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#so when meng yao goes off the deep end? well big bro nie is like I HATE YOU
mejomonster · 5 years
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nie huaisang does a LOT for a dude who refuses nearly always to carry a real weapon even when surrounded by murderous hoards of puppets and literally a murderous clan holding him prisoner, who really mainly just prioritizes the simple things in life like gossiping about hot guys with his bros n partying n getting ppl to give him nice things
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trensu · 5 years
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Episode 10: The One with ANOTHER Moonlit Rooftop Moment
Still surrounded by dead bodies, guys. There is, unfortunately, an abundance of plot this time
But let’s slog through it BC OUR BOYS ARE WORTH IT
So right now we meet Xue Yang, Xiao Xingchen, and Song Lan
Love ya guys, but we’re not here for you today
(even tho xxc is the most beautiful elf prince of a boy i’ve ever seen; no wonder xy gets all obsessed with him and song lan falls in love)
(yes, song lan and xxc are in love, no i will not be taking comments)
Moving on!
Plot plot, xy and xxc have a sword fight, plot plot
Oooh, wait there is an itty bitty piece of WangXiantics here
Wwx uses his Magic Rope of Binding/Bonding to reel XY in like a fish and proceeds to yank him about while he tries to have a sword fight with xxc
(NO ONE’S ALLOWED TO HAVE ROMANTIC SWORD FIGHTS IN THE MOONLIGHT EXCEPT ME AND LWJ -- wwx, probably)
So he does this, and then throws a little grin at lwj and teases “lan zhan, are you still bored?”
Ahhh, wwx, you might as well have shouted: LAN ZHAN, DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID? WASN’T THAT CLEVER? ISN’T MY INVENTION USEFUL?? AREN’T YOU IMPRESSED???
It’s okay, we all got the message anyway
Except maybe lwj bc he is still a Disaster Gay™ even if he now knows he is In Love and Soulmate’d for Life
I’d like to pause a moment to let you all know that wwx has a HILARIOUS 'disgust' reaction to xy.
Xy is all captured and xxc is all CONFESS and xy is all yeah okay i killed all those guys and it was fun
Wwx’s face gets all twisted up like when you smell something rotten
AND THEN DOES A FULL-BODY TWITCH AWAY FROM XY LIKE HE’S TRYING NOT TO PHYSICALLY PUKE 
IT’S SO FREAKING FUNNY
I mean i shouldn’t laugh bc that’s probably a reasonable reaction to a unhinged killer saying that murder is just a fun hobby of his, BUT GOD, I HAD TO REWIND AND SEE THAT REACTION PLAY OUT TWICE, I WAS CRACKING UP
Anyway
Xy is all tied up and captured and everybody talks plot stuff (after introducing themselves and doing the whole “wow, you’re awesome,” and “no, no, you’re awesome” thing)
Xy laughs because he’s a murderous lunatic and wwx is like “what’s so funny asshole”
Wwx is def posturing here
I think he’s threatened bc they have similar sense of fashion
Like, hell no, this murderous bastard is not gonna steal MY look
HE’S GIVING BLACK ROBES A BAD RAP, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!
Lwj: Give us the Plot Device
Xy: idk what you’re talking about bro. I just came out here to have a good time and attack people right now
Wwx: lan zhan, don’t bother talking to him!!
Yeah, wwx is DEFINITELY feeling threatened lol
Like, omg why is lwj listening to this guy? Why did he get closer to him and start talking to him? LWJ HE’S NOT AS PRETTY AS ME!! I LOOK BETTER IN BLACK ROBES, LWJ, STOP LOOKING AT HIM
Wwx: i’ll search him, here hold my sword
Lwj: *pointedly does not reach for wwx’s sword*
None of this is a euphemism guys, get your minds out of the gutter
Wwx: right right, i can search him AND hold my sword at the same time, nbd nbd
Wwx: *proceeds to molest xy*
and in that moment, all of us suddenly wished to be a murderous lunatic
Xy: woah there, mr. handsy, people will talk!!
Wwx: bro, i am the KING of gay chicken, don’t try me
MEANWHILE, lwj is watching all this go down very intently
WHATCHA LOOKING AT LWJ
WHAT’S THE MATTER
R U JEALOUS RN??
‘Nooo, that’s supposed to ME under wwx’s sexy wandering hands’ --lwj, probably
we feel your pain, bro
So that’s the first wangxian moment of the episode
Lwj being jealous again
Altho to be fair, i mean, anybody would be miffed watching their soulmate feel up someone Not Them, right?
Right.
Plot plot plotty NHS and Meng Yao appear conveniently plotty plot plot
Xxc and SL get invited to Qinghe to witness Justice Get Served to XY
Xxc: yeah no, we’re not doing that. Clan politics not really our scene
Xxc: we prefer to be alone together and travel the world, right, boyfriend, i mean Song Lan?
SL: *is handsome and stoic*
Then wwx has a Same Hat moment
Wwx: OH, US TOO, ME AND LAN ZHAN DO THAT TOO
Lwj: you should give us your contact details 
Lwj: in case we need you.
Lwj: for stuff.
LOOK AT LWJ BEING ALL SOCIABLE
I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BB
(he really did ask them how to reach them tho)
Lwj rightfully saw xxc & SL and thought, now there’s a gay couple i can bond with
Then the group splits up with XXC and SL go their own way
I mention this because we get a shot of LWJ staring longingly at the pair of them as they walk off
You know why?
You all know why
IT’S BC HE’S DAYDREAMING OF HIM AND WWX DOING WHAT THEY DO
JUST TRAVELING TOGETHER AND PUTTING GOOD INTO THE WORLD
*SOBSOB*
And then WWX breaks the daydream with a simple “let’s go?” and lwj just turns around and follows him with barely a pause
BC HE LOVES WWX AND WILL GO ANYWHERE HE WANTS!!!! 
We arrive at the Unclean Realm for Plot Reasons
Plot plot, NMJ makes a Badass Entrance, jc & wwx fanboy over him, plot
More plot stuff
More non-wangxian stuff
So much non-wangxian stuff
Why, show, why
Foreshadowing Plot Stuff
AND WE’RE AT THE 30 MINUTE MARK OF THE EPISODE WHEN WE FINALLY GET A SUBSTANTIAL WANGXIAN SCENE
OH GOD, IT TOOK SO LONG
I ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT GUYS
BUT HERE I AM!!!
Okay, okay *deep breath* we’re good now
WWX IS ON A ROOF!!
RIGHT NEXT TO LWJ’S ROOM!!!
Bc he’s drunk and can’t find his way back to his own rooms so he thought sleeping on the roof was a good option?? JOIN A HELP GROUP, WWX
LWJ was peacefully meditating in his room and when there arose such a clatter that he had to grab bichen and was ready to cut a bitch
But just kidding! bc he hears wwx’s voice and immediately relaxes
Wwx: these roof tiles are much rougher than the ones in gusu, so rocky, so uncomfy
He says this as if it was done to purposely inconvenience him specifically
Again, he’s drunk here guys
But he’s a poetic drunk!!
Wwx: the world is a room, i’ll take the sky as my quilt and the ground as my bed
A very pretty way of saying I CAN’T FIND MY ROOM, GUESS I’LL SLEEP OUTSIDE
Wwx then shows us that he can’t drink properly from a jar of wine and just pours it into his mouth and sloshes half of it down his neck and on his clothes
Ooooh, but that’s a nice shot of his jawline
And oooh, his neck’s all glistening now
I APPROVE
I APPROVE VERY MUCH
And then ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND as lwj exits his rooms and walks outside to see wwx lounging on the rooftop like a particularly handsome raccoon or smth
Wwx: lan zhan, i’ll sleep on your roof tonight *passes out drunk but in a ridiculously cute way*
FOR REAL, HE JUST SPRAWLS OUT ON THE ROOF AND THEN ~GENTLY~ LEANS HIS HEAD ON HIS HIS HAND AND DRIFTS OFF ANGELICALLY
STOP BEING SO CUTE WWX
LWJ: wei ying, i have to go
He says SOFTLY and with LOVE and then PROCEEDS TO ABANDON HIS SOULMATE TO GO OFF AND DO STUPID PLOT THINGS
But guys, it was still beautiful
He says that and EVERYTHING goes all slo-mo as he walks away
I mean, the shot of him walking away is done so that we can see wwx perched on the rooftop above him and lwj does that stately strut he has
And then the camera gives us a shot of wwx’s face as the WIND GENTLY RUSTLES HIS HAIR
STILL IN SLO MO
WITH ~THEIR SONG~
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ugh gross, this beautiful scene is followed up by that wen chao 
Plot plot
Suddenly a wen vs. nie battle is happening
For Plot Reasons, blegh
Omg so many Dramatic Twirls everywhere
Okay, okay, unfortunately we gotta listen to Wen Chao for a moment to get a breadcrumb’s worth of wangxian here
Wc: hey, wwx, since you’re ~sooo~ interested in GusuLan stuff, let me tell you something
Wc: *proceeds to brag about his big brother destroying the cloud recesses*
(even the bad guys know wwx and lwj are obsessed with each other, YOU’RE NOT SUBTLE BOYS)
Wc: if lwj manages to make it home, he’s gonna find it in ruins!!
(seriously FUCK THIS GUY)
Wwx: *the most ferocious glare we’ve seen him do so far*
Looks like somebody just won first place in wwx’s shit list
Then more plot stuff happens, we see nmj and meng yao break up, blah blah blah
And that’s the end of ep10!!!
This was...so hard, guys. So difficult. A trial, even. I had to wait for an ENTIRE HALF-HOUR TO GET A SIGNIFICANT PIECE OF WANGXIAN PIE. 
I mean, yeah, i got to see xxc’s beautiful face, but GOD, AT WHAT COST??
Also, are you guys starting to notice a Thing about rooftops?
Because it’s there.
We’re def gonna have more Rooftop Moments
Stay tuned!
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