#so finish the specialization in generic and then study for peds

[lukreziaaa]

“I’m not a pediatric surgeon.”

“You touch the child whenever you speak with her. You explain conditions to the child, not just the parents. And you react to the patient as if it was your own child. And you break protocol, which is inappropriate. Except in the case of pediatric surgery. You’re not a general surgeon.

You’re a pediatric surgeon.”

[poweroption24]

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[randomoranges]

teacher au 

Desk Space

The students’ of 5C, M Édouard’s class, always really appreciate their teacher. They know his name is Edward, but it’s a French school and even when they try, it sounds more like Édouard than Edward, and after so many years, Edward’s gotten used to it and even grown fond of it. He says it’s his teacher persona name and sometimes imagines an entire different life for M Édouard who’s able to do many great things, while Edward chills in the back and waits to take over when the day ends. Even when his boyfriend uses his name (and not one of the multitudes of nicknames and pet names he has for him), it always falls closer to Édouard (but when Étienne calls him Édouard, it’s sweet and intimate and it warms his insides.)

 (Edward never really thought he would become a teacher and had more or less come to the profession by accident. He’d needed a job, they’d been hiring, he had half the degree done and then completed the other half. The school then offered him a full time position and – well, he’d decided to stay, for the kids, really, and the fact that maybe he could make a difference for some of them – get them back on instead of letting them fall through the crack. Or something equally poetic. He’d tried applying to other jobs, but nothing really interested him.)

 M Édouard’s students’ don’t know all of that. They know he comes from l’Alberta, which by now they can place on a map. They know he comes from Edmonton (and boy does it sound funny when they say it in French) and that he’s been in Montréal for a little over ten years now. They’ve calculated the distance between both cities, have done their own exposés on the differences and similarities between both places (just to see the surprise on M Édouard’s face – and somehow, every year, there’s at least one student who does such an exposé, and somehow, every time, Edward is completely surprised and delighted), and it isn’t rare for M Édouard to hear that one of his student’s would really like to visit Edmonton one day.

 Edward never lies to his students and is frank with them when they ask questions or when there’s something going on. His students are well on their way to becoming preteens and teenagers and one day, they will be leading the world, so they may as well start realising the problems that are in it. He pushes them to think critically, makes them look beyond the face value of news and new releases, and encourages them towards paths that interest them. He holds the science club and invites all students who might be interested and does his best to keep them motivated throughout the year.

 M Édouard’s students love him. They appreciate his dry sense of humour and his no-nonsense attitude. He’s fair and generous, but he keeps his word when it comes to discipline. Everyone can get a second chance, but you need to earn it. He talks to his troublemakers and does his best to find solutions before giving demerit points and it’s extremely rare that M Édouard has called home to have a serious discussion with a student’s parents.

 With every new batch of students’, M Édouard finds himself fielding the same questions. He doesn’t mind, likes to see which ones will come first and the reactions to some of his answers. He’s agreed, with Étienne, that the students don’t need to know that they’re together. No one’s ever really outright asked him if he and M Étienne are together, so therefore, it’s not a lie. Their colleagues know and have figured it out over the years, staff parties, PED days and end of year parties. It’s not a secret and they never intended it to be, but there was no whiteboard announcement about it either. Edward likes to think that his private life and school life can stay a little separate and Étienne likes to see how much he can get away with the students’ and if any of them will ever catch on. (They don’t and it’s funny. Many students’ have seen them leave or arrive at school together, Étienne has always dressed as Mme Élyse for Halloween and “pretended to be M Édouard’s girlfriend”, they eat lunch together more often than not, there’s a giant overlap between the art club and the science club, and still the students’ believe that M Étienne and M Édouard are really good friends. (They’re not wrong. Étienne is one of his best friends.))

 Still, Edward always makes sure to tell his students that they can be whatever they want, that he’ll care for them well after they leave these hallowed halls, and that they’ll always have a safe space in class 5C. There’s a rainbow sticker on his class window and he takes the time to explain what it means. They have discussions about what it means to be LGBTQA+, some students mention having a lesbian auntie, or a gay neighbour, and he ties it up nicely with other lessons in ethics and in French and the whole thing goes down smoothly. He sometimes hesitates and thinks of sharing his own story, but he never gets around to it – doesn’t want to stop the exchange of ideas amongst the kids. Maybe he’s holding back, maybe there is still some fear left in him that he’ll hear back from it from the parents or admin, but – he leaves it at that and figures he can re-examine it at a later date.

 Still, he tells his students’ they can always come to him, that he’ll lend them an ear if they need one and that even if they chose to be someone different, that he’ll always think them valid. The message doesn’t really have its full impact when he tells them that – not when they’re ten and eleven and still a little green behind the ears, but Edward’s had a few students now, from his earlier groups, come to see him out of the blue and ask if they could talk and catch up – if they could share something with him and thank him for what he’d said way back.

 (Edward never denies such requests.)

 Therefore, all that to say, when his new students ask him if he’s married, he’s honest and tells them no, he is not. (That answer might change soon. They’ve been talking about it – him and Étienne and they’ve agreed that it could be nice, soon, eventually. They’re already settled down and both their names are on the mortgage papers, but – it would be nice. At some point. Once they finish playing catch up with the last of the house renovations and they figure out which set of dishes they want to keep. The guestroom still has a few of Étienne’s boxes they haven’t sorted through yet, but summer is only so long and there’s always something better to do during it.)

 The students giggle and some boldly ask if he has a girlfriend. Again, he replies in the negative as he thinks of long curly hair, kind green eyes, and a bright smile that warm his soul. This generation still isn’t there, but Edward likes to think that maybe, in the second leg of his career, he’ll have someone sincerely ask him if he has a boyfriend and he’ll be able to say that he does and it won’t be a big deal.

 Then, there are all the other questions; does he have a pet (technically, it’s Étienne’s dog, but he says yes and always has a picture on hand of Mercury to pass around.) There’s the usual excited exchange about pets; dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, fish and then the usual questions about his age and where he’s from.

 The students like M Édouard and they’re never shy to ask him other questions, throughout the year, as they come. They like the fact that he decorates the classroom with them for every holiday. They like that he brings in cupcakes when it’s someone’s birthday. And they like that he lets them have snowball fights when the snow is soft and powdery, even if it’s forbidden by the school.

 Yet, for as much as M Édouard is pretty much an open book, his desk space is scarcely decorated, compared to many of the previous teachers’ the students’ have had in the past. There isn’t a plethora of personal knick-knacks held up with magnets on the filling cabinet near his desk, no transparent desk covering that protects half a dozen cute family photos and no significant paperweights holding back ungraded tests. Instead, M Édouard’s desk is pristine and near immaculate. The schedule is easily accessible, the workbooks are neatly arranged in a book holder, he has some of the students’ artwork on his filling cabinet (personal drawings the students’ have made him) and the week’s study schedule and homework at hand. The laptop is properly set up, the mouse sits on its pad, and a pencil holder holds enough pens and pencils that he never has to search for one.

 But, there are three tiny concessions to M Édouard’s carefully organised desk space. The first is the set of Oilers themed magnets that M Édouard uses to hold up the drawings on his metal filling cabinet. The students’ forgive him for such a travesty, since they know he’s from Edmonton, and it’s a bonding moment for those other students’ who’ve taken a liking for a team that isn’t the Habs, here in Montréal. The second is a small ceramic magpie, made and painted by hand by someone special in Edward’s life that sits on his desk, by his laptop. It reminds him of home, it gives him comfort when he looks at it and its presence on his desk is essential. The last is on the filing cabinet proper, safely tucked away by the photocopied exercise sheets. It’s a picture frame that any of the students can see when they come up to ask him a question.

 In the photo, there are two people (and now a dog). Him, Étienne and Mercury. The photo has them both smiling during some picturesque autumn walk they’d taken. (The photo is unfortunately cropped right below their shoulders and so the photo doesn’t reveal Edward’s arm around Étienne’s waist, or Étienne’s hand on his thigh.) The red and orange foliage is at its best; they look like the perfect image of good health and happiness and surprisingly still, no one puts it together. (Not now. Some have, later, when they come back to see him, and sometimes they ask, and this time Edward nods.) They recognise him, recognise M Étienne, but don’t go beyond that. However, it’s there for those who need it and he feels that it’s enough.

[thechaseaphrodite]

Time Warp

Chapter 01

Hi guys! How are you?

First, I would like to thank you very, very, very much for all the reviews, kudos, favorites and followings that we got only with the prologue!

I would especially like to thanks: Anita, BrittneyJ2020, calzona4me, Calzonafan123, chuckechesnut, Felicity_Olicity, helenkidd1, Kels1769, koreee.95, LarisUSB, Mariz Vida, MauraIslesJr, Sisidandan, TheMikaelsonPrince, Tifenn and WitchArabella

And of course, a special thanks to my beta reader: @tiggermay

Answering Reviews: I planned to go back so far for many reasons that will be revealed throughout the story. And yes, this will impact many things, including Sofia, but calm down, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I got some comments saying that Callie was out of character because she was “sleeping around”. First thing, right now Callie is single, so if she wants to sleep with all of New York, it’s her right. However, Callie’s behavior was indicative of something intentional in the story. After all, you know Callie doesn't usually spleep around. Or maybe that was just Arizona's jealousy talking. You didn't EVER see Callie with anyone. So don't be so quick to judge, guys, and hold your fire.

And, take it all with a pinch of salt.

Finally, I just wanted to say that I plan to try to post a new chapter every Thursday.

I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

When Arizona opened her eyes again, she was in a bed. She sat up slowly, her hands going to her left leg, caressing her own skin, delightedly watching her own left foot move, like it hadn’t in years.

"God..." she murmured, a smile breaking out in her face. Arizona jumped out of bed, laughing as she felt both her legs move together, wiggling her toes in absolute delight. She ran to the bathroom, smiling at her reflection, ten years younger. She giggled as she saw Kai's face over her shoulder.

“We're back,” she said to him, maintaining eye contact through the mirror. “We’re really back.”

Kai laughed softly and nodded. "We’re back".

Arizona turned squealing with joy and embraced the half-naked man. "How… How are we going to do this?" she murmured, keeping her face against her guide's chest, the scent of the meadow, not having yet left Kai's skin.

Kai shrugged. “Only you can see me Arizona. I will follow you and help you with the memories, but you’re free. This is your second chance.”

Arizona sighed turning to the mirror. "This is my chance to make things right with Calliope," she murmured lovingly. “Wait, wait. What day is it?” she muttered taking out her cell phone. She frowned, thinking it would take her a while to readjust to the technology. “January 2009... Dr. Kenley will have a heart attack...”

"Tomorrow. Your main case will be Jackson Prescott. And you will meet Miranda Bailey and Alex Karev.”

Arizona nodded. “I remember that case. It was a true miracle. I think I can do better this time. But before... Before, I need...” she looked around the apartment for her laptop. “I need to talk to Nick. He needs to get proper treatment. It's been three years since he was diagnosed, I think…”

Kai sat on Arizona’s couch, throwing a small ball against the wall while the pediatrician wrote to her best friend.

 Hey Nick!

How are you? I haven't heard from you in a while... Alright, alright, I know I turned into a horror show during my residency, but now that I've finished my fellowship I should’ve a more normal life. Or as normal as a doctor's life can be.

Because I'm a doctor, remember that, Nick? Even though I'm a pediatric surgeon, I studied everything. That is, I can help you if something is wrong.

Arizona took a deep breath. Theoretically, she shouldn’t know about the tumor.

I have a feeling something is wrong. Let me help you, Nick; please contact me!

With love,

Arizona

 She bit her bottom lip before clicking send. With that done, Arizona decided to explore her old apartment. The memories were coming back little by little, like little flashes through her mind. She was so focused that she didn’t even notice Kai fade into the background.

It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of a new email. She jumped back to her laptop. She took a moment to acclimate back to the old technology. She had gotten used to the smoothness and easy access to everything the technology of her time provided. This might take a minute, she thought and waited while everything was uploading while silently longing for the digitalized easiness she left behind.

 Hey, Phoenix!

Your sixth sense is damn accurate, isn't it? I was trying a more unorthodox route of treatment for my little issue, but if you could feel something wrong all the way back to the States, maybe it isn’t working so well, after all. But don't worry M.D., I'm already buying my ticket to Seattle and I'll be a good lab rat for you.

Love,

Nick

 Arizona laughed softly, her eyes welling up with tears that start streaming down her cheeks. Nick was alive and she was going to have enough time to save him. She sniffled a few times, trying to calm down. Nick was coming home. He would be fine. Now, she needed to focus on Jackson Prescott.

Arizona pulled out her files from Hopkins and began to study her case notes of children with short bowel syndrome, so that she could figure out how she could buy enough time for Jackson Prescott, until the transplant arrived.

Honestly, she wanted to strangle Kenley. Repeating the same procedure twelve times, what the hell was he thinking?! Three years spent torturing a poor boy instead of leaving his comfort zone!

She would arrive in the OR tomorrow with a real plan and she would show everyone why she was (or rather, would become) one of the greatest pediatric surgeons in the country.

***

Arizona arrived early at the hospital so she could organize Kenley's charts. She picked up Jackson Prescott's binder and took a deep breath, looking at Kenley's notes. She'd like to just put the boy on the transplant list, right away. But Bailey would fight her every step of the way, and this was an unnecessary fight. She could save as much bowel as possible, as well as remove the most damaged part of his liver, which would give her more reasons for the transplant request. She nodded to herself, thinking that it was a solid plan. Before leaving her new office, she smiled at Kai. Her angel was barefoot and wearing only black sweatpants, his huge white wings folded and dragging on the floor as he walked a few steps behind her.

They had talked and settled on Kai always being around (even if sometimes he disappeared from her sight completely) to guide her through the past.

Arizona skated to the General Surgery Nurse Station. She couldn't contain the huge smile on her face when she saw the young - still a resident - Miranda Bailey.

"Doctor Bailey!" she called, moving toward her and extending her hand. “Arizona Robbins” she introduced herself. The future chief of surgery looked at her hand for a moment before shaking it, with obvious hesitation on her face. "I'm taking over Doctor Kenley's patients."

“You are the peds surgeon.”

"Yeah," she confirmed nodding her head, the permanent smile on her face. "I see you’re assisting with Jackson Prescott." Arizona paused a moment to breathe. “With all due respect to Dr. Kenley, he was a wonderful physician, but I'm surprised he has insisted on this course of treatment for so long. When it wasn't - you know - working.” Arizona studied Bailey's face, watching her friend take a deep breath, clearly annoyed with her. Dammit, she had offended Bailey. Again! "Oh, no I'm not criticizing you!" She quickly amended. "You didn’t make the call."

"Yeah, but I supported the call," Bailey recited, pushing the chair away from the desk. Bailey took a deep breath and began trying to explain. “We hadn't turned the corner yet, but Kenley was sure that if we kept on doing what we were doing-”

"Jackson's case is quite severe," Arizona interrupted. They had no time for these debates.

The boy is dying Bailey. Every minute counts. I need you to trust me. Arizona thought worriedly. Bailey looked at her incredulously.

"If you're suggesting we were torturing him with useless procedures..."

Arizona smiled. Bailey was still Bailey. "A lot of senior peds surgeons believe stritoroplasty works, and sometimes they're right." That was enough for Bailey to nod in agreement with her. Arizona took a deep breath. She knew she couldn't go straight for the transplant, but that didn't mean she wasn't frustrated "So, we'll go with this, today, but with his liver disease, we need to start exploring other options." She paused a moment just to smile at Bailey. "I’ve got to run." She said pulling away. “Dr. Kenley had a big case load. I will see you at the OR!” She said before taking off and skating away.

A giggle she barely managed to hold back almost escaped her mouth. If she could, she would be skating all day. Arizona had cried a little, while putting on her heelies that morning. She was skating again. Arizona stopped before entering the locker room to prepare for Jackson's surgery… Unfortunately, she doubts the nurses would let her skate into the OR.

***

Arizona smiled as she saw Karev preparing to enter the OR. She quickly began cutting, with a precision far superior to someone who had just finished their fellowship. She took a deep breath, knowing the mess that would be inside the boy.

"Karev, can you pull the retractor more?" She asked.

Her future resident obeyed the order without hesitation, knowing exactly how much more pressure to apply. "Like this?"

She agreed. "Yeah, great."

Arizona shook her head. "Look at this. It is a mess. He'll have maybe ten centimeters of bowel when we're done here.”

“Wow, wow, wow… Can't we try Bianchi's procedure to try to save some more, then?” Bailey interrupted anxiety clear in her voice.

Arizona didn't even deign to look at the resident in front of her. “The bowels are dead, and the liver is cirrhotic. There is no way to save anything.”

"Yeah, but-"

“Dr. Bailey, this kid should have been on the transplant list a year ago. It is a miracle that he’s still alive.” Arizona took a deep breath. (“Teach them Arizona. They are your ducklings.” Norman McHale's voice, her former mentor echoing in her mind.) “This is what happens when you insist on the same procedure twelve times…. All right, what we’re going to do is try to keep as much of his bowel as possible. He’ll need to go on liver dialysis as soon as this is over. I know we have some machines here for a clinical study but keeping this child alive is a priority. And we'll need a transplant… Laura.” she called the intern who was watching the surgery. “This boy goes on the transplant list today. Go get the paperwork ready. Intestine and liver.”

“I think we should ask for another opinion.” Bailey interrupted her again.

Arizona looked at Bailey. "Laura, as an order from your attendant, go get the paperwork ready."

As soon as the OR door closed again, she moved her focus to the child in front of her. “Dr. Bailey, as soon as we get out of here, I'll give you the cell phone number of Norman McHale, the head of Pediatric Surgery at Hopkins. You'll say Arizona send you, and he'll say Jackson needs a transplant two minutes into the call.”

“There is no need to snap at me-”

"Actually, there is," Arizona replied. “You're good, Bailey. You could be a great pediatric surgeon, and you have what it takes to be chief of surgery one day. But you are still a resident. Which means you are still in training and still learning. And what you need to learn today is that repeating the same procedure twelve times won't bring different results, and Dr Kenley put this boy at risk. And in medicine, and especially in peds, your focus cannot be on you, or the attendant you're working with, but on the patient. You don't know me yet, I’m the stranger in a ponytail and you liked and trusted Kenley, but that doesn't change the facts.”

Karev looked at Bailey's astonished face. The rest of the surgery was done in silence.

***

Arizona collapsed on her couch that night, grunting. "God, I had forgotten how frustrating Bailey could be."

Kai laughed hoarsely. "I think you're the first doctor who acknowledged that she's still a resident."

Arizona sighed turning her cell phone in her hand. She missed the social networks and games on her old phone (well, future phone). And the tablets, which had greatly improved the efficiency in the hospital. She didn't like working with so much paper anymore. "Do you think she'll hate me? We’ve never really butt heads like that before…"

Kai shook his head, his black curls bobbing almost childishly. "I think she'll respect you. You're fighting for this child. She sure appreciates that."

Arizona nodded absently. It had been almost a week since Jackson's surgery had taken place. No compatible donors yet. And no excuses to talk to Calliope. Or Mark. God, she'd missed Mark. And Lexie was still there. She sighed. Kai had advised her to let things progress naturally. So, she would try to focus on Jackson for now. And soon, soon she could get closer to her friends. She fell asleep, still lying on her couch, being woken up a few hours later by the sound of her pager.

"Shit, 911."

Arizona jumped off the couch, still smiling at her left leg as she put on her sneakers and bolted out the door.

***

She spotted Bailey outside Jackson's room as she straightened her white coat.

"I'm up, I'm here." she announced trying to ward off her tiredness. "What happened?"

The resident walked fast to her, preventing her from entering the room. "Jackson's BP has gone down a little since yesterday. No big deal, but if we make a few calls and be a little pushy, we might be able to pass him a little further on the transplant list."

Arizona looked at her resident, shocked. "Dr. Bailey, you paged me 911 at 2:30 in the morning. To chat?"

Bailey looks embarrassed for a second. "You like to chat. You're chatty."

Arizona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Not at 2:30 in the morning!" She looked at Bailey, worried for a moment. "Look, he's young, he's almost at the top of the list. UNOS will find a donor for him as soon as it’s possible" (or Webber will do it, just like last time) "And God knows that staying up all night chatting about it won’t help. I'll try to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same. "

"He’s running out of time," Bailey complained in a chocked-up voice.

Arizona smiled sadly. She had almost forgotten about this insecure Bailey. "They always are. Welcome to peds" she repeated her words.

***

Arizona was preparing a coffee for herself. She had forgotten that there were twenty other children who needed her care besides Jackson. And she had just sent one of them home along with her parents, because there was simply no treatment. And she was frustrated. Because there was treatment. That hadn’t yet been finalized. Anyway, she had recommended the girl for clinical research, but her parents didn't want her to be a guinea pig. She had only been taking a few minutes to compose herself when Bailey found her.

"Okay, I made a list of the best pediatrics GAs in the country. I think between the two of us, we can get one of those guys to come here and do a TIPS procedure on him."

Arizona took a deep breath. She knew how to do a TIPS procedure. She was excellent at TIPs procedures. To hell with the technicality of… You know, not actually having learnt them yet here. She didn't need another surgeon intruding into her OR and trying to tell her what to do, ordering her and bossing her around and most importantly distracting her from her job. A job at which she excels, thank you very much. "Firstly, I am perfectly capable of performing a TIPS procedure," she began. "And secondly, doing a TIPS procedure on a boy who needs a new liver is putting a band aid in a bullet hole."

Bailey looked exasperated. "Well, do you have a better idea?"

Arizona smiled, rolling her eyes. "I have. Wait for UNOS. Trust the process. Why can't you?"

That was enough to piss Bailey off. "Because I'm tired of waiting while this child gets worse! Jackson is tired! His mother is tired! The only one who is content to sit on her ass and wiggle your fingers waiting is you!"

This ignited Arizona’s temper. "Look, I've been patient with you, I've been nice, but I am really over you constantly telling me how to do my job!”

"Well, clearly someone has to!”

"I have twenty other children-"

"And I am concerned over this one child!"

"SHUT UP"

Arizona stopped arguing with Bailey staring at the door where Karev was standing. She hadn't even noticed him there.

"Respectfully," he corrected himself, "respectfully shut up. Because we have organs," he announced with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow.

Arizona swallowed hard. She was the attending physician. She would have to go, on a small plane, with Karev to fetch these organs.

She nodded quickly. "Dr. Bailey, you know the procedure. Go get Jackson ready. Doctor Karev we'll go get those organs."

***

Arizona was sweating cold as they boarded the plane. She sighed as she sat in the front row. Lexie had sat in the back, and she was dead, so Arizona couldn't get past the third row of any kind of aircraft.

But Lexie isn’t dead she thought, trying to breathe. Lexie is just fine. Lexie is going to be fine, if I have anything to do with it.

Since it was just the two of them, she expected Karev to choose a seat away from her, only to be surprised when he sat right beside her.

Arizona couldn't speak, fear (your leg is still here. you're safe) forming a lump in her throat.

Kai sat behind her, one hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Arizona. You are safe." Her angel reassured her.

As the plane began to accelerate for take-off, she closed her eyes, only to be surprised when Karev gripped one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She squeezed back until the plane was high when she finally managed to breathe again. "I... Thank you."

Alex just shrugged. "Fear of flying?"

She nodded. "I ..." (I was in a plane crash. But she hasn’t. Not yet. Hopefully, not ever) "I always feel closer to death on planes than in the OR."

Karev nodded and went back to ignoring her.

"I saw Izzie the other day" (she doesn't deserve you Alex, she'll break your heart. Jo will arrive soon and she's perfect for you).

Alex nodded. "Yeah"

Arizona smiled. "It's nice. You're a beautiful couple" (you and Jo will be even better).

She let Karev spend the rest of the trip pretending to be asleep. But he took her hand again as soon as the commander warned that they would begin the descent. Arizona smiled. The golden heart was there.

***

The next time Karev spoke to her was when he saw the patient from whom they would take the organs.

"It's just a kid."

Arizona nodded, knowing what it was like to deal with the shock for the first time. "Yes. Let's get the organs."

***

Alex didn't look up during the entire procedure. Not even when she explained aloud what she was doing and the differences in anatomy between adults and children for him.

When they got back to the plane, he didn't sit next to her either.

She took a deep breath. "Spit it out Karev. Don't brood."

He glared at her. "We just got a little boy's intestine and liver out. A dead little boy! And you don't mind! You didn't even blink during the whole procedure, and now you stand there, shaking in fear of a plane, but you didn't care about that kid!"

Arizona stared at her hands in her lap shaking. "I know they unplugged that little boy. Do you think I don't get that? Do you think I don't know about the tiny coffin they're going to stick him in? I know all about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time. In my sleep.” She took a deep breath “But we move on Karev. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and move on. To the next child."

Karev turned forward still angry. But as the plane was about to descend, he reached out to her hand through the aisle.

Arizona gripped his hand tightly. Fear consumed her, but a part of her was proud. Here was her pediatric surgeon.

***

The transplant surgery was quiet and calm. Arizona took a deep breath. They had been faster this time. Jackson's treatment was more advanced.

Kai was watching over her shoulder. "Everything looks fine on my end."

Arizona smiled and nodded. "Finishing the vena cava."

Karev smiled at her. "Anastomosis looks good."

Bailey smiled. "Now all that’s left is to release the clamps."

Arizona smiled at Bailey. God, she loved how she used a stool to get taller, so she had a better view of the patient. "Do the honors, Miranda. He’s your patient."

Bailey smiled at her. "Thank you, Dr. Robbins"

She watched carefully as Bailey removed the clamps, paying attention to the dark marks, but she didn’t need to.

"Call on me!" intern Sadie Harris interrupted. "There is a spot on the duodenum."

Arizona looked at that angrily. Damn it, not again! She shook her head.

"What the hell is that ?!" Bailey snapped.

Arizona took over immediately. "Necrosis… Dammit! Get the organs out now! We'll need a new transplant, looks like we're going to do a TIPS procedure, Bailey."

"This can't be happening..." Bailey started tearfully. "Not to this little boy."

Arizona was already putting new clamps. "Dr. Harris help Dr. Bailey step away, Dr. Karev you're taking over."

Sadie immediately moved behind Bailey. "No, I can go on!" Bailey protested her eyes full of tears.

Arizona did not raise her eyes as she removed the increasingly dark organs. "That's an order, Miranda. Karev!"

Karev forcibly removed Bailey, quickly picking up the instruments. "How long to find new organs?"

"Twenty-four hours. Maybe more, since he was already on liver dialysis." Arizona warned. "Harris, Bailey, find all interns and residents. Someone in Seattle must be compatible with this boy and I want all hands-on deck, working on finding new organs. Now!”

Arizona didn't even have time to look up to see the mighty Dr. Bailey, running out of an OR to follow an order.

***

Arizona collapsed when she got home. "I did everything right!" she said tearfully to Kai. "Everything! And yet, Jackson is dying and its days earlier, which means the original donor for Jackson isn’t there!"

Kai sighed and sat beside her. "Arizona. Take a deep breath. Whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

Arizona shook her head. "He's already on the liver dialysis machine. That gives us an advantage. Still..."

And in that moment, it was as if a light bulb appeared above Arizona's head. She ran back out her door, and rushed back to the hospital, just in time to see Bailey, crying outside.

“Dr. Bailey?” she called softly.

“I want off this case.” She whispered. “Oh God, I want off this case. I want off... This little boy is going to die, and I just don’t want to be here to see it. I just don’t want… I just want off. I want off this case. I want off!”

Arizona shook her head. "Jackson is already on liver dialysis, but we can put him on peritoneal dialysis. This will delay any swelling in the brain and not require further surgery."

Bailey looked at her in surprise. "It doesn't solve the problem of..."

Arizona nodded. "No. But it will buy us time. I'll do the procedure, and don't let anyone rest until we get those organs."

***

When Arizona had set up everything to begin the dialysis procedure, Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens hurried through the door. She smiled at the two, watching as they quickly took over their positions.

"Arizona, don't let this woman work with needles. Something's not right with her." Kai murmured in her ear.

She nodded. "Doctor Stevens, switch places with Doctor Karev. He's been working with this boy for a while."

Izzie nodded in confusion, going to hold the ultrasound while Alex took over the catheter.

Arizona refocused on the boy, but she noticed Izzie looking anguished while staring at something behind her.

She began to instruct Karev in detail, on what they were doing and for what purpose.

"Shut up," she heard Izzie mutter.

"What was that?" she asked to the blonde doctor incredulously. This resident had not just told her to shut up during such a delicate procedure. She wouldn’t dare... Karev looked equally concerned.

"Nothing. Sorry Doctor Robbins" Izzie said louder this time.

Melinda Prescott entered the room. "Has UNOS said anything?"

Arizona looked at the doctor holding the ultrasound. "Dr. Stevens will call them again. And contact Dr. Bailey and see if any of our doctors were lucky." she said to the woman, who was clearly and understandably worried. Izzie was looking around anxiously and didn’t move to carry out the order. "Doctor Stevens, are you paying attention?!"

Kai shook his head. "Arizona, no. There’s something wrong with her, this doctor isn’t all here."

"Dr. Stevens, ask at the nurses' station to make the calls. And then go get some rest."

Izzie nodded, almost in a daze, propping the ultrasound on the patient's bed and leaving the room. Arizona and Karev finished the procedure in silence.

"Dr. Robbins, Izzie... She was tired. We’ve all been up all night trying to find the organs and-"

Arizona silenced Karev with a gesture. "It's okay. Just talk to her. This is a serious case, Karev."

Arizona took a deep breath, appreciating her work. "Good job here Alex." she complimented. "I'll make the rounds, try to talk to Izzie, okay?"

***

Arizona was returning from her rounds to check Jackson's PIC when George O'Malley came running toward her, Richard Webber right behind him.

"I got it Dr. Robbins!" George announced "We have the organs! OR number 3!"

Arizona looked into the room, Jackson's PIC still below the limit. She nodded. "Great job O'Malley" she said with a smile on her face.

***

The surgery went well, and Jackson's heart didn't stop. Not even once. After they sent the boy to Recovery, Arizona leaned against the wall taking a deep breath.

Miranda Bailey stopped next to Arizona. "I... I didn't think you could handle this case. After today I think you were the only person who could have ever handled it." she said softly. "I almost crossed a line today. Before O'Malley arrived... I was going to ask Derek Shepherd to let a man die so I could save this boy. But I didn't break my oath. Thanks to you."

Arizona laughed softly and took Bailey's hand. "You are an excellent doctor, Miranda. I know you, and when it comes down to it, you will always do the right thing… And thank you. For trusting me."

Arizona gave Bailey one last soft smile and turned back to staring at the walls quietly, cherishing these few moments of peace and letting the immense feelings of gratefulness flow through her, still in awe of this new chance at life she was given. She sighed softly and let her head fall back against the wall, content in the feelings of achievement and camaraderie shared between her and the woman who would one day be one of her closest friends.

[amadryades]

I'm in the last year of high school and I seriously need tips to improve my academic performances. You seem really knowledgeable, so can you recommend any methods?

Thank you for your words! Every person has their own unique academic personality so I’m always hesitant to recommend any guaranteed methods. Anyway, here are is a brief, abridged list of my tactics during the two last years of high school, some of which you might find helpful.

I observed and took note of the hours I was the most producative and organized my study routine around my biological clock. For example, my mind literally switches off after 10:00 pm so I made sure I would have finished my assignments until that time, and I scheduled my extracurricular classes to be around 5-6 pm. I never, not once pulled an all-nighter.

I removed my laptop and phone from my room, they were weekend luxuries.

However, I allowed myself the luxury of a radio, I owe a huge part of my success to classical music

Every Friday evening I would write down all my assignements for the next week in order of importance, and I would immediately start from the harder ones

A 20 min. power nap can work wonder, I swear.

Healthy eating too. And 30 min. of daily exercise

Quality over quantity.Studying for 2 hours and giving your everything is preferable than 4 hours of relaxed studying. Follow this and your weekends will always be free.

Until one month before the final exams, Sunday was my sacred day. I wouldn’t touch a book on Sundays.

This may sound extreme ( and it is), but I tried to humble myself as much as possible. I decided to pretend my profs'the praises weren’t destined to me, but I would write down every criticism, including the one’s teachers made to my peers. I’d also correct my ancient greek translations with ped pen to prove myself I was nothing special.

I kept a low profile. Many of my classmates had this attitude like they were already admitted to Law and Med school, let me tell you not even one (1) of them did. 

I tried to ignore peers and teachers who belittled/ mocked the faculties that interested me, I failed. Please don’t.

Spite can be motivating. After a public humiliation from my latin teacher, I pinned a post-it above my desk with the grades I opted to have: 100/100 at Biology, Latin and History. above 90/100 at Ancient Greek, Literature and Modern Greek. I achieved 4/6 of my goals, and Latin was one of them.

Most importantly: I trully, wholeheartedly enjoyed my courses, and that saved my sanity. I would write down things that impressed me and try to make a tiny research every weekend, as soon as I opened my laptop. I didn’t see my study as a chore, not  for one minute.

P.S : I know most kids are motivated by a goal, the faculty they want to be admitted in. I didn’t have a specific goal in mind, just a general inclination towards the humanities, and I think this flexibility helped me.

Please remember that these might prove useless to you, feel free to keep whatever might suit you and ignore the rest. This military discipline I followed and the pressure put on me by my social environment all manifested themselves the summer after finals and I still battle with it, so please don’t be that hard on yourself. I wish you all the best!

[desimedicos]

New Post has been published on Desi Medicos

New Post has been published on http://www.desimedicos.com/interview-dr-avirup-majumdar-rank-342-neet-pg-2017/

Interview of Dr. Avirup Majumdar: Rank 342 in NEET PG 2017

Dr. Avirup Majumdar has secured Rank 342 in NEET PG 2017 which was held in December 2016. He has also scored rank 342 in AIIMS November PG 2016 and rank 229 in JIPMER PG November 2016. He has done his MBBS from North Bengal Medical College.

Interview

Q. In what year did you pass out your MBBS (Completion of Internship)?

Ans. 2015.

Q. What were your MBBS percentage marks (aggregate or final year)?

Ans. 69.90%

Q. What ranks had you secured in any previous PG medical entrance exams you gave?

Ans. AIPGMEE 2016 – Rank 4391

Q. Could you please tell us something about yourself? Ans. I have done my MBBS from North Bengal Medical College, Siliguri, West Bengal. I have been a consistent student throughout my MBBS career, secured good ranks in departmental quizzes. I was the Senior Class Assistant (prosector) in Pharmacology. I come from a non-medical family; my father is Retired Insurance Officer, Engineer .my brotEngineer.I used to play Tabla and drawing was my hobby. Im a fun loving guy, love to read good novels, hanging out with friends.

Q. What is the secret of your success?

Ans. In one word “FOCUS” . The most important mantra of my performance was Perseverance . The zeal of securing a good rank and consistently taking it to the end made my ranks possible. I kept almost the same amount of energy throughout my preparatory phase, trust me it is difficult but it is definitely POSSIBLE.

Q. How was your internship?

Ans. Internship in my college was too hectic . In peripheral colleges like ours, there is a lot of workload on Interns and Housestaffs , because of less number PGTs and senior doctors. I could not study during my internship and so didn’t sit for the entrance exams that year.

Q. When did you seriously start preparing for the entrance exam?

Ans.  As mentioned, I didn’t attempt PG during my Internship. I joined Housestaffship last year in Department of Chest Medicine. I started reading from that period but I knew my preparation was not upto the mark as I had difficulty managing my duties and focussed study. I started focussed preparation from April this year.

Q. How many hours did you study each day? How long do you think students need to prepare for cracking PG medical entrance exams?

Ans. I seriously didn’t have any rigid time table. I used to read late at night, early morning studies is not my cup of tea. In the initial phase it used to be around 10 hours approx. Last 2 months it was upto 12 hours maximum.

There should not be any fixed hours of study, its absolutely individualistic. No matter how long it takes , one should cover as he/she is supposed to complete on that day.. It should be target-oriented, not time-oriented.

Q. Which books did you read for the theory part?

Ans. Seriously speaking I had little time to read theory part of all subjects.. I read them very often for references.

Harrison’s Internal Medicine should always be the mother book.

Q. Which books did you read for the MCQs? Which MCQ books were the most productive and which were least?

Ans. Anatomy – Arora Physio, Biochem, FSM – Across Medicine – Mudit Khanna Surgery – Amit Ashis Radio – Sumer Sethi G&O – Sakshi arora Ortho – Apurv Mehra Short subjcts- Across Peds – Taruna Mehra Patho, Pharma – Garg Micro, ENT- Rachna Chaurasia Plus questions of previous years’ AIIMS and AIPG

Q. Which subjects did you focus on?

Ans. All the 19 subjects are important.. but obviously the big ones like Medicine , Surgery, G&O , Patho, Pharma.. Short subjects like FSM, Skin,Psychiatry, Micro, Biochem are equally important and differentiating.

Q. What were your study methods? How many revisions did you do for each subject? Did you make any changes in your study methods in your recent attempts?

Ans. I had no class notes, I used to study on my own from the MCQ books i had. I used to make notes on every useful update I got . DAMS Exclusive Club on Facebook was quite helpful in this regard. Initially I took one subject at a time and finish it completely but later when things would slow down, I made a change..I used to take one subject and when it got slow I shifted to another subject and come back to it later on. With this I improved my speed quite well. I could revise the whole syllabus twice before the final exam.

Q. Did you do any special preparation for image-based questions?

Ans. I attended DAMS DVT classes for images.

Q. What was your strategy for the exam day? How many questions did you attempt and why? How many do you think you got correct?

Ans. My strategy was to keep my brain calm so that it can perform at its peak level. Good sleep , light breakfast and an empty bladder and rectum are must.I attempted all questions in NEET. Around 220-230 must have been correct.

Q. Do think there should be a different strategy for preparation of different entrance exams like AIIMS-PG, PGI and DNB CET?

Ans. PGI is different. I dont know much about it as I didnt appear for it.. For AIIMS , focus should be on conceptual and image based questions . For NEET and DNB one liners are more frequently asked, images are asked less often in these exams.

Q. Did you join any classes or test series? Was it useful?

Ans. “Yes.. I joined DAMS Online Test Series this year. I attended DVT classes by DAMS. Yes ofcourse, giving regular subject wise tests and grand tests, tracking the marks obtained, pointing out the weak areas and working on it was my core strategy. DAMS DVT classes were also useful specially for images as asked nowadays in AIIMS exams.”

Q. Who or what influenced you to take up Medicine?

Ans. My own choice to become a healer..

Q. In which field do you want to specialize in? Why?

Ans. “General Medicine Because it is the only subject which covers everything, the mother branch of medical sciences. Your thinking domains are limitless in Medicine.Its difficult to describe Medicine in one word..”

Q. What seat have you been allotted in counselling? Did you join?

Ans. Not alloted till now.. Last year I was alloted Diploma in Ophthalmology which I declined.

Q. What is your advice to future aspirants?

Ans. Keep up the flare and hunger inside you. Dont get too uptight, it is not the end of everything.It is necessary to relax a bit, but dont get off the track either. Stay focussed , stay healthy, think positive.. Success is sure to come..

Q. Indian PG entrances are highly competitive, so to crack them students end up in appearing for multiple PG exams with some of them having the same exam with different slots and papers, please extend your views on this and their pros and cons of appearing in multiple PG entrances.

Ans. I support single exam NEET wholeheartedly..

We are ending this interview with our hearty congratulations and best wishes for future to this talented person, Dr. Avirup Majumdar.