#so this is just me outsourcing responses instead of overthinking

[linipik]

okay, but what do you consider just plain annoying from an artist on here?

not "what makes you outrage or unfollw them forever", just... annoying enough to stop interacting with their posts in the long run.

reblogs are appreciated since my own blog has a limited reach. Thanks!

[soir-rouges-esprit]

#v111: Zenith Confidence, as I walk I come face to face with the darker parts of the forest... the parts that were hidden and cast out from the view of the cities all seeing lights, But here... here they could touch me. These little demonic creatures take the form of little regrets and overanalyzing the emotional responses from others in life, creatures born from overthinking, as well as over-perfecting a person not yet ready to be so. They rush me and attack me at every opportune moment, they are restless, and even in times of peace or even dare I say... glimpses of happiness... they are primed and ready to ambush my mind in an attempt to cull my efforts in staying in such a paradise, I try to not let them stop me and keep walking as if they didn't exist, as if they did not create bother, in hopes to create more verisimilitude towards my new self-loving non-caring of hate persona, attempting to avoid following through with my prejudice towards enmity over logical reasoning with emotional responses that these little feature creatures try to discourage if not fully rip out of me as a possibility, they bring back memories primarily, of times where I did not receive the responses I wanted or more so... the responses I played over and over in my head for weeks before the moment even occurred, because as in all of us... we have an addiction... and mine was cultivating emotion from others to feed a hungry city I was in charge of. This need to outsource was deeply corrupted and corrosive to the inner production of particular goods labeled as "Self-Esteem Beneficial" and for those products that were naturally sourced from within, they became... less valuable... and less sustainable... to a city with an uncontrollable want for more... this problem was enhanced by the outsourced products coming in at a much larger quantity than any internal factory was producing at what seemed to be half the cost... evidently flooding the whole market and killing off any competing product that wasn't outsourced... this lead to more and more pain with my "solutions" being a toxic outsource domino effect of trying to find love and then not feeling as if I was finding that within said relationship to then burning those bridges, inevitably burning myself a little in the process, hopping from relationship to relationship feeding that addiction, expanding that chasm of pain slowly In the background without me knowing, I was basically setting myself up for failure in my search for love everytime... not because the search for love is a hopeless path to walk, but because I was simply not capable yet of being able to handle such a complicated endeavor, I was self sabotaging... I was not yet happy with myself... breaking down in moments farthest from dread. So somewhere along the way, I remembered to love even the painful little creatures, and instead realized that they were not hateful at all... they were merely signs of the things I was afraid of... which was feeling alone and loveless... and that they were reminding me of these sad depressing moments not to torment me... but to show me repetitively that I needed to take a step back and fix myself so that I could one day achieve that dream of finding love again, I needed to consolidate my feelings and mind back into one to be capable of loving not just myself, but being capable of loving another. At the end of this journey, the bites and scratches these creatures once left... the scars... they were gone... in fact... when I looked down to see the trauma at a closer glance... I couldn't see my Legs in their entirety... Instead, I saw a pair of black all-purpose jeans that were tightly but comfortably fitted to my lower half. I had regained my self-confidence as I once had it... No... I had built it stronger than it ever had been before.