Collage/University AU Jarthur where they are roommates and absolutely hate each other for the first few weeks before they bond over something completely nonsensical
I had to sit there. in my fucking car. and listen with my own two goddamn ears. MY OWN EARS. as hua cheng said, after a small smile and a moment of silence, that the WORST suffering in the world, “is watching a beloved one be beaten and ridiculed and not being able to do anything about it”
I had to hear that hua cheng the highest ranking, demon, king of ghost city, devastation say in his almost a millennia of living, the worst suffering he’s ever seen, witnessed, or felt was him being unable to help his beloved, his xie lian.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL STATE RIGHT NOW????? LIKE DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH???? IM ACTUALLY GOING TO PUT A BULLET THROUGH MY CHEST I CANT FUCKING DO THIS I CANNOT I CANT FUNCTION WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!?????
god sometimes ill look at old spn clips on youtube while looking for scenes for amvs and the audio is just so fucking loud and crispy and fried it feels like this
like my volume is at not even half its max capacity why is castiel screaming at me.