#so in all honestly living in a place thats more active w/ more crime does in fact make me mildly nervous

[uwooyoungs]

//

[lunasaturnine]

just a little racial processing

i am white and i have racism ingrained pretty deeply, not in that i dislike black people or other races but in that i really do fr think of white ppl as being the default, and what i do to combat that in my own life is i sit on social media and i stare at and like and reblog pics of black people because i want to change my perception because my perception is SMALL. i especially do this with pics of black people doing super normal things bc i feel like they are really exoticized in the media, either as hooligans or hard-living heroes... instead of just normal people enjoying freedom and prosperity, learning things, etc. i know that black ppl have unique stories and normalcy for them doesnt always match normalcy for white ppl but basic human things are really important to see. 

i have also become more aware of the concept of generational wealth and how black ppl were all set up to start building it after slavery until the jim crow laws came around and strangled that possibility. i have NOT been PROACTIVE or ACTIVE about any of this but at least i am Aware of it. i do not make any conscious efforts to support black small businessppl over others but i really think that is because that isnt an area that gets a lot of my attention in general, bc im kind of overwhelmed by consumerism and i dont have a clear idea of whats going on with my own money and buying deliberately intimidates me. buying purposefully from black owned businesses is always something i think im going to do more of in the future haha.

but also, in my consuming images/content/whatever passively on social media, the idea of wealth and generational wealth being important specifically to black people (less so to white ppl, so many of whom have it...not all but so many including my mom’s family...NOT my dad’s at all but totally my moms) has made it so i consume w/ interest and support media where black people are talking about money and financial literacy and entrepreneurship. that is an area i view as a different lens from how i view the same topic with white people. #blackownedbusiness is a really powerful concept and i feel responsibility as a consumer to support it, but i havent really yet.

i feel like my perspective is basically pretty balanced. i know how it feels to be racist in the passive, ignorant way and i know how it feels for education to change my perspectives. i get it when black people say they just want to live and they dont want to explain themselves over and over, that they’re not white people’s teachers. i have heard them ask white people to step up and do that. so that is something i have done a LITTLE of. i am better at communicating than buying, i am like quite good at it. like when i worked for a coffee shop i was SO good at harmonizing w/ petty customers b/c i sort of am a petty customer lol. so i feel like that is a role i can step into and excel in... helping ignorant white people learn. i feel like my voice is uniquely harmonious and nonaccusatory.

im not interested in converting majorly racist people. there are MORE just passively racist ppl, and they’re more dangerous in some ways, and also they’re way easier for me personally to work with. i dont have the everyday exhaustion of dealing with ppl’s ignorance so i have leftover energy to engage with it directly. 

i think that racism and otherism is at the core of all the wounds in the world right now. there are leftover tribal fears that have never been worked through, all over the world. in america of course there are all kinds of different racisms but the main one is black ppl vs white ppl. 

1. black ppl are formerly enslaved so that’s hard for white people to deal with in the first place b/c it’s hard to deal with your own bad karma, it’s hard to face the fact that you live well because you subjugated humans (you as a social group, not personally... although of course many things in my life are good becasue of the benefits to my ancestors and my social group). honestly, slaveholder/colonialist karma is nasty. it’s trauma...it’s its own kind of trauma. im not saying slaveowner/colonialist people should be thought of as innocent victims bc they are traumatized bc of the shitty thing they did. im just describing the situation... they have fucked up stuff that needs safe processing as well, we are all connected and when we hurt others, we also hurt ourselves.

2. black people are visibly different from white ppl moreso than other races are (thats a generalization but, idk skin is a large and very visible organ and pigment is really visible and it’s easier to visually “otherize” ppl for being dark, also hair texture is very visible) so they are very easy to “code” as “other.” physical responses are very base and subconscious and the body learns them, so it’s super easy for the body to develop prejudices b/c of social behavior, and then the mind just goes ahead and encodes them like it always does lol. going off of this point, i recentlyish (march) started listening to nina simone... this is how fucking ignorant i am, she is basically the first black person to artistically touch me deeply and directly (aside from victor wooten’s book). and she is so black, like very very dark, and all of her facial features are distinctive to black people. and to hear her state plainly that she thinks black people are the most beautiful people in the world ... also to see her face saying that... it helps my body unlearn things. on the one hand it sucks that we have prejudice in our society so engrained that literally someone’s face can be an act of defiance. on the other hand, holy shit, how amazing is it that someone’s radiant fucking face can have the power to heal social wounds. not totally heal, but contribute to them. 

3. LBJ and fucking nixon and all of those assholes, all of these fucking laws, law enforcers, government planted conspiracy theories in place to keep white people hatig black people and perceiving them as criminals, and also, strangling black people’s efforts at gaining wealth and grounding themselves in society so so much energy had to get redirected into shitty unrewarding labor and also crime (though crime rates have been exaggerated) like... and then the deliberate assassination of ALL the black builders of self esteem in the 60s 70s (80s?)... racist forces have been AT! WORK! HARD AT FUCKING WORK! FOR A WHILE! so of course we have racist wounds bc they were NOT fucking worked through after the civil war and in fact they were like nursed open and made to be infected because the stupid ass government thought racism was necessary for society to run. on the one hand, that SUCKS and it’s SHITTY.....

.............On the other hand it’s the most hopeful thing EVER.... because they  worked so hard to keep us apart from each other. like really hard. do u know what that means?

--A. it’s a justification that humanity and brotherhood is powerful as. fuck.

--B. it’s an acknowledgment that ... people have to work really hard to keep us the fuck apart from each other. really hard.

the internet is going to make it impossible for us to keep hating each other. things are going to happen and they are going to be good. but we have to do it, we have to inhabit it. we have to be present for and communicative of the changes that happen inside us, so others can see it and harmonize. harmonization makes things louder.

hmmmmmm.

[baek--honey]

1-50 bitch

well since u asked nicely how could i resist

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? paint/draw or the like, or knit maybe,

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own/owned? MY HOT MOMS SHIRT THAT I LOST ;n; also the big grey hoodie i have & a pierce the veil shirt i borrowed from my gf that im never giving back :)

4. How often do you play sports? never

5. What fictional place would you most like to go to? The Digital World

6. What job would you be terrible at? probably anything involving extensive memorizing and maintaining information for long periods of time. so basically a lot of things…… or maybe like. working at starbucks cos i cant make coffee OR remember lots of drink recipes omg

7. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for? playing kingdom hearts 2 on easy mode. i would have a good chance at winning because all the people that are good at playing kingdom hearts are gaming elitists that think playing on easy is for losers and if you dont play on critical mode you arent a real gamer :)

8. What skill would you like to master? making an omelet OR knitting

10. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? some out of town adventure with my girlfriend where money and time dont matter 

11. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would you change and why? uh i’d like to be less haunted by my traumatic past maybe! or be a few inches taller that would be cool i feel like both of these are pretty self explanatory 

12. What’s your favorite drink? W A T E R or milk tea 

13. What do you consider to be your best find? my girlfriend 

14. Are you usually early or late? way too early. too mcuh time i dont know what to do with it

15. What pets did you have while growing up? hm lets see i had a couple turtles, some fish, i had a gerbil that i got from a friend, an african grey named solomon, boston terrier named Tiny, two white boxers named Floyd & Lloyd, a mix named Macy, 4 chihuhuas named Dude, Pooty, Flout & Chief, and now we have a cat named Schrödinger :~), oh and an amstaff/dalmation mix named EL

16. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? anything and everything but never really asking for advice i guess? its more of them talking about a problem cos im easy to talk to and then me trying to help them come up to a solution if they need it

17. What takes up too much of your time? S L E E P I N G 

18. What do you wish you knew more about? cats!!!! also dogs cos i know a lot but i want to know more

19. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? why am i still alive?

21. Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? seventeen or monsta x, exo’s LMR repackaged album

22. What shows are you into? the office, lost, honestly nothing thats still running on tv, i havent watched a show in forever, oh god wait does anime count cos i could write the longest list of anime i love: haikyuu, nge, digimon, noragami ,,,,,,

23. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? Seventeen (Hangul: 세븐틴), also stylized as SEVENTEEN or SVT, is a South Korean boy group formed by Pledis Entertainment in 2015. The group consists of thirteen members divided into three sub-units, 

24. What age do you wish you could permanently be? a dog mom & i hope i can make that wish come true

25. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? napping on and off in bed with my girlfriend and then going to town for sushi & milk tea and then uhhhhhhhhhhh coming back home to nap some more and then go out for noodles for another date :} oh and a dog would be involved if possible because cuddling dogs is best

26. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? physically writing and sending cards/letters in the mail i guess? i dont know if that really counts as doing something the old fashioned way but i definitely dont get as many cards or anything in the mail anymore. i also like to keep physical hand written to-do lists & schedules and stuff

27. What have you only recently formed an opinion on? how bad exo are at dancing  turtlenecks and scarves. they are good 

28. What’s the single best day on the calendar? october 10th my dogs birthday and also narutos birthday

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? asmr??? 

30. What is the most annoying question that people ask you? “did u have a little lamb?” OR when my grandpa asks me anything about his iphone 

31. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on without absolutely no preparation? my dogs or seventeen. OR a half ass presentation about kingdom hearts, trying to explain it while getting around all the plot holes and not nailing down my arguments cos i dont really get it either and theres a lot i dont pay attention to but i could come up with 40 mins of info im sure

32. If you were a dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? no waking until 10am. no crime or anything will be allowed ill figure out some way to make everything perfect so women can go out alone at night and not be afraid. no discrimination !! all the poc, lgbt, disabled, any minority  will be welcome and have safe spaces and any hate will be punished by law. also everyones allowed to have pets in their homes and no home goes without food or power. am i doing this right

33. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? travel out of your comfort zone. like physically travel somewhere and make the most of it but do it with someone cos the buddy system is important

34. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? jackets. i will pay up to 100$ for a good jacket and wear it forever cos itll be confirmed long-lasting and also most likely very comfortable!!!

35. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of? i just want to point out that its not that i dont get the point of it because everyone has their likes and i have my own that other people dont i like that people are into whatever they want to be its just that i am Not into it. and that thing is yuri on ice

36. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? being able to wake up every morning next to my girlfriend and out pets :~)

37. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? corning museum of glass was super neat……. , dollywood, gatlinburg, chicago chinatown, idk i havent been to many interesting places 

38. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? i wana get a tattoo !!!!!!!!

39. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? getting a job interview at barnes & noble because now i have a job there!!!

40. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? diamond edge chicago

41. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? all i really want is that job where im paid to sleep 

42. How different was your life one year ago? tbh not that much different?? other than i was in school and now im not. i didnt have a job and now i do. i was a year further away from moving 

43. What’s the best way to start the day? talking to my girlfriend and also let me just say that first pee in the morning. perfect

44. What quirks do you have? what are quirks exactly i looked up examples to help me think of some but all im thinking of is…i cant have the volume on my tv or radio on an even number it has to be on an odd number??? i have to sleep with a fan on. idk dude

45. What would you rate 10/10? [MV] 몬스타엑스 (MONSTA X) _ 걸어 (ALL IN)

46. What kind of art do you enjoy most? abstract w lots of colors and shapes. geometric stuff 

47. What do you hope never changes? my ability to collect myself (unless it gets better which then i hope it does), my passion for art of any sort

48. What city would you most like to live in? anywhere except charleston and somewhere thats not extremely highly populated

49. What movie title best describes your life? Scooby Doo 2 - Monsters Unleashed

50. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? sleeping or hanging out with their pet