#soft fluffy jeffrey vibes <3 love that.

[bilbao-song]

Jeff Lynne & Paul McCartney, 2002

[hryptid]

HI HELLO IT IS TIME FOR MY ~OFFICIEL~ FIRST LEG OF TOUR LEWK™️ RANKINGS*

GOD TIER, UNDEFINABLE, UNRANKABLE, THESE LOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE ND SUPPORTED ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID:

Amsterdam Harris Reed - a sexci pirate courtesan whom could probably swindle me out of everything i own. there is just something so indescribable about the way harry carried himself on stage that night, nd the only thing that comes 2 mind when i think about him flouncing around without a care in the world is Harris saying, “[my clothes] allow somebody to fully inhabit who they’re meant to be.” 🤧

Glasgow Kilt - gothic cryptid of the highlands. probably spends his time roaming forgotten castles. he joked he’d been looking for a reason to wear a kilt but i FELT that. this might be a reach but i really do hope this has Maybe, Possibly, opened a few more doors for him in terms of dabbling in more experimental silhouettes in the coming years. SWISH SWISH. 

now 4 The Order,,

London Gucci - an absolute DREAM. i feel like this entire look was out 4 my neck Specifically. A High Waist! Quintessential Gucci glitter fuckery! Side stripe detailing on the trousers! nd for a Wee throwback, frog closures done RIGHT in the name of that terrible yellow suit he wore in melbourne last year. LUV U GUCCY UR A REAL ONE. 

Madrid Palomo Spain - SHE DIED(RIPPED) SO THE REST OF US COULD LIVE. Ass x22. 

Stockholm Calvin Klein - GIGANTIC RAF NUT. a beautiful checked strawberry shortcake with boots made from outer space. moment of silence 4 the First Appearance of The Vests nd also the last of my sanity. 

Barcelona Palomo Spain - A BEAUTIFUL ABSTRACT SEQUINED HOUNDSTOOTH MOMENT. I DONT HAV ANYTHIN 2 SAY OTHER THAN *CHEFS KISS*

Basel Gucci - black monochromatic disco ball darling. i hav a strong Hemotional Honnection 2 this one purely because it was the first night and i will never forget the I Just Drank Six Shots Of Espresso In A Row feeling i had watchin the livestream nd seeing him sparkle and sway like the littol rhinestone he is

Mannheim Charles Jeffrey - MY SAFETY PIN SWEETIE. i’ve been enjoying the variety of Shapes we’ve seen this tour so far, and the billowy curtain vibes of this look really Kills the man. henry’s weeping willow-esque frame has the tendency to get lost in swathes of fabric but i LOVED the fit. and he luved her enuff to wear the trousers out and about in london two days later :’((((( 

Dublin Charles Jeffrey - MOTHER KIWI!!! i thot i loved this jumpsuit the first time around but i would DIE 4 her now. the tailoring both raised and murdert me. PLEATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Birmingham Calvin Klein - GIGANTIC RAF NUT PT. DEUX. i would pay him 2 step on my neck with him striped boots. 

Bologna Gucci - HOT PINK, SHEER SHIRT, MY ENTIRE HEART. ETC ETC. he loved her enough 2 wear her for the entirety of his Italian excursion. ate very expensive pasta in her. a queen of VERSATILITY. we saw her with 3 different shirts nd shoes combos nd she looked great the whole time. Wowmst. 

Milan Gucci - A SENTIENT BOW. he was the christmas present i always wanted but never received. 

London McQueen - HANIA STWAIN. the fit looks iffy in some shots of her BUT she’s fluffy and everything my early-noughties-self could hav ever hoped for. 

Copenhagen Gucci - How To Look Like An Ethereal Celestial Nymph In Head To Toe Blue Glitter - a memoir by Harry Styles. gucci rlly fucking knows how to make a fucking suit. 

Oslo McQueen - Bougie Bathrobe Wearing Old Man Staring Wistfully Out Of The Peaked Windows Of His Manor. he looked a bit lost in the shape of this one but the patchwork was GORG 10/10 def would listen 2 him wax poetic abt the state of his gold candlestick holders. 

Oberhausen Givenchy - A nice foray into embroidery. The fit of the jacket left me mourning what Could Have Been, but she was an accomplice to the Avocado photo nd for that i will forever be indebted. 

Paris Saint Laurent - HIDDIES HIDDIES HIDDIES HIDDIES HIDDIES.

Munich Calvin Klein - 21st CENTURY WILLY WONKA. This had the potential 2 be top ten but Harry disrespected me by wearing sparkly boots instead of the original white ones. A victim of my own pettiness. 

Manchester McQueen - Subtle Hot Pink Heetlejuice. would hav ranked higher if YOU’D TAKEN THE JACKET OFF YOU COWARD

Hamburg Gucci - an assemblage of multiple interior decorating mantras circa 1974 amalgamated into One Single suit. i am currently in a passionate Love/Hate relationship with this one. it was refreshing to see henry in a geometric pattern rather than a floral for once, and the soft pink contrast lapels and buttons did their best 2 offset the Brown Throw Pillow My Nan Used To Have vibes, but alas......... 

Antwerp McQueen - a suit that did not age very well in terms of the overall Collection of LOOKS Harry² hav thrown at us this past month. She’s cute! She’s giving us ornate yet dreamy lace detailing! And we do love a nice Sparkly statement shoe in this house! but she is..... dare i say........................ a bit Boring..... 

*terms and conditions apply, this ranking may be subject 2 change, see back next leg of tour for more details