans of soup.

"If you have time to cook, then maybe we can all eat better. Hehe...", Watanabe said with a slight smirk to change the somber mood his silence brought.

"I'll leave you for now. Please report to my office this afternoon so you can start on knowing your tasks. I will need to check tomorrow how many planes are back for repair. I think we can bring them closer to the camp. Without the tarmac close to us, we got to be more creative in getting things done. "

"Hai, Jun-i. Domo arigato gozaimasu.", Jun-seok replied with a low bow.

-----

Jun-seok spent the rest of the day going around the barracks and the camp surrounding it. He wanted to make sure he was familiar with his surroundings. He wouldn't want to be caught in a blind spot or be trapped somewhere if an attack happened. So, he made sure he knew where the armory was at. He would be getting his service pistol tomorrow but that wasn't an assurance in case of a rebel siege.

He didn't have a chance to meet the other soldiers he was supposed to investigate and convince since they were out for rounds around the perimeter. So, he was able to enjoy dinner by himself. He had some fish and rice from the store he went to that morning and some pickled vegetables. Eating them made him miss his mother's kimchi.

-------

Jun-seok joined the squad that morning on their way to the perimeter line closest to the coffee fields.

The squad went to the storage area/his quarters that early morning and were startled to see him there. They went there to pick up supplies for the squad near the perimeter, which was also known as a hotspot for surprise rebel attacks. Jun-seok asked if he could come with them to check it out. Jun-i Watanabe went to the next town that morning to check the planes and he did say Jun-seok should wait until he finds a way to get the damaged planes closer to the barracks.

The squad agreed in having him join them as long as he helped bring the food.

Lugging a sack of rice on his back (and they made him work by giving him the heaviest bag), he came to know the small squad of 4 soldiers. They've been in the town for almost 6 months but they were originally deployed in the capital.

"Man, I feel lucky we're here now. In the capital, almost every other day, we were fighting with rebels. I hardly got any sleep when we were there. And the locals weren't as helpful or friendly than the ones here.", one of the soldiers shared.

"Yeah, Shosa's good relationship with the Mayor here is paying off. I haven't paid for much of my supplies from the merchants. They don't mind giving stuff for free. So I'm able to keep my money so I can send it back home.", another soldier shared happily in their conversation.

Jun-seok was starting to feel more at ease being assigned to this area. He experienced that nice hospitality as well yesterday. So, it wasn't just a random thing.

Even I have this unsettling task to do, at least it won't be too hard if the locals were friendly, he thought to himself. This made him feel more confident.

That confidence was about to wane soon though.

A light drizzle started and with the skies slightly dark, rain was bound to come. He felt relieved that wearing the extra jacket on top of his uniform wasn't a waste when he took it as an afterthought before he left camp.

As they approached the perimeter near the coffee fields, they heard angry shouts coming from the forested area close to the field. They couldn’t make out what was going on from afar so they decided to go into the forest.

What Jun-seok saw made his heart sink.

--- to be continued - -