#so when my wife isn't feeling well i suffer tremendously

[wwwyzzerdd420]

Maybe I AM an extrovert

[sneakydraws]

what do you think about pierre and andrei? do you think it could actually work out together and if so how? i’m just curious cus i haven’t really seen other people who ship them too

haha i'm so flattered to be asked my opinion like a wap men expert..! i'm gonna go on a long and unfocused ramble now if you don't mind

my take is thus: andrei is a depressed repressed artistocrat who Knows he's attracted to men (in whatever 1800s language he might cloak it) (has known since he was young in fact. i have a comic somewhere in the back of my mind about andrei's teen journals written in code... but anyway) but is pretty dead set on never acting on that attraction because he just cares so, SO MUCH about being the perfect son and perfect nobleman and never indulging in his desires. Frankly at a certain point this mindset becomes so deeply rooted in him that it stops even being about risking his career/reputation and just becomes self-denial/rigid self control for the sake of it. Because he has issues.

His love for pierre i think is similar to his later love for natasha, in that he's attracted by pierre's youthfulness, naivete, lack of aristocratic savoir faire or any artificiality. i have to admit i really love that "you are the only alive person in our social circle" quote... andrei sees himself and the society he lives in as walking corpses, perpetuating pointless social conventions and actively avoiding any meaningful conversation because their reputation or social standing may suffer for it. pierre, as an outsider, is attractive to andrei because andrei sees his honesty, his naive passion, his unfiltered emotion, and sees everything that he himself is incapable of indulging in. That being said, i do think he sees pierre's faults as well - unlike with natasha later, where he was completely blinded by what she represented for him and suffered all the more when she turned out to be an imperfect human being. the reason why he doesn't idealise pierre to the same extent lies probably partly in their longer friendship, partly in misogyny that curses natasha with the madonna-whore treatment - pierre is more of a real person to andrei. i also think andrei needs to be railed by a bear so there's also that

as for pierre! i think he admires andrei tremendously, especially at the beginning of wap, and basically assumes andrei is superior to himself in every way, but either isn't interested in him romantically or simply doesn't realise it. he's definitely strongly characterised by a lack of knowledge of himself and his own needs or desires, as shown in his being peer pressured into marrying helene. so you have a situation where one party is unaware of their own feelings and the other refuses to act on theirs... an impasse.

so as you can see i'm skeptical that anything ever could happen between them but just for funsies let's imagine it does... thing is, andrei is so committed to torturing himself by staying faithful to his wife and never doing anything against the rules of wedlock (or of society!) even while he openly hates her and makes her miserable that i have to believe any adultery would weigh on him heavily no matter how much his heart aches for pierre. add to that the shame and danger of homosexuality and i really think that while he would seek out secret meetings with pierre with desperation he would be horribly miserable about it all the while, cursing his inability to stick to his principles and drowning in shame and self-reproach. and like i've discussed before, andrei is chronically incapable of being vulnerable with anyone (just look at his frantic but detached and mocking speech to pierre about how his marriage is making him unhappy, or the strangled way in which he proposes to natasha) so it's not like he could talk this over with pierre... and pierre isn't exactly the psychologically insightful type so, especially with the high regard he holds andrei in, i imagine he'd be confused at andrei's conflicted feelings and feel it was somehow his fault... i think the closes they could get to an honest talk about their feelings is something like the scene before borodino where andrei frantically paces the room spewing disgusted tirades about himself while pierre doesn't know how to comfort him. they'd have sex every so often and it would be great and messy and complicated and andrei would get that post nut shame trip and feel in turns happy and disgusted with himself for feeling happy and pierre would be too afraid of seeming stupid to question any of andrei's evasive answers. it would suck and they would be just two of the many victims of pre-therapy society. if at least they went to confession... maybe being catholic or at least xtian would save them but nooo they gotta be enlightened atheists. idiots

i should probably reread and rewrite this whole thing but it's late and i've had a rough few days so i think i'll just release this answer into the wild and go to sleep. i still dont know how they would even start hooking up tbh like i'm racking my brain. maybe andrei has some personal crisis and is finally convinced to have a drink and then his overstrained thread of rigorous self control snaps or maybe literally any of the kuragins pick up on andrei's feelings and tell pierre to mess with him. maybe fedya does. maybe pierre reads a boook about the homosexual agenda maybe his masonic buddies get him into a cool all gender orgy maybe anatole throws a bangin party and pierre realises some things about himself

[expectedevil]

❛ every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused. ❜

impassive  expression  reflected  by  unblinking  gaze  ,   confession  white  noise  in  constant  cacophony  of  criticism  .   negativity  has  no  home  here  ,   body  inhabited  by  a  heart  that  is  not  his  own  .   vital  function  irrevocably  altered  ,   theo  has  remained  the  entirety  of  existence  void  of  a  true  definition  of  self   —   shattered  ,   jagged  fragments  joined  together  of  the  strongest  remaining  fibers  of  others  .   created  for  destruction  ,   genetically  engineered  to  find  comfort  in  violence  .

stiles'  face  is  contorted  ,   disassembled  by  visceral  pain  .   words  are  spoken  through  tremendous  effort  ,   suffering  thrown  in  exasperation  across  empty  hall  .   the  school  is  suddenly  desolate  ,   pregnant  air  provided  by  apprehension  only  winter  nights  can  bring  .   electricity  hums  ,   static  triggering  piloerection  along  length  of  tightly  crossed  arms  .   he  allows  the  silence  to  build  ,   chemosignal  explosions  unique  to  hatred  suffocating  space  .

lip  twitches  gently  ,   corner  rising  into  mirthless  amusement  .   syllables  exiting  mouth  are  hollow  ,   stripped  bare  of  humanity  ,   kissed  by sharpened  edges  .

'   so  ,   probably  ,   kind  of  like  the  way  your  father  feels  when  he  looks  at  you  ,   stiles  .   because  every  time  he  closes  his  eyes  ,   all  he  can  see  is  the  memory  of  the  wife  you stole  from  him  .   the  wife  who  isn't  here  anymore  ,   simply  because  ,   well   —   you  are  .   '

[hologramcowboy]

This is my answer:

I don't stan danneel, i know nothing about her, except that she's Jensen's wife, i don't even like her acting, and i don't care about her, this isn't about her at all.

You are always accusing people of toxic positivity, but in reality you're just looking for a way to justify your hatred.

Jensen has a ton of legitimate reasons (that we actually know about) to be sad right now.

For starters the end of spn, for him it meat the end of life as he knew it for 15 years, he had a whole life built in Vancouver you know.

Not to mention the way spn ended was tremendously unfair to him.

Then this whole pandemic with the quarantine and fear, probably hearing about the death of people he knew just like everyone else (we all lost someone or something to covid)

He looked horrible all this time, until he started working in The Boys (a welcome distraction and you know, makeup teams do miracles) but he was away from his kids for months and months while .

Then he gets to work in a western with alec baldwin his freaking dream come true, but it was obliterated within a second, who knows what he saw, or what he knows, but it is probably enough to scar someone for life.

So yeah poor guy, i'm aware his life is not perfect.

That being said, i find incredibly unfair, disrespectful and upsetting is that you are here fully especulating about his private life, and then accusing other people of not respecting him.

especially after he spoke so openly about how hurtful and heartbreaking false narratives are.

Painting anon, you are the one who sent in the tag request thing? lol

I “accuse”people of toxic positivity because I made one post about it? You didn't even get the context. I was referring to the fact that putting a happy face sticker on his feelings and forcing him to behave a certain way IS TOXIC. It’s the very definition of toxic positivity.

I simply said give them man space to heal and I would say it for ANYONE going through that. It IS toxic positivity to expect someone to act/feel in ways they cannot because they are in pain. But thanks for proving you have no empathy whatsoever. 

I appreciate your perspective but here's mine: I think it's incredibly disrespectful, dis-empowering and toxic to IGNORE his true feelings and to not speak openly about things.

But thanks for trying to gaslight me and pit me against people, unfortunately for you, people who read this blog are intelligent and have a high emotional intelligence so they know I'm not "accusing" (do I look like Jesus to you, painting anon?) anyone but I am just being a voice in favor of Jensen's well-being and adding my humble perspective which they can consider or not because they are fully capable of thinking and feeling for themselves. The false narratives Jensen was referring to did not come from this blog which by the way didn't even exist back then. He was referring to the fact that when he arrived at an event separately from Danneel and then sold his dream house people started speculating they were divorcing and for some reason they felt like it was not toxic to limit people from assuming what was natural to assume given the circumstances. That was not a heroic thing Jensen did, it was a way of saying "Oh look we are so famous people speculate about us". It's a PR buildup in collaboration with Cliff and Danneel and whatever said publicist advised them to pull something like that but you wouldn't know anything about that because you perceive everything superficially and judgementally. This blog is for people with CRITICAL THINKING, not for blinded stans, you want your fantasy? Go have it in your fake corner of the internet. Round here we behave like real people with personal thoughts and we engage in critical thinking. You admit that Jensen is suffering but criticize me for defending him....That lacks coherence and shows your only agenda is making Danneel, the very woman responsible for his state, look good even thought she is a toxic influence. Good luck with that, please get off my blog before I block you. You have no trace of positivity you are just full on TOXIC.