#so we can make it official that gohan learned from all of goku's friends

[cornplateur-fritz]

5-year-old Gohan driving a jet plane before Goku and Piccolo knew how to start a car

Funnily enough, it still makes sense that he doesn't know how to cross the street despite the fact, because:

He has never lived in the city before.

He's always with adults when they go to the city (unless he's flying with ki to get there).

Knowing how to cross the street is not a requirement in driving aircrafts or in fighting world-ending threats.

He can literally fly. What would he need street signs for?!

Which then got me asking, WHY does he need to drive an aircraft?!

[fabuloustrash05]

Just saw Dragon Ball Super: Superhero movie!

Here are my thoughts!

Warning: SPOILERS

Android 21 is officially canon!!!

Magenta fucking bullshitting the whole idea of Bulma having an evil organization and plotting an alien invasion is hilarious 😂

The throwback/reanimated scene of future Trunks vs Freiza and King Cold! The nostalgia!

CELL!!!!

Piccolo training Pan!! 🥰

PICCOLO HAS A HOUSE!!! FINALLY!! TFS IS GONNA LOVE THIS!

Anyone noticed that Piccolo’s chair he sat in is very similar to King Piccolo’s throne in Dragon Ball?

I love how Piccolo holds his phone, also LOL Piccolo has a phone!!

Piccolo being another grandpa for Pan is so sweet

Piccolo calling out Gohan for neglecting his daughter. I guess the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree because Goku’s parenting is starting to rub off on his own son

I like how the red ribbon army tries to paint off Goku, Vegeta, and Buu as the villains to convince Dr Hedo to build them androids brought a chuckle out of me

Loved the fight between Piccolo and Gamma 2

Piccolo pointing out Gamma 2’s background affects popping up behind him!! 🤣🤣

Smart idea of Bulma constantly gathering the Dragon Balls to prevent anyone from using them for evil deeds

But also very pity that Bulma is basically using the Dragon Balls for cosmetic surgery. It was a good call back to the Broly movie when Bulma wanted to use the Dragon Balls to make herself look 5 years younger. Is it because her saiyan husband ages slower than her? 

Piccolo and Dende!! I love that Dende and others refer to Piccolo as “Kami”

Piccolo’s new powers and forms!! So badass!!

BROLY!!!! 😍😍

So Broly and his friends are now living on Beerus’ world to hide from Frieza. Smart choice! I hope they are safe!

Goku, Vegeta, and Broly training on Beerus’ world!! The last 3 Saiyans!! I LOVE IT!

Vegeta meditating! I love that he’s trying to focus more on his mental strength than his physical strength, he learned a lot from observing Jiren during the tournament of power. He’s definitely have come a long way in his training and even his character growth

BEERUS X CHEELAI????!!?!

Lima becoming Beerus’ personal chef is so cute.

GOKU VS VEGETA TRAINING TIME!! LETS GOOOOOO!!!!

Honestly I like how this is the reason for why Goku and Vegeta are not in this movie or the fights. I’m glad they didn’t show up into the fight because if they did I’m pretty sure the fight would’ve been over sooner. This is a Piccolo and Gohan movie, as much as I love them, we don’t need Goku and Vegeta.

Can I just say how much I absolutely love Gamma 1 and 2? I love G2’s upbeat want to be superhero persona and I love how G1 completes him by being more serious.

Piccolo “kidnapping” Pan for the Red Ribbon Army so he can get Gohan back into his training and encourage him into his old ways as a fighter. I also love how Pan was playing along and having fun with it.

I absolutely love Piccolo and Pan’s dynamic. It’s so sweet and adorable.

DADDY GOHAN READY TO KICK SOME ASS AND SAVE HIS DAUGHTER!!

I love the fight between Gohan and Gamma 1! Very well done!

Gohan basically being blind without his glasses when he’s not a Super Saiyan was a funny running gag.

Piccolo trying to reason with Gamma 2, He knows that they’re lost and are trying to show them who they are truly working for

ORANGE PICCOLO!!! 😂 Why not Super Namekian?

Bulma bringing in Trunks, Goten, 18, and Krillin into the fight!

Bulma: I brought all our strongest warriors! Oh, and Krillin too

Me: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!

Krillin actually having to remind Piccolo that he can grow huge and Piccolo being like “oh yeah I forgot I can do that“ 🤣

CELL MAX!!!

18 was definitely getting some ptsd when she saw Cell Max

Gamma 2’s sacrifice 😭

Goten forgetting how to do the fusion dance! 😂

Did they seriously just tease us of getting teen Gotanks?? We did get him but as his chubby self. At least it was still useful in battle 👍

GOHAN!!!! HIS NEW SAIYAN FORM!!! BADASS GOHAN IS BACK BABY!!!

PAN CAN FLY!!! 🥹💞

I love that we got to see Piccolo and Gohan’s father-son dynamic again

Very kind of Bulma to offer Dr Hedo and Gamma 1 a job at Capsule Corp, maybe we’ll see them again in future Dragon Ball projects

The after credit scene was definitely a surprise I didn’t expect but I really enjoyed it!

Goku and Vegeta have been fighting the entire freaking movie and are exhausted but are still going!

Broly and Lima in awe over Goku and Vegeta‘s battle 😂

VEGETA FINALLY BEAT GOKU IN A FIGHT! THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS DESERVES THIS WIN!!! 👑❤️

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 228

Last time, Gohan “””fought””” Dabura, until Dabura suddenly took a powder and left.    Vegeta was already pissed about Gohan’s lackluster performance, but now he’s extra furious because he had to watch that turkey of the fight and it didn’t even accomplish anything.  

I know I already complained about Gohan vs. Dabura, but just to recap why the fight sucks:

Dabura made them wait three episodes before showing up to fight.

Everyone complained the entire time the fight was going on.

Nobody won.

So now we’re right back where we were five episodes ago, when Goku killed Yakon.

So tensions are running high in Stage 3 of Babidi’s ship, because they’ve been stuck there this whole time, unable to proceed with the mission.  So Vegeta takes out his frustration on Gohan, because who else is he going to yell at?   The Supreme Kai is God, basically, and Goku will kick his ass and he knows it. 

 Vegeta makes this a Saiyan thing, telling Gohan that he should have gone for the jugular in his fight with Dabura, and let nothing stop him from killing his opponent.  

“You’re right, Vegeta, I should have finished him off as quickly as possible.   Just like you did when you killed Cell.    Oh, wait, you didn’t kill Cell, did you?    You screwed around with him for twenty minutes, and then you let him become perfect because you were bored,” is what Gohan would say in the Sassy Gohan AU that I just made up.

Then Vegeta starts ranting about how dumb it is the way Gohan and the others fight for “justice”.   

Then he goes on about survival of the fittest, which is pretty cliche, even for Vegeta.  It’s almost like he’s auditioning for someone...   “You know, it’s a good thing I’m on your team.   If I was on Babidi’s side, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you all, and none of you would be able to stop me!     But that would never happen... unless...”

The only point Vegeta makes that really leaves an impression on Gohan is that he was fighting for the lives of Piccolo and Krillin.    Remember, they came here to kill Dabura, becaue that’s the only way to undo the magic that turned them into stone statues.   If Gohan had tried a little harder, if he had trained more diligently over the past seven years, they might be back to normal by now.

Goku sticks up for Gohan, but kind of half-heartedly, like he knows Vegeta has a point, at least to some extent.    But Vegeta won’t have it.   All he cares about is fighting Goku, and all he’s been doing is farting around on this dumbass spaceship because everyone’s too scared to blow it up.   

The Supreme Kai (once again) tells him not to do that, because if they accidentally break Majin Buu’s seal, he could destroy the whole earth, even at partial strength.   Vegeta flat out tells him he doesn’t care about the Earth or anyone on it.   

Finally, Goku steps in and tells him to knock it off, and Vegeta backs off.    I’ve never really understood this scene, but now I think I finally get it.    In the past, Vegeta wouldn’t just talk about blowing up the ship; he would just do it, in spite of anyone’s protestations.    Remember when he wanted to fight 17 and 18?   Everyone told him it was a terrible idea, but he refused to listen, and no one could stop him, so he did it, to hell with the consequences.  

But in the Babidi Saga, he’s repeatedly suggested that Majin Buu probably isn’t that big a deal, and that they could settle this quickly by dispensing with the games and just blowing up the whole ship, and the Supreme Kai tells him not to, and he just backs off.    This is like the third time they’ve had this argument.  Don’t tell me Vegeta defers to the Supreme Kai, because I don’t buy it.   

I think what we’re seeing here is some of the maturity Vegeta has learned since he first started living on Earth.   He still wants to take the direct approach, and to shout down anyone who says otherwise, but deep down, he knows that’s unwise.  It bit him in the ass against Android 18 and Cell, and on some level he knows it could work against him here.    That’s why he threatens to blow up the ship, but he never actually follows through.   He’s waiting for Goku to stop him.

Meanwhile, Dabura has returned to Babidi with the idea of turning Vegeta against the others.   Babidi’s been watching them in his crystal ball, and he likes what he’s seen.    Vegeta’s not like the others, and it’ll be easy to control him, and it’ll save him from having to risk Dabura’s life in battle.  

On Stage 3, the Supreme Kai starts to suspect that this is what the bad guys are up to, but it’s too late.    Babidi casts his spell and Vegeta starts grabbing his head and crying out in pain.    Also he poses like a complete diva, because he’s still Vegeta, after all.

Vegeta turns Super Saiyan for some reason, and the Kai tells him what’s going on.   Babidi’s trying to exploit the wickedness in his heart, so he should empty his mind and not think of anything.    Not even the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

Now, later, Vegeta will claim to have fallen under Babidi’s spell intentionally, but it seems kind of at odds with this scene, where he appears to be resisting Babidi.  

But Babidi seems confident that he’s already won.    Kind of weird how he says Vegeta is “ours” now.  Who else is he referring to?   Dabura?   The rest of his crew?  They’re all mind-controlled slaves just like Vegeta.   But Babidi seems to be rather cordial toward his henchmen, treating them almost like friends.   I suppose he would enjoy their company, seeing how they wait on him hand and foot and cooperate with him in everything he does.  

Having secured Vegeta’s mind (I guess?), Babidi starts amplifying his power.    Remember, Yamu and Spopovitch were much stronger as Babidi’s minions than they were before, so this is apparently a side effect of the spell.   

But Vegeta was already one of the strongest guys on this whole show.   If Babidi can make him even stronger... hoo-boy.

And when the whole process is finished, Vegeta ends up with an “M” symbol on his forehead.   In the dub, they actually call it an “M”, I think, and Shin explains that it’s Babidi’s symbol.   The Japanese version doesn’t bother with this, probably because by this point we’ve already seen the “M” on all of Babidi’s stuff.   All his henchmen have it, it’s on his belt.   It’s printed on the hull of his spaceship, on all the doors, and on all of his equipment. 

Fans call this incarnation of Vegeta “Majin Vegeta”, although I’m pretty sure that’s not official.   “Majin” is a term for Buu specifically, because he’s an evil djinn.    Evil = “Ma”, “Ma” + “Djinn” = “Majin.”

As far as the symbol goes, I’m pretty sure it’s intended to stand for “Madoshi”, which is Babidi’s title.   But this never gets spelled out in the source material, perhaps because Babidi’s from outer space, and it wouldn’t make much sense for him to use the Latin Alphabet for his monogram.     In-universe, it’s probably just an alien glyph that just happens to look like a stylized “M”.   

The other thing is that you rarely ever see anyone refer to any of the others as “Majin”.   No one talks about “Majin Puipui” for instance.    I did see that once on an ad for a DBZ wall scroll, which featured all of Babidi’s gang.    for some reason, the ad copy listed them all as “Majin Buu, Majin Vegeta, Majin Dabura, Majin Puipu, Majin Yakon, Majin Yamu, and Majin Spopovitch.”   It’s like they were getting paid by the letter.   But that’s about the only time I’ve seen that.  

The Supreme Kai is all upset because he never expected this to happen.    There’s a lot you didn’t expect, Shin.   You kind of blew this whole mission.

Then Babidi teleports them all to the Tenkaichi Budokai stadium.    I’m not sure how he even knew about this place, unless he read Vegeta’s mind or something, but this is convenient, since the show has been switching back and forth between these two sets of characters.   Mr. Satan is in the middle of celebrating his second world championship victory, and the crowd is going nuts.   

Chi-Chi is pleased about this, because she thinks that if Goku beats the shit out of Mr. Satan right now, in front of everyone, then he’ll have a valid claim to the prize money.   Yamcha’s pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, but Chi-Chi’s pretty sure this is C-Z-fuckin’-W.    She wants Goku to drop Mr. Satan through a table covered in light poles.

The World Tournament Announcer is confused, but he sees Goku and just walks past Vegeta while he explains that the tournament’s already over, and that’s what sets Vegeta off.   Okay, so that’s brilliant, because he’s literally standing there, glowing yellow, and all WTA can think about is chatting with Goku.     That’s just Vegeta’s frustration in a nutshell.   

So Vegeta powers up, and his aura is so intense that WTA and Mr. Satan get pushed aside.

Satan crashes into the retaining wall, and I feel like that’s the second or third time this has happened to him today.

So Babidi’s all set to take this dude for a test drive.    First order: Beat up Goku, Gohan, and the Supreme Kai and take their energy for Majin Buu.

Vegeta’s reply: Fuck you sideways, Babidi.   All he wants to do is fight Goku.   Period.  

Babidi’s shocked, because this has never happened before.   Vegeta isn’t entirely under his control, but he figures that he can still work with this.  

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan finally realizes that these are the guys from the Cell Games.    You’d think he would have caught on before now, but Toriyama did a pretty careful job of keeping Mr. Satan away from the other tournament participants until the Z-Fighters left the stadium.    He only knew Goten and Trunks had super powers, but he didn’t realize that his opponents in the adult division tournament were part of the same group.   But with Vegeta in full on Super Saiyan mode, there’s no mistaking it. 

Just so there’s no confusion about Vegeta’s priorities, he points at Goku...

Then fires an energy blast at him.   Maybe this is Big Bang Attack?    I don’t know.    Goku blocks it...

But he can’t stop it from hitting the stands.

And it blows right through the crowd, and through several buildings along the way.  

Fortunately, Goku’s pals are in a different part of the stadium, although Bulma might wish it were otherwise.    She’s so horrified by Vegeta’s actions...

... that she faints.   

So yeah, there’s no room for interpretation here.   It’s about to go down.  

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 9 Review

Consistently funny. The weak points do not drag this episode down.

The Set Up begins with a great cold open. Piccolo is drop-dead unconscious on the ground, Gohan is desperately trying to wake him up, and Krillin is anxiously awaiting for Goku to show up. After all, he’s their friend who would never let them down right? Meanwhile... Goku is busy eating at Jadoshin's palace. Even as a departure from the original series, I like the idea that the two of them made up and are friends now. Jadoshin, however, has to remind Goku about the Saiyans. Goku then runs out in a panic.

[Title Sequence]

Piccolo isn't getting up and Nappa needs a new toy. He chooses Gohan seemingly at random from the two remaining, and floors him in one kick.

"Wooo! Not me!"

When Krillin isn't being the resident Milhouse, he's the rimshot comedian. The joy doesn't last for much longer though, as Gohan stays down.

Nappa is about to tear Krillin a new one, when the bald monk suddenly screams out that it's his turn. And for some glorious reason, this actually works on Nappa. This is some straight up Looney Tunes, "Duck Season, Fire!" type tomfoolery.

Vegeta does not handle Nappa's stupidity very well, and in his anger does a fourth wall break where he references a timestamp in the video. This is kind of clever and a bit of a break from the other fourth wall jokes that they've done so far, but I feel like it could lose its charm if it's done more than once. As for the timestamp itself, which is at 9:18 in the video... we'll get to that later.

Krillin decides to use the Destructo-Kienzan, and Vegeta shouts a warning to Nappa that it's a trick.

"But Vegeta... tricks are for kids."

The tense background music just completely stops here, but you can still hear the vibrations of the kienzan in the background. Great sound design. The long pause afterwards is also well timed, and Vegeta takes up the "fuck it, you wanna die, then die." mentality with Nappa. This skit is succinct, well paced and well editied.

Nappa receives a deep cut to the face for his troubles, as it just nearly takes his head off. Nappa laments his modeling career, and the scene cuts to a photoshopped rendition of Nappa on Vogue magazine. The bald, beautiful Saiyan, and his 10 tips on being a better lover!

This might have been a joke before its time, or perhaps the intention was different while writing this in 2009, but Nappa shows us all what a "nice guy" he was trying to be during all of this, and now decides "okay, full ultra-violence it is!" and fades Krillin with a white sparkly angel dust attack. I'm sure it has an actual cool sounding name (Like "Galaxy Breaker" or something) but I'm going to keep calling it the white sparkly angel dust attack. The owned counter ticks up to 8 here, but it doesn't feel deserved.

Piccolo jumps up with an "I'm back" and shoots Nappa... in the back. He sees what you did there. Just as Piccolo and Nappa are about to throw down, Gohan appears out of nowhere and roundhouse kicks him through a boulder. More indication that Gohan has some incredible hidden power inside of him. This surprises Piccolo, and Gohan is initially apologetic, but Piccolo begs for him to stay angry before Nappa just as quickly hops back to his feet.

It turns out Gohan hit Nappa so hard that he turned Italian. Seems a little out of left field, but why not. The "I'm a firing my laser" reference is perhaps the most dated thing I've seen since Episode 1. Would this even count as a meme? Wasn't "Firin Mah Laser" something that came out before the word meme even became popular as a way of describing internet fads, jokes, templates and trends? Back when Demotivational Posters and I Can Haz Cheeseburger ruled the internet? Truthfully, I loved this joke when it came out, but now all it does is remind me of the proto-internet days. And part of me feels weird for being nostalgic about that, because I just know someone in their 30's is going to read this and roll their eyes saying "Oh God, I'm getting old", in much the same way I'll feel horrified when people start to become nostalgic for Fortnite in the next 10 or 20 years.

Back to the episode, Piccolo's sacrifice happens right about here, and the scene does a good job of pointing out a plot contrivance in the source material. Piccolo could have just grabbed Gohan and moved out of the way. Though the scene plays up the amount of time Piccolo had to work with, there was still nothing stopping him from just grabbing him and chucking him like a bag of potatoes out of the way, even in the original. However, if Piccolo doesn't die, there's no real reason to go to Namek. What I think might be a more practical reason is that, this is a turning point for Piccolo as a character where he starts thinking emotionally. It's no real secret across both the canon and the abridged material that Piccolo is actually a pretty decent parent. So this right here is the idea of Piccolo more or less abandoning rational thought and considered only protecting Gohan. That contrasts a little with the ruthless, methodical, cunning, intelligent character he's been shown to be, just to throw that all away to save him, but the contrivance definitely becomes less egregious when you consider these factors.

However you want to address it, then end result is that Piccolo sacrifices himself to protect Gohan. In the original this is capped off with Piccolo comparing Gohan to his son, which is what Gohan begins to explain before Piccolo calls him a nerd. In this series however, Piccolo laments one final time:

"Why... didn't you... DODGE!!!"

Bleh. And with Piccolo's death, Kami is soon to follow. He explains the Namekian Dragon Balls to Mr Popo, and the long (very long) journey that must be undertook in order to revive everyone, but Mr Popo outright refuses and simply reminds Kami of the pecking order. Kami dies, and thus the Dragon Balls become inert.

Back at the battlefield, Vegeta was busy reading an issue of that very same Vogue magazine with Nappa on the cover and thus didn't see him kill Piccolo, like a mother three sangria's deep at her kid's soccer practice.

I've never much cared for Gohan's exasperated expletives in this or any scene in DBZA. This one in particular doesn't sit well with me simply because they went to the effort of being purposefully verbose but then still chose to use the word "condom" over "contraceptive" - A condom is made of latex, whereas a contraceptive is any kind of device at all that prevents pregnancy. As an example, some of the first contraceptives in history were made from linen and animal intestines, while the condom itself wasn't invented until 1855. Gohan specifically saying he's going to use Nappa's intestines as a condom serves the same purpose either way, but “contraceptive” would’ve been more technically accurate, in a bit of dialogue that is purposefully trying to be technically accurate. I wouldn't be picking on the semantics so much if that weren't the express purpose of this entire scene. Also it has more syllables and therefore sounds more smarterer.

Nappa gives this scene the backhand and the "bitch please" it deserves and we're done with that.

"Everyone important to you is dead." "Hey I'm still alive--" "EVERYONE important." "...Damn it."

See, this is where the Krillin Owned count should have gone up.

After Nappa doesn't smash, Goku appears on the battlefield. His reaction to showing up too late and everyone being dead is uncharacteristically deadpan, and it's hilarious. He asks where Chiaotzu is, and Krillin gives him the Achmed the Dead Terrorist explanation. Over there, over there, and up there. I'm not actually sure if this episode predates Jeff Dunham or not, but I enjoy both, both used the same joke at least once, and both make me laugh so I'm drawing the comparison anyways.

Goku asks why everyone is dead and Nappa immediately and without hesitation calls dibs. This leads into one of most famous and iconic scenes, if only for meme reasons, in all of DBZ.

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?" "It's... 1006." "Wha-- Really?" "Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!"

Not gonna lie, this genuinely made me burst into laughter the first time I saw it. I don't know if it was just shock value or what, but it doesn't have the same effect now that I know it's coming every time I rewatch this episode. I just love the idea of the scouter being upside-down and Vegeta not questioning it. An even better headcanon is that the scouter was never upside-down, Vegeta was just getting tired of Nappa's bullshit and just decided to send him into an ass-kicking anyways.

We're treated to a solid 15 seconds of Nappa getting completely curbstomped while the various characters look on in shock and awe, until Nappa gets dumped at Vegeta's feet.

It's also here that Vegeta finally learns that Piccolo's life is directly intertwined with the Dragon Balls. I believe this was already established in the original series, but no such conversation ever occurred here. Vegeta has quite simply lost his chance at immortality and it’s all because of Nappa.

I actually wonder how an immortal Saiyan would work. They receive a Zenkai boost, which makes them stronger when they almost die, but if you can't ever die, you can't ever “almost” die either, so you wouldn't get the Zenkai boost and your power wouldn't increase that way. Then again, most expectations of logic or consistency within Dragon Ball are pretty much always doomed.

Speaking of doomed, remember that timestamp at 9:18 that Vegeta referenced earlier? Because Vegeta certainly does, and with both the camel’s and Nappa's back having officially been broken, Nappa is sent to the shadow realm in a blinding flash of light and a massive explosion.

Vegeta's smirk is all we needed to close out this episode. There is no stinger.

Conclusion

Really good episode, actually. I wouldn't consider it as strong as Episode 7, but it definitely holds the same energy throughout. There are more high quality comedic moments in this episode than I could count on both hands. At worst some of the dialogue was uninteresting, pointless or overproduced, but the average pace of this episode rests rather highly compared to its valleys.

Microphone quality and sound mixing on some pieces of dialogue is still meh. Krillin's first line in this episode peaks the audio or something similar, because it takes me out for a hot second just because it's so sudden and emphatic.

We also see a slight evolution in the dynamic between Vegeta and Nappa which keeps things fresh. This is becoming less of a deadpan snarker and over the top clown, treads more into the ticking time bomb territory which is great for slowly building tension, and not unjustly as it has a satisfying payoff.

Plot holes in the original are addressed and lampooned here, creative jokes such as the Vogue Nappa and “1006″ are present and accounted for, and on the whole there's a lot of very on the mark humor, and only some of it is overdone. The story for this episode also holds significant weight and momentum, and it all blends together quite well with an above-average script and some great visual and audio edits.

Score: 77

Passing Thoughts

"Riiiiiicola!" - Oh hey, it's this again.

"Oh and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right Vegeta? Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege-- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

[roof-guard]

Transcription: Capsule Corporation and Brief’s family official statement on the Cell Games

Might as well put the official transcription somewhere useful for posterity other than CC’s main site.

Trunks:

Thank you all for your attendance. Myself and Dr. Bulma will be issuing statements. Because of the broad range of topics covered questions will not be taken from the floor today. However questions are welcome to be presubmitted for a later session. 

Capsule Corporation's and my family’s silence has not been to discredit the writing of Professor Son. On the contrary - we, and other relevant parties, have fully approved every word before publication. We were waiting until this particular revelation and focussed press attention to speak freely. Staff have been informed earlier today.

I would like to take this opportunity to confirm Professor Son’s story and book as a whole, and outline Capsule Corp’s involvement in the Cell Games. First, Dr. Bulma did indeed repair the Android Sixteen to attend the Games alongside Son Gohan, his father Son Goku, my father Vegeta and a number of other individuals who - whilst all good friends - wish to remain unnamed in this statement. Capsule Corporation and my family had no prior contact with Mr. Satan, no professional contact with Dr. Gero outside of coincidental conference attendances and definitively no hand in the creation of Cell - other than my father’s DNA being manipulated and used without his consent.

The young man at the Games bearing a striking resemblance to myself has been the subject of much debate and conspiracy. I can confirm his name was indeed Trunks, was 18 years old at the time and his parents were a Vegeta and Bulma. Whilst we share the same DNA he categorically was not me. To reiterate, I have not travelled back in time to the Cell Games. He came from a timeline where Dr. Gero’s plan had succeeded, and he came to help us prevent the same happening to us. We continue to be grateful for his warning and assistance.

Whilst some of Capsule Corporation’s technology has been inspired by off-patent alien tech, much of those spin-offs remain in private development by family members. Proudly, we can reassure you that DynoCaps have always been Earth’s invention, and to our knowledge the technology has not been replicated anywhere else in the galaxy.

and finally yes, my father was not born on Earth and was the heir to the throne of the same planet the late Son Goku originated from. That makes me and my sister only half-Earthling by blood alone. However this planet is all we have known and so remains, unquestionably, our and our family’s only priority. As such I will continue in my dual role as Capsule Corporation’s President and intermittent defender of Earth.

Bulma:

I met Son Goku at his home in the jungles of the South East an embarrassing number of years ago. I was sixteen at the time, him not much younger, and I was the first person he’d seen since his adoptive Grandfather passed away some years before. To say he was wild would be an understatement. After some persuasion he agreed to travel the world with me the entire summer. We made many friends that month, and our group only ever grew over time.

The year after we would encounter the Red Ribbon Army and the handiwork of Dr. Gero for the first time. I can tell you from first-hand experience the Army’s poor reputation is well-deserved, and Dr. Gero did nothing to redeem himself later with his dangerous and highly inappropriate approach to artificial intelligence and cybernetics. I’m glad to know the individuals who have put a stop to his brand of death and destruction over the years.

The time machine my future counterpart developed to enable Trunks to reach us remains in the future. My own attempt at replicating the technology has been stopped by forces threatening action for breaking galactic law should I continue. We are only beginning to learn the galaxy’s wider political situation through our connections and I am not willing to jeopardise any future official contact we as a planet should have. I urge other scientists to follow my lead.

Although not a man to stand on ceremony, Goku had a kind, open and loving nature that could draw in even the coldest people. Though he’d never admit it, that list would include even my husband Vegeta towards the end. Goku was, without a shadow of a doubt, my best friend. Our families have always been close - I consider his family an extension of my own, Gohan a nephew, and fully support his research and decision to write his book. If the Cell Games and other battles could have gone any differently for my and Goku’s own children I would have given my life to make it so. Sadly they could not, but with his research now in the open I feel I can sleep easier thinking of my own grandchildren’s futures.

My late husband and I were always - and continue to be I’m sure -extremely proud of our children. Their mixed heritage has been a source of great pride for them in turn - much to the joy of their father. That same sentiment extends from me to all our friends and family.

Regardless of their background and abilities, Trunks and Bra remain the same people - talented and more than competent in all they do. They continue to serve everyone both inside and out of Capsule Corporation. Mirroring that dedication, in my role of CEO I can ensure myself and Capsule Corporation will continue to supply and support the Emergency Relief Effort volunteers with funds and, soon, technology extending to now fully-tested ki-detection kits to aid in search and rescue.

I hope you can forgive our deception in time, and I hope we can look forward to a more open future together.