#so uh. i'll work on CS in an hour or so

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"Road Less Traveled" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 10/12: Slowly Pairing: Beauty and the Puppet (Belle/August) [with hints of CaptainSwan] Rating: General Word Count: (792/8K) Summary: [Mid Season 4 Canon Divergence.] After becoming a man again to help the heroes track down the author, August stops by the library- only to realize he now has a crush on the librarian, who's working through some complicated feelings of her own. Chapter Summary: August walks Belle home after their date Tags: season 4, canon divergent, fluff, beauty and the puppet, captain swan, anti-rumbelle, Author's notes: none Taglist: @zahara  @kmomof4  @jonesfandomfanatic  @booksteaandtoomuchtv  @jrob64  @tiganasummertree  @anmylica  @teamhook  @undercaffinatednightmare  @gingerchangeling  @lonelyspectator  @caught-in-the-filter  @ultraluckycatnd  @cs-rylie @silver-the-phoenix @kanerallels @accidental-spice @poptart-cat-78 @kingofbr00klyn [if you’d like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!] Also on AO3!

 The first thing August noticed when they stepped out of Granny's was how the air had chilled that evening. The second thing he noticed was the short sleeves on Belle's dress, and how cold she must be.

 "Oh, here, it's freezing out here." August said, taking off his jacket and draping it over Belle's shoulders.

 "Thanks." Belle said, sliding her arms into the sleeves.

 "Mind if I walk you home?" August asked.

 "It's not much of a walk." Belle said. "I live in the apartment above the library."

 August looked across the street at the library under the clock tower. "Then I guess we'll just have to walk slowly."

 He wrapped his arm across her shoulders and she wrapped her arm around his side, and they crossed the street to the library together.

 But no matter how slowly they managed to walk, he still found himself standing across from her at the door to her place much sooner than he would've liked. He stood across from her and held both her hands.

 "Thanks so much, August." Belle said. "I really had a great time tonight."

 "That's a relief," August said "because so did I." 

 Belle smiled at him. "Do you want to have another great time again sometime?"

 "You mean a second date?" August asked, glad to see he'd made a good impression tonight. "I'd love to."

 "Great." Belle said.

 "Yeah."

 Four blue eyes met in the darkness, fixed on each other, like nothing else mattered in that moment to them. August leaned forward, just a little, wanting to end the night with a kiss, but knowing Belle was still hurting, still vulnerable, and not wanting to push her away.

 But Belle closed her eyes, and she stepped up on her tiptoes, and she planted a kiss on August's cheek.

 "Goodnight." She said.

 "Goodnight." August nodded and kissed her cheek as well. "See you tomorrow?"

 "Library opens at eight." Belle said.

 "Then I'll be there at seven forty five." August winked.

 Belle smiled and took his jacket off.

 "I, uh, take it you'll be needing this?" Belle asked.

 "I would let you borrow it for the night if my ride home wasn't a motorcycle." August said, taking the jacket from her.

 "Well that does sound exciting." Belle said.

 "It's always more exciting with someone else, though," August said. "I'll have to take you for a ride sometime."

 "Can't wait."

 Belle opened the door to her apartment and smiled at August one last time before she went back inside.

 August walked back across the street to where his bike was parked at Granny's, feeling more alive than he'd felt in years. He took one last glance back at the clock tower as he hopped on his bike, then drove away, feeling as though he was on top of the world.

---

 Belle felt like twirling as she entered her room again, felt like everything in her life was going right again, like maybe things would be alright. She had talked with August for hours- not hours of listening to an intellectual puff up his knowledge, but hours of him treating her as an equal, genuinely enjoying and listening to her opinion on the subject matter.

 And even still, she felt like there was still so much she could've talked about with him- and not just about books, but about life, about herself, about him- she realized she wanted to start learning everything about him.

 But as she thought about how much she wanted to know about him, she realized how much she still didn't know about him, and wondered how many layers she'd have to peel back until she got to the beast at his core.

 That's how it works, Belle reasoned. That's how it always worked. Her own father had arranged a marriage between her and a well-to-do monster of a prince, only for her to run from that right to Rumplestiltskin, who'd almost seemed a good man- but in the end, all he'd proved himself to be was selfish, a liar, a coward. That's all that the men in her life had ever been to her- so why was she so quick to let another one in?

 She could still hear his motorcycle driving off into the distance, and could almost hear his laugh along with it, and the commentary he'd made on some of their favorite literary themes. 

 "Gosh," Belle thought, "his interpretations of Dracula and 'Rip Van Winkle' were so dreamy." She loved his way of looking at everything differently, seeing the themes he picked up on that she seemed to miss, especially stories of transformation, and of redemption.

 But still, she wondered how long this relationship could last until it went up in smoke like the rest of them.

[deeisace]

Tonight's "I'm not asleep yet" drama is about I'm not sure if going on the depo injection will fuck up my chances of getting on T or not

Like it's hard to tell cs I've only had one so far (second is tomorrow), and the second one is a month late cs I'm a a uh a goober, but I sure as fuck haven't had to wear my wrist braces for four months

Cs steroids, technically, y'know, just the same as T is

Turns out helps my fucked joints as well as stopping my uhhh idk whatever word you use I don't really I try not to think about it uh from freaking out every month

It's a really fucking shitty decision to have to make, and I'm looking forward to going on T, but if it's a choice between

Like, I know that depo it stays in your system for a year, the nurse said last time - and idk how the fuck it all works, but if I have to stay like with nothing again, go back to wrist braces and knee braces and pads and painkillers, for at least a year, very likely longer cs the NHS is not fucking healthy itself atm, so that I can go on T

That I don't think I'll ever be fully certain I 100% want, cs tho I'd like to be misgendered less and fuck about for fun, I already look enough like my dad, y'know, and all I've ever been told (yeah, by cis people) is oh are you sure, are you sure you're sure, you have to be careful y'know - even the GIC assessment person she was like "you know you'll get really hairy, are you prepared for that?" Idk if I put that in a post at the time, I was more focused on how she'd said I should change my name cs "in some cultures it's seen as more feminine" Legitimately, wtf.

If I can do both, or if the depo like levels in my system don't effect the timescale of my going on T, then sure, but fuck me, in the summer I was basically broken and that's 100% not just me working cs I'm still on the same fucking hours a week like this entire 6 months - yeah I've been getting more achy joints again for the last month cs the depo's wearing off, but it was fucking magical going on it

It's too late at night for this, I'm going round in circles

Basically I'm getting my injection tomorrow and I'm really excited to hurt less again and have to deal with far less fuckery, but I'm also a bit scared the NHS will declare me Not A Real Tran like with one of them big paperwork stamps, and thinking about how it could be a different injection which could also be fun and cool and stuff, y'know

[elytrafemme]

tried to start working on cough syrup and my brain instantly started getting blurry thinking about how much i don’t like certain people today. uh. thanks for the symptom brain i’m kinda in the middle of something can we think about the schoolmates later and cool it

[honeybeedewdrops]

Amnesia | J.Seresin

Summary: You have an accident during a mission that leaves you with some memory loss.

Warnings: None. I don't think at least.

______________________________________________________________

It had all happened so fast one minute you were all in the clear and then the enemy plane was coming straight for you. You had managed to kill them but they had got a hit on you and now your right engine was on fire. "Shit, Shit" you curse trying to extinguish the fire but it wasn't working.

"Y/CS you have to eject where out of enemy territory so it will be easier to find you" Maverick says but you weren't having it you were not going to eject. "No I got this I can extinguish the fire" you shout "Y/N JUST EJECT PLEASE BABY" You hear Hangman called. You decided to listen to Hangman and ejected but you were too low the minute you hit the ground you were out cold.

**

You woke up to beeping and your head pounding making you groan. As you open your eyes you are blinded by the light "Y/N thank god your ok I thought I lost you" says an unfamiliar voice and they hug you making you hiss out in pain. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry are you ok?" you look up and see very green but very unfamiliar eyes. "um... yeah i'm ok" before you could speak again the door opens. You watch Maverick and women came in. Making you very confused who was she and who was this man holding your hand. "Y/CS your ok gave us quite the scare I don't know what I would do if you left me alone with these nimrods" "hey kid how are you doing?" Maverick asks "good Maverick but uh who are you two?" you ask pointing to the women and man.

"haha very funny Y/CS you got me" The women chuckles "no i'm serious who are you" and you pull your hand way from the man. "Y/N its me Hangman your boyfriend" you shake your head "I'm sorry I don't know you" they all glanced at each other. "uh i'll get the doctor" Maverick says leaving. A minute later the doctor comes in "ah Miss Y/LN how are you feeling" "everything hurts" you moan.

"yeah you took a pretty dangerous fall now I heard you are having some memory problems" "Uh maybe I just don't know these two" "Ok well i'm going to ask you some questions" you nod "can you tell me your full name?" "Y/N Y/MN Y/LN" "good now what do you do for living?" "I am a Naval fighter Pilot" "Ok now do you remember much from before you crashed?" "uh not really just ejecting and then it all went black" he nods and writes it down "well Y/N you have some holes in your memory. We call it retrograde amnesia." "so what you're saying is I do know these people I just don't remember them" "yes that is correct" you nod trying to take it all in.

"what can we do Doc" "well best you tell her who you are and just simple these you did together it could maybe jog her memory." "will she ever get her memory back?" Hangman asks "it's hard to tell she might she might not now i'll check back in a few" and the doctor leaves.

"well Y/N i'm Phoenix also Natasha. We've been best friends since the academy we were bunk mates." You nod "we used to bug hangman over here all the time till you two started dating" your head started to hurt more but you wanted to hear more. "Uh we used to share a house man the trouble we'd get into all hours of the night we even got a noise complaint" she says voice faltering. I could tell she was trying not to cry they all were. "Do you remember that?" you shake your head. "no i'm sorry" "No need to apologise" she says.

"she's your wing women the best i've seen fly together" Maverick says trying to help. You smile before looking down at your hands. "A-and you" you say turning to Hangman "i'm your boyfriend we've been dating for two years. Hangman or Jakey as you call me" You frown how could you not remember. "We met on our first mission together you yelled at me after I left you hanging" He chuckles. You don't speak.

"Y/N--" He says "Um can I be alone for a minute" they all give you sympathetic looks before leaving.

You close your eyes how could this happen.

______________________________________________________________

A/N: Part Two?

[deeisace]

.

Typed this out last night and fell asleep without posting - still dressed and with the lights on, even

My uncle just flew in from Thailand to like help my dad some with their mum's funeral uhhh stuff

And obviously he's exhausted and it's a fuckin awful awful situation but idk like

My dad's been working out like who's gonna come and stuff, all my nana's friends and her facebook groups an all sorts, he's doing all the logistics and like most everything, and my uncle's gonna pay for it cs he's the business guy right

We've been talking a little bit in code cs my grandad has Alzheimer's and we don't want to upset him? But I think that's what's sorta been agreed

Also dad's sent an email to the Alzheimer's Society asking for advice of what we should do about grandad, if to tell him and upset him every 2 days, or to kinda leave it and say she's at hospital when he asks - dad also says that grandad's unlikely to last a year, this morning, which I didn't fully know

Anyway dad's done maths and my uncle hears there might be 60 people coming to Nana's - we don't have a huge family, there's maybe 15-20 family and the rest will be friends - and he says "no, we have to do something about that, I can't do that"

Which, totally fair enough to be socially anxious an stuff - maybe he's thinking he has to stand and talk, cs he's the oldest son, but there's no set way to do a funeral, he doesn't have to do that - absolutely totally fair, and it'd be fucking awful even without it being your mum's funeral

But who the fuck can we turn away, you can't turn people away from a funeral - from saying goodbye to someone they've known for 50 years, or who helped them through their cancer in between dealing with her own, or I don't know what else, she had a whole bunch of fb groups - she was a force of nature, and she helped a ton of people, and lots of people loved her, and I know it's hard and I know he has like social anxiety problems and fucking nobody wants to talk to ~60 strangers and/or people he hasn't seen for 30 years, for three hours, full stop, let alone in this fucking awful situation, but I don't know what else we can do?

Dad and him are going to the funeral people, they've got an appointment tomorrow morning to figure some stuff out, idk if they'll have an idea of what to do - dad says valium would help, but my uncle is not the sort as would agree to that, and my stepmum says maybe he can stay for a short while and then go uh like say he has to go and sit with his dad cs we couldn't organise an all-day carer (tho my dad's sorted that already, pending a date), which I think is probably the closest to a solution we can manage tbh

Oh I don't bloody know

Nice thing tho, I went out and got some lavender from the garden - her lavender, that dad says originally came from her mum's garden - to hang up and dry, so to sort of send with her? It was mum's idea, I think it's a nice one - dad helped me tie it up to hang on a hook in the garage, y'know, I'll find a nice ribbon for it - tho I imagine we'll (or dad will, he's been nonstop, I'm amazed in between my sadness) have to ask a funeral person if that's okay

But then mum's friend, her funeral was today, and they sent her off with - I forget which, but some nice greenery - like, with her - so it must be okay

I know that nana's funeral is going to be in about 2 weeks, but I need to remember to tell dad tomorrow that my granny's one is on the 24th, so if possible to avoid that day, so that I can go to both

[deeisace]

Guillotining complete! 🎉

Well, I fucked up three sigs, so I'll have to reprint those, I haven't done the corners neat, and the next stage is punching the sewing holes

Maybe I should do the holes next, and then print all the fuck-ups at once, cs there's bound to be some for the awl bit too

But uh. Tomorrow. I have to get up for work in 5 an a half hours :/

Now, I'm due a giant mug of tea and a hunt for some biscuits, is the plan

[elytrafemme]

Uh... so I finally finished my analysis of chapter 29....Hours after chapter 30 has been published... Oops! I'll read it tomorrow, but for now, enjoy a link to my ramblings instead of a long ask because the word count is 2,910! :D https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IaWhaEahPMfeZ1qRba3qwl3yPbifsCjI5-2wLMBFJv4/edit?usp=sharing The link wouldn't work properly because tumblr is broken so you'll just have to copy and paste it, sorry! <333

HELLO MY FRIEND. I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I AM GOING TO REPLY TO YOU NOW THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3

“Why should I make my bed in the morning if I just going to mess it up after I go to sleep again.” <- THIS I am forever awed as to how WELL u get cs!Tubbo’s character you always make me feel like i’ve done my due justice writing him bc u always GET IT u are so fucking cool. this this this this THIS this is how he THINKS!!!

“Destiny is not based in logic. Destiny is a belief that comes from a strong emotional conviction that no action a person makes can change the future. So when it comes to cs!Tubbo’s own mentality, he isn’t logical at all.“ YES A THOUSAND PERCENT! the thing about him with destiny is that he thinks about it in terms of patterns, meaning that it FEELS logical to him but in actuality! he’s just predicting something with the evidence he has and the immense biases that go alongside it, and what he’s predicting is literally the entire course of his life. it’s reckless and it’s non logical in every possible way and that is how he views the world.

we call ranboo the dsmp enjoyer but REALLY it shouild be tubbo with these damn au assignments UR RIGHT!

there is a LOT that goes into him making these constant comparisons but some things i’d like to highlight is (1) you are so right about these biases his self hatred gets in the way of logic SO MUCH TOO! (2) his comparisons with himself are one thing but when he compares other people to people in the past it usually reveals a deep misunderstanding in who those people are, for example ranboo and quackity those two are BARELY anything alike but tubbo has this very strong association between them that is so unfounded in anything but his belief that he is just like schlatt WHEN HE ISNT!!! and (3) there r lasting consequences for believing that everything is destiny and set in stone, for example issues taking responsibility for things, and treating people callously like you know best. the latter tubbo is starting to do, the former is somewhat apparent but i just think its a thing that will be continuous in his character imo bc it is fucking real shit i would know LOL 

YES YESYEYSYESYYES EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABT CSBEEDUO SOOOOO FUCKING TRUE!!!!! Because here’s the thing about the 28th, where the two hang out: two facts coexist within it. (1) it was one of the happiest days in both of their lives in recent history, and (2) it was NOT ENTIRELY HEALTHY. which is why in the future i hope there can be some cross comparisons bc HERE IS THE THING! yes ranboo opened up more, yes they had a damn good time, yes tubbo came to terms more with being in love with ranboo, but the truth of dream’s interference in ranboo’s life was hanging over them the ENTIRE TIME, and you can SEE in this chapter that tubbo both really enjoyed the 28th and also resented it bc fuck dude that is stressful and ranboo’s life should NOT BE IN HIS HANDS but he thinks it is. they’re fucked up /pos

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY TUBBO AND RANBOO BOTH HAVE DESTINY ISSUES & RANBOO AND QUACKITY R NOTHING ALIKE! YOU SAID IT SO WELL!

I could go on for forevera bt this one thing but what i love SO MUCH about these chapters rn is that we are truly seeing the worst of these characters. bc one of the most important things in mental health recovery is getting to a place where you don’t hate yourself enough to be outright a risk, and then once youre there actually thinking through the harm you did to other people. like it sounds harsh but its important! sorting through that shit makes u a better healthier and happier person! and what strikes me about this is not only how desperate wilbur is, but how fucking upsetting it is for BOTH of them. bc tubbo on one hand doesnt want this conversation forced on him, but wilbur also is in a weird place of “ijust told you something i never wanted to tell you and is deeply personal to me and after i tell you all that you STILL refuse to hear me out even a little”. it’s like. so fucked. and i love them. they have so much shit to work through!

im SO glad that the clingy scene had u emotional, and im SO glad that their arguments feel offputting bc THAT IS ALWAYS MY GOAL!!! i WANT it to feel strange and uncomfortable bc whether tubbo is aware of this or not, in basically the first half of this fic, these two did not fight. nothing serious anyway. they comforted each other and they started fights before immediately tubbo backs off and they drop it, they havent FOUGHT. which is why this scene is MEANT to gut punch you-- because it feels WRONG.

thank u so much for this doc seriously, i am SO fucking sorry its taken this long to get to it, i wanted to give u a lenghty reply and its just taken a wahile. appreciate u so much galaxy <3