#so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD.

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

[searchingthedepths]

Sugarplum Dreams

Faye and Bella have a heartfelt conversation within the dream world. 

From the Desk of F.K.E.

Everything was dark and blurry, save for a single beam of light from above. Bella carefully tried to stand up. She felt lost and disoriented in the darkness. It blanketed everything like a wet washcloth, like it couldn’t decide if it wanted to be warm or cold. She took some steps towards the spotlight, squinting to try and see what was under it. She could discern a figure, a very petite figure, clad in black and white with bits of gray. She rubbed at her eyes, but nothing could clear her blurry vision. Strange, she had perfect eyesight, never needed glasses before, why couldn’t she see anything?

            “Bella? Can you hear me?” A voice called out. A gentle voice, a little childish, feminine, charming, a voice just like…

            “Faye? Faye is that you! Where are you?”

            “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here.”

            The spotlight and the figure under it walked closer to Bella, until they were right in front of her. Though she was still blurry, Bella could still understand when she motioned for her to come closer. She kneeled beside the petite form, and in turn, the figure gave her a peck on the cheek and rubbed her eyes. After blinking a few times, Bella’s vision was crystal clear.

Before her was an adorable cartoon character. She was a little fairy, small sure, but graceful and majestic in ways Bella hadn’t expected. She had beautiful curly hair in the darkest black pigment that went down to the backs of her knees. Around her head was a lovely wreath of silvery leaves. Her clothing looked like it was made from all the things you’d commonly find in nature, leaves, vines, and flower petals. But of course, the main attraction had to be her fluttering wings. They were gorgeous, as though crafted from the finest silk, they glittered as they moved in the light.

“You alright Bell-bell?”

Yep, this was definitely Faye, no doubt about that. Bella had so many questions, but she wasn’t sure where to start.

“Faye, what are you doing here? I-is this really you?”

The fairy giggled and held Bella’s hand in hers. “Yeah, it’s really me. I know you haven’t seen me like this before, but it won’t be long before I look like this all the time for you, well, minus the wings. Those are just my own creative license.” She squeezed Bella’s hand gently. “Sammy asked me to make sure you stayed asleep while he got work done, so I entered your dreams for the night.”

“Wait, what? Why would-”

“He has a lot of ritual stuff to do tonight, prepping your body and all that jazz. I know, it’s probably really weird to talk about this,” she blushed a dark gray and looked away, “I guess this is just a normal enough occurrence for me that it’s not so weird anymore.”

“Faye, n-no worries, okay? Look, it’s not the most comfortable idea in the world, but I’ll learn to get over it, alright?” Bella wrapped her arms tightly around the little fairy and hugged her. “I don’t understand a lot of what’s going on, but it’s gonna be okay. I have to trust you guys, you know what you’re doing.”

Faye sniffled a little and hid her face in Bella’s chest. “You’re so different from all the other humans. They all tried to get out of the studio, even when they knew they couldn’t. I don’t get it, why haven’t you tried to run away?”

Bella thought about this for a moment. She wasn’t sure herself, trying to escape was the logical answer after all.

“Maybe it’s because I’m needed here. Outside the building, there’s not much waiting for me. I have no job, no home, no family, and my best friend is all the way in another state, probably forgot all about me,” she replied. She tried to laugh it off, but she did a horrible job at masking her pain.

“Sounds more like you need us,” Faye said, “I’m sorry about what happened. I wish I could make it all better. That’s what I was made for, to give people joy, but I’m not too good at it. People here are never happy.”

The fairy snuggled up to the human, getting them both to sit on the floor for a while. Bella could relate, she’d felt this often as of late, like no one wanted to be happy, no matter how much she tried to give them a chance at it. But you can’t force people to change, she knew that. She played with Faye’s locks for a while, rubbing her shoulder while she held her tightly.

“Honey, something tells me that the people here would be a lot worse off without you. I’m certain Sammy would be. Sometimes it’s not obvious, but we all help each other in our own ways. Sometimes something small can be so much bigger than it first seems.”

She held Faye closer to her, wondering if that had been the right thing to say. The human knew she wasn’t the greatest at pep talks, but this was Faye, the one person in the world that would never stop believing in the best in people. To be able to keep that belief was important. Bella hadn’t seen her friend interacting with anyone outside of Sammy and Graves, but with them, she knew the fairy was a light in the darkness. Faye cooed, getting comfortable in the human’s arms. She looked so peaceful, Bella thought, they could stay there forever and be totally fine.

The tiny fae eventually wiggled out of Bella’s arms and went to stand back in the spotlight. She plucked one of the leaves from her wreath and kneeled on the ground, lifting it up like dirt and burying the silver plant beneath it. Whispering so softly that the human couldn’t hear it, Faye recited a short incantation, and slowly the darkness lifted. There were sparkles and glittering lights everywhere, a pixie dust that washed away the inky black into a colorful field of flowers. The sky was like a robin’s egg, a protective shell of blue, with a sun shining over the wild orchids and marigolds. Bella forgot to breathe for a moment, taking in the beauty. From the spot where the leaf had been buried, a sapling of a tree had sprouted, delicate and youthful. Faye smiled knowingly and latched onto Bella’s hand.

“We don’t have forever to spend here, but I wanted to give you a safe place to come back to. What’s going to happen soon, it can be…difficult, to adjust to. I just…I don’t want to see you lose yourself,” she said.

Faye had never been hesitant in the brief time Bella had known her. If even Faye was serious and glum about the upcoming ritual, she had every reason to believe that there was something amiss.

“Faye…what’s gonna happen to me? I know you guys have the best intentions, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll all make the right decisions, but I need to know. It’s clearly bothering all of you,” she pleaded. She grasped the fairy’s hand tightly, holding it with both of her own. “I promise, I’ll do whatever I can to make this easier, okay?”

“That’s the thing though, there’s just no way to do that,” Faye looked straight into the human’s eyes, tears forming in her own. “I don’t want to say goodbye, when I’ve only just met you. And now I’ll never get to know you, no one is ever the same once they’ve been submerged.”

Bella nearly felt her heart stop at that. “Goodbye? I don’t understand.” She felt cold inside, shivering.

“There’s something Sammy will tell you, I know for certain he’ll say it. ‘Once you enter the ink, you’ll never be the same again.’ It’s true. I was there for that part, I saw people change. They stopped being themselves after a while, it was horrible. I don’t want to see that happen to you!” She flung herself at the confused human and bawled in her shirt. Bella tried to calm her down, but nothing would stop the tiny child’s sobbing.

“I-I don’t want to see your fire go out…it’s been dim since you got here. Bell-bell, please don’t lose your light, you’re one of the few people I’ve ever seen it in.��

“Hey, hey, calm down Faye,” she said gently. Bella held her close, giving her a peck on her forehead. The fairy whimpered before looking up, wiping the tears from her eyes. Bella held her shoulders firmly, looking her dead in the eyes.

“I may not be the wisest soul on Earth, but this much I know. No matter what happens, I’m still gonna look out for you guys. Faye, nothing could ever take away my love for you. I’m doing this because I believe it can make things better, I have to be okay with whatever happens, or it will never work.”

Faye’s heart sunk. As inspiring of a speech as it was, she saw what really motivated those words. Something grim finally clicked in Faye’s mind.

“You’re dying.”

It was barely a whisper, but in the silence of the flower field, it was easy to hear. Bella merely nodded.

“Is that how you see it? That this is the end?”

“It’s the end of my life as a human, that much is clear.”

She held up her arm and rolled up her sleeve. Even in a dream, the veiny black was still there, it had spread to her wrist, beginning to trail up her pinky.

“How can I be human when I’ve got a piece of the studio in me?”

Faye’s eyes widened, “How did you know?”

“Wasn’t exactly hard to figure out,” Bella replied. She traced over the black veins with her fingertips, as though tracing constellations in the sky. “Before I heard you, there was something else. The darkness, it wasn’t silent. There was something trying to speak, something that hadn’t reached me before. And I could be mistaken, but you’re a part of it, aren’t you?”

Faye sheepishly nodded. “That’s the ink. It has a voice of its own, the voice of the studio and everyone who belonged to it. We’re all together, all a part of something larger.”

“And now it wants Henry and I to become a part of it. It’s not just Sammy’s plans, the ink has something it wants too”

“Exactly.”

“Why though? We’re just ordinary people.”

“You think the rest of them weren’t?” Faye replied, “It doesn’t want to be alone. The people inside it are close to gone, their spirits are broken, and their hearts drained. You’re fresh, something I’m sure it hasn’t seen before, and Henry, he’s a Creator, just like Joey, having him would be valuable. The ink is hungry. It needs a new dream to feed off.”

“A new dream?” Bella asked.

“That’s what summoned its power in the first place. Joey had a dream, something he really wanted, something he wouldn’t stop working towards. But no one remembers what it is, only the ink knows. All I know is that there’s something in the Depths that he’s trying to find, and it has to do with that dream.”

“Hmm…well, I can’t say I have many dreams anymore, most of them disappeared after I lost my job. There’s only one I’ve got left, and something tells me the ink won’t be too happy with it.”

Faye raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“That dream is to save you all from it.”

The fairy chuckled, a pure, tinkling laugh that wasn’t corrupted. “The ink isn’t a monster silly. It doesn’t hurt anyone, just the things that live in it do.”

“Well that’s reassuring,” she replied sarcastically, “Are you saying I’m gonna end up as one of those hurtful things?”

“It’s hard to say for sure,” Bella replied, “Everyone takes to the ink differently, and Joey has different jobs for everyone. I don’t think you’ll ever be asked to harm someone, that’s just not you.”

“But couldn’t that change? I thought you said you were afraid I’d lose myself.”

“I am. There’s no doubt that you’ll be changed, but it’s not like you have no say in that. That’s the wonderful thing about being born as a human, you’re not made for an intended purpose, you get to decide what your path is. I just, well, y’know…”

“You hope I’ll choose a good one, aye?”

Faye nodded quietly, her cheeks flushed. Bella couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh honey, what do I have to worry about? After all, it was your ink that healed me. With a piece of you inside me, I know I’ll never get lost.”

The printmaker held her companion tightly. She’d done her best to be reassuring, that was all she could do. But even with a false sense of confidence, she still felt chilled inside. The prospect of all of this, the idea that she’d be swallowed by something beyond her comprehension was scary. But she had to do it, she’d promised, to do the ritual as well as to save them. There was no backing out now. The fire in her eyes showed itself again, restless and small in its flame. Faye leaned next to her and tried to warm her up. Her inner flame was dim again. It needs some fuel, some extra heat, Faye decided.

“Would you like me to try and explain it? I’m not all that great at it, but you did want to know more, and knowing makes it less scary.”

“Pretty please,” Bella said, “I just want to understand. What does it feel like?”

“Think of it like this. Becoming a Searcher is like being a phoenix. You’re buried in the ashes, but when you come back out them for the first time, you’re still you, just reincarnated to be a little younger and fresher. It’s different, and you’ll have to get used to it, but you’re still you at the core. Who that person is, who you believe yourself to be, that changes with time, but nothing can take that away from you.”

Faye gestured over to the tree sapling. “You see this? There’s a reason I planted this here while you’re still fully human. This tree will grow with you throughout all of this. Some days, it will wilt, other days, it will flourish, but it will only survive if you nurture it. It represents your essence.”

“But how will I know how to care for it?”

“Simple. Take care of yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to take care of you too, we all will.” Faye said, daintily petting her hand.

“Hey, I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you,” Bella said. She pretended to be miffed, which made Faye giggle.

“Nah, it’s mutual. Besides, you’re the baby of the group, someone’s gotta take care of you.”

 For in the end, you will be reborn, little ewe.