#so i feel like I can justify her talking about her angsty guilty pleasure to eda

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: four page comic of the owl house. Page 1: Eda walks past Luz, Gus and Willow, who're sat on the floor of the owl house around a box labeled "Eda's Music". Eda notices them and peeks around the corner asking "uh, hey kid- whatcha doin?". Luz says "oh hey Eda!".

Page 2: Luz says "we were just going through all your old human music!" While holding a CD case. She continues "I've been getting nostalgic listening to some old latin pop CDs, like what my mom used to play around the house! (You have a surprising amount of merengue music btw)". Gus sheds a single tear and says "I've sampled human music before but, wow, just, wow! The technique...the inspiration...Carly Rae Jepsen is a genius". Willow looks to the side and says "and I've been listening to your old breakup mixtapes!".

Page 3: Eda looks at her blankly before saying "my what?". Willow says- "your breakup music! There's a whole box of it. I'm pretty over it now but back in the day...when Amity stopped hanging out with me...it hit me hard. I kinda had a phase of only listening to angsty breakup songs for like...a month. Maybe more. It's kinda sad in retrospect".

In the background we can see a flashback of young willow sobbing in bed while summoning vines to cover photos of her and Amity on her wall. Willow continues "things are a lot better now don't get me wrong...but I still listen to that playlist every once in a while when I need a release". Eda contemplates, then grimaces, remembering breakup with Raine (who's pictured saying "it's over, eda").

Page 4: Eda looks at Willow. She eventually says "wanna trade?" And Willow looks up. Final panel shows Luz standing in the doorway concerned as she looks at Willow and Eda. willow is kneeling in front of a casette player and headphones with a shadowy expression and Eda is in the family guy death post with a phone and headphone wire next to her. Both have annotations- Willow's says "got One of Us by ABBA" and Eda's is "got Nightshift by Lucy Dacus". Luz says "you guys good?". End ID]

*slides my Eda and Willow trade angsty breakup songs on s2A hc across the table*

[liquorisce]

Hey I just found out about your fics! I love it. Are you still going to write some EM fics? You're awesome!

Anon thank you so much for reading my beloved eremika stories! i am so glad that you enjoyed them. there are so many versions of eremika that take up space in my head - childhood em, high school em, eren-is-a-screwup-modern-au, vamp-au em, gosh i can go on forever. 

tbh i really really do want to still write em. especially now with snk getting more and more exciting with every chapter the EM feels are STRONG. but basically i fell prey to some writer anxiety and some “my fics are so shitty compared to other awesome authors” bs and i kinda stopped for a bit. 

but 2020 has been good to me and i am back. and because i am so grateful for your readership and support (and all the others who have been so lovely about my work), i wanted to share this recent excerpt from my wips folder. i have no idea if its just trash, but is completely self-indulgent, dramatic and angsty, and features eremika +arumika so my fav kind. here you go ~

rating: m

parings: eremika / arumika [shingeki no kyojin]

words: 1070 ish

"You never told me," he says, his voice faint from the corner of the room, where he leans against the wall, his golden hair bathed in the pale moonlight. 

"Armin," Eren exclaims, startled, "I didn't see you there." He's just out of the shower, hot beads of water growing cold on his skin as he sees the strangest expression on his best friend's face, blank and somewhat stony, something he has never seen before. 

"Anyway," he teases lightly, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Mikasa right now?" 

"I don't know." Armin has never sounded this far away and it scares him. He shouldn't be here, standing so eerily in the corner like a ghost, with that haunted look in his eyes... on his wedding night.

"Why didn't you tell me Eren?"  

A cold dread sweeps through him. Had Mikasa told him after all? Had she decided the extent of their debauchery was too dirty a secret to keep from her husband?

It’s the darker voice in his mind that wonders, had she told him how many times he had taken her that night and how much she had loved it, how many times she had screamed his name?

His cheeks burn at the memory, a scarlet visual that he cannot bring himself to regret, for he does not regret anything more than the fact that he could not make her his, that this illicit liaison of theirs was one that would never happen again, that her touch, warm and passionate that it was, was something he would never have the pleasure of experiencing ever again. 

Even now when Armin stands in front of him asking him questions that he probably shouldn't, and there is guilt, true and justified on his features, guilt that he deserves to feel, the smallest fraction of his heart throbs with remorseless sorrow because the woman he loves would never be his. 

Because that one day, and night, those precious hours Eren had spent with her in his arms were as good as an illusion. She had made her choice, and it wasn't him. 

But he feigns ignorance anyway. "What are you talking about? Are you okay?”

“Me? Today I married the girl I’ve loved my entire life,” the sarcasm dripped right through, “… I’m great!”

He can’t stop the bitterness that creeps into his voice. “I thought everything went really well today, didn’t it? Everyone was gushing about what a perfect wedding it was… what a perfect bride.”

“She really is, isn’t she?” Armin’s voice is cold, his ice-blue gaze unflinching. "I’m sure you thought so. As for the wedding… it’s not exactly perfect when the best man spends the entire evening staring at the bride." Armin's laugh is harsh, forced, seeking humor where there is none. 

"It's not normal when the man who's giving her away holds onto her so tight, like he never wants to let go." 

"I'm not stupid, Eren," his voice cracks a little, hysterical with the weight of truth that he has seen on his wedding day. 

"You've never been stupid Armin," Eren says quietly, the oppressive feeling of guilt now unlocked from its cage consuming him entirely. 

He looks at his best friend, still fresh in his wedding suit, neat bow and everything, hair swept back, shoulders broad and tall. he sees the despair etched on every single one of Armin's honest, beautiful features, tearing at him from within. 

He’d just said his vows to the girl he always dreamed of marrying, and never ever had Eren seen anyone more miserable. 

So he does his best to crack up a smile. "It's not that big of a deal, you know," he says lightly, "besides, we would have been terrible together. Too much fighting." He crinkles his nose in mock disgust. 

Armin doesn't look convinced, he looks the same, desperate, guilty, like he's the one who's done something wrong, and it kills Eren.

It slays him. Because never, not for one second has he been even one tenth of the friend that Armin deserves. Especially not yesterday, when his hands had been so greedy to cover every inch of Armin’s now-wife roaming, kneading their way to her pleasure.

"If she had known, maybe..." 

Maybe she would have changed her mind, is what he wants to say but the thought chokes in his throat. But Eren knows what he's thinking and he's quick to reassure him. "She wouldn't have chosen this life if she didn't love you." 

But It isn't love for me when she looks at you the that way, the same way you look at her, like everyone else is just background noise, he thinks, but he doesn't say it because he knows the truth in those words, and fears it will only amplify when spoken out loud.

There is no more of this that Eren can bear, this self-righteous guilt and sadness and despair flowing out of Armin. He's tried to be happy for him, and her, because this will keep them inside the walls, or at the very least within the realms of society as they knew it… a life far safer than the journey he would set forth upon. 

It killed him when he had to see Armin kiss her, hesitant, soft, the lightest smile playing out at his lips and answering breath from hers, but he forced himself to watch. 

He had forced the spears further into himself untill he had thought he would be sick, sick with hatred and jealousy and all things impure. 

But he had watched faithfully and tried to work up a smile because this was the happiness of his two most precious people and he would protect it. 

And now Armin stood in front of him, miserable, as if he were ruined, as if the one person he had desired above everything was taken away from him. 

It was something that Eren could not bear any longer. He would tell Armin all of this, if he had thought it would bring him peace but it wouldn't, it would just shatter their relationship and everything it meant to him. 

So he turns away, signalling an end to this conversation. 

"Go to your wife," and the bitterness is loud, screaming in Eren's words, splintering harshly. "She's probably waiting for you." 

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see.